Episoder
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I am SO excited about today’s interview. You’ll recognize my guest today - Julietta Skoog my co-founder and the Early Years Lead here at Sproutable! She’s here today to talk about back-to-school season with middle schoolers.
Julietta and I cover so much this week - balancing caring for our kids & our aging parents, the jarring differences between elementary & middle school, and watching their decision-making and mistakes. We talk about why kids come home so upset & frustrated from school and how to create routines & systems that work for your family.
We really dig into the difference between scaffolding and witnessing, how to support middle schoolers with their homework, the friend drama (especially when it’s new friends/families that you don’t know), and how screens & texting affect those friendships.
Takeways from the show
“Sandwich season” - taking care of your young children & aging parents at the same time
What do summers look like when your kids aren’t little anymore?
Navigating phones & screens with middle schoolers
Fears & concerns around safety - “what if?” energy
The after-school release & attitude
“September is a month of grace” - it won’t always be back-to-school season!
Creating systems & routines that work for your family
Friend drama in Middle School (high highs & low lows)
Self-reflection as a growing skill
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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Screens!! I know - will we ever get to a place of NOT needing to talk about screens?? Today's episode is a messy exploration of the subtle ways kids are pulled into their relationship with screens, and the importance of developing life skills WHILE providing guardrails for keeping our kids safe. Plus, an invitation to take an honest look at how OUR use is adding to the messaging our kids are getting... Did I mention this is messy? It is. Listen in and let me know what you think.
See all show notes and info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-514-a-messy-conversation-about-screens-limits-and-life-skill-development/
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My guest today is Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein and we’re talking about sexism and our daughters.
Dr. Finkelstein kicks us off by sharing how a pink hockey stick impacted her childhood and inspired her to speak about sexism & gender bias. I ask what intergenerational transmission of sexism is, and Dr. Finkelstein helps me deconstruct an incident I had with Ronan about how she was dressing in 8th grade.
We ponder on how we can raise strong women in a patriarchal society that can be violent towards women without victimizing our girls or instilling fear and how to navigate bodily autonomy in a world where their bodies sometimes are not safe and don’t feel like their own. It’s you and your daughter against the unfairness of the patriarchy & the culture, not each other!
I ask Dr. Finkelstein what messaging young girls are receiving from media & pop culture right now, how we can teach & encourage young women to stand up for themselves & feel empowered without putting themselves in danger, and how we can have meaningful conversations with them men & boys in our life about sexism & patriarchy.
Takeaways from the show
The intergenerational transmission of sexism
The “battle” between moms & daughters about clothing
How do we raise strong women in a patriarchal society that can be violent towards women without victimizing our girls?
People get harassed (and worse) regardless of what they wear
Fostering a healthy sense of entitlement in young women
What messages are girls and young women receiving from pop culture and media right now?
Raising boys who are sensitive to sexism and male privilege
For more show notes, including transcripts, please visit our website here.
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I am back with a brand new solo show! I loved my convo with Dr. Tina Bryson (Eps 511) and was inspired to go deeper into trusting our teen’s development. This show goes into what is happening in the teen brain and how to work WITH our kids to promote relationship and autonomy over time. Enjoy!
Find full show notes and information about our sponsors at: www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-512-trusting-our-teens-development
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Dr. Tina Bryson is BACK today! I love her work, and I’m so excited she’s here to talk about launching our teens, which is incredibly timely after I dropped my youngest child off at college yesterday!
Dr. Bryson shares her wisdom on avoiding fear-based parenting & reminds us that development & maturation happens no matter what - maybe we don’t need to worry quite so much. She explains what the “right” amount of support is and why kids need to make mistakes & take risks to become wiser and more responsible. Dr. Bryson shares her own personal stories about launching two of her teens to college and how & why they were so different.
