Episoder
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Today, Iâm excited to take you on a little journey through a concept that can change the way you think about motivation, intimacy, and even the everyday tasks we all have a love-hate relationship with. Weâre talking about responsive desire.
You might have heard the term in the context of intimacy and relationships, but I think that responsive desire is so much more than thatâitâs a way of understanding how we relate to everything from our goals to our daily routines. And hereâs the good news: just because you donât feel motivated at the start doesnât mean you wonât enjoy it once you get going!
In this episode, weâre unpacking responsive desire and how it differs from spontaneous desire, which is often portrayed as the ânormâ in our culture (thanks, TV and movies!). Real life is much more complex, and understanding this difference can be a game-changerânot just for your relationship, but for how you approach many areas of your life.
So, join me as we dive deep into why itâs perfectly okay to have a different kind of motivation that needs a little warm-up. Whether itâs starting a new habit, getting to the gym, or feeling connected in your relationship, responsive desire can show up in so many areas of lifeâand itâs completely normal.
Youâll learn:
Why tuning into responsive desire can help you achieve goals without waiting for the ârightâ motivation
Small shifts that make tasks feel easier and more enjoyable
How understanding responsive desire can transform your approach to motivation and intimacy
Why accepting responsive desire can lead to a more compassionate and flexible outlook on your goals and relationships
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Episode 75: Sex, Stress & Gratitude with Emily Nagoski
Episode 83: Sex Funnels
The Questions for Couples Journal
The Marriage Mindset Makeover
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Hey friends! Welcome to todayâs episode of The Marriage Life Coach Podcast. This one is for you if you've ever wondered, "What does a life coach actually do?" and how they can support you in your journey.
Iâm beyond thrilled to be joined by my wonderful friend and coaching colleague, Sade Curry, who wrote the most incredible explanation of life coaching back in 2020, and itâs stayed with me ever since. So, I finally thought, "Why not just bring her on the podcast to talk about it?"
Sade is not only a brilliant dating coach for divorced women, but also the host of the "Dating After Divorce" podcast. Her insights on how life coaching can guide you through challenging transitions, like divorce, are so profound. Sheâs certified in trauma coaching, feminist coaching, life, and relationship coaching, and we share a deep love for learning and continuing education (we even ended up taking some of the same courses!).
Today, weâll dive deep into what life coaching really looks like, share some behind-the-scenes stories, and help you understand how a coach can support you. Weâll chat about the expertise coaches bring to the table and why itâs a game-changer for anyone looking to grow, heal, or transform any area of their life.
Plus, weâll get personal and talk about some amazing moments from Sadeâs own coaching journeyâincluding how coaching helped her find love again after divorce. So grab a cup of tea, cozy up, and join us as we have this enlightening and fun conversation! Youâll hear all about:
Ways that a life coach helps you see things in a new way, opening up possibilities you may have never considered
Why life coaching isnât just advice-givingâitâs applying proven processes to get results
How finding love again after divorce is possible, with the right guidance and emotional healing
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Episode 152: The Most Valuable Thoughts For Your Marriage Mindset
Episode 96: Thought Work and The Self Coaching Model
Episode 39: Soul Centered Communication
Dating After Divorce with Sade Curry
Sade Curry on Instagram
Sade Curry on Facebook
The Questions for Couples Journal
The Marriage Mindset Makeover
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Todayâs episode is incredibly special, and Iâm so thrilled to share it with you.
In this episode, I welcome back a former client, the amazing Jules Clancy, who was a part of my Marriage MBA program during the first round back in 2020. Jules is a food scientist turned cookbook author and certified cooking coach, teaching people to make simple, healthy meals with her app, Stone Soup, and through her podcast, Joyful Eating.
She reached out to me recently with a beautiful update about her marriage, and her message truly felt like a rainbow after a storm.
Today, Jules reflects on her journey through my Marriage MBA program, where she chose to focus on herself rather than traditional marriage counseling. She shares how doing this inner work changed her marriage profoundly, creating a relationship sheâs proud of today.
Jules also talks about how learning to be on the same team as her husband strengthened not only their marriage but their family life as a whole, especially in their parenting.
Just a few takeaways from our conversation include:
How six months of coaching led to lasting changes that continue to benefit Jules's marriage years later
Why regularly scheduled time with your honey is essential for keeping the connection strong
The power of accepting your partner as they are and letting go of judgment
My hope with this episode is that youâll feel really inspired and equipped with tangible tools to start creating positive change in your own relationship. Remember, itâs possible to have what you want in your marriageâyou just need the right tools, mindset, and support.
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
The Stone Soup 3 ingredient meals platform
The Joyful Eating Podcast
Connect with Jules on Instagram
The Questions for Couples Journal
Private Coaching with Maggie Reyes
The Marriage Mindset Makeover
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I was so tickled to be joined in this episode by Adrienne Dorison, an expert in operational efficiency, and co-founder of "Run Like Clockwork" with best selling author Mike Michalowicz.
Adrienne has helped countless small business owners find ways to step back from their businesses while allowing them to continue thriving.
Iâm so excited about this conversation, because we focused on applying business efficiency principles, specifically "clockworking," to marriage and relationships. And you know I love marriage hacking!
Together, we explore the "Four Tâs" that Adrienne teaches as a guide to optimize time AND energy in both business and relationships.
We are talking about the importance of rethinking roles and tasks in relationships, and how that can create more freedom, joy, and efficiency.
As you listen, I encourage you to evaluate your own relationships and responsibilities and consider how a new perspective (along with the four Ts) can lead to healthier dynamics for you and the people you care about â whether thatâs in your business, at your office, or especially with your honey.
Listen and learn more about:
What each of the four Ts are and how they help you evaluate, delegate, or eliminate whatâs no longer serving you
The impact of prioritizing activities that add real value to your life and relationship
How to practice more open communication for deeper emotional connection
Why rethinking relationship expectations can create a better fit for you and/or your partner
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Episode 32: Coaching, Therapy, and Emotional Leadership with Lacey Sites
Episode 77: Easy vs Hard with Lacey Sites
Run Like Clockwork website
Connect with Adrienne on Instagram
The Questions for Couples Journal
Private Coaching with Maggie Reyes
The Marriage Mindset Makeover
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If thereâs something in your life that you want and donât currently have, this episode is for you. I am excited to share some ideas about how to think about goals differently.
Recently, I started working towards a goal of my own thatâs felt pretty elusive, honestly.
During this process, I noticed I had the thought, âThis is just as likely as going to Mars.â Which made me feel really defeated.
To feel like one of our goals is impossible just leaves us feeling like thereâs nowhere left to go.
But the next morning, I woke up and thought,
âOkay. If NASA was going to Mars, how would they do it? What would their actual step-by-step process be to getting to Mars?â
And of course I came up with a few ideas, like desire, budget, plan. And that led me to wondering what that would look like for me and my goal, if I distilled this big process down to the main things I would need to doâŠ
And thatâs what I want to share with you today.
So think about something YOU want, thatâs yours and yours alone (meaning, something you have control over to a certain degree) and letâs get ready to apply these four principles to what you want to accomplish.
Listen and learn more about:
How to be very clear about what you want
The power of committing more to the process than the outcome
Dispelling the idea that you have to accomplish your goals alone
Why you should also think about whatâs in the way of your goals
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Episode 96: Thought Work and The Self Coaching Model
Episode 62: Curiosity, Coaching, and Using Your Superpowers In Your Marriage with Lindsay Dotzlaf
Episode 39: Soul Centered Communication
Episode 76: Trauma, Resourcing, and Windows of Tolerance with Shelby Leigh
The Questions for Couples Journal
Private Coaching with Maggie Reyes
The Marriage Mindset Makeover
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On this special episode of The Marriage Life Coach Podcast, Iâm sharing a rich, deep conversation I had with fellow coach Melissa Parsons on her podcast, Your Favorite You. This collaboration with my dear friend was so impactful that I asked permission to also share it with my audience, so thatâs what youâll be hearing today.
Itâs a sensitive topic, the urge to control. Mostly that urge comes from a desire to feel safe. Overworking, taking over responsibility â my hypothesis is that it all comes from a quest for safety. We think if we establish control, we can be more safe and feel better.
But really, more often than not, that control leads to resentment, overworking, and burnout, which is exactly what Melissa and I unpack in this episode.
As much as we might try to control others, we can only truly control ourselves. So what if we harness the power of influence, instead? How could we use our influence in a kinder, more compassionate way to get more of what we want without causing the harm that control does?
What youâll learn in this episode:
- Recognize the difference between trying to control others and positively influencing them. True influence comes from connection and understanding, not from imposing your will.
- Authenticity is key in relationships. Itâs important to be honest about your feelings and experiences, even when itâs difficult.
- Life is full of dualities, and it's important to hold space for seemingly contradictory truths. For example, you can be strong and still need support, or you can be independent while deeply valuing connection.
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Episode 29: Releasing the Need to be Right with Dr. Melissa Parsons
Episode 99: The Power of Going First with Melissa Parsons
Your Favorite You Episode 98: Influence vs Control with Maggie Reyes
The Questions for Couples Journal
The Marriage Mindset Makeover
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On this episode of The Marriage Life Coach Podcast, Iâm delighted to be joined by a graduate of my Marriage MBA program, Sae Mickelson.
Sae is a Chinese medicine practitioner and acupuncturist who spends much of her time with clients through a lens of discovery and growth. In her many years doing this work, sheâs observed the connection between balance and wellness. And in her time in the Marriage MBA, she was able to draw the same connection more deeply by applying it to her relationship.
Balance and wellness are terms we all tend to have our own definition of, and I think youâll love hearing Saeâs perspective of these concepts and others she shared. Her wealth of wisdom from her medicinal background and willingness to be open about her experience of the Marriage MBA were just a breath of fresh air!
Listen in to our conversation to hear more from Saeâs heart about:
How to zoom out and take the long view of life and relationships
The power of asking âWhatâs my next small choice?â
Western cultureâs impact on our relationships
Creating awareness of your natural cycles
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On this episode of The Marriage Life Coach Podcast, Iâm joined by client Maya LeaJames.
Maya is a parent coach who helps moms become more conscious in their relationships with their kids. Maya and I just spent six months together in my last group coaching cohort. I am truly delighted to have her on the show to share some of her favorite takeaways and what concepts she found highly valuable and impactful on her own marriage.
In this episode we share principles from my teaching and coaching philosophy that you can apply to help any relationship, whether itâs marriage or parenting or friendships.
Check out this episode to hear more about:
- Marriage Relationship Tools like closed-loop communication and assuming positive intent that can you can learn today and apply tomorrow - they are that simple and yet deeply impactful
- How thinking of relationships as collaborative impacts the way you show up every day
- How to get off relationship autopilot and bring more intention to your day to day choices as a wife
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Episode 58: The Power of One
The Questions for Couples Journal
The Marriage Mindset Makeover
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On this episode of The Marriage Life Coach Podcast, Iâm joined by my guest Jewel Hohman, whoâs literally an expert in helping adults learn how to make friends. Jewel is a return guest, and I feel so much joy whenever I get to speak with her. I particularly love her extensive knowledge about something every adult has struggled with at some point: making friends!
Did you know thereâs an actual science to making friends? You could call Jewel a friendship scientist of sorts. Pulling from her masterâs in social work as well as her coach training, she has studied the science of friendship to a degree that just delights me.
I think youâll appreciate the insight she shared on the research around our current loneliness epidemic and the jaw-dropping facts about our society at large â like 1 in 5 millennials reporting that they had no close friends. Take a deep breath with that one. I did.
We end up relying so much on our partners for deep emotional support, when really, cultivating meaningful friendships in addition to our partnerships can help all of our relationships become stronger.
Listen in and learn more about:
The science of friendship
3 things every thriving relationship has in common
How to create meaningful relationships
Being a good friend to yourself
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Episode 124: Cultivating Intentional Relationships with Jewel Hohman
Episode 54: Self Love
Socially Delightful: Telling My BFFs How I Used Friendship Science to Make Them My Friends
Jewelâs website
Jewelâs podcast, Socially Delightful
The Questions for Couples Journal
The Marriage Mindset Makeover
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This is a different episode than Iâve done before. With my amazing clientâs permission, I break down the major elements of our 6 months of work together, and how sheâs going to keep our work alive after we part ways.
One of the main reasons people seek out coaching is because they want something to change, whether it's behavior, habits, or perspective. And when you have a coach, you have some built-in accountability to act on making those changes happen.
But what happens when our time together ends? My clients receive the tools to move forward and keep creating what they want to see in her life without me. With this particular client, we spent our final session going over all the changes she wanted to implement as a result of what she learned about herself and her relationship in coaching.
Thatâs what I shared in todayâs podcast episode, in hopes that youâll find some ideas and inspiration behind the scenes of a private coaching session.
Listen in and find out:
How to define what really matters to you
The impact of support and where to find it
Effective ways to make your goals your new normal
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Episode 96: Thought Work and The Self Coaching Model
Episode 94: Notice Your Lenses
Private Coaching with Maggie
The Marriage Mindset Makeover
The Questions for Couples Journal
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Bridgerton is so special to me. I read all the books when they were written twenty years ago. I was reading On the Way to the Wedding, the last book in the series, on the weekend that my husband proposed in Costa Rica. So these characters and stories mean a lot to me!
I used to read the books and think why isnât anyone making a movie out of this? So when the show was announced, it was a fangirl dream come true. When the newest season was announced, I declared it my own holiday of Bridgerton Day. Yes I put it on the calendar and everything! I even asked my husband to stay home from work and watch with me. At the end of episode 4, I cried. I too was a late bloomer and it just hit me right in the feels.
Once I finished watching season 3, I knew I wanted to make an episode to share some of my favorite observations, applied to marriage and relationships.
And no you donât have to love Bridgerton as much as I do to get something useful from this episode, but if you have never seen the show and have no interest in it, skip this one. I mention spoilers and character situations very specifically that might not be as much fun if you donât know who and what I am talking about.
I ended up with 10 concepts to share with you in this episode that I believe will land with you no matter where you are in your relationship currently. I also make a big announcement on this episode so you are definitely going to want to check that out, especially if you have been waiting for me to open up private coaching spots.
If you have seen the show and find it fun, this episode is for you! Enjoy!
Listen in and hear more about:
Giving yourself permission to love what you love
Asking for what you want
Understanding what you need to thrive
Why consent is so sexy
The right way to wear rose-colored glasses
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Episode 62: Curiosity, Coaching, and Using Your Superpowers In Your Marriage with Lindsay Dotzlaf The Questions for Couples Journal Private Coaching with Maggie The Marriage Mindset Makeover -
On this episode of The Marriage Life Coach Podcast, I am joined by the wonderful Brig Johnson, one of my favorite humans on the whole planet. She is a master certified life coach who helps high-achieving women become un-fuck-withable. Her philosophy is that the more we can connect with and accept ourselves, the more we can connect with and accept others.
Brig is someone who leads with compassion, wisdom, love, and science and I love her for it.
Our conversation today delves into ambivalence in our marriage or relationship. We all have different seasons of life where weâll have to deal with ambivalence, and knowing how to approach it effectively is such a skill! How do we really feel about this issue? Our feelings can be so mixed or even contradictory⊠How do we know which thread to follow?
Brig is here to help us with that today.
Sheâs sharing her deep wisdom and understanding about how to trust yourself, and the things that get in the way of feeling safe in our relationships. Most importantly, Brig is teaching us how to approach getting out of ambivalence and âgoing all inâ with love and acceptance for ourselves and our partner.
Itâs SO good. Give our discussion a listen and check out the resources linked below to get the most out of this episode.
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In this episode of The Marriage Life Coach Podcast, Iâm joined by Tara Simkins, a life coach who helps people get through tough times to create meaningful lives. Our aim is to better understand perimenopause/menopause, especially how it affects our lives and naturally, our relationships.
But before we dive in, I want you to know you do not need to be going through menopause for everything we talk about today to apply to you!
This episode will prepare you to be confident if/when you enter that chapter of your life, or whether you just use one of the takeaways right now to help you with whatever's feeling challenging in your relationship.
Just for clarity, perimenopause is a physiological and psychological shift in a woman's experience as they go towards menopause that can start as early as your late thirties. And on a societal level, almost NO ONE is talking about it and how it affects our lives and relationships.
Weâre changing that today!
Join us for this episode to hear more about:
- Why women may feel shame around personal health
- The stress perimenopause can put on relationships
- How to understand what your needs are and communicate them to your partner
- The importance of talking and learning more about perimenopause
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Something miraculous happened to me recently and I knew that what I learned from it would help you have a stronger, better, more amazing relationship.
Physical therapy.
Okay, so maybe it wasnât an actual miracle, and itâs not immediately obvious how my attending physical therapy is going to help your marriage, but stick with me! I promise it makes sense.
In this episode, Iâll share 6 lessons that I believe can help you have a better relationship right now. There are so many parallels I draw between my experience with physical therapy and some of the most common experiences with relationship struggles.
There was pain. There was fear. There was the whole âIâm used to itâ when it came to this particular problem (a clicky, painful knee, in my case). There were tons of completely reasonable-sounding excuses for why I didnât need help, and why I didnât try reaching out sooner.
Sound familiar?
I told you it would all make sense. Ready to hear how you can take this analogy and apply it to your marriage starting today?
Listen in and hear more about:
- Why itâs so important to stop waiting and take the big step forward
- How progress doesnât always LOOK like progress
- What it means to believe things can be different
Find full show notes and links to resources at: http://maggiereyes.com/podcast/160
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Did you ever wonder how feminist dating principles could make your marriage stronger? In this episode of The Marriage Life Coach Podcast, youâre going to find out.
I was joined by Lily Womble, my favorite dating coach and founder of Date Brazen, a coaching framework thatâs helped hundreds of women around the world build a clear path to the best relationships of their lives with unconventional, feminist-led coaching. I got a sneak peek of Lilyâs upcoming book, âThank You, More Pleaseâ which will be released in June. We talked all about the concepts she explores inside and how it serves as a feminist guide to breaking dumb dating rules.
You know I could talk about navigating the patriarchy all day, so this was a super fun conversation and youâre going to love Lilyâs insights.
Just a few things we talked about included:
- How women are taught to people-please and caregive in order to survive
- What internalized patriarchy is and how it affects your relationships
- Why I believe dating doesnât end just because youâre married
- How to recast your spouse in a role that you both value
- My take on why it feels like women have to do âallâ the emotional labor
You donât settle in any other area of your life, so letâs not start with your most important relationship. This episode will give you the tools to envision and create a partnership you want to be in.
Find full show notes, transcript, and links to resources at http://maggiereyes.com/podcast/159
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Recently I was asked about the curriculum inside The Marriage MBA, and it occurred to me that I had never put together a shareable version of that information! BUT, I knew I had done a whole podcast episode about it.
So thatâs what youâll be hearing today: a re-airing of episode 100 of The Marriage Life Coach podcast, where I was joined by Emily Feairs, a MMBA alum. Emily is one of my favorite humans and in a turning of the tables, she is going to interview me about all things MMBA.
Everything I teach on the podcast and in the Marriage MBA is designed to bring you toward collaboration and rapport, where you can often get so much more of what you want and reignite the love that brought you together in the first place.
If youâre thinking about how to do and think differently and handle the issues in your marriage in a more productive way, itâs my highest intention that this episode will serve as both an eye-opener and an imagination-expander.
Listen in and hear more about:
- How and why I became a marriage coach
- Why the Marriage MBA curriculum is not linear
- How this program differs from couples counseling
- Emilyâs and my favorite tools from the program
Find full show notes and links to resources at: https://maggiereyes.com/podcast/158
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Iâm really super excited for you to hear the FUN we had in this episode of The Marriage Life Coach Podcast!
Itâs a candid conversation with 3 of my coaching friends on how coaching has impacted our lives. Just like superheroes, we share our origins stories of how we discovered coaching in the first place, and the impact that being coached has had for us in SO many different areas of our lives.
Youâll hear from Priyanka Venugopal, an OBGYN-turned-coach for high-achieving professional moms who want to lose weight; Dielle Charon, a 7-figure sales coach for women of color who want to achieve financial freedom; and Danielle Savory, a sex and pleasure coach for women.
And of course, yours truly â I help Type A women have better marriages without waiting for their partners to change.
Listen in as we share behind-the-scenes stories and powerful reflections on a variety of topics from how we break glass ceilings, to making new friends, to the time I avoided a huge argument with my boss (back when I worked in HR) by changing how I replied to one simple email.
And of course, it just wouldnât be my podcast if I didnât share the impact of Oprah on my coaching life, because as you know if youâve been here a while: all roads lead to Oprah.
Find full show notes, and links to resources at http://maggiereyes.com/podcast/157
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This episode of The Marriage Life Coach podcast is a special edition, it was originally recorded for The Joyful Practice for Women Lawyers with Paula Price.
Paula is a life coach for lawyers, and I worked in a law firm for almost ten years before I was a life coach. We had so much fun making legal analogies and talking about how to have relationships that feel good MOST of the time â because thatâs really what five-star thriving is all about.
We hit on so many interesting concepts in our conversation that I knew this episode would really help you, too. So Iâm releasing it here to make sure you can access the perspectives and teachings I shared for creating your own five-star relationship.
Listen to hear more about:
How perfectionism impacts your relationships
The role of self-care in your marriage
Why appreciation and gratitude are so important
The foundational theory that ALL my work is based on
If youâre a woman in a relationship with a partner you love, but you feel frustrated more often than you feel delighted (I know you, I see you), then youâre going to get SO much out of our conversation.
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
The Joyful Practice for Women Lawyers
The Questions for Couples Journal
Enroll in The Marriage MBA Today
The Marriage Mindset Makeover
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What happens when weâre not connected with our body? How does listening to our body help us have a better marriage? With help from my special guest, Iâll answer these questions as well as dive deeper into methods of getting in better touch with our bodies, our intuition, and ourselves.
I got the chance to sit down with Celia Cain PhD, international mindset coach, healer, and mentor who teaches people recovering from trauma how to heal themselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Celia has helped me understand an entirely new way of listening to my body. As a self-professed nerd (iykyk), I lived in my head for many years, and creating a relationship with my body has helped me in many ways. Understanding cues from your body is a highly effective way to be in touch with your intuition, which, if youâre like me, balances out the energy and time you spend in your head.
As Celia said, âWe have a tendency as a culture to see it as intellect or intuition â you donât get to have both.â
This conversation makes space for both intellect AND intuition. Through understanding both, youâll be able to create the marriage you truly want.
Find full show notes, and links to resources at http://maggiereyes.com/podcast/155
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This is one of my favorite episodes of the podcast. I know, I know, I say that about every episode, but Iâm saying it again and canât wait for you to dig in.
I got to chat with Kimberly Mathis, therapist-turned-life coach, who helps people change what feels unchangeable. Despite not being a relationship coach, Kimberly gets many clients whose unchangeable circumstances often center on difficult relationships of all kinds.
Imagine that.
Kimberly also has the distinction of completing two rounds of The Marriage MBA. Considering her program experience, therapist background, and life coaching expertise, Iâm delighted she was willing to share her wealth of knowledge.
We got to talk in-depth about what she learned in The Marriage MBA about herself and her relationships, and how in turn she can help her clients create happier relationships in their lives.
And, we shared three secrets to a happy relationship that you can take and apply to your relationships starting today!
Join us for this amazing conversation and find out:
- How to move from feeling helpless to feeling more in control
- Tiny, simple tweaks that make huge changes for the better
- The impact of showing up as your authentic self in any relationship
- Three secrets to a happy relationship of any kind
Find full show notes, and links to resources at http://maggiereyes.com/podcast/154
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