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In this episode I explore a bunch of pressures on female libido that I see over an over and yet are not commonly thought of as desire stoppers.
I am hoping that this episode feels hopeful and gives you lots of options for healing and exploration where you otherwise may have been feeling stuck.
This episode does come with the trigger warning of the mention of sexual trauma.
Listen to the end for my top tips on what to do once you discover these barriers to your libido.
To get in touch email me [email protected]
About Nicole
Nicole Mathieson is a couple therapist and relationship focussed counsellor helping people come back to themselves. Nicole teaches practical experiential skills to ceate more loving, connected and harmonious intimate relationships - with themselves and their partners.
Website nicolemathieson.com/
Instagram @nicole.mathieson
Buy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload
Get the course nicolemathieson.com/courses
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Solutions are good right? I am just trying to help. Yes, but we actually find it really frustrating when we are sharing an issue and our partner jumps straight to solutions. Why is that? What is going on here? And what do we want and need instead?
Listen to this episode as we explore what is going on with not always loving solutions.
About Nicole
Nicole Mathieson is a couple therapist and relationship focussed counsellor helping people come back to themselves. Nicole teaches practical experiential skills to ceate more loving, connected and harmonious intimate relationships - with themselves and their partners.
Website nicolemathieson.com/
Instagram @nicole.mathieson
Buy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload
Get the course nicolemathieson.com/courses
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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In this episode, I talk to my beautiful, soulful friend Kris Franken.
So many people ask me how they can find themselves, be true to themselves and still be in relationship. It can be tricky to navigate. We fear that if we change and become more true to ourselves that we will lose our partner. We fear that authenticity and integrity means loss of connection. Well, today I called in Kris to talk to us about this because Kris, in my opinion is the epitomy of being true to herself, of being wildly, truly authentic, and she manages all this within her 20+year relationship.
Kris shared her integrity and authenticiy with me on the Beauty Load podcast where we talk about our own true beauty.
Here is the link: shows.acast.com/the-beauty-load/episodes/10-true-beauty-beyond-the-illusion-with-kris-franken
About Kris
My guest on this episode is my friend, author, mentor, healer and way shower, Kris Franken.
Kris is a spiritual teacher who has a background in psychology as well as in the magazine publishing world and is the author of 2 books and creator of multiple oracle card sets. One of the reasons that I really wanted to share her with you and get her wisdom into the Beauty Load is that Kris is having a deep love affair with mother earth – her take on beauty comes from a place of being deeply deeply connected in the experience of living in her body as a spiritual being in amongst nature and the miracle of life.
Where to find Kris
Check Kris out on Instagram @kris_franken
Kris has her second book,Wild hearted purpose which is out now.
All details are at: www.krisfranken.com/wildheartedpurpose/
And here is her website: krisfranken.com
About Nicole
Nicole Mathieson has impacted the lives of thousands of women through her writing,
speaking, podcasts and work as a counsellor.
In the therapy room, Nicole helps Individuals and couples to find a deeper and more stable connection to themselves as a foundation for their relationship with life and each other. Nicole is passionate about helping people in practical ways to feel safe and more conencted within their relationships.
Website nicolemathieson.com/
Instagram @nicole.mathieson
Buy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload
Get the course nicole-mathieson.thinkific.com/courses/Insecurity-to-body-confidence
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Does your partner have sex tantrums?
How does it make you feel?
How do they feel?
What is going on and how do you get out of the downward spiral of need, guilt, obligation, and then less desire?
Listen in as we unpack this very common dynamic, try not to generalise too much, and as I give you a few pointers to get back to sex without the guilt, anxiety and pressure.
For more exploration on sex tantrums check out Emily Nagoski's book Come As You Are.
Check out my other podcast The Beauty Load, how to feel good enough in your body here - shows.acast.com/the-beauty-load
Website nicolemathieson.com/
Instagram @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyload
Buy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Intimacy (and I am not talking about sex), in my opinion is one of the hardest things in the whole world, but also, something that gives us the deepest most heart fulfilling satisfaction.
Gah, what a dilemma! It would be so much easier if we could just get all operational and robotic and not have to have those hard conversations, get vulnerable and honest with ourselves and then share it with another....we could just get on with it. But alas, as humans, we are drawn back in to the fray.
To do it best, intimacy starts within with an intimate relationship with ourselves. So what does that look like?
In this episode I share my very messy intimate journey that led me to be an intimacy and relationship coach and share with you what getting intimate entails.
This episode was inspired by an interview on @drkirstyseward 's podcast. You can listen to that here - podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dr-kirsty-seward/id1617397162
Check out my other podcast The Beauty Load, how to feel good enough in your body here - shows.acast.com/the-beauty-load
Website nicolemathieson.com/
Instagram @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyload
Buy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hello ,it's me Nicole Mathieson and I would like to introduce you to my brand new podcast; The Beauty Load, How to feel good enough in your body.
This podcast is inspired by my book also called the Beauty Load in which I explore this exhausting pressure, anxiety and insecurity that many if not all women feel in regards to the way they look.
In this podcast, I aim to explore how the Beauty Load is felt by different people, in different countries, different cultures and sub-cultures and with different experts.
I aim to normalise the struggle of the Beauty Load.
I aim to question the culture, the expectations and the high standards we hold ourselves to.
I aim to raise awareness of how much of a privilege it is to even worry about this. But also to raise awareness of how much we are trapped and limited by this constant insecurity and anxiety the way that we look creates in us.
Most of all, I hope that in all this exploring we feel a little bit less alone and we can minimise the load that we carry, so that we can just get on with living our lives and being our beautiful, radiant selves.
