Episoder
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You picked a major at eighteen, and somehow that one decision still gets to decide what you are allowed to do with the rest of your life.
In this catch-up, Lorissa and Alex get into leaving corporate, translating those skills into something of your own, and why the systems that actually stick are the ones built around how your brain works instead of someone else's.
What We Cover
β Why the major you picked at eighteen is not the lane you are stuck in, and how Lorissa and Alex each rebuilt a corporate skill set into something of their own
β Lorissa on launching Lorissa's List before it was ready, and why a messy first version beats waiting for perfect
β Why most task systems fall apart by Friday, and what makes one finally stick
CEO Mode
By the end of this one, Alex is describing the exact system she has taught one-on-one for years, the one that gets your whole life, work and home, out of your head and into one place you actually trust. It is now a course called CEO Mode, built to do what Lorissa and Alex talk about in this episode, working with how your brain actually operates instead of fighting it. You sit down for an afternoon and build the whole thing.
π CEO Mode
Connect With Us
Lorissa Violet
lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet
Alex Payetta
alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta
Timestamps
0:00 Welcome back, and why this one is a catch-up0:15 Lorissa's List, and the corporate job it traces back to2:15 Taking your skills out of corporate without making the job your identity4:16 Alex on turning Fortune 500 systems work into coaching women4:50 You are not stuck in the lane you picked at eighteen6:06 Getting fired, and why the next thing comes in phases7:18 Launching Lorissa's List before it was ready9:08 The brand-content year that did not work, and playing to your strengths10:14 Phase two of Lorissa's List and learning by shipping11:08 Life update: five days solo with the kids12:37 Alex on building CEO Mode13:36 Getting the mental load out of your head15:22 Why Asana works for life at home too18:28 Build around your brain, not someone else's -
By the time you fall into bed at the end of the day, your body has nothing left. Not for affection, not for intimacy, not for the part of your relationship that used to be effortless. Nobody told you this was the trade.
Cindy Scharkey has been an OB/GYN nurse for almost 40 years, and what she kept hearing from women is that nobody is having this conversation. So she started having it.
What You'll Learn
β The "one tank of energy" reality and why your sex life is the first thing it drains
β Why scheduling sex doesn't work the way most couples do it (and what does)
β What "responsive desire" is, and why most women have been measuring against the wrong thing their whole lives
Take the Quiz
Cindy says it's almost never desire that's the real problem. It's the CONDITIONS for desire, and those conditions don't exist when your body's been stuck in fight-or-flight all day. The Stress Loop quiz takes 2 minutes to name which of the four loops is keeping your body in stress mode, plus the morning move that breaks it.
π https://alexpayetta.com/quiz
Connect With Us
Lorissa Violet
lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet
Alex Payetta
alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta
Cindy Scharkey, RN
cindyscharkey.com | @cindyscharkey
Mentioned in This Episode
Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden β Cindy's book, written like a self-guided retreat with journaling prompts and exercises for any age and stagePermission for Pleasure podcast β Cindy's podcast, short topical episodes good for couples to listen to togetherUberlube β Cindy's recommended lube. Code CINDY for 15% offGina Ogden's "turn-ons and turn-offs" framework β the foundational exercise Cindy uses with every woman she works withThe "yes / no / maybe" communication framework β Cindy's low-pressure way to start the conversation with a partnerTimestamps
0:00 Why this conversation, why now
1:30 Cindy's background and why she started talking about this publicly
6:00 The "one tank of energy" β sex pulls from the same well as everything else
10:00 Responsive vs spontaneous desire (and why the movies lied)
15:00 Scheduling intimacy without it feeling like a chore
20:00 The 4% change that brings desire back
25:00 The fear-of-pregnancy "hand brake" nobody talks about
30:00 Decentering intercourse β what "sex" can actually mean
35:00 Where to start when you don't know where to start
40:00 Why painful sex isn't normal, and the lube conversation
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Mangler du episoder?
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Sometimes you're in the rhythm and everything feels good. Sometimes the rhythm breaks and you have to rebuild the whole thing. In this catch-up, one of us is in each season.
