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Worries, fears, and anxieties can all bring us to a place where we pray ‘I’m anxious God’ but there is hope. I went to see my Doctor the other day for my routine checkup. ‘Anxiety’? he questioned. I replied ‘No, everything is fine there’Read this post here👁️🗨️ About Barry Pearman https://turningthepage.co.nz/im-anxious-god/Signup to email newsletter https://turningthepage.co.nz/✉️ Contact Barry Direct https://turningthepage.co.nz/contact-us/👉Donate to Turning the Page https://turningthepage.co.nz/give/#anxiety #worry #fear
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The first time I heard the Polish proverb “Not my circus, not my monkeys” I felt quite shocked, but digging deeper, I understood what they were saying.
I heard it said by a husband about his wife.
It felt callous.
It felt cold and I still think it was.
That he would not want to help engage with the struggles she was facing.
To say “Not my circus, not my monkeys” is to declare that you don’t want to be dragged into the drama of the other person’s issues—that you’re not getting involved.
I get the boldness of the statement, and the need at times to be quite cold and confrontational.
Some people seem to want to pass on the drama of their own life to others.
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It's ok to build a wall. It's ok to have boundaries. Just don't make it a prison cell. Don't make it a place of self-made solitary confinement🔔 Subscribe to empower your mental health through faith, hope and love.Read this post https://turningthepage.co.nz/building-a-wall-setting-boundaries-in-relationships/👁️🗨️ About Barry Pearman https://turningthepage.co.nz/about-barry-pearman/
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She crossed a line with her words, a line that was getting thinner with every wag of the tongue, but what could be done to help them both?
It was the evening of the very first day of the year (2025). A beautiful summer’s day here in New Zealand.
But in this quiet, I suddenly heard screaming and yelling. Every second word was the F word.
I looked down the road and saw a very large man woman and a man on the pavement.
He was kneeling on the ground in front of her. It was almost like he was praying/ begging in front of her. She was towering above him and shouting at him.
Words and more ‘F’s’.
More words, more ‘F’s’.
It was violence. Verbal violence.
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We give and give, even if it does us harm, but what if learned the limits and established a line?
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Our minds can be so busy, but learning how to stop is so crucial to our wellbeing. Perhaps centering prayer offers some help.
I was watching a two-year-old boy the other day. He was full on in active mode. Walking here and there, playing with this and that.
But his mother knew what was coming. He was going to come to a stop.
A little but grumpy, a little more wanting cuddles, a little more rubbing eyes.
She picked him up, took him to his bed, and a few moments later, he was asleep.
All that activity and the changes going on in his growing body resulted in the need for a nap.
Slowing down and stopping is essential for anyone at any age.
We think we might miss out, there is so much to do, but stopping is essential for deep soul work to be done.
How are you at stopping?
Does the anxious mind demand resolution?
Does the depressed place long for a friend?
How can I still my mind?
How can I come to a stop?
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We can feel alone, but to have someone there with us helps. He watches over me even in the dark of the night.
It’s the comfort of having someone there.
I know of a young man that has trouble getting to sleep. At times one of his parents has slept on a mattress next time.
It’s that assurance, that sense of presence, that knowing that they are not alone.
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Restless nights, anxious thoughts, and a longing for sleep, but it alludes us. ‘God, give me sleep’ you pray
I’ve had times in my life where getting to sleep has been difficult. At other times, I would wake during the night and not be able to get back to sleep.
Sleep is so variable, isn’t it?
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Registar for class here
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Christmas can have dark shadows, but what if God came close? God can provide a comfort at Christmas.
As I write this, I think of someone I know that has had a death in their family. It’s a loss, a grief, a tearing of relationship.
Christmas. Will it be a place of comfort for them?
There will be shadows. Memories and moments of grief.
I am praying for them that they would sense a comfort at Christmas that passes beyond understanding.
What’s Christmas like for you?
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Hope and mental health. They seem quite linked, but what helps them both to dance together well?
I recently had a picture pop into my head. It was a headstone, in a cemetery, and engraved into the old tired stone was the name of the deceased – Hope.
Not a person’s name, but more the concept of hope. That things might get better.
Hope had died, was buried, was gone, and had left the building.
