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A person seeks advice from the Agony Aunties about dealing with a husband who regularly expresses frustration, anger, and suicidal threats, which affects the whole family. They emphasise understanding one's own limits and seeking support, discussing concepts like codependency and the importance of self-care. They suggest looking into resources like support groups, while maintaining open communication with the children and considering the impact on their well-being. They recommend resources such as CoDA.org and the book 'Codependent No More' by Melody Beattie, while also addressing the complexities of maintaining relationships amidst conflict.
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In this deeply moving episode, Zoe opens up about her journey following the imprisonment of her ex-husband, sentenced to nine years. She candidly shares how this life-altering event has impacted her and her two children, as they navigate the emotional turbulence, grief, and stigma that accompany such a profound upheaval.
Zoe reflects on her children’s varied emotional responses, her personal challenges in setting boundaries, and the toll on her mental health. She also explores her complicated feelings towards her ex-husband and the difficulties of maintaining connections through the prison system.
Throughout the conversation, Zoe emphasises the crucial role of support systems—therapy, faith, and structured routines—in finding stability amidst chaos. Julia also highlights the importance of allowing space for joy and fun, even in the most stressful times, as part of the journey toward healing.
This conversation offers a deep exploration of multi-dimensional grief, the need to adapt to new ways of living, and the powerful resilience required to rebuild and move forward.
Support Resources:
Children Heard and Seen
Sesame Street - Little Kids, Big Challenges
Storybook Dads
Barnardo's
If you’d like to connect, follow me on Instagram @juliasamuelmbe. And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk.
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In this episode, the Agony Aunties respond to a parent’s question on supporting their child through the grief of not having friendships and dealing with the discrepancy between parental expectations and reality. They discuss the emotional difficulties parents face when their children struggle socially, the importance of acknowledging and validating both the parent's and child's feelings, and practical strategies to help the child find social connections. They emphasise the significance of resilience, finding alternative environments for belonging, and role modelling healthy relationships within the family.
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In this heartwarming episode, Sophie Ellis-Bextor opens up about her diverse roles as a musician, songwriter, podcaster, and mother of five boys. She delves into how music has been a constant, deeply personal passion since childhood, likening its impact to a time portal connecting her with her past selves. The conversation explores her early career highs and lows, her pragmatic and resilient approach to life's challenges, and the importance she places on family and close relationships. Sophie also reflects on how motherhood has influenced her work and vice versa, her structured approach to juggling professional and personal life, and her recent experiences rejuvenating her music career. Sophie also discusses the importance of surrounding oneself with good people, and the wisdom she's gained along the way. Don't miss this candid conversation filled with honesty, joy, and inspiration.
00:35 The Power of Music
03:52 Facing Challenges and Overcoming Adversity
05:32 Early Career and Lessons Learned
07:46 Family Life and Parenting
12:04 Balancing Fame and Core Values
15:18 Navigating Work and Motherhood
21:19 Unexpected Success and Future Plans
23:45 Unpredictable Work and Family Life
24:27 School Closures and Bedroom Changes
25:15 Managing Parental Expectations
25:39 A Call from Elton John
26:45 Balancing Work and Family
27:53 The Joy of Performing
32:41 The Challenge of Engaging Crowds
36:17 Maintaining Perspective and Humility
39:46 The Importance of Friendships
41:02 Wisdom and Reflections
Find Sophie:
Instagram: @sophieellisbextor
Podcast: You can listen to her podcast, Spinning Plates, where she interviews inspiring women about balancing work and family on platforms like Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
Music: Stream her music on Spotify and YouTube.
If you’d like to connect, follow me on Instagram @juliasamuelmbe. And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk.
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A listener inquires about reclaiming their sexual self after dedicated years as a single parent of adopted children. The Agony Aunties provide reassuring advice, emphasising that it is never too late. They recommend starting with self-exploration, grieving past losses, and giving oneself permission to pursue sexual pleasure. Several resources are suggested, including the Savage Love cast and books like 'Come As You Are' by Dr. Emily Nogoski and 'Naked at Our Age' by Joan Price. They also suggest engaging in activities that stimulate erotic energy and emphasise self-worth.
Link to Maya Angelou's poem 'Phenomenal Woman’: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48985/phenomenal-woman
If you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips. Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk.
