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I am super excited to have Todd Baratz as a guest on the podcast. Todd is a renowned psychotherapist and sex therapist whose innovative approaches to mental health and relationships have established him as a leading figure.
We talked about:His new book "How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind"Reframing how we approach relationship issuesHow to deal with breakupsThe difference between cultural diagnoses and true toxic traitsWhat "hurt potential" is, how it can impact new relationships, and what we can do about itHow to craft a "relationship contract"The first step we can all take today to improve our relationshipsThis episode has so many great take-aways to build healthier and more fulfilling relationships. It all starts with developing more self-awareness and getting to know ourselves on the inside. In addition to his clinical practice, Baratz is a prolific writer and speaker. His insights are regularly featured in various media outlets, where he discusses topics ranging from romantic relationships to individual mental wellness.
Website: https://www.toddsbaratz.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourdiagnonsense
New Book: How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind
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Guest: Jill Foos, National Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach (NBHWC) with a rich background in psychology and functional medicine health coaching.
This week, we come to you with one of your favorite things to hear because it's HOPEFUL, a Smart Dating Academy real-life love story. Jill was a coaching client who found the lid to her pod and started her own business.
Jill met her husband at a young age and they eloped to get married and had 5 kids. Jill started seeing the red flags early on, and that they were on separate pages just a few years into the marriage, but they stuck it out for 24 years and eventually got divorced.
Jill and Bela met in 2018 when she wasn't dating yet. She knew she needed help getting back into the dating world and decided to start working with SDA. Lindsay and I helped Jill figure out what characteristics and traits she SHOULD BE looking for in a partner to make her happy -- vs. the standard "checklist" women often use!
After setting up her dating profile on the apps, Jill really embraced the whole process and dated for about 18 months. What was her 'last first date'? A wonderful set-up date by a friend with a man named Noah. She immediately liked Noah during their first date because he made her laugh. This was during Covid, so they kept it slow and got creative with their dates.
After about 6 months of dating, Jill moved a block away from Noah and half a year later her lease was up and she moved in with Noah. They have been in a relationship for 4 years now and are still going strong. The relationship feels easy and their blended family, which includes both of their kids, Jill's ex-husband and his new partner, gets along well and spend holidays together. And Jill started a new career as well, as one can when they have happy love! She is now a dedicated National Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach (NBHWC) and the founder of Jill Foos Wellness. She's helping women and look better at all ages, but especially during midlife.
I hope that you are inspired by Jill's story. She felt like her life was shattered, but she built it back up step by step and is now in a better place than ever.
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This week on the podcast, I have the absolute pleasure to interview Elizabeth Earnshaw, a renowned Gottman therapist and bestselling author (she has a new book coming out in September!) who is the owner of a thriving family and marriage therapy practice. She is known for her popular Instagram account @lizlistens and has been featured in the New York Times, USA Today, The Washington Post, and more.
Elizabeth and I delve into various crucial topics concerning relationships and stress management.
We talk about:What a healthy relationships is and what kind of stressors are faced by couples and singlesHow to recognize and address stress in relationships, both external (work, family) and internal (relationship dynamics)What "stress spillover" is in a relationshipThe significance of emotional regulation in conflict resolution and the importance of taking pauses during heated momentsThe 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse in relationshipsRecommended strategies like to de-escalate conflicts and regain composure before addressing issuesThe importance of early stress recognition to prevent conflicts from escalatingThe need for self-awareness in maintaining healthy communication
Elizabeth shares such valuable insights and this is a must listen if you want to focus on managing stress and fostering healthy communication in relationships.
Website: elizabethearnshaw.com
The Balancing Act | Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT | Substack
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This week, I welcome Natalie Lue to the Smart Dating Academy podcast. She is a boundaries and relationship coach and the creator of one of the longest running self-help blogs in the world, BaggageReclaim.com. Natalie helps people understand how their emotional baggage is interfering with their ability to live their lives happily and authentically.
