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Click below for links to my books on Amazon
Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life
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Mangler du episoder?
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Click below for links to my books on Amazon
Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life
https://tinyurl.com/4jvjjrvj
Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist
https://tinyurl.com/343536ah
Click below to go to Mental Health Radio News Network
https://tinyurl.com/44arsdft
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Running a fever is a sign that we are fighting an infection. Your temperature rises; you are very hot. Your sweat glands activate and you cool down. Your fever has broken and you are in the process of healing.
The high level narcissist's avarice has no boundaries, no controlling force.
The lust for money and power in the high level narcisist is a fever, a sickness, a perverse uncontained pursuit.
Avarice is the singular preoccupation for many high level narcissists.
It isn't knowledge, wisdom, insight or inner peace they are seeking. It is knowing that they have achieved their greatest goal---wealth and material largesse.
In this obsessive pursuit the high level narcissist doesn't stop victimizing others, disrupting their lives, leaving them without monetary means, causing etreme duress, anxiety and worry.
Studying and researching the high level narcissist provides you with the insight to recognize and successfully deal with these money vultures.
Study their character traits and patterns of behavior and thinking. Learn to dis-entangle yourself from the avarice fevered high level narcissist. Practice self care each day, Exercise your intuitive gifts. Honor your wisdom and fine character.
Click below for links to my books on Amazon
Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life
https://tinyurl.com/4jvjjrvj
Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist
https://tinyurl.com/343536ah
Click below to go to Mental Health Radio News Network
https://tinyurl.com/44arsdft
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From the time he/she was very young, the budding narcissist was convinced that he was brilliant, talented, master of social graces, resourceful, socially gifted at magnetizing people to him/her. Often the golden child, these individuals are exceedingly self entitled, overflowing with hubris.
They are convinced that they are perfect---superior to others in every respect. They don't develop a conscience and blame their dirty deeds on siblings, friends, family members, acquaintances, rivals, enemies.
High levels are "climbers", determined to reach the highest summits of monetary and professional largesse, to ingratiate themselves to the most moneyed power brokers and social movers and shakers.
They get their lietenants to do the dirty work. They come out of their misadventures without blemish or murmur. They cheat, steal, lie threaten, collude, betray, scheme---and never get caught.
Many fear that lying will bring down holy thunder and lightening. Not the high level narcissist.They take pleasure in mendacity---this is a familiar game to them.
Learn to recognize these vipers quickly.
Take your own pathway, that of the just, discerning, empathic. Your intellect is keen; your character is fine, your creative talents are many. You shine forth and chart your own course. The winds are at your back now. You see and feel the beauty and majesty of the blue waters of healing, restoration, transformation and creativity.
Click below for links to my books on Amazon
Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life
https://tinyurl.com/4jvjjrvj
Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist
https://tinyurl.com/343536ah
Click below to go to Mental Health Radio News Network
https://tinyurl.com/44arsdft
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Grandiose, filled with hubris, extreme self adulation, the high level narcissist creates a series of personas that feed his/her delusons of ultimate power and perfection
Propeled by a lack of conscience, the high level narcissist sails past those who stand in his/her way to achieve master and control.
The high level has perfected the creation of a series of false seleves that showcase his/her perfection and omnipotence.
The high level possesses a dark venal shadow that ejects psychological venom on all those at hand.
This narcissist is a masterful fabricator of lies. He/she is persuasive and self rightous with their lies.
High level narcissists are thieves of your creative concepts, books, inventions. Their intentioin is to take your original material for themselves, monetize it and even discard you.
You are a truth seeker and have discovered the true nature of the high level narcissist. Listen to the wisdom of your intuition combined with your study of this personality disorder.
Put your attention on self care and self regard. Move forward with your many creative gifts and fine character as you rediscover your true, authentic, original self.
My books Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life and Healing and Recovering After the Narcissist are available on Amazon.
Click the link below for the Mental Health News Radion Network, a Global Network of Shows by Podcasters on every facet of Mental Health:
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Classic narcissists, larger than life, bombastic, charismatic to some, sail through their days in the fast lane---always moving to their next cascade of narcissistic supply. If they are very successful they have more opportunities to be adored, praised and rewarded handsomely in this current world of rampant pathological narcissism. Those at the top of their games don't do the hardest work. They have adoring followers, psychologically dependent individuals, hangers on, at their beck and call.
If you have narcissists in your family, you are too keenly aware of how they demean you and/or ignore you or bith. If you are having a difficult time, they completely ignore what you are saying or they wonder what is the matter with you that you have caused such trouble for yourself.
Narcissists are peripatetic---They always have their engines running. They go from one project to the next, one trip to the next, one aquisition to the next, one full makeover to the next, one partner to the next, etc.
They get a kick out of running circles around you. They don't care about you one whit. They jauntily move along to constantly brag about themselves.
On some occasions the narcissist wonders out loud about what is wrong with you that you can't overcome your problems. After all, they did!
At a point of awakening you recognize that you are an adult in the process of healing and restoration from the classic high level narcissist.
You are entitled to practice self care each day. Rest, sleep, self love, Nature in all of its beauty, the gift of music. Do the work of healing every day. You deserve deep inner peace and the fulfillment of your many unique creative gifts.
Click the link below for my books on Amazon:
https://tinyurl.com/46befxue
Click the link below for the Mental Health News Radion Network, a Global Network of Shows by Podcasters on every facet of Mental Health:
www.mhnrnetwork.com
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Empaths are highly perceptive, exquisitely sensitive individuals. They are finely attuned to their external and internal environments. They feel deeply and are often misunderstood by spouses, family members and the world at large. Empaths who are married or partnered with high level narcissists have a particularly difficult time.
Many of you grew up as children of narcissistic parents. Demands and reprimands were daily occurrences. Narcissistic mothers and fathers gave you the message that you didn't and couldn't measure up to their expectations. You felt irredeemably flawed. For making great efforts to obtain any attention, warmth, attachment, acceptance didn't work. You were looked upon with scorn even disgust.
Married to a high level narcissist you are at the mercy of their recriminations, criticisms, projections.
There is a time of awakening when you can no longer tolerate being controlled by the high level narcissist.
You can now move forward with self care: sleep and rest, movement and exercise, nourishing food, good hydration, Nature, developing your spiritual practice as you understand it, rediscovering your unique creativity, the fulfillment of your authentic, creative, true self.
Click the link below for my books on Amazon:
https://tinyurl.com/46befxue
Click the link below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, a global network of Shows by Podcasters encompassing every facet of Mental Health:
www.mhnrnetwork.com
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Shame is a dreadful, intolerable feeling, a visceral reaction that goes deep inside of us. Often, children carry their shame into adulthood, especially if they are raised by narcissistic parents. When we feel ashamed we want to disappear and hide where no one can find us.
The narcissistic parent expects perfection from his child. A child learns how to feel about himself/herelf through the loving attachment of the parent---the empathy, affection, acceptance of the son or daughter as a unique human being.
The child with the highly dysfunctional narcissistic parent is never permitted to be his/her authentic self---that wonderful spontaneous, creative, joyful individual that is expressing the real self. Instead, the narcissist projects shame onto his/her small child from the beginning--telling them that they are always wrong, stupid, unworthy, worthless.
Children raised in this psychological environment of being demeaned and humiliated feel deep shame inside themselves.
I have spoken to and heard from many of you who are in the process of healing the shame that has bound you and are on the road to rediscovering your true self and leading the life that you deserve. Remember to put the emphasis on taking very good care of yourself. Rest, Sleep, Eat Nourishing Food, Hydrate Well, Gentle yoga poses, Stretching, Beautiful Music listening, Time with Nature.
Click the link below for my books on Amazon:
https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam
Click the link below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, a global network of Shows by Podcasters covering every facet of Mental Health:
www.mhnrnetwork.com
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"The narcissist is at all times a deceiver, never straight, clear or true. He/she has mastered the ability to delude himself and others. Like a socerer, he hatches intricate plots in secret..." (From: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life, Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., LMFT).
For many years you played your role of partner and spouse to the high level narcissist, knowing that he/she was psychologically toxic. You are exhausted at all times. You have chronic insomnia and can't sleep at night. You get up in the morning and drag yourself through the day.
You are now full circle and heavy with exceptional exhaustion. In the past you jacked yourself up with coffee, plunged into exercise, distracted yourself with fantasies and long held wishes. The mental tricks have worn thin; they don't work anymore.
Remind yourself that you are genuine; you are not deluded. You are highly empathic and care deeply about the feelings of others - family members, friends.
Let the narcissistic world twirl by at ever increasing speeds as it goes nowhere.
Give yourself credit for being a true individual who is growing and evolving. Know that this is a process that takes time and effort and that you are moving toward developing a stronger, expanded true self.