Alex and Lorissa catch up on where they each actually are right now.. one of them in the most grounded season she's had in a while, one of them hitting a wall and re-working how she runs her week. The conversation wanders into the Emma Grede "three-hour mom" debate, the judgment between working moms and stay-at-home moms, and why kids turn out how they turn out regardless of what we do.
What We Cover
β The moment Lorissa realized compounding Fridays was never going to catch her up
β The Emma Grede "three-hour mom" take and the problem with judging other parents' choices
β Why Lorissa's third baby year has felt completely different than her first two
Connect With Us
Alex Payetta
alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta
Lorissa Violet
lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet
Timestamps
0:00 Alex's "I feel lucky all the time" season
2:15 Morning gratitude walks with a 4-year-old
3:48 Lorissa hits a wall, Lorissa's List takes off, and the one-day-a-week model breaks
6:30 Why being particular means being involved
8:10 Not blending work and kids, even when the baby is just chilling
11:22 Third-baby year: why time actually feels slower this time
14:05 The Emma Grede three-hour mom debate
17:40 Judgment between working moms and stay-at-home moms
20:18 The friend whose stay-at-home mom couldn't let them travel
22:00 Nature versus nurture, and kids who turn out great anyway
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You keep trying new supplements, new workouts, new morning routines, and something still feels off. The thing nobody is checking is usually the thing running underneath all of it.
Dr. Sam Riley is back for round two. This time we go deep on blood sugar.. why it sits at the root of hair loss, insomnia, weight that won't budge, hormone issues, fertility struggles, and the anxiety that seems to come out of nowhere.
What You'll Learn
β The everyday symptom most women write off as "just hangry" that's actually a red flag for something much bigger
β Why intermittent fasting is making a huge group of women feel worse, and how to know if you're in that group
β The four foods Dr. Sam pulls first when someone says "I've tried everything and nothing is working"
β What a continuous glucose monitor actually shows you in two weeks (and why the first week you shouldn't change a thing)
β The protein number that makes women's jaws hit the floor, and the math that makes it doable
β How food order at a single meal can completely change the way your body responds
Wake Up Different
Dr. Sam kept coming back to the same thing.. consistency with the basics. That's 90% of the work right there. Wake Up Different is the 28-day rebuild that turns the basics.. protein first, regulated, fueled.. from a daily decision into your default.
π https://alexpayetta.com/wakeupdifferent
Connect With Us
Lorissa Violet
lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet
Alex Payetta
alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta
Dr. Sam Riley
drsamriley.com | @dr.samriley
Mentioned in This Episode
Ashley Barrett Wellness β Virtual Nutritional Therapy PractitionerDiabetes with Dani β Creator of Conquer Your Diabetes, a Type 1 program for kids and womenCyrex Labs β food sensitivity and autoimmune testingTimestamps
0:00 Why blood sugar is almost every woman's first problem
4:12 Hangry, sweaty, anxious, emotional, the Snickers commercial response
8:45 What a continuous glucose monitor actually tells you
14:20 Hair thinning, insomnia, weight that won't budge
19:08 Cortisol, chronic stress, and the insulin receptor shut-down
24:30 The protein math for women and how to actually hit it
30:15 Food order at a meal and why it completely changes blood sugar response
36:40 PCOS, fertility, and the vegan-to-pregnant story
42:50 Diet Coke culture, carbonation, and what it does to digestion
48:22 The four foods Dr. Sam pulls first
54:10 Kids, tantrums, night waking, and the parasite conversation nobody is having
1:02:05 Workouts, fasting, and fueling your body
1:08:40 Where to actually start today
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Eight months of broken sleep and a head full of shoulds.
This is the mini where Alex talks about sleep-training Scarlett, and the hardest part of it actually being just undoing everything she'd told herself about what she was supposed to do. Lorissa, who's immune to the shoulds, has great advice on how to ignore the conflicting noise.
What We Cover
β Why "what's best for the baby" isn't what you think
β How anti-sleep-training messaging kept Alex questioning her own intuition for eight months straight before she called it
β Why the "shoulds" in motherhood can sneak up on you, and what it means to "be your own camp"
If You're Running on Empty
Alex got through eight months of broken sleep because she had the routines in place to take care of herself. If yours aren't holding, Wake Up Different is the 28-day rebuild.
