Episoder
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What should you do when your partner wonât engage, even after you've committed to recovery? In this April Mailbag episode, the hosts discuss the emotional complexities of healing after betrayalâespecially when the wounded partner closes off. From the importance of empathy letters and impact processing to resisting defensiveness and building emotional resilience, conversation gives insight is a must-listen for anyone walking the rocky path of relational repair. Even if the door feels closed, how you show up can shape what happens next.
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In this thought-provoking April Mailbag episode, the hosts unpack a listener's email that dives into the painful space between recovery and reconnection. Why do some partners struggle to re-engage even when the addict is âdoing the workâ? Is it unresolved trauma, unspoken resentment, or just the truth of incompatibility? With candid insights into addiction, healing, and the emotional toll of long-term damage, this reflection offers a powerful reminder: recovery is only part of the story. What happens next is just as criticalâand often more complex.
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Kink. Fetishes. BDSM. Are they expressions of healthy sexualityâor signs of addiction and unresolved trauma? In this powerful and nuanced conversation, Dr. Stefanie Carnes joins the Conversations on Sex Addiction and Relationships team to unpack what kink really means, how it intersects with sex addiction, betrayal trauma, and recovery, and what therapists and couples need to know when navigating arousal templates, consent, and communication. Whether you're in recovery, partnered with someone who is, or simply curious, this is the kink conversation most are afraid to haveâuntil now.
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What happens when non-traditional sexual behavior, recovery, and relationship dynamics intersect? In this 3.5-minute deep dive, Dr. Stefanie Carnes explores the delicate balance of reintroducing sexual expression in relationships impacted by sex addiction and betrayal trauma. From managing arousal templates and consent, to honoring recovery boundaries and partner triggers, this conversation opens up crucial dialogue for couples and clinicians alike. Tune in to find out more.
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Is kinky sexual behaviors a healthy sexual expression or a sign of addiction? In just 2.5 minutes, Dr. Stefanie Carnes unpacks the critical difference between kink and compulsive sexual behavior. Whether you're a therapist, someone exploring your sexuality, or simply curious, this short but powerful conversation tackles the intersection of healthy sexuality, fetish, BDSM, and when it might cross the line into addiction. Donât miss this essential guide to understanding what the difference isâand what might be an escalation driven by addiction.
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Is there a "right" time to make amends in sex addiction recovery? What if the person in recovery isnât following the 12-step modelâor isnât âthere yetâ? In this heartfelt discussion, we explore how true amends are less about perfection and more about presence, intention, and accountability.This episode breaks down what âliving amendsâ really meansâhow small, consistent, and humble actions can begin to repair trust even before a formal ninth step. We also look at how couples navigate the tension between healing timelines, what good recovery looks like even without a program, and why itâs never too early to take ownership of harm.If youâre wondering how to start showing up for your partner, even while still figuring things out yourself, this episode offers clarity and hope from a place of honesty and grace.
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What happens to children when they grow up in a household shaped by addiction, betrayal, and emotional absence? In this emotional and raw conversation, we explore the long-term impact of sex addiction on kidsâand what parents can do today to help stop the cycle. Through lived experience and clinical insight, the discussion touches on how a parentâs unhealed shame, absence, or addictionâwhether itâs to substances, sex, or emotional avoidanceâcan lead to deep developmental wounds in their children. Even when unintentional, the emotional neglect, rage, and instability create a lasting imprint. This episode is a call for healingâfor parents to begin their own recovery journey, to understand the power of safety, emotional regulation, and honest repair. Because healing your inner world can change how your children experience theirs. #TherapistTalks #MentalHealthMatters #Hidden #CulleL.VandeGarde
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Making amends isnât just a stepâitâs a way of living. In this powerful and honest conversation, the hosts explore what it truly means to make amends in sex addiction recovery, especially when it comes to relationships. From the early days of confusion and disclosure to those pivotal âahaâ moments when empathy finally lands, this episode breaks down the real heart behind the amends process.
Together, we discuss:
When is the right time to make amends?
What does a living amends actually look like?
How can you repair relational damage when the hurt runs deep?
