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No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until December).
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No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday October and we only do four episodes a month - take it up with our lawyer, Julian Calendar)
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Put your seat back into the reclining position (but only if you have the express consent of the person behind you who has also ideally reclined their seat with the express consent of the person behind them ad infinitum etc), shove a lukewarm bean in each ear and enjoy a third bean as a mid-flight snack for only âŹ79.99 for Joe from York has suggested budget airlines as this weekâs topic. That may mean BYO sandwich, BYO magazine and BYO sick-bag but the lukewarm chat is complementary. Bean voyage.
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Dan from Bremen chooses sharks for this weekâs topic as well he might. After all, just as the shark is a perfectly evolved apex predator, so is the bean a perfectly evolved apex legume. No one wants three sharks to team up: that would simply lead to a bloodbath. Three beans on the other hand means a lukewarm banter bath and everyoneâs invited (special rubber socks will be supplied for those with untreated athleteâs foot or verrucas).
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True to form, Tutankhamun from the Nile Delta has selected the pyramids as this weekâs topic. Were these structures named after the shape or was it the other way around? Were they meant to be that shape in the first place or did they just run out of bricks? If theyâve REALLY been there for thousands of years how come they arenât totally covered in graffiti tags and pictures of willies and stuff? For answers to all these questions and more why not try Wikipedia or Reddit or something? For a lukewarm take - press play.
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Adverts: lifeblood of the nation, engine of the economy, coal of the mind. What could be more splendid then than a podcast episode which already contains adverts also being about adverts? Thank you to Andrew from Leeds for feeding this suggestion into the bean machine for a listening experience which flicks a cold, hard finger-swear at the skip-forwards-by-30-seconds button.
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Itâs drive time on Bean FM and this week the lukewarm hits are in the key of âpastaâ thanks to Matt of Bremen! Weâve got all the latest celebrity gossip, updates from Bonjaminâs traffic drone, weather from The Onion Child, something about sport presumably and unlimited adverts!! Call 0800-RIGATONI now with your crazy pasta story and you could win a sieve moulded from the face of Chris Tarrant!!!With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.
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The beans doff their caps (FUNGUS PUN!) to Adam of Bremington Spa for providing this weeks topic: mushrooms. What (or who???) are mushrooms? And why? And how come none of the other podcasts are getting to grips with them? Fear? Lobbyists? No matter. Just sit back, chuck some beans together with some mushrooms in a pot, set the hob to lukewarm and letâs see what bubbles up.
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Looking for a clear explanation of the syncopated contrapuntal elaboration of static half-diminished harmony tritone substitution turnaround? Then look no further as Cameron of Milton Keynes has the beans talk about jazz this week and, unless some sort of technical catastrophe has taken place resulting in a comprehensive explanation and discussion of musicâs crown prince genre being replaced some quantity of bollocks, the beans have got you covered groove-style.
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STREAMING TICKETS FOR OUR LONDON PODCAST FESTIVAL LIVE SHOWS:
Friday 13th Sept 2024, 7pm: https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/30561/30562
Saturday 14th Sept 2024, 7pm: https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/30530/30531
With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.
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Play this episode directly in front of a mirror and no reflection of it shall ye see because this episode, the first of season fourteen, is all about vampires thanks to Stan of Manchester. Little is known of the elusive Stan of Manchester other than he always travels with 50 boxes of Transylvanian soil. Make of that what you will.
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No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September).
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No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month on the basis of hard won workers' rights)
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This week the beans are scraping away the topsoil of knowledge and softly brushing away the woodlice of friendship to reveal a hoard of lukewarm banter for your pleasure. This is all thanks to Pat from Ely who buried archaeology into the bean machine in the distant past naively assuming it would never be disturbed and would be allowed to rest in peace in perpetuity. Hard cheese, Pat!
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"Why is that Wikipedia doesnât bother having any pages about aquatic craft these days?â, you might ask if youâd had your head stuck in a honey badgerâs front porch for the last 3 years. The answer, of course, is that people come to Three Bean Salad for comprehensive data batches on this subject as well as the very hottest of takes. Previous âsearchesâ by listeners have included submarines, the Titanic and cruise ships. This week Rowan completes the set by asking the beans to unravel the mysteries of the final category of water going vehicles: boats.
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Rebecca from (The?) Wirral selects haircuts as this weekâs topic for the beans. Presumably this was a cynical attempt to silence Henry for an episode - an attempt which, of course, failed. Rebecca has been referred to the Bean Standards Select Committee and is suspended without pay pending their findings.
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This week, Bonjamin Partridge centralises power, unilaterally suppresses any viable opposition and brings all bean media under executive control. âBig deal!â we hear you cry. âHeâs just tapping into the Zeitgeist!â. Perhaps youâre right. Perhaps such a man understands that the people need to hear a story about a hot air balloon ride even when they might not think they need to hear a story about a hot air balloon ride. Tune in again next week when Bonjamin turns his sights on the judiciary!
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Is it true what they donât say that the world is on the brink of sliding back into a system of feudalism? If so where will you be in the pecking order? And more importantly where will podcasters be? Clergy level? Perhaps Cody from America has a take on all this? Perhaps not. Perhaps definitely Cody asked the beans to discuss feudalism and they did after a fashion.
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Allison of Penistone has the beans talk about gameshows this week and by gum they donât disappoint. Or do they? Why not play the ultimate game of chance and find out? Simply âSpin That Bean!â* and you could stand to win the best part of an hour of lukewarm banter.*conceptual bean only. Sorry. Youâll need to click the link as per.
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Livestream tickets for our shows at London Podcast Festival on Friday 13 Sept and Saturday 14 Sept 2024: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/kplayer/performer/three-bean-salad/
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It is said that there as many books in the libraries of the world as there are atoms in a book (although not sure which book. Actually that doesnât make sense given the variation in the size of books. Perhaps it was in a grain of sand. Or is that the thing about there being the same number of stars in the sky as grains of sand in a beach. But which beach? West Wittering is massive. Actually forget it). Freya of Bremen has chosen libraries for this weekâs topic so for once can we all just ruddy well put those phones away and read a bleeding novel?!
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A brand new series kicks the talon of lukewarm banter through the paper-thin shell of rules before squawking truth bombs from the beak of freedom and watching its unhatched siblings being gathered by the smallholder of something else and incorporated into a pretty decent ham and cheese omelette. Thatâs right, thanks to Katie of Hull, the first topic of the first of episode of series 13 is eggs.
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Get in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod - Se mer
