Episodes
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The latest episode of the podcast which asks; Emu versus Bernie Clifton’s ostrich – who wins in a fight?
This episode is practically a scientific experiment, Pop-Crazed Youngsters; Al’s been wondering what the optimum age is to reap the full benefit of our Thursday Evening Fizzy Pop treat, and wonders if – like what people say about World Cups – it’s the ones nearest to our 10th birthdays.
Consequently, because he’s a selfish bastard, this episode is a few months away from his own seventh-life crisis, which rather taints the experiment as it’s in 1978. one of the greatest years for Pop ever; that glorious period where the fallout of Punk is still drifting down, the music biz has no idea what The Kids actually want, and the door has been kicked open for the most glorious mutations to shamble about the charts.
Kid Jensen – waiting to find out if he’ll be elected the Pontiff of Radio One next week – is at the controls, after spending a day being locked out of his own dressing room, and he guides us through a classic episode. Tom Robinson – denied the opportunity to lay some Gay on the youth – opts for some Kink-shaming. Kate Bush makes her debut, as she picks through the moors with the crushing weight of the TOTP Orchestra on her back. Darts refrain from diving into ornate fountains and wringing their socks out on the youth. Legs & Co finally get full ramp access. The Sexy Lions of Disco prowl the wasteland of Hollywood. Elkie Brooks and Billy Joel give us a taste of the Berni Inn, before we get one last suck of The Sweet. Howard Devoto puts the shits up the kiddies, Abba roar back, and we get to see the cameras being put away as Little Rabbit Arse has sex with a head on legs.
Simon Price and David Stubbs join Al Needham for a glorious romp through the murk of ‘78, veering off on such tangents as who has the nicest bum in Europe, local pornography stashes, Simon Bates’ perm, an extract from Steve Priest’s autobiography, the Bradford Gay Liberation Front, and Keith Moon’s spend-up at a Hammersmith grot shop. DON’T GO CHANGING, POP-CRAZED YOUNGSTERS!
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Simon Price, David Stubbs and Al Needham finish off a classic episode of TOTP by strutting through New York with a paint pot in hand, being delighted to learn that Sweep is a Punk Rocker now, contemplating the Agnetharse, and being repulsed at the thought of Rod Stewart doing it with a head on legs. BRING YOUR MOTHER TOO, POP-CRAZED YOUNGSTERS!
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Episodes manquant?
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David Stubbs, Simon Price and Al Needham plunge the critical fist even deeper into this episode of TOTP, and the big names keep coming. Darts begin their biggest year by not doing The Wank! Legs & Co are finally granted full ramp access to one of the greatest tunes ever! Billy Joel gets a sweat on! The Sweet are back! And Elkie Brooks And All Her Looks show poor Kate how to ignore the snot-nosed urchins and put a single over to the nation!
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Simon Price, David Stubbs and Al Needham begin their odyssey through this episode of The Pops, and what a opening! We get a blast of a tune none of us have heard before, followed by Tom Robinson not being allowed to self-admit his Gayness upon the nation, and then we get the British television debut of Kate Bush, trying to beguile the surly youth of Albion as the TOTP Orchestra demonstrate they’re more than a red-hot Reggae band...
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The return of the podcast that gets it’s hand right down the back of the settee of an episode of Top Of The Pops. Al Needham has a theory that, like World Cups, the TOTPs nearest to your tenth birthday are the sweetest, which is an excuse for him, David Stubbs and Simon Price to burrow into early ‘78. But before that, a leaf through that week’s NME, a look at what else was on telly, Any Other Business, and an argument about Emu…
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The latest episode of the podcast which asks; Tango or Telstar?
Yes, it’s that time of the year, Pop-Crazed Youngsters – we decide to do a Christmas episode, and then Christmas happens and gets in the way of everything, the bastard. Luckily, this episode – from Boxing Day – comes from a time when they did the festivities properly and didn’t hang it out like we do, so there’s very little in the way of tinsel and fake snow and turkey carcasses (and yes, it is Boxing Day, they did things differently then, don’t @ us). It’s from 1971, the Year Zero of the post-Beatle world, where a void suddenly opens and is immediately filled with an array of Sixties sorts who never got a look-in before and are making their grab for the big brass ring of Pop stardom.
