Episoder
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Folks, the world is always getting worse in new and terrifying ways. It seems every day wee open our eyes to some new kind of fresh hell. But there is one comforting, reliable constant that we can trust to ground us in these trying times; this show blows fucking chunks. As Energon slowly drags itself towards the finish line by making everyone Huge and Ugly, killing off characters at random, developing bizarre new running gags 4 episodes before the end, and just generally being a complete and total waste of time. The good news is that it's almost over. The bad news is theres still two more episodes to watch.
Noise Space | Discord
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With only eight episodes to go, Transformers Energon manages to slide three of the most annoying characters in franchise history right under the radar. Thankfully they die VERY quickly, but that didn't make their presence any less irritating. Transformers Energon isn't so much racing to a conclusion as it is meandering towards a stoppage. This week we ride the Omega Train, observe sitcom shenanigans from the Decepticons, wonder why these stupid combiners are even here when none of them have done anything, and marvel at Galvatron's quipping skills. Only two weeks left, but somehow the worst is yet to come!
Noise Space | Discord
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Mangler du episoder?
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After two glorious weeks away, your hosts are back to subject themselves to the inane nonsense of Transformers Energon, and this week it REALLY starts getting to them. Character arcs are being flattened in record time, episodes feel like a meandering fever dream, and something deeply concerning is going on with the Jones family. Even the utterly bizarre tournament episode jammed into the series can't drag the mood out of the gutter. The good news is there are only eight episodes of Energon remaining. The bad news is that there are somehow EIGHT EPISODES of Energon remaining. Help.
Noise Space | Discord
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Unicron explodes and there are still 14 episodes after that. Transformers Energon truly is the show that never ends, and this week it proves that it still has some terrible, nasty surprises for us. Ugly recolors, FOUR NEW CHARACTERS introduced with only a dozen episodes to go, Optimus Prime taking L after L, strange and garbled dialogue in both versions, Decepticon fart gas, and a Temu version of the final battle from Gurren Lagaan. Anyway, here's like a minute and a half of Optimus groaning and screaming, enjoy!
Noise Space | Discord
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For once we have a trio of episodes that are packed full of Things Happening, a rarity for Transformers Energon. Alpha Q fucking dies, Megatron gets head, Optimus sets himself on fire for no reason, Omega Supreme becomes Optimus' skinsuit, Shockblast becomes large, Shockblast dies badly, Optimus punches Ironhide in the face, everybody gets new colors, and Optimus becomes REALLY huge. Of course, just because things happened doesn't mean they weren't boring and stupid, but you can't win em all.
Noise Space | Discord
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Regardless of what version of the show one is watching, some pretty dramatic stuff happened last time. Which is why its incredible bizarre that the first of our two episodes today is mostly about a goofy race on a highway planet? We spend most of our time on that episode because frankly the other one we watched was duller than dirt. At least the race one has weird gags, car crashes, and Optimus acting like a complete fucking freak.
Noise Space | Discord
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While Audrey is off enjoying a birthday break from the drudgery of Transformers Energon, Nero is here to tell you about the lost episode of the show, and by 'lost' we mean 'they literally didn't dub this one for no discernible reason'. And that's pretty bad, because its a big episode for Scorponok, Ironhide, and Alpha Q, and its absence opens a minefield of plot holes that the dub never really bothers to fix.
Noise Space | Discord
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This week we wrap up yet another underwhelming and undercooked character arc, this time about Inferno's struggles with Decepticonification. The cast continues to balloon beyond their capacity to make any of the characters interesting or distinct, and that's when the dub can actually keep their names straight, but we sure to have a kooky old coot with hips that don't quit. The only morsel we have to hold on to during these dark times is the Scorponok and Alpha Q old man yaoi. Also, Audrey unleashes a powerful psychic attack on Nero by bringing up the ancient texts.
Noise Space | Discord
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This week a rift in space opened up and gave us a glimpse of another world; one where Transformers Energon had good, normal animation instead of the stiff and stunted style we have grown tragically used to. Why is it that the only time they break out the traditional animation is when a character is in extreme agony? Is it because that's how we feel given a glimpse of a better world? Why are we still getting flashbacks to fucking Padlock so long after his death? Why was there a fucking clip show that summarized the events of the episode immediately previous but talked about them as though years had passed? Will this torment ever end? Hopefully!
Noise Space | Discord
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After a few weeks of nothing happening, a few things actually happened in these episodes! Unicron gets his new gamer colors to sell his new toy to the kiddies, Shockblast develops Sudden Betrayal Syndrome, Optimus does some bits from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Unicron tears open a very large, very suggestive looking rip in space. Isn't it crazy that we aren't even halfway through this shit??