Website nicolemathieson.com/
Instagram @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyload
Buy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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In this episode we talk to Slow Living coach Rachelle Glendon about the benefits of concsiously slowing down on all of our relationships. In this chat we talk about; * implementing some matriachal ways, which sound so good * tips for slowing down * how slow living challenges your own unhealthy beliefs and invites healing * how slow living moves you from resentment and passive aggressive communication to nurture. You can catch Rachelle at howtoliveslow.com and @howtoliveslow on the gram.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Why is a relationship coach / therapist writing a book about body image I hear you ask? That's because the Beauty Load, body image, how we feel about ourselves and our confidence with fitting in in the world, are all relationship issues. I don't know about you but my body was front and centre as I stepped into relationship and sexual intimacy as a young adult. Listen in as I share how my book The Beauty Load is a relationship book in so many ways. Grab your copy of the book at nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload Follow me on Instagram @nicole.mathieson Take care Nicole
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Sometimes we feel wrong for feeling the Beauty Load, especially when our males partner's or friends just don't get it. But the stress and concern of the Beauty Load is real and in this episode I share an example that demonstrates how differently the Load is experienced, generally speaking, by women and men.
Buy the book The Beauty Load www.nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload
follow me on instagram @nicole.mathieson
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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In this special Beauty Load episode of the podcast, I am reading the first chapter (the introduction) of my new book The Beauty Load, how to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty. The message of my book is basically that you feeling not "enough" about your looks is not personal, it is not about you and your looks but instead it is inevitable if you have grown up in a culture with such toxic messaging and an obsession with beauty.
To buy the book, go to nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload/
or pop over to Amazon, Booktopia or The Book depository.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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There is a lot going on in the world at the moment that can leave us feeling a bit or a lot traumatised. I am inspired to share this "what not to do" episode, because of what I see happening around me, and that is people who have been through a lot, not allowing themselves the space and nurture they need, because there are others struggling more than them. We compare and we think "I should not be worried!" but this just keeps us stuck.
nicolemathieson.com
@nicole.mathieson
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If there is one thing the Beauty Load pressure leaves us women with, it is a sense of shame. We are shamed on so many fronts on all aspects of our body and appearance. In this episode I explore the shame, grandiosity loop and how we can get out of it to create a new culture, at least for ourselves.
The Beauty Load book out April 2022
Instagram: @nicole.mathieson
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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There are a lot of books out there about loving our body and the issues that come with it, so why have I written another book about it? In this episode I share with you my motivations for writing this book:
-from my own struggles with feeling enough -to the impact the Beauty Load has on my clients and friends -seeing women in Cuba who didn't seem to be struggling in the same way -my fear for my own children -and our need to unpack this patriarchal, consumerist craziness For more nicolemathieson.com @nicole.mathieson
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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How do you manage stress in your relationship?
How does it feel when your partner is stressed? How do you respond? How do they respond to you? Stress can be a really disconnecting force in a relationship if it goes unmanaged.
In this episode I share with you, how I dealt with my husband's stress really badly and how I repaired on that occassion. I also share with you why dealing with stress is so important and I go through the Gottman "stress reducing conversation" pointers.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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In this episode, I speak to Emily, who with her partner Sean, created Yum cards for couples. We talk about how these cards help couples reconnect and why reconnecting feels so darn yum! You can check out the cards here playyum.com
For more go to nicolemathieson.com @nicole_mathieson_coach
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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You are not going to get rid of your suffering and that's okay. We do not need to be wrapped in cotton wool and protected from all the harshness to be okay, which is great, because it would probably be pretty isolating there. We are going to suffer, the trick is to not panic about it. Not to panic about the fear, the anxiety, the sadness, the pain, but to recognise all of these feelings as understandable responses to what is going on for you in the world.
For more about Nicole go to:
www.nicolemathieson.com
or on Instagram @nicole_mathieson_coach
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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How does the way you look or feel in your body influence your desire?
Research shows that us women, in general, need to feel ourselves sexy in order to feel desire. We need to feel sexy in our bodies, our minds, our energies and our imaginations first before we can share ourselves.
Does that resonate with you?
Come with me on this podcast journey while I explore this a little.
Find out more about my coaching / counselling and resources at nicolemathieson.com or follow me @nicole_mathieson_coach
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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We want certainty in our relationships. We say..."I'll be happy when there is a ring on my finger or we buy that house or we have kids or whatever"
Which makes sense, we are human and certainty feels secure. But the cementing in (the grasping for certainty) is also the very thing creating the stuckness that leads us to resentment and eventually a desire to possibly even leave.
We deserve relationship that feel fluid and free and like we choose to be there.
In this episode I explore with you how to un-cement and create fluidity in our relationships.
follow Nicole on Instagram @nicole_mathieson_coach
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Break ups can be devastating. They are without a doubt big events in our lives. Which is why we need Mackenzie, a break-up specialist.
Mackenzie and I chat about the sometimes rough and tumultuous phase break-ups. She herself has navigated 2 very different break-ups; one toxic and one conscious and shares her wisdom with us.
We chat about: -her break-up stories and how she navigated them -how to recognise a narcissist -the places people get stuck in the break-up process -the anchor points to help you through to the wisdom and growth on the other side of the pain.
You can follow Mackenzie here:
Insta: @_honeyintheheart_ Website: www.kenzieeason.com For more go to www.nicolemathieson.comHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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So much happens to your relationship and your sex life after you have kids. Everything changes. Your roles, your sex life, how you spend your time, how you see each other and that's not to mention your expectations of each other. It is big!
How do you as a couple, cope with all this change and stress?
It can be super hard.
Catherine Topham Sly from Insight and Connection in the UK chat about this major relationship challenge in this episode.
You can find Catherine on Insta & FB @insightandconnection or on her website www.insightconnection.uk
For more about me, Nicole go to www.nicolemathieson.com or find me @nicole_mathieson_coach
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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