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We all know the stereotypes about the eldest child, the youngest and the only child, but the middle child often seems to be left out, and not just from our conversations on birth order theory, but also seemingly from the family sometimes. In today's episode, we putting a spotlight on the middle children, including how their position in the family makes them so agreeable, why they often become the conflict mediators, and how this can build resentment later in life.
We also discuss why middle children feel so unseen, but also are the most independent, how they behave in friendships, relationships, in the workplace, and what happens when there are multiple middle children, as well as how to reparent your middle child. Listen now!
PREORDER MY BOOK: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/755841/person-in-progress-by-jemma-sbeg/
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: [email protected]
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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The idea of a 'soft life' originated from a group of Nigerian influencers who chose the term to describe a way of living that was comfortable, joyful, minimised stress whilst prioritised self care and simple beauty, in comparison to hustle culture, burnout and urgency. In today's episode we are going to go through 5 practical tips to make this gentle life your reality, including:
The 'Picture This' exercise The new way to approach your To Do list How to organically regulate your nervous system Creation over consumption Rethinking our ideas for successI also have a special announcement at the beginning of the episode! Thank you again for all the support.
Preorder my book here: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/755841/person-in-progress-by-jemma-sbeg/
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Your hobbies may be just as important as your friendships in your 20s. But whilst you may dedicate 10-15 hours a week to your friends, most of us can go a week or two without actually performing our hobbies. Why is that, and what is the consequence?In today's episode we break down the psychology of why our hobbies are so important, including:
The debate around what makes a hobby How many hobbies do you actually need? How much time should you spend doing your hobbies? The Rule of Four for hobbies The psychological benefits The 3 major reasons we struggle to perform our hobbies How to find time, inspiration and motivation for your hobbies, and moreListen now if you want to make more of your leisure time!
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Daydreaming can be a perfectly normal part of life - zoning out in the shower, before we fall asleep, on the train to work. But some of us cross over into dangerous territory or what we call maladaptive daydreaming where we can't pull ourselves away from the fantasy. We feel disconnected and it makes our real life feel so much less bright and enjoyable. It can cause us a lot of distress and distraction. Why is that? And why can't we stop ourselves? In today's episode, we break down:
What makes daydreaming 'maladaptive' or 'excessive' What are the signs + the 16 item scale for maladaptive daydreaming The impact on our emotional health Maladaptive daydreaming and creativity Maladaptive daydreaming, trauma, anxiety and OCD Is daydreaming a form of escapism? How to turn daydreaming into intentional visualisationThank you to our listeners who contributed their perspective. Happy listening!
The 16 item scale here: https://traumadissociation.com/mds
The Reddit help group: https://www.reddit.com/r/MaladaptiveDreaming/
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Sometimes the loudest critic, our biggest hater is not someone we know, it is ourselves. We are the ones who are the first to judge ourselves, to shut ourselves and our ambitions down, to say the nastiest things. In today's episode we break down why we are our own worst critic, including:
How we learn self criticism in childhood The evolutionary component to criticism The role of the super ego The role of comparison Why no one is really looking at your that closely How to embrace radical self compassion and acceptance How to use cognitive diffusion, and much moreThis episode is a rerun whilst Jemma is recovering from an illness. We will be back on Friday with a brand new episode.
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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In our 20s it can feel like a mad rush to find the one. If you are single and dating, you know the experience of going on what seems like dozens of dates only to be disappointed and, at the end of the day, exhausted and yet you still haven't found someone. In this episode, we discuss why that is including:
The signs your experiencing dating burnout What dating burnout and traditional burnout have in common The role of swipe based dating apps Why this occurs and the emotional impact The psychology of a 'dating detox' How to have FUN when dating and how to overcome dating burnoutListen now if nothing seems to be working when it comes too feeling frustrated and exhausted when it comes to dating in your 20s.