We talk about:The impact emotional baggage has on relationshipsThe connection between emotional availability and people-pleasing behaviorThe significance of boundaries in personal growth and relationship dynamicsLearning to say no and setting healthy boundariesRecognizing and addressing emotional baggage to avoid repeating negative patterns in relationshipsPrioritizing self-respect, self-acceptance, and making decisions that align with one's true self to foster healthy and fulfilling relationships
This episode is a must listen if you would like to establish healthy boundaries and cultivate meaningful and genuine connections in romantic relationships AND personal relationships.Blog: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk
Website: www.natalielue.com
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This week, I'm so excited to introduce my friend and former client, Stacy Katz to the podcast. Stacy is a sought after mindset coach who helps women create more Relaxation and Power with her R.E.L.A.X Mindset Method. Her approach is rooted in real-world experience, making it both
relatable and actionable. She has over two decades of experience in mindset and peak performance. She has guided C-level executives and leadership teams inside some of the biggest global brands like HP, Verizon, Spotify and more.
In this episode Stacy and I explore how you are going to get more relaxed and more powerful in dating and in your entire life.
We talk about:The concept of limiting beliefs and how they affect our results in and out of the dating worldHow we can transform limiting beliefs and non-useful thinkingWhat it means to “listen for the gold” on a date and how it can create deeper connections and make others feel safe and supported in relationships.How Stacy became to focus on being Relaxed and PowerfulHow someone should begin the practice of developing compassionate self-forgiveness, especially if they’ve had tough dating experiencesHow focusing on internal alignment and being psychotically optimistic can positively impact dating and overall life experiencesStacy is offering a special gift to the listeners of The Smart Dating Academy podcast:
An Energy Audit to help you understand how different aspects of your daily life and routine either contribute to or deplete your energy levels. This is a key first step in creating your Relaxed and Powerful Life. Go to www.stacykatz.com to get your gift!
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I had the absolute pleasure to have a conversation with the amazing Vienna Pharaon about how breaking family patterns can liberate the way we live and love.
Vienna Pharaon is a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of New York City’s most sought after relationship therapists. She has practiced therapy for over fifteen years and is the founder and owner of the group practice, Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. She has been
featured in The Economist, Netflix, Vice, and Motherly, and has led workshops for Peloton and Netflix, amongst others. Her book "The Origins of You" is a National Bestseller.
We talk about:Why we adopt and adapt to family's beliefs and behaviorsThe difference between belonging and fitting inHow origin wounds, such as prioritization and belonging wounds, can impact relationships and the ability to trust others How we can heal from these origin wounds and break free from unwanted patternsWhy tolerating discomfort and taking risks are necessary for change and empowerment.You will learn so much from Vienna about the impact of attachment, authenticity, and family dynamics on relationships and how origin wounds can shape our behaviors and choices in relationships. This is a must listen if you want to heal and break free from unhealthy patterns and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Website: https://viennapharaon.com
Instagram: @mindfulmft
What is Your Origin Wound? Quiz: https://1wsm6geg69z.typeform.com/to/d981R7Cl
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Bela has a wonderful conversation with Relationship Maven Dr. Abby Medcalf. She is a psychologist, author, podcast host and TEDx speaker who has helped thousands of people think differently so they can create connection, ease and joy in their relationships (especially the one with yourself)!
With over 35 years of experience, Abby is a recognized authority and sought-after speaker at organizations such as Google, Apple, AT&T, Kaiser, PG&E, American Airlines and Chevron and she’s been a featured expert on CBS and ABC news, and has been a contributor to the New York Times, Women’s Health, Psychology Today, Well+Good and Bustle.
They talk about:The number one problem in relationships (and it's not what you think!)The importance of identifying and clarifying your own needs and standards in a relationshipWhat trust in a relationship is built on What boundaries should be based on how to communicate them EFFECTIVELYCollaborative questions can deepen understanding and connection in conversationsGiving others the benefit of the doubt and seeking clarification before making assumptions
This is a must listen if you want to gain invaluable insights and guidance to improve your relationship and create more fulfilling connections with your partner. Dr. Abby is truly a gem!
Website: https://abbymedcalf.com
Newly Released Book: Boundaries Made Easy; Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy
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This week we welcome Dr. Heidi Brocke to the podcast and you will LOVE the gems that she will drop on us! Dr. Heidi Brocke is a Toxic Relationship Awareness & Healing Specialist. After spending 14 years in an extremely emotionally and narcissistically abusive relationship she broke the chains and turned her past into her passion. She’s an international keynote speaker, recipient of Empowering Women in Business of The Year award by Inspiring Lives Magazine, and has been featured in both Forbes and Time Magazines for the dedication given to her clients and for her work in the toxic relationship area.