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In this heartfelt episode, psychotherapist Jenny Gibbs shares her deeply personal story of a life-changing accident just months before her wedding. She recounts her experiences with pain, both physical and psychological, and describes the long journey towards accepting her new reality. Jenny talks about the support systems that helped her, including her work as a therapist, her family, and a significant therapeutic somatic experience. She also reflects on the impact of her accident on her personal relationships and career, ultimately finding meaning and acceptance in her changed circumstances.
01:19 The Life-Changing Accident
03:13 Coping with Disfigurement and Isolation
06:25 The Journey to Acceptance
08:36 The Role of Therapy and Support
10:13 Reflections on Relationships and Identity
13:34 The Healing Process and Moving Forward
20:24 Lessons Learned and Future Outlook
32:42 Embracing Imperfections and Finding Beauty
33:28 The Power of Connection and Loneliness
35:12 Navigating Trauma and Personal Growth
42:16 The Role of Therapy and Emotional Release
45:03 The Impact of Compliments and Praise
48:56 Coping with Public Spaces and Vulnerability
58:32 Reflections on Personal Change and Relationships
01:06:33 The Importance of Acceptance and Moving Forward
If you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips. Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at
betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self.
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A mother seeks advice from the Agony Aunties on whether to tell her 11-year-old daughter about the father's infidelity, which led to their separation. The Agony Aunties recommend that all children should know the same truth to avoid feelings of exclusion and stress. They suggest that the father might take responsibility for explaining his actions, which can be a healing opportunity. The response emphasises the importance of family transparency, co-parenting, and creating a unified, age-appropriate narrative to maintain healthy relationships and trust within the family.
Additional Resources:
"Parents Who Cheat: How Children and Adults are Affected When Their Parents Are Unfaithful" by Ana Nogales: https://amzn.eu/d/aUbg90h
This work extensively explores the impact of parental infidelity on children, including their future relationship dynamics.
"The Impact of Infidelity on Children's Psychological Development": https://www.researchgate.net/publication/373345867_The_Impact_of_Infidelity_on_Children's_Psychological_Development
Listen to Where Shall We Begin? with Esther Perel: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/where-should-we-begin-with-esther-perel/id1237931798
Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk.
Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply.
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In this episode of Hurt to Healing, Julia welcomes author and journalist Sathnam Sanghera for an insightful discussion on mental health, cultural identity, and navigating personal success. Together, they confront the stigma surrounding severe mental illness, highlighting the importance of open conversation and emotional resilience. Sathnam shares his experience balancing the complexities of his cultural heritage with personal identity, offering a candid look at the psychological challenges of reconciling different parts of oneself, especially in high-achieving environments like Cambridge University.
They explore the intricate dance between cultural expectations, family dynamics, and the pressures of shifting social classes. With reflections on parental love, protection, and cultural loyalty, Sathnam and Julia delve into the nuanced journey of identity, belonging, and self-discovery. This compelling episode tackles the intersections of mental health, heritage, and the ever-evolving quest for a sense of home and purpose.
Find Sathnam:
Website: https://www.sathnam.com/
Instagram: @sathnamsanghera
Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips. Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk.
Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply.
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A concerned parent expresses guilt and regret over their parenting impact on their teenagers and seeks advice on repairing damaged relationships. The discussion covers the importance of acknowledging past mistakes, seeking forgiveness, and making meaningful changes. It emphasises the significance of personal therapy for self-awareness, validating children's experiences, and maintaining ongoing, honest conversations. A key point is distinguishing between seeking forgiveness from children and forgiving oneself to heal. The conversation highlights the potential for positive transformation and the importance of supportive frameworks like therapy.
Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk.
Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply.
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In this moving episode of the Therapy Works podcast, Lotte Bowser shares her heart-wrenching journey of losing her partner Ben to cancer and COVID-19 complications. She discusses the profound challenges of grief, the impact of his illness and death on her life, and the arduous process of rebuilding her life anew. Lottie reflects on various therapeutic practices, including writing and journalling, which helped her process pain and find a semblance of resolution. The conversation delves into the physical nature of grief, radical self-compassion, and the complexities of starting a new relationship while mourning. Lottie opens up about societal pressures surrounding grief, the duality of life balancing grief and joy, and reentering the dating world. She emphasises the importance of community support, the interplay of sex and death, and the need for sensitivity and understanding from others. This episode offers listeners insights into the enduring nature of grief and the resilience required to embrace new beginnings.
00:35 Facing the Greatest Challenge: Loss of a Partner
03:39 Coping with Grief and Finding Joy
06:22 Rebuilding Life After Loss
11:16 Navigating New Relationships
21:44 Seeking Support and Connection
23:10 Finding Strength in Numbers
24:32 Choosing Life Amidst Grief
24:59 Radical Compassion and Self-Permission
25:30 The Unfixable Nature of Death
27:02 Holding Grief and Joy Simultaneously
27:40 The Taboo of Sex and Grief
31:12 Writing as a Therapeutic Outlet
33:42 Physical Manifestations of Grief
34:46 The Universal Experience of Grief
36:41 The Duality of Bittersweet
38:19 Living Fully After Loss
48:32 The Creative Endeavour of Relationships
50:21 Complexity in Different Types of Bereavement
Find Lotte Bowser:
Instagram: @lottebowser
Read her book, Bittersweet: https://amzn.eu/d/4TMzEmV
Listen to her podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4VffRbs0rN3U2BC3qJ8wW1?si=b04773d8c32a4622
Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips. Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk.
Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply.
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The Agony Aunties offer advice to a mother concerned about her six-year-old daughter's intense emotions and anger. They recommend techniques such as calm discussions, using books, and physical methods like hitting a pillow to help children manage their feelings. They stress the importance of parents modelling emotional regulation and self-compassion. Additionally, they introduce a daily practice called 'rose, bud, and thorn' to enhance emotional intelligence and gratitude.
Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply.
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In this interview, Jane Garvey discusses her expansive career in radio broadcasting, from being the first voice on BBC Radio 5 Live to her long tenure at Woman's Hour, and her current role at Times Radio. Jane shares insights into her personal life, particularly her experiences as a single parent and the unique challenges it brought. She highlights the emotional and psychological load of single parenting, emphasising the advantage of having resources and support. The conversation also navigates her career trajectory, public recognition, and work-life balance, particularly through transitions and public interactions. Moreover, Jane reflects on mentoring in media, feminism, and her personal growth, including her significant role during a live broadcast on September 11, 2001. Additionally, she dives into her close professional relationship with Fi Glover and the impact and reception of their successful podcast, Off Air with Jane and Fi.
01:24 Challenges of Single Parenting
03:52 Reflections on Parenting and Family
18:04 Career Beginnings and Aspirations
28:44 Navigating Public and Private Life as a Single Mum
29:12 The Role of Radio in Personal and Public Life
31:41 The Psyche of Broadcasters
38:14 The Impact of Major Events on Broadcasting
41:34 The Evolution of Female Broadcasters
45:44 Reflections on Career and Personal Dreams
48:50 Parenting Challenges and Societal Expectations
50:34 The Importance of Honest Conversations
59:45 The Good Enough Parent
Listen to Off Air with Jane and Fi: https://open.spotify.com/show/4fIthFOvAaPBVf5NWyz8Sl
Follow Jane and Fi on Instagram: @janeandfi
Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips. Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk.
Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply.
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In this week’s episode of Therapy Works, we sit down with Michelle and Richard, who share their incredibly painful journey of losing their five year old son Rudy to a brain tumor. We’ll talk about our reflections on love, loss, and the balance between treatment and quality of life. They’re both very open about the impact this had on their family, including their daughter Elodie, and the crucial support of community and healthcare professionals. And, what’s very inspiring, is how much they were able to handle the loss and the aftermath with such grace. It’s truly impressive. For our Mother/Daughter segment, Emily, Sophie and I will all delve into the emotional and physical realities of grief, while also celebrating the enduring spirit of love that remains.
If you like this episode, and want to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/
And for more info, check out my new website - https://www.juliasamuel.co.uk
Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply.
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For this week’s episode of Agony Aunties, we have a very interesting question from a viewer who is struggling with a sexless marriage. The discussion explores the complexities of emotional and physical intimacy, communication challenges with a partner, and potential solutions such as open relationships, which were once unspeakable, but now are gaining more common ground. The conversation delves into societal norms surrounding sex, the stigma of higher female libido, and alternative ways to maintain connection. We also emphasize the importance of exploring underlying issues with professional guidance. Altogether, we - as always - encourages open, honest conversation where we can acknowledge various perspectives on maintaining fulfilling relationships.
Also, these are just our thoughts on the matter. We'd really love to hear yours, especially because this is a difficult topic to bring up. I've been very open in talking about grief and loss, which are very difficult to discuss, and I also know that discussing sexuality is a very difficult topic as well. For some, it's too difficult to discuss. If you're open to it, I'd be very interested in hearing how this episode resonated with you. What are your thoughts here?
Show Notes:
If this topic interests you, a great book on Attachment Styles in Open Relationships is “Polysecure” by Jessica Fern - https://amzn.eu/2hHCCaK
Emily mentioned Dan Savage’s podcast. You can find it here - https://savage.love/lovecast/
And I mentioned Esther Perel’s podcast too - https://www.estherperel.com/podcast
Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/
And for more info, check out my new website - https://www.juliasamuel.co.uk
Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply.
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Welcome back to the Therapy Works podcast! We're starting Season 7 with a very special guest, James Middleton, as he opens up about the challenges he faced with dyslexia, self-doubt, and depression. He discusses the impact of societal expectations, the feeling of being a 'square peg in a round hole', and the eventual breakdown that led him to contemplate suicide. James reflects on the pivotal role his dog Ella played in his recovery, providing him with unconditional love and a renewed sense of purpose. The conversation highlights the importance of speaking out, seeking help, and the transformative power of animal companionship in mental health recovery. Tune in to hear James's heartfelt story, the significant support from his family, and the insights he gained on his path to healing.
Show Notes
You can check out James’ Book here
Or find him on Instagram (with many great pictures with his dogs) -
Emily mentioned a couple of resources, which I’d like to share here:
Team Square Peg / Not Fine in School
Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips
And for more info, check out my new website
Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply.
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We're almost ready to start with Season 7 of the Therapy Works podcast, and until then, I've been looking back at some of my favorite moments in the show's history. I can't help but remember this episode with Annabel Croft, where we discuss how one copes after losing a partner, focusing on finding joy, meaning, and connection through everyday activities and family support. We'll also touch on the importance of talking about the deceased, understanding different grieving processes, and the emotional challenges of handling a loved one's ashes while finding the right time to make decisions about them.
See you next week for the start of Season 7!
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While we're getting ready for Season 7 of the Therapy Works podcast, we're sharing some of our favorite moments throughout the years. Here's a small section from my talk with Helena Bonham Carter, as we discuss the risks and trust involved in their profession and how years of experience help in quickly recovering from setbacks.
We'll talk about the joys of embodying different personas, the importance of playfulness, and the diverse roles they balance in life. We touch on coping mechanisms like laughter and not taking life too seriously, even amidst challenges like lockdown and self-criticism. The episode also highlights the significance of multi-faceted identities, dealing with internal critics, and maintaining core self-confidence in a demanding career.
If you liked this part, you'll love the full episode. Watch it here.
If you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips
And for more info, check out my website
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As we're ramping up for Season 7 of Therapy Works, I wanted to share some of my favorite moments from our past episodes.
In this episode with Trinny Woodall, we explore the emotional challenges of major life transitions, particularly when children leave home. Trinny reflects on the concept of a blended family and its deep personal significance. She shares her journey of coping with the impending departure of her daughter, Lyla, and the emotional aftermath of a car accident. We'll talk about themes of loss, responsibility, and the paradoxical theory of change, emphasizing the importance of acceptance and self-awareness.
If you liked this episode, you can see the full episode here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKkbGfxubmQ
Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/
And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at
betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self.
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As we've just finished Season 6 of Therapy Works, we wanted to share some of our favorite parts from past episodes. Here's part of my talk with Charles Spencer, where he opens up about how he started to uncover parts of his past.
Watch the full episode here - https://youtu.be/R7YZHcLhrF8
If you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/
And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk
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In this special episode of Therapy Works, we're joined by Dr. Sheila Redfern, a clinical psychologist with 30 years of experience working with young people and their families. Sheila discusses the challenges and intricacies of parenting adolescents, particularly focusing on understanding behaviors through the lens of mentalization. Sheila's new book, 'How Do You Hug a Cactus?' provides practical and insightful guidance on maintaining close relationships with teenagers. Explore how mentalizing can transform parent-teen relationships, the importance of self-reflection for parents, and how to navigate the complexities of a child's inner world.
Show Notes:
If you found this topic interesting, you’ll love Sheila’s book, “How Do You Huge a Cactus”
If you’d like to get in contact with Sheila, you can find out more on her website - https://redfernpsychology.org
On the topic of parenting, I’ve been writing some articles about parenting adult children over on my Substack. If this subject interests you, I think you might be interested in these as well - https://juliasamuel.substack.com/p/parenting-adult-children
If you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/
And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk
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