Dr. Bryson wraps us up by giving dos & don'ts for when your adolescent is in distress. We want to problem solve, criticize, or minimize, but instead, we can respond in a way that invites them to keep sharing things with us: by offering empathy & letting them solve their own problem.
Takeaways from the show
How do you know when & what you need to really worry about regarding your child(ren)? When are you wasting energy?
Avoiding fear-based parenting
Kids have to make mistakes & take risks in service of becoming wiser and more responsible
“The way our children build resilience is through adversity with the right amount of support from us”
Not burdening our teens with our feelings
The excitement & hopes we have for our adolescents and the grief & anxiety we have when they leave
How to respond (and how not to respond) when your adolescent reaches out to you in distress
We’re not launching full formed adults - we’re launching baby adults who will keep learning & developing
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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This show was a no-brainer to reshare with you all. When I recorded it, I was so fired up, and had our boys on the brain. So many of my clients and people in the community struggle with their boys. Not only struggling with their boys, but struggling to soften to the idea that the hard time the family is moving through is really a call for deeper relationship. Listen in to hear more – and don’t worry, no matter the gender your child identifies as, you will still find value in this conversation.
For more info on our sponsors and show notes, go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-460-get-past-your-resistance-and-focus-on-relationship-with-your-teen/
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Katie Connolly, a Somatic Parenting Coach, teaches me a whole lot about our nervous system and somatic tools when she drops by this week.
Katie explains how our nervous system and birthing experiences tie-in to our personal growth, who highly-sensitive people are & indicators, and why we’re able to better navigate experiences and stay connected in our bodies when we nourish our nervous system. We hit on so much this week: breathing exercises, meditation, scheduling-in time for ourselves, overstimulation, trauma, adoption, boundaries, co-regulation, and more. Katie ends by sharing specific tools and breathing patterns to try out at home.
Takeaways from the show
Understanding & supporting our nervous system and how that fits in with self-growth
Traumatic birthing experiences
Sympathetic nervous system versus parasympathetic nervous system
Each parent-child relationship is completely unique
Highly-sensitive people & indicators
Everyone has trauma in their lineage
Different breathing exercises & patterns
Short meditations
Nourishing & making time for yourself realistically
Co-regulation & the family nervous system
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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This summer throwback revisits how parenting teens keeps coming back to owning our own sh@t. This is the juicy spot. This is where the real transformational space of parenting exists. This is where we get to nurture AN ENVIRONMENT that is safe for our kids to step into. This is where we can start to dismantle the walls that have been built over time and make room for connection.
Find more show notes and info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-434-navigating-challenges-while-having-faith-in-teens/
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My guest today is Alex Edmans, and we’re hitting a super important topic this week: how to discuss fake news and social media with our teens.
Alex starts by explaining the difference between Level 1 and Level 2 of Fake News, and I ask what to do (and why) our teens bring up conspiracy theories. I ask Alex how we can nurture adolescents to fine tune their questioning, look for expertise, and teach them to look for peoples’ incentives while they’re consuming social media without making them feel defensive.
Later we talk about sextortion. How can we keep our teens from falling for scams, when their teenage brains are certain they’d never fall for one? Alex ends on a happy, hopeful note and shares an easy strategy to challenge your own confirmation biases.
Takeaways from the show
Level 1 fake news (provably false statements) versus Level 2 fake news (factually correct but misleading)
What to say when our teens bring up conspiracy theories
Why do people share fake news?
Teaching teens to be discerning & leverage their own knowledge
Asking yourself: What is the incentive this person has to post this? Are they an expert?
Sextortion - anyone can be scammed online
Teens absolutely must believe they can come to you in an “oh shit” moment
How discerning are you on your social media?
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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A powerful relisten!!! You have a great relationship with your teen and they are STILL getting into ALL the mischief? You aren't alone. In this episode, I tease this apart and remind you what the most important thing to consider is.
See all the show notes and info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-424-when-it-feels-like-your-teen-is-holding-you-hostage/
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My guest today is Dr. Matt Zakreski, an expert on neurodivergency with an eclectic approach. Dr. Matt tells me about growing up as a twice-exceptional kid himself and what he’s seeing with the teens he works with now.
I ask Dr. Matt what parents can do about the emotional intensity that comes with raising teens, especially neurodivergent teens. He reminds us that “emotions can’t be wrong,” and you know I loved it when Dr. Matt reminds us to get curious about our teen’s feelings.
Dr. Matt brings up perfectionism and why we might see more rigidity & anxiety spike during stressful times. We dig into trapdoor perfectionism, how we can invite kids to accept coaching, help, & practice when they’re resistant, and handing over energetic responsibility.
Takeaways from the show
The Performance Cliff
Asynchronous development & high emotional intensity
Raising neurodivergent kids with neurotypical siblings
Neurodivergent behavior versus typical teen behavior
“Emotions can’t be wrong”
You don’t have to understand to show up well
3 directions of perfectionism
Should = could + shame
Trapdoor perfectionism
Validating our teens gives them permission to show up authentically as themselves
Kids do as well as they can with the tools they have in that moment
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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Today's summer throwback is another intimate exploration of what it means to be human WHILE raising teenagers. We are deep diving (yet again) into our own stuff. This week focusing on the limiting beliefs we may be holding that keeps our kids small, and the war between our two selves. Join me for some personal growth and discovery!
Find all the shownotes and info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-386-limiting-beliefs-our-two-selves/
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My guest today is Dr. Bianca Busch, and weâre getting into the âfailure to launchâ or the stalling we see from some young adults. Dr. Busch shares what drew her to working with college students, and we talk about getting âcut offâ from your childâs medical, mental health, and grade information once they turn 18. Dr. Busch shares the benefits of psychiatrists working with adolescents and parents in conjunction. I ask Dr. Busch what she sees when young adults and their parents feel stuck - anxiety, depression, mismatched expectations - thereâs a lot playing in here, and itâs messy. Dr. Busch shares some tools, boundaries, & motivators, and I play with the idea of mismatched timelines. I ask what parents can do when they feel scared and what we can do when we recognize that our behaviors and beliefs are the problem and for signs that our adolescent might need more substantial help & support. We end on a happy note - celebrating our hard work in parenting, even when it doesnât look exactly how we expected it to turn out. Takeaways from the showGetting cut off from medical & mental health information once your child turns 18 The acceleration & benefits of when psychiatrists are able to work with adolescents and their parents Is âfailure to launchâ a fair expression? Why are young adults stalled out? Mismatched expectations & goals between young adults & parents Thereâs no young adults who donât want to launch; we have to discover whatâs in their way When you know your child needs support, but theyâre resistant The difference between âget your shit togetherâ and a child whose safety is at risk Motivational interviewing & coming from a place of compassion Digging in and challenging our own beliefs and being open-minded to hearing our adolescents goals, ideas, & plans Signs your young adult might need additional outside support Give yourself grace! Celebrate the parenting work you have done!For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This throwback solo show takes a closer look at how parenting with Positive Discipline does NOT equal avoiding the hard stuff, instead, it is about leaning into relationship WHEN the hard stuff shows up. Being brave is something we are invited into over and over again as we parent through the seasons of adolescence. Listen in as I explore what that looks like internally, as well as externally.
Find more show notes and info about sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-361-finding-courage-parent-teens-differently/
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It’s a tough topic this week - parental grief. Sascha Demerjian is here from The Grief House and beautifully intertwines personal stories with information.
We don’t only grieve for people that we’ve lost. Sascha explains that we also grieve for expectations, narratives, & ideas - sometimes beliefs we didn’t even realize we were holding. We talk about how meaningful it is to have somewhere safe for the messiness of grieving and how we can resist wanting to jump in and fix things when others are hurting. It comes back to trusting the process. Remember that when our adolescents “launch,” they aren’t done growing & learning - they keep growing all through adulthood, just like we do. Grief doesn’t end, but bringing it to light & sharing with a community makes a big difference.
Takeaways from the show
We get to witness our teens’ stories & narratives, not create them
Letting go of some beliefs in favor of a better relationship
We grieve for ideas & expectations, not just people we lose
Holding deep faith & trust that our adolescent’s lives are going to unfold just the way they are supposed to
“Don’t make it worse”
Working through your grief & worries with a therapist
Enabling vs. empowering
Grief doesn’t end
Bringing things out to the light & the power of community
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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Today's Throwback episode highlights shifting our thinking about how we are showing up for Gen Z and why this is crucial as we move through the adolescent years with our kids. I share three essential tools for making this shift in a way that strengthens relationship and provides space for our kids to discover who they’re meant to be.
Find all the show notes and info about our sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-357-radical-moves-for-parenting-gen-z/
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My guest today is Susie Pettit. Grab some popcorn for this one! Susie helps people with boundaries, codependency, emotional intelligence, and people-pleasing using a lifetime of experience, and today she’s here to talk about her awesome parenting tool.
You know one of my favorite mantras is “Fiercely committed, lovingly detached.” We’re good at the fiercely committed part of parenting, but the detachment part is hard! It’s hard to be with our kids when tough things are happening to them, and the urge to rescue doesn’t go away, but we have to let them make mistakes & learn. I ask Susie when we cross the line from empathy to codependency, and we agree on how important it is to trust the process & believe that everything’s going to be alright.
Takeaways from the show
“Fiercely committed, lovingly detached”
Responding with empathy instead of codependency
Mom guilt is a waste of brain power
Detached means we respond differently, not that we don’t respond at all
Doing things for our kids sends the message that we don’t think they can do it
Empathy versus codependency
“Popcorn parenting”
Trusting the process
Follow the “what if” all the way
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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This week's throwback is a reminder that we get to show up for our teens in a way that is helpful, not hurtful. They are navigating all the things and they need to know that we see them, they need to be believed and to experience validation around what is real for them.
For more show notes go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-329-being-with-whats-coming-up-for-your-teen/
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Devorah Heitner is a new friend from The Zen Parenting Conference. I really appreciated what she had to say about doing more mentoring and less monitoring with our kids and their screens. This feels like a really hard time to be raising teens and dealing with all the tech. Cutting off access to technology isn’t reasonable, so how can we engage with our teens about how they use tech? How can we resist over-monitoring with school portals and Find my iPhone at our disposal? How can we teach teens self-regulation with their own screen time?
Devorah shares ways we can help our adolescents notice how tech makes them feel so they can better self-regulate. She shares thoughts on the difference between a mistake and a chronic problem, seeing our kid’s posts, and what she’s hearing from teens about their experience right now. We discuss how we can make sure our kids know we’re really there for them when things go wrong, when kids want to be influencers, and how to manage it if we find our teens are doing harm online.
Takeaways from the show
Devorah’s New Book: “Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World”
Technology is how teens connect with their friends and peers
Sharing your own experiences online
Tracking your teen’s location via their phone - more or less stress?
Having conversations, not lectures
Even though we know technology, our teens grew up with it in an entirely different way & they think we’re clueless
It’s good that adolescents do brave, scary, & hard things (even when they scare us) - otherwise they’d never try anything
Kids who want to be influencers, YouTubers, & go viral
What to do if your kid is being harmed or harming others online
Being open & curious about your teen’s world & resisting assumptions
For more details, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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Back for another relisten - this is one I send to people regularly! Appreciating you tuning back in. And even if pot smoking isn't a challenge that is currently in your household, be sure that there are tons of nuggets in this episode for you to be taking away and integrate into your parenting.
For full show notes and info about our sponsors, go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-309-solo-show-paradox-parenting-pot-smoking/
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