We talked about:Spotting a Toxic Relationship (and wait til you hear her 'unconventional' checklist)Trusting Your Gut (your internal alarm system!)Understanding Emotional Abuse (it can be very sneaky)Taking the Time to HealWhat to Do When Children are InvolvedSetting Boundaries and Prioritizing YOUReaching Out for SupportDr. Heidi wonderfully highlights the importance of recognizing and addressing toxic relationships. This is a must listen! Trust your instincts, take care of yourself, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. You’ve got this!
Website: www.coachingwithdrheidi.com
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This episode will take the mystery out of the BEST and most humane way to break up with someone that you've been dating for any extended amount of time, and is with Natalia Juarez. Natalia is a seasoned relationship coach specializing in heartbreak. Following a broken engagement at the age 29, she redefined heartbreak as an opportunity for transformation. In 2014, she started helping individuals in navigating romantic hardships and fostering healthy relationships.
We talk about:How one can be sure that breaking up is the right decisionHow to not blindside your partner with a breakupChoosing the right time and place to initiate a breakupIn what circumstances it would be appropriate to break up through a phone call or textStrategies to maintain firmness while also showing compassion during the breakup conversationSetting boundaries after a breakup to ensure both parties have space to healWhen it's appropriate to consider reestablishing contact after a breakup
Natalia's Website: Lovistics.com
Follow Natalia on IG: @thebreakupcoach
Free Breakup Scripts
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This week I welcome my esteemed colleague and great friend Jenny Stevens to the podcast. Jenny is a licensed clinical counselor turned personal/ professional/divorce coach. She is known as 'The Champion for Change' having gone through her own share of difficult life changes.
We talk about:How working with SDA has helped her find the lid to her potThe difficult changes that Jenny had to navigate to lead her to where she is nowHow to redesign your life in 3 simple steps The importance of mindset and breaking free of our limiting beliefsThe Top 5 mindset hacksHow to break free from perfection and overthinkingJenny will inspire you to not wait for a life changing event to create the life you want. You can do anything you set your mind to! Life is so short, don’t wait!
https://jennystevenscoach.com/
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This week we welcome the wonderful Kendra Allen to our podcast. Kendra is a breakup coach, host of the Heal Your Heartbreak Podcast, author of The Breakup Workbook, and founder of Break Up Bestie. She shares how she saw a huge gap online for practical and healthy heartbreak advice, after going through a series of painful breakups. So, she set out to fill it in.
We talk about:The first steps to take to get through the beginning of a breakup (and it starts with sharing your true feelings!)Why it's not good to numb away the breakupThe importance of the No Contact rule in healingHow moving on from a breakup is similar to the experience of getting soberKendra's stance on on-again, off-again relationshipsNavigating social media when it comes to your exPractical things people can do to help to heal from a breakupWhy routines are so important when going through a breakupYou will love this episode! Kendra is such a wealth of knowledge and you will learn so much about how to navigate this difficult time.
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This week on the podcast I chatted with the amazing Sharon Pope about the secrets to keeping a relationship healthy.Sharon Pope is a certified Master Life Coach and Relationship Expert helping women and men get the tools they need to improve, heal, or release their struggling marriages. She is a
seven-time international best-selling author and has appeared in numerous media outlets and online publications, including the “Modern Love” column of The New York Times.
We talked about:What led Sharon to become a certified Master Life Coach and Relationship ExpertHow we can become the best version of ourselves to attract and sustain the relationship we wantHow we can become more self-awareWhat Sharon learned during her divorce and how she met her new husbandThe one (most important) thing to look for in a partner (if you want a long term, committed, connected, loving relationship)Essential relationship tips before you say "I Do"Tragic mistakes that absolutely destroy a relationship and how to prevent themHow to start conversations of evolution in a relationship and what questions to ask your partner
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This conversation covers AMAZING gems, including:
--3 Myths About Men (these are awesome, and have to do with 'the chase', sex, and feelings)
--The differences between men's & women's brains (I about passed out when I learned this - it makes COMPLETE sense)
--The AWESOME four communication archetypes (are you a lioness, puppy, koala bear or scorpion)?
--How to get men to HEAR you (and it doesn't have to do with raising your voice)!
--What are some quick communication tips that women can use in challenging situations with men?
--How to get men or anyone to help you (it's called the 'appreciation' sandwich)
--The ONE simple daily practice to stay in balance
--How we can tell if our lives are OUT of alignment (and how that affects our dating lives)--Why 'going hard' is BAD for a relationship
--What 'coming from a place of love' can do to blossom your love for EVERYONE in your life.
Sandy Weiner, Bela's guest, is the founder of Last First Date, is a TEDx speaker, relationship coach, author and podcast host.
Sandy's communication archetype quiz is here: https://lastfirstdate.com/4-communication-archetypes/#sthash.HVO24czW.dpbs
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Megan's love story with Nick is wonderful, and you will hear yourself in her story. She wasn't comfortable around boys growing up, and started dating after college (side note, Bela and Megan were college friends who had lost touch for many years). Megan knew a few things: she knew she wanted lasting love, wasn't picking the right people, and that she wasn't getting the results she wanted. A college friend told Megan about Bela's Smart Dating Academy, and Megan enlisted their professional help because she knew that she wouldn't get different results doing the same things over and over again! In this episode, Megan tells her story of dating 'life of the party' guys, and how she cast her net wider to find the 'life of the party's best friend who's an accountant' type of guy :) She put her profile on a unique app that she mentions, and was VERY dubious when she received a “you have a match”message….she saw the guy and he looked good but you’ll hear why she almost didn’t message him back……You will relate to this and it shows why taking risks can sometimes be the best decisions you’ll ever make!
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This episode will blow your mind (no pun intended) - we are talking about using Psilocybin (mushrooms) in a regulated, facilitated environment to remove traumas! I welcome back the awesome Dr. Michelle Roberts as a guest on SDA. Michelle is a Pulitzer winning journalist, professor, and psychotherapist who specializes in working with women who have complex trauma disorders (or have experienced narcissistic abuse). In her work she helps women discover how past trauma influences their current relationships.
We talked about:What "eye movement desensitization and reprocessing" (EMDR) therapy isHow you can know if you might benefit from EMDRWhat psychedelic-assisted therapy is and how the outcomes are different from traditional therapyHow psilocybin therapy helps heal from relationship traumaThe safety nets that are in place for psilocybin therapy (you are not just popping acid!)Real-life stories about women who've gone through psilocybin therapy for their relationship issues and are now in healthy and happy relationshipsIf everyone can try psilocybin therapy to fix their pickerIf you are ready to 'pick" the right person, get on our VIP coaching program waitlist (we do exceptional 1:1 work, as you can hear in the dozens of "Love Story" episodes on this show)!
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Schedule your consultation with us here! We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you! https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela -
Smart Dating Academy client love stories are YOUR favorites (and ours too) - these stories are from people just like you who started our process with a healthy dose of excitement and nervousness! I am so excited to have Ruth tell you one of the most unique, awesome, and unexpected love stories in this week's podcast. Ruth is an amazing high level executive client who is full of life. After her beloved husband passed away years ago, Ruth felt like the rug was pulled from under her and she felt lost after this unexpected loss. Once she found her footing again, she decided to date casually, because finding a new partner wasn’t a priority.
Through her dating process, she realized that she now wanted someone wonderful and available. Understanding that her priorities had changed, she contacted Bela, after a friend told her about Smart Dating Academy. Ruth attended one of Bela’s workshops for C200 Professional Women, and after some back and forth decided to work with SDA to find love again. Ruth came to Chicago for her photoshoot and worked with Ilene on perfecting her profile and what characteristics Ruth is looking for in a partner by looking at the elevator people in her life.
After launching on the apps, Ruth looked through the responses and talked to a few people. But one stood out. His name is Tony and the caveat was that he was traveling back to his home country of Nigeria, which threw a curveball at Ruth. Nevertheless, Tony and Ruth talked on the phone and on FaceTime every day for over 4 months, before they met for the first time in person. Tony kept splitting his time between the US and Nigeria and they kept their relationship going. Ruth loves Tony’s integrity and knows that she has found the lid to her pot. Ruth and Tony have lots of plans for the future.
Ruth's story is an inspiration that no matter where you are on your journey or in your career and no matter your age, love can come to you in an unexpected package with the right guidance and love coaches!
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I am excited to have Wendy Sloane as my guest.
Wendy is a former TV producer for The Phil Donahue Show and The Geraldo Rivera Show. During her career in broadcasting, she covered some of the biggest news stories of our time, including the O.J. Simpson and JonBenet Ramsey murders. She was also the host of the popular radio show "What's Up with Wendy" and started her popular podcast "Divorce Doesn't Suck" during Covid - about new perspectives and how to move forward and focus on the future and take the chance to restart with a blank new canvas.
We talked about:Her career as a TV producer and what led her to change her careerHow her divorce led her to start her podcastWhat she knows now that she wish she knew then about divorceHow dating looked like for her as a single momHer experience with long distance dating (there were alot of FaceTime dates!)The process of smart datingThe Golden Bachelor ShowListen up if you are a single man or woman dating at any time! Our conversation about Wendy's ideal man turned into a mini-coaching session about how to be a smart dater! So many great takeaways (and most things apply to women of all ages!). You don't want to miss this episode!
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Get ready to dive deep into the world of hormones with the charismatic Dr. Anna Cabeca! She is known nationally as The Girlfriend Doctor and is host of The Girlfriend Doctor Show. Dr. Anna is triple-board certified and a fellow of gynecology and obstetrics, integrative medicine, and anti-aging and regenerative medicine.
From testosterone to estrogen, progesterone to dopamine, each hormone has its own unique influence on our emotions and behaviors towards our partner.
In this episode, we will dive deep into the mysterious interplay between oxytocin and cortisol, and how it affects your romantic relationships, friendships, interpersonal dynamics, and overall well-being. She explains how the 'love hormone', oxytocin, can breathe life into your relationship, and grab practical tips to boost your oxytocin levels naturally through diet. We also talk about the secret behind the ebb and flow of intimacy as she demystifies the fascinating hormonal changes over time.
It's time to get intimate with your hormones, get enlightened, and spice up your life!
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I couldn't be more excited to have a conversation with the fabulous Tamsen Fadal - I met Tamsen while doing dozens of love segments on her TV Show in NYC on PIX11. Tamsen is an award-winning journalist (she won 13 Emmy awards!), speaker, author, podcast host and menopause advocate. She is dedicated to championing women’s stories being bold in midlife and beyond and shares advice and education on menopause, relationships, divorce and career so that women do not feel alone during this stage in their lives.
We talk about:Starting a matchmaking business before dating apps existed and what she learned from thatTamsen's experience with divorce and dating after divorceHow she met her 2nd husband and how she knew he was the one (and she didn't think she would ever remarry!)Advice on dating and meeting the one in midlifeWhat an "easy relationship" REALLY meansThe moment that made her become a menopause advocateTamsen's advice on taking the action to lead a fulfilling lifeMake-up tips (check out her IG for more amazing tips)
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This week we are bringing to you your favorite kind of episode: another love story from one of our dear clients who will inspire you with her self-awareness, action, and authenticity at a young age. Bianca is a 36-year-old Chemist who lives in Ontario, Canada. Bianca describes herself as a late bloomer and an introverted, independent woman by nature. By her mid-twenties nearly everyone she knew was married and often to the only person they had ever dated. Bianca was puzzled on how this worked for them, but not for her.
After several unsuccessful relationships, Bianca still couldn’t analyze what had specifically gone wrong. One day, she saw Bela on the Steve Harvey Show and on Good Morning America and got in touch with Smart Dating Academy. Through coaching and devoutly following the advice from Bela and Lindsay, she realized that she had so many false beliefs that were holding her back. Bianca soaked everything up during her sessions, got more confident in dating, AND adopted the mindset of being psychotically optimistic in her entire life.
At the start of 2021, Bianca met Derek online and after their first date she thought that she would not hear back from him. But she did! They went on a second date and many more to follow. Bianca got to know him more and more and Bianca realized that he is the lid to her pot. Bianca and Derek got married last year in 2023 and couldn’t be happier to be real partners in life. She is absolutely adorable, and you will hear your own story in hers.
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