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  • In this episode, I unravel how to extend connection to our children while acknowledging that some might see this connection as a threat. I offer insights on toning down the demand for connection, enabling our children to relax in it, and thereby strengthen their stress response system. I also reference the previous episodes in this four-part series by talking about the science of opposition, some practical strategies, and tackling kids stuck in protection mode, all with the aim of providing a comprehensive understanding of making connection a safe experience.

    In this episode you’ll learn:

    That providing too much connection can often be overwhelming and feel more like danger than connectionTo titrate connection and supply only as much as the child needs or wantsShowing your child you think of them when are not together like buying their favorite snack, titrates connection by showing that you are thinking of them and you see them

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    Exploring Low Demand Parenting: Shifting Power Dynamics And Nurturing Trust {EP 142}

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional4

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
    You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

    RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

  • If offering safety and connection is the antidote to oppositional behavior, what do you do if connection isn’t experienced as safe or regulating by your child?

    In this episode you’ll learn:

    How connection and protection can get tied togetherHow to keep offering connection, even when it’s consistently rejected by your childThe science behind why YOU need to be receiving connection - and how you can do that even if you don’t have a lot of extra time or supportive people in your life

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    Regulated Does Not Equal Calm {Ep 31}Match The Energy, NOT The Dysregulation {Ep 155}Free Resources - robyngobbel.com/freeresources

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppostitional3

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

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  • Last week we talked about the science of oppositional behavior. This week, let’s look at strategies to help children rest into felt safety so their nervous system feels better and their oppositional protective strategies can decrease.

    In this episode you’ll learn:

    An invitation to consider some of our cultural beliefs around opposition in the parent/child relationshipHow to use our grown-up brains to invite connection and cooperationStrategies for creating felt safety in the child's inner worldStrategies for creating felt safety in the child's environmentStrategies for creating felt safety in the relationship

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}Neuroimmune Disorders And Big, Baffling, Behaviors With Dr. Qazi Javed {Ep 97}What To Do After We Mess Up {Ep 80}Parenting Superpower! X-ray Vision {Ep 13}Self-Compassion Will Change Your Brain {Ep 8}Neuroimmune Podcast Series!~ robyngobbel.com/neuroimmuneseries


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional2

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
    You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

    RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

  • What if oppositional behavior is a normal response to feeling unsafe? In this episode, we unfold the layers of oppositional behavior and its roots in the nervous system. We look into the diagnostic complexities of Oppositional Defiant Disorder and dive into how our own state of the nervous system is important in helping our children navigate their Watchdog and Possum pathways.

    In this episode you’ll learn:

    That even oppositional behaviors make total senseSpending a lot of time in protection mode is hard on the bodyChanging the behavior is not the goal- regulation, connection, and felt safety isThe diagnosis of Oppositional Defiance Disorder is just a label- we have to stay curious about the causes for treatment

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    Start Here Podcasts - robyngobbel.com/starthereWhen Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}Connection or Protection {Ep 7}

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional1

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
    You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

    RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

  • All behavior makes sense and no behavior is maladaptive- in the moment that behavior emerges.

    Of course, the IMPACT of the behavior might be maladaptive and absolutely many behaviors need to change.

    But understanding that all behavior makes perfect sense at the moment it emerges is the lynchpin in offering folks co-regulation, connection, and felt-safety.


    In this episode, you’ll learn

    How all brains create realityThe brain’s most important jobThe most effective path to take if you want to see behavior change


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/allbehaviormakessense

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
    You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

    RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

  • It’s really important to me and my team that you have all the information you might need when making the decision to join The Club- or not.

    The Club is open for new members now, October 1-8, 2024, and I recorded this episode based on some of the most commonly asked questions


    In this episode, you’ll learn

    What The Club even is and why it’s different than other parenting communitiesWhat’s included in your Club membership (so much!)How easy it is to access and participate in The ClubHow easy it is to step away from The Club whenever you’re ready


    Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/whatsintheclub

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With



    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

  • Whiplash. You probably know what I mean. You start to be lulled into a life with fewer meltdowns, or less intensity. Then BOOM. An old behavior seems to explode out of nowhere.

    You’re right back to feeling like everything’s awful or it’ll never get better or you’ll have to live like this forever.

    You might even be frustrated with yourself that you let yourself ‘relax.’

    All of these experiences are completely normal for folks who love someone with a chronic condition that occasionally flares- which is what a vulnerable nervous system is.


    In this episode, you’ll learn

    The whiplash and why we feel itWhy our kids seem to attack outta no whereWhy these moments feel like everything is as worse as ever- but it probably isn’tWhy it’s GOOD we can finally rest, even if it does leave us feeling unprotected and whiplashed


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/whiplash

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With



    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

  • If self-regulation doesn't really exist- then what do we mean when we talk about self-regulation? And why does it matter?

