エピソード
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You got a problem with me, guy?
What about The Beatles, you don't got a problem with them, right? Because some of their songs, depending who you ask, are pretty darn problematic. Where's Jerry Falwell when you need him? Oh, yeah, dead! He Gone!!! 🥰
Tony and T.J. attempt very hard to get cancelled as they debate which Beatles songs are, to quote Lindsey Buckingham, Trouble; as they discuss their unique and very real compilations of Problematic Beatles Songs.
Along the way, Tony, T.J., and stone cold early 90s Miami DJ legend - nepotism alert! - DJ Double DJ, discuss these dirty, Murica hatin songs and also ask:
🤡 Is Matt Gaetz's favorite song, "I Saw Her Standing There"? Because, she was just 17? #GaetzyPuckett
👸 (Our Chicago friend at the bar. It's 3pm, he hasn't showered in a bit, and he just called the RC Cola delivery guy "Ozzie Guillen, Jr.") "How come Queen and Fred McMercury stole that big butts song from the Beatles and then Sir Mix A A Lot made a rap song about it? And how come rap music don't go away, so I can feel comfortable again??"
🥛🎙️ If one man makes another man "spit on his microphone", is it probably at Matt Gaetz's house?
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Not everyone gets lip serviced. Like, have you ever been lip serviced, pal?Being lip serviced, also known as “paying someone lip service” is when someone talks about you. For example, “Donald T****p once paid his daughter 💋Ivanka💋 lip service when he literally joked about wanting to date her on the Howard Stern show”. But it’s not usually that creepy or gross, in fact it’s often a compliment, like the many songs that feature a direct mention of The Beatles, in every generation and genre of music.
This week, Tony & T.J., as reproduced for podcast by Producer Casey, delve into some of their favorite (and least favorite) songs that mention The Beatles. They also wonder, aloud, because it’s a podcast…
🚨 Would “Kids Incorporated” have been a more interesting show if it was called “Kids Incarcerated”?
😴 Are Rod Rogers and Rick Astley the Dream Academy and Beatles of their respective eras? And why are you acting like you don’t know what that means, are you ok?
⛵️Who can say where the road goes? Where the day flows? And who can say if your love grows, as your heart chose? And, is this a joke or just lazily quoting Enya?
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In case you need it, here's last week's Songs for Times of Trouble playlist.
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エピソードを見逃しましたか？
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For anyone with a pulse - and/or a mint copy of the Pink Floyd CD with a still-functioning blue light - Beatles music makes life better. The Fab 4 (or 5, depending where one sits with Sir Jimmie Nicol) were imperfect men, who created mostly perfect music; “12 Bar Original” and “Sie Liebt Dich”, notwithstanding. Despite their very human flaws and contradictions, they sought to communicate light and love through their remarkable music, lyrics, and an unmatched accessibility to every generation and background.
In mere hours, America [F**K YEAH!] will decide our next president. Regardless of one’s political leanings, it’s a stressful time ‘round here. And, when we find ourselves in times of trouble, many of us rely on Beatles music to soothe, entertain, inspire, and fulfill us. Those who don’t are probably d-bags, and it’s best to cancel them. #PeaceAndLove
Even though entertainers should absolutely stay in their lane and SHUT THEIR PIE HOLES about politics (looking at you, Chachi! And especially you, longtime host of NBC’s “The Apprentice”!), this week’s UBP focuses on favorite, optimistic music from the Beatles world that serves to inspire Tony & T.J. on the eve of this precarious moment in American history. Plus, there’s many insider-y, beltway-adjacent questions posed by our own Nate Silver and Nate Gold (#YukonCornelius #SoulTrain), as we also ask:
🤠 How many voters will be swayed by the effects of inflation on the pre-order price of Ringo’s new country + western cassette tape?
🦋 Is there a better chance MPL will release a Deluxe Archive Collection reissue of Ringo’s two versions of “Wings” before actually reissuing Wings “London Town” or Wings “Back To The Egg”? And will there ever be two versions of “Two Virgins”?
💉 Is the $80 vinyl of Sean’s “Mind Games: The Meditation Mixes” the RFK Jr. of Beatles re-issues?
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If you're anything like us, you might want to bookmark this playlist.