Follow your unique path and pace. Practice self care - Rest, Sleep, Movement/Exercise, Nourishing Food, Listening to Calming Music, Spend time with Nature, the great healer.
Click the link for my books on Amazon: https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam
Click the link for the Mental Health News Radio Network, a global network of Shows by Podcasters on every facet of Mental Health: www.mhnrnetwork.com
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Each narcissist is unique in his or her inimitable way. We learn a great deal about a person by the way he/she communicates.
With Narcissists there are several styles that stand out. The first is the Screamer. This man or woman always has the volume dial turned up to the max, especially when under stress or frustration which is frequent. There is no modulation in sound intensity whether the narcissist is in public or private.
Screaming is the most direct route to getting his or her needs and desires met immediately. Although many narcissists are obsessed about their image and would not make a public scene, the Screamer projects his feelings, threats and intimidations without a filter. If he doesn't get the right table at a restaurant, best theater seat, quickest appointment, he/she screams---wild eyed, face flushed, mouth gaping. He attracts a lot of attention as he communicates: "I want what I want when I want it." Surprisingly, those involved in the ugly interchangge with narcissistic screamers, respond to their requests readily to restore peace and civility.
Narcissistic Screamers do not apologize nor are they embarrassed by their inappropriate behaviors. For them, it is only what they want and are getting all that matters. After all, they deserve it; they are superior and entitled. The sheer volume and intimidation projected by the enraged narcissist is enough to make most people cringe and go to their protective corners and acquiesce to the narcissist's delusional demands.
The Passive Aggressive narcissistic communication style is notable for its seesaw quality. These narcissists are sullen and can go for weeks without speaking a word if they have been crossed or confronted. They are masters of the "silent treatment." This type of narcissist is gifted at "quietly seething." Everyone in the household is unnerved and disrupted by this behavior but it is difficult to confront and deal with since the narcissist has become and will remain mute until he decides to end his strike. These narcisssists often play the victim role, insisting that no one appreciates or understands their problems.
Covert Operators lead secret lives, cleverly compartmentalizing one from the others. (From Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life) "The narcissist puts his life in neat compartments that are sealed off from one another. He (or she) is able to activate self-identifications of vitality, superiority, success and power. These are kept separate from the unconscious parts of himself that feel depressed, enraged, empty and helpless..."
Your keen powers of observation and discernment reveal the true nature of the narcissist including their communication styles.
You are moving forward, rediscovering your truth, authentic self. Take time for deserved self care each day: get the rest and sleep that you need and deserve, nourishing healthy food, good hydration, movement and exercise thats best for you, restorative beautiful music, exploring your unique creative gifts.
Click the link below for my books on Amazon:
https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam
Click the link below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, a global network of Shows by Podcasters encompassing every facet of Mental Health:
www.mhnrnetwork.com
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High level narcissists are highly secretive. They often compentalize their private lives. They are never concerned about deceiving partners since they don't have a fully developed conscience.
High levels are often obsessed with acquiring money. But narcissists don't share. Many of them have hidden cash and bank accounts that are cleverly concealed from their partners and spouses. The spouse does not suspect this venal level of duplicity. One scenario preceding a divorce is that the narcissistic spouse will take control of most of the money and financial assets and hidden them through complex financial instruments or by making"arrangements" with a business partner or some other back door means. After the divorce papers are served and the opening rounds begin, the narcissist claims that he or she has no money or assets or investments of any kind.
As the they cheat and steal from you, high level narcissists are highly suspicious even paranoid that they are being taken advantage of by their spouse. They rage that the partner has "stolen" what is theirs. Narcissistic personalities are psychological ly delusional. They manufacture their own reality. They detest the truth, especially when it is pointed out to them. It enrages the narcisssist and activates his/her volcanic rage.
A time comes when you put enough of the puzzle pieces together to know that you are being deceived and can no longer overlook, rationalize or tolerate the insidious lies, the recriminations, the primitive wounding projections.
You say "no more!" You do careful research, interview attorneys, obtain the tools that you need to move through the divorce process.
You have persevered. I give you tremendous credit to those who go through this "marathon" with courage, grace, fortitude, focus, stamina and fine character!
Click the link below for my books on Amazon:
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Click the link below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, A Global Network of Shows by Podcasters that encompasses every facet of Mental Health:
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The Shadow is that part of us that rises from the unconscious. It is mysterious and unique to each individual. Carl Jung describes it this way: "The Shadow personifies everything that the subject (person) refuses to acknowledge about himself."
"Those who have no conscious acquaintance with their shadow, project forgotten, forbidden disowned parts of themselves onto others in destructive ways." (From: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist, Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., LMFT)
There are many examples of individuals who have no conscious awareness of their Shadow. There are personalities who have a flat affect (little or no real emotion expressed). Others are studied, stilted who lack spontaneity and humor. You have aggressive personalities who demand constant attention, who find fault in others and are incapable of admiting that they are ever wrong. These are false selves that have been developed to conceal a real self that has been psychologically damaged.
Our personal Shadow is revealed through dreams, fantasies, reveries and spontaneous writing. When we are open to these inner worlds we become receptive to the richness of the unconscious.
We continue to face our Shadows. For many the Shadow remains completely unrecognized by the conscious psyche of the individual. As human swe carry the inheritnce of our Shadow selves. This is not a curse but an incredible boon to those who seek wholeness and the promise and fulfillment of one's unique individuality.
Becoming open to our dreams, reveries, meditations, offers a pathway to become acquainted and familiar with the Shadow.
Creativity is born through the Shadow. It comes forth in spontaneous writing, our dreams, in communion with Nature. It walks with us day and night---always beside whether we acknowledge its presence or not.
The Shadow is born in the heart of the unconscious, that mysterious territory and center of light and dark, a psychological chiascuro from which the masterpiece is created and spins into existence in its full glory.
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Narcissists cast dark shadows over our lives, especially when we are very young. Deep inside, instinctively, we know that we must survive. Many of us go along not only to get along but to stay vital psychologically. Some young children in highly disturbed narcissistic fmilies become hyper-vigilant-always surveying their environments for danger, threats, visceral feelings of being completely unsafe. They distract themselves ith activity. They normalize what they are experiencing.
Narcissistic fathers cannot parent. They are emotionally unavailable to their children. The go through the motions of interacting with them.
The narcissistic father doesn't careabout the individuality of his son or daughter. He may choose a golden child as a stand out to become just like him--a narcissist.
Other children who are less attractive from his perspective and not stand outs are set aside for neglect and constant ridicule.
There is an accumulation of truth about your narcissistic father. Those who wake up to the truth that their father is a merciless, despotic narcissist sever this toxic relationship and begin the healing process of fulfilling their destiny as a free, separate individual. You deserve healing, restoration, transformation and the manifestation of your unique creative gifts.
Click the link below for my books on Amazon:
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Click the link below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, a global network of Shows by Podcasters encompassing every face of Mental Health:
www.mhnrnetwork.com
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Narcissistic mothers are completely absorbed with themselves. Many of them have children to enhance their image of having a perfect family. The work of raising, nurturing and protecting one's child is expected and essential. The narcissistic mother often turns her daughter over to babysitters or nannies when the child is very young, even an infant. She makes sure that friends and acquaintances believe that she is a devoted mother. She talks about her daughter, pretending that she is emotionally invested in her child.
Narcissistic mothrs often rule the family. Father is present in name only. He is a fixture in is own house. Some of these fathers are workaholics and prefer to be away from home rather than deal with the cold, harsh temperament of this woman.
The scapegoated daughter has no defense against the ridicule, demeaning verbal assaults of these highly disturbed mothers. Their stories of being taunted and humiliated are heartrending.
Some of these daughters experience symptoms of post traumatic stress syndrome and spend years in the aftermath of these traumas and their efforts to heal. Individuals who have been through such a prolonged ordeal need our understanding and compassion.
Many of them find their way to healing through support roups, participate in psychotherapy, work with healing modalities--gentle yoga, forms of mindfulness and meditation. The deeper our understanding of the true nature of narcissistic mothers the better we are prepared to help ourselves in the process of healing, restoration and the rediscovery of the real, authentic, creative self.
Click the link below for my books on Amazon:
https://tinyurl.com/46befxue
Click the link below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, A Global Network of Shows by Podcasters, encompassing every facet of Mental Health:
www.mhnrnetwork.com
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Today we are surrounded by countless greedy narcissists in a society that has become exceedingly materialistic, coarse, Darwinian, soulless. The high level narcissist is all act: false, cunning, acquisitive.
The greediest go after what you have â investments, properties, residences, businesses, valuable possessions, trusts, works of art.They feed off of your creativity and steal your projects. â all the while leading you to believe that they are collaborating and contributing to your success.
Narcissists are not team players. This is a pretense, a strategy a ruse, a well honed act to gain your trust and ultimately to control you and the products of your unique creativity.
No matter how much they have, for the high level narcissist it is never enough. The fever of acquisitiveness reigns with these individuals. You cannot win if you stay partnered with them unless you are willing to become their psychological prisoners and forfeit your individuality, your unique gifts and your inner peace. Some of those who remain aligned with the high level narcissist are in a state of permanent delusion. They have fused with the narcissist and are unable to extricate themselves from this psychopathological state.
The high level narcissist doesnât care if you are left with nothing. They get what they want, discard you and move on to the next shiniy prize.
There is hope and redemption with those who remain grounded in their authenticity and integrity combined with their creative gifts. At a time of great insight you find your unique pathway that leads to the authentic self. Give yourself tremendous credit for redisvering the truth about yourself. Listen to the voice of your intuition that always speaks the truth.
Click the link below for my books on Amazon:
https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam
Click the link below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, a global network of Shows by Podcasters on every facet of Mental Health:
www.mhnrnetwork.com
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For Empaths: Practice Self Care and Self Kindness DraftSep 25, 2023
Empaths are unique individuals who are often misunderstood. As babies and small children they learn that they are unlike other family members. Some children are accepted and respected but this attitude tends to be the exception. Empaths have a heightened sense of perception. They are highly sensitive to loud noises, large crowds and social events.
Empaths are seekers of the truth and have keen insights and intuitions. The society and even within their families, these gifts are not accepted and valued. Rather the empath is treated like a person who is odd, peculiar, someone who doesn't fit in.
True empaths are rare and extraordinary. Their perceptions about human nature and individuals in particular are very accurate. Often these individuals are not believed. Many growup in families that discount this level of high consciousness and intuitive sight.
Self care and self kindness are essential practices for empaths:
Protecting Your Sleep and Rest:
Honor your sleep. Don't let others, especially demanding individuals-narcissists- interfere with your sleep. The great healer is sleep, a profound activity that we are designed for. Sleep is part of all human and animal species. It nourishes and restores every system: skeletal, muscular, respiratory, cardiovascular, digestive, reproductive, endocrine, lymphatic and the mitochrondria in every cell.
We are created to follow the natural daylight and night---to sleep when darkness comes at night and to awaken when the sun rises and radiates in the sky throughout the day.
Sleep protects and strengthens the immune system, restores our vital energy and decreases inflammation. In sleep the unconscious speaks, bringing us dreams that are mysterious, healing and insightful. We are often daunted by the meaning of our dreams. Nevertheless, they are invaluable although often inscrutable.
In many cultures for hundreds of years the habit of taking a rest has been part of a daily routine. Rest offers physical, psychological and emotional refreshment. Having the freedom to think in quiet, to enjoy one's solitude and creativity is a very pleasant activity. This gives us a feeling of well-being. It offers a great opportunity to move into the parasympathetic nervous system, the restorative, healing mode.
Protecting Your Psychological Boundaries
Respecting your personal boundaries is an essential part of your positive self-entitlement to inner peace. Recognize that you can say "No" to the narcissist who is constantly making outrageous demands, lying to you, projecting venomous rage. Developing a strong sense of self-regard is essential to eatablishing and maintaining boundaries. Separating out of the narcissist's delusion world you move forward along your unique individual pathways of psychological and creative development.
Setting Your Personal Pace: Each individual has a natural tempo, a way of moving that is unique to them. As a child, spouse or partner of a high level narcissist you spent many years dancing to their choreography. High level narcissists are often peripetetic---they never stop moving. You have been trying to keep up with their rapid pace and constant demands for too many years. This is your time your space, your pace, your dance.
Spend time with Nature, her beauty and Inspiration: We are part of Nature. It showers us with gifts of magnificent beauty. Nature is our home, an inspiration for creative thinking, a companion that inspires, nourishes, calms and delights us.
Developing Your Unique Routine: Daily routines that you are motivating, creative, healing and restorative.
Decide on your priorities, try different schedules, choose activities that appeal to you. Leave room for flexibility. Don't be judgmental. There are no mistakes in choosing the elements of your routine.
Enjoy your choices. Honor your unique needs, wishes, energy levels, deep interests, appreciation of beauty, the manifestation of your singular individuality.
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Collapse More Episodes 0 High level Narcissists â Playing Their False Self Roles Read More Quick LinksGet Embed PlayerDownload Audio File Author : N/A Episode Type : Full Episode : N/A Rating : Clean File Info : | | NaNMB -
High level narcissists stand at center stage, commanding all the attention. He/she struts and preens before the audience. The high level is exultant before his/her adoring audience. These individuals expect nothing less than being perpetually adored.
Many names are associated with these false self high flyers: Champion, Winner, Nobleman, Noblewoman, Prince, Princess, Genius, Spiritual Master. On the outside, the high level narcissist sparkles, exuding a magnetic charm.
Beneath the many false selves the high level narcissist is a hollowed out, psychologically empty real self.
The high level uses specific defense mechanisms to protect himself/herself from exposure to the depleted real self.
Projection: Projection is a primitive defense mechanism that involves ejecting vile psychological venom onto victims, especially those close within his inner circle: spouses, ex-spouses, children, siblings. The big advantage for the high level is that there are no consequences for their abominable behavior.
When you are the recipient of a primitive projection your guts churn, your heart beats wildly, you feel humiliatedâfeel like disappearing.
Projections originate in the unconscious of the perpetrator. In these dark recesses, powerful untrammeled feelings and inclinations are brewing and foment upward into consciousness.
Massive Denial: This is a profound disavowal of the true reality, particularly about himself. The narcissist believes that he/she is a fine person, an individual of integrity. The high level is immune to his mean, vindictive, demanding behaviors.
The narcissist easily finds fault with others, (often rivals for power) whom he criticizes reflexively. The high level harbors a deep envy of his competitors.
When he/she has behaved badly in business or socially, the high level shifts the blame on to others rather than taking responsibility for his deceptive, and egregious behaviors. The high level can never admit being âwrongâ since the reinforced false self perceives himself/herself as perfect and superior.
Repression:The use of repression works very well for the high level narcissist. This is a form of forgetting and blocking feelings and actions and memories that run counter to the narcissistâs belief that he/she is superior and perfect. Repression is a psychological shield that protects the high level from experiencing his emotional and psychological vulnerabilities and imperfections. This mechanism âprotectsâ the narcissist from experiencing his/her hollow, helpless, depleted, empty real self.
Many are so taken with the compelling, believable false selves of the high level narcissist that they are incapable and unwilling to perceive these malevolent individuals for who they truly areâvile exploiters of those whom they psychologically and mentally control.
As a result of your research and clear insights, you perceive the true nature of the high level narcissist defined by the dark, empty, hollowed out core of these individuals.
Give yourself credit for your perseverance, your strong belief in yourself, your mental and psychological stamina. Focus on your movement into the restorative, calming pathways of the parasympathetic of self care and the use of your unique creative gifts.
Click the link below for my books on Amazon:
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"In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it." (Michelangelo) One of the greatest sculptors created unsurprassed masterpieces---The Pieta, David, Moses among others. He was a master at taking a block of inanimate material and bringing it to the highest artistic fulfillment.
I was thinking about this great work and something popped into my mind about the narcissistic mother who endeavors with all of her force to create the perfect child---her golden one. Some are chosen to play this role; others are not.
Many a narcissistic parent has become obsessed with molding a tiny baby into a perfect vision. This works beautifully with art using clay, marble and alabaster but it is a disaster with little children.
Were you the chosen one, the one who was ignored, the golden child dethroned, the child who was hidden in the bunch, the child who got into a lot of trouble with mom because you insisted on being yourself? There are innumerable patterns in these narcissistic, highly dysfunctional families.
Some children respond positively to the prodding of their highly ambitious narcissistic mothers. These mothers are restless creatures. Mother is relentlessly at work. Day and night she is plotting and thinking about the magnificence of the end product when the curtain parts and her creation is at center stage.
If one daughter does not go along with the transformation project, she will discard her and pick another child. The abanded daughter has a hard time because she has lost her mother's attention and is no longer in a psychological state of her mother's grace. But those who tough it out can be blessed because they bucked the force of the narcissistic mother's disturbed contorted vision. Rather, this daughter is an individual with many unique gifts.
Narcissistic mothers will always be with us as well as narcissistic daughters. Our work is to recognize the true nature of the high level narcissists in our families and to assert and honor the immutable authentic, creative self that is grounded in truth and integrity.
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- Se mer
