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Do you have a kiddo who seems to make a career out of arguing, begging, or otherwise trying to wear you down? Parents tell me all the time how exhausting and frustrating this isâand I get it.
Itâs not just annoying; itâs one of the ways your child nudges you into a stress cycle. You probably know the feeling: your heart starts to race, your muscles tense up, and your emotions build to the point where you just want it all to stop. And sometimes, the easiest way to make it stop feels like giving in.
But what if there was another way?
Hereâs the deal: when your body goes into stress mode, itâs flooded with hormones that prepare you to act. Thatâs useful in emergencies, but in parenting, it can leave you feeling reactive, drained, and stuck in a cycle of chronic stress.
The good news? You donât have to stay stuck.
You can complete the stress cycle.
That doesnât mean eliminating the stressor (your persistent, determined kiddo) or solving every problem on the spot. It means giving your body and mind a moment to process the stress and reset.
When you take time to reset, youâre not just doing it for yourself. Youâre doing it so you can show up for your kids in a calmer, more centered way.
In this weekâs podcast I unpack the stress cycle and how to break free.
Next time youâre in the thick of a high-stress parenting moment, remember this: stepping away to take care of your stress isnât selfishâitâs essential. Itâs a small but powerful way to take care of yourself and your family.
Youâve got this. And if you need someone in your corner, Iâm here.
Drop me a line at [email protected]
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Episode Description
Today, we're exploring co-regulationâa powerful parenting tool thatâs especially important for adoptive families. Co-regulation can make a world of difference, helping our children feel safe, grounded, and connected. Whether youâre new to this concept or looking for more practical ways to apply it, this episode will guide you through what co-regulation is, why it matters, and how you can start practicing it with your kids to strengthen your family bond.Episode Breakdown
1. Introduction
I start with a story from my own experienceâan âahaâ moment that made me realize the importance of staying regulated as a parent. It was a moment that got a bit, letâs say, intense, but it became a turning point for me in prioritizing co-regulation. This story sets the stage for the rest of the episode.2. What is Co-Regulation?
We break down what co-regulation really means and how it can provide our children with a sense of safety and emotional security, especially when they come from difficult or disrupted pasts.3. The Science Behind Co-Regulation
A little brain science! We dive into why our calm presence can have such a powerful effect on our children, helping them feel secure and connected.4. The Challenge of Staying Regulated
Kids, especially those whoâve experienced trauma, struggle to stay regulated. Here, we discuss why itâs so important for us to stay calm first, so they can feel our steady energy and co-regulate with us.5. Four Key Lessons from Parenting Teens
Over the years, Iâve learned four big lessons that help me show up for my teens and stay connected with them:
- Itâs Not About Me
- They Donât Need Me to Fix Things
- Avoiding Minimizing Their Experience
- Theyâre Learning Self-Regulation6. Practical Strategies for Co-Regulation
From sharing Spotify playlists to helping with chores, we cover everyday strategies for creating safe, connected moments with teens that allow them to co-regulate with us naturally.7. Common Challenges in Co-Regulation
Itâs not always easy, and thatâs okay! We discuss common roadblocks and how to extend grace to ourselves as we do our best, even when things get tough.8. Conclusion
A reminder that every small effort matters and that our work as adoptive parents to create a safe and supportive space truly makes a difference.
If todayâs episode resonates with you, Iâd love to offer a bit more support. Iâm currently offering a free consult call where we can talk about whatâs happening in your family and find ways to strengthen your parenting approach. Whether youâre facing specific challenges or just looking for extra guidance, letâs connect. Here's the link to schedule your free consult âjust click and pick a time that works best for you!https://calendly.com/wendyleejohnson/free-consult
Thank you for joining me today! Donât forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with other adoptive parents who might find it helpful. Weâre all in this together.
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We all want our kids to thrive, but what does that really mean?
Often in our culture, thriving is associated with excelling at sports, maintaining a high GPA, or maintaining friendships. But hereâs the kicker: thriving is so much more than just those quantifiable achievements. In fact, I believe thriving is more of a direction than a destination.
Many of our adopted kids come from challenging backgrounds. Maybe no one in their birth family graduated high school, or their birthparents struggle with issues like addiction or incarceration and these same issues keep showing up in our kiddoâs journeys. All of these challenges can cast a long shadow over what we perceive as thriving.
I this episode we cover what thriving really is and how this can change your relationship with your child.
