Episodes
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Episode 169
I've been quiet for the past month without an announced break. In this shorter episode I share with you the reason for my silence as well as an update about what's happening in the podcast.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Links to my recent Holy Week written sharings (mentioned in this episode):
To My Fellow Complex Trauma Survivors Who Struggle with Holy Week
A Good Friday Confession (I Don't Feel Anything)
Before You Ask Catholics to âCome Homeâ this Easter
Easter Hope for the Spiritually TraumatisedSupport the show
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Newsletter:
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Leave a Review:
If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here. -
Episode 168
In this re-sharing of a Season 10 episode, I explore why deconstruction is a necessary part of healing from complex trauma â especially for people of faith.
I define deconstruction as questioning assumptions we've never questioned before and opening up to new possibilities. I share three zones where I've experienced this:
1. Self-Identity â Differentiating between the survival "Role Self" I built to be accepted and my true "Core Self" that had been buried.
2. Familial & Cultural Values â Recognising how traditions and values handed down through my family facilitated harm and kept me silent.
3. Faith â Wrestling with the growing gap between who God revealed Himself to be in my healing journey and the God of my religious upbringing.
I also discuss why healing requires more than religious or doctrinal belief â it demands a deep, existential trust that we are held by a love greater than ourselves.
I close with reflection questions to help you identify where deconstruction may be showing up in your own journey. You don't need answers â just acknowledging the questions is powerful.Watch this recording on YouTube.
CHAPTER MARKERS
0:00 Introduction
4:08 Defining Deconstruction
5:53 Defining Deconstruction
10:11 3 Zones of Deconstruction
12:07 1. Self-Identity Deconstruction
18:43 2. Familial and Cultural Values Deconstruction
24:07 3. Faith and Religious Deconstruction
39:01 Existential Faith vs Religious or Doctrinal Assent
46:34 Questions for Pondering and ConclusionSupport the show
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If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here. -
Episodes manquant?
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Episode 167
In this episode, I'm exploring deconstruction through the lens of differentiation and individuationâtwo psychological concepts that have profoundly shaped my faith journey.
For years, I related to Catholicism the way I related to my family of originâwith enmeshment, not healthy boundaries. I believed that closeness meant having no division, that love meant disappearing into the other. I carried this into my relationship with God, believing I had to disappear into Him rather than becoming fully myself.
In this episode, I talk about:
What differentiation and individuation mean in the context of faithHow enmeshment in family systems mirrors enmeshment with the ChurchWhy questioning and discernment are essential to mature faithThe difference between mystical oneness and emotionally healthy individuationLearning to trust my own desires instead of fearing themHow healing from trauma is itself an act of differentiationWatch this recording on YouTube.
RESOURCE
James Finley, The Healing Path: A Memoir and an Invitation
CHAPTER MARKERS
0:00 Why do some lose faith in God and some do not?
1:32 The Commenter's Argument
3:31 Deconstruction Beyond Intellect
8:13 James Finley's Story
14:01 Spiritual But Not Religious
17:42 When Personal Encounters Make God Real Beyond Doubt
21:32 Conflicting Imprints of God in the Nervous System
25:49 When Faith Depends on Constructs
41:30 Beyond the Visible Church
42:30 The Apophatic TraditionSupport the show
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Leave a Review:
If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here. -
Episode 166
In this bonus mini-episode, I share what it's like to taste the fruit of a nine year long interior integration and healing process of my family of origin complex trauma. I describe in concrete terms what this feels like in my body and in the impact I see it has on the rest of my family. I hope this encourages those who are similar healing journeys!
Watch on YouTube here.
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If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here. -
Episode 165
Have you ever wondered why some people deconstruct not only their religion but also their entire faith in God, while others deconstruct aspects of organised religion yet retain a relationship with the divine or even with the Christian God?