Tony Blackburn – the host of the Daily Mirror Hot Pants Ball himself – is at the controls in his belted-off cardie, and it’s safe to say that 1971 is his most Blackburny year ever. We take you through it, from the highs of debating the merits of wank mags with Lord Longford and having his own board game to the lows of having his photo ripped up by Bristol Prog bands and being stalked by the Heavy Music Brigade.
Musicwise, it’s a fascinating trawl through the post-Mopfab landscape. Marc Bolan assumes his dominance in front of a floor manager who looks well Bullet Baxter. The Tams look like John Inman if he supported FC Barcelona. Benny Hill airs the Xmas #1 again. Slade take one massive stomp for a band, one giant leap for Glamkind. Pans People get out of quarantine and flounce about for Liverpool Jesus. The Stones ensure that every wedding do of the next 15 years will feature Dads dancing to one of the most brutal songs ever. Eight Ace and the Paedophile Information Exchange Horns celebrate their one hit for the last time on telly. We get to witness Diana Ross’s Armchair Thriller. And John Peel stares at the camera with a mandolin in his hands.
Taylor Parkes and David Stubbs join Al Needham for a complete evisceration of the Sounds of ‘71, veering off on such tangents as the dangers of having a Raleigh Chopper in Leeds that was Flamboyant Green, a detailed breakdown of Tony Blackburn’s weekly shopping list, Britain’s Grooviest Granny, Rod Stewart’s Whole Lotta Rosie moment, and John, Paul, George or Ringo: who’s getting it first, lads? DO IT WHILE YOU’RE STILL YOUNG, POP-CRAZED YOUNGSTERS!
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David Stubbs, Taylor Parkes and Al Needham reach the end of their journey through 1971 with the unsavoury sight of Ashton, Gardner and Dyke, before Diana Ross goes all Tales Of The Unexpected on us. The New Seekers – the shoulders that Guys and Dolls would stand upon – pitch up with their sanitised Hippy nonsense, and we finish with a kickabout with a garage football and John Peel on mandolin...
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Taylor Parkes, David Stubbs and Al Needham continue to gorge upon the selection box of 1971, and the big hitters have arrived. Slade – midway through their gestation into Tramps Of The Future – pitch up with their first #1. George Harrison celebrates his first and only year as the most successful solo Beatle – is emoted to by the People of Pan, who are still in quarantine after being stuck in Kenya. And Mick and the Kens make a rare appearance before nipping back to France to remind us who the Daddies are now...
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David Stubbs, Taylor Parkes and Al Needham commence their expedition into a TOTP end-of-year review with a comprehensive breakdown of Tony Blackburn’s 1971 – from the highs of compering the Daily Mirror Hot Pants Ball and having his own board game to the lows of having his image desecrated by Bristolian Prog bands and the nightmare of being stalked by the Heavy Music Brigade.
Marc Bolan celebrates being the new King of Pop, The Tams have come dressed as John Inman if he supported Barcelona, and Benny Hill cops a meat pie in the heart...
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Taylor Parkes, David Stubbs and Al Needham prepare to set about a rare Sixventies episode of The Pops – a gloriously fecund time where the death of the Mopfabs creates a massive void. Who’s gonna fill it? We’ll find out in this end-of-year special. But first, it’s a leaf through the music papers of the day and a frank discussion on the rights and wrongs of having it off after a Sunday dinner...
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The latest episode of the podcast which asks; do we really need a Chart Music Heritage Chart?
Never have we needed Simon Bates at the top of the show warning of explicit content as much as we do for this episode, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, for it pains us to say that this one is absolutely sopping with the musk of Percy Filth. We’re combing through the grot-encrusted underbelly of the last days of the Eighventies here, and this episode is an uncompromising stare at it. You might want to finish your tea before you start on it.
We’re in the Summer of 1982, and this instalment of our Favourite Thursday Evening Fizzy Pop Treat, and everything – even the rubbish bits – sparkles and wobbles like deeleyboppers in the breeze. Even John Peel gets into the spirit by putting on a bin liner, managing not to punch any City Farm wankers, and keeping the barbs to a minimum, unaware that Noel Edmonds is about to attempt to decapitate him over a year from now.
Musicwise, it’s a textbook example of Silver Age Top Of The Pops, the programme that everyone moans about, but everyone watches. David Essex gifts us a slab of flesh-eating sensuality and some blokes arsing about in a posh bar. Yazoo continue their upward trajectory. We get some Red Hot Dutch Gay Filth lobbed at us, and then – YESSSS! – two chocolate guitars. Sheena Easton deigns to make an appearance, and then SIMULATED BUMSEX. Zoo get absolutely ignored because even Michael Hurll’s had enough of ‘em by now, the Fun Boy Three Puppet Show rolls into town, George Cole gets lionised, and you already know what the Number One is, so put that buffet plate down and pile onto the dancefloor, and DEAL WITH IT.
David Stubbs and Taylor Parkes join Al Needham, the Dancing Fool for a glorious rampage through the summer of ‘82, veering off into tangents such as getting someone else’s calendar foisted upon you, the horrific tawdriness of Private Spy, the joys of old mens’ urine-soaked trousers, trying to get The Old Uns to buy records about being bummed by the police while a prostitute cheers them on, David Essex Apostrophe Showcase, and a doomed attempt to make some aliens have sex. FILTH! FILTH! FILTH!
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David Stubbs, Taylor Parkes and Al Needham – still far too young, still far too clever – finish off this outstanding episode of The Pops, and are delighted to learn that at this point even Michael Hurll has had enough of Zoo, as he’s pushed them to the side to make way for some Moroccan tumblers. The Fun Boy 3 attempt to land the summer hit of the year, The Firm put themselves onto a nice little earner, and the Number One single of the week could not be more perfect. AINCHER GOT THE KETTLE ON YET, Pop-Crazed Youngsters?
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Taylor Parkes, David Stubbs and Al Needham continue their odyssey through this massively enjoyable TOTP, and we finally get to see the Chocolate Guitar incident. Sheena Easton becomes Gertie Numan, then Haysi Fantayzee perform some ACTUAL BUMHOLE LOVE while kids are watching, before Wavelength cash in on the Falklands and throw a wet tea towel over the chip pan of Fizzy Pop Excitement. OK? YEAH! SHOWDOWN!
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David Stubbs, Taylor Parkes and Al Needham gleefully ram their fists into a TOTP from the late summer of ‘82. John Peel oversees the well-supervised fun, unaware that a year from now Noel Edmonds is going to try to get him decapitated on live TV, and he introduces us to some Cannibal-Eating Sensuality. Then Yazoo – who look like the right-on young couple next door who would always be up for lending you a cup of Sosmix – continue their astonishing rise. And the Boys Town Gang take a night off from their urban perambulations to go their thing in a Dutch TV studio...
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Taylor Parkes, David Stubbs and Al Needham prepare to tuck into a gloriously succulent episode of Top Of The Pops from the Silver Age - but first, they have a leisurely trawl of that week’s NME, express disgust at the inability of AI to create graphic erotic fiction about aliens on crisp packets, and pull apart Private Spy – quite possibly the grimmest artifact of the Eighventies...
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The latest episode of the podcast which asks; The Osmonds – who’s the Sex King?
We’re BACK, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, and to commemorate this we’ve only gone and picked out one of the maddest episodes of Top Of The Pops ever. It’s the late Summer of 1974, Robin Nash has just bedded in, and he’s got big plans for our Thursday evening fizzy Pop treat. Sadly, one of them – a massive splurge on David Cassidy’s farewell tour – has been shagged up by a BBC technician’s strike. But this week, the BBC has taken full ownership of the First Family of Utah and have given over a six-day block of early evening real estate to Ken, Ken, Ken, Ken and