Episoder
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Errrā¦.This one gets pretty heated. But weāre all still friends! We think. And Moynihan is now sober and his blood sugar is back to normal, so thereās that too. Either way, hats off to Batya for braving another episode with three people who disagree with her on pretty much everything. We talk Tariffs, Trump, lawfare, Ukraine, and everything in between.
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* The Hungarian dentist and the prostitute theory
* Your TV wife sees Hitler all the time, no?
* Facilitateā¦
* Dinners with politicians
* A digression on Big Star (FYI: "Holocaustā)
* Elder scams
* Apple Watches and proof of life
* Back to Rogan and Murray
* A trip to Libya for a copy of the Green Book
* #9 Fifth Dream
* Doing an impression of a smart person / Paul believes
* A theory ā¦
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Mangler du episoder?
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On May 11, 2020, as I was navigating personal collapse (āitās been a really shitty two months,ā I said on an interesting-to-listen-to-now Special Dispatch #20), my two daughters were wrestling unhappily with Zoom school, and all three of us lads were in the process of buying Covid cars, I came across a Wired article that landed like a Cher-style open-haā¦
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Moynihan is out with a ātooth thingā (which sounds lame, but is allegedly a āpainful,ā āvery seriousā dental emergency that definitely doesn't involve a tall, attractive blonde woman). Fortunately, our pal Jesse Singal (Blocked and Reported, Singal-Minded) is along for the ride, and outlines the plans for his heroic crusade to save THE REPUBLIC by beefing with JD Vance on X. We dive into Trump 2.0ās extra-constitutional improvisations, fail to steer clear of trade policy, and search desperately for a silver lining in our late-capitalist, national-populist, increasingly surrealist Idiocracy. Also in the mix: a little Elon drama, libertarian coping strategies, various flavors of executive branch lawlessness, and a surprising outbreak of informed optimism about the future.
* Tooth decay, high-end prostitutes, and podcast logistics
* Jesse Singal enters the chat (possibly still midāTwitter beef)
* Deportation by executive vibe
* Due process is for losers
* When JD Met Jesse: A Very Sexy Love Story (by Selena Montgomery)
* The most important internet slap-fight in American history
* Hotel El Salvador: now accepting unwanted Americans
* Bannonās āflood the zoneā plan meets sheer incompetence
* Shouting at Bill Hemmer
* Campus protests, free speech, and DHS interns with tasers
* Jesse accidentally agrees with libertarians?
* And can Jesse say one nice thing about JD Vance? (And, āThank youā!?)
* To the Moon, and Mars, and WHERE ELSE BEYOND
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Is this episode 500?? Well, not really. Likely a bit higher. There have been some numbering convention mixups over the years and weāve also recorded almost 300 paywalled episodes (yes, you should subscribe now, ya skinflints). But letās just pretend itās 500 and sayā¦happy 500th episode, Fifth Column!
* Waymo through skid row
* The dumb right
* Dead cats bounce
* They took brown doublewides from us
* Nixon, but in the open
* Where are the Dems?
* Besides magic
* The DEI trade off?
* The sweet meteor of death episode
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* Val, Tombstone, Top Secret
* Top Gun takes it to 11
* One the best Hollywood memoirs
* RIP Capucine
* African-American Monday
* Johnny Depp, musician
* OK TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE COLLAPSING ECONOMY
* Spartacus moment? Once they start flippingā¦
* āThey couldnāt believe it. Ben Shapiro, of all peopleā¦ā
* A Norwegian. A Daneā¦and a guy who *isnāt Finnish, Matt*
* On the best fight of ā¦
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* We bring back the great economist Scott Lincicome to separate MAGA myths from inconvenient facts on trade, trade imbalances, ChatGPT math, and getting āripped offā by our (former?) allies.
* Note: watch Kmele and Moynihan (and Gerald Posner) on the latest episode of the Moynihan Report
* Eliās new Liberation Day jam
* These tariffs are dumb
* Really, really dumb
* Ruinously dumb
* Laura Loomer is dumb
* Tom Sowell isnāt dumb
* MAGAās Iraq
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* Tomorrow on The Moynihan Report: Actor and former fat guy Ethan Suplee (American History X, Wolf of Wall Street, Mall Rats, Remember the Titans). You can watch live at 4pm ET here. Archived there too!
* Muslims and parking
* No turkeys in NYC
* Matt to the mothership
* Austin Fifdom
* Kmele and a Complete Unknown
* Our paranoid times
* No MAGA, no paranoia?
* When youāve loā¦
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* FYI: If you want to join the Zoom for March 27 episode of The Moynihan Report at 4pm ET, use this link
* The Legend of Gavin and Charlie
* Bob in Tulsa
* Moyn in Miami
* The bumbling Signal Boyz
* We hope our kids never lie like this
* Defund NPR
* Another 25% will save American industry
* Remember the minerals deal?
* The jury on whether we should execute the judiciary
* Car swastikas
* And much, much more!
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* Live tweeting history
* The importance of Jack
* The āclimate of hateā
* Some of these goofballs are normal
* RIP Manny
* The fake ceasefire
* If only were werenāt a democracyā¦
* Back to Gaza
* Civil liberties, due process, and magicians
* And a bunch moreā¦.
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* The golden age of Oaktownās 357 ("I just put Juicy, Got Him Crazy into Chat GPT to determine what it's about and it is definitely a song about...."
* Yes, we briefly talk about forgotten about rappers and their dumb lyrics
* Pumps and the Bump
* Grok has this to say about our Hammer convo: āThe casual acceptance of MC Hammerās Speedo situation is absurdly funny.ā
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* The one Jew she likes
* The amateur crank historian
* The cranks always end atā¦take a guess
* Kmele isnāt interested in Ms. Macronās dong
* Show we draw some distinctions?
* Congrats to the Buchananites
* The weirdness of Gavin Newsomās podcast
* On Bannon
* On Columbia, the first amendment, masks, and dangerous idiots
* The Ukraine non-deal
* And much, much more
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I was very moved by friend & past guest Jeff Bleharās Covid anniversary piece, so ā¦ I just read it out loud. And added related commentary for paying subscribers. Some links alluded to therein, in rough order of reference:
* Reason Roundtable Covid look-back
* Related Twitter thread
* āThe Great COVID Rupture: Three years after ā15 days to slow the spread,āā¦
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* A very long SOTU
* Al Green meets Buju Banton, Tripadvisor objects
* The most beautiful, terrifying word in the English language
* The ādeficitā you shouldnāt care about
* The forgotten Foxconn boondoggle
* The hopeless Democrats
* Maybe look at, say, Dean Phillips and ignore the Squad
* Asian finger cuffs
* Two cheers for parliamentary democracy
* Poor lilā Marco
* Who killed Gene Hackmanās dog?
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Thereās some discussion of parenting. A tiny bit about the Oscars. And a bunch about the triumph of conspiracy culture. But this is mostly a subscriber-only episode about the Zelensky debacle and the ongoing U.S. foreign policy realignment. So why bother with bullet points?ā
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* The traffickers of the Fifth Column
* The genius of Bill Belichick
* Those Boston boys arenāt so terrible after all
* Nick v. Stewart
* Democracy died in the light!
* The WaPo freakout
* The press pool freakout
* No one believes in anything, part 387
* The āEpstein filesā will contain nothing of interest
* A āRomanā salute that no one noticed
* MSNBC is apparently racist
* A live event in NYC!
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* RIP Roberta
* Whatās the āwoke right?ā No idea.
* MAGA Brooklyn
* Reform Party 2000!
* Nadia didnāt pay, soā¦
* But does it vindicate the collusion narrative?
* Eli Lakeās āFramed and Guiltyā
* The Great Negotiator
* The rise of AfDā¦and the end of Europe?
* Kmele and Kanye (āHeās a NAZI, Kmele, a NAZIā¦ā)
* Moynihanās memory
* Drinking with Team Uterus
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* Matt vs. the Gremlins
* He lasts about 20 minutes
* Subscribe to the pod so he can stay at normal hotels that donāt use Compuserve
* Two minutes of Kayne and the Yahud
* Everything is a lie
* Free speech king goes Russiagate
* Trumpās Ukraine disgrace
* Allies and Axis 2.0
* Here DOGEy DOGEy DOGEy
* Misunderstanding democracy
* The animals of Hamas
* Inhumanity makes one inarticulate
* š”š°š„
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