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When does this thing called ‘convalescence’ begin and is it different from ‘recovery’?
Recently I’ve been introduced to the concept of convalescence and introduced to it in a very personal way.
As a therapist I perhaps should be prepared for developing cancer. Well, I was and I wasn’t!
This is my story which I hope helps you tell yours or helps you to understand someone else's. -
I’ve been asked to talk about how to begin psychotherapy.
How to prepare for that first session.
So here are my seven tips to starting psychotherapy.
Well, first of all congratulations on wanting to start psychotherapy.
It’s a big step and yet many people never make it to talk with a therapist and so continue to live with what’s familiar however uncomfortable that might be.
It’s important to say that just as clients are individuals so are therapists and each will have their own way of starting therapy with you. I’m resisting the urge to give in to today’s selling culture by saying these are the
The 7 must haves or
The 7 steps or
The 7 rules
However, after 25 years of working as a psychotherapist here are my tips about how you can prepare for that first session.
You may have them in a different order or you may have others, but here’s a summary with some personal statements that may also be of help:
Want – I’m as clear as I can be.
Cost – I believe therapy is worth it.
Time – I’m willing to commit
Honesty – I’ll tell my truth
Safety – I’m going to be held through this process
Changes – I’m willing to behave/think in new and different ways
Resource – I’ll make the most of my time with the therapist
I wish you the best of health.
Martin Weaver
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Written by Robert Burns in 1788 Auld Lang Syne has been used by many as a way to remind people to remember. It translates as: “old long since” and in English that means something like to “times gone by.”
At this time of year when the decorations, the cards and the tree get put away, I can now understand that the song is a means of connecting us with the positive and happy people and times in the past.
I wish you, your family and friends the best Happy New Year...
Martin Weaver
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My professional organisation, the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy - UKCP for short, has been running a podcast call 'My Psychotherapy Career'. In this podcast series members of the UKCP talk about how they became a psychotherapist and various other questions about working in their particular field.
I took part in this podcast in the summer of 2022 talking particularly about my work at the Terrence Higgins Trust in the early 1980s and at the July 7th Assistance Centre which was set up to help the survivors, bereaved and first responders of the 2005 London bombings. Around these events I talk about my learning to train and work as a psychotherapist, my philosophy as well as my relationship to the UKCP as an organisation.
The UKCP podcast runs for about 30 minutes which is an edited version of a conversation that lasts around an hour. I asked the UKCP for the audio recording of the full hour and that's what is presented here. There were some topics that had to be edited out of the UKCP version because of time and yet I wanted these thoughts and ideas to be presented.
You can hear the short version here:
https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/podcasts/my-psychotherapy-career-therapeutic-support-in-times-of-a-crisis/
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In this Podcast I review another podcast I presented in 2010 when I came to the realisation that I was at an age my father never reached. I outlived my father.
We all live our lives in relation to other's and perhaps it's our parents who give us the most important reflections and guidance as to who we are. When one or other parent dies we have the chance to reflect on our own lives, who we have become and who we still yet want to become.
You can read a version of this Podcast on my blog here: https://www.lifetidetraining.co.uk/single-post/2015/09/03/today-i-outlive-my-father
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In this episode I'm joined again by Ike Odina.
Questions, questions, questions:
How can we define what we do in our role? How objective can we be and should we be? Can we stay connected to a client and remain 'objective'? Where does 'the truth' fit in to our willingness to accept and understand?We talk over these issues and offer some of our insights gained from our knowledge and experiences.
Beginning with refugees and their journey to our country we look at how we work with people in this situation and wonder, are we here to 'fix'?
We discuss and share ideas about what we might want to do, compared what we can actually do and faced with the uncertainty and the unknowns that develop over the length of the therapeutic relationship, what is our responsibility and how do we measure that? Where and how does the scientific method help us in our exploration and description of our work, if it does?
In our work with our clients, we suggest, we offer perspectives and choices and maybe these come from and reinforce our biases. Through the issues of risk, investment and trust we explore how we can become 'better' educators and therefore more effective therapists.
