Folgen
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It's 11:00 PM. You sit up in bed with your chest tight and your heart going. Nothing happened. You went to sleep fine. You lie there trying to work out what's wrong with you, and the answer is nothing — except your body has been running a two-hour delayed reaction to a school email you read, closed, and forgot about at 9:02 PM.
What We CoverThe 9:02 PM email, the 11:00 PM panic, and why the two never show up in the same room at the same timeWhy a neurotypical mum who gets the same email feels it right then — and what that looks like when Jane asks one about it directlyThe five stages your body moves through between the trigger and the moment you finally register it — and how long you can spend in each one without knowingWhy the quiet moment you've been waiting for all day is exactly when the queue decides it's your turnThe misdiagnosis cost: when a doctor treats the reaction as the whole story, what gets written on your medical file — and what keeps walking through the door every day unmanagedWhy both can be true — the SSRI doing real work, and an interoceptive delay nobody's ever named for you
Free ResourcesEnergy Accounting Guide — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/
Related EpisodesStart with the rest of this series:
MUM RAGE #1: 3 Reasons It Feels Like It Came Out of Nowhere. (It Didn't.) — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/3-reasons-adhd-mum-rage-feels-like-it-came-out-of-nowhere-it-didnt/
MUM RAGE #2: 3 Reasons 'Just Breathe' Has Never Worked for ADHD Mums. (And What Actually Does.) — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/mum-rage-2/
Also from the archive:
S2 EP84 — I Love My Family But I'm So F*cking Angry: Mum Rage Part 1 (with Jacinta Thomson) — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-84-i-love-my-family-but-im-so-fking-angry-mum-rage-part-1/
EP71 — When You Can't Relax Even When It's Quiet — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/why-adhd-mums-cant-relax/
EP93 — When You Remove the Stress — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/when-you-remove-the-stress-and-start-wondering-whats-wrong-with-you/
S3 — I'm Gentle With My Daughter for Ten Minutes. Then I Tell Myself to Stop Being Such a F*cking Embarrassment. — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/im-gentle-with-my-daughter-for-ten-minutes-then-i-tell-myself-to-stop-being-such-a-fcking-embarrassment/
EP81 — The Hidden Cost of Being the 'Good Girl' — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/the-hidden-cost-of-being-the-good-girl-how-the-mental-load-became-ours/
📬 Listener Questions & Community
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Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313
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👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
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References & Further ReadingSeli, P., Risko, E. F., Smilek, D., & Schacter, D. L. (2016). Mind-wandering with and without intention. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 20(8), 605–617. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2016.05.010
Smallwood, J., & Schooler, J. W. (2015). The science of mind wandering: Empirically navigating the stream of consciousness. Annual Review of Psychology, 66, 487–518. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010814-015331
Murphy, J., Brewer, R., Catmur, C., & Bird, G. (2017). Interoception and psychopathology: A developmental neuroscience perspective. Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience, 23, 45–56. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.dcn.2016.12.006
Taylor, G. J., Bagby, R. M., & Parker, J. D. A. (1997). Disorders of affect regulation: Alexithymia in medical and psychiatric illness. Cambridge University Press. https://doi.org/10.1017/CBO9780511526831
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📬 Listener Questions & Community
It's 5:45 PM. I'm cooking three separate dinners on not enough burners. My six-year-old is crying about the green spoon. My eight-year-old is in a Minecraft cave with a dog that needs a bone. My ten-year-old has found paint.
'Find a good stopping place' is good advice.
It just assumes conditions that don't exist in this house.
What We Cover
The 5:45 PM scenario in full — three kids, three meals, three headphones, zero spare burners, and what it actually costs to transition one child off a screen while managing the restCompliance depletion — why your child has run out of yeses by dinner time, and why that's not defiance or addictionSelf-determination theory and autonomy — why the iPad might be the only thing your child got to choose all day, and what happens when you take itWhy 'find a good stopping place' works on Saturday morning and collapses on Wednesday night — and what's actually different between those two momentsThe working memory piece — why your child isn't defying the boundary, they just can't hold it without you standing thereTask-switching costs for the ADHD brain — what every transition actually costs you at the end of the dayWhy you're not managing the transitions. You are the transition.The Saturday morning benchmark — why one good morning doesn't set the standard, and why comparing Wednesday night to it is destroying youWhat the parenting advice doesn't account for: one adult, multiple kids, depleted executive function, and no supportFree Resources
Surviving the Mental Load of the School Year (Free)
👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-school-year-mental-load-kit/
Household Family Meeting Template (Free)
👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-household-family-meeting-template/
Paid Resource
Meltdown & Shutdown Guide for Mums & Children
👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/product/navigating-meltdowns-strategies-for-parents/
Related Episodes
When a Neuroscientist Says iPads Cause ADHD — And You Wonder if You've Damaged Your Kids | Listen hereS3 EP44 — Why Bad Behaviour Is Rarely Bad at All (and How to Respond Instead) | Listen hereS3 EP12 — Quick Reset: I Can't Stop Snapping When My Child Does This One Thing | Listen hereS2 EP84 — I Love My Family… But I'm So F**king Angry (Mum Rage Part 1) | Listen hereS2 EP27 — Quick Tip: I Have an Antagonist in My House | Listen here🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313
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👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
References
Arnsten, A. F. T., & Li, B.-M. (2005). Neurobiology of executive functions: Catecholamine influences on prefrontal cortical functions. Biological Psychiatry, 57(11), 1377–1384. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2004.08.019
Arnsten, A. F. T. (2011). Catecholamine influences on dorsolateral prefrontal cortical networks. Biological Psychiatry, 69(12), e89–e99. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2011.01.027
Barkley, R. A. (1997). Behavioral inhibition, sustained attention, and executive functions: Constructing a unifying theory of ADHD. Psychological Bulletin, 121(1), 65–94. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.121.1.65
Baumeister, R. F., Bratslavsky, E., Muraven, M., & Tice, D. M. (1998). Ego depletion: Is the active self a limited resource? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74(5), 1252–1265. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.74.5.1252
Hagger, M. S., Chatzisarantis, N. L. D., Alberts, H., Anggono, C. O., Batailler, C., Birt, A. R., Brand, R., Brandt, M. J., Brewer, G., Bruyneel, S., Calvillo, D. P., Campbell, W. K., Cannon, P. R., Carlucci, M., Carruth, N. P., Cheung, T., Crowell, A., De Ridder, D. T. D., Dewitte, S., . . . Zwienenberg, M. (2016). A multilab preregistered replication of the ego-depletion effect. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 11(4), 546–573. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691616652873
Herwig, U., Bräuer, K., Connemann, B., Spitzer, M., & Jakobs, O. (2018). Selective impairment of attentional set shifting in adults with ADHD. BMC Psychiatry, 18, Article 334. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-018-1912-5
Monsell, S. (2003). Task switching. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 7(3), 134–140. https://doi.org/10.1016/S1364-6613(03)00028-7
Rubinstein, J. S., Meyer, D. E., & Evans, J. E. (2001). Executive control of cognitive processes in task switching. Journal of Experimental Psychology: Human Perception and Performance, 27(4), 763–797. https://doi.org/10.1037/0096-1523.27.4.763
Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68
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Fehlende Folgen?