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A book can take you anywhere…
…Out to sea on a vengeful hunt for a fierce white whale…Trapped on a stalled train car solving the grisly murder of a fellow passenger…Madly pacing at a record retailer, deciding whether or not to purchase a Leon Russell Christmas LP because it’s on green vinyl…
That last scenario hasn’t been published yet, and those pretentious snobs over at Simon & Schuster won’t accept unsolicited submissions. Same goes for Penguin. And the dorks at HarperCollins. And the jerks at Random House. And Macmillan. And The Hachette Book Group…
That’s why this week, per another fab listener suggestion, T.J. and Tony are taken to 1960s Great Britain, where they discuss some of their favorite Beatles books.
Were this episode to be optioned into a page turning best seller, these would be some of the chapters:
🎙️💀 Other Podcasts Who Shall Not Be Named
🏃♀️🏠 Begrudging Appreciation For “She’s Leaving Home”
📚⛽️ Recommended Reading At Gas Stations
💿🏙️ Reckless Records Locations in Chicago 1988-1993
🚫🍊 Incorrect Pronunciations of “Pomelo”
If this all sounds boring to you, bring a book!
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In 2003, The Redwalls, a really good band hailing from Chicago suburb Deerfield, IL kicked off their album “Universal Blues” by encouraging a “Colorful Revolution”; in a most Beatle-esque Banger fashion.
By coincidence (?), a mere 31 years earlier, there was a colorful “Daytime Revolution” as John, Yoko, and friends took over a week’s worth of “The Mike Douglas Show” - a.k.a. the guy all of us, if we’re being honest, initially confused/conflated with “The Dick Cavett Show”.
This new, soon-to-stream documentary examines these historic episodes, and had a brief in-theaters showing on what would’ve been John’s 84th birthday. Tony saw the film solo in Chicago suburb Glenview, IL, as T.J. handled the un-related, un-paid improv rehearsal many miles from his home - and even further from #GlenviewsFamousDawgPark. The result is a new-ish phase Beatles podcast, reproduced for streaming by Producer Casey. Roll up for this special UBP field trip, an aural journey (cue: “Faithfully”) of Tony documenting a documentary, as documentary commentary from T.J. documents Tony’s documentary commentary of the documentary's documentary commentary.
ALSO: The UBP’s Medved + (Helen) Roeper ask:
🔥🏡 Does a movie with too many talking heads stop making sense? Or does it get nothing but flowers? Is Wings Wild Life > Wild Wild Life? Sick Byrne, qu’est-ce que c'est?
⚾️📻 (Chicago guy - a Sox fan, but he doesn’t hate the Cubs; only Wrigleyville and their fans, and maybe he has a point): “How come the unique single mix of Steve Goodman’s “Go Cubs Go” - pressed, my friendt, on WGN Records! - ain’t been made available anywhere else since the original 45? Maybe Dean Richards will return one of my many handwritten letters and tell me what exactly woke WGN is trying to hide?
🥪 Would former American Idol Reuben Studard have been more successful if he’d been slathered in extra 1000 Island and better swiss?
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What is Beatle-esque? Webster’s Dictionary has no entry for the term. Nor does Punky Brewster’s Dictionary or Boner’s Thesaurus. Historians have speculated, scholars have debated, and Beatle sniffers have sniffed for a little too long, yet no one knows for certain.
So this week our listeners help define the phrase with their own submissions of non-Beatles songs that evoke the Fab Four, aka Beatle-esque Bangers.
T.J. and Tony also offer a couple of their own bangers (a la carte, sans mash)…with lively controversial results. Will be fab!
Along the way, the Nerk Nerds ponder:
📠 If Neil Innes is a xerox of a xerox of The Beatles, how many xeroxes would it take to make The Spin Doctors?
💸 (Angry Chicago Guy): “HOW COME THOZE JAGOFFS OVER AT DA ANTIQUE ROADSHOWS WONT APPRAISE MY 1982 GARY US BOND?? Diane sez I’m late on palimony again BUT SHEEZ DA ONE DAT TOSSED OUT MY WALTER PAYTON COMMEMORATIVE WHEATIES BOX. NOW I HAVE NUTHIN!!!”
🐒 Since Elvis sounds like Paul (who had a secretary named Lincoln), does Linda sound like Priscilla (who had a secretary named Kennedy and a chimpanzee named Ringo)?
