Episoder
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I’m looking at what drives someone who is on some of the biggest stages in the world, and the examples we can apply to our own lives. I’m curious about celebrities, and it seems we all are. My curiosity is around why we generally think they have something we don’t. How they got something we don’t have. And we often think of them as more driven than the norm. Chad Jeffers is a celebrated musician. His guitar is featured in the Country Music Hall of Fame. And he’s been Carrie Underwood’s guitarist for 17 years. When you see Carrie on stage, you see Chad next to her. I’ve known Chad for a long time. Chad got picked up by a record label doing his own thing. Why didn’t he keep going that direction? Four years ago we had a long call where he was questioning sticking to the concert tours with Carrie. During COVID he started working in luxury real estate. He also got married and has two kids. But I recently saw him on stage in Vegas lighting up the stage with Carrie. This conversation was fun to question Chad about his motives and what drove him to become one of the top guitarists today, how he balances it with normal life and has the same questions about his journey as we do. Find Chad at chadjeffers.com
Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. [email protected].
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I’m looking at who you are when you’re uninhibited, because it’s a tell-tale sign of what is really driving you. And so often we are blind. I’m not making light of being drunk, drugged, having dementia or dying, but these are methods or altered states that generally bring down people’s shields and we see what is underneath the persona. I’ve witnessed people in all these states and I’ve experienced two myself. I find it very enlightening, and I honestly am concerned about how I do and would fare. I convict myself in thinking about the real me and it gives me two motives; one is I’d like to be the authentic me all the time, so if I was in an altered state, there would be no change. Or two, if I did change in an altered state, what would be revealed? Would I be angry, sad, intense, funny, bitter, quiet, loud…you get the idea. My muse is my recent conversation with Alua Arthur, author of Briefly Perfectly Human: Making an Authentic Life By Getting Real About The End. Alua talked about people at the end of life as they contemplate their mortality and regrets, secret joys, hidden affairs, and dim realities are finally revealed aloud.
Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. [email protected].
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Mangler du episoder?
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In this episode I’m looking at a concept that may be far more effective for motivating us than goal setting. There was a study that showed 80% of people are more motivated by problem solving than goals. What is a problem to consider? Dying. Imagine if you knew you had one year to live? What would you want to do? What would you stop doing? What would matter and what would not? After my recent conversation with celebrated death doula, Alua Arthur, I’m looking at replacing my annual goal setting with annual death planning. Thinking about it honestly feels more orienting and motivating. And after the recent death of my father, it feels radically responsible to my family as well.
Hey, got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. [email protected]
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The point of this podcast is to better fuel your drive so you achieve more fulfillment. I’ve met few people who want to talk about death. We avoid it like…death. It’s black and dark and to be feared. At least in our culture. But seven months ago my Dad got a surprise cancer diagnosis, and he died six weeks later. I was fortunate to walk with him daily until his last breath. I went from zero exposure to death, to full exposure. And it’s altered my life. My brother Jared Angaza was there as well, and he participated intimately as a death doula, walking with my Dad intimately in his personal care and spiritual ponderings. We’d never heard the term “death doula” before. Well, divinely, I was contacted by an agency about having Alua Arthur on this podcast. Alua is the most visible death doula working in America today. She trains and educates other death doulas to walk with people in the end days of their lives, from basic planning to nurturing their souls and the lives of their loved ones. Alua has spent literally thousands of hours with people as they contemplate their mortality when regrets, secret joys, hidden affairs, and dim realities are finally revealed aloud. It is for this insight I wanted to talk with her. Her TED Talk, “Why thinking about death helps you live a better life” has 1.5 million views. She has been featured on CBS’s The Doctors and I’ve now seen her in Disney’s “Limitless” docu-series with Chris Hemsworth. Alua’s journey to death work started when her family fled a murderous coup d'etat in Ghana. She went on to become a lawyer, but after walking with a close friend through his death, she devoted herself to walking with others and educating us on what we can gain in our lives today, from considering our death in the future, instead of avoiding it. I’ll be referencing Alua’s new book, Briefly Perfectly Human: Making an Authentic Life By Getting Real About The End, which is her raw, no holds barred, honest, and frequently hilarious memoir that shares her powerful message with people all around the world. You can also find out more at Goingwithgrace.com. I sat down to talk with Alua about how her insights with death can help us lead more authentically driven and rewarding lives, right now.
Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. [email protected].
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Guilt is a primary hidden driver that we’ve accepted as a norm. How much of your lives and actions are being driven by this life draining motive? Probably more than you are aware of. But why, is the question. And how can you stop it? I’m with Valorie Burton. Valorie is founder of the Coaching and Positive Psychology (CaPP) Institute and has written more than a dozen books on personal development. She has a unique combination of research, faith, and personal transparency that inspires people to action and delivers practical tools to find fulfillment and purpose in work and life. Her book, “Let Go Of The Guilt,” is my muse. Valerie’s research into the reality and nuances of guilt and the hold it has on us is profound, which is why I pursued her to be on the show and shine a light on this very insidious and pervasive driver that is leading so many of us to frustration, exhaustion, burn out and unfulfillment. I begin with Valorie’s story. What were her early drivers? What drove her to push and strive and get herself into the Air Force Academy on a presidential appointment, then what drove her to drop out? What drove her to realize how much of her drive was fueled by guilt and what drove her to start a PR firm then abandon it to be an author and speaker? What drove her to marry, then divorce, then to marry again? What drives her today? Type Valorie Burton in any search engine and you’ll find her everywhere, and her coaching business is at cappinstitute.com
Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. [email protected].
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I don’t know many people who are sitting around bored. Who have ample free time and lots of margin. Between work, self-care, parenting, home and car maintenance and even socializing and entertainment, we generally have more we want to do and get done than time allows. So we stay at status quo and can feel fairly stuck. What’s interesting is we love to watch people at the top of their game. Athletes and celebrities and people of influence who spend far more time on average, working at their chosen craft and keeping themselves in top shape overall. When you look at our paradigm, I find it faulty. Drive with me a moment and I’ll explain.
Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. [email protected].
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This is a warning for our culture as we are falling into a mode of far more consuming and far less creating. Two episodes ago I had business strategist and purpose expert, Mike Zeller, author of The Genius Within. A profound statement he wrote in his book, that I find to be a great challenge to us all, is this, “You don’t become great by reading other people’s great thoughts, shouting mantras and even surrounding yourself with great people. You have to think your own great thoughts and believe you can be great, then act in great ways.” We can fall into the trap of consuming and consuming a never ending supply of great information. It’s inspiring. It’s hopeful. And we will benefit to varying degrees from the exposure. But at the end of the day, if we’re going to experience greatness from ourselves, we must take what we’ve learned and create something. Offer something. We make a decision on a value we believe we can deliver and we deliver it. We evolve from consumer to creator. From spectator to the stage. And in a way that uniquely fits you, which we also miss and I’ll speak to in just a moment. Consumer vs creator
Hey, got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. [email protected].
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We frequently hurt our pursuit of purpose with two, polarized myths. One is that our purpose will be nothing but fun and play and passion. Or two, that our great purpose, our mission in life, will be great toil and sacrifice. After having over 250 of our world’s most influential people on this show, I haven’t found any who felt what they did was all play or all toil. And I haven’t found this in my own journey through well over 20 different endeavors I’ve devoted myself to. In our previous episode I was with business architect and purpose expert Mike Zeller talking about our zone of genius, which is the title of his book, and my focus with Mike was on the topic of purpose. He helped us look at our purpose and genius as a zone and not one, specific thing. Now I want to help you with the perspective of what your purpose will likely feel like and take it out of the errant polarization it often falls into.
Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. [email protected].
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We’d all like to know the one assignment, the mission, the purpose that was just for us. That we were made for. We’d like a stone tablet to fall out of the sky that said, “This is what you are here to do. Go do it.” What confidence we’d have! We love to watch movies where life and death is on the line and it’s clear what everyone needs to do. But life is not like that. You wake up today to way too many possibilities, all the while thinking you’re supposed to find that one thing that is just for you. One thing out of the seemingly limitless opportunities. I have Mike Zeller on the show today because I’m incredibly interested in his concept of us having a “zone of genius.” As you’ll hear at the top of the show, he makes a great case for our genius and purpose not being one thing and one role, but a zone we understand and work within. It’s not limitless and it’s not one thing. That is hopeful and just rings true to my own life experience. Mike is a renowned business architect and mentor to entrepreneurs, but I find his personal genius lies within his innate ability to help people pinpoint their deepest purposes, greatest gifts, and highest potential to serve and influence the world, which is what we all long to do. His book is The Genius Within: Your Natural Pathway To Impact, Fulfillment & Wealth. We walk and talk through understanding your unique talents, key relationships, unique life experiences, and values and passions and how they compilate into your zone of genius. This is a deep conversation that I believe will uncover some profound insights for you. You can get Mike’s 14 Free tools to Rapidly Rewire Your Nervous System: https://neurorewiring.com/. And a free copy of his book at www.geniuswithinbook.com
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Clinically we hear about gut health and the microbiome. I’m not a doctor. So in layman's terms, the idea is, we eat food. We chew it up and swallow and it goes down into our system. The processing plant. How is the processing plant doing? Is it able to break things down? Get out nutrients? Turn things into energy and vitality? I’m with Randy James, medical doctor and Functional Medicine practitioner to talk about what happens, what we want to happen, and how to make it happen so that we are getting the necessary benefits from our food.
Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. [email protected].
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We often find ourselves at the end of our rope, burnt out in our work or a relationship, usually citing some game ending event or circumstance. When in reality, this was building up for a long time. I’m still pondering insights from my conversation with Mark Groves, Human Connection Specialist and founder of Create the Love. He’s host of the Mark Groves Podcast and co-author of a new book, Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire. He spoke to relational failure and “Death by a thousand cuts. That most relationships die from a thousand little disconnects that ultimately develop a great chasm.” This resonated with me from my own story and stories from so many others, and my experience that all the little things we think we should endure, that we “shouldn’t sweat the small stuff” in essence, fails us. Drive with me a moment on this concept.
Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. [email protected].
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We all desire to be our authentic selves. To be our fullest selves. You hear these messages and promises from the personal growth industry because it's such a desire of aspiring people like you and me. Many message talk about coming back to yourself and finding yourself again. In my experience however, we have never been close to being our true selves, as our true selves have never existed. No, not even as a child. In understanding this, it relieves us of some perception baggage and frees us for some true, new discovery about who we might really be. Drive with me a moment.
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All of us have things we dislike. Things we seem to hold some fear of. And as someone who is seeking self awareness, you will likely get stumped as to why you have some of these feelings. We have all the phobias. Literal fears. But then we have a list of things we just dislike. Things that make us uncomfortable. Things that frustrate us. Things that cause us negative reactions and feelings and it just makes no sense to us. I find a lot of guilt in men and women for struggling with issues that just don’t seem to make sense to them and they feel they are uniquely broken. I have an intriguing research story to tell you that is just profound to consider for your life and helps you understand these mystery feelings and give you freedom from some, if not all, of your broken feelings.
Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. [email protected]
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You are in a variety of relationships. How liberated do you feel? How free to be yourself and think and speak freely do you feel? Especially in your closest relationships. My experience in my own life and in walking closely with so many others is we come together and morph to fit and please each other, and continue a cycle of morphing for the length of the relationship. If we can handle it. And often we can’t, which is why we see so many relationships end, or die and linger together for decades. Mark Groves is a Human Connection Specialist and founder of Create the Love. He’s host of the Mark Groves Podcast and co-author of a new book, Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire. Mark's work bridges the academic and the human, inviting people to explore the good, the bad, the downright ugly, and the beautiful sides of connection. He has an Instagram of over one million followers that he just discontinued because he felt the platform itself is not conducive to health. It depicts Mark’s devotion to the heart. To love. I start our talk off, asking him what, at a high level, he is guiding us to be liberated from. He started off with being liberated from patterns of relationships we inherited. We go from here to talk through six steps he lays out to help us, liberate our love.
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Recovering from injury is a popular topic, whether it’s a broken bone, a soft tissue sprain, pull, or tear, or a severe illness or disease. Yet as you’ll hear in this episode, we hit on the reality that living itself is injury. Every morning you wake up, hopefully having gotten quality sleep that was healing. Let’s say you start at 100%, which is impossible, but whatever level you start out, from that point on you are depleting yourself, physically and mentally. You spend the day wearing down your resources, which is why by nighttime, we are tired. It’s our body saying, “Hey, I’ve used up enough resources I need rest and recovery to recharge!” If you have a specific, acute injury from an accident or illness, your body needs even more recovery. Thus the things we think to do to recover from a big injury, don’t differ from things we want to address every day for our recovery. It’s a valuable paradigm shift to realize the reality of our existence as it pertains to our overall, daily capacity and ability. I’m with Randy James, medical doctor and functional medicine expert to talk about your health, which drives all you do. Find him at truelifemedicine.com
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My headline of doing only what you want will seem facetious and likely with a catch. But I commit to you that it’s possible, right now and today, to only do what you want. Or at least give you a dramatic launch in that direction and help you get there completely in short order. Does that mean you then achieve perfect happiness and joy? Not at all, because you’ll end up facing the reality that you are doing a lot of things you want to do that aren’t your best choice. You’ll either change some things or submit to them, but with a different perspective of personal power and ownership than normal. It’s a simple, yet very profound exercise.
Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. [email protected].
My headline of doing only what you want will seem facetious and likely with a catch. But I commit to you that it’s possible, right now and today, to only do what you want. Or at least give you a dramatic launch in that direction and help you get there completely in short order. Does that mean you then achieve perfect happiness and joy? Not at all, because you’ll end up facing the reality that you are doing a lot of things you want to do that aren’t your best choice. You’ll either change some things or submit to them, but with a different perspective of personal power and ownership than normal. It’s a simple, yet very profound exercise.
Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. [email protected].
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Taking responsibility doesn’t come from some grand maturity or discipline as much as it comes from our identity and perspective. It’s a security issue. When you find yourself amidst a negative emotion and the temptation to place blame on someone or something else, it’s because something feels at risk. There are two questions you can ask to get to the root issue and generally alleviate the problem, or at least get honest with it. The questions are, “What am I protecting?” and “What is my perceived threat?” When you are not trying to protect yourself and when you are not threatened by anything, taking responsibility holds no risk. And it moves from damage control to possibility and opportunity. This is the paradigm shift you can make in regards to responsibility. Let me help you understand it more fully so you can embrace responsibility in a new light.
Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. [email protected].
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In this episode I’m flipping our concept of taking control. The normal perspective on taking control is to stand up tall and assert yourself. Take a firm grip and bend things to your will. This concept is generally related to your external life when you are striving to control things that are often not controllable or not your responsibility to control. But even internally this is the concept we can have. “OK Kevin. Get a grip! Grit your teeth. Be disciplined and use some will power! Man up! Woman up. Human up!” Yet the most powerful people I’ve ever experienced took little to know effort to get a grip. What I see them doing is the opposite. Letting go. And before you even think it, let me note that it’s not about not caring. So how do you let go, when you care deeply, and be in control? Drive with me a moment.
Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. [email protected].
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The conversation explores the concept of responsibility versus blame. The participants discuss the opportunities and payoffs of taking responsibility for oneself, such as empowerment, self-fulfillment, and personal growth. They also examine the cultural factors that may contribute to a lack of responsibility, including a litigious society and the impact of social media. The importance of knowing oneself and defining one's own narrative is highlighted, as well as the need for nuance in understanding personal responsibility. The conversation also touches on the distinction between taking responsibility for oneself and taking responsibility for others' emotions. In this part of the conversation, Vienna Pharaon, Terri Cole, Britt Frank, and Kevin Miller discuss the importance of taking responsibility in relationships.
Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. [email protected].
Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code KEVIN and depending on the model receive UP TO 39% off or UP TO $300 off!
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In this episode we talk about play. Non-productive activities, in essence, though what you’ll find is these activities greatly support our overall productivity. I spent a lot of years with no room for play. I saw it as unproductive. It took a while to notice the joy my friends who played had, and how it seemed to coincide with their success everywhere else. It can be a hard issue for the aspiring and success oriented individual, as the topic of play and fun can sound like a frivolity or luxury and lacks the valor of just pushing toward the big goal. And we all know some people who mainly play and don’t get much done. But you’re not at risk of this. You are likely, very productive. Maybe too productive. And you need some play to inspire and invigorate and rejuvenate you. Some people used to view sleep as a luxury too, and bra about getting 4 hours of sleep. We know better now and I’m so grateful that I find people bragging about getting a solid 8 hours or more! Among the truly successful I see a priority given to play. Budgeting time for non-productive work that gives our emotions a break and our inspiration a boost. In this episode I’m joined by my great friend Randy James, medical doctor and functional medicine expert, as we dig into the concept.
Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. [email protected].
Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code KEVIN and depending on the model receive UP TO 39% off or UP TO $300 off!
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