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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At some stage in our 20s, all of us will experience what I call 'The Loneliest Chapter' - a period where we feel detached, disconnected and isolated. Whilst this experience can feel terrible and make us question our relationships, friendships and selves, it's an important rite of passage and actually ends up teaching us a lot. In today's episode we discuss:
What is the 'lonely' chapter of our 20s? My personal journey with loneliness What are some signs you may be in it, right now? Why does this occur? What creates this period? How can we learn to tolerate and enjoy solitude? What are the benefits of loneliness? How can we make new friends and feel like we belong?All of that, and more...
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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What is the cost of caring too much for others? Always being the person to fix everyone's problems? Never needing anyone, but secretly loving that everyone else relies on you? Well, it turns out it can cost you and your relationships a lot, and may also be a sign of high functioning codependency. High functioning codependency is much more common amongst people who are overachieving, overgiving and who have few boundaries (even if they don't know it).
In today's episode, we are joined by the originator of this term. Terri Cole is a psychotherapist and boundary expert who has been investigating this phenomena for years in her high functioning and highly successful clients. She shares the traits, behaviours, costs and ways to improve your high functioning codependency. This was one of my favourite episodes to date, happy listening!
Buy Terri's new book here: https://www.soundstrue.com/products/too-much?srsltid=AfmBOor1-0MHrQayS-ZdUANvTC5qC-T4e1Bpxotu8cti1CqOVVizKO17
Follow Terri here: @terricole
Terri's resources: https://www.terricole.com/
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Shame follows us everywhere. So many of us are bound by shame about our past, our mistakes, our identity, our looks, our decisions and choices. This can make living a meaningful and fulfilling life incredibly difficult when you have your own personal, shame bully following you everywhere. In todays episode we learn:
How shame gets implanted in us The links between shame and trauma Shame vs. guilt How shame manifests in hidden ways What a life without shame could look like? How to release shame by communicating with your inner child How to shut down shame spirals My own personal story of body shamingListen now! I hope this releases you from the heavy burden of shame.
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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At some stage in our 20s we'll have to make a life changing decision where the right choice is not at all clear: stay or leave my job, the country, my relationships? We can become paralysed in that moment, unable to take a step forward, not realising that doing nothing is, in itself, a decision. In today's episode we break down:
Why we struggle to make hard decisions The paradox of choice Indecisiveness and a lack of self trust The 'Wisest Self' thought exercise The 10/10/10 rule for making hard decisions The role of regret and fearListen now if you're struggling with some hard choices in your 20s!
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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The right person at the wrong time might be one of the saddest kinds of love stories we come across. This person may be perfect for us, our dream partner, but factors like distance, life, obligations, emotional readiness get in the way and mean that we can't be together. Despite knowing we can't be together, we can't let go and pine after this person, wondering what we could have done differently. Or is right person, wrong time, actually just a myth? Is there ever such a thing as the 'wrong time' for our soulmate? In this episode we discuss:
The obstacles that keep people apart The psychology of 'right person, wrong time' The cognitive biases that keep us attached to someone Why we feel more bonded with some people over others Why 'right person, wrong time' may be a myth How to get over this person you can't stop thinking aboutListen now!
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Let's talk about what's been going on with my mental health recently and what's changed. This is a rather vulnerable episode so please check in with yourself before listening.
Lifeline (AUS): 13 11 14
National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (US): 988
Samaritans (UK): 116 123
Mental health resources (worldwide): https://www.helpguide.org/find-help
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Work makes up a large component of our lives. It's estimated that 1/3 of our waking lives will be spent working, so when that environment is toxic or harmful, it takes it's toll. Especially in our 20s, a toxic workplace can be quite a negative, formative experience and leave us with poor confidence, imposter syndrome and chronic burnout. In today's episode we discuss the psychological impact of bad jobs, including:
The burnout cycle Psychological enmeshment with a workplace Long term impact on self esteem and future employment Tips for surviving a toxic workplace Tips on how to thrive afterwards, despite the traumaI also share my own lived experience with a toxic workplace and what I wish I'd known before. Listen now!