Noise Space | Discord
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(Wing Dagger picks up Padlock's head): Alas, poor Padlock! I knew him, Hot Shot: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath borne me on his alt mode a thousand times and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it. Here hangs that faceplate I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the cell block on a roar? Not one now, to mark your own dying badly? Quite chap-fallen. Now get thee to Primus' chamber and tell him, make a woman for the omnicons to become fixated on to make them mine better. Prithee, Hot Shot, tell me one thing?
Hot Shot: What's that?
Wing Dagger: Why is it that episode 23 is basically the same as episode 21?
Hot Shot: Well, we gotta fill 51 episodes with SOMETHING!
Noise Space | Discord
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You know, perhaps your esteemed hosts were a bit too hard on Kicker; his father is a scientist with seemingly no moral limits who gleefully endangered his child to get some shiny rocks, his surrogate robot father is a cold and callous commander willing to let one of his soldiers fly into the heart of enemy territory with no backup, his partner is kind of a credulous dumbass who always manages to get himself into situations, and his girlfriend is mean to him. I'd be kinda testy too if I was him. Oh also these episodes have a lot of Lore but who cares about that? We need to talk about Shockwave's shithead cousin!
Noise Space | Discord
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We aren't even halfway through this show and the wheels have already fallen off. Characters are getting shoved into new bodies left and right, we've completely left any meaningful setting behind in favor of space adventures, and the dub has gotten so bad its barely coherent and only vaguely follows the visuals that happen on screen. But theres good news! We still have over 30 episodes left! Wait that's not good news at all...
Noise Space | Discord
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After an extended break, we're back to wallow in the misery of Transformers Energon. Though these episodes have a little bit more going on than the others we've covered, make no mistake; it WILL get worse. We discuss Misha's dubious archeological knowledge, continue to add to Dr. Jones' rap sheet, celebrate that Alpha Q finally has a face that doesn't have the most annoying voice in the world, and lose our minds just a little bit more.
Noise Space | Discord
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We, the Podcasting Court, enter the following charges against Doctor Brian Jones into the record; wildly reckless child endangerment (two counts), cringe fatherly behavior (15 counts), sexual harassment of a Government official (1 count), uncreative naming convention for Cybertron Cities (5 counts), absolutely dogshit haircut (ongoing(. We also have reason to believe that he is somehow responsible for the english dub leaving out the main source of conflict in the first episode we covered this week, but we cannot properly prove it. As a result, we are sentencing Doctor Brian Jones to 5 months in Megatron's Torture Nexus.
Noise Space | Discord
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Heyyyy, Megatron is back! And he doesn't look terrible! Does that mean these episodes of Energon were good, or even tolerable? No! Hot Shot nearly gets killed and takes a bath, we learn some racist Omnicon lore, Alpha Q drags Starscream's ghost out to sell more toys and kill Optimus Prime, Kicker continues to kick people, and we investigate the Transformers Energon AO3 tag. Now then, heres your complimentary Megatron Sword for listening to this episode. We've got loads of these things so we're just giving them away.
Noise Space | Discord
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Energon marches on!! Hey, you remember Megatron's Iconic Sword right? He was using that thing aaaall the tiiiime in Armada! God, so many memories. The dub was mostly normal this week but something really bad happened to episode 3 and they removed all the drama and character from it. Demolishor remains the only brave soul attempting to have a character arc amidst a sea of static. Kicker fell in a hole. We don't really understand how there's so much of this show but we're going ahead anyways, regardless of the consequences!
Noise Space | Discord
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The next few months of this podcast are going to be challenging for your hosts, as they plunge headfirst in what is widely regarded as the worst Transformers TV show that wasn't on machinima.com. A dreadful dub, deeply annoying characters, hideous animation, and nonsense plotting are conspiring to drive us mad. Will they succeed? Well considering this is only the first episode of Transformers Energon and we're already losing our minds by the end of this podcast, things don't bode well. #NotMyIronhide #TheJerkerrrr
Noise Space | Discord
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Earthspark has done a lot to impress both of your hosts, listeners. A cast made up of almost entirely new characters with a heavy human focus somehow ended up capturing our hearts. This episode is mostly us gushing about how good the show is, talking about The Undisputed Best Character (Twitch), the great character design, and of course answering some viewer questions. But something lurks on the horizon, something tedious and ugly, to steal away our happy fuzzy feelings. It's Nero's turn to pick, and they have chosen violence.
Noise Space | Discord
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Well, it's here. The grand finale of Earthspark, a show that manages to continually impress and surprise us to the end. This two parter has everything you want out of a big finale; excellent action sequences, fantastic character moments, surprisingly gruesome deaths, surprisingly gruesomer designs, and lighting our darkest hour. Now its time for the long, tortuous wait for season 2.
Noise Space | Discord
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