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As Marla Gibbs (look her up, Boomer. Did I get that right?) once said, “there’s no place like home!” And she was obviously singing about Skokie, Illinois - home of a cookie cutter AMC Movie Palace so glorious, it rivals only Chicago’s famous Esquire Theater, now home to a shuttered Dallas-based steak chain. (#Progress)
Usually, Tony and T.J. only go on post-Bears game movie dates when it involves seeing the latest Marvel sequel to a Marvel sequel. (Turn up the volume on those explosions, projector man!) But a special field trip was made after a SEASON-TURNING BEARS WIN, to go see the limited, first ever theatrical release of Paul McCartney’s “One Hand Clapping”. Is the film better on the big screen than tucked away on the “Band On The Run” Archive Collection DVD? Does the music rock even harder in the theater? What’s the deal with popcorn prices these days, Obama? Tony and T.J. ask these salient and Soily questions, and also ponder from the backyard (of the theater):
📚😭 Is the Half Price Books in Skokie, IL this generation’s Tower Records? And if it is, is society in more trouble than we previously ever imagined?
🍿💩 Did “The Popcorn Kid”, the 1987 CBS flop about teens working in a movie theater, that T.J. used to videotape for some weirdo reason, ever have an episode about cleaning human feces from an exterior wall?
🍔🤮 (Angry Chicago Guy): “How come woke Tony don’t ever get no Ohio-based Red Robin Gourmet Burgers on Hulu/FX’s “The Bear”? Some Chicagoan, NOT!” (He laughs a little too hard at his own use of “NOT”, and begins to cough up Old Style from acid reflux. He vomits on his worn shoes. It’s quite sad, actually. His son doesn’t even call him anymore on Christmas; and after the hell he went through as a kid, damn right he doesn’t. And yet, this man needs help - especially after this White Sox season - and y’all laugh? Like your life is perfect? What do you get out of this abject cruelty? Maybe that’s a better question.)
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Sick episode, bro!
No, literally, this episode is sick!
Well, actually, Producer Casey was sick with COVID-19 during what was supposed to be a rare, in-person, Rosemont reunion of the Ubp3. #Cantaloop
Fortunately, The Fest For Beatles Fans (nee “Beatlefest”) is always sick. Sick, in a good way, like the kids said in spring, ’95. We need to legally mention that the Fest was NOT COVID-19 sick, thankfully; which means it probably injected bleach, and horse dewormer. What a great way to own the libz, for freedumb!
Somehow, Tony & T.J. were as healthy as two legally-giddy, mid-1970’s born Chicago guys can be, so they spent two beautiful days checking out all that this inspiring, lovely collection of fellow Beatles nerds has to offer. And Poducer Casey was able to rally, and contribute to our recorded shenanigans at the Fest from his sad, GrubHub-reekin’ hotel room. (Oddly, Casey did not order GrubHub.)
So stop your elitist reading, just push play (#FUAerosmith), and come celebrate the 50th Anniversary of The Fest for Beatles Fans with us! Because we also ask other burning Beatles questions, like:
🎞️🎶 Is giving someone a beat-up U.K. 45 of “The Beatles Movie Medley”, without the famously infamous picture sleeve, a “gift” or a “terrible insult”?
🐄🍺 Isn’t Bruce Spizer PARTIALLY to blame for leaving his books within the vicinity of a beer swiggin’ Shandawg? And will T.J. ever get over the immense guilt for accidentially-yet-irresponsibly destroying his favorite Beatles historian's books?
👀🏈 (Angry Chicago guy, he smells like Comiskey circa 1987) HOW COME THE SUZANNE SUMMERS VEHICLE “SHE’S THE SHERIFF” DIDN’T HAVE NO ROPERS OR FURLEYS? AND HOW COME KYLE ORTMAN [sic, moron] AIN’T ON THE BEARS NO MORE?
The Untitled Beatles Podcast extends our deepest gratitude to the Fest For Beatles Fans for their incredible spirit, hospitality and love for all things Fab. And we salute the legendary Terri Hemmert for being both the longtime emcee and Chicago Radio Royalty!
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Move aside, Mark Lewisohn. It's SPIZERTIME.