In this episode, I explore the distinction between deconstructing our notions of God and deconstructing the institutional aspects of faith like Christianity or Catholicism. Drawing from personal experience, I discuss how our individual deconstruction journeys unfold differently based on the depth of our personal encounters with God versus what we've been taught through religious tradition.
In this episode I discuss
âą The difference between deconstructing religion vs. deconstructing God
âą How personal mystical experiences shape our faith journey
âą How conflicting imprints about God in our nervous systems can create an insecure, âdisorganisedâ or confused attachment with God
âą Understanding "spiritual but not religious" in the context of deconstruction
âą The apophatic (mystical) tradition in ChristianityWatch this recording on YouTube.
RESOURCE
James Finley, The Healing Path: A Memoir and an Invitation
CHAPTER MARKERS
0:00 Why do some lose faith in God and some do not?
1:32 The Commenter's Argument
3:31 Deconstruction Beyond Intellect
8:13 James Finley's Story
14:01 Spiritual But Not Religious
17:42 When Personal Encounters Make God Real Beyond Doubt
21:32 Conflicting Imprints of God in the Nervous System
25:49 When Faith Depends on Constructs
41:30 Beyond the Visible Church
42:30 The Apophatic TraditionSupport the show
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Social Media:
Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.
Newsletter:
Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.
Support the Show:
Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)
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Leave a Review:
If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here. -
Episode 164
In this episode, I talk about how moral injury can be connected to or trigger deconstruction. This is a topic that has been deeply significant in my own journey of interior integration and healing.
Moral injury is the damage done to one's conscience or moral compass when we perpetrate, witness, or fail to prevent acts that transgress our own moral beliefs and values. Originally studied in war veterans, this concept has helped me understand the trauma I've experienced in relation to the Catholic Church and spiritual harm.
I share how moral injury doesn't just happen when we're directly involved in something wrongâit can occur when we're spectators to injustice, when institutions we trust betray their stated values, or when spiritual leaders remain silent in the face of harm. I also explore how we often defend ourselves against moral injury through rationalisation, and how the journey of interior integration requires us to become more embodied and truthful about reality.
This episode is deeply personal as I reflect on my own experiences of deconstructionânot as a total loss of faith, but as a necessary dismantling of religious frameworks that could no longer hold the truth I was encountering in my relationship with God.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
CHAPTER MARKERS
0:00 Introduction: Moral Injury and Deconstruction
2:41 What is Moral Injury?
3:26 Origins in War Veterans Studies
5:13 Moral Injury as Spectators
7:45 Current Events and Personal Experience
10:57 Betrayal by Spiritual Leaders
22:54 Cognitive Dissonance and Defense Mechanisms
31:23 Interior Integration Journey
33:42 Naming Harm in Family Relationships
42:39 Becoming Embodied and Seeing Truth
46:09 Deconstructing the Church
51:25 Relationship with God Through DeconstructionSupport the show
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If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here. -
Episode 163
In this episode, I dive into one of the most challenging aspects of deconstruction: trying to explain it to others who haven't experienced it themselves.
I respond to a thoughtful question from a follower about how to remain committed to the church while being honest about its limitations during deconstruction. But as I share, this question itself reveals the gap between those observing deconstruction from the outside and those living through it.
What I explore in this episode:
Why deconstruction can't be fully understood from an intellectual or conceptual level aloneHow trauma plays a central role in the deconstruction processWhy it's impossible to "hold onto the good" while deconstructingâand why that's okayThe difference between critiquing the church and actually deconstructing your faithWhy deconstruction feels like drowning, like having your entire container of faith fall apartHow my own journey with family trauma mirrors my faith deconstructionDeconstruction is disorganised, chaotic, and impossible to neatly explain even to ourselves. If you're going through this process, I hope you feel seen. If you're trying to understand someone who is, I hope this gives you compassion for how difficult it is to put into words.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
CHAPTER MARKERS
0:00 Introduction
6:22 Unpacking a Follower's Question
11:21 Reading the Question
16:25 Deconstructing the Container, Not Just the Content
18:18 Seeing the Harm in Church Structures
37:22 You Can't Hold On While Letting Go
45:13 My Family of Origin Story
55:39 God Wants Freedom for Us
57:47 External Critique vs. Interior Journey
1:02:00 Closing ThoughtsSupport the show
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If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here. -
Episode 162
Welcome to my first episode of 2026! After a six-week break, I'm returning with greater clarity and readiness to share about a topic I've been living through: deconstruction.
