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The Washington Post wouldn't do it but Yes We Canada sure will. This is our endorsement for president of the United States of America.
But because we are the Swiss Army Knife of political satire podcasting we will also touch lightly on the size of Arnold Palmer's penis, pet eating and other critical issues facing the American electorate. -
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We've been reading the polling in this US election cycle and it looks like Black is the new orange! Donald Trump may be creating a new Black job in Washington DC and we're back to tell you all about it!
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Well, it's a "major announcement" and if we told you right here what it was, why would you listen to the episode? You know, just because we've dedicated our entire working lives to writing stupid podcast promos doesn't mean we haven't thought this through.
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My dear American progressives,
You know when you get all frustrated with your country and say shit like, "that's it, I'm moving to Canada?" Well, 'movin' to Canada is not as easy as it sounds.
But because we are so grateful for your support and so tremendously concerned about your future, you know, once Trump gets re-elected and frees the 700 January 6th 'hostages/political prisoners', we thought you might need some legal counsel . So we booked you a lawyer, on us. -
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Tucker Carlson, American "journalist" decides it's time to fly to Calgary to "liberate" Canada and then jet to Moscow have a "serious talk" with Russian President V. Putin. Much hilarity ensues.
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Oh, my Americans y’all love your renegades. Your mavericks on a mission. Your rebels in resistance. Y’all love an armed, chiselled man, on a quest for redemption, to hell with “corporate” and their petty, girly boy, rules.
America…where insubordination r …us.
Which, in an odd kinda way, explains why, over 9 million people who voted for Obama in 2012 up and decided to vote for Trump in 2016. Cuz y’all love an outsider… no matter what they believe in.
Yep, Trump gave the middle finger to the man, then he became the man, acted liked a child, and now he’s giving the middle finger to the man so he can become the man again.
They voted for Obama, then, they voted fer Trump. The mainstream media called them Swingers. I call ‘em something else.
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There are upstanding Conservatives, staunch Republicans, proud “Never Trumpers” or perhaps we should say; “Never Again, Trumpers” and they’re hurting.
They lay their weary anti-woke heads on their pillows at night and dream of Nikki Haley being inaugurated as president on January 20th 2025.
Now, gosh, we're sorry to pop your right-wing patriotic bubble… but we're afraid that the Future Felon in Chief - Donny J. is the one who who’ll be representing Republicans on election day and likely raising his tiny right hand on Jan. 20, 2025
So, it is not without some tenderness and sympathy that I say to you…my conservative friends – “hey, partner… y’all might want to think of bustin’ a move to Canada”.
To all our country club Republicans: our Bush Boys, our King Ronnie acolytes, and our McCain Mavericks, the past two seasons of this podcast, Yes We Canada, have not been about you, no, in fact, you’ve been excluded.
So, to our anti-MAGA Republicans… this one’s for you! Your very own episode of: Yes, We Canada… Reactionary Edition.COMMENTS QUESTIONS COMPLAINTS:
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In the United States of America, the law and order party currently has a law and order problem. Looks like the Republican nominee for president is wanted on 91 felony counts in four states. Simultaneously his businesses are in civil court in New York, losing on fraud and financial misdoings charges, just like his charities and his um, University. There are so many misdoings a foot that our boy Donny John might just be misdone. His indicted co-conspirators are starting to flip like breakfast pancakes and he’s hemorrhaging green to pay the legal team. The one-man crime spree of Donald J. Trump might just be on his way to the Big House.
From the White House to the Big house. Cue the music: Jail to the chief.
Helicopter Prison Break Raw Footage:
https://globalnews.ca/video/2581405/raw-dramatic-saint-jerome-prison-escape -
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2022 What a year! Fugetaboudit. Never too soon to review 2022! Arghhhhhhhhh. Come on! You can do it. We make it fun and it's the last episode of season two! We're gonna miss you guys!
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Matt was on assignment in the US and guest host Mio Adilman booked a big one! God makes his second appearance on Yes We Canada for an in depth interview on the Presidential field for 2024, living voters voting for dead candidates, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and a few never before heard insights into the Jewish religion from someone who oughta know... the big guy, himself, opens up in this exclusive interview and he's some wrathy.
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You’ve heard of “The Great Replacement Theory “right?