That's right. At long last, the Beatles have announced a new 8 LP box set of the U.S. Beatles records they're (dubiously) calling "The Beatles: 1964 Albums in Mono".
T.J.'s first phone call was to the Venture at North Ave. and Kostner to pre-order his box set.
His next call was to his doctor, to address a sudden and impolite-to-discuss medical condition lasting longer than 4 hours. #ringthebonephone
And his third (and arguably most important) call was to his pal Tony so they could compare their hopes and dreams for the impending November release. [Editor's note: T.J. impending release joke #REDACTED]
They also cover the truly pressing questions, like:
📼 Will Tony pick up a copy of the box set, or just hope to gather someone's discarded, unwound cassette tape by the side of the Eisenhower Expressway and respool it?
💨 Are you more of a Beatle fart guy, or a Stones fart guy? And what's Charlie Watts got against Heinz Baked Beans?
🥃 [Angry Chicago guy after two too many Malorts] "How come Calderstone still ain't released Jolly What! England's Greatest Recording Stars: The Beatles & Frank Ifield on Stage"?
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Attention loyal podcast description reader! Mighty fine morning in your town, init? Say, are you an “Only People” fan? Ever think, “I want to be, but it’s just not long enough!” Well, have we got a John Lennon boxed set for you, featuring 11 - count ‘em, 11 - more seconds of “Only People”. It’s “Mind Games!” Still a Capitol Records Value, now available for the low price of one month’s rent/mortgage. #ImagineNoPosessions
The Grumpy Gabbers deep dish this sprawling Lennon reissue’s many gorgeous ups and frustrating (Hugh) downs: the demos, myriad remixes, hidden tracks, glow-in-the-dark RSD exclusives, and more, like:
🎸 Does WFUK-96.9 FM - APPLETON’S HOME FOR F**K ROCK - play too little Led Apron?
🍌 If “Now & Then” is, technically, a Beatles song, is “Nutopian International Anthem (Evolution Documentary) technically a Rutles song?
🪄✌️ (Angry Chicago Guy, He’s Not Sober) “How come Tony don’t get no “Wizard Of Oz” references? And how come I took mushrooms after Super Bowl XX and watched my VHS of “Wizard Of Oz” synced up to “Pipes Of Peace”, and it all made sense?”
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In 1981, the Capitol Records green label LP, budget line re-release of "Mind Games" cost $5.99. In 2024, that same record, when heard in a cube complete with a gnome sized replica of Yoko (allegedly), can be purchased for roughly $1700. Thanks, Obama! (#Sarcasm #Satire #Satcasm)
A new precedent in solo Beatles reissues has been set with this reissue, including the more moderately priced (yet still insane) 6 disc edition. Is that a good thing? Does hearing 6 versions of "Intuition" really enhance the experience of listening to the album? And if T.J. doesn't collect it, does it even exist?
Tony and T.J. begin to dive into this massive release and answer these questions, and more, like:
💷🥊💵 Was Aunt Mimi a loyal fan of BBC 4's, "Pounds or Dollars"?
🐋 Did the Mick Jagger film "Freejack" portend the Michael Jackson film song, "Freewilly"?
🍻 Angry Chicago Fella: "How come the John Lennon tribute band, Real Sanpaku, don't play at the Merrillville Star Plaza no more?"
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Labor Day already? That's it? Summer's over?
T.J. and Tony, just like ev'ry summer, are busy packing up their rented cottage in the Isle of Wight. But they both found some time to hop behind a microphone, along with Producer Casey and P3Z-Nutz, to preview some of the fabbest gab they've got lined up for the fall.
🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁
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Live, from Beatlefest’s famous/non-existent Midway Ballroom, in the outskirts of beautiful, mobbed-up, downtown Rosemont, it’s Saturday Afternoon Live! WITH SPECIAL GUEST, #1 BEATLES STAN, SKYLAR MOODY!
For the second year in a row, Tony Shanoff, T.J. Mendoza, and Producer Case3Z-Nutz said, “f**k it, we’ll do it live!”, and recorded this episode at the always-incredible Fest For Beatles Fans (née Beatlefest), in front of some loyal UBP fans; and a few very confused people who were probably too embarrassed/disturbed to leave. (Seeing P3Z-Nutz in person can do that to a newbie.)
