Episoder
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Are you stuck in regret? Ruminating on past decisions? Overthinking choices you could have (or "should have") made differently, and imagining how life would be different right now?
Whether you're mad about something TODAY because of last week or you're contemplating your entire LIFE, this episode will help you.
In all 140 episodes, #29 has received the most feedback - so let's bring it back to the top of the list! This is a revisit of #29: The Cure for "If only" agony.
Essentially, we're talking about why we get stuck in thinking about the "Coulda Woulda Shoulda."
Where we could today be if we'd only done X yesterdayHow we wouldn't feel this year if we only hadn't done Y ten years agoWhat life should look like because things shoulda gone differentlyIt's a kind of singularly crappy pain to wholeheartedly believe things would be better...you would be happier or more successful...IF ONLY you'd decided X instead of Y.
But this thinking is a trap — and you need to know how to get out of it.
LINKS!
What's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Want to know your options for working together? Book your free no-strings consultation -
In this week's revisit episode, we're talking about being BEHIND.
But we're NOT talking about how to catch up on the mountains of stuff you're behind on.
No time management — No delegating — No uber-efficient productivity plans.
In reality, those are all Tylenol. 💊
Sometimes they help make the pain go away.
But they never address the root cause of the problem. Which means it has full permission to keep showing up, for the rest of time.
And we really don't want that because...thinking "I'M BEHIND" every second of the day feels terrible.
So in this episode, I challenge the entire notion of "behind." 🤯
I ask some questions that may bend your brain a bit.
And then I ask some questions that just might set you free.
In my experience, no one's life (or career) has EVER exploded when they let go of the idea of "I'm behind." So that's what I propose we do.
You just might take back control of your workload, your pace and your sense of inner peace — worth it!
LINKS!
THROUGH JAN 27 ONLY! Commit to 2025 goals YEAR-ROUND with Quarterly Private CoachingMore episodes on BEING/FEELING BEHIND:#38: When You're Constantly Disappointed with Yourself#84: Ditch the "I'm Behind" Mindset (for good)#85: Part 1: The Problems You Really Need To Solve if You Always Feel Behind#86: Part 2: The Problems You Really Need To Solve if You Always Feel BehindWhat's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Want to know your options for working together? Book your free no-strings consultation -
Mangler du episoder?
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This may be a revisit of a previous episode (#121), but January is a perfect time to update your Core Values!
Whether you're going through a big life change or you've simply experienced an internal "season shift," now is a great time to check in and update your Core Values.
The best questions I can offer to make this easy are:
What do I want influencing my choices right now?Three months from now, what will I be happy having done / tended do / avoided?In this episode, I walk you through my own conversation with myself (on a dog walk) during which I updated my Core Values — YES it can be that easy!
I remind you of the guidelines of crafting your Core Values, and let you know how to get the most out of them.
So you can make the best, most aligned, trustworthy choices going forward, and create the life you really want!
LINKS!
THROUGH JAN 27 ONLY! Commit to 2025 goals YEAR-ROUND with Quarterly Private CoachingWhat's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Want to know your options for working together? Book your free no-strings consultation -
We hear a lot about physical fitness around New Year's, but what about mental fitness?
Particularly — making the most of your mental ENERGY?
Today we're covering 3 ways you're going to save mental energy this year, so you can redirect it to things worthwhile (you know...like your hopes, dreams, health and dog cuddles).
Here are three mental energy wasters you're going to let go of (and what to do instead):
Agonizing over other people's choicesRuminating (yes, you can stop, I swear!)"Thinking" about thingsLINKS!
THROUGH JAN 27 ONLY! Commit to 2025 goals YEAR-ROUND with Quarterly Private CoachingWhat's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Want to know your options for working together? Book your free no-strings consultation -
We all love a good goal-setting sesh at New Year's, right?
But are you setting the BEST goals?
And are you setting yourself up to succeed or fail?
There are 4 keys to setting goals you'll truly love achieving this year - Here they are!
0:00 Why the "How" Matters 2:12 Key #1 - Set and Specify 5:37 Key #2 - Don't Scale Down! 10:00 Key #3 - Take Action 12:26 Key #4 - Use Your CalendarLINKS!
NEW! Commit to 2025 goals YEAR-ROUND with Quarterly Private CoachingWhat's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Want to know your options for working together? Book your free no-strings consultation -
Want to know my biggest lessons (as a Decision Coach) this year?
Here they are! And they can all help YOU too.
From people-pleasing to defining success, from boundaries to self-trust - Starting next year with these lessons in mind will put you ahead of the game!
0:00 How to Find Your Year's Lessons 2:00 Lesson #1 - Boundaries 4:37 Lesson #2 - Go at Your Pace 8:30 Lesson #3 - Self-Trust 13:17 Lesson #4 - Savoring 15:15 Lesson #5 - Make it Your OwnLINKS!
NEW! Commit to 2025 goals YEAR-ROUND with Quarterly Private CoachingWhat's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Want to know your options for working together? Book your free no-strings consultation -
Get ready to revisit this episode ANY time you need, friend.
Too much to do with not enough time?
Stressing about all of it?
These are the questions to ask yourself! Make sure to listen to all 16 minutes to know how to use them best 'cause when you do, THEY WORK.
What's the goal?Does this have to get done? (Right now / Today?)Do I have to be the one to do it?What would make it easier?What am I assuming?LINKS!
NEW! Commit to 2025 goals YEAR-ROUND with Quarterly Private CoachingWhat's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Want to know your options for working together? Book your free no-strings consultation -
Whether you're worried something will be hard, convinced it will be terrible, or just nervous about how it'll go...
Deciding in advance is a skill you want!
Visualization, confirmation bias and target fixation have powerful influence over what we experience in reality. And they ALL begin in our minds.
This week, I'm teaching a skill I've used to help countless clients not only adopt a more positive, proactive and empowered mindset about something — they've actually used it to CREATE a better experience in the end.
I'm deciding in advance my holiday travel AND my 2025 will both be great.
Care to join me?
LINKS!
NEW! Commit to 2025 goals YEAR-ROUND with Quarterly Private CoachingWhat's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Want to know your options for working together? Book your free no-strings consultation -
Ever agonize over how people will react to what you say?
Does the anticipation of people's reactions ever cause you to change what you share...or even what you do?
I've worked with so many people who make inauthentic decisions because of this fear of what people will think of those choices.
Today, I want to equip you to feel more empowered in these situations - so you can make the decisions you really want to (without waiting or agonizing for so long!).
Listen in for the key to influencing how people react to your news, questions and ideas.
LINKS!
What's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Ready to talk about getting clear, intentional & sure of your choices? Book your free consultationJoin the Alignment and Accountability ClubHire me for two weeks to consciously, confidently work through a decision with the Make a Decision Package -
Happy Thanksgiving, real-time listeners!
Today, and going into the final season of the year, I want to give you two of the most accessible and life-changing tools in the Decision Mastery arsenal:
"Inquiry" (aka "The Work" aka deflating stress)"Savoring" (aka emotionally & neurologically maximizing a good moment)Gratitude can be easy to dismiss as "a habit I never started and won't today, so....oh well" or "a mindset that doesn't come naturally so....meh."
But the two angles on it we explore today — one coming from a stressful experience, one coming from a positive experience — are a new take.
Listen in for these EASY, DOABLE ways to be instantly less stressed -or- more present for the good stuff happening around you.
Enjoy!
LINKS!
What's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Ready to talk about getting clear, intentional & sure of your choices? Book your free consultationJoin the Alignment and Accountability ClubHire me for two weeks to consciously, confidently work through a decision with the Make a Decision PackageByron Katie: The Work (or "Inquiry") ProcessDr. Rick Hanson TEDx Talk: "Hardwiring Happiness" -
Thinking through my recent BIG decision to move (which I made quickly with relatively little friction*), I realized I need to call out some BIG mistakes people can make in situations like these.
*Note: "little friction" does not mean "zero emotions or stress"...those are normal human experiences and we're not selling snake oil here
Here's what I didn't do, that I don't want you to either:
I DIDN'T make "bad feelings" = bad thingsI DIDN'T try to make all the decisions at onceI DIDN'T focus on what I didn't knowAnd I DIDN'T try to keep the stakes low at any costThis episode will help you make your next big choice quickly and confidently.
And if you're in the MIDDLE of a big decision, it'll help you figure out what's creating extra stress right now that you can change!
LINKS!
What's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Ready to talk about getting clear, intentional & sure of your choices? Book your free consultationJoin the Alignment and Accountability ClubHire me for two weeks to consciously, confidently work through a decision with the Make a Decision Package -
Meet the final two Cognitive Tendencies and Biases in our series!
Perspective-Taking and Delayed Gratification. 🙌
This episode will help you better understand:
Why you misinterpret other people's meaningsWhy other people misunderstand what you meanWhy seemingly harmful or illogical choices "make sense"And how to account for these biases so you can make clearer, more intentional choicesLINKS!
What's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Ready to talk about getting clear, intentional & sure of your choices? Book your free consultationJoin the Alignment and Accountability ClubHire me for two weeks to consciously, confidently work through a decision with the Make a Decision Package -
Ok...we have a pretty good sense of Negativity Bias at the surface.
Negative information has a greater impact than positive information, when it comes to cognitive processing.
But do you know exactly how and why this is affecting your decision-making?
Let's continue our series on Cognitive Biases, pulled from a workshop I ran with a previous Coaching Group, to dig into:
The Framing EffectLoss AversionThe Endowment EffectLINKS!
What's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Ready to talk about getting clear, intentional & sure of your choices? Book your free consultationJoin the Alignment and Accountability ClubHire me for two weeks to consciously, confidently work through a decision with the Make a Decision Package -
How often do you assume you know WHY something happened?
How quickly do you land on a conclusion about why something DIDN'T happen?
Turns out, we humans are great at assigning "causes" to things.
We're just not great at getting it right!
In this quick episode, I clue you into the cognitive tendency of Causal Attribution, including where it comes from, how to spot it, and how to make conscious decisions in spite of it!
LINKS!
What's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Ready to talk about getting clear, intentional & sure of your choices? Book your free consultationJoin the Alignment and Accountability ClubHire me for two weeks to consciously, confidently work through a decision with the Make a Decision Package -
You might be familiar with Confirmation Bias.
But do you know how to use it to your advantage?
What about a quick, easy way to make sure you're not being blinded by it?
I've got you covered in this episode. 👍
Listen now to feel instantly more in charge of your thinking and decisions!
LINKS!
What's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Ready to talk about getting clear, intentional & sure of your choices? Book your free consultationJoin the Alignment and Accountability ClubHire me for two weeks with the Make a Decision Package -
We all want to make smart, thoughtful, "rational" decisions, right?
But how do we do that when we're working with a biased brain?
Today's episode is pulled from a Workshop I did for a Decision Masters Coaching Group, where we explored different cognitive biases and tendencies that impact our decision-making daily.
You'll learn:
How the Fluency Effect makes things seem easier than they areWhy the Planning Fallacy might be to blame for you not getting all 27 things done during that "90-minute time block" And how to use the awareness of these biases to your advantage, so you can still remain a human (we don't "conquer" our own wiring!) but also make intentional choices and set yourself up for successLINKS!
What's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Ready to talk about getting clear, intentional & sure of your choices? Book your free consultationJoin the Alignment and Accountability ClubHire me for two weeks with the Make a Decision Package -
Ok. So there's a problem.
Maybe someone's saying it's your fault. Or they're implying it. Or you're just assuming it.
What do you do? Well, if you're like a lot of folks, you go into Auto-Wrong Mode.
You question your right to have an opinion contrary to others...to implement a boundary...to say no to a requestYou assume you're wrong, you've created the problem, and now it's your job to fix itYou lose sight of what you TRULY think, feel, want and needNOT ANYMORE, friend.
I used to ask clients to consider another perspective ("What if this problem has 100% to do with them, and 0% to do with you?") but now - thanks to a brave, wise, empowered young woman - I have this gem of a question:
What if this is an ish-YOU, not an ish-ME?
Listen for how to free yourself from assuming you're in the wrong, and from taking responsibility for being "different" just so there isn't a problem anymore!
LINKS!
What's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Ready to talk about getting clear, intentional & sure of your choices? Book your free consultation for a no-strings conversation about your goals and if this coaching is right for you! -
The idea of deciding something "as an experiment" is appealing because it implies lower stakes and easier commitment, right?
But how do you "experiment" with big life choices that you can't just undo if you change your mind?
In this episode, I explain how you'll benefit from adopting the "Experiment Mindset" more -- and the most effective way to do it!
LINKS!
What's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Ready to talk about getting clear, intentional & sure of your choices? Book your free consultation for a no-strings conversation about your goals and if this coaching is right for you! -
How often do you set a goal - or create a plan to deal with a circumstance - only for it not to work perfectly and for you to end up feeling like a failure who "should've planned better"?
Whether you wanted to "get X done in Y time" or you thought you had a good strategy to deal with "Z situation" - if you don't end up with results you like, you might judge or resent your plan!
It's easy to look at "failed plans" in hindsight through major Judgment Goggles.
But what's the alternative?
This episode breaks down the KEY STEP to executing plans successfully: Assessment
I show you the big mistake people make when they miss a target deadline, or get stuck in a plan for several more months than intended.
And how to avoid it!
LINKS!
What's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Ready to talk about getting clear, intentional & sure of your choices? Book your free consultation for a no-strings conversation about your goals and if this coaching is right for you! -
Whether you're going through a big life change or you've simply experienced an internal "season shift," now is a great time to check in and update your Core Values.
The best questions I can offer to make this easy are:
What do I want influencing my choices right now?Three months from now, what will I be happy having done / tended do / avoided?In this episode, I walk you through my own conversation with myself (on a dog walk) during which I updated my Core Values — since I have a big move coming up and our family's starting a new chapter soon (with Kenny working out of town most of the year and me taking care of our 3 dogs and my business here!).
I remind you of the guidelines of crafting your Core Values, and let you know how to get the most out of them.
So you can make the best, most aligned, trustworthy choices going forward, and create the life you really want!
LINKS!
What's your DECISION STYLE? Take the Quiz!Need to say NO? Here's your 11-minute Crash Course on Saying NO Guilt-Free.Ready to talk about getting clear, intentional & sure of your choices? Book your free consultation for a no-strings conversation about your goals and if this coaching is right for you! - Se mer