π alexpayetta.com/wake-up-different
Connect With Us
Lorissa Violet
lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet
Alex Payetta
alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta
Timestamps
0:00 Alex is finally sleeping1:30 Eight months of broken sleep and the home birth community4:00 Co-sleeping, home birth, and why they get tied together7:00 Identity, camps, and the should spiral10:00 Weaning Scarlett and letting the baby decide13:00 "Be your own camp" -
You've tried the charts, the timers, the consequences, the gentle approach, and your kid is still melting down every morning before anyone's out the door. What Randy Free teaches is the middle ground many parents are actually looking for, somewhere between gentle parenting and old-school discipline, and it works for all kid (even neurodivergent ones).
Randy Free is a family counselor and retired international tax partner who spent 30 years in high-pressure corporate environments before building the PEACE-ful Parenting Process for neurodivergent kids and the high-achieving parents trying to figure out what actually works.
What You'll Learn
A simple framework for deciding which battles to fight and which ones to let go, so you stop trying to correct everything at once.What's actually happening in your child's brain during a meltdown, and why your calm matters more than your consequence.The story Randy tells about kicking his own son's door down in anger, and what his son remembered years later (it's not the lesson).Mentioned in This Episode
Randy Free's PEACE-ful Parenting Process at coachtoresilience.comThe PEACE-ful Parenting Self Assessment (free download): https://drive.google.com/file/d/1t5k06pPR-OeTqDBiMIJh_bE4j9phnhra/viewTake the Stress Loop Quiz
This whole episode comes back to how the mom's nervous system sets the tone for the entire house. If you've been running at a pace that leaves no room for patience, that shows up in every interaction with your kids. The Stress Loop quiz helps you figure out where your capacity is actually breaking down so you can start building it back.
alexpayetta.com/quiz
Connect With Us
Alex Payetta at alexpayetta.com and @alexpayetta on Instagram
Lorissa Violet at lorissaviolet.com and @lorissaviolet on Instagram
Timestamps
0:00 Meet Randy Free and his path from tax partner to parenting counselor
2:45 The PEACE acronym and how peaceful parenting differs from gentle parenting
6:30 The parenting quadrant, choosing your battles with red, blue, green, and yellow
12:15 Alex and Lorissa on the consistency struggle between partners
18:00 Nature vs. nurture and how neurodivergent brains process emotions differently
23:30 Mirror neurons and why your kids absorb your stress
29:00 The volcano exercise for teaching kids their own warning signs
35:00 Repairing after you lose your temper
40:45 When kids question authority and where to draw the line
48:00 Over-scheduling and what transitions do to a child's nervous system
55:00 Structure vs. flexibility for neurodivergent kids
1:00:00 Parenting a highly intelligent child who is emotionally behind
1:05:00 How to work with Randy and where to find him
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Nobody warns you that getting dressed postpartum is going to make you cry before church.
Lorissa and Alex talk about body changes after kids, the identity shift that comes with them, and what actually helps.
What We Cover:
- The postpartum closet meltdown nobody warns you about and why it costs you more than time
- How Lorissa went from always being "the smallest" to gaining 80 lbs and completely rebuilding her relationship with her body
- The one closet move that stopped mornings from turning into a full emotional spiral
Connect With Us:
Alex Payetta:
https://www.instagram.com/alexpayetta/ and www.alexpayetta.com
Lorissa Violet:
https://www.instagram.com/lorissaviolet/ and https://www.lorissaviolet.com
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Two moms break down every system they use to run their households, businesses, and families without losing their minds.
If you've ever felt like you're doing a million things and none of it is running smoothly, this one's for you.
What You'll Learn
β The weekly rhythm that replaced seven nightly "what's for dinner" spirals with one 30-minute decision
β How a $75/week hire fits into a system that runs your entire household without you holding every piece
β The thing Alex does every single day that most people don't even know exists, and it's saving her hours
Grab the Free Guide
Everything we talked about in this episode comes back to one thing: knowing where your time is actually going so you can take it back. Alex put together a free guide called "4 Proven Strategies to Get Back 10 Hours Every Week" that walks you through the exact audit and filtering process she uses with every single client. If this episode fired you up, start here.