In this episode, I'm opening up about my personal journey through deconstructionânot as an outside observer, but as someone who has walked (and is still walking) this difficult path.
What I Cover:
âą Why lived experience matters when discussing deconstructionâand why resources from those who haven't gone through it often fall short
âą The crucial connection between deconstruction and trauma that's often missing from conversations
âą Why deconstruction is an embodied, multidimensional experience that can't be reduced to intellectual analysis alone
âą The mystical dimension of deconstruction and what it means to leap into the abyss with no guarantees
âą How deconstruction relates to spiritual midlife and the transition into the second half of life
âą Why I had to be willing to let go of everythingâeven my identity as a "good Catholic"âto follow where Christ was leading
This is the beginning of a season exploring deconstruction from multiple angles. I'll be addressing questions listeners send me and diving into the many facets of this complex, painful, and ultimately transformative journey.
If you're going through deconstruction yourself, I hope this offers you some companionship and validation. If you're trying to understand what someone you love is experiencing, I hope this gives you insight into the depth and sacredness of this process.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
CHAPTER MARKERS
0:00 - Introduction: Why Now?
9:37 - The Importance of Lived Experience
21:01 - Deconstruction and Trauma
29:42 - Trauma-Informed Lens to Reactions Towards Deconstruction
38:01 - The Integrative Lens
44:24 - The Mystical Dimension
51:57 - No Guarantee in Deconstruction
56:45 - The Second Half of Life
1:01:25 - Closing ThoughtsSupport the show
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If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here. -
Episode 161
What if the reason spiritual abuse is so rampant yet unrecognised in the Church is because these kind of dynamics have always been part of the way the Church existed in the world?
In this deeply personal episode, I talk about my journey awakening to and grappling with the legacy of spiritual abuse and trauma within the Catholic Church. I share the story of how I was led in my interior journey into deconstructing my old Self, the way I related to my family of origin and eventually my understanding of and relationship with my Catholic faith. I share how learning to recognise trauma, harm and abuse led me to wrestle with the integrity of what I believed and how that faith is embodied in the world.
This reflection offers an honest, bold and nuanced discussion on the complex interplay between faith and coercion in the 2,000 years of the history of the Church and how that impacts the way we live our faith out today. How can we as Church continue to undergo conversion from the legacy of coercion and spiritual abuse that has made up such a huge part of our intergenerational, collective and systemic trauma within the Catholic Church? Join me in this thought-provoking sharing!
Watch this recording on YouTube.
CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction and Personal Journey
01:14 Deconstructing Faith and Identity
03:52 Family of Origin and Trauma
09:10 Anger and Frustration with the Church
14:43 Historical Context of Church Coercion
19:21 Reconciling Faith and Church Authority
22:58 The Role of Conscience in Faith
24:15 Spiritual Abuse and Church Culture
46:03 Hope and Transformation in the Church
51:29 ConclusionSupport the show
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Episode 160
We know weâre called to holiness, that weâre called to be saints. But have we really grappled with what holiness means? With what becoming saints really mean? In my latest podcast episode I share how I have come to ask these questions in much more earnest after learning about how even canonised saints commit great harm to people, and how some of these harmful actions are even considered by many as part of holiness.
I dive into the concepts of sainthood and holiness, especially in light of personal experiences with trauma and spiritual abuse. Reflecting on the stories of saints like Padre Pio and Mother Teresa, I explore how their actions and the narratives surrounding them can impact our understanding of holiness. I encourage viewers to question and reconsider what it means to be holy, particularly from the perspective of embodied spiritual and emotional health.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.RESOURCES
The Turning: The Sisters Who Left
âThe Turningâ: The dark side of Mother Teresaâs order, according to nuns who leftCHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction
00:30 Spiritual Abuse and Its Prevalence
02:07 Saints and Holiness: Personal Experiences
02:53 Padre Pio: Reverence and Controversy
11:41 Questioning Holiness and Spiritual Abuse
23:02 Mother Teresa: A Complex Legacy
33:56 Holiness, Love, and Abuse
44:24 Final Thoughts and EncouragementSupport the show
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If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here. -
Episode 159
In today's episode, we explore the intersection of enmeshment trauma and spiritual abuse. If you're new to the concept, enmeshment trauma occurs in families that are too close to the point where individual boundaries and self-identity are compromised. This episode delves into the signs and impacts of enmeshment trauma, such as poor boundaries, lack of self-identity, feeling overly responsible for others and constant seeking of approval.
I also discuss how these dynamics can lead to spiritual abuse within both families and faith communities, particularly through the misuse of authority and abuse of conscience. Offering insights and personal experiences, this episode aims to help you recognise and heal from these harmful patterns especially when they are cloaked in beautiful and âholyâ language such as âaccountabilityâ and âfraternal correctionâ.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.RESOURCES
Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing (Book)
Holy Hurt (Podcast)
Understanding Enmeshment Trauma
Enmeshment in Family: Breaking Free from Unhealthy Closeness
CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction
00:11 Understanding Enmeshment Trauma
02:33 Healthy Intimacy vs. Enmeshment
05:27 Spiritual and Religious Trauma
09:56 What is Enmeshment Trauma?
13:01 Personal Experiences and Cultural Context
13:47 Signs of Enmeshment Trauma
19:09 Impact of Enmeshment Trauma
25:54 Enmeshment in Faith Communities
32:19 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsSupport the show
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If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here. -
Episode 158
In this episode, I continue the discussion on spiritual abuse by focusing on Abuse of Conscience. I share my personal journey of discovering this subtle yet pervasive form of abuse, how it affected my life, and my path to recognising my own role in it.
I discuss how my own spiritual trauma and distorted image of God fuelled my participation in this form of spiritual abuse and share how experiencing God's unconditional love has been crucial in my healing process both as a survivor and perpetrator of abuse of conscience.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.RESOURCES
What is Abuse of Conscience? (Podcast by Paul Fahey)
Abuse of Conscience (Presentation by Paul Fahey, Q&A with Fr Boniface Hicks)
Respecting Conscience in Catholicism (Paul Fahey with Amy Grey)
Conscience Invaders
The Place Where You Stand Is Holy Ground: Recognizing and Preventing Spiritual Abuse in the Catholic Church
CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction
01:23 Resources on Abuse of Conscience
05:50 The Challenge of Accepting Abuse
08:47 Conscience in Catholic Teaching
14:01 Freedom and Consent in Moral Actions
17:41 About Mortal Sin
24:35 Personal Stories of Conscience Abuse
32:08 The Impact of Fear on Faith
42:13 Healing and Repenting from Abuse of Conscience
49:05 Final Thoughts and Invitation to ReflectSupport the show
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If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here. -
Episode 157
In this episode, I build on my last episodeâs discussion of how culture, disembodied faith, and trauma contribute to an environment conducive to spiritual abuse. I delve into the responsible use of power and influence, sharing personal insights and experiences.
I discuss how, even with good intentions, we can unintentionally harm others by imposing ourselves and violating the sacred freedom of another personâs conscience that even God respects. I offer tips for exercising influence in a non-coercive and respectful manner, emphasising the importance of honouring each person's freedom and dignity.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction
05:36 Personal Influence and Power Dynamics
09:54 Why So Hard to Recognise Spiritual Abuse
20:20 Tips for Respecting Others' Freedom
35:14 Conclusion and ReflectionSupport the show
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Episode 156
In this episode, I delve into three factors that facilitate spiritual abuse, especially within the experience of many Catholics. Reflecting on a personal experience during a silent retreat, I explore how complex trauma, disembodied faith, and cultural influences create environments where spiritual abuse can easily occur.
I share insights on recognising these dynamics and discuss the importance of becoming trauma-informed to foster authentic spiritual maturity and embodied faith. This conversation aims to support individuals on their journey of healing and integration, helping them understand the systemic and personal elements contributing to spiritual abuse.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction
06:02 Three Factors in the Set-Up for Spiritual Abuse
11:25 Cultural Influences on Spirituality
14:20 Silent Retreat Experience
25:48 Understanding Spiritual Maturity
28:05 The Role of Dreams in Spiritual Direction
28:57 Unknowingly Primed for Spiritual Abuse
31:30 Complex Trauma and Authority
36:25 Disembodied Faith
43:21 Recognising and Addressing Spiritual Abuse
49:43 Final Reflections and Encouragement
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If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here. -
Episode 155
In this episode, Paul Fahey joins me in a pivotal conversation about spiritual abuse within the context of evangelisation and church communities. We share our journey from years of traditional evangelisation to a deeper understanding of the Great Commandments and how they relate to the Great Commission. We examine the importance of truly loving others as Christ loves us and how our distorted images of God can impact our relationships and evangelisation efforts.
We address the often-overlooked emotional and psychological abuses by those in spiritual authority and discuss what a healthy use of authority should look like. We also delve into the critical role of personal integrity and humility for those in spiritual leadership. This episode offers crucial insights into the ways we can foster a more loving and respectful approach to faith, evangelisation and discipleship.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
RESOURCESPaul Fahey's Spiritual Abuse Workshop (Fall 2025)
Read Paul's excellent reflection: "One cannot proclaim God in a way contrary to God himself: Spiritual Abuse and Evangelisation"Sherry Weddellâs book Forming Intentional Disciples: The Path to Knowing and Following Jesus
Catechesi Tradendae
Dignitatis Humanae
Pope Francisâ address to the Indigenous Peoples and Members of the Parish Community Sacred Heart
CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction
03:29 Spiritual Abuse in Evangelisation
05:52 Introducing Paul Fahey
09:43 Personal Experiences and Reflections
14:18 The Role of Trust in Evangelisation
25:29 Coercion in Evangelisation
30:48 Subtle Forms of Coercion
44:45 Preferential Option for the Institution
50:26 Defining the End of Evangelisation
53:16 The Importance of Dignity and Freedom
55:23 Evangelisation vs. Proselytism
56:52 Intellectual Conversion vs. True Discipleship
58:15 Lack of Self-Awareness in Evangelisation
01:01:25 Corporate and Individual Responsibility
01:04:33 Historical Context of Church Authority
01:18:35 Healthy Use of Spiritual Authority
01:24:07 E
Support the show
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If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here. -
Episode 154
As I round off Season 10 of the Becoming Me podcast, hereâs an overview of how my content has evolved together with the progression of my interior journey and some updates to address inquiries about my coaching offers. As I take a break from the podcast to recalibrate, I invite you to explore past episodes and continue engaging with my content on my other platforms. God bless and happy becoming!
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS00:00 Introduction and Season 10 Wrap-Up
00:30 The Journey of Becoming Me
02:10 Exploring Trauma and Spiritual Abuse
05:13 Developmental Stages and Personal Growth
08:23 Challenges and Evolution in Coaching
10:01 The Quest for Self-Understanding
15:07 Integrating New Learnings
18:38 Conclusion and Future PlansSupport the show
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If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here. -
Episode 153
In this special episode about being securely loved by God the Father, I sit down with Isaac Wicker, a Catholic licensed therapist from Minnesota with a decade of mental health experience and host of the 'Whole Human' podcast. Isaac shares his unique upbringing in a deeply Catholic family in the Communion and Liberation Catholic movement, his transformative experiences, and his innovative 12-week program, 'Known: embraced by the Heart of the Father,' which integrates psychology and Catholic faith.
This conversation is an invitation to explore the security and ease that come from being securely loved by God the Father. I see myself and Isaac as representing two very different kinds of paths towards a secure attachment with God the Father - Isaac was blessed with the experience of secure attachment in childhood while I had to learn to have an âearned secure attachmentâ from deep healing and integration.
May this episode bring hope to listeners who struggle to feel safe with God the Father, even as it provides a glimpse of the freedom that being securely loved by the Father brings.
Isaacâs website | Known: Embraced by the Heart of the Father
Isaacâs Podcast | Whole Human
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS[00:00] Introduction and Overview
[01:21] Meet the Guest: Isaac Wicker
[07:32] The Importance of Big Questions
[18:17] Isaac's Childhood Memories and Family Dynamics
[30:25] The Importance of Secure Attachment in Repentance
[38:37] Embodying Faith Organically as a Therapist
[51:31] Focusing on Loving vs Fixing Someone
[58:32] The Journey of Becoming
[01:00:14] Operating Outside the Boxes of Psychology and Religion
[01:14:38] The Known Program: Healing with God the Father
[01:22:50] The Importance of Showing Up and Being Honest
[01:31:40] Conclusion and Final Thoughts
REFLECTION PROMPT
What has been your relationship with failure and repentance? Do you tend to move toward sorrow and repair, or get caught in shame? Where do you think that pattern comes from?
If you could sit with God the Father today, what would you say or ask, with no pressure to have it together?Support the show
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If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here. -
Episode 152
In this deeply personal episode, I explore the impact of Pope Francis' recent passing, especially how he became a bridge of trust during my period of intense interior deconstruction. Over the past decade, I've grappled with my Catholic faith, my relationship with the church, and undergone a profound journey of inner healing.
I share how Pope Francisâ actions and witness offered me a path through complex trauma and relational betrayals, both familial and institutional. This episode is dedicated to my fellow trauma survivors who struggle with their faith, relationships, and especially with the institutional Church.
RELATED LINKS:
Pope says he is 'deeply sorry' to Indigenous Peoples in CanadaPope Francis did the right thing when others would not, says residential school survivorWhy Pope Francis may be hesitant to rescind the Doctrine of DiscoveryPope Francisâ Address to the Indigenous Peoples: First Nations, MĂ©tis and IntuitJoint Statement of the Dicasteries for Culture and Education and for Promoting Integral Human Development on the âDoctrine of Discoveryâ, 30.03.2023
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
[00:00] Introduction
[00:48] Personal Struggles and Deconstruction
[02:28] Pope Francis' Impact
[05:30] Journey of Healing and Integration
[07:50] Struggles with the Church
[09:58] Uncomfortable with Pope Francis 2013-2015
[13:38] Not In Touch with My Exiled Parts
[18:45] Awakening to Dysfunction and Abuse
[29:16] Trauma and Betrayal in the Church
[36:05] Father Wound Re-triggered
[38:06] Compassion in Secular Spaces
[40:41] Pandemic Retreat Experience with Gabor Maté
[42:09] Indigenous Trauma and Residential Schools
[44:58] Seeking Apology from the Pope
[48:57] Personal Reflections on Fatherhood and Healing
[58:38] Pope Francis' Apology to the Indigenous People of Canada
[01:03:55] Repudiating the "Doctrine of Discovery"
[01:09:16] A Church That Doesn't Repair
[01:13:37] Hope for the Church
[01:18:28] Conclusion
REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you ever found yourself reevaluating something you once felt certain about? What helped you feel safe enough to explore those thoughts?Support the show
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Leave a Review:
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Episode 151 (Bonus)
In this special bonus episode for Holy Week, I share a deeply personal and vulnerable story about my journey through spiritual trauma and healing. Last year, I wrote an open letter on my personal blog, disclosing the challenges I've faced and continue to face as a complex trauma survivor within the Catholic faith.
From experiencing physical symptoms of distress during Mass to grappling with deeply ingrained religious guilt, I invite you to witness my journey towards understanding, acceptance, and integration. I hope my story resonates with others who struggle with similar feelings during Holy Week, providing language, comfort, and a sense of solidarity.
Additionally, I offer practical suggestions for seeking support, emphasizing the importance of trauma-informed care within spiritual and therapeutic frameworks. God meets us exactly where we are, and this episode is an invitation to take that first step towards healing.
Read My Blogposts:
To My Fellow Complex Trauma Survivors Who Struggle with Holy Week
A Good Friday Confession (I Donât Feel Anything)
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction
02:21 A Vulnerable Self-Disclosure
07:41 The Letter Begins
13:55 Waking Up to Anger and My Body Saying "No"
16:49 Trauma Mingled with Faith
19:42 Dying (To Ego) Into Authentic Love
21:27 Entering Christ's Wounds Through My Wounds
23:12 Why Holy Week Can Be Re-traumatising for Trauma Surviors
26:00 Letting God Love Me Through Self-Love
28:30 New Trauma-Informed Wine Skins Needed
29:54 What Can Trauma Survivors Do To Support Ourselves?
33:13 Final Thoughts
36:02 ConclusionSupport the show
SUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORT
Social Media:
Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.
Newsletter:
Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.
Support the Show:
Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)
One-time Donation
Leave a Review:
If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here. -
Episode 150
In this heartfelt conversation, I sit down with Paul Fahey, a limited licensed professional counselor, retreat leader, and catechist from Michigan, USA. Paul shares insights from his work in pastoral counseling for Catholics who have been spiritually abused and his efforts to educate ministers to be more equipped in their ministry. We delve into the complex nature of spiritual and religious trauma, the importance of language in healing from trauma, and the profound teachings of the Catholic Church on human dignity.
Through personal stories and shared experiences, we explore the critical theme of dignity, how trauma affects our understanding of love and self-worth, and the necessity of creating safe spaces within or away from the Church for healing and authentic connection.
This episode offers a rich and thought-provoking discussion on how we can reclaim our dignity and experience God's chaste, non-controlling love in the midst of a fallen world.
Dignitatis HumanaePatris CordeFratelli Tutti
Visit Paul Faheyâs website here.
Documents quoted by Paul:Read my newsletter post Lament, Hope & Healing: Resources on Spiritual Abuse.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction to Paul Fahey
01:12 Discussing Trauma and Spiritual Abuse
05:53 Exploring Human Dignity in Church Teachings
10:32 Understanding Spiritual Authority and Coercion
35:51 Chastity and Non-Possessive Love
47:33 Healing from Spiritual Coercion
53:45 Struggling with Faith and Depression
56:14 Journey Out of Depression
58:29 Role of a Catechist and Therapist
59:50 The Importance of Experiencing Non-controlling Love
01:01:40 Experiencing God's Reverence
01:04:00 The Concept of Theosis
01:11:51 Challenges in the Church
01:15:44 Accompanying Ourselves in Healing
01:32:03 Forgiveness Demands Justice for the Victim
01:37:22 Wrestling with the Lack of Safety in Church
01:42:24 Reality is Greater than Ideas
01:44:35 Final Thoughts and Gratitude
REFLECTION PROMPT
How have I experienced coerciSupport the show
SUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORT
Social Media:
Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.
Newsletter:
Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.
Support the Show:
Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)
One-time Donation
Leave a Review:
If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here. - Montre plus