Why waiting for the perfect moment could do more harm than good
This episode offers both betrayed partners and addicts a grounded, compassionate understanding of how to rebuild trustânot just through apologies, but through humble, consistent change.
If youâre on a recovery journey or supporting someone who is, this is the insight youâve been waiting for.
#MakingAmends #LivingAmends #SexAddictionRecovery #BetrayalTrauma #RelationshipHealing #12StepRecovery #TrustRepair #HealingTogether #HumilityInRecovery #RecoveryJourney #TherapistTalks #EmotionalRepair #AddictionSupport
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In sex addiction recovery, thereâs a momentâoften unexpectedâwhen everything shifts and the addict really "gets it". The defenses fall, empathy clicks into place, and for the first time, the betrayed partner feels truly seen and heard. This episode dives deep into that momentâthe turning point in recovery when an addict can finally make meaningful amends.Join us as we explore how amends arenât just about apologies, but about transformation, timing, and truly taking responsibilityânot only for the betrayal itself, but for the emotional aftermath during recovery. From the addictâs growth process to the partnerâs need for safety and repair, we break down what genuine, healing amends look like.Whether youâre in the midst of recovery or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers real insight, validation, and hope for building something stronger on the other side of broken trust.#MakingAmends #SexAddictionRecovery #BetrayalTrauma #LivingAmends #RelationshipHealing #CouplesInRecovery #TraumaInformedCare #12StepRecovery #HealingTogether #InfidelityRecovery #EmotionalHealing #TherapistTalks #RecoveryJourney #SexAddiction
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What does it really mean to make amends after betrayal? In this deeply vulnerable and honest episode, therapists explore the amends process from both the addictâs perspective and the betrayed partnerâs experience. It's not just about apologies or flowersâitâs about understanding the full emotional impact, taking responsibility, and learning how to rebuild trust over time.
We unpack the emotional weight behind amends in sex addiction recovery, why it canât be rushed, and how true healing requires empathy, accountability, and a whole lot of humility. If youâve ever asked, âHow do I make things right after breaking trust?â â this conversation is for you.
Whether youâre on your own recovery journey or supporting someone through theirs, this episode offers a grounded, compassionate perspective on one of the hardest parts of the healing process.
#SexAddictionRecovery #AmendsProcess #BetrayalTrauma #RelationshipHealing #MakingAmends #RecoveryJourney #TraumaInformedCare #12StepRecovery #EmotionalHealing #AccountabilityMatters #TherapistTalks #HealingFromInfidelity #TrustRecovery
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What happens when you grow up in a home where sex addiction, secrecy, and emotional disconnection define the family dynamic? In this intimate conversation, the author of Light in the Dark: The Hidden Legacy of Adult Children of Sex Addicts share how the book came to lifeâand why it's opening doors for healing across generations.Featuring Culle L. Vande Garde, one of the co-authors and a certified sex addiction therapist, this episode explores the 12 core characteristics of adult children of sex addicts, the invisible weight of carried shame, and what it truly means to reclaim your voice, your story, and your right to healing.Whether youâre a clinician, a survivor, or someone trying to make sense of your past, this discussion brings clarity, compassion, and hope. Learn how shame gets passed down, what recovery really looks like, and how to begin rewriting your narrativeâone truth at a time.#LightInTheDarkBook #AdultChildrenOfSexAddicts #GenerationalHealing #CarriedShame #SexAddictionRecovery #TraumaAwareness #FamilyOfOriginWork #EmotionalHealing #BreakingTheCycle #ShameResilience #InnerChildHealing #RecoveryJourney #TherapistTalks #MentalHealthMatters #Hidden #Culle L.VandeGarde
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Today we talk about the concept of "carried shame"âa form of inherited emotional pain that can follow us from childhood into our adult lives. Through powerful storytelling and deep clinical insight, we explore the difference between healthy shame and carried shame, and how upbringing, parenting styles, and unspoken family dynamics shape our sense of self-worth.Featuring a vulnerable account from someone who began their healing journey as a young adult, this conversation brings clarity to a topic many of us feel but rarely name. If youâve ever questioned why certain triggers run deep, or why you carry guilt that doesnât feel like yours, this episode is for you.Itâs time to unpack the emotional contagion we absorb from our environmentâand learn how true healing begins with awareness, self-compassion, and the courage to repair.#CarriedShame #EmotionalHealing #ChildhoodTrauma #GenerationalShame #CodependencyRecovery #InnerChildHealing #MentalHealthMatters #ShameResilience #TherapyJourney #SelfWorth #HealingFromWithin #ParentingAndHealing #TraumaAwareness
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Today we speak on the long-term impact of sex addiction on children who grow up in hypersexualized households - a topic rarely discussed, but deeply important.We discuss the 12 characteristics of being an adult child of a sex addict.Whether you're a therapist, someone in recovery, or just curious about how family dynamics and hidden trauma can shape us, this episode offers education, validation, and a call for more open, compassionate conversations.#SexAddictionRecovery #TraumaBonding #GenerationalHealing #MentalHealthAwareness #ACSA #TherapyTalk #ChildhoodTrauma #FamilyDynamics #EmotionalHealing #ShameRecovery #SexualHealth #TherapistLife #HealingJourney
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Why do so many people struggling with addiction also struggle with avoidance? In this deep dive, we explore how avoidance manifests in addiction, relationships, and emotional healingâand why overcoming it is critical for long-term recovery.Avoidance may have once been a coping mechanism, but in addiction and relationships, it often leads to more harm than protection. How can individuals recognize their patterns and move towards true healing?
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Is avoidance at the root of sex and love addiction? In this episode, we explore how different attachment styles influence addiction and why avoidanceâwhether emotional, relational, or physicalâplays a significant role in both addiction and intimacy disorders. Many struggling with addiction are unconsciously protecting themselves from deeper pain. But how does this avoidance impact their relationships, and what steps can they take to break free from these patterns?
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Is avoidance a core trait of addiction? In this discussion, we explore how avoidance manifests in sex addiction and other compulsive behaviorsâwhether it's emotional avoidance, distraction, or withdrawing from relationships and responsibilities. Many people struggling with addiction use avoidance as a way to escape pain, fear, and emotional discomfort. But is avoidance the same as distraction? And how can breaking this pattern lead to real healing? #AddictionRecovery #Avoidance #MentalHealth #EmotionalHealing #Sobriety
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"Welcome to our February Mailbag episode, where we tackle your most pressing questions on addiction, therapy, and relationships! đŹ
In this discussion, we cover:đč Does skipping 12-step programs increase relapse risk?đč Should addicts share what they discuss in therapy with their partners?đč Can privacy and transparency coexist in recovery?đč When is divorce the right choice after betrayal?đč The impact of group therapy vs. individual therapy in long-term healing.
We dive deep into the complexities of sobriety, trust, and relational healing. Whether youâre navigating recovery, supporting a loved one, or seeking clarity on relationship dynamics, this episode is packed with valuable insights!
Got more questions? Drop them in the comments or email us at [email protected].
#AddictionRecovery #Therapy #12StepProgram #RelationshipHealing #MentalHealth"
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When it comes to addiction recovery, how much transparency should there be between partners? Should an addict share what theyâre working on in therapy, at their 12 step meetings, or is it a private space for personal growth?While therapy is a personal journey, shutting out a partner completely can create barriers to healing. How can couples navigate this balance for a healthier relationship?#AddictionRecovery #Transparency #TrustInRelationships #MentalHealth #Sobriety #SexAddiction #BetrayalTrauma
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Is attending a 12-step program essential for addiction recovery, or can therapy alone be enough? In this episode, we break down the key factors that contribute to long-term sobriety and discuss the role of community, therapy, and personal commitment in preventing relapse.This episode is answering our a mailbag question. Send your questions to [email protected]. We will answer them!#AddictionRecovery #12StepProgram #RelapsePrevention #Sobriety #MentalHealth
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Technology is evolving rapidly, making our lives easier, saving us time and energy. But as we gain more convenience, are we losing meaningful human connection?
While technology offers incredible opportunitiesâlike remote work and online therapyâit also challenges our ability to connect authentically. How do we embrace its benefits without falling into disconnection? #Technology #DigitalAge #TechAddiction #HumanConnection #MentalHealth #SexAddiction
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