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Welcome to Time to Talk with Alex Holmes, and thank you for joining me for our journey through men’s mental health this Movember.
Over the next month, we’ll take 10 minutes each day to slow down, reflect, and explore what it means to live with authenticity and purpose—without the noise, clutter, and external expectations that often weigh us down.
Today, we’re laying the groundwork by talking about existentialism and mental health. You might wonder—why existentialism? Why this philosophical approach? What makes it relevant, especially now?
Existentialism is a philosophy that focuses on life’s biggest questions: Who am I? Why am I here? What do I want my life to mean?
These questions have been around for centuries, but they’re especially important for men in today’s world. We live in a time where external definitions and societal expectations can often feel like a mold we have to fit. Yet, existentialism offers us another way—a way to live authentically, rooted in personal values, and to create meaning from the inside out.
I am so glad you got this far.
Please have a look at my website if you are interested in speaking about what I do, and get in touch.
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In honor of Movember, join me for a journey into men’s mental health that digs deep into authenticity, mental minimalism, and intentional living.
Each 10-minute episode of Time To Talk with Alex Holmes is crafted for quiet moments—whether you’re on a morning walk, cooling down after a workout, or just need a break to slow down.
For men in the public eye, searching for meaning and purpose amid the pressures of a high-visibility life, this series is an invitation to step back and focus on what truly matters.
Through themes of self-awareness, relationships, purpose, and legacy, we’ll explore how to live authentically, shedding mental clutter and aligning with values that resonate with who we truly are.
How to Get Involved:
Listen Daily: Tune in for a short episode every day throughout November.
Reflect and Act: Each episode comes with a reflection to carry through your day, focusing on mindfulness and intentionality.
Sunday Recaps: Receive a weekly written recap every Sunday in the Sunday Meaning series, ideal for those who prefer to read or want to revisit the week’s insights.
If you’re ready to start living with intention and authenticity, join us.
Subscribe, rate, and review: follow on LinkedIn, or sign up on Substack for Sunday Meaning recaps. Let’s take this month to reconnect with ourselves and build a foundation for a life that truly reflects who we are.
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In this episode of Time to Talk, host Alex Holmes deeply converses with Dean Atta about his experiences with masculinity, identity, and family dynamics.
Dean shares his journey of navigating his childhood as a mixed-race boy, his relationship with masculinity, and the impact of his family, particularly his uncles and mother, on his identity.
The discussion also delves into the complexities of coming out, the perceptions of his sexuality within his family, and the importance of self-acceptance. Dean reflects on his aspirations for the future and the significance of sharing his story through his work.
Key Takeaways:
Masculinity can be perceived as a box that limits expression.
Family dynamics play a crucial role in shaping identity.
Coming out is an ongoing process, not a one-time event.
The importance of finding comfort in one's true self.
Creative outlets can serve as a form of therapy.
Navigating childhood experiences can be complex and challenging.
Supportive family members can provide a sense of safety.
Self-acceptance is key to personal growth.
The impact of societal expectations on masculinity.
Sharing personal stories can foster connection and understanding.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Context of Masculinity
05:56 Navigating Childhood and Gender Roles
13:18 Family Dynamics and Male Relationships
22:34 The Intersection of Performance and Masculinity
24:49 Exploring the World of Performance
30:04 The Journey into Poetry and Self-Expression
30:15 Navigating Family Dynamics and Coming Out
39:04 Reflections on Youth and Future Aspirations
PATREON
SUBSTACK
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TikTok: @byalexholmes
Website: alexholmes.co
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In this episode, Alex Holmes discusses the importance of community engagement through his podcast, emphasising the role of existential coaching in personal development.
He explores the challenges faced by black men in the public sphere, particularly in light of recent setbacks among younger black male figures.
The conversation delves into themes of authenticity, identity, and the societal pressures that shape black masculinity, ultimately advocating for a more nuanced understanding of these experiences.
Takeaways
Community engagement is vital for personal growth.
Existential coaching helps individuals navigate their identities.
Setbacks can illustrate the unique struggles faced by black men.
Authenticity requires resisting imposed societal definitions.
Black masculinity is multifaceted and complex.
Learning from setbacks is crucial for personal development.
Existentialism encourages self-definition through choices.
Public visibility can complicate personal authenticity.
The narrative around black men needs to evolve.
Creating a supportive community fosters open conversations.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Community Engagement
08:10 Exploring Black Men's Experiences in the Public Sphere
22:09 Authenticity and Identity in the Face of Setbacks
PATREON
SUBSTACK
WEBSITE
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JORDAN STEPHENS is a writer and performer and one-half of the chart-topping duo Rizzle Kicks.
Having been publicly open about his struggles surrounding mental health, Jordan has been active in creating awareness around the stigma.
His mental health campaign #IAMWHOLE reached over 120 million people online and was mentioned in the Houses of Parliament.
His children’s book The Missing Piece was shortlisted for the 2023 Waterstone’s Children’s Book Prize, and his new book, Avoidance, Drugs, Heartbreak and Dogs (Canongate Books) became an instant Sunday Times bestseller when it was published in August 2024.
Listen Here On All Platforms.
Buy His Book Here.
Do you want to become a Change Agent?
As a Change Agent, you will join a powerful community of people who want to live an intentional life, improve their mental health and well-being, and see an improvement in the state of masculinity in a holistic way.
Positive vibes, but challenging conversations.
You're called up to inspire and lead.
Join PATREON to become a Change Agent.
Read my writing in SUBSTACK.
Website: alexholmes.co
TikTok: @byalexholmes
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In this episode of Time to Talk, Alex Holmes reintroduces himself and discusses the importance of mental health conversations, particularly focusing on black men's mental health. He highlights the challenges faced in therapy, including feelings of misunderstanding and the need for culturally competent therapists.
Alex emphasizes the significance of connection and community in the healing process, exploring various therapeutic modalities such as hypnotherapy and group therapy. He encourages listeners to seek the right support and to be curious about their mental health journey, ultimately advocating for a more open dialogue around mental well-being.
Takeaways:
Mental health conversations are crucial for collective healing.
Black men's mental health often goes misunderstood in therapy.
Culturally competent therapists are essential for effective therapy.
Silence around mental health can be harmful.
Connection with a therapist who understands is vital.
Therapy is not a one-size-fits-all solution.
Exploring different therapeutic modalities can be beneficial.
Community support plays a significant role in healing.
Curiosity about oneself is key to personal growth.
Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Time Stamps:
00:00 Welcome to Time to Talk
05:06 The Importance of Mental Health Conversations
08:25 Understanding Black Men's Mental Health
17:06 Navigating Therapy: Challenges and Misunderstandings
21:23 Exploring Therapeutic Modalities
25:16 Finding the Right Support
27:55 The Path Forward in Mental Health
Check out this article by David McQueen: 'Black Men In Therapy: A Love Letter To Self' : https://davidmcqueen.co.uk/journal/therapy-for-black-men-a-love-letter-to-self
Substack: timetotalk.substack.com
Submit Your Questions: https://forms.gle/EqHpeBWPSzJ7h4pJA
TikTok and IG: @byalexholmes / @thetimetotalkproject
Website: alexholmes.co
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In this episode of Time to Talk, host Alex Holmes explores the intricate relationship between mental weakness and mental strength, emphasising that they are not opposites but two sides of the same coin. He discusses embracing vulnerabilities as a pathway to personal growth and mental fortitude.
Through personal anecdotes and client experiences, Alex illustrates how acknowledging struggles can lead to transformation and resilience. He encourages listeners to confront their fears and vulnerabilities, highlighting that true strength lies in authenticity and emotional connection.
Substack: timetotalk.substack.com
Submit Your Questions: https://forms.gle/EqHpeBWPSzJ7h4pJA
TikTok: @byalexholmes / @thetimetotalkproject
Website: alexholmes.co
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In this episode of Time To Talk, Alex Holmes introduces the podcast and its mission to address men's mental health, particularly focusing on stress and burnout. He shares his journey, including his experiences with breakdowns and the creation of the Time To Talk project, which aims to foster open discussions about mental health, especially within the black community. The podcast serves as a platform for community support, therapy, and coaching, encouraging men to seek help and redefine strength.
Time Stamps:
00:00 Introduction to Time To Talk
01:35 The Journey of Alex Holmes
03:46 Understanding the Time To Talk Project
05:31 Call to Action and Community Engagement
Highlights:
The podcast aims to create spaces for men to thrive emotionally.
Stress management is crucial for mental health and relationships.
Alex Holmes shares his journey of overcoming burnout.
The Time To Talk project focuses on black men's mental health.
Community support is essential for healing and growth.
Open discussions about mental health can redefine masculinity.
Therapy and coaching are integral to the Time To Talk initiative.
Men are encouraged to ask questions about their mental health.
Healing is a journey that requires open communication.
The podcast seeks to challenge societal norms around masculinity.
Substack: timetotalk.substack.com
Insagram and IG: @thetimetotalkproject
Email: [email protected]
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In this episode, Alex discusses the goals of bibliotherapy and how it can be used as a tool for therapy and personal growth.
The four goals of bibliotherapy are: improving how you respond to the world, increasing self-understanding, clarifying personal relationships, and dealing with reality as is.
He explains each goal in detail and provides examples of how bibliotherapy can help achieve them. The episode also mentions upcoming topics and guests for future episodes.
Takeaways
Bibliotherapy is a complementary approach that combines the love for books with the passion to help people.
The four goals of bibliotherapy are: improving how you respond to the world, increasing self-understanding, clarifying personal relationships, and dealing with reality as is.
Bibliotherapy can help enhance self-awareness, empathy, and understanding of others.
Reading books can provide a focus, improve concentration, and help clarify personal responses and feelings.
Bibliotherapy can assist in recognizing and dealing with negative emotions, as well as addressing existential issues.
Engaging with literature can help reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Bibliotherapy encourages personal growth, self-reflection, and the exploration of different perspectives.
Future episodes will include book breakdowns and discussions with authors and experts in the field of mental health.
Chapters
00:00 Improving How You Respond to the World
15:30 Increasing Self-Understanding
29:49 Dealing with Reality as Is
36:08 Upcoming Topics and Guests
Reading List: https://uk.bookshop.org/shop/byalexholmes
Substack: byalexholmes.substack.com
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TikTok: @byalexholmes
Website: alexholmes.co
Podcast Links: https://pod.link/1437894589
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In this episode, Alex explores the concept of bibliotherapy and its impact on men's mental health. He discusses the power of books to provide guidance, support, and inspiration, and shares his personal experiences with books that have influenced his journey.
The host also addresses the challenges men face in developing a relationship with reading and offers a reading list for men interested in exploring bibliotherapy. He emphasises the importance of engaging with books actively and discusses techniques such as reflective writing and guided sessions.
The episode concludes with an invitation for listeners to embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth through the power of books and therapy.
Takeaways
Bibliotherapy is the use of books for therapeutic purposes and has been used for centuries to support mental health and personal growth.
Books have the power to shift perspectives, challenge beliefs, and provide insights and coping strategies for various mental health conditions.
Men often have a complicated relationship with reading due to past experiences and societal expectations, but engaging with books can be a powerful tool for personal development and self-reflection.
Bibliotherapy involves actively engaging with books through techniques such as reflective writing and guided sessions to translate insights into real-life actions.
A curated reading list can serve as a gateway for men to explore bibliotherapy and find books that resonate with their experiences and support their mental well-being.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction: Exploring the Intersection of Therapy, Men's Mental Health, and Books
05:18 Understanding Bibliotherapy: The Power of Books to Transform Men's Mental Health
15:00 Challenges Men Face in Developing a Relationship with Reading
25:03 Curated Reading List for Men's Mental Health and Well-being
Get in touch:
Reading List: uk.bookshop.org/shop/byalexholmes
Instagram
TikTok: @byalexholmes
Website: alexholmes.co
Podcast Links: https://pod.link/1437894589
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In this episode, Alex discusses the importance of a male-friendly approach to psychotherapy and provides tips for men seeking therapy. He emphasizes the need for therapists to understand male communication styles and experiences, and create a non-judgmental environment.
Alex also highlights the importance of focusing on strengths, setting clear goals, and being open to being challenged in therapy. He explores what men want from therapy, including a quick fix, feeling understood, and addressing relevant topics such as relationships and life transitions.
Alex encourages men to seek help and become the architects of their own lives.
Takeaways
Therapists should have a male-friendly approach that understands male communication styles and experiences.
Creating a non-judgmental environment is crucial for men to feel safe and express their emotions and vulnerabilities.
Men should focus on their strengths, set clear goals, and be open to being challenged in therapy.
Therapy can address relevant topics such as relationships, fatherhood, friendships, and life transitions.
Seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but a brave step towards improving mental health and becoming the architect of one's own life.
Chapters
00:00 The Male-Friendly Therapeutic Environment
09:13 Creating a Non-Judgmental Environment
13:59 Focusing on Strengths and Goals
20:38 Addressing Relevant Topics in Therapy
23:29 Seeking Help: A Brave Step Towards Mental Health
Socials:
Email: [email protected]
Instagram: instagram.com/thehardpartpodcast
TikTok: tiktok.com/ @byalexholmes
Substack: byalexholmes.substack.com
Podcast: https://pod.link/1437894589
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Summary
Mental health struggles do not discriminate, but our societal response to them does. Men face a stigma around seeking help, which is damaging and perpetuated by traditional notions of masculinity. This episode explores the importance of breaking the stigma and creating a culture of openness and support for men's mental health.
The story of Carl and Drew highlights the consequences of silence and the transformative power of seeking help. Strategies for breaking the stigma include creating open dialogues, educating oneself and others, seeking professional help, and advocating for better mental health resources. Taking responsibility for one's mental health is crucial for personal growth and effective leadership.
Takeaways
The stigma around men's mental health is damaging and perpetuated by traditional notions of masculinity.
Seeking help for mental health struggles is an act of bravery and not a sign of weakness.
Open dialogues, education, professional help, and advocacy are key strategies for breaking the stigma.
Taking responsibility for one's mental health is crucial for personal growth and effective leadership.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction
03:12 The Stigma Around Men's Mental Health
09:14 Breaking the Stigma
14:17 Story of Carl and Drew
24:48 Taking Responsibility for Mental Health
27:06 Challenging the Status Quo
27:57 Conclusion
Connect:
Book: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/time-to-talk-how-men-think-about-love-belonging-and-connection-alex-holmes/5009612
Spotify: open.spotify.com/episode/43wekyCcEkxSaf…
YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UC3MvN8HTNLtOjvuoHw…
PodLinks: pod.link/1437894589
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@byalexholmes
Instagram: instagram.com/thehardpartpodcast
Substack: byalexholmes.substack.com
Email: [email protected]
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In this episode, Alex Holmes introduces himself as the host of the Hard Part podcast, which focuses on the intersection of masculinity and mental health. He explains that the podcast aims to explore men's mental health, masculinity, and personal growth.
Alex shares his background as a coach and therapist, as well as his journey in the field of men's mental health. He discusses the challenges he faced in understanding what it means to be a man today and the harmful ideas around masculinity.
Alex emphasises the importance of having compassionate and authentic conversations about mental health.
Takeaways
The Hard Part podcast explores men's mental health, masculinity, and personal growth.
Men's mental health is often overlooked, and harmful ideas around masculinity can be challenging to navigate.
Therapy and coaching are valuable tools for men's mental health, and finding the right approach and practitioner is important.
Men's health and well-being have a significant impact on society, and it's crucial to address issues such as loneliness and gender disparities.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Purpose of the Podcast
06:07 Alex's Background and Journey
16:13 Overview of the Book 'Time to Talk'
22:19 Men's Relationship to Therapy and Coaching
25:15 Men's Health and Wellbeing
26:14 Challenges in Men's Relationships and Connections
28:22 Becoming the Best Version of Yourself
29:19 Creating an Interactive and Inclusive Space
30:08 The Importance of Men's Health
Connect:
Book: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/time-to-talk-how-men-think-about-love-belonging-and-connection-alex-holmes/5009612
Spotify: open.spotify.com/episode/43wekyCcEkxSaf…
YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UC3MvN8HTNLtOjvuoHw…
PodLinks: pod.link/1437894589
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@byalexholmes
Instagram: instagram.com/thehardpartpodcast
Substack: byalexholmes.substack.com
Email: [email protected]
Rate, Review, Share!
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Antonio Ferreira is a mental health advocate and campaigner. He speaks to me about his diagnosis of schizophrenia, and what that has meant for him as a young Black man today.
I am still on holiday, so looking forward to sharing more about that in the next few weeks.
My Book: Time To Talk: How Men Think About Love, Belonging and Connection
The Time To Talk Project
Gated Community: timetotalk.supercast.com
Ask a question.
Email: [email protected]
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This week, I am speaking to Gregory David Roberts.
He is a former heroin addict, escaped convict, and now a musician living in Jamaica.
His bestselling book, Shantaram, is now a TV series on Apple TV+ and we chat about all things from his experience in a straight jacket to living in India for ten years on the run.
I am still on holiday in Jamaica, so looking forward to sharing more about that in the next few weeks.
My Book: Time To Talk: How Men Think About Love, Belonging and Connection
The Time To Talk Project
Gated Community: timetotalk.supercast.com
Ask a question.
Email: [email protected]
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For the next two weeks, I am away.
In these episodes, you will get full conversations with me and a guest.
This episode is with a friend of mine, Mark McCartney. He wrote this newsletter called 'What Is A Good Life?'
We talk about:
Silent retreats in India
Starting anew
Finding out what a good life is
My Book: Time To Talk: How Men Think About Love, Belonging and Connection
The Time To Talk Project
Gated Community: timetotalk.supercast.com
Ask a question.
Email: [email protected]
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This week I ask, 'Why are men lonely?'
Articles referenced today:
The Rise of Lonely, Single Men - Greg Matos, PsyD
All The Lonely People Are Men - Greg Hurst
My Book: Time To Talk: How Men Think About Love, Belonging and Connection
The Time To Talk Project
Gated Community: timetotalk.supercast.com
Ask a question.
Email: [email protected]
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Today is World Mental Health Day.
Is Mental Health a global priority?
Dr. Sanah's Guardian Article: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/sep/06/psychologist-devastating-lies-mental-health-problems-politics
'What resources are there for men who have therapy on their to-do list'?
Ben West talks about writing his book 'This Book Could Save Your Life'
Gated Community: timetotalk.supercast.com
Men's Groups:
MenSpeak - https://www.instagram.com/menspeakmensgroups/
Men's Circle - https://www.menscircle.club/
Ask a question: https://forms.gle/mEA8Meyi2VjCifAA7
Email: [email protected]
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Welcome back to Time To Talk.
New episodes will be back on World Mental Health Day, October 10th.
Until then, here's what has been happening!
Looking forward to meeting you on October 10th.
Ask questions here: https://forms.gle/dd6PT8X3ANJoYZRN6
Join the gated community on Steady: https://steadyhq.com/alexholmes
Email: [email protected]
Socials: instagram.com/byalexholmes
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HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This episode was recorded at the end of the year.
In this episode, I am joined by Simon Thomas, James Espey, Jonny Benjamin, Dr. Az, Adam Shaw, Hope Virgo, and Tom Chapman as we discussed the theme for International Men's Day. Confronting outdated ideas surrounding men’s identity & challenging stereotypes through the power of a shared story will be presented through a series of myths alongside a real-life depiction that busts the myth and creates a continued conversation around 'what it means to 'be a man' in 2021'.
If you have been affected by any of the themes in this episode:
Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org/
Shawmind: www.shawmind.org
Mind: www.mind.org.uk
Look forward to seeing you next week with a fresh episode to kick-off 2022.
CONTACT:
Website: alexholmes.co
Instagram: instagram.com/byalexholmes
Newsletter: alexholmes.substack.com
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