This year, they’re joined by Beatles superfan/influencer/digital creator - the wonderful Skylar Moody - for an intense game of Beatles Trivial Pursuit! Plus, Tony celebrates the Beatles rich history in Chicago - AMERICA’S GREATEST CITY, YA JAGBAGS! T.J. pays tribute to arguably 2025’s 8th Beatle (#GiveIrelandBackToTheIfield)! And they also ask, to a HUGE CROWD THAT’S WAY BIGGER THAN KAMALA’S, WHICH IS IMPORTANT AND TRUE BECAUSE I’M MISERABLE INSIDE:
🦊📰🍆 Who’s more of a failed cartoon character in America? Rupert The Bear, or Rupert The Murdoch?
📺🇺🇸😷Which is a more culturally impactful moment in American media history: Producer Casey bravely producing this live recording sick, from his hotel room via Zoom, or the 1970’s WGBH Boston kids-show “Zoom”?
🦁👑🐭How many times has noted Disney-phile Tony seen “The Lion King”?
Special thanks to the Fest For Beatles Fans family for hosting us. It’s an honor to be a very small part of such a wonderful, joyful, celebration of the greatest rock band not named Korn!📸 Photos courtesy of Patreon Star Club supporter Glen K.!
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The Untitled Beatles Crew are all still recovering from an epic, whirlwind Fest for Beatles Fans 2024. And by recovering, I mean still passed out somewhere under the Apple Jam Stage.
This week, please enjoy one of our all-time faves!
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[Originally released May 6, 2023]
Trivia! What a silly word. I mean, how many words rhyme with “Jergens?” Feel me, Jacque?
Sadly, ever since Alex Trebek pulled a (rather cowardly) #HeGone, the pursuit of trivia - Beatles and otherwise - has been largely dormant in America. But not this week! Because Tony and T.J. each break out their deluxe editions of Beatles Trivial Pursuit and play a heated, often deadly round or three of the game! But don’t you D.A.R.E. think we put the board in “bored game”! Because, madness (#OurHouse) ensues as we also trivially pursue:
🚕 Would NBC have ever considered green-lighting “Dear John” if not for its one, ill-fated season of “Taxi”?
⚾️ Were the 90’s Yankees really better without ding-dong-dinger machine Donnie Baseball? (Drunk old Chicago White Sox fan: “What about Bronny Dosco?”)
🚥 Is “Steve Winwood: The Musical” the new “Blind Faith: The Musical”? And will you miss both if you’re stuck in traffic? Shit that’s a lot of Steve Winwood references, right? Too many? Or just about right, in a “rule of 3’s” way? We ask rhetorically, like don’t send us notes or anything like that, because we won’t read it. Who’s got the time? Like, how do YOU even have the time to write a Beatles podcast about a failed Steve Winwood bit? Think about that next time you find yourself drinking a High Life again. Drinking a high…life…again.
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Tell me why? Ain’t nothing but a heartache! Tell me why? Ain’t nothing but a mistake!Maybe if you’re a jag-bag! Because real Fab fans love “Tell Me Why”, by The Beatles but, especially, The Backstreet Boys. ALL RIGHT!The Gab 2 love this record in all of its’ forms, and they get a little overly excited as they continue to deep dish “A Hard Day’s Night”, both the U.K. and U.S. versions. Perhaps unintentionally, Tony & T.J. make a strong case that the 1987 cassette track listening is definitive, but also - rather generously - take the time to ask:
🍖 Is it past time that the feds shut down Mentor Ohio’s illicit, bootleg-filled Record Den? Look Record Den, either join the f.y.e. chain or you’re DEAD MEAT.
1️⃣ [Angry, Functionally Drunk Chicago guy:] How come Calderstone didn’t put no “Ain’t She Sweet” on “Beatles 1”? And how come “Once Bitten Twice Shy” ain’t longer? More like Great Woke. GET IT? [weeping] Please come home, Diane.
📬 Pick a Newman: the “Cars” guy or Wayne Knight?
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It's the 50th anniversary of Beatlefest <buzz> ... errr... The Fest for Beatles Fans™, and Tone-J ShanDozOff and Producer K3C Nutz will obviously all be there. Because at least one time a year:
The Untitled Beatles Podcast is filmed before a live studio audience.