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A psychologist told me to do a body scan. I was lying on hard yellow grass in 38-degree heat with three kids screaming inside and ants on my arms, trying to feel my body. I felt nothing. Or I felt everything and couldn't name any of it.
She concluded the problem was me.
It wasn't.
What We Cover
Why 'just breathe' and body scans keep failing ADHD mums — and why that failure isn't yoursThe difference between early and late emotional intervention, and why the tools you've been given are timed wrong for your brainWhat alexithymia and interoceptive gaps actually mean when you're trying to regulate — and why you can't feel the water warming until the lid's already blownWhy some of us start every single day with near-boiling water, and what that does to a nervous system that's been running like that for yearsThe scheduled check-in — not a mindfulness practice, just a moment to know where you are before the day makes that impossibleWhat to say to your partner when they ask if you're okay and you genuinely don't knowThe James Gross emotional regulation model — 40 years of research — and what it says about the moment you're being told to interveneWhat's coming next episode: delayed mum rage, the lid that blows after the stove's already off, and why 11pm panic isn't coming from nowhereFree Resources
Energy Accounting Guide — mentioned in the episode. Helps you see your actual baseline and where the energy is going before you hit empty.
👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/
ADHD Physical Health & Emotional Wellbeing Kit (Free)
👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-physical-health-emotional-wellbeing-kit/
Related Episodes
S2 EP84 — I Love My Family… But I'm So F**king Angry (Mum Rage Part 1)S2 EP85 — Real Tools for Real Rage (Mum Rage Part 2) S3 EP52 — When HRT Isn't Enough: Mum Rage & Perimenopause ExplainedReferences
Edel, M.-A., Rudel, A., Hubert, C., Scheele, D., Brüne, M., Juckel, G., & Assion, H.-J. (2010). Alexithymia, emotion processing and social anxiety in adults with ADHD. European Journal of Medical Research, 15(9), 403–409. https://doi.org/10.1186/2047-783X-15-9-403
Fischer, D., Messner, M., & Pollatos, O. (2017). Improvement of interoceptive processes after an 8-week body scan intervention. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 11, 452. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2017.00452
Gross, J. J. (2015). Emotion regulation: Current status and future prospects. Psychological Inquiry, 26(1), 1–26. https://doi.org/10.1080/1047840X.2014.940781
Quadt, L., Garfinkel, S. N., Mulcahy, J. S., Larsson, D. E. O., Silva, M., Jones, A.-M., Strauss, C., & Critchley, H. D. (2021). Interoceptive training to target anxiety in autistic adults (ADIE): A single-center, superiority randomized controlled trial. EClinicalMedicine, 39, 101042. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.eclinm.2021.101042
Shaw, P., Stringaris, A., Nigg, J., & Leibenluft, E. (2014). Emotion dysregulation in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. American Journal of Psychiatry, 171(3), 276–293. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.2013.13070966
Webb, T. L., Miles, E., & Sheeran, P. (2012). Dealing with feeling: A meta-analysis of the effectiveness of strategies derived from the process model of emotion regulation. Psychological Bulletin, 138(4), 775–808. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0027600
📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313
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👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
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The principal told you to contact region. Region told you to contact the principal. You're sitting in your car wondering if you're going quietly insane. You're not — and neither is the principal. The system is built to do exactly this, to everyone inside it. Sara Hocking is back to map a way out, and the news isn't what you think.
What We Cover
The one subject line that forces an official response — and why most schools have been waiting for someone to send itThe institutional rule that makes principals back their staff publicly even when they're moving things behind the scenes — and how to read the quiet changesThe escalation pathway nobody hands you, and the exact point where 95% of parents tap outThe strategic reason to keep going past that point even when it feels pointlessWhy teachers aren't ignoring you — Sara's frame for what's actually happening in the staffroom, and what they're being asked to triage every dayThe paper-trail trick you can do in 30 seconds on your phone after every conversationWhy you arrive at every school meeting already at a ten, and what the other parents in the room don't realise about themselvesWhat restraint, expulsion and catchment actually mean — and the policy vacuum that hands one principal the call when there should be a system holding itStop waiting for an apology. Sara explains why it isn't coming from individuals, and what to watch for from the structure instead.Free Resources
School Complaint & Escalation Guide: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/
Quiet Exclusion Kit: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/quiet-exclusion-kit/
More from Sara
Sara Hocking runs See Beyond — neuroaffirming, nervous-system-informed resources for parents and schools, including free printables you can send straight to your child's teacher: https://seebeyondau.org/
Paid Resources
Making School Work — Parent Guide: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/
School Burnout — When School Can't Cope: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-school-burnout-when-school-cant-cope/
Related Episodes
Sara's Part 1 — When You Stay Calm at School and Leave Feeling Like You Didn't Do Enough — Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6LrYWX3eDU3LeoC12kMw4A?si=5OwOPF0oQcGjiXhwzL69zQ | Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/adhd-mums/id1686843092?i=1000753099488S3 EP8: Advocating for Your Child Shouldn't Break You — But It Often Does — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-8-quick-reset-advocating-for-your-child-shouldnt-break-you-but-it-often-does/S3 EP7: The Great Gaslighting — When Schools Say 'We Don't See It' — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-7-school-series-the-great-gaslighting-when-schools-say-we-dont-see-it/S3 EP9: When the IEP Meeting Feels Like a Battle You Didn't Ask For — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-9-when-the-iep-meeting-feels-like-a-battle-you-didnt-ask-for/S3: When School Decides Your Child Is the Problem — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/when-school-decides-your-child-is-the-problem/S3: Is the Problem the Child — Or the Learning Plan? — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/is-the-problem-the-child-or-the-learning-plan/📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313
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👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
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A friend came over the other day. She'd just done a week on the Sunshine Coast with her three kids, the whole pack-up by herself. We were sitting at my kitchen table doing that thing where you're laughing and crying at the same time. She couldn't get her kids to put the bins out because they were glued to their iPads. I said yep, same. The deeper problem isn't just the iPad. It's that someone pulled every single support structure out from under us, handed us a screen, and then put the guilt on top.
