Episoder
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“It’s praised in our culture to have a bold, clear, big vision for the kind of impact you want to make in the world and in your life, but what’s not talked about is, ‘Is it realistic?” says Sarah Vosen as she joins Cait Donovan to co-host this latest episode of FRIEDguides. Today, the two discuss why high achievers tend to be the first to burn out. It has to do with unrealistic expectations–both for their achievements and their capacity to achieve. As a result, high achievers continue to expend more energy than they receive in return, and–being so doggedly ambitious--don't stop, even when they’re on the verge of breaking down.
Many high achievers are people who are operating from trauma and wounding, perpetually chasing a dangling carrot of success in order to feel worthy. Today, Sarah and Cait discuss the common signs of energy depletion, how we can manage them and start restoring our input.
Join Cait and Sarah to learn more about savior complexes, controlling people through indebtedness, and the hidden hazards of having high kitchen counter tops.
Quotes
“It’s praised in our culture to have a bold clear, big vision for the kind of impact you want to make in the world and in your life but what’s not talked about is, ‘Is it realistic?’ For your capacity as an individual and/or your team, if you have one, to actually achieve what you’ve set out to achieve without digging yourself a hole of depletion in the process.” (1:49 | Sarah Vosen)“Perfectionism and people-pleasing tend to be two sides of the same coin…and these things are rooted in wounding. It’s rooted in wanting to be seen, to be praised, to be loved, really, at the root. So, when you’re operating from this place, this wounded place, you feel like the more you achieve the more you’ll be loved, and so why wouldn’t you, especially if it’s possible.” (3:14 | Sarah Vosen)“The more you do, the more you output. So, the only way to get better and recover from burnout is to decrease your output and/or increase your input because you’ve got to fill that hole of depletion somewhere, somehow.” (8:53 | Sarah Vosen)“I feel like people who really get stuck in the burnout cycle are the high-achievers, first and foremost, because they wait the longest to get the support. And the habitual drive is strong, so until your literal will to push breaks down, you keep using it to keep going.” (17:48 | Caitlin Donovan and Sarah Vosen)“You can still make a difference and achieve, make an impact, have a vision in the way that you want to when you come back to it from this shored up, energetic, conscious place, where you are spending only what you want to spend on only what you want to spend it on, and you’re consciously receiving more than you were before.” (25:11 | Sarah Vosen)Links
Connect with Sarah:
One-on-one coaching free call with Sarah Vosen:https://caitdonovan.as.me/coachwithsarah
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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“I often say that story is the most powerful tool on earth and I really believe that,” says today’s FRIED guest Jacquelyn Fletcher Johnson, who, as the founder and CEO of the Heartwood Leadership Institute, has helped countless Fortune 500 executives step into their leadership. Today she joins host Cait Donovan to discuss the stories we tell ourselves—about who we are, what life and work are meant to be like and how these stories manifest in our lives and even in our bodies until we finally dig deep down and investigate what’s underneath them. The two women discuss the most common stories people—particularly those who end up burning out—tell themselves about worthiness, visibility and attempting to go the journey alone.
Ingrained into us at the deepest cultural level are all the variations of author Joseph Campbell’s “hero’s journey”—wherein the protagonist sets out on a journey, encounters and overcomes obstacles and emerges victorious. Jacquelyn and Cait discuss the destructive messages this classic trope can nonetheless instill in us about our value being determined by how hard we struggle.
One of the most powerful aspects of storytelling is its malleability. Join today’s conversation to learn how to shape the story you tell about yourself.
Quotes
“I really had to look myself in the face. I had to look at what I was doing, how I was behaving, and for me it really came down to one internal state and the stories that I was telling myself about who I was…and story was a huge part of that…Story helped me come back from that experience and become someone else.” (9:07 | Jacquelyn Fletcher Johnson)“It said to me, ‘I will only have to overcome something hard once, and once I’ve overcome this hard thing, I’m good.’ You know what it said to me? ‘Until I overcome a hard thing, I have no value, because if I haven’t overcome a hard thing, then where’s my value?’ And I didn’t give any credence to any of the hard things that came before burnout because those hard things were not as hard as other people’s hard things.’” (19:29 | Jacquelyn Fletcher Johnson and Cait Donovan)“This is story. It is malleable. It is based on our own interpretation of it, and so if we are living story unconsciously without actually looking at it, without talking about it, without seeing it for what it is and surfacing it, boy is it powerful and it is operating underneath everything.” (22:03 | Jacquelyn Fletcher Johnson)“We have our own legends. We have our own myths in our lives and that legend influenced much of my life and many of my decisions and it wasn’t until this big diagnosis where I was like, ‘Honey, you can’t do this alone,’ and my gosh—I learned more about love and about the people and what support looks like and what acts of love look like than I have ever experienced in my life.”(35:50 | Jacquelyn Fletcher Johnson)Links
Connect with Jacquelyn Fletcher Johnson:
https://www.heartwoodleadership.com
https://jacquelynfletcherjohnson.substack.com/
www.linkedin.com/in/jacquelynfletcherjohnson
bit.ly/bouncebackorder
https://www.amazon.com/Coyote-Wisdom-Power-Story-Healing/dp/1591430291
https://www.jcf.org/learn/joseph-campbell-heros-journey
https://bit.ly/exec-retreat
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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Mangler du episoder?
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“I want you to give yourself permission to live in this rule of thirds,” says host Cait Donovan, borrowing a concept that Olympic runner Alexi Pappas recently shared online. Alexi's coach told her that anything you're doing right will feel a combination of good, bad and just neutral. Cait explains how this applies to burnout recovery, and how to incorporate it into your own life.
She also discusses fourth grade teacher Ryan Brazil's viral clip which explains that we are not obligated to blindly follow our first and, perhaps, most impulsive thoughts. Instead, we have the power to adhere to or act upon any one of the many successive thoughts that align more with who we want to be.
Cait shares a story from her own life where she chose to place emphasis on her second thought of compassion over her first thought of judgement.
Quotes
“If you are adhering to those thirds, it means you’re on the right path. You’re doing the right things. You’re pushing yourself hard enough but you’re not pushing yourself too hard. You are enjoying the good moments, you are paying attention to the things that aren’t great so you can fix them. You’re sort of doing all the right things. This is so true in burnout recovery.” (2:13 | Caitlin Donovan)“The fact of the matter is, your sleep is going to be bad, something external is going to happen, you’re going to have to prep for a conversation or an action item. You’re going to be disappointed in yourself for not sticking to a food regiment, or you’re going to—whatever. There are a million reasons to be in that space, but we don’t want you to be in that space for four days a week. We don’t want you to be in that space for seven days at a time, unless the next week is neutral and the week after that is great.” (4:58 | Caitlin Donovan)“I do remember having that second thought and thinking, ‘I would rather choose this way to think about myself and other people because I think it’s healthier and I think it’s safer.’ That doesn’t mean that when somebody’s really doing something terrible, you should excuse it and try to interpret it differently so you can explain it away.” (9:31 | Caitlin Donovan)“You get to decide which thought you stop on because the thought you stop on is probably the thought that you’re going to repeat to yourself.” (11:12 | Caitlin Donovan)Links
Alexi Pappas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKndqq0CsRc
Ryan Brazil: https://www.instagram.com/mrs.brazil_28/reel/C_MRG4vSh4g/
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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“Part of the empowerment is recognizing that the things that you’re weak in are actually just the flip side of your strengths,” explains Sarah Yovovich, teacher writer and body worker, who joins FRIED to discuss the kind of burnout which results from emotional abuse. The same emotional intuition that kept her empathizing with her abuser makes her a profound healer, deeply tuned into her clients’ emotional, physical and energetic layers through Thai massage--a meditation on loving kindness. Today, she speaks to Sarah Vosen about the five elements of Chinese medicine, how they changed her life and helped her heal from burnout.
They also make her feel more connected to all elements of the world around her, a concept with which Sarah Jovovich, in turn, empowers her clients. She discusses the importance of community supporting each other and working in tandem. She also explains how she learned to set boundaries, for others’ benefit as much as her own.
Join the two friends in a discussion about healing and empowerment, the pitfalls of being a “terminal optimist” and why abuse is like an expressway.
Quotes
“The way my sister put it was that when you live by an expressway you get used to the noise and the pollution and you don’t realize how much it’s wearing you down until you step away from it. And the stepping away from it was really difficult in this case because the expressway was my co-parent and my roommate in a very expensive city.” (10:22 | Sarah Yovovich)“When you’re in an abusive relationship, your nervous system is constantly being attacked. You’re in fight, flight, freeze or fawn all the time. If you’re living with somebody who’s being abusive of you, you never relax, and so your body starts to wear out from that.” (12:28 | Sarah Yovovich)“It allows me to recognize just how much I am a part of everything that happens all around me—of the seasons, of the planet, of the flow of energies in the universe, and to create stories around that that help me make sense of my life and my experiences. It’s also been really empowering in my healing work as a way to help other people make sense of what they’re feeling in their bodies and not feel like they’re at the whim of some tyrant body that’s misbehaving, but start to put together authority… to see how all these things are connected and work with them instead of against them.” (27:25 | Sarah Yovovich)“That’s actually part of the empowerment is recognizing that the things that you’re weak in are not something to beat yourself up about. It’s actually just the flip side of your strength and that there are four other kinds of elements who have the strengths that you don’t have that are probably part of your community and you can support each other. It just proves to me we’re meant to work together.” (39:17 | Sarah Yovovich and Sarah Vosen)Links
Connect with Sarah Yovovich:
https://www.sarahpeutics.org
https://instagram.com/acro.mama
www.linkedin.com/in/sarah-yovovich-2124b07
https://sarahpeutics.mn.co/plans/52216?bundle_token=62c36ddc4adc3001097cd7c8962de3f4&utm_source=manual
One-on-one coaching free call with Sarah Vosen:
https://caitdonovan.as.me/coachwithsarah Element constitution quiz: https://s.pointerpro.com/primaryelement
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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“I just didn’t feel like I had the permission to bring that part of myself into the workplace and say, ‘Hey, I want to start making some shifts,’”says Roslyn McLarty, of her time as co-founder of the GIST, a women-run sports media brand, making sports more inclusive. As the company grew, so did the responsibilities and overwhelm, and she found herself growing away from the company. Since completing burnout recovery coaching with Cait through Cait’s Wayfinder program, Roslyn has learned that when you act in integrity with what your mind, body and soul want to do, not only do you deliver the most impact, you have more to offer the company, and as a founder, set the example for those around you. On today’s episode of FRIED, she shares how her journey through burnout has informed the founding of her latest venture Within, a personal development platform for purpose-driven leaders.
A large part of Roslyn’s burnout recovery included learning to be present in her body—rather than just living inside of her own head—and get in better touch with her intuition. She learned to get to the root of her people-pleasing tendencies, to release her resentments and frustration.
Roslyn’s story proves what a difference a year can truly make. Join today’s discussion to hear the advice she has for founders based on what she’s learned throughout her own journey.
Quotes
“I think awareness is the first step. I think the harder thing, for me, is even just believing that you are deserving of doing work that you enjoy and that maybe you have something to bring to the table other than what you thought.” (12:35 | Roslyn McLarty)“Those parts of me weren’t being fully utilized at the company, and I think they could have been really valuable but I just didn’t feel like I had the permission to bring that part of myself into the workplace and say, ‘Hey, I want to start making some shifts toward these energy-giving areas for me, so that I can stay in the company sustainably, so that I can have something that’s filling my cup so that I can do this and some of the other things that I inevitably need to do that maybe aren’t the most energy-giving but can we at least figure something out.’” (13:10 | Roslyn McLarty) “Before going through all this I was someone who operated fully from the shoulders up, in my head. I wasn’t connected to my body’s intuition. I wasn’t hearing the signs that I was burning out or that things weren’t right, that something wasn’t integrity for me, in my life.’” (19:43 | Roslyn McLarty)“When you’re someone who’s been holding it all in and putting everybody first… you don’t know another way of being, whether it’s how you cope or how you were taught. So, to realize there’s a different way and you can let it all out is really empowering.” (24:50 | Roslyn McLarty)“I think that’s the thing that gets in the way: people just believe if I’m not working hard, I’m not going to be successful or I’m not creating value, and actually, if you’re working too hard, you’re not of service to your company. So, trying to shift to this idea that you should be working in a scope that works for you and lights you up.” (36:14 | Roslyn McLarty)Links
Connect with Roslyn McLarty:
https://within.beehiiv.com/
https://www.instagram.com/roslynmclarty/
www.linkedin.com/in/roslyn-mclarty-51058223
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
.Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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“Cool, this is an emotion, but what is it telling me? What is the information?” asks Nicole Maitland, host of the podcast “Yarns for the Soul” and today’s guest on this episode of FRIED hosted by Sarah Vosen. The same high level of sensitivity that made Nicole an effective human rights lawyer in her native New Zealand made her vicariously vulnerable to her clients’ trauma, and her people-pleasing tendencies drove her to give her best to those clients even as her body was screaming for her to stop. Today, Nicole explains how she is learning to give herself the time, space and permission to feel her feelings without guilt or judgment, and what’s more, to learn to determine the message and information her emotions are trying to deliver.
She compares emotions to waves, and the messages the emotions contain, to boats. When we let the waves wash over us and pay attention to the boats, we can receive the message that ultimately helps us bring ourselves more into what Sarah calls “soul alignment”— the lack of which is what leads to burnout in the first place. Nicole also talks about listening to the messages your body is trying to tell you, either through the symptoms of burnout, or in the subtle ways your gut and heart are trying to lead you in the right direction.
Currently, Nicole is living the life of a “slow nomad,” and in turn is learning to let her soul be a “free and easy wanderer.” Learn more about her journey, how working with a naturopath changed her perspective and what she learned about life from growing up on her family’s farm.
Quotes
“As I look back now, that was kind of the last domino to fall. I can see that I was already chronically stressed probably from when I first started as a lawyer, even maybe before, when I was studying at university. And then I kind of just kept pushing because I didn’t know what else to do.” (6:13 | Nicole Maitland)“Riding those waves, you can see if there’s a boat that’s coming along and so, the wave itself is a certain emotion—it could be anger, sadness or whatever it is—but if you detach from the wave and look at the boat, which is a message…What is it trying to tell me?” (18:54| Nicole Maitland)“I know some people aren’t label-oriented, they don’t need a diagnosis but I think, for me, that’s where I’ve struggled because I find those labels helpful… now having the words of ‘highly sensitive person,’ I can use that as a lens to reflect back on everything, particularly my work as a lawyer and thinking, ‘Oh, that’s why I was different. That’s why I functioned differently,’ kind of bringing kindness to previous versions of myself.” (31:20 | Nicole Maitland) “Physically, it can come from different places. It’s the heart, or the gut, possibly. The heart is, ‘What am I really feeling? What feels aligned?’ The gut is more the intuition, those things that you maybe can’t explain, but a little message or a tap on the shoulder, ‘I don’t know why, but let’s follow that.’ (44:18 | Nicole Maitland)Links
Connect with Nicole Maitland:
https://nicole28j.wixsite.com/nicole-maitland-1
https://www.instagram.com/yarnsforthesoulnicole/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-maitland-4544706a/
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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“What’s more important: being happy for having some stupid business card?” Asks Bryan Huhn, who joins FRIED today to discuss the relationship between financial stress and burnout, particularly when we allow the money we’re making—and the money we think we can’t live without—to convince us we need to remain in jobs that are making us miserable even to the point of illness. Bryan spent years valuing what people thought of him more than his own genuine passions and in an effort to people-please, pursued a career in finance rather than his dream of becoming a baseball coach. This led to a toxic cycle where his self-worth was tied to a job he had no passion for and therefore didn’t excel at, the stress of which, he believes, contributed to a cancer diagnosis in 2015.
With what he’s learned, he wants to help others make the most of their money so that they can create the best lives for themselves, and don’t have to spend another minute in jobs that they hate. As he explains to host Cait Donovan, this requires being brutally honest with yourself about where your money is going, what that says about what you value, and how you can start financially planning so that you can buy your freedom without wasting any more of that resource that is perhaps more valuable than money: your time.
This requires getting real with yourself, while at the same time refraining from judging yourself or comparing yourself to anyone else. Join today’s episode of FRIED to learn how your approach to financial planning will help you start to live your best life.
Quotes
“That’s one thing I would say: Don’t ever compare. If there’s something you’ve been through, even if it seems really minor, it has a major impact on your life and the way your brain works. So, having that self-compassion, I think, is really important.” (4:43 | Bryan Huhn)“Money is imaginary. It literally is not real. We, as humans, just decided, ‘Hey, this thing, this piece of paper, this U.S. dollar is worth something and we all agree that it is, and that’s how we’re going to interact with one another and get the things we want. It could just as easily be Bitcoin. It’s not real, so why should your goal be to maximize how much of it you accumulate? No, the purpose of it is to live the best freaking life that you can possibly live.” (20:33 | Bryan Huhn) “OK, where’s my money going? So, what am I valuing? Because if you really want to know what someone cares about, look at their bank statement and their calendar. The time and the money. It’s a really good way to measure that. So, it almost forces you to do that deep work that so many people resist.” (27:35 | Bryan Huhn)“There’s no judgment there. It’s just being honest with yourself and I think a lot of times, especially in my industry, they make people feel really judged. It’s kind of cliche to hear a financial planner say, ‘Don’t spend six bucks on your Starbucks coffee every morning. Shut up. Don’t tell people what they should value, but help them figure it out and help them be brutally honest with themselves.” (30:13 | Bryan Huhn)Links
Connect with Bryan Huhn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/bryanhuhn/
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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Ready to leave burnout behind for good? Join UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start reclaiming your energy and joy. Apply today! https://bit.ly/unfryapply
“The problem isn’t you; the problem is the toxic workplace,” explains host Caitlin Donovan on this latest #straightfromcait episode of FRIED, in which she discusses the dangers of returning to a toxic workplace only to repeat the burnout cycle again, as if you never made any recovery progress. Too often we’re led to believe that if we improve ourselves enough, we can develop an immunity against a bad environment, which, as Cait says, simply isn’t true.
On today’s episode, she explains why you should reconsider returning to your toxic workplace, and, if you do find yourself there, what to do if you find yourself unsupported. She discusses the common feelings of isolation, loneliness, emotional and mental paralysis and low self-esteem that accompany this scenario, and the devastating effects of bullies in the workplace.
You’ve come too far in your burnout recovery to jump back into the very situation that got you burned out in the first place. Join Cait today to learn the importance of being aware of, and listening to your body responses, to better detect and determine if your environment is safe.
Quotes
“What happens, because of pop culture and pop psychology, is people assume that if they just get stronger, have better boundaries or can manage their emotions better, that somehow they will be able to manage and handle a toxic environment. That would be like saying, ‘If I just meditate enough, I can swim in toxic chemicals and they won’t bother my body.’ That’s just not true.” (2:56 | Caitlin Donovan) “There are a lot of people who explain that they, after something like this happens, are left with really low confidence. They’re feeling worthless, they feel socially isolated. They don’t know how to search for a new job; they’re nervous about searching for a new job. They’re wondering if they’ll ever be able to work again. Their social circle often doesn’t know how to respond, which is not their social circle’s fault, most people are just not educated well enough in the realms of burnout to have these conversations easily.” (6:37 | Caitlin Donovan) “And then that social isolation turns into loneliness, and you feel like the odd one out and you feel like, ‘Oh, my God, why is everybody around me making it in life and I can’t hang, I can’t hack it.’ And then that turns into a general feeling of despair.” (7:08 | Caitlin Donovan)“It only takes one bully, one crappy boss to set things totally sideways. And I know that people who work in HR and leaders don’t want to hear that one crappy boss can really ruin it like that for someone, but they can, and they do, and the cost is magnificent. The cost is immense for this person.” (9:38 | Caitlin Donovan)Links
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Ready to leave burnout behind for good? Join UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start reclaiming your energy and joy. Apply today! https://bit.ly/unfryapply
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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Ready to leave burnout behind for good? Join UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start reclaiming your energy and joy. Apply today! https://bit.ly/unfryapply
“How do we rewrite the playbook together?” asks Daisy Auger-Dominguez, global leader, workplace strategist and author of the upcoming book “From Burnt Out to Lit Up,” on today’s episode of FRIED. The contemporary workplace is in major flux at the moment. In addition to being in collective burnout that we’ve just been able to give a name to, we’re also in what Daisy calls a “messy middle,” where workers are still learning how to effectively use their voices and leaders are trying to navigate these rapidly changing waters with archaic methods. So, how can leaders gain the skills to lead high-performing teams, shift workplace culture, and drive performance without causing more burnout? By showing up differently, modeling vulnerability and humanity for their workers, so that they feel seen, can heal, and eventually, help change the system from the inside out.
Today Daisy talks about what it takes to do such healing. It includes being conscious of your sacrifices, weighing the pros and cons of your decisions, replenishing your social battery and staying on top of your cultural debt. Many leaders fall into the trap of thinking they’re needed everywhere 24/7—when delegating not only eases the leader’s burden but lets capable workers shine.
Daisy explains how we can acknowledge the undue burden many groups experience in the workplace while exercising agency that helps not only us thrive but others as well. By rewriting the stories we tell ourselves, we help remodel the current paradigm of workplace culture into something better.
Quotes
“That’s what we’re hoping for from our leaders. We’re hoping that they will help us, get us to the other side, and that they will do so vulnerably; that they will do so with humanity; and that they will do so in a way that allows us to feel seen, validated and understood so that we can deliver to our best capacity.” (9:24 | Daisy Auger-Dominguez)“I do believe that when you tell the world that you have boundaries, you tell the world that you matter. But I also think …what I do for me is also what I model for others so that—they don’t have to do what I’m doing, but they can create the conditions where they can thrive.” (20:40 | Daisy Auger-Dominguez)“One of the practices in the book that I share is about reframing our narratives, reframing our stories, because for a long time, the story I told myself was, ‘As a woman… As a woman of color…’’ all these ‘only’ characteristics that you have, I needed to show up differently. And to be fair, and this is to your naysayer listener, I had to. I really did have to.” (24:07 | Daisy Auger-Dominguez)“I know the system has failed me, but how do I exercise my agency to figure out how I thrive in this way, and by doing that, help change the system? Because by my figuring out, ‘How do I show up differently, and ‘How do I help others show up differently,’ we help build that new leadership. We were just talking about how most leaders are using the same old playbook. Well, how do we rewrite the playbook together?” (27:02 | Daisy Auger-Dominguez)Links
Connect with Daisy Auger-Dominguez:
https://www.daisyauger-dominguez.com
https://www.instagram.com/daisyaugerdominguez/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/daisyaugerdominguez/
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Burnout doesn’t have to be your story. Apply to UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start your journey toward lasting recovery. Spots are limited—apply now! https://bit.ly/unfryapply
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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Ready to leave burnout behind for good? Join UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start reclaiming your energy and joy. Apply today! https://bit.ly/unfryapply
“What kind of 85-year-old do you want to be?” asks Cathy Richards, exercise physiologist, wellness coach and best-selling author of “Boom! Six Steps to Living a Longer, Healthier Life” who joins the podcast to help us learn what we can do to protect our brains against neurodegenerative diseases such as dementia and Alzheimer’s Disease. The habits we build now—starting with as little as just five minutes a day—will help, in large part, to determine the quality of our later years.
The best thing you can do? Get moving. This doesn’t have to mean exercise. Cathy and Cait discuss the power of movement to not only yield physical benefits such as weight loss, but helps to promote neuroplasticity that will help us develop healthier thoughts and, ultimately, belief systems. The point is to build small consistent habits over time.
The future is coming faster than we think. Though none of us has entire control over it, we can begin today to form the best version of ourselves in the future.
Quotes
“I will say that I think that sleep is one of the biggest things we can do…I don’t think in general that sleep is protected as much and it’s not part of American culture to get enough sleep, I would say, in my opinion. I feel like we’re always deciding if we have more to do, we just stay up late and we get up early.” (9:32 | Cathy Richards)“Totally modest investment of time can yield enormous benefits. It doesn’t have to be a lot, it doesn’t have to be complicated and we really can’t afford not to. That’s the thing, if we could prescribe movement, whether it’s for migraines, or whatever it is, or whatever your problem, movement can fix it, or can help fix it. Almost every single solitary time.” (17:30 | Cathy Richards) “People get stressed out thinking, ‘What do I need to do to prevent my heart disease?...what do I need to do to protect my brain?’ Guess what? It’s all the same list…Moving your body has more impact on your brain function than anything else you could do.” (33:18 | Cathy Richards) “You don’t turn into the kind of 85-year-old that’s in a nursing home versus traveling the world at 84. We’re building the kind of 85-year-old we want to be right now.” (47:52 | Cathy Richards)Links
Connect with Cathy Richards:
https://www.cathyrichards.net/blog/taking-a-year-to-inspire-vitality-in-yourself https://www.cathyrichards.neet
https://www.instagram.com/inspiringvitality
https://www.linkedin.com/in/cathymrichards/
https://www.cathyrichards.net/brainpower.html https://www.facebook.com/groups/intentionallivingandlongevity
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Burnout doesn’t have to be your story. Apply to UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start your journey toward lasting recovery. Spots are limited—apply now! https://bit.ly/unfryapply
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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Ready to leave burnout behind for good? Join UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start reclaiming your energy and joy. Apply today! https://bit.ly/unfryapply
“We really need to break our limitations of what we say rest is,” says Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, a board-certified internal medicine physician, internationally renowned thought leader on well-being, and author of the bestselling book “Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity.” By overwhelming demand, Dr. Saundra joins the FRIED podcast to discuss the seven types of rest, which she explains is distinct from—but nonetheless essential to—sleep. She’ll explain how you can determine in which area of your life—from the mental, physical and emotional, to the sensorial, spiritual and creative—-you are experiencing the greatest rest deficit, and how you can begin to fill those empty buckets amidst your busy life, not around it.
Along the way she reveals some surprising insights about the nature of rest and unpacks some of our most enduring misconceptions about it. Often what we think of as rest is really more work and when we think we are relaxing we are just indulging ourselves. She explains the difference between fitting in and true belonging, why trauma dumping can actually cause more stress, and why that watercolor painting class is not as creatively restoring as you may think it is.
Over 250,000 people have discovered their personal rest deficit with Dr. Saundra’s help. Join today’s episode to learn how you can discover yours and start your journey toward overcoming burnout and living your best life.
Quotes
“I got to this point where I realized all of the work and energy that I put into building that life that looks so good, I could put the same energy into building a life that actually felt good, and that actually was a life that was satisfying and did give me the things that I desire.” (4:49 | Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith) “Do something. Don’t settle for exhaustion. I feel like that’s the culture we’ve lived in. We’ve settled for, ‘Well this is just how everybody feels. Everybody’s burnt out. Everyone’s exhausted. Nobody’s happy.’ It’s not true. It’s a lie.” (13:51 | Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith)“I think for a lot of people, we feel like sleep is the end all/be all of rest. And so we try to bypass all other forms of stress and just go straight to, ‘Give me six, seven, eight hours of deep, restorative sleep,’ and that’s just not the reality of it. You can pop pills all day, you’re not going to have restorative sleep. It just doesn’t work like that. It’s something that comes when your body, your mind, your spirit, your relationships, all of those components of rest feel safe, they feel rested. So, then it’s like your whole self is able to completely go into the truly helpless state of deep, restorative sleep.” (17:32 | Saundra Dalton-Smith) “Fifty years ago…we trained our brains for memorization, concentration and focus, whereas now we train our brains to multitask.” (21:08 | Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith)Links
Connect with Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith:
https://www.drdaltonsmith.com/
https://www.instagram.com/drdaltonsmith
https://www.linkedin.com/in/drdaltonsmith/
https://restquiz.com/
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Burnout doesn’t have to be your story. Apply to UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start your journey toward lasting recovery. Spots are limited—apply now! https://bit.ly/unfryapply
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“Making yourself feel good in your own space is really important,” urges host Cait Donovan on today’s episode of FRIED, the second in a six-part series dedicated to the various factors that make us more vulnerable to burnout. Following the episode which covered factors in the workplace, today’s episode discusses the impact of our environment—both interior and exterior—on our parasympathetic nervous system and our ability to handle stress. Today, Cait will cover the importance of light exposure—and lack thereof—as well green spaces, clutter piles, and when. You’ll learn why even the way you store your cutlery can change the way you feel in your own space.
No matter how much time, energy or money you have to devote to changing your environment—every little adjustment makes a difference. Cait shares research and science behind her suggestions, while also encouraging you to cater to your own individual preferences. She’ll share the three colors that are proven to inspire calm in the home, how to increase the function of your prefrontal cortex and how to create community around you even when you live alone.
Ready to leave burnout behind for good? Join UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start reclaiming your energy and joy. Apply today! https://bit.ly/unfryapplyWhat small shift can you make in your environment in the next week? With that one small change you will begin to buy yourself the energy you will need to make the larger changes in your burnout recovery.
Quotes
“A lot of times, this is something that we have a lot of control over for relatively low cost—if not totally free—and we’re not thinking about it because so much of the “self-help” work out there is about fixing your mindset, and managing your perfectionism and doing something about your boundaries. Sometimes, when you can’t do any of those things, I want you to know there is still something you can do, some changes you can make, some influence you can have without having to be focused on doing all this work all the time.” (2:02 | Caitlin Donovan) “When you view the sunrise and view the sunset and your eyes are exposed—there are actually cones and rods in your eyes that are exposed to a particular level of blue light that’s given out during those hours, that help to set off your hormonal cascade, the circadian rhythm of your hormonal cascade properly.” (6:49 | Caitlin Donovan)“When we’re thinking about burnout recovery, we [often think] ‘Go boundaries, and have these conversations and maybe even quit your job or talk to your manager,’ and do all these big life things. Sometimes, the first thing you need to do is buy a round nightstand or something else equally seemingly insignificant in your world that will help lower your stress level so that you can manage the other things in your life with more ease so that you have more buffer in your stress response system to be able to handle the rest of life.” (13:41 | Caitlin Donovan) “You should feel community within your household if there are other people who live with you, and/or around your household. So, if there is no community at all in your neighborhood, even if the only community you have is that you have a dog and the fellow dog walkers say hello to each other when they’re out, that matters.” (17:32 | Caitlin Donovan)Links
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Burnout doesn’t have to be your story. Apply to UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start your journey toward lasting recovery. Spots are limited—apply now! https://bit.ly/unfryapply
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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“I completely lost myself, my physical, mental and emotional well-being, but I lost my identity. I was no longer Claudia, I was the caregiver,” explains today’s guest Claudia Taboada, a holistic wellness and burnout prevention coach, bestselling author and international speaker who joins FRIED today to discuss the experience of burnout by those who care for neurodiverse children. After her oldest son was diagnosed with autism in 2003, Claudia left her job to care for him full time. Soon, not only was she mentally and physically exhausted from trying to be, as she called it, the “autism supermom” but she lost sight of her own goals and aspirations along the way. On today’s episode, she explains how a guide dog who had been gifted to the family to help with son’s development, actually helped her realize how important it is for those who care for everyone else to carve out time to care for themselves, to de-clutter their minds, to get their bodies moving and reconnect with themselves.
Of course, for most women, this is easier said than done. Claudia talks to host Cait Donovan about the pressure to people-please, to put one’s own needs last on the list, and the importance of filling your own cup. She also discusses setting mental boundaries against toxic people and influences, while also pushing past our own limiting beliefs and fears, and what she does to foster a growth mindset.
Ready to leave burnout behind for good? Join UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start reclaiming your energy and joy. Apply today! https://bit.ly/unfryapplyQuotes
“It was really about decluttering the mind. On these walks, I was by myself—and the dog—but I was into the present moment. They were mindful walks, I called them ‘the mindful walks.’ I was on my stride, and the smells, the sights—everything. So, I was in the present moment and that finally allowed my mind to start decluttering. The mind started to declutter and I started to reconnect with myself.” (9:37 | Claudia Taboada)“I crossed the finish line and that was the moment, that was my epiphany—my real epiphany—where I said, ‘This is it. Burnout stops here. I need to take charge. I need to take charge of my physical, mental and emotional health because I have been neglecting myself and as the mother of a severely autistic child who is going to be dependent on me for the rest of his days, I cannot die. I need to recover from this burnout and I need to stay in peak mental, physical and emotional state to be able to not only take care of him in the long run, but also go after my dreams and my aspirations, which I had lost.” (13:26 | Claudia Taboada) “I also have my own identity now. So even though my life is harder now because I’m by myself, taking care of my son, I’m also feeling fulfilled and I’m doing my things and I have my business and all that. And I have learned how to put my boundaries around my caregiving role so that I can do my own things as well.” (20:15 | Claudia Taboada) “Women, we have been conditioned to give, to be everything to everyone and we put ourselves at the bottom of the priority list, and when we start setting boundaries and when we start saying, ‘Well, maybe I also have needs,’ we feel guilty. Whether it’s at work or it’s at home, we feel guilty.” (22:02 | Claudia Taboada)Links
Connect with Claudia Taboada:
https://claudiataboada.com/
www.linkedin.com/in/claudia-taboada-216a901bb
https://calendly.com/claudiataboada/30-minute--gameplan-call
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Burnout doesn’t have to be your story. Apply to UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start your journey toward lasting recovery. Spots are limited—apply now! https://bit.ly/unfryapply
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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“Irrational fear is just a sign of depletion,” said Sarah Vosen in a recent conversation with co-host Cait Donovan. This profound insight became the foundation for today’s episode. According to Chinese medicine, the paralyzing anxiety that often accompanies burnout—leaving you disconnected from yourself and others, doubting your intuition, and retreating from the world—stems from a depletion of energy in the kidney system. Citing the book “Rooted in Spirit: The Heart of Chinese Medicine,” Cait explains that when the heart and kidney systems fail to connect and communicate, it leads to insecurity, hesitation, and a loss of perspective on life’s possibilities.
So, what can we do about it? Since fear is a physical symptom of a deeper issue, the solution lies in the physical realm. Sarah and Cait discuss dietary changes, exercise, and environmental adjustments that can help restore kidney energy. They also delve into a specific visualization technique and even suggest the best fashion choices to support this healing process.
Join the conversation to discover the surprising and common physical signs that may be linked to the kidney’s energetic system, along with a specific exercise that could bring you the relief you’ve been seeking.
Ready to leave burnout behind for good? Join UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start reclaiming your energy and joy. Apply today! https://bit.ly/unfryapplyQuotes
“When you’re feeling irrational fear, it feels like it’s the biggest thing, top priority, it is coloring everything in your world. It’s a big deal.” (2:31 | Sarah Vosen)“It’s just a sign—not to minimize that it feels gigantic, but it’s just a sign—it’s just one of the ways that your body’s telling you, ‘I’m so depleted that I am terrified of everything on purpose. I’m telling you that I’m scared of everything because I want you to sit still. I want you to honor this fear and stop pushing yourself because you are dangerously depleted.’” (3:45 | Sarah Vosen) “This goes both ways: when this communication is disrupted, fear is the result. And also, when there is too much fear, a disruption of this communication can be the result.” (9:11 | Caitlin Donovan)“Your hesitation to take a step forward in any direction because you feel like it’s all wrong and you’re going to hurt yourself and you just don’t know. You can’t trust because you’re disconnected from your heart. Your heart is no longer leading you in the way that it used to. We didn’t even used to think about it, but a lot of times, you just thought, ‘Oh. That feels good. I’m going to do that.’ But when you’re not connected to your heart anymore and this fear is driving you, it actually just drives you straight into the ground.” (10:29 | Sarah Vosen) “Most people don’t necessarily know this but the heart sends more signals to the brain during the day than the brain sends to the heart—this is not Chinese medicine, this is Western research. So, your heart is sending more information to your brain than the other way around. So, your heart has a lot of influence over how you function on a day-to-day basis.” (11:19 | Caitlin Donovan)Links
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Burnout doesn’t have to be your story. Apply to UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start your journey toward lasting recovery. Spots are limited—apply now! https://bit.ly/unfryapply
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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“If you’re ready to recover, understand what’s going on with you, and get a life you love, let’s do this,” says Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum, a leading expert on Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and fibromyalgia. The author of 12 books, including the best-selling “From Fatigued to Fantastic,” Dr. Teitelbaum joins the FRIED podcast to discuss the similarities between these conditions and burnout, including four key symptoms, and how they are distinct. He likens the hypothalamus—a crucial brain area controlling hormones, adrenaline, and thyroid function—to a circuit breaker that trips to prevent the body from “burning down.” He suggests that living inauthentically and ignoring our true needs can trigger these health issues, serving as crucial warnings that we need to realign our lives.
Dr. Teitelbaum critiques the shortcomings of a profit-driven Western medical system that often fails to recognize these conditions, despite its claims of evidence-based practice. He and host Cait delve into the benefits of homeopathic and natural remedies, and discuss a common hormonal issue affecting a significant portion of the population.
Dr. Teitelbaum also shares his personal struggle with chronic fatigue, which led him to drop out of medical school and briefly live on a park bench. His journey to becoming a healer in his own right is not only a testament to his resilience but also serves as a beacon of hope for anyone on their own path to recovery from burnout.
Ready to leave burnout behind for good? Join UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start reclaiming your energy and joy. Apply today! https://bit.ly/unfryapplyQuotes
“Burnout includes the physiology of CFS and fibromyalgia, sometimes, but burnout, to me, is when you’re not being authentic. You’re doing stuff you don’t want to be doing—you’re doing what you should be doing, but you hate it, you’ve outgrown that.” (8:25 | Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum) “Do you see chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia or long Covid as a more extreme place from burnout? Yes. It’s when your body’s giving you a symptom of burnout to say, ‘You’re on the wrong path; Cliff Ahead,’ and getting you to slow down and change direction. The cliff is chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia or that part of long Covid. That’s when you go over the cliff because you didn’t listen to your psyche when it said, ‘Wrong Way.’” (12:04 | Caitlin Donovan and Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum) “People need to realize there’s not a single way to get to where you want to go. You can go north and south and get to the same place, you just need to turn west. There are all kinds of ways to get there. In medicine, we’re geared to, ‘What is the most profitable?’ The doctors are almost all really good people who think they’re doing the right thing. They say their catechisms every morning, they say, ‘Evidence-based medicine. Domini, Domini, Domini.’ And the drug reps are these cheerleaders.” (35:13 | Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum) “Steer with some simple things. Number one: how does that feel to you? Your brain is a computer, it’s a product of your programming… It has no clue who you are. Your feelings know who you are.” (43:45 | Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum)Links
Connect with Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum:
https://endfatigue.com/
https://www.instagram.com/jacobteitelbaummd/
https://endfatigue.com/wp-content/uploads/documents/gifts/3-Steps-to-Happiness-Healing-Through-Joy.pdf
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Burnout doesn’t have to be your story. Apply to UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start your journey toward lasting recovery. Spots are limited—apply now! (https://bit.ly/unfryapply)
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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“We sometimes resist our own healing because it feels like punishment,” says Sarah Vosen in this latest #sarashares episode of FRIED. Today, she discusses the challenge of healing, which despite being good for us, doesn’t necessarily always feel great. And because of this, we are tempted to self sabotage, retreat back into our old coping mechanisms, and continue to sacrifice long term growth and greater reward for smaller, short-term rewards—or merely the illusion thereof. You may recognize yourself in a few of the scenarios that Sarah shares to illustrate how we can backslide down the slippery slope of healing. She also shares her own journey toward healthy eating and forming a new relationship to alcohol, and the incremental success in forming new habits.
As with everything in nature and the universe, contraction is as natural an element of the growth and healing process as expansion. So, on our healing journey, for every step forward there may be a retreat back to old, comforting habits, especially when we’re physically and emotionally exhausted. That’s why we must take it slow and steady, show ourselves grace and reward, and look for and accept support. Sarah discusses the subject of “revenge procrastination,” and the big questions that lay at the heart of our resistance to change.
With vulnerability and courage, Sarah continues to share her own journey with us so that we can learn more about what it means to heal from burnout and take bold action along our own path.
Ready to leave burnout behind for good? Join UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start reclaiming your energy and joy. Apply today! (https://bit.ly/unfryapply)Quotes
“Continuing to use only these instant gratification comforts is like choosing a consolation prize that’s depleting over time because they’re like empty calories—sometimes literally—or sometimes more like empty fulfillment, like how a diet soda is sweet but not really. It isn’t exactly satisfying.The real prizes are the ones that healing provides.” (2:33 | Sarah Vosen) “All periods of growth have a retreat following them, just like winter is a retreat of energy from the full out growth period of the summer.” (8:23 | Sarah Vosen) “When you are embarking on a healing journey, remember that in order to change, you have to change, and with change comes growing pains, mostly because you have to shift your habits away from a lifestyle that is the only safety you know, and has been comforting you in some way, for years. Even if it wasn’t helpful for you in many other ways.” (11:52 | Sarah Vosen)“You’ve heard it said before and I’ll say it again: make smaller changes. If you’re very tired, make even smaller changes. I know it won’t seem like enough, but it will add up.” (19:04 | Sarah Vosen)Links
Dahlia blooming: https://www.instagram.com/thesusanakennedy/reel/C4IFC-wA3pN/
Scheduling acupuncture with Sarah near Minneapolis, MN:
https://acusimple.com/access/7008/#/appointments/8888/list/42506/2024-03-14/
FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/friedtheburnoutpodcast/
Newsletter sign up for office hours: https://www.caitdonovan.com/newsletter-office-hours
1:1 coaching consults for Sarah: https://caitdonovan.as.me/coachwithsarah
1:1 coaching consults for Cait: https://caitdonovan.as.me/initial
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Burnout doesn’t have to be your story. Apply to UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start your journey toward lasting recovery. Spots are limited—apply now! (https://bit.ly/unfryapply)
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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“I’m giving you permission to give up,” says Courtney Clark, author of the recent book “Revisionary Thinking,” who joins the FRIED podcast to talk about the power of quitting. After being diagnosed with cancer four times starting at a very early age, she became acutely aware of the demand our culture makes on staying positive at all costs, creating a vacuum around anything even resembling a negative, or even more realistic thought. In workplace and career, this means we tend to stay on a career path past the time we realize it’s not working, convinced there is only one way to do things.
Quitting doesn’t mean abandoning your dreams—or just lazing on the couch. Instead, Courtney encourages us to ‘supersize’ our dreams, to realize what you really want in the big picture, so that you can allow for more than one path to get there. And the more paths there are to get to our dreams the more chances we have to achieve them.
Most of us have done this type of pivoting in our lives, perhaps without even realizing it. Courtney and Caitlin share their experiences in ‘supersizing’ in their career as well as in their personal lives.
Ready to leave burnout behind for good? Join UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start reclaiming your energy and joy. Apply today! (https://bit.ly/unfryapply)Quotes
“We’ve very much romanticized the idea of powering through and putting on a happy face and I think part of the reason we like it, and we tell ourselves that story that other people are suffering’, Oh, they’re doing it with so much grace,’ we like that because, I believe, that it allows us to cling to this thought, this hope, that, if it were us, we’d be OK, too. ‘It’s bad but it’s not so bad.’ But the reality is then, that can lead friends, family, the support system to minimize.” (7:33 | Courtney Clark)“I believe we’ve created this culture where if you can’t find positivity, you’re bad and wrong. And if we could just kind of let that go, and maybe just allow two things to co-exist at the same time. You can have gratitude for something for where it got you and what you have because of it and also decide, ‘I don’t have to hold onto this forever.’” (12:23 | Courtney Clark)“There are a lot of people shouting and saying, ‘Change the system so that it’s what I wanted it to be.’ Instead of, ‘I’m going to quit the system and still help people or still engage with people in a way that’s more aligned.’”(18:17 | Caitlin Donovan)“A lot of times when we set what we think is a goal, we’ve really made a plan. And when we realize and we buy into the more ways you have to achieve something, the more achievable it is, then in order to build a lot of paths to something, you need to make a bigger goal. This is a strategy I call ‘supersizing’ your goal.” (23:14 | Courtney Clark)Links
Connect with Courtney Clark:
https://www.courtneyclark.com/
https://www.instagram.com/courtney_l_clark/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/courtneylclark/
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Burnout doesn’t have to be your story. Apply to UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start your journey toward lasting recovery. Spots are limited—apply now! (https://bit.ly/unfryapply)
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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Host Cait Donovan is back with another #straightfromcait episode, this time discussing the six factors which leave you most vulnerable to workplace burnout. Drawing from leading research, she will explain how you can evaluate these factors in order to make the best decisions for yourself going forward.
These factors will be all too familiar to longtime FRIED listeners—or anyone going through burnout recovery. Cait discusses the many ways that values can misalign in the workplace as well as how to respond when you feel your contributions are being under appreciated. She’ll reveal just how many friends the average person needs to have in the workplace, according to research, and how to deal with a micromanaging boss.
Tune in to today’s episode where you’ll also learn how to deal with a lack of autonomy and how to determine when your workload is unmanageable.
Ready to leave burnout behind for good? Join UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start reclaiming your energy and joy. Apply today! (https://bit.ly/unfryapply)Quotes
“If you know these things, then you can start to make some changes, see where things can be shifted and where they can’t be shifted and then maybe make some better decisions moving forward in your workplace.” (1:44 | Caitlin Donovan)“If you have high levels of job strain and low levels of resources, that becomes an unbearable workload.” (2:28 | Caitlin Donovan) “There’s a ton of research that says that you need one solid friend in the workplace in order to feel like somebody’s got your back and to feel connected to your workplace.” (3:08 | Caitlin Donovan)“There’s only so much you can do when someone hasn’t learned how to trust the people that work for them. You can’t change that for them, that’s their own stuff that they’ve got to work through. The only control you have is whether or not you work under this person.” (5:18 | Caitlin Donovan) “If you’re feeling a lack of fairness, you need to know what it’s about in order to decide whether or not you can influence it.” (7:47 | Caitlin Donovan)Links
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Burnout doesn’t have to be your story. Apply to UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start your journey toward lasting recovery. Spots are limited—apply now! (https://bit.ly/unfryapply)
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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“You’re such a light and I feel like your flame is being extinguished,” said Maggie Reyes’ husband when she was experiencing burnout. For many, addressing their partners’ burnout and its impact on the relationship—stress, resentment, uneven distribution of responsibility, feeling unacknowledged—is as challenging as recognizing their own burnout. Today, Maggie, a master certified life coach, modern marriage mentor, and author of the bestselling book “Questions for Couples,” as well as the host of the popular podcast “Marriage Life Coach,” returns to FRIED to discuss how couples can navigate burnout recovery for the benefit of all involved.
Maggie will discuss how those suffering from burnout can start to vocalize and recognize their needs and wants, starting with small steps. Women, in particular, often find it difficult to speak up. Maggie will explain when it’s best to be direct and specific, when to be gentle and loving, and how to know when it’s time to take a break.
What should you do when both partners are burnt out, but one can’t—or won’t—acknowledge it? Tune in to today’s discussion to find out.
Ready to leave burnout behind for good? Join UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start reclaiming your energy and joy. Apply today! (https://bit.ly/unfryapply)Quotes
“What are the symptoms or the byproducts of burnout? If you think specifically in a marriage or in an intimate relationship, it’s the stuff you stop doing where the other person has to pick up the slack, so to speak. If you’re feeling a lot of resentment or they’re just piling on one more thing on top of you and you feel overwhelmed on a regular basis. For you it feels overwhelming, and for them it feels like they’re not being seen, they’re not being seen or being heard.” (4:57 | Maggie Reyes) “When we have enough self-awareness to know that we’re in it, there’s no subtlety. It’s ‘I’m drowning. I need help. You may not see it because everything is put together, you’re not feeling the effect of it at all because I’m still juggling all these balls, but everything’s about to drop.’” (8:48 | Maggie Reyes)“What’s hiding in the middle of burnout is, we don’t even know what to ask for because we’re so overwhelmed with everything. But the minute we have any awareness of, ‘I would like it to be warmer,’ then that’s my ask: ‘Can we just close the window?’” So, what is my ‘ask’ here? What would bring me relief here?” (10:27 | Maggie Reyes) “For some partners, their burnout is their identity. It’s so tied to who they are, how much they do is so tied to who they are that it’s almost like, to deal with their burnout would threaten their self-concept and their image of themselves.” (13:30 | Maggie Reyes)“If you have to be at a 2 for someone else to be at a 5, you need to run.” (30:39 | Maggie Reyes)Links
Connect with Maggie Reyes:
https://maggiereyes.com/
https://www.instagram.com/themaggiereyes/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/maggiereyes001/
https://learn.maggiereyes.com/powerquestions
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Burnout doesn’t have to be your story. Apply to UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start your journey toward lasting recovery. Spots are limited—apply now! (https://bit.ly/unfryapply)
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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“There is a perfect fit out there for you,” encourages host Cait Donovan in this episode of FRIED, where she and Sarah Vosen discuss the process of job searching while recovering from burnout. They guide you through a four-step framework to navigate this challenging process.
The goal is to dig beneath the trauma and anxiety of burnout to where your instincts and intuition can guide you toward what you truly want. This is your chance to reacquaint yourself with your true values, not those imposed by family, friends, or society. You’ll learn how to access Cait’s complimentary worksheet and how to hold yourself accountable as you complete the exercise—ideally more than once.
Though it can be scary to face the working world again while still healing, if you allow yourself to dream big, you’ll find your perfect alignment. Cait and Sarah are living examples of this journey.
Ready to leave burnout behind for good? Join UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start reclaiming your energy and joy. Apply today! (https://bit.ly/unfryapply)Quotes
“This also sort of gives you an opportunity to tap back into your intuition, which you’ve probably lost connection with during burnout and you probably stopped trusting yourself. So, while it takes time to build trust with a new company and new bosses and new team members, it also, in burnout recovery, takes time to build trust with yourself. Can I make the right decision? What if I make the wrong decision?” (7:58 | Cait Donovan) “Anchor yourself in the belief that there is a well-aligned job out there that will allow you to earn money and keep your health and have colleagues and be joyful—not saying you’re not going to have a stressful day now and again, not saying you’re going to love every single person you work with, it’s not going to be a cult—but there is a perfect fit out there for you. We see this over and over and over again in situations where it really should not exist.” (11:47 | Cait Donovan) “Honestly, we’re these people, too. I mean, for real. It’s a little different when it’s an entrepreneurial thing because we’re making small adjustments and course corrections over time, but we have become better and better bosses and made decisions that fit each of us. We’re making decisions collectively and individually that are better and better for us and it’s working.” (13:03 | Sarah Vosen)Links
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Burnout doesn’t have to be your story. Apply to UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start your journey toward lasting recovery. Spots are limited—apply now! (https://bit.ly/unfryapply)
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