We don't claim to present simple solutions but hope that our discussion will enlighten clients as to some of the issues that we struggle with and help both trainee and experienced psychotherapists alike consider their own views and beliefs on these issues.
How do you answer the question: Psychotherapy - What is our job?
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Welcome to Series 2
It's January 2022 and I thought I'd begin this new series attempting to answer the question about my journey to working as a psychotherapist.
In this episode I reflect on a some personal experiences and events in my life that to a greater or lesser extent focused me or directed me to working as a psychotherapist. I've chosen to illustrate my journey with a recording of a presentation I gave at an AIDS conference in 1985. Towards the end of this presentation I rolled together experiences of several different clients and presented them as brief individual case studies. I think it gives you an indication here of me wanting to respond directly and practically to people’s personal situations that opened the way for me to think and prepare working as a psychotherapist.
After the presentation I give some reflections on how those times affect my psychotherapeutic practice today and a suggestion for therapists' in training.
Happy New Year....
You can view the video of this conference presentation in my AIDS Archive on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/7-VkI8qok_s
You can read more about my experiences during the AIDS crisis and how they shaped my work in this short Blog at the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy web site: https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/news/40-years-of-hiv-aids-in-the-uk/
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In this Podcast we talk about how we move from one idea or way of being to another. That change can be cultural, environmental and personal - a beginning and an end to our story. How do we identify changes within us in our felt experience and then return to them as memories? Why do we do what we do as individuals or communities? We think about being supported by transitions defined by others. Can we feel and think at the same time or do we miss transitions because we are deep in the felt experience.
Finally we explore how we might transition with these podcasts; to continue as we have, change the style or format or maybe it's time to move on and do something different. What happens when a partnership transitions?
What might be next?...............
You can watch a video of this Podcast on You Tube: https://youtu.be/4xDJgamGQQo
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In this Podcast we look back at our previous work.
Rather like in therapy we take stock of what has happened both in our therapy with our clients and in the wider world and how we have made sense of where we have come.
This is the first Podcast that we have filmed.
You can see us making this podcast now on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/JOqYMfyEOMc
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In this Podcast we begin by exploring some the history of telecommunications and those parts that have directly led to the internet and social media as we experience them today. We talk about how we manage our communications, the successes and the pitfalls of this new way of interacting. Along the way we reveal what works and what doesn't as well what we like and don't like. We offer some strategies and perspectives that we hope will help you navigate around social media.
We end by offering advice from GapMinder and the work of Hans Rosling with a guide to the 10 things you need to be aware of we believe, when using social media.
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In this podcast we explore how we develop our roles as we engage with those around us. We explore how our past can influence how we present ourselves and those around us, how do we know ourselves? We think about the differences between behaviours and identities. In this way is there anything that isn't 'relational' - everything is in relation to everything else? How do we choose between directing a conversation and being 'non-directive'? We explore how couples, families, groups and tribes develop ways of relating - thinking and feeling - together that is both helpful and unhelpful.
Roles and expectations are explored and the concept of the usefulness of 'truthfulness' and authenticity within a relationship. We talk about the effect of language and how this can distort the real meaning of what we intend to say. What happens when a relationship comes to an end and how does a new relationship, with the same person or someone else, develop differently into the future.
Finally we think about our own dependency and how usefully, or not, this plays out. How does this express itself in the changing process of psychotherapy? We talk about structure and a space that is agreed with honesty and humour.
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This podcast was recorded on November 20th 2020.
It was this day that Prime Minster Johnson supported his Home Secretary against accusations that she bullied her staff. This generated thoughts and ideas for us about; the Ministerial Code and its implementation, how do we define bullying, when have we been bullied and even perhaps how we might have bullied others.
We explore how our clients experience bullying and what our role is as therapists given the unique space and time that we have in the therapeutic relationship to explore the context, pressures and roles that we all play at different times.
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In this podcast we cast ourselves onto the high seas of debate about how our profession is regulated and how people, patients and clients, make sense of what it is that we actually do. We skirt around which style of therapy might be better than another and discuss more about meaning of the words that we use and the interventions that we might choose.
We hope to bring some clarity and pose some questions and wonder if it matters what terms we actually use when it's what happens in the therapeutic relationship that really makes the difference.
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In this podcast we look at bringing the topic of loneliness into therapy. We talk about the effect of sharing and revealing issues and how secrets might hold a key to the experience of loneliness. We talk about the fear of something 'sinister' that might lurk in the background of ur loneliness and how having the conversation we believed we couldn't have releases this fear and maybe even allows something else to emerge.
We talk about the experience of grief and loss and the different kinds of loneliness these can create. We discuss the staying with the sensations of discomfort without negative judgment and allowing change to happen in a natural and personal way. We end by talking about connecting and re-connecting and the risks that are involved.
Here is link to Nicholas' blog post: https://www.nicholas-rose.co.uk/counselling-psychotherapy-and-psychology-blog/feeling-lonely-this-week-is-loneliness-awareness-week-2020
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In this podcast we explore what is meant by - 'boundaries'. How do we identify and interpret them? In the therapeutic context what happens when they are challenged or violated?
Some boundaries are outside the context of therapy and yet still influence and even control the therapeutic content and process and yet others are out of conscious awareness and only make themselves known when they are crossed.
How do we manage the obvious boundaries that dictate the practical aspects of therapeutic work, set about negotiating them as the relationship changes and choose to shift them by taking risks that might rupture a boundary all in the name of growth, learning and change?
In the final analysis how do we match our ethical practice with boundaries that hold both us and client safely and yet allow change to happen?
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In this podcast, we are joined by Ike Odina and together we attempt to tackle race, culture and our professional practice. Ike brings his experience of being a British Citizen of Nigerian descent in a Euro-centric profession.
We address a few stereotypical perceptions as well as the effects of history on current social norms and values. We look at our institutional, organisational and individual responsibilities with regard to the improvement of our current social state of affairs.
As psychotherapeutic practitioners, we explore how our role in addressing cultural differences and social inequalities is becoming even more apparent, as we continue to provide appropriate safe spaces for people to reflect upon their life stories in relation to others and thus seek to making way for a society where authenticity paves the way to progress.
We identify that our Institutions have no clear leadership and that despite having information not available to Government we remain inconsequential to them.
Our podcast points to some possible reasons for where we are today and more helpfully suggests a direction of travel for the future.
Do feel free to leave your comments at the anchor.fm/martin-nicholas web site or via email at [email protected]
You can read our professional backgrounds here:
Ike Odina
Nicholas Rose
Martin Weaver
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In this episode we talk about; our reactions to the Government Alert Levels; how as therapists we are responding to change, how we structure our work in this new world, our sense of trust 'authorities' and in the information that we are presented with and how we feel and act around the wearing of masks. Finally we reflect on the both the speed and the quality of information that feels as though it is simply being thrown our way.
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In this podcast we talk about politics, being political and the concerns of being seen as 'Party Political'.
How should therapists engage with the world of politics and how do we bring our skills of assessment and observation to the issues of the day; Black Lives Matter, the Coronavirus Pandemic and even (say it quietly) Brexit?
You can read the UKCP's statement on Racial Injustice here: https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/ukcp-news/midweek-mindset/ukcp-statement-racial-injustice/
You can read Anthea Benjamin's article here: https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/blog/the-therapy-community-must-commit-to-anti-racist-practice/
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In this Podcast we talk about the endings of therapy. The decision or recognition that therapy has come to an end can be uncomfortable for client and therapist alike. To prepare for this possible discomfort there needs to be an acceptance from the start, or somewhere close to it, that the relationship is a time-limited one.
We explore both the preparation and the conclusion on therapy and how it effects both client or patient and therapist alike.
You can read a blog post on this subject that Martin wrote for the UKCP here.
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This is our first podcast and so we introduce ourselves and talk widely about our histories and philosophies of psychotherapy. We both work in different ways and yet there is much that we have in common. Over the coming episodes no doubt we'll settle down and cover specific issues and topics.
In the meantime do join us on our journey of discovery and exploration, argument and challenge and we hope that you will find things for you to agree with, maybe disagree with and hopefully answer some of your questions along the way.
We look forward to your company.