What We Cover
The Sunshine Coast kitchen table moment — the bins, the iPads, the laughing-cryingThe Christmas holidays Minecraft trap — how the rules got relaxed in December and what's still happening in MayThree things that have completely changed about parenting in the last 40 years that nobody updated us onWhy mums in 1990 weren't negotiating screen time — and what they had for free that we just don'tThe anticipatory regulation load — why parenting an ADHD child is three jobs stacked on top of each other, not oneThe dopamine input the world used to supply — and what happens when you take the iPad without replacing itWhy every screen time recommendation contradicts every other one, and the researchers fight each other publiclyWe are the first generation parenting through this. There is no generational wisdom on iPads. Nobody knows the right amount. Not the paediatricians, not your mother-in-law, not the friend down the road.Free Resources
Surviving the Mental Load of the School Year: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-school-year-mental-load-kit/
Household Family Meeting Template: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-household-family-meeting-template/
Related Episodes
S3 EP12 QUICK RESET: I Can't Stop Snapping When My Child Does This One Thing — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-12-quick-reset-i-cant-stop-snapping-when-my-child-does-this-one-thing/S3: When a Neuroscientist Says iPads Cause ADHD — And You Wonder if You've Damaged Your Kids — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/when-a-neuroscientist-says-ipads-cause-adhd-and-you-wonder-if-youve-damaged-your-kids/S2 EP22: Is It ADHD or Motherhood? — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-22-is-it-adhd-or-motherhood-solo-episode/S3 EP22 QUICK RESET: Why Self-Care Feels Like Another F*cking Task — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-22-quick-reset-why-self-care-feels-like-another-fcking-task/S3 EP45 QUICK RESET: The Biggest Lie Parents Believe During School Holidays — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-45-quick-reset-the-biggest-lie-parents-believe-during-school-holidays-this-is-what-everyone-does/References & Further Reading
Parent–child interaction load in ADHD households: Barkley, R. A., Anastopoulos, A. D., Guevremont, D. C., & Fletcher, K. E. (1992). Adolescents with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: Mother–adolescent interactions, family beliefs and conflicts, and maternal psychopathology. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 20(3), 263–288. https://doi.org/10.1007/BF00916692The collapse of unsupervised childhood: Skenazy, L. (2021). Free-Range Kids: How Parents and Teachers Can Let Go and Let Grow (2nd ed.). Jossey-Bass. Movement: https://letgrow.orgThe case that screens are driving a youth mental health crisis: Haidt, J. (2024). The Anxious Generation. Penguin Press.The case that the panic is overblown: Etchells, P. (2024). Unlocked: The Real Science of Screen Time. Piatkus. (Named alongside Haidt because the two contradict each other — which is the point.)No strong causal evidence that screens cause ADHD: Levelink, B., et al. (2021). Association between recreational screen time and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. JAMA Pediatrics. Via: https://www.adhdevidence.org/blog/pair-of-large-u-s-cohort-studies-find-little-to-no-evidence-of-association-between-child-and-adolescent-adhd-and-digital-media-screen-timeInsufficient evidence for hard screen-time limits (2019 guidance): Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health. (2019). The health impacts of screen time: A guide for clinicians and parents. (Note: this guidance was withdrawn in February 2024 — the position above is as of their 2019 publication.)📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
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Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313
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I picked up the kids in my husband's car the other day. The youngest said something. The next one waited until they finished, then said something back. There was a pause. I turned around and looked at three kids not even fighting and thought, is this how pickup goes? In my car, it's on the second they get in. Someone's interrupting, someone's yelling, I'm turning the music up to drown them out, ready to throw myself onto the driveway while it's moving. Same kids. Same school. Different mum.
What We Cover
The hubby-car pickup vs my-car pickup — same kids, same school, completely different rideWhat happens to your nervous system when you're already at a rolling boil before the kids even get in the carInteroception — why the signals your body's been sending all afternoon don't land in real time for an ADHD brainAlexithymia — the clinical inability to name a feeling in the moment, and the 42–51% of ADHD adults living inside itWhy mum rage feels like it came out of nowhere when it didn't, and why 'try harder, breathe more, be more like other mums at pickup' was never the answerThe dinner-time cheese moment — the fan, the dog, the kid in the shower, the TV, the iPad — and why it was never about the cheeseWho actually benefits when the rage gets called your temperament instead of your load — and why the lavender oil keeps not workingPart 1 of 2 — what's happening underneath. Part 2 is what to do about it.Related Episodes
S2 EP84: Mum Rage Part 1 (Jacinta Thomson) — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-84-i-love-my-family-but-im-so-fking-angry-mum-rage-part-1/S2 EP85: Mum Rage Part 2 — Real Tools for Real Rage — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-85-real-tools-for-real-rage-mum-rage-part-2real-tools-for-real-rage-mum-rage-part-2/EP52 HORMONES: When HRT Isn't Enough — Mum Rage & Perimenopause Explained (Dr Sunita Chelva) — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-52-hormones-when-hrt-isnt-enough-mum-rage-perimenopause-explained/EP82: Overstimulated Before 7am (Rachel Few) — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/rachel-few/EP12 QUICK RESET: I Can't Stop Snapping When My Child Does This — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-12-quick-reset-i-cant-stop-snapping-when-my-child-does-this-one-thing/S3: I'm Gentle With My Daughter for Ten Minutes, Then I Tell Myself to Stop Being Such a F*cking Embarrassment — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/im-gentle-with-my-daughter-for-ten-minutes-then-i-tell-myself-to-stop-being-such-a-fcking-embarrassment/References:
Bruton, M., Hall, S. S., & Pollock, M. (2025). Diminished interoceptive accuracy in attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: A systematic review. Psychophysiology, 62(2), e14750. https://doi.org/10.1111/psyp.14750
Edel, M.-A., Rudel, A., Hubert, C., Scheele, D., Brüne, M., Juckel, G., & Assion, H.-J. (2010). Alexithymia, emotion processing and social anxiety in adults with ADHD. European Journal of Medical Research, 15(9), 403–409. — Found 22% of ADHD adults met TAS-20 cutoff (≥61).
Donfrancesco, R., Di Trani, M., Gregori, P., Auguanno, G., Melegari, M. G., Zaninotto, S., & Luby, J. (2013). Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder and alexithymia: A pilot study. ADHD Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorders, 5(4), 361–367.
📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313
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👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
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You're at the dinner table you fought to make happen. Your phone lights up — school app, swimming's been moved, the bag has to be packed tonight. You know in your bones that if you don't write it down right now, it's gone by morning. You pick up your phone. Your kid says, you said no phones at dinner, I'm getting my iPad then. The parenting advice has told you you've just damaged everyone. The research says you've just used the exact tool your brain needs.
What We Cover
The dinner table, the school app, the swimming change, the kid line — and the impossible decision in the middle of itWhy 'phones down at dinner' advice was written for a woman who doesn't need the adviceCognitive offloading — the research-backed reason your phone is your external hard drive, not your hobbyThe 11:40pm password reset window — the unpaid admin job nobody sees, and the morning question from your kid (why were you up so late?) you can't answerThe co-regulation gap — what happens when the advice assumes a regulated parent and a regulated child, and neither one is in your house at 5pmThe flip — your daughter isn't watching you on a phone. She's watching you teach her how to externalise her working memory before her brain needs to do it too.Why the most important thing she sees you do is recover from being overwhelmed, not put down a deviceRelated Episodes
EP49 QUICK RESET: I'm Not Lazy — My House Doesn't Have a Memory — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-49-quick-reset-im-not-lazy-my-house-just-doesnt-have-a-memory/S3: When a Neuroscientist Says iPads Cause ADHD — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/when-a-neuroscientist-says-ipads-cause-adhd-and-you-wonder-if-youve-damaged-your-kids/EP80: The Invisible Coordination Load — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/the-invisible-coordination-load-why-adhd-mums-carry-the-work-systems-wont/S3: I'm Gentle With My Daughter for Ten Minutes, Then I Tell Myself to Stop Being Such a F*cking Embarrassment — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/im-gentle-with-my-daughter-for-ten-minutes-then-i-tell-myself-to-stop-being-such-a-fcking-embarrassment/EP71: When You Can't Relax Even When It's Quiet — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/why-adhd-mums-cant-relax/📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313
Send a SMS voice or written on 0403 457 313
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
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https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
References
Risko, E. F., & Gilbert, S. J. (2016). Cognitive offloading. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 20(9), 676–688. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2016.07.002
Alderson, R. M., Kasper, L. J., Hudec, K. L., & Patros, C. H. G. (2013). Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and working memory in adults: A meta-analytic review. Neuropsychology, 27(3), 287–302. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0032371
Feldman, R. (2007). Parent–infant synchrony and the construction of shared timing; physiological precursors, developmental outcomes, and risk conditions. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 48(3–4), 329–354. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1469-7610.2006.01701.x
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Listener Question Episode: Bec drops the kids at school, the kitchen's a mess, and she can't let herself eat breakfast until it's clean. Loads the washing on too — wouldn't want to waste time. She finally sits down at 11am. She's wondering if it's an ADHD thing or if she's just weird. She's not weird. She's been trying the wrong strategy on the wrong problem for years.
What We Cover
Bec's voicemail, the kitchen, the load of washing on while she eats, 11am breakfastWhy "you deserve rest, mama" advice slides right off — and why feeling worse after reading it isn't a personal failureThe four different drivers underneath one behaviour — same cry on the surface, completely different things going on insideA four-question audio quiz to figure out which one is the loudest in youWhy every behaviour you're stuck in is meeting a need — and you can't change it until you know which oneWhy my dad and my 80-year-old grandma chainsawing down a tree while telling each other to sit down haunts me — and why I'm watching my daughter start to do it tooThe advice isn't wrong. It's just for the wrong problem.Free Resources
Facebook Group — come tell me and join the fun: https://facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
Energy Accounting Guide — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/
Breaking Free from Unhealthy Habits Kit — for the loops you can't seem to break: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/breaking-unhealthy-habits-adhd-mums-kit/
Paid Resource
ADHD Reset Workbook — Values, Energy & Planning: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-planner-and-values/
Related Episodes
S3 EP35: You Were the Good Girl. That's Why You're Falling Apart Now — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-35-you-were-the-good-girl-thats-why-youre-falling-apart-now/EP49 QUICK RESET: I'm Not Lazy, My House Doesn't Have a Memory — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-49-quick-reset-im-not-lazy-my-house-just-doesnt-have-a-memory/EP71: When You Can't Relax Even When It's Quiet — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/why-adhd-mums-cant-relax/S3 EP59: The Red Pen Christmas — Stop Editing Yourself for Everyone Else — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-59-stop-editing-yourself-red-pen-christmas/EP72: You're Not Behind — You Learned to Carry Responsibility Too Early — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/youre-not-behind-you-learned-to-carry-responsibility-too-earlyEP81: The Hidden Cost of Being the 'Good Girl' — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/the-hidden-cost-of-being-the-good-girl-how-the-mental-load-became-ours/EP80: The Invisible Coordination Load — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/the-invisible-coordination-load-why-adhd-mums-carry-the-work-systems-wont/EP93: When You Remove the Stress and Start Wondering What's Wrong With You — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/when-you-remove-the-stress-and-start-wondering-whats-wrong-with-you/EP53 QUICK RESET: Self-Care Feels Nice. Self-Regulation Keeps You Alive — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-53-quick-reset-self-care-feels-nice-self-regulation-keeps-you-alive/📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
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Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313
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👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
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References
Volkow et al. — Deficits in the brain's reward system in ADHD. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/09/090908193432.htm
Furukawa et al. — Abnormal striatal BOLD responses to reward anticipation and reward delivery in ADHD. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3935853/
Aarts et al. — Reward modulation of cognitive function in adult ADHD: the role of striatal dopamine. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25485641/
Panagiotidi et al. — Altered somatosensory processing in adult ADHD. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC11323665/
Neurodivergent Insights — Sensory Overload in ADHD (cites Miller et al. 2017). https://neurodivergentinsights.com/sensory-overload-in-adhd/
Attachment Project — Unrelenting Standards / Hypercriticalness Schema. https://www.attachmentproject.com/early-maladaptive-schemas/unrealiting-standards/
Bay Area CBT Center — Unpacking the Unrelenting Standards Schema. https://bayareacbtcenter.com/unpacking-the-unrelenting-standards-schema/
IFS Institute — Internal Family Systems Model Outline. https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/internal-family-systems-model-outline
Positive Psychology — Internal Family Systems Therapy: 8 Worksheets and Exercises. https://positivepsychology.com/internal-family-systems-therapy/
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The cafe moment. A waiter. Six seconds of blank silence. I've ordered for everyone in my life for 40 years and when someone asked what I wanted, there was nobody home. Season 4 starts here. This isn't a self-help season. It's not a divorce season. It's the work nobody warned us about — what happens after the diagnosis, when the operating system fails and you don't know who you are without it.
What We Cover
The cafe, the menu, the bacon and eggs my husband always orders — and the six seconds I'll never forgetWhy I can connect every menu item to what my kids or husband would eat, but not to what I wantThe dopamine system that drives preference — and what happens after 30, 40 years of overriding itWhat I'm doing for my 40th: nothing, because I don't knowWho you become when you're at service to everyone — partners, kids, in-laws, WhatsApp groups, work, the can-you-just emailsWhy "operating system" is the only word that fits — and why my daughter is starting to run it tooWhy the diagnosis doesn't just add a chapter. It rewrites the whole book.The pushback — the first quiet no, the partners who pretend not to notice, the friends who stop calling, the "you've changed"Why the mask isn't a costume anymore — for some of us, it's the whole identity, and everyone we love is calibrated to itThe five-stage renovation — the cost, the recognition, the pushback, the collision, the repairWhy I'm stuck in stage three and don't pretend otherwiseWhat's coming in Season 4: Dr Sunita Chelva returning, a miniseries on the pushback, what happens in the body when the operating system can't run anymoreWhy I'm done waiting — for the politicians, the clinicians, the right medication, the right specialist, the right strategyThe shredding (not the gym kind — the bearded dragon kind)I'm not your guide. I'm the woman next to you at school pickup going, this is fucked, how do you feel?Related Episodes
S3 EP50: HORMONES — When Hormones Hijack the Mind: ADHD, Perimenopause & Emotional Burnout (Dr Sunita Chelva) — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-50-hormones-when-hormones-hijack-the-mind-adhd-perimenopause-emotional-burnout/S3 EP52: HORMONES — When HRT Isn't Enough: Mum Rage & Perimenopause Explained — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-52-hormones-when-hrt-isnt-enough-mum-rage-perimenopause-explained/📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
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Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
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✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
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👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
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The birthday of ADHD Mums came and went and I didn't celebrate. I'd spent a whole season demanding a seat at the table. By the end of it I was in bed, couldn't walk, getting diagnosed with perimenopause mid-record, and a friend asked me one question that broke the whole thing open. Supportive of what?
What We Cover
The launch episode promise — "no more explaining, just strategy" — and why I delivered it and still feel like I liedTwo lipedema operations, four months unable to walk, demanding a seat at the table from a hospital bedThe cooked roast chicken after the C-section, and what I now call that "badge of honour"Crying mid-record with Dr Sunita Chelva and getting diagnosed with perimenopause to my faceReading the DSM at 15, walking into my parents' room, and being told to sweep it under the rugWhy I gave up on the NDIS politicians — Mark Butler, the budget line, the room with no lived experienceThe premiers and health ministers messaging me now to re-announce nothingThe friend who said 'Supportive of what?' and broke the whole season openWhat it costs to be the high-functioning ADHD woman who could do it allWhy the strategy episodes were never the ones that landed — the identity episodes wereThe scheduled five-minute breakdown in the car, the wipe, the smileA million downloads, and what you've been doing for me without knowing itI'm not your guide. I'm the woman next to you in the car park.Related Episodes
S3 EP50: HORMONES — When Hormones Hijack the Mind: ADHD, Perimenopause & Emotional Burnout — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-50-hormones-when-hormones-hijack-the-mind-adhd-perimenopause-emotional-burnout/S3 EP52: HORMONES — When HRT Isn't Enough: Mum Rage & Perimenopause Explained — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-52-hormones-when-hrt-isnt-enough-mum-rage-perimenopause-explained/S3 EP35: You Were the Good Girl. That's Why You're Falling Apart Now — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-35-you-were-the-good-girl-thats-why-youre-falling-apart-now/S3: Overstimulated Before 7am (Rachel Few) — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/rachel-few/S3 EP4: The Advanced ADHD + Neurodivergence Myths.. Busted — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-4-the-advanced-adhd-neurodivergence-myths-busted/📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
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Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
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👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
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Sorry I'm late. I have ADHD. So does my friend. She's sitting at the coffee shop halfway through her first one, watching me sweat through the door twenty minutes late. Same diagnosis. Different morning. Different brain doing the work behind it.
What We Cover
The vein surgery saga — three appointments, three completely different outcomes, same brainThe receptionist who handed me the appointment card like a library card and the one who didn'tWhy "set more alarms, leave earlier" is the equivalent of telling someone with low blood sugar to just have more energyThe four types of ADHD time blindness — petrol gauge stuck on full, the car that won't start, the GPS that lies, the seatbelt warning that's lateWhy your strategies haven't worked — because they were built for someone else's typeWhat actually works for each one — visual time, body doubling, departure rituals, calibration with a stopwatch, manufactured deadlinesWhy "I left heaps of time" keeps being true and untrue at the same timeThe 40-50% rule — adults with ADHD underestimate task time by half. Double it. Then add buffer.Why the friend at the coffee shop at five to nine isn't more disciplined — she's borrowing structure from her environmentWhat collapses on school holidays, sick days, working from home, and what that tells you about which strategies are actually holding you upThe estrogen/dopamine link — why the same brain at 32 isn't the same brain at 42Free Resource
Energy Accounting Guide — for the dopamine/load piece: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/
Free Resources Library:
https://adhdmums.com.au/product-category/free-resources/
Paid Resource
ADHD Reset Workbook — Values, Energy & Planning: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-planner-and-values/
Related Episodes
S3 EP24: QUICK RESET — The ADHD Myth of 'Just Try Harder' — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-24-quick-reset-the-adhd-myth-of-just-try-harder/S3 EP50: HORMONES — When Hormones Hijack the Mind: ADHD, Perimenopause & Emotional Burnout — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-50-hormones-when-hormones-hijack-the-mind-adhd-perimenopause-emotional-burnout/S2 EP67: Why Routines Always Seem to Fail for ADHD Families — and How to Fix Them — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-67-why-routines-always-seem-to-fail-for-adhd-families-and-how-to-fix-them/S3 EP49: QUICK RESET — "I'm Not Lazy — My House Just Doesn't Have a Memory" — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-49-quick-reset-im-not-lazy-my-house-just-doesnt-have-a-memory/📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
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✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
REFERENCES
Barkley, R.A. (1997). ADHD and the nature of self-control. Guilford Press.
Noreika, V., Falter, C.M., & Rubia, K. (2013). Timing deficits in ADHD. Neuropsychologia, 51(2), 235–266.
Willcutt, E.G., et al. (2005). Validity of the executive function theory of ADHD. Biological Psychiatry, 57(11), 1336–1346.
Graybiel, A.M. (2008). Habits, rituals, and the evaluative brain. Annual Review of Neuroscience, 31, 359–387.
Toplak, M.E., Dockstader, C., & Tannock, R. (2006). Temporal information processing in ADHD. Journal of Neuroscience Methods, 151(1), 15–29.
Ptacek, R., et al. (2019). Clinical implications of the perception of time in ADHD. Medical Science Monitor, 25, 3918–3924.
Sonuga-Barke, E.J.S. (2002). Psychological heterogeneity in AD/HD — a dual pathway model. Behavioural Brain Research, 130(1–2), 29–36.
Jacobs, E., & D'Esposito, M. (2011). Estrogen shapes dopamine-dependent cognitive processes. Journal of Neuroscience, 31(14), 5286–5293.
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You take your child to the doctor. You tell them this isn't fussy, this isn't a phase. They tell you he'll grow out of it. Maybe it's his tonsils. Maybe you're anxious. Maybe your boundaries aren't strong enough. You leave the appointment knowing something isn't right, and starting to wonder if the something is you.
What We Cover
Why ARFID gets missed for years while professionals chase tonsils, grommets, and dental workWhat happens when every silver bullet surgery makes zero difference and the grief that followsThe cruise ship that didn't work, the buffet that didn't work, the Woolworths smuggling run that came too lateRefeeding syndrome — when your malnourished child's body goes into shock from being fedThe PEG surgery, the six-week wait that should've been six months, and a five-year-old dancing in the lounge room for the first timeThe cognitive impact of three years of malnutrition and the guilt of not pushing harder, soonerWhy mum's intuition keeps being right while siloed specialists keep passing the buckThe mental load of cooking the same crepe, the same rice mound, the washed meatballs — every single dayWhat it costs to keep advocating when no one believes youMore About Tracy
Free Resource
Facebook Group — for parents in this loop who need other mums who get it: https://facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
External Support Tracy Mentions
Eating Disorders Families Australia (EDFA)Butterfly FoundationPaid Resource
The Meltdown & Shutdown Guide for Mums & Children
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/navigating-meltdowns-strategies-for-parents/
Episodes on ARFID & Tracy's last episode
S3 EP58: Things That Look Like Bad Parenting But Are Actually Neurodivergence (Tracy) — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-58-neurodivergence-and-parentingS2 EP81: You've Tried Everything… They Still Won't Eat: Real Strategies for ARFID at Home — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-81-youve-tried-everything-they-still-wont-eat-real-strategies-for-arfid-at-home/S3 EP46: ARFID, Eating Disorders & the Neurodivergent Body: What We Got Wrong (Marie Camin) — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-46-arfid-eating-disorders-the-neurodivergent-body-what-we-got-wrong/📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
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You can talk your daughter down in two minutes. Then you turn around and tell yourself to stop being such a f*cking embarrassment.
Same brain. Same mum. Two completely different voices within minutes.
🧠 What we cover in this episode:
Why you can co-regulate a child in two minutes and tear yourself apart for the rest of the dayThe "good girl" reflex and how we absorbed an inward voice between six and twenty-sixWhy co-regulation is a directional skill — and most ADHD mums have only built it pointing outwardWhy the inward channel isn't empty — it's full of RSD running threat assessment on youWhy "be kinder to yourself" has never worked (and isn't going to)Why gratitude journals, affirmations, "filling your cup," and "talk to yourself like your best friend" don't fix thisWhy softness towards yourself can feel like a threat to the structure holding everything togetherThe identity layer — being "the regulated one," the calm mum, the one who handles itThe one thing that actually works — and yes, you'll feel ridiculous doing it💭 This episode is for you if:
📥 Free Resource:
➡️ Energy Accounting Guide — for when you've worked out the cup isn't empty, it's got a hole in the bottom of it. A free guide to figure out where your energy is actually going. 👉 Download here
📓 Want to go deeper?
The ADHD Values & Planner is for when you realise being "the regulated one" has become an identity, not a choice — and you want to find your way back to what actually matters to you. 👉 Get the planner here
🎧 Related Episodes:
S1 EP9: An RSD Story — Taking My Own Advice 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/an-rsd-story-taking-my-own-advice-s1-ep9/S3 EP35: You Were the Good Girl. That's Why You're Falling Apart Now. 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-35-you-were-the-good-girl-thats-why-youre-falling-apart-now/S3 EP53: QUICK RESET: Self-Care Feels Nice. Self-Regulation Keeps You Alive. 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-53-quick-reset-self-care-feels-nice-self-regulation-keeps-you-alive/📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
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Sometimes the only thing that got you through the day was the iPad.
And then you scrolled past a clip telling you screens are rewiring your kid's brain. Causing ADHD. Making them socially broken. And your stomach dropped.
You weren't being lazy. You were trying to regulate yourself before you said something you'd regret.
But the guilt arrived anyway. Right on cue.
This week, Amanda Moses — senior psychologist, ADHD and autism assessor, the woman who actually trains other psychologists in this space — sits down to go through the Osher Günsberg clip line by line. The one with the neuroscientist claiming 'digital ADHD' is now the majority of cases. The one your mother-in-law sent you. The one that made you feel sick.
Amanda brings the receipts. None of them say what he said they said.
What We CoverThe 'digital ADHD' claim — and what the actual heritability research says (74-80%, by the way)Why your phone notification is not going to give you a heart attack, no matter how many amygdala fight-or-flight diagrams someone drawsThe 'still face' babies story — what the research actually shows about distractionWhy online connection counts — especially for autistic women, regional mums, and anyone who can't just 'turn up to playgroup'Why this kind of content hurts the women who can't afford a psych session and are already running on guilt
About Amanda:Check out Amanda's Management Strategies for ADHD.Check out Amanda's social media hereAmanda's References from this episode:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11472914/
https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0306910
https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2024.1441191/full
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00787-022-02130-3#Sec25
Check out Related Episodes
S2 EP82: ADHD or PTSD? Why So Many Women Are Misdiagnosed (Amanda Moses) https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-82-adhd-or-ptsd-why-so-many-women-are-misdiagnosed-with-amanda-moses/S3 EP34: Is It Social Anxiety — or Is It Autism (Amanda Moses) — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-34-is-it-social-anxiety-or-is-it-autism-with-amanda-moses/S3 EP4: The advanced ADHD + Neurodivergence Myths.. Busted — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-4-the-advanced-adhd-neurodivergence-myths-busted/📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
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Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
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There's a script around Mother's Day that doesn't account for any of us.
You're meant to want a candle, a coffee, a sleep-in, and to look visibly grateful at the end of it. If you can't name what you want, you're ungrateful. If you do name it, you have to manage it. If you stay quiet, you spend Sunday night cleaning up the wrapping paper from your own gifts.
This episode is the one underneath that script. The maths nobody's saying out loud. The reason your brain blanks. And one small thing to try this Sunday — not to fix the year, just to notice what the silence is actually doing.
This episode is for you ifHe asks what you want and your brain just stopsYou always say I don't mind, whatever's easy and then feel a bit hollow when Sunday's overYou've spent Mother's Days managing other people's mothers and have nothing left for your ownYou're a single mum and Sunday is just another Sunday, except this one's worseYou're grieving — your own mum, the version of motherhood you wanted, or bothYou've been telling yourself for years that you're just too sensitive
Related episodesS2 EP88: I Made the Lunches, Booked the Table, and Still Felt Invisible (Mother's Day)
S3 EP35: You Were the Good Girl. That's Why You're Falling Apart Now.
S3 EP18 Quick Reset: Why You're Bad at Asking for Help and What to Do Instead
📬 Listener Questions & Community
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Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
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Half the conversations about AI are men in San Francisco telling you it'll change everything. The other half are people telling you it'll destroy the planet and your children's future.
Neither of those people are doing the school run, the NDIS application, the lunchboxes, or holding it together at 9pm.
This episode is for the mum in the middle. The one who's curious but hesitant. The one who's already using it but feels weird about it. The one who tried it once, got a creepy answer, and shut the tab.
Leticia Andrack has worked in AI since 2014. She's autistic, ADHD, PDA, dyslexic, French, and a mum of two neurodivergent girls. She's not selling you anything. She's just telling you how to use the tool without it using you.
This episode is for you ifYou've used AI to write the email you couldn't face — and felt a bit guilty about itYou're worried about the data, the environment, your kids' futures, and you can't tell which fear is realYou've vented to ChatGPT and it agreed with you so hard you almost did something you'd regretYou don't know the difference between Claude, ChatGPT, Gemini, or which one to even openYou feel behind, and behind feels like another thing on the listYou're sick of being mansplained to about technology
RESOURCES & REFERENCESTo connect with Laetitia Andrac - check her out here Understanding Zoe platform - check it out here📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
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This podcast episode is not a replacement for individual medical advice and is general education only.
You go to the mother's group, you don't put the brake on the pram, and it rolls across the carpark.
Baby is fine. You are not.
You're already the mum who decided — quietly, without asking anyone — that you wouldn't take your ADHD meds while breastfeeding. Because that's what good mothers do.
This is the episode about what happens when 'just push through' stops being a plan.
What we cover
Why your prescriber freezes the second you say the word 'pregnant' and what to actually say backWhat the research actually says about traditional stimulants in pregnancy, and the gap between that and the kickback you've been gettingWhy pregnancy and breastfeeding aren't the same conversation, even though everyone keeps lumping them togetherThe Infant Risk Center, the resource your psychiatrist probably hasn't looked at that pharmacists rely onTrying to conceive, IVF, egg collection, and where ADHD meds actually sit in that timelineThe quiet self-sacrifice that tells you a thinking, regulated mother is somehow worse for the baby than an unmedicated, exhausted onePMS, perimenopause, antidepressants in the mix, and why ADHD is rarely just one medication, one decision, one answerMedication breaks, weekend breaks, and why being told to take them on the busiest days of your week isn't advice, it's a generic scriptIron, thyroid, glucose, constipation, and the unsexy stuff your wellness actually hinges on while you're carrying everyone else'sWhy this episode matters
There is a whole layer of women who stopped their meds the day they saw two lines on a test, never asked the question out loud, and have been white-knuckling it ever since. Not because the evidence said to. Because nobody safe was available to talk to. Rodney has spent thirty years being that person on the other end of the phone, and most mums have never been told he exists.
This episode is for you if
You stopped your meds the second you found out you were pregnant and never asked anyone if you had toYou've been told 'we don't know enough' so many times you've started saying it to yourselfYou're breastfeeding and Googling at 2am because no one in the room will give you a straight answerYou feel guilty for wanting to be medicated, focused, and present, like that's the selfish versionYou're trying to conceive and quietly terrified that staying on your meds makes you a bad mother before you've even startedYou're the one who'd rather suffer than risk it, and you've been suffering for a while nowRelated product
ADHD Medication Guide — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/a-guide-to-adhd-medication/
External links mentioned
Infant Risk Center — www.infantrisk.comJean Hailes — https://www.jeanhailes.org.au/Better Health Channel — https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
https://wa.me/61403457313
✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
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You've spent more time on drop-offs, pickups and meetings this week than your kid has spent actually learning.
You keep telling yourself the routine is good for them. They come home flat anyway.
You can see it isn't working. You just can't picture what else looks like.
So you stay on the fence. Another term. Another meeting. Another 11pm google.
What we cover
Why most homeschoolers in Australia didn't plan to homeschool — and what 'accidental homeschooling' actually meansThe two competing fears keeping you stuck — and which one usually wins in the endWhat 'enough is enough' really looks like (it's rarely one big moment — it's bankruptcy logic: slow, then very fast)What a homeschool day actually looks like when you're not running school-at-homeThe legal stuff schools won't tell you — you don't need their permissionWhy $50k a year still doesn't fix this, and what you might actually be paying forHow to take a term off without making a forever decisionWhy bullying gets reframed as 'resilience-building' at school but is illegal at workWhy this episode matters
The fence is the hardest place to live. Most parents sit there longer than the kid can afford. Rebecca has spoken to hundreds of families about why they finally jumped — and the answer isn't 'they were ready.' It's that the fear of staying finally outweighed the fear of leaving. This episode names the decision underneath the decision, and hands you a permission slip you probably didn't know existed.
This episode is for you if
You've tried two schools, maybe three, and nothing's stuckThe meetings have started to outnumber the actual learningYou keep saying 'maybe next term' and next term keeps not comingYou're more scared of Uncle Ned's questions at Christmas than you'd like to admitPart of you knows it isn't working, and part of you can't picture what else looks likeYou've already googled 'homeschooling Queensland' at 11pm and closed the tabFor more about Dr. Rebecca English
https://www.qut.edu.au/about/our-people/academic-profiles/r.english
Jane's Related Episodes
S1 EP63 — The Episode That Led Jane to Choose Homeschooling (Nicki Farrell, Wildlings) 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/63-episode-that-led-jane-to-choose-homeschooling/
S2 EP7 — Raising Strong Children: How to Support Without Always Solving Their Problems (Emma Rose Parsons, Spectrum House) 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-7-raising-strong-children-how-to-support-without-always-solving-their-problems/
S2 EP33 — Autistic Burnout: Self-Awareness Part 2 (Jane solo) 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-33-preventing-autistic-burnout-practical-tips-for-neurodivergent-mums-and-their-children/
S3 EP20 — SCHOOL SERIES: How to Choose a School That Won't Break Your Kid (or You) — Millie Carr https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-20-how-to-choose-a-school-that-wont-break-your-kid-or-you/
📬 Check out my Free Resources on Schools:
Choosing the Right School
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/the-school-choice-kit/
The School Complaint & Escalation Guide for Parents
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/
📬 Check out my Paid Resource on Schools:
When School Looks Fine But Isn’t Understanding Burnout, Masking & School Can’t
Making School Work: A Parent’s Guide to Neurodivergent Kids and the System
School Advocacy Hub of Resourceshttps://adhdmums.com.au/advocacy/
📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
https://wa.me/61403457313
✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
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If your child looks ‘fine’ at school… but falls apart the second they get home —
this episode is for you.
🧠 What We Cover in This Episode:
What masking really looks like in a classroom settingWhy ‘they’re fine at school’ can be deeply misleadingThe invisible work happening before the school day even startsWhy internalising kids are often missed entirelyWhat it costs to ‘look like you’re coping’ all dayWhy asking a child to self-advocate isn’t always realisticHow anxiety builds when expectations aren’t predictableThe difference between behaviour you can see… and effort you can’tWhy some kids nod, smile… and completely miss instructionsWhat actually reduces stress in the classroom (and what doesn’t)💭 This episode is for you if:
Your child holds it together at school but unravels at homeYou’ve been told ‘we’re not seeing that here’Your child doesn’t speak up when they’re strugglingYou can see the effort they’re putting in — even if others can’tyou’re trying to explain your child to the school and not being heardYou feel stuck between what you see… and what they report📬 Check out my Free Resources on Schools:
The School Complaint & Escalation Guide for Parents
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/
📬 Check out my Paid Resource on Schools:
When School Looks Fine But Isn’t Understanding Burnout, Masking & School Can’t
Making School Work: A Parent’s Guide to Neurodivergent Kids and the System
School Advocacy Hub of Resourceshttps://adhdmums.com.au/advocacy/
📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
https://wa.me/61403457313
✍️ Ask a Listener Question
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
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If you’ve ever sat in a school meeting
hearing what’s ‘expected’…
and thought
‘this feels like too much… too early’ —
this episode is for you.
Because sometimes it’s not subtle.
It’s that quiet moment where something doesn’t sit right…
but you’re told it’s normal.
In this episode, we unpack what’s really happening when school expectations keep creeping up — academically, behaviourally, socially — and why so many kids are being asked to meet standards that don’t actually match where they are.
💭 This episode is for you if:
– You’ve thought ‘this feels too much for their age’
– Your child is struggling, but you know they’re capable
– You’ve been told ‘this is just how school is now’
– Your child is falling behind quickly and can’t catch up
– You’re noticing stress, resistance, or shutdown around school
– You’re questioning whether the system is actually the issue
🎧 Related Episodes
When School Becomes the Trauma – School Series
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/s2-ep2-school-series-when-school-becomes-the-trauma-what-no-one-tells-adhd-parents/
Here’s the part most people don’t say out loud:
If it feels too big…
too fast…
too much…
that doesn’t automatically mean
your child is the problem.
Sometimes it means
the expectations have moved
and no one stopped
to check
who they were leaving behind.
For more about Dr. Rebecca English
https://www.qut.edu.au/about/our-people/academic-profiles/r.english
📬 Check out my Free Resources on Schools:
The School Choice Kit
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/the-school-choice-kit/
The School Complaint & Escalation Guide for Parents
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/
📬 Check out my Paid Resource on Schools:
Making School Work – Parent Guide ($20)
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/
School Advocacy Hub of Resourceshttps://adhdmums.com.au/advocacy/
📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
https://wa.me/61403457313
✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
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