No? Let me rephrase that… you’ve heard of the right’s great replacement theory… correct? Right?
The Jews and other democratic elites are trying to change the electorate by importing immigrants who will vote for democratic policies, like big government spending. Cuz we all know how the Jews like big spending right?
Tucker Carlson, George Soros on line one from Martha's Vineyard. -
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Wokies and Wokettes,
Huge booking on the show today...a feature interview with God. He's been listening to YouTube clips of Marjorie Taylor Green, Ted Cruz, Alex Jones and Lauren Bobert and they are bringing the wrath of God. In fact, I've never heard him this wrathy. -
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Progressives, I read books about Mike Pence so you don’t have to… You’re welcome.
You see Mike was your vice president for four years. You may not have noticed him, he was usually sitting ever slightly behind President Donald J. Trump’s right shoulder, staring beatifically off into the middle distance, his brow slightly furrowed, his expression one of deep admiration as his leader spoke, and told yet another lie to the American people.
Michael Richard Pence, former vice president of the United States, former governor of Indiana, former congressman from Indiana’s second district – Christian, conservative, Republican, newly minted American Hero.
Then what happened? -
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The Canadian Military is in the midst of a full blown sexual misconduct crisis. It has been going on for years. Now, you might think “crisis” is a little journalistic hyperbole, a little “click bait” to keep y’all listening? Oh, no, check this out… in 2016 and 2017, seven former members of the CAF brought a class action lawsuit against the Government of Canada alleging sexual misconduct, sexual assault, discrimination based on sexual orientation, gender identity and the list goes on… and on.
You know how many CAF members signed on to the class action suit? 19, 000! Nineteen thousand, not a typo, nineteen thousand. The government has agreed to a 900 million dollar settlement and has already paid out 2379 claims.
On today's pod we look at the his-story and you'll be introduced to the two women who have said; that's it, that's all...
You will laugh and then you will cry.With contributions from Mio Adilman, Lisa Evans, Lyne Tremblay, Chris Leon and Doug Wilde.
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Deplorables… you have now become …delusionals. When you had a tough time selling the triumvirate attack of Antifa / Black Lives Matter / FBI on the Capitol, you pivoted to your “normal tourist visit” narrative which also turned out to be troublesome because of the avalanche of video showing your Trump clad " tourists" beating cops like blood thirsty barbarians. So, you pivoted yet again and started calling your insurrection ; “legitimate political discourse”.
Discourse? Of course.
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Americans! Hello, Bonjour, welcome to season two.
Let’s get you up to date. When we last spoke, in May of 2021, Trump supporters were claiming that the January 6th insurrection at the Capitol was actually executed by the FBI in a joint venture with Black Lives Matter and Antifa who were false flagging the riot by masquerading in Trump merch. Wow a lot of BS to unpack there, no? And that’s not all…
A lot has happened in America since our last episode in Season 1… the Corona Virus raged, gun violence was out of control, Afghanistan was overrun by the Taliban who rebranded and now claimed they were “like kinda cool with chicks having equal rights, as long as they don’t like work outside the home, go to school or play sports”. And US president Joe… Manchin wasn’t getting anything done for the progressives.
Your Republicans have been hard at work desperately trying to fix a voter fraud problem that doesn’t exist and won’t go away. And gerrymandering and legislation that restricts voters rights has replaced rodent huntin’ as the new redneck pastime. It seems hard to believe if you live in the fact-based world, but Trump supporters are still claiming that all those white people who stormed the capitol were either Patriots engaging in “legitimate political discourse” or drug ravaged Antifi members.
So, yep, you’re still moving North…hello, bonjour, welcome to Canada. You’re going to trade your so-called democracy for a social democracy.
Keep on truckin’ eh?
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The British Columbians are masters at running “pirate economies”. Centuries before the current BC Bud enterprise was launched, the fur trade was a huge part of the BC economy when the Europeans arrived in the home of the First Nations with lots of arrogant ambition and a buffet of epidemics. That was followed by a few slightly sleazy gold rushes and then some pretty dedicated exploitation of the Japanese, Chinese and other Asians. During prohibition in the U.S., B.C. became the liquor hub for the west coast of the U.S. We’ve been keeping you guys stoned and drunk for decades.
You’ re welcome.
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