I coach adoptive parents. If you would like some support, schedule a free consultation HERE
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Have you ever wanted to just survive a crisis without making it worse? As parents, when things get really tough we immediately experience some pretty intense emotions. Many times, itâs hard to stay present or even make sense out of whatâs happening in the moment. If you want to learn some truly incredible tools for tolerating distress during a crisis, then this episode is for you.
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What do you do when youâve gotten some bad news and you're feeling a bit undone? Youâre probably wanting to dial your feelings down a bit and just not feel so much. How about a quick vacation from disappointment and worry? Todayâs episode will give you 6 solid tips to help you stay grounded AND experience your emotions.
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A lot of parenting is spent living in paradox. What does that even mean? It means wanting your family to eat supper altogether, but feeling anxious that an argument will break out and make it unbearable. Or maybe you canât wait for your teen to come home from residential, but are terrified of whatâs going to happen to your family when they do. If youâd like some tips on how to approach living in paradox, then this episode is for you.
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Whether your child is just approaching adolescence or fully submerged in it, staying connected has never been more important. At the same time, our kids spend more and more time with their friends and seem to want to have nothing to do with us. Stay tuned to hear 10 tips to reconnect with your teen, so you donât drift apart.
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People are actually hardwired to want to do things on their own and be independent-minded, but often this doesnât serve us.
As a parent, it's normal to feel like you should be able to handle things pretty much on your own.
But the truth is, parenting is one of the most challenging tasks youâll undertake in this life â and seeking out assistance can be vital to your familyâs well-being. If you want to find out more about this superpower, then todayâs episode is for you.
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I hear parents speak of their worries related to their teens and many times they are founded in past events. Itâs like "parenting PTSD" of sorts. Parents are truly panicked about the past reoccurring and for good reason. Join me as we explore possible solutions to "parenting PTSD."
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What is our job, as parents? Is it to set the bar, and maybe even to set it high? Todayâs answer may surprise you. If you would like to find out whether you should set and raise the bar for your kids or you should ditch the bar altogether, then todayâs episode is for you.
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Watching your child grow up can be a bittersweet affair. On one hand, it's exciting to see them become more independent and responsible and truly begin to manage pieces of their lives. On the other hand, it means we are more removed from their decision-making and have less influence on their lives. So how do you know when it's time to let go and let your child become an adult?
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When the new year rolls around, a complete makeover is so tempting. Either that OR doing nothing sounds really good. Most folks are pretty polarized. Stay tuned to hear about a third option I like to call a "Plan B" mentality. If you want to hear how a fresh start could involve only 5 minutes a day, then this episode is for you.
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Parenting can be an incredibly rewarding experience, but it often comes with its own set of unique challenges. One of these is the battle against perfectionism; striving to achieve the ideal outcome in everything you do for your children. Itâs important to remember that this kind of thinking simply isnât helpful. If you want to find out how making mistakes and learning from them is an essential part of the parenting journey, then this episode is for you.
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When your teen shows up with an argumentative or belligerent attitude, you might feel yourself getting riled up. You don't want to debate things, but all of a sudden you are. I like to call this the hook. Some parents call it triggered. If you want to find out how to stop getting hooked in or triggered, then this episode is for you.
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As parents, we often feel like things are happening to us rather than for us. If you consider Joseph Campbell's description of the Heroâs Journey, you can begin to see yourself and your child as heroes rather than victims of circumstance, even while youâre experiencing setbacks and failures. Stay tuned to hear how your parenting journey could lead you into the belly of the beast and how to navigate back out.
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We talk a lot about the phases kids go through, but parents have phases too, especially when theyâre working to up-level and hone their parenting. If you would like to know more about these phases, including the rodeo phase, then this episode is for you.
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Todayâs episode is about that tender and worrisome time when your teen is deeply struggling and the outcome is unsure. Do you have a child thatâs addicted or coming out of rehab or a child that is struggling with self-harm or suicidal thoughts? If you want to experience more peace, then todayâs episode is for you.
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A strong spine or a soft heart? As a parent, Iâm guessing you probably identify with one more than the other. What if your parenting could be a better blend of both? Check out this episode if you want to find more balance in your approach with your teens.
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Most parents feel like their kids are making them crazy. Well, I have good news for you. If you want to know two simple steps that will have you feeling more relaxed and less worked-up, even in crisis, then todayâs episode is for you.
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Youâve probably heard that drugs are never really the problem. And if thatâs true, then what is the problem? Why is your child struggling or acting out? Maybe itâs time to ask. And what if you're part of the problem? In todayâs episode, Iâll address how to open up the conversation about whatâs causing their pain. Stay tuned to find out how to listen to what they have to say.
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