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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When someone criticises us we naturally feel on edge and defensive. This is because criticism threatens our ego and our sense of self and so we have a very emotional reaction. But that doesn't have to be the case. In today's episode, we break down:
What makes us so sensitive to criticism Hypercritical parenting and an aversion to feedback Rejection sensitivity and criticism The differences between criticism and feedback How to properly approach criticism When the criticism isn't worth your timeAll of that and more as we unpack the psychology behind criticism. Listen now!
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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If nothing else, our 20s are a time for reinvention and transformation. We become clearer and clearer about the version of us we want to be, and hopefully more confident around expressing our authentic elves, but sometimes this is interrupted by periods of boredom, stagnation, isolation and discomfort. These are all signs that something in our lives needs to change, and it needs to change now. In today's episode we break down five ways to reinvent yourself during your 20s, including:
Theory of opposites Visualisation and choosing the 'theme' for your next era The timeline for change The power of risk + microrisks Changing 'what if' thinking into 'what else' or 'so what?' + moreListen now when you're ready for transformation.
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Flirting! Usually thought of as something used to express romantic or physical interest may actually be the secret to unlocking more connections than you can ever imagine: platonic and romantic. In today's episode we break down the psychology of flirting, including how to gain confidence in your flirting ability, the flirt languages or styles, why flirting is all about connection and low expectations and, of course, how to bring back flirting into a long term relationship.
We are joined by the Flirt Coach, Benjamin Camras, to be the expert on this episode. Benjamin has been a flirt coach for thousands, runs his own podcast on flirting, called Flirtations, and gives us his best tips and tricks for embracing the power of the 'flirt'. Listen now!
Follow Benjamin here: @benjamincamras
Listen to Flirtations here: https://open.spotify.com/show/3Ti023cM762SVaQOZrdWlv?si=4ab574c92b5f4339
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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We all get anxious at times, but what we forget in those moments is that anxiety is just there to protect us, it's trying to do its job, and the more we lean in and play along, the more we start to feel in control again. In today's episode, we break down the four ways I've made my anxiety work for me, including:
Turning anxiety into excitement The certainities list method The personification method Channeling anxious energy into creative energy + moreIf you're someone who struggles with ongoing anxiety, this episode will hopefully provide you with a new perspective, or at least a refresher on what we do know about the way anxiety effects us. Listen now!
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business enquiries: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Limerance - the state of having undeniable feelings for someone who does not feel the same way - feels so much like love but can be so confusing, because deep down we know this person is probably not the one. Despite that we find it impossible to move on, impossible to disconnect or detach despite our best efforts because our affections for this person feel so permanently wired into our brain. Today we talk about why that may be, including:
The first ever studies into limerance The 4 stages of limerance The addictive explanation for limerance Limerance, attachment style, fantasy and ADHD What the long term emotional impacts of limerance are How to recover + 4 tips for moving onListen now!
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business enquiries: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Our attention is constantly being pulled in every direction: we're thinking about the past, overthinking the future, getting notifications from our phones, information from our environment. When was the last time you truly slowed down and enjoyed the present? When was the last time you savoured the moment like you do a nice meal, or a sleep in? Today we are discussing the power of mindfulness, and the power of staying present, including:
The three biggest enemies to staying present The psychology of disassocation The psychological benefits of living in the moment What the world's biggest happiness study says about staying present The 3x3x3 mindfulness method Embracing your 'romance' moments, and moreListen now to learn about the art of noticing, staying present, and feeling life fully.
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business enquiries: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Money is as much psychological and emotional as it is a physical resource. For that reason, sometimes money and our mental health don't always mix. Many people think that we only experience financial anxiety or financial stress when we are struggling with money, but it turns out that it's a lot more complicated than that. In today's episode, we break down the interactions between our psychology and our mental health, including:
The difference between objective and subjective financial stress The long term impacts of worrying about money Why this generation is more concerned with money than ever before Our 9 money languages or archetypes and how to identify yours How to manage financial stress in your 20s How to override your financial impulses and poor money decisionsAll of that and so much more! Listen now.
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business enquiries: [email protected]
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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