π https://alexpayetta.com/createtime
Connect With Us
Alex Payetta
https://alexpayetta.com | https://www.instagram.com/alexpayetta/
Lorissa Violet
https://lorissaviolet.com | https://www.instagram.com/lorissaviolet/
Mentioned in This Episode
Butcher Box https://www.butcherbox.com
Thrive Market https://www.thrivemarket.com/lorissa
Mixbook https://www.mixbook.com
Whisper Flow https://whisperflow.com
Resonant https://resonant.app
The Short Years https://theshortyears.com
Asana https://asana.com
Timestamps
0:00 Life updates (Japan, South by Southwest, sleep struggles)
12:00 Meal systems and why we eat the same thing every day
19:24 Why Lorissa picks sleep over the 5:30 AM workout
23:31 Buying back your time before anything else
26:45 Revenge bedtime procrastination
37:03 What happened when a client got a task management system
44:00 The $75/week part-time assistant breakdown
57:00 Car bins, mudroom staging, diaper bag systems
62:00 Kids artwork system that keeps memories without clutter
68:42 Why Lorissa starts every day praying for discernment
76:36 How AI is changing the way Alex runs her business
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We have our first guest ever on the pod, Dr. Sam Riley. He's a chiropractor who practices frequency medicine, which means he looks at the whole person: structural, emotional, and biochemical.
We get into why "fixing your nervous system" might be missing the point, what's actually behind high cortisol and that tired-but-wired feeling, and why emotions show up in the body more than most people realize.
What we cover:
β Dr. Sam's origin story (and the moment he walked out of his allergist's office at 14)
β What frequency medicine actually is and how it differs from Western medicine
β Why your nervous system might be doing exactly what it's supposed to do
β The connection between emotions and physical symptoms
β Alex's fertility journey and what shifted when she addressed a subconscious block
β High cortisol, fight or flight, and the "tired but wired" cycle
β Blood sugar, hydration, and mineralsβthe foundations most people skip
β Why working on emotional trauma is just as important as seeing a chiropractor
β Practical takeaways for high-achieving women who can't overhaul their lives overnight
Hosted by @LorissaViolet and @AlexPayetta
Links:
To find Alex:
β Follow @alexpayetta https://www.instagram.com/alexpayetta/
β Download Free Guide How to get 10+ Hours Back / Week https://alexpayetta.myflodesk.com/createtime
β Learn more about at www.alexpayetta.com
To find Lorissa:
β Follow @lorissaviolet
β LORISSAVIOLET.com
To find Dr. Sam Riley:
β Dr. Sam Riley on Instagram: @dr.samriley
β Book with Dr. Sam: www.RileyChiro.com
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We're back for Episode 2, and today we're getting into delegation - why it's so hard for high achievers, where perfectionism sneaks in, and how to figure out what to hold close versus what to let go.
We also go off on some tangents (as we do) about childhood, how our pasts shape our parenting, what it means to keep growing instead of chasing "perfect," and why nothing has to be permanent.
What we cover:
β Why the most successful people struggle the most with delegating
β The two buckets for deciding what to outsource
β How we approach childcare completely differently (and why both work)
β The real reason perfectionism keeps you stuck
β The myth of "balance" and why gray area is the goal
Hosted by @LorissaViolet and @AlexPayetta
To find Alex:
β Follow @alexpayetta https://www.instagram.com/alexpayetta/
β Download Free Guide How to get 10+ Hours Back / Week https://alexpayetta.myflodesk.com/createtime
β Learn more about at www.alexpayetta.com
To find Lorissa:
β Follow @lorissaviolet
β LORISSAVIOLET.com
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To find Alex:
β Learn more about private coaching: https://alexpayetta.com/private-coaching
β Get clear on your finances with The Money Map: https://alexpayetta.com/money-map
β Follow her on Instagram @alexpayetta https://www.instagram.com/alexpayetta/
To find Lorissa:
LORISSAVIOLET.com
@lorissaviolet
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