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You need better boundaries. How many have said this to you? How about a better knowing of yourself first? #boundaries
Better boundaries come from the inside out
Three types of boundaries
1. Imposed boundaries.
2. Adopted boundaries.
3. Internalised Owned boundaries.
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I want to stir you up. Not to stir up anger or trouble. Actually, quite the opposite, but to love and good works.
So often I hear in people a tiredness, a lethargy, even a complete deadness to something that sits resident within their souls.
Maybe they have been put down, criticised, mocked, or ignored. They might have shared something deep, but it wasn’t listened to well.
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We carry so much load, but what if we were unburdened? Perhaps the donkey might learn to dance light and free.
It's an image that tells a story.
The story of a heavy laden down camel carrying a load of straw and the little proverb 'the final straw that broke the camel's back'
It's the load. The burden. It's the feather.
The weight, awkwardness, and struggle that eventually takes one out.
What are you carrying?
What weighs upon your thinking and bends upon your back?
Read this post https://turningthepage.co.nz/unburdened-from-what-has-been/
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Posts about Forgiveness https://turningthepage.co.nz/forgiveness-and-mental-health/
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We all have problems, but we can over-personalise them. But the problem is the problem. The problem is not the person.
Read this post https://turningthepage.co.nz/the-problem-is-the-problem-not-the-person/
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Do you find it easier to slide in your thinking to the negative than to the good?
I need help and I think you do too.
Not so much to keep focusing on the positive, but to keep focused on truth – God’s truth, how God sees everything.
How you talk about God is how you talk about everything.
I need help to balance my brain with a kind of grounded God reality that keeps me running true and straight.
Not too much negative that might drag me away and under waves of despair.
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We have obvious problems, but real problems, the ones that drive us to unwell ness, can only be resolved by deep soul work. What's going on underneath?
We have problems. Every one reading this will have multiple problems.
I just got news from a family member that the biopsies came back negative for cancer. A huge problem has been resolved. Relief floods my soul.
Some problems are obvious. I need food for dinner, a home to live in, a job. I need a friend who won't use and abuse me. I need security.
They are very real problems.
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You’ve got nothing left. An empty love tank, weightless and vulnerable. But you want love. Who and what will fill the need?
The water tank was empty. I opened up the lid on the tank and immediately I could smell the residue of silt lying on the bottom of the tank.
No rain had entered the tank for weeks and slowly the water had drained out until now it was empty. Any water in the tank was dirty, putrid, and vile.
I have talked with people who are like this water tank. They have drained their life, emptied their love tank out for the sake of others’ needs, and now there is an emptiness. Often there is a bitterness, resentment and a feeling of being used.
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We like to be self-reliant, but at times we need help, so we need a rescue plan. I got stuck in the mud a few days ago.
I had been driving my small truck in the countryside and decided to do a u-turn. I crossed over the road and on to the soil and I got stuck in the mud. I hadn’t realised that it was so wet and mucky.
I instantly stopped, as I knew that if I kept trying to get out, I would just dig myself in further.
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Our brains can keep reminding us. ‘My Sin is Ever Before Me’ writes the poet, but what if we had a purifier?
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I’ve got too much going on in my life, but I want to keep my life simple, so I discard the complex.
He’s a fictional character and I like the freedom he has.
His name is Jack reacher and is the creation of Lee Child.
Jack Reacher has the life of a nomad. He wanders from town to town and solves problems, generally with a lot of violence. That part is not what I’m keen on, but there is something unique about his life.
It’s extremely simple.
He travels mostly by hitchhiking, and all he carries is an ATM Card and a toothbrush.
That’s all.
If he needs new clothes, he buys them. He doesn’t carry a bag or even a cell phone.
He is free from all the possessions that we would normally call essential. His possessions don’t own him.
Sounds good doesn’t it? Maybe, but he doesn’t have a spouse, girlfriend, kids or relational commitments.
It’s a simple life, which has an appeal, but it’s a life of a loner.
Does this appeal to something in you?
Is there something within you that would love to walk away from the complexity of stuff?
I’ve shifted house three times in the last three years and I have got rid of a lot of things. Trailer loads.
It’s freeing. It’s liberating to cut your life down to the minimum.
I don’t think I will ever get to the ‘Jack Reacher’ phase, although I wouldn’t mind trying it for a few weeks to see what it would be like.
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