    In this episode, you’ll learn

    What self-regulation REALLY isHow “self” regulation developWhy you should still teach self-regulation skills


    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}Self-Regulation Doesn't Exist!!! (ep 43)


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/selfregulation

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

  • We could never have too many ideas about how to cultivate connections between home and school. Author of Light Up the Learning Brain (and Riley the Brave) Jessica Sinarski shares practical ideas that can help parents and schools work together to support kids with vulnerable nervous systems.

    In this episode, you’ll learn

    Practical, easy-to-implement strategies to create connections between parents and teachersWhy regulation is foundational for learningWhere to find resources that support educators in creating a culture of compassion


    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    Light Up the Learning BrainSupporting Kids Who Struggle with Change www.BraveBrains.comFree Resources


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/improvingconnections

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
    You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

    RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

  • Parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems is practically synonymous with “controlling.” Our kids are controlling and for most of us, if we were honest, we’d notice that the stress of parenting is causing us to get controlling, too.

    Why?

    In this episode, you’ll learn

    Why protection mode almost always leads to an increase in controlling behaviorHow controlling behavior is an attempt to find safety and connectionTips on how to offer co-regulation to a child who is attempting to control you


    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    Connection or Protection??? {EP 7}Scaffolding is a Form of Co-Regulation {EP 82}Stress Response System {EP 94}Exploring Low-Demand Parenting: Shift Power Dynamics and Nurturing Trust {EP 142}


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/controlling

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

  • Almost every time I teach, especially if there are folks in the audience not already familiar with my work or the concept of co-regulation, someone asks the very valid question of-

    “Isn’t this (co-regulation) just coddling?”

    Fair question! There are a lot of underlying assumptions and fears in this question that we will deconstruct in today’s episode.

    Spoiler: Co-regulation is NOT coddling!

    In this episode, you’ll learn

    The difference between co-regulation and coddlingWhy asking this question helps us understand some of our fearsWhat trust has to do with co-regulation


    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    Self-Regulation Doesn't Exist!!What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}Enabling vs. Low-Demand Parenting {Ep 144}


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/coddling

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

  • This episode originally aired on November 7th, 2023

    Does your child yell, scream, or otherwise refuse to talk about their owl, watchdog, or possum brain?

    They tell you it’s stupid or tell you to stop talking or get extra silly or just don’t talk?

    I hear this from a LOT of parents (and I experienced it a lot in the play therapy room).

    This doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for your child. Promise.

    In this episode you’ll learn:

    The developmental milestones needed before a child can identify or talk about their owl, watchdog, or possum brainHow we can use our kids’ behavior as cues/clues to let us know something about their brain development and what interventions are appropriate (clinical reasoning)The role of distress toleranceSteps to take to scaffold your child in developing self-reflection and mindsight, as well as decrease shame around their behavior

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    Can I Teach My Child About Their Brain? {Ep 114}Healing Blocked Care With Melissa Corkum and Lisa Qualls {Ep 123}

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/talkaboutwatchdog

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:

    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
    You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

    RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

  • This episode originally aired February 17th, 2023

    I’ve been listening for a while and the watchdog and possum brain ideas have really helped me. Is it OK to teach this to my kids too? I’m worried they’ll start using it as excuses.

    I get this question all the time! If we teach our kids about the watchdog and possum brain are they going to start saying things like “My watchdog brain made me hit my sister!”

    In this episode, I:

    Outline the benefits of teaching our kids about their brain (there are lots)Teach you what to do if your child uses it as an excuseRecommend resources for how to teach your child about their brain

    Welcome to Fridays in February Q&As! I'll be answering one question every Friday in February.

    Additional Resources:

    Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior Podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/changebehavior
    Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior FREE Webinar: https://robyngobbel.com/webinar
    The START HERE podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/starthere

    Over on my website you can find:

    Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

  • Does your child with a vulnerable nervous system say mean, hurtful, taunting, or aggressive things to your other kids? You already know you can’t control what comes out of someone else’s mouth, so what do you do??? How do you help your kids deal with their sibling’s verbal aggression?

    In this episode, you’ll learn

    Steps to help increase your children’s psychological boundariesActivities that will help your children increase their psychological boundaries


    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    Setting Boundaries That Sick - Juliane Taylor Shore's book!Boundaries with Verbal Aggression with Juliane Taylor Shore {EP 115}Setting Boundaries That Stick With Juliane Taylor Shore and Therapist Uncensored {EP 185}Helping Siblings Understand "Unfair" Parenting {EP 186}Teach Siblings about Owls, Watchdogs, and Possums... Without Excusing! {EP 187}Grief as the Sibling of a Child with Special Needs {EP 188}


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/siblingsverbalaggression

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

  • What on earth should you do when you have more than one child dysregulated at the same time? You’re outnumbered, you’re overwhelmed. Now what?

    In this episode, you’ll learn

    The #1 step to take when more than one kid is dysregulatedWhat to prioritize How to have realistic expectations for yourself


    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    Child Always Dysregulated? Try This! {EP 18}Stress Response System {EP 94}Enabling vs. Low-Demand Parenting {EP 144}Grief as the Sibling of a Child with Special Needs {EP 188}


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/twokidsdysregulated

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

  • If you are a regular listener here on The Baffling Behavior Show, big, baffling behaviors and big meltdowns are no longer surprising in your home.

    Even if we can’t predict those moments of 'Back-Off or, 'Attack' Watchdog, "Shut Down' or, 'Play Dead' Possum, we can predict that it is going to happen again.

    You can create felt safety for the other children in your home by making a plan.

    In this episode, you’ll learn

    Key things to consider when making a plan for what siblings should do during a meltdownScripts for how to talk to your other children about the plan How to empower siblings to get help when they recognize lower level cues and clues of the watchdog or possum pathway in their sibling


    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior {EP 84}


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/helpsiblings

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With



    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

  • Grief is hard to acknowledge and talk about. The truth is, there is grief involved with being the sibling of a child with a special need. In today’s episode, we’re exploring how to support the siblings of kids with a nervous system disability with behavior-based symptoms with all their feelings, especially grief.

    In this episode, you’ll learn

    How to validate all your children’s feelings, even when they are really uncomfortableHow to acknowledge the truth that in most circumstances, your other children really are less seen in your familyThe four questions to ask yourself when thinking about how to help your kids with their grief


    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    Grief In Parenting Kids With Vulnerable Nervous Systems {EP 129}Ableism, Parenting, And Trauma Informed Care {EP 85} (Guest Marshall Lyles)I HATE YOU! And Other Big Feelings {EP 168}


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/siblinggrief

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With



    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

  • One way we can support the siblings of kids with big, baffling behaviors is to teach them about owls, watchdogs, and possums (or some way to understand the brain and behaviors) as well as to teach them about nervous system vulnerabilities and ‘overactive’ watchdog and possum brains!

    In this episode, you’ll learn

    Steps to take when teaching siblings about owls, watchdogs, and possums so they won’t feel like you’re just excusing bad behaviorThe importance of validating your kids’ experience that the way you parent their sibling is unfairA couple scripts for talking to your children about their sibling’s watchdog and possum brain (available on my website by CLICKING HERE)

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    Helping Siblings Understand "Unfair" Parenting {EP 186}Can I Teach My Child About Their Brain? {EP 114}My Child Won't Talk About Their Watchdog and Possum Brain {EP 160}EVERYONE Has A Watchdog And Possum Brain! {EP 178}Is Understand Behavior Just Excusing It? {EP 109}Enabling Vrs. Low-Demand Parenting {EP 144}


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/teachsiblings

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With



    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

  • Do you have kids who feel like the way you parent their sibling (the one with the worst behavior!!!) is unfair?

    We’ll be tackling different topics on how to support siblings over the next month.

    In this episode, you’ll learn

    The five things to consider when thinking about how to help siblings understand ‘unfair’ parentingAre you parenting all your kids thru the lens of regulation, connection, and felt safety?Do all your children know about owls, watchdogs, and possums (or some other way to understand the brain and conceptualize behaviors)Do your school-age and older child understand vulnerable nervous systems and sensitized stress response systems (overactive watchdog and possum brains)Do your children (siblings of kids with special needs) feel really, truly seen by you?Is this actually more about unresolved grief (yours and/or theirs)

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    Is Understanding Behavior Just Excusing It? {EP 109}Stress Response System {EP 94}What Does Vulnerable Nervous System Mean {122}Grief in Parenting Kids with a Vulnerable Nervous System {EP 129}Can I teach my kids about their brain? {EP 114}
    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/unfair

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With



    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
    You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

    RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

  • Something new and unexpected here on The Baffling Behavior Show!

    This episode is actually from the Therapist Uncensored Podcast with Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley. Sue and Ann interviewed one of y'alls FAVORITES- Juliane Taylor Shore.

    Juliane was on The Baffling Behavior Show a long time ago, talking about psychological boundaries and verbal aggression. This is one of my most played episodes EVER.

    Juliane just published a new book on boundaries so when Sue and Ann asked if I wanted to do a podcast feed swap, I knew y'all would LOVE to hear from Juliane.

    In this episode, you'll hear Sue and Ann interview Juliane all about Setting Boundaries that Stick.

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    Setting Boundaries that Stick by Juliane Taylor ShoreTherapist Uncensored Podcast with Sue Marriott and Ann KelleyBoundaries with Verbal Aggression podcast episode #115 with Juliane Taylor Shore


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/boundariesthatstick

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
    You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

    RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources