Episoder

  • John, LB and Niki prepare for their upcoming 100th episode by first questioning the validity of their 99th episode, then pivoting to a number of topics not entirely unfamiliar to the program, including prison tattoo technology, loose orbs for your desk, salty licorice, the food fads of yore, making viral videos "dog friendly," step-by-step instructions for committing felony bank fraud, and if you're still hungry, somehow even more.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • LB returns from space and is appalled by what they discover: John and Niki, exactly the same as ever. Unfortunately for LB, the podcast's mystical properties immediately begin working to erode any perspective or normalcy that they acquired during their working hiatus. You will be pleased to know that topics of discussion for this episode include Al Roker's diaper guy, a complete plot summary for The Usual Suspects, Mario's greatest challenge yet, and just like always, somehow a lot more.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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  • With LB still trapped in space, Niki and John are joined by #1 Drivey Superfan Michael Higham for a fun-filled romp through a variety of salient discussions, including a beer bong for piss, whether or not Caillou is "just bald," the racial demographics of Ireland, carrying a knife in Big 5 Sporting Goods, how they get the lotion in the tissues, gambling, and in ways you're not ready for, somehow so much more.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • John went up to rescue LB from the International Space Station and got himself also stuck in the process, so this week Niki is joined by friend of the show Charles Harte to discuss a wide variety of topics, including (but not limited to) flat tummy water, bread with seeds in it, girl-related juice, Charles' "anti-Karen" mom, leaving reviews for things, reading reviews for other things, buying microphones from TikTok, and somehow, yes, even more.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving (edited)

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • Hey folks! In case you missed it, new episodes now happen on Monday! Happy Monday! Also LB is trapped in space for a few weeks but that's not a permanent change, so don't worry. We've got a lot of fun guests to help out over the next couple weeks, including me, Jordan, the producer, who is on the show this week! I tend to make the show less funny with my sincerity but I think y'all will still have a good time with this one. :)


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • John, LB and Niki press onward despite a number of seemingly insurmountable challenges, including the return of Scam Text Theater (feat. Reginald Thimbleberry), getting a colonoscopy, jerking off with L. Ron Hubbard, distractingly large famous penises, official communique from the State Department, and against all odds, somehow even more.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • Hi this is Jordan!! I wasn't around for the recording of this one and all LB said is "warnings for spoilers of Manhunter and idk what else," so you're on your own for this one folks! Hope it turns out okay! Thanks and sorry!


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • Niki, LB and John discuss the need for change in America's relationship with its own milquetoast national anthem, in addition to related topics, such as the price of Prozac, new innovations in scrotum technology, the Batman Returns iteration of Catwoman, being Johnest with each other, and predictably, somehow even more.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • John, Niki and LB go the extra mile this week by proving evolution, showcasing their incredible psychic powers, taking the time to look at and think about breasts while live on a podcast, exposing the Coors nuclear waste controversy, making the world-first announcement of a new Shrek film, and if you can believe it, somehow even more.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • Remember, remember the 5th of Julember ...


    (In this episode LB, Niki and John [all best friends] discuss where "it" goes "after butthole," the Ben Shapiro that escaped containment, the rules of being a ghost, Reba, the legitimacy of antibiotic warnings, the Cisco Groove, and reluctantly, somehow even more.)


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • LB, Niki and John crest the final apex of Gimmick Month, playing a brand-new game of Niki's design, pushing friendships to the limit and making us rethink everything we know about the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics. Other topics of discussion include (but are not limited to) Christian for-profit universities, Hootie & the Blowfish, sex ramps, tinned fish, and with our arms wide, somehow even more.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • Gimmick Month continues with The Second Annual White Off, where we see which of our four contestants is the whitest. Once that's settled (the results will SHOCK YOU), Niki, LB and John also discuss serving cunt in the chicken line, whether curling "has balls," hanging out with Jenny Nicholson, whether you can "get one out of a dead guy," John's recent horrible hotel experience, and predictably, somehow even more.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • Gimmick month continues with our first-annual Master Chief Beach Week, the replacement holiday full of sand, sun and fun! Or that's what the copy says anyway, in practice it's mostly talk about the various ways that white people ruin the beach without even enjoying it themselves, in addition to various diversions concerning bumper stickers, scented markers, what a Halo even is actually, the names of various guys from Halo, and you can bet your little space pants, somehow even more.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • John, Niki and LB are all in the same place! Wowie zowie! That means an in-person recording, which also means the audio is a little roomier than usual, but the vibes are still just like you like 'em! Topics of discussion for this week include (but are not limited to) the world of dreams, emotionally insensitive burlesque performers, Dan Ryckert's upcoming zone scoop, True Detective Season 2, leaving a five-star review on a podcast called If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, and somehow, even more.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • John, Niki and LB ascend the Gender Tower for an episode that's going to be just as much of a surprise for you as it is for me, because I haven't heard it yet! Also featuring a surprise visit from Former Chief Medical Advisor to the President of United States Anthony Fauci. Oh no!


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • Teetering on the edge of oblivion, four friends (three regular and one frog) embark on a sacred journey of personal discovery. During their travels, the group discusses many topics of importance, including why Jon Bon Jovi cheated on his wife, what the white lady from TikTok is up to these days, the various slogans of Outback Steakhouse, which birds are/aren't birds, and demonstrably, somehow even more.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • It's John. It's Niki. It's LB. It's all three of them, and they're here, being as smart and drunk as ever, talking about the things YOU care about most, including a brand-new legal system for punishments, the hairy teeter, the history of Atlantis, the long-awaited return of Scam Text Theater, notes for John's acting skills, tall buildings, and somehow even more.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://twitter.com/Jordan_Mallory/) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • In what is perhaps our most cracked episode to date, LB, Niki and John struggle to overcome a well of extreme negative energy by playing jenga, inventing new uses for numbers stations, selling phone numbers for more ketamine, re-learning Flonase, answering a telemarketer call live on the podcast, and against all odds, somehow even more.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://twitter.com/Jordan_Mallory/) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • With LB on a Hero's Journey through the bowels of Hell, John and Niki once again conscript Producer Jordan into the triumvirate of intellect that is If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes. Topics of discussion for this meeting include (but are not limited to) the contents of John's most recent stress dream, carbon monoxide poisoning, ape films, photos of odd occurrences that Jordan has experienced recently, a "real brief" explanation of the complete history of Transformers, and even without trying, somehow even more.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://twitter.com/Jordan_Mallory/) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • LB, Niki and John, having achieved unparalleled success as super-famous TikTok influencers, return to their humble podcasting roots for another round of important discussions, including (but not limited to) how much of acting is just demon possession, that Drew Carey tweet, white people music, discovering the source of 95% of the stress in LB's life, and dude, somehow even more.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.


    Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://twitter.com/Jordan_Mallory/) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/).


    Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Get bonus content on Patreon

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.