Roll up and join us this Saturday, August 10, at 1 p.m. in the Palisades (Park) Ballroom at the Hyatt Regency O'Hare. Tickets and more details at thefest.com.
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One need not be Mark Lewisohn (TM) to agree that the two fabbest early Beatles albums are, in no particular order, “Jolly What!” and “A Hard Day’s Night”. In honor of Frank Ifield, who died in May and, tragically, missed out on this episode, we’re super proud to present the long awaited, much belated, Paperlated, Untitled Beatles Podcast deep dish on the “A Hard Day’s Night” LP! Spoilers: 5 FREAKING FABS!
In fact, it’s not just a great album; it’s one of the greatest and most timeless records ever made. Look, every Beatles album is mind-bogglingly great. And yet, it’s entirely possible that “A Hard Day’s Night” is the most perfect collection of songs they ever recorded. In this episode, the Fab Two On Pod dive into the album’s history and legacy, and also ponder from out yonder:
🕳️ (Angry Chicago Guy:) How come Weird Al didn’t do no parody of Los Bravos’ 1965 hit “Black Is Black” called “Crack Is Whack”? And how come The Buckinghams don’t play Chicagofest no more?
🥛🍯 “Hello Dolly” composer Jerry Herman wrote a musical called “Milk And Honey”, 23 years before the posthumous Lennon album of the same name was released. How banger is that brat summer trivia, bruh?
🕺🏾Does the German pressing of 2023’s “Red Album” reissue feature the Jellybean Benitez Remix of “And I Love Her”?
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The Untitled Beatles Podcast 60th anniversary celebration of A Hard Day’s Night is in full swing, all thanks to Producer Casey’s decision to have an open bar. It is a classic film after all and… oh great. Tony just shaved his head to resemble Gene Siskel and now T.J. is trying to squish into his childhood Q-bert costume. Cheeky! And while these pie-eyed faboons intercept every drink (and jam butty) intended for the Fabs, they ponder:
💿 Which agency would you trust to protect your 1984 mint condition Criterion AHDN Laserdisc: Paw Patrol, Moon Patrol, or Snow Patrol?
👃🏻Is John’s nose very?
🔕 If 10-year-old David Janson’s pal Ding Dong is in fact “a bigot”, does that mean we need to cancel George Harrison’s holiday nut rocker of the same name?
Today’s episode is also a public service announcement, brought to you by Mothers Against Drunk Podcasting.
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All right, cool, so a lot of y'all like "Head", whether giving it, or getting it, on DVD. Fine! But without question, A Hard Days Night - like Jets Detroit pizza - is better. Because it has to be. #PizzaMarketingTruths
Tony and T.J. continue to explore this still-vital film and its unbreakable impact on pop culture, and also ask:
🌇 Why were The Jeffersons always movin' on up in such a Rush?
🎬 Is "A Hard Day's Night" to the 60's what "From Justin To Kelly" is to the 00's?
🧸 Is it time for poor Paddington to start a Hims subscription?
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Head. Some would argue it's not just a married birthday treat, but also the greatest rock film ever made. Others, like the UBP, contend that the 🐐 is 1964's "A Hard Day's Night", now in color, only on TBS.
This incredible film has lived on at Beatlefest, every imaginable home video incarnation, and a few important theatrical rereleases. It remains the cultural pilar of the Fabs early worldwide domination. Sixty years later, It holds up impeccably well as a musical, a social comment, a madcap comedy, a damn-near documentary, and a fun excuse to hear pitched-down versions of Beatles standards and wonder if you're losing your mind.
Tony and T.J. are more mad about this film than Paul Reiser was about Helen Hunt. (And who says our references aren't topical and 💯 Beatley? YOKO freaking guest starred, fellow Beatle weirdos!)But they have a few other queries, tight a$:
🍺 Is the Heineken Beatles cassette from 1986 a good thing, or a dangerous prelude to U2 hate-gifting that bad U2 album to everyone with an iPhone?
📼 Is MPI Home Video a good thing, or a dangerous prelude to Calderstone, a corporate Beatles entity neither Tony nor T.J. fully understand?
🐖 Is Jewel merging with Mariano's a good thing, or a dangerous prelude to Sarah McLachlan merging with Piggly Wiggly?
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