Episodes

  • Team Bastard is winning the race, but losing the war.
    Turns out, leaving a spaceship full of stolen bioweapons in a parking lot after live streaming the theft to the whole galaxy was not the best plan. R.E.E.S.E. has sounded the alarm and called for help as mysterious interlopers kick down his door. Our racers face a tough call: how do you keep one foot in the race but steal your ride back at the same time? As usual, the answer is somewhere in between teamwork, theft, and trains.


    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠-

    Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected]

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!


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  • The dangers of the track chew into the racers like they’re free fried tentacles with extra sauce.


    Things are heating up in the second stretch, and the Bastards aren’t the even the only ones that brought explosives! Despite that, they manage to power through AND teach young Robin something about the virtues of family, while enjoying a trains-eye view. (You’ll get that joke later. Maybe.)

    Everything is looking pretty golden when they get a little call from R.E.E.S.E. on the walkie.

    He’s got company, and they left him unattended in the parking lot with a hull full of powdered bioweapon and a universe full of heat.

    Weird choice in hindsight.



    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Daniel Matthews

    Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected]

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!
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  • The flag drops, the crowd roars, and the Bastards are gunning it.
    Jordan is pulling, Trevor is driving (sort of), Cleo, Boris, and Robin are in the back doing something that smells like chemistry- and Ze is hanging off the back on a wheel and wreaking havoc.
    The race starts out behind a massive spiked train filled with secrets. There are wraiths on the track, three-legged synths, the musical stylings of Bad Snax, and a mess of rowing Terrans.
    But Bastards are a family with a mission, and they cannot lose. Not after everything they’ve been through, and certainly not in front of Robin!
    They have a weapon called The Doctor. They have a plan. They have.. Tomatoes.
    And when they round that first corner and a cart gets wrecked- it almost seems like that plan is working.. That those suspicious figures that fled through the stands were just another family of losers.. Just one less obstacle between them, the family fun lesson of a lifetime, and that shiny new spaceship spoiler..


    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Skia



    Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected]

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!






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  • The Bastards have Robin, and the whole dang universe is watching.

    They’re cruising around when a radio broadcast cuts through the noise: family fun racing, open entry, and first prize is a brand new ship plating kit with a genuine, certified, SPACE SPOILER.

    It’s BYOracecar, and you can’t leave the ground- so the Bastards head down into the belly of the R.E.E.S.E. to see what they can mod.

    They rip the roof off of Cleo’s red rover, plan some creative compartments for weapon crafting (because this is a zero plasma production! That means no blasters, no energy blades, no nothin’!), and of course, a plan for a very specific amount of tomatoes.

    Just Jordan the engine, a sprinkle of Bastard ingenuity, and a weapon called The Doctor hanging off the back.

    They’ve got a heading and a dream. Maybe they’ll teach Robin the meaning of family after all…



    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Skia




    Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected]

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!




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  • The Bastards make it to the black hole, ready to dispose of their universe-ending problem.

    Unfortunately, Robin got there first.

    Now bigger, weirder, and in control of a sentient armada, Robin has a plan- and it’s not exactly “leave the galaxy untouched.”

    It doesn’t take long for the crew to vote for violence; but Cleo would like to try a bigger weapon…

    Meanwhile, their location is blown, Biolife is calling (rude), and more ships are arriving by the second.

    With Robin on the brink of doing something truly irreversible, The Bastards have to make a call:

    do what they always do… or listen to Cleo.

    This has kind of worked before. Technically.



    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Skia


    Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected]

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • The big bad of scheduling hit us! After all this is still a game that is a podcast, even us heroes roll nat 1 on scheduling hehe. But so that ya have something here is an episode from behind the Patreon. Love you all and we will be back on time again asap.

    Black Hole Son wont ya come! . . .
    The crew is back and absolutely nobody is staying on topic. This episode: the Big Light gets the analysis it deserves, the definitive sexy foods tier list is finally settled, and an important debate about shower hydration concludes. Bodie joins the chaos. You're going to want to hear this one.


    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
    Yorp -- ⁠⁠Bodie⁠⁠


    Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected]

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!




    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • Fresh off their ill-advised shopping spree of apocalyptic powdered bioweapons, The Bastards are faced with the age-old question: now what?

    To help things along, Boris explains with the aid of a slideshow exactly how extinction-level their new cargo really is, and proposes the only ethical disposal method thinkable- tossing it into a primordial black hole from the dawn of creation.

    Half decided, the Bastards continue to explore possibilities. Some small on-the-road fumbles attract the worst kind of attention, inspiring Cleo to go live to the entire galaxy (they think?) to announce a few key details: “the Bastards are carrying universe-ending powder, it’s Biolife’s fault, and they’ve personally murdered her before and they’re coming for you next.”

    The Bastards gun it for the singularity while dodging other ships and calls, officially a new kind of target- when they finally reach the black hole, ready to dump the powder and save the universe just one more time…

    …but there’s just one problem.

    The black hole isn’t just a black hole.




    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Toolazytoaddspaces



    Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected]

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!






    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • The Bastards, the robbers, and their hitchhiking friend Yorp are trapped in the Big Momma Fishing shop. Fortunately they’ve taken the shopkeeper hostage and discover a mysterious powder, which diffuses the situation. (Not.)
    As negotiations unravel, Yorp calls in a favor from the strange vessel he’s been mumbling to, and a whole swarm of his friends arrive to smooth things over. (Sort of.)
    At the end of the day, all that really matters is that everybody ate, Cleo’s got clean pants, Yorp’s mission is intact, and The Bastards have a ship full of apocalyptic bioweapons and a renewed dream of a free MidSpace… For everyone.

    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
    Yorp -- ⁠Bodie⁠

    Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bodie⁠

    Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected]

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!




    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • Nobody likes shopping. But it’s worse when you’re in someone else’s body.
    On the run, low on supplies, and badly in need of a reset, the Bastards hit a station to shop. Cleo needs clothes. Everyone needs a break.
    Instead, they find subpar fishing merch, a hitchhiker, and a whole lot of eye contact from two shifty strangers. But hey! At least they made a new friend…

    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
    Yorp -- Bodie

    Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bodie

    Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected]

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!
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  • There has never been a time that the Bastards needed to go shopping more than today.
    Well, there may have been a few times- but this is a big one. Cleo has not come out of her room for days and days, and she has nothing to wear. She has been in the Ursine for so long.
    The whole ship is uneasy. There are villains at large. The galaxy is in flux, and there are a thousand loose threads.
    But today, we shop.


    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
    Vache de Mer --  ⁠⁠⁠⁠Fiona K.T. Howat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
    The Nine Blades -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠Hamilton⁠⁠⁠⁠
    Fronn -- Whiskey

    Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠KtuluRob

    Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected]

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!





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  • The fight is over.

    One by one our rescuers find each other again. Boris, Fron and Bortis leave a grim discovery behind them, while Vache and Nine Blades realize a new mission. At the last moment, Dr. Ze hears Cleo in the darkness.

    The whole party is back together, so many foes have been bested, and they have their heading…

    …but the damage has been done.





    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠
    Vache de Mer --  ⁠⁠⁠Fiona K.T. Howat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
    The Nine Blades -- ⁠⁠⁠Hamilton⁠⁠⁠
    Fronn -- Whiskey

    Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Skia



    Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected]

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠!
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  • When the going gets tough, the tough split the party. (…Right?)

    The hunt for Cleo continues, as the Cap/Bastard rescue squad spreads through the BioLife flagship like a handful of subpar nanites.
    Ze kicks us off by taking one for the universe by locking himself in with Robin to both protect the party, and gather intel. Together, they discover that Robin is not the only big fish in this pond.
    While Ze goes brain to brain with a fellow brain, Bortis, Boris, and Fron come together to form the Best Friends Force (BFF). Or is it Best Friend’s Friends? Either way, they’re in the vents and they’re fueled by the undeniable power of friendship, which might be the strongest bet we’ve got.
    Vache, Nine Blades and Margo on the other hand, go for a distraction maneuver, leaving them to stumble upon a certain high level manager all on their lonesome... All the while Cleo is fighting against the clock for her life. Move your big toe, damnit!


    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠
    Vache de Mer --  ⁠⁠Fiona K.T. Howat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
    The Nine Blades -- ⁠⁠Hamilton⁠⁠
    Fronn -- Whiskey

    Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Whiskey




    Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected]

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠!





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  • The plan is working, and our crew is aboard the BioLife ship, where wave after wave of guards welcome them. It's the fastest slow going you could hope for, while Boris, Trevor, Dr. Ze, The Nine Blades and Vache fight to clear the halls, and our Cleo fights to stay alive. Every BioLife lackey between the rescue team and Cleo is a bag of extracted blood, a few million nanites, a last minute stalling tactic.

    Regardless, our rescuers have boarded, and it's enough work to stay alive. There is no time to stop and consider the small pull at the edge of their minds... An eerie presence somewhere in the ship. There is something more dangerous than just soldiers here.



    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠
    Vache de Mer --  ⁠Fiona K.T. Howat⁠⁠⁠⁠
    The Nine Blades -- ⁠Hamilton⁠
    Fronn -- Whiskey

    Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Hamilton⁠



    Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by ⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected]

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠: ⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠!




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  • The Caps, The remaining Bastards, and… Margo’s BioLife escapee friends, are teaming up to bring back Cleo.

    Vache de Mer and The Nine Blades have been captured by BioLife almost more times than they can count. (They are after all, remnants of experiments failed.) Which is why they’re Margo’s ticket to stealthily finding the BioLife stronghold that’s holding Cleo. The plan is airtight. Set a trap, lay the bait, wait for capture- and send the whole dang team in to infiltrate. All we need is for the right interstellar space corporation to drive by. Sure hope the fish are bitin’.


    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠
    Vache de Mer --  Fiona K.T. Howat⁠
    The Nine Blades -- Hamilton
    Fronn -- Whiskey

    Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠Skia


    Ambiance sound support by ⁠Jamie Nord⁠ and ⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠White Bat Audio⁠

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by ⁠Realm⁠

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected]

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠Patreon⁠: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠

    ⁠Join our Discord⁠!




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  • Cleo and Robin almost made it.

    Together they saw the light at the end of the proverbial BioLife hallway. But of course, that was the plan. The scientists bring Robin into Cleo’s cell for one last chat, hoping to wring out the last of their secrets before they eke out the last of her nanites. There can’t be much left, now. Just about a seed’s worth, if anything at all.


    Season 4 is finally here after a big break, and we are bringing you in smooth! This is the second of a collection of short stories, meant to recap the events up to the opening of Season 4.


    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- ⁠⁠⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠



    Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Whiskey
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • After the battle at Garcia Station, many Synths accepted M8’s offer of Sanctuary.

    They heard the code, and they answered the call- not fully understanding what it might mean to be free. The idea itself was a reshaping. To help them along, M8 regales the Synths with tales and visions of Sanctuary, and the great possibility that awaits them all. But as they pull into view, they find that M8’s wondrous data does not quite match what they find there…

    Season 4 is finally here after a big break, and we are bringing you in smooth! This is the third of a collection of short stories, meant to recap the events up to the opening of Season 4.


    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠



    Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Whiskey
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • Back on Prospect Town, our old friend Parter has picked up three rather pompous officers.

    They’re loud, they’re crass, and they’re bragging in the backseat about destroying the local restaurant "Stu's" (home of “The Everything”!), and discussing their top secret mission to retrieve an "immortal Ursine" from BioLife. They might want to be careful about who they talk around though- because loose lips sink ships, even in space…


    Season 4 is finally here after a big break, and we are bringing you in smooth! This is the third of a collection of short stories, meant to recap the events up to the opening of Season 4.



    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- ⁠⁠⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠



    Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Whiskey
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • While the Bastards and The Caps are busy planning their rescue mission, Margo is busy hunting down her own backup plan.

    Deep in the jungle on a desolate planet, Margo is tracking down the perpetually-captured duo known as "Nine Blades", (despite having only eight visible), and his precognitive partner Vache de Mer. With their “help”, Margo hatches a scheme to infiltrate BioLife and save Cleo. Her plan? Use Vache and Nine Blades’ unique talent for getting themselves captured by BioLife, as the ultimate Trojan Horse operation. By hiding the Bastard/Cap crew in their stolen BioLife ship and letting themselves get "caught" for the third time, they can infiltrate the facility from the inside and give BioLife "the spicy tickles" they deserve. It's a plan so crazy, it just might work…


    Season 4 is finally here after a big break, and we are bringing you in smooth! This is the second of a collection of short stories, meant to recap the events up to the opening of Season 4.


    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- ⁠⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠


    Vache de Mare -- Fiona K. T. Howat

    9Blades -- Hamilton



    Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠Whiskey
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  • The gang's all here! Well, all but one. After being scattered across the galaxy, The Bastards finally reunite on the dusty Backwater planet of Daius to prepare for a Cleo rescue- wherever she may be. They meet up with some of Cleo’s old crew, obey to hear their tales about mysterious black nanobots and a BioLife capture! Between Boris's newfound assertiveness, Trevor's questionable ship repairs, and Ze's Ze-ness, the Bastards must team up with Cleo's other best friends- the charming Bortis and Fron- to organize a junkyard full of "good stuff" into a rescue mission. It’s the Bastards against the world once again. The gang is coming Cleo, just hold on.

    Season 4 is finally here after a big break, and we are bringing you in smooth! This is the first of a collection of short stories, meant to recap the events up to the opening of Season 4.



    Starring:

    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠

    Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠

    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠

    Fron -- Whiskey



    Episode art by ⁠Skia



    Ambiance sound support by ⁠Jamie Nord⁠ and ⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠

    Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠White Bat Audio⁠

    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

    Distributed by ⁠Realm⁠

    -

    Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected]

    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠Patreon⁠: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠

    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠

    ⁠Join our Discord⁠!
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • Trevor has returned and has brought news of Cleo, but she needs help. So now Ze and Boris must race to finish their business on Garcia station to get to her aid. But just one thing, that business is an intergalactic war.
    Starring:
    DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
    Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
    Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews

    Episode art by @georginalesaux

    Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi
    Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio
    Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews
    Distributed by Realm
    -
    Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected]
    Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards
    If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com
    Join our Discord!
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices