Episoder
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Please note: This episode includes a discussion of pregnancy and miscarriage.
Our series on “The Right Kind of Hard” would not be complete without an examination of radical acceptance. It's probably the hardest to do, which makes it the rightest of the hardest to do. Ultimately, I think, the degree of difficulty makes radical acceptance most worthy of our energy and exploration.
How does radical acceptance apply to everything that we've explored so far? Why is it hard? Why do we avoid it? What does it really mean?
When we’re faced with a new reality that we don't like — a reality that hurts — we often try to negotiate with that reality. We focus on what was or what we think should have been, or we create a future that is not based in reality.
Our other option is to recognize that our new reality is the right kind of hard. Only after we allow ourselves to sit with the discomfort can we accept it and perhaps even embrace it because only then can we see that we have choices.
As always, thank you so much for listening. I hope you’ve found value in this series on “The Right Kind of Hard.” I'll be back with new episodes in July after taking a short break. In the meantime, give yourself a therapeutic experience: feed the birds, tell jokes, make bad art, be silly. Let yourself play.
RESOURCES
Listener’s Favorite (ep. 35): You Are Not Alone. A Miscarriage Solocast
https://dontcutyourownbangs.libsyn.com/listeners-favorite-ep-35-you-are-not-alone-a-miscarriage-solocast
FOLLOW DANIELLE ON SUBSTACK
I’m now on Substack and I’d love for you to check it out. Substack is its own platform that is teeming with my favorite thought leaders, writers, and authors—incredible people out in the world who are asking interesting questions and exploring interesting answers. I'm throwing my hat in the ring and putting engaging content out there, too. So, click the link (https://danielleireland.substack.com/) to subscribe. You’ll stay up to date and never miss out on the best new material.
CONNECT WITH DANIELLE
I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the “Don't Cut Your Own Bangs” community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.
Website: https://danielleireland.com/
The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal
Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/
Blog: https://danielleireland.com/blog/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW
Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@danielleireland8218/featured
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Pursuing a goal. Chasing a dream. Improving your life. You're working hard to achieve something, but how do you know if you're making progress or even if you’re on the right track? My goal is to help you answer these questions with our series, “The Right Kind of Hard.”
This exploration hinges on a specific quote. (I think I heard it from Wayne Dyer.) Here it is: “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” It’s a smart take on perspective. Let's use it to view unconditional love from a different angle.
People often refer to unconditional love as the pinnacle, the ultimate love. But think about your relationships. Do healthy relationships rely on structure, rules, and boundaries? If so, what does that tell us about unconditional love? Can unconditional love co-exist with conditions? What conditions help you thrive?
I invite you to join me in re-thinking one of our most cherished assumptions as we continue to pursue the right kind of hard.
As always, thank you for listening.
RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE
I strongly believe that the best things in life are shared. And one of the best ways for you and I to share is for you to rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast. Your feedback tells me what you like and what you want more of. It helps make the podcast easier for others to find me and helps me create a podcast that’s better for you. Plus, subscriptions just make life easier for everybody. It's one less thing for you to think about and you can easily keep up to date on everything new. So, please rate, review, and subscribe today.
CONNECT WITH DANIELLE
I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the “Don't Cut Your Own Bangs” community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.
Website: https://danielleireland.com/
The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal
NEW! Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/
Blog: https://danielleireland.com/blog/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW
Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@danielleireland8218/featured
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Mangler du episoder?
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Our series on “the right kind of hard” has made clear the need to actively take breaks. When I'm in the middle of processing something—whether I’m cooking up a new idea or trying to keep an idea alive or trying to push something over the finish line—I want to honor the process and let things rest when needed. Taking a pause actually can be the most effective way to move forward.
So I'm taking a moment to pause and reflect and use a more consistent and deliberate way of checking in with myself. Perhaps you need a pause, too. If so, here are a few questions to consider. Think about them. Jot them down. Maybe even turn them into a journal exercise.
1 - How much time have I spent on (or avoiding) this thing?
2 - Have I defined what progress looks and feels like?
3 - Do I have or need an accountability buddy?
4 - How am I feeling before, during, and after?
5 - What do I really, really want?
Balancing creativity and ambition with periods of pause can help us maintain focus and momentum without becoming overwhelmed. So, if you want to reignite your creative spark or simply find a healthier pace in life, join me as we explore the transformative power of taking a break, a concept far more beneficial than mere rest.
Thanks for listening!
THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal
I believe in the power of journaling to achieve the clarity needed for personal growth. It’s just that simple. The questions, prompts, and sentence stems in The Treasured Journal will help guide you as you examine the important themes in your life. Learn more about this specially designed journal and its companion, the Meditation Series, at https://danielleireland.com/journal.
CONNECT WITH DANIELLE
I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the “Don't Cut Your Own Bangs” community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.
Website: https://danielleireland.com/
The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal
NEW! Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/
Blog: https://danielleireland.com/blog/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW
Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@danielleireland8218/featured
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This season we are exploring “the right kind of hard,” which is all about identifying and doing the most relevant and useful work for personal and professional growth. So, I am thrilled to sit down with my dear friend, Lindsay Boccardo, who is perfectly suited for this topic.
As someone who makes her living developing leaders and teams and great work environments, Lindsay is acutely familiar with key questions around motivation, mindset, and self-awareness—many of the same questions we’re tackling here this season.
Lindsay is both engaged and engaging, fun, and a wealth of knowledge. She shares stories and insights that draw on her expertise as a coach, speaker, and trainer. One of the things I love most about Lindsay is her ability to distill complex ideas into a simple, actionable framework for growth. So, get ready for some tangible takeaways that you can apply to your own journey.
I also want to encourage you to visit Lindsay’s website. She has some exciting new offerings like "The Band" and "Dynamite Delivery," both of which are focused on advancing careers through emotional intelligence and developing communication skills.
Let me know what you think about this discussion and your own experiences with “the right kind of hard.” And, as always, thanks for listening!
CONNECT WITH LINDSAY BOCCARDO
Website - https://www.lindsayboccardo.com/
The Band - https://www.practicewithlindsay.com/
Dynamite Delivery with Lindsay Boccardo - https://micdropworkshop.com/product/dynamite-delivery-with-lindsay-boccardo/
SUBSCRIBE TO MY WEBSITE
If you’d like more content like this and you want to stay in the know, hop on over to my website (https://danielleireland.com/) and hit subscribe. There you will always be up to date on the latest learning material, my blog, and other content. Just click on the website so that you never miss out.
CONNECT WITH ME
I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the “Don't Cut Your Own Bangs” community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.
Website: https://danielleireland.com/
The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal
NEW! Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/
Blog: https://danielleireland.com/blog/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW
Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@danielleireland8218/featured
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I hope you have a teacher in your life who means as much to you as Dr. Michael O’Hara means to me. He is a wonderful mentor and a lovely person. If you’re wondering why I gush over him in my introduction, you will understand as our discussion unfolds.
Michael and I can easily pick up where we left off even when we haven’t seen each other in a while. That’s how we begin this interview, but trust me, our talk of the theatre dovetails perfectly into “The Right Kind of Hard.”
We explore so many key concepts—from the importance of fundamentals to manufacturing accountability, and seemingly everything in between. I hope you find this as inspirational and eye-opening as I did.
I’m so pleased to introduce you to my friend, Dr. Michael O’Hara. Thank you for listening.
“As long as I have want, I have reason for living. Satisfaction is death.”
–George Bernard Shaw__________________________
THE MUNCIE CIVIC THEATRE
The Muncie Civic Theatre proudly presents “Fiddler on the Roof.” Get tickets at the link below to catch one of the final performances of this beloved musical!Thursday, April 25 - Sunday, April 28
https://munciecivic.org/THE ANONYMOUS ENSEMBLE
https://anonymousensemble.org/ELIZABETH GILBERT
Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear
https://www.amazon.com/Big-Magic-Creative-Living-Beyond/dp/1594634726SIMON SINEK
Start with Why
https://simonsinek.com/books/start-with-why/THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal
I believe in the power of journaling to achieve the clarity needed for personal growth. It’s just that simple. When you start journaling, it’s not essential that you use The Treasured Journal—a plain sheet of paper will do. But, the questions, prompts, and sentence stems in the journal will help guide you as you examine the important themes in your life. Learn more about this specially designed journal and its companion Meditation Series at https://danielleireland.com/journal.CONNECT WITH ME
I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the “Don't Cut Your Own Bangs” community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.Website: https://danielleireland.com/
The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal
NEW! Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/
Blog: https://danielleireland.com/blog/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW
Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@danielleireland8218/featured
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In a recent substack, I wrote about “Falling, Farting & Misspelled Words.” Why? Well, because our fears and insecurities are not unique to us. We are all special, but our hangups are not. It’s an important topic, but kind of a funny one, too!
We tend to think that our pain is too deep and personal to share. We think others simply won't understand or can’t know how we feel. So, we bury our pain. We mask it, self-medicate, go shopping—anything to avoid it. But, in doing so, we also avoid the hard thing that could get us back on track.
This episode expands on my substack essay and even includes a quick and creative visual exercise for looking fear in the face. It’s part of our special series, “The Right Kind of Hard.” It's about understanding that we will not be cast out into The Great Void if we fall or fart or misspell a word.
Sharing our fears, insecurities, and pain—and really facing them—is healing and transformative. That’s what the right kind of hard is all about.
Thank you for listening!
I’M ON SUBSTACK
I’m now on Substack and I’d love for you to check it out. Substack is its own platform that is teeming with my favorite thought leaders, writers, and authors—incredible people out in the world who are asking interesting questions and exploring interesting answers. I'm throwing my hat in the ring and putting engaging content out there, too. So, click the link (https://danielleireland.substack.com/) to subscribe. You’ll stay up to date and never miss out on the best new material.
CONNECT WITH ME
I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the “Don't Cut Your Own Bangs” community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.
Website: https://danielleireland.com/
The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal
Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/
Blog: https://danielleireland.com/blog/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW
Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@danielleireland8218/featured
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Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you're avoiding a topic or a task? You feel an uncomfortable twist in your gut or maybe you notice it in someone else, like when they're fidgeting or avoiding eye contact at the start of a conversation.
Trust me, we've all been there. And often, we're not quite sure if we're avoiding the thing because we're just not ready to face it or if we're actually preparing ourselves for the challenge ahead.
The good news is there’s a way to make the discomfort work for you. But first, you need to understand the distinction between the right kind of hard and the wrong kind. The right kind of hard acknowledges the discomfort. It helps you inch your way into it even if you're not sure what is on the other side. It's about being real with yourself, even when it's tough.
On the flip side, the wrong kind of hard is all about pretending. Toxic positivity, delusional thinking—basically telling yourself (and others) a story to avoid the real conversation. The wrong kind leads to unnecessary suffering.
In this miniseries on “The Right Kind of Hard,” we will learn how to identify the right kind from the wrong kind and how to get plugged into useful work so that we can move along a path that helps us grow.
I’m so glad you’re here as part of the “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” community. Thank you for listening!
SUBSCRIBE TO MY WEBSITE
If you’d like more content like this and you want to stay in the know, hop on over to my website (https://danielleireland.com/) and hit subscribe. There you will always be up to date on the latest learning material, my blog, and other content. Just click on the website so that you never miss out.
THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal
I believe in the power of journaling to achieve the clarity needed for personal growth. It’s just that simple. When you start journaling, it’s not essential that you use The Treasured Journal—a plain sheet of paper will do. But, the questions, prompts, and sentence stems in the journal will help guide you as you examine the important themes in your life. Learn more about this specially designed journal and its companion, the Meditation Series, at https://danielleireland.com/journal.
CONNECT WITH ME
I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the “Don't Cut Your Own Bangs” community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.
Website: https://danielleireland.com/
The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal
NEW! Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/
Blog: https://danielleireland.com/blog/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW
Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@danielleireland8218/featured
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Welcome back to a brand new season of “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs!”
Diving back into podcasting after a bit of a hiatus—actually, diving back into anything after a hiatus—can prompt procrastination and cold feet, especially when life has dramatically changed in the meantime. Have you experienced that, too?
Late last year my husband and I had a second child—a baby boy—and his older sister is now a “threenager!” So, as I sit down in front of the microphone again, well, there is a lot going on. Some moments are hard, but it's a beautiful kind of chaos with unexpected turns and occasions of pure joy.
Through it all, I’m seeing a theme emerge and many of my clients are experiencing something similar. We’re willing to do the hard work to improve ourselves, our parenting, our relationships, and our careers. But, are we investing in “the right kind of hard?” Is the work serving us and helping us be the best we can be? How do we know if we’re on the right path?
We will focus on this universal theme in a series of new episodes that include personal stories, engaging guests, practical exercises, journal prompts, and more. So, if you’re feeling stuck or looking for direction, tune into the series and we’ll figure it out together.
I’m eager to get going on this new season of “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” and I’m thrilled that you’re along for the ride. Thank you for listening!
NEW! I’M ON SUBSTACK
I’m now on Substack and I’d love for you to check it out. Substack is its own platform that is teeming with my favorite thought leaders, writers, and authors—incredible people who are asking interesting questions and exploring interesting answers. I'm throwing my hat in the ring and putting engaging content out there, too. So, click the link (https://danielleireland.substack.com/) to subscribe. You’ll stay up to date and never miss out on the best new material.
CONNECT WITH ME
I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the “Don't Cut Your Own Bangs” community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.
Website: https://danielleireland.com/
The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal
NEW! Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/
Blog: https://danielleireland.com/blog/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW
Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@danielleireland8218/featured
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We’re wrapping up our "Journal Your Way to Clarity'' series with an examination of purpose, which can feel like a very heavy weight for many of us. You are not alone if you’ve struggled with questions like, "What am I supposed to do with my life?" or "How do I make my life meaningful?"
As a therapist, I've observed that people often struggle with defining their purpose because it's not just about a career or a role—it's about the totality of our experiences and values. And purpose evolves as our lives change, so the same questions arise during different life stages.
Journaling about past jobs, relationships, hobbies, and the things that “light us up” can uncover common threads and values that help us visualize our purpose. But purpose is also about how others see us. Asking people you trust for their perspectives can provide valuable understanding of the impact you have on those around you.
So I invite you to participate in the exercises discussed in this episode. You might just find that you are the best gift you unwrapped this holiday season.
Thank you for listening! I'm looking forward to all that we will explore together in 2024!
THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal
It’s not essential that you use The Treasured Journal for the exercises discussed in the “Journal Your Way to Clarity” series. A plain pad of paper will do. But, the questions, prompts, and sentence stems in the journal will help you examine important themes in your life so that you can gain the type of clarity that comes from meaningful self-reflection.
CONNECT WITH DANIELLE
I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback is invaluable.
Website: danielleireland.com
Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW
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Family. The dynamics can be so very complex. As we dive into the next-to-last life theme in our series from The Treasured Journal, we look at how structured communication exercises can uncover new perspectives and deepen interactions with family.
We also explore the importance of curiosity. A shared history can create a trap that leaves you feeling like there is nothing new to know, nothing new to learn. But, setting your assumptions aside and digging a little deeper can have tremendous rewards.
To foster this curiosity, our journaling exercise encourages you to adopt a mindset of "not knowing." This frees you to reflect on diverse expressions of love that you have received and helps you understand how you, in turn, express love to others.
Thank you for listening to the latest episode of the “Journal Your Way to Clarity" series. Be sure to tune in next time when we finish up the series with ways to use journaling to identify your purpose.
THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal
It’s not essential that you use The Treasured Journal for these exercises. A plain pad of paper will do. But, the questions, prompts, and sentence stems in the journal—along with this series of podcasts—will help you examine the important themes in your life so that you can gain the type of clarity that comes from meaningful self-reflection.
CONNECT WITH DANIELLE
I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with any questions, comments, or experiences you'd like to share. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback is invaluable.
Website: danielleireland.com
Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW
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Sex is the focus of Part 5 in our “Journaling Your Way to Clarity” series, which follows the seven life themes from The Treasured Journal: career, relationships, money, love, sex, family, and purpose.
Because sex is such a broad topic, we'll narrow the scope to our relationship with pleasure and give special emphasis to the idea of worthiness. Do you believe you are worthy and deserving of the experiences you want to have?
Sex is an especially good topic for journaling because an honest, raw examination of worthiness requires an open and vulnerable conversation between you and you.
As a lead-in to our discussion, I share the joy that I found when I put down the self-help books and work-related reading and instead took up a fictional journey where the details fly off the page and the characters come to life in my mind. I’m not reading the words so much as watching the story unfold!
I also give a quick update on Life with Lucas. David and I are starting to find a rhythm, but these early days as the mother in a four-person family have been challenging, surprising, and joyful!
As you can see, pleasure can take many forms. I hope you’ll join me for the guided writing exercises in this episode so that you can find the pleasure that you deserve.
THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal
You don’t have to use The Treasured Journal for these exercises. A plain pad of paper will do. But, the questions, prompts, and sentence stems in the journal—along with this series of podcasts—will help you examine the important themes in your life so that you can gain the type of clarity that comes from meaningful self-reflection.
CONNECT WITH DANIELLE
I greatly appreciate your support and engagement in the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with any questions, comments, or experiences you'd like to share. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback is invaluable.
Thank you for listening!
CONNECT WITH DANIELLE
Website: danielleireland.com
Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW
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Hello! If you’ve been following along you know that I’ve been away having and taking care of our new baby boy. I am so excited to be back in front of the microphone again bringing you fresh, new content. In a future episode, I will share more on our unexpected but welcome pregnancy, the labor and delivery, and the unexpected but welcome challenges that arise in caring for two young children instead of only one!
Until then, we’re continuing the “Journal Your Way to Clarity” series with the next theme: love. Our focus is on self-love and its impact on relationships. So, we start off with this beautiful quote that I pulled from The Treasured Journal:
“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.” - Rupi Kaur
I invite you to think about or write about this thought-provoking prompt: "If I loved myself more fully, I would..."
Journaling can be mightily effective because it allows us to be free and honest. We don’t have to perform for others. We’re not obligated to play a role. We can think and consider and be who we truly are and how we truly feel. This makes journaling an unparalleled tool for self-reflection and insight.
So I encourage you to join in on the exercises in this series. And be sure to check out the next episode in the series when we explore the topic of sex and its interconnectedness with various aspects of our lives.
It is so good to be back! Thank you for listening!
RESOURCES and MENTIONS
Rupi Kaur - https://rupikaur.com/
The Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer - https://stepheniemeyer.com/the-books/
Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer - https://stepheniemeyer.com/midnight-sun-2020/
A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas - https://sarahjmaas.com/books/a-court-of-thorns-and-roses-series/a-court-of-thorns-and-roses
THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal
Whether you use The Treasured Journal or a plain pad of paper, journaling can help you see yourself, and your situation, more clearly. If you opt for the journal, you'll get useful questions, prompts, and sentence starters that perfectly complement the concepts discussed in this series.
CONNECT WITH DANIELLE
I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with any questions, comments, or experiences you'd like to share. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback is invaluable.
Website: danielleireland.com
Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW
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They say that “money makes the world go round” because it’s necessary to meet our basic needs. But another truth lurks within financial transactions: money carries with it a tremendous amount of emotional weight.
Our upbringing and our experiences with money shape our perspective and perception of its worth. So it’s useful to examine how money influences our moods and behavior, our relationships, and even our own sense of self.
Toward the end of the episode, use the thought exercises to better understand how money makes you feel—both as a giver and a receiver. I recommend that you combine these exercises with journaling, especially if money is having an adverse effect on your well-being.
For journaling, a plain pad of paper will do. But, if you want a guided journaling experience, get The Treasured Journal, which includes questions, prompts, and sentence stems that will help you open up and get your thoughts flowing.
THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal
Thank you for listening. This special series is designed to help you clarify how your life is shaped by your career, relationships, love, sex, money, family, and purpose.
If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.
This episode originally aired as #120 on March 20, 2023.
CONNECT WITH DANIELLE
Website: danielleireland.com
Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW
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Hello! Grab a warm beverage and settle in. We’re continuing our discussion of relationships as part of the Journal Your Way to Clarity series. Relationships can cover a lot of territory. But, for now, I want to focus on two specific concepts: (1) how relationships are like mirrors, and (2) the relationship fear loop.
The complexities of relationships can be confusing and maddening and difficult to sort given the intense emotions attached to the people in our lives. But I have found that journaling can help us learn to advocate for our needs, create space when necessary, and navigate challenging conversations with a new sense of confidence and self-awareness. This is why I recommend journaling to almost everyone!
Whether you use The Treasured Journal or simply a plain pad of paper, journaling can help you see yourself, and your situation, more clearly. If you opt for the journal, you'll get useful questions, prompts, and sentence starters that perfectly complement the concepts discussed in this series.
Click for THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal
Thank you for listening. This episode originally aired as #117 on February 6, 2023.
I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with any questions, comments, or experiences you'd like to share. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback is invaluable.
CONNECT WITH DANIELLE
Website: danielleireland.com
Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW
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Welcome to the next installment in the Journal Your Way to Clarity series. This is the first of a two-part look at relationships, a topic that tends to dominate our thoughts and conversations.
Whether it's the heartache, frustration, or anger that we feel toward a partner or someone else in our lives, these emotions usually reveal the need for work that looks inward, not outward.
The desire to be seen and heard—to connect with others on a meaningful level—is universal. But achieving that type of connection hinges on our ability to define what "being there" truly means.
So, when journaling about relationships, I encourage you to start with the following prompts:
What do I really feel?
What do I really want?
How can I satisfy that for myself with some small action?
For this series of exercises, you don’t have to use The Treasured Journal—a plain pad of paper will do. But if you do use the journal, you can take advantage of questions, prompts, and sentence stems to move past the blank page and gain the type of clarity that comes from meaningful self-reflection.
Pick up THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal
Thank you for listening. This episode originally aired as #116 on January 30, 2023.
Thank you for being part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. I appreciate your support and engagement. Feel free to reach out with any questions, comments, or experiences you'd like to share. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback is invaluable.
BOOKS I’M READING (visit your local bookseller or library):
Spare by Prince Harry - https://www.amazon.com/Spare-Prince-Harry-Duke-Sussex/dp/0593593804
The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté, MD with Daniel Maté - https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Normal-Illness-Healing-Culture/dp/0593083881
Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy - https://www.goodinside.com/book/
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron - https://juliacameronlive.com/books-by-julia/
CONNECT WITH DANIELLE
Website: danielleireland.com
Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW
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Hello! Well, a lot has happened since we last connected. Let me bring you up to date.
In January of this year, I decided to devote a series of podcast episodes to the seven life themes found in The Treasured Journal: career, relationships, money, love, sex, family, and purpose. I recorded and published episodes on three of the seven themes and invited listeners to journal along with me.
The ideas and questions discussed in each podcast supplied listeners with guided exercises that helped them go deeper and explore the themes further. The “Journal Your Way to Clarity” series was going well, and then… I found out I was pregnant!
Somehow, the excitement of the pregnancy, the need to make room for a fourth human in our house, and all the other planning activities commandeered my brain. So now, in October, after giving birth to our sweet baby boy and taking time off to focus on my family, I am ready to re-engage with the podcast and the “Journal Your Way to Clarity” series.
I am so excited to be back and can’t wait to get in front of the microphone again! To level set, I’m going to start by replaying the episodes that were published previously and then I’ll be back with fresh content for the remaining themes.
In Part 1 of the series, I focus on career. People tend to have a lot of unconscious bias, complicated feelings, and self-identity wrapped up in their careers. So it’s worth examining through journaling how we perceive its value and its effect on us.
Journaling is one of the most powerful tools we have for gaining clarity and understanding. Whether you’re experienced at journaling or brand new to it, I encourage you to take advantage of these guided exercises to explore the seven themes in your life.
You can get a copy of THE TREASURED JOURNAL here: https://danielleireland.com/journal
It’s not essential that you use The Treasured Journal for these exercises—a plain pad of paper and pen will do. But, along with this series of podcasts, the questions, prompts, and sentence stems in the journal will help you move past the blank page and gain the type of clarity that comes from meaningful self-reflection.
Thank you for listening to the Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs podcast. This episode originally aired as #115 on January 23, 2023.
BOOKS MENTIONED
The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté, MD with Daniel Maté - https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Normal-Illness-Healing-Culture/dp/0593083881
Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey - https://thenapministry.com
Spare by Prince Harry - https://www.amazon.com/Spare-Prince-Harry-Duke-Sussex/dp/0593593804
CONNECT WITH DANIELLE
Website: danielleireland.com
Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW
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Even with all of the progress we’ve made in our attitudes toward mental health and therapy, many people still find it hard to admit that they need help. And often, if they do ask for help, they’ve waited far too long.
Granted, therapy is not the only modality for emotional healing. Talking with friends, exercise, travel, and dozens of other things can help the healing process. But, only therapy is therapy.
Most of us look long and hard for reasons to avoid therapy. But, ultimately, THINKING about starting therapy is way harder than ACTUALLY starting therapy, and it’s because of these three myths.
1 - Something is wrong with me. (Not true.)
2 - I have failed. (Again, not true.)
3 - I have to know why I want it to start it. (No, you don’t.)
Feeling the need to suck it up, to swallow our pain, to push through the hard times on our own is not only unnecessary, it also can be quite harmful.
If you’ve been thinking about starting therapy, don’t wait until the walls are crashing down around you. Taking that first step is easier than you think. If starting therapy seems scary and disempowering, consider this—therapy can be whatever you want it to be.
Thank you for listening.
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For me and many others, journaling has been a life-changing practice. Sometimes you can grab a pen and any sheet of paper and the thoughts flow easily. But if you’re feeling blocked and having trouble finding the clarity you need, consider using the Treasured Journal. The Treasured Journal includes questions, prompts, and sentence stems to help you organize your thoughts and feelings. Get the journal and its companion meditation guide at the link below.
THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal
Feel free to reach out with any questions, comments, or experiences you want to share. I would love to hear from you! If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback helps me increase the value of this program and makes it easier for others to find us.
This episode originally aired as #111 on November 7, 2022.
CONNECT WITH DANIELLE
Website: danielleireland.com
Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW
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Lauren Rieker, RDN, is a registered dietitian and owner/manager of Collaborative Counseling & Nutrition, an outpatient nutrition and body image counseling center in Indianapolis. I talk with Lauren about her own history with food, exercise, and health—and how it led her to pursue an approach to eating disorders, body image, and intuitive eating that emphasizes compassion, mindfulness, and holistic treatment.
This is not a typical discussion about our bodies and food-related struggles. In today’s environment, virtually all women are affected by pervasive messaging—and often misinformation—about body weight, size, and shape. So, I hope you will join us as Lauren shares her experience and perspective on these and related topics: intuitive eating, eating disorders versus disordered eating, conventional diet culture and health outcomes, trusting our bodies, and combining therapy services and nutrition for healthy living.
Thank you for listening!
CONNECT WITH LAUREN
Website: Collab-counseling.com
Instagram: @laurenrieker.rd
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For me and many others, journaling has been a life-changing practice. Sometimes you can grab a pen and any sheet of paper and the thoughts flow easily. But if you’re feeling blocked and having trouble finding the clarity you need, consider using the Treasured Journal. The Treasured Journal includes questions, prompts, and sentence stems to help you organize your thoughts and feelings. Get the journal and its companion meditation guide at the link below.
THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal
Feel free to reach out with any questions, comments, or experiences you want to share. I would love to hear from you! If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback helps me increase the value of this program and makes it easier for others to find us.
This episode originally aired as #109 on October 17, 2022.
CONNECT WITH DANIELLE
Website: danielleireland.com
Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW
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Women have always known that building community with other women creates a powerful force for good. Leslie Bailey, the co-founder and CEO of Indy Maven and Maven Space, has transformed that knowledge into a lifestyle media company and community for women that epitomizes her spirit of collaboration, support, and inspiration.
I love the wisdom and vulnerability that she brings to our discussion on managing success, giving away too much of yourself, setting boundaries, asking for help, and understanding that self-care is about more than bubble baths. This is an invaluable discussion for anyone who has ever felt overwhelmed, in need of support, or out of control despite their achievements.
Thank you for listening!
CONNECT WITH LESLIE and INDY MAVEN
Indy Maven Website: https://indymaven.com/
Maven Space website: https://mavenspace.co/
Leslie Bailey Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lesalina/
Leslie Bailey Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Lesalina
++++++++++++++++++
For me and many others, journaling has been a life-changing practice. Sometimes you can grab a pen and any sheet of paper and the thoughts flow easily. But if you’re feeling blocked and having trouble finding the clarity you need, consider using the Treasured Journal. The Treasured Journal includes questions, prompts, and sentence stems to help you organize your thoughts and feelings. Get the journal and its companion meditation guide at the link below.
THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal
Feel free to reach out with any questions, comments, or experiences you want to share. I would love to hear from you! If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback helps me increase the value of this program and makes it easier for others to find us.
This episode originally aired as #104 on May 16, 2022.
CONNECT WITH DANIELLE
Website: danielleireland.com
Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW
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My guest is an absolute powerhouse of a woman, Betsy Murphy. Betsy is the author of several popular books, including the "Autobiography of an Orgasm" and "Write On: A Daily Writing Practice for Anyone with a Story to Tell."
Betsy is a screenwriter, performer, speaker, writing coach, and guide for women to help retrieve the hidden parts of their stories. She discusses the things most people don't want to talk about, but does so in a way that makes you feel comfortable being part of the conversation.
I found several key takeaways in our discussion, including how gratitude can keep us alive, how feeling it all is necessary, and why we need to pay attention to the footprints. I'm confident you’ll find valuable inspiration here, too.
Thank you for listening!
CONNECT WITH BETSY MURPHY
Website: http://betsybmurphy.com/
Instagram: @Betsybmurphy
++++++++++++++++++
For me and many others, journaling has been a life-changing practice. Sometimes you can grab a pen and any sheet of paper and the thoughts flow easily. But if you’re feeling blocked and having trouble finding the clarity you need, consider using the Treasured Journal. The Treasured Journal includes questions, prompts, and sentence stems to help you organize your thoughts and feelings. Get the journal and its companion meditation guide at the link below.
THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal
Feel free to reach out with any questions, comments, or experiences you want to share. I would love to hear from you! If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback helps me increase the value of this program and makes it easier for others to find us.
This episode originally aired as #90 on November 1, 2021.
CONNECT WITH DANIELLE
Website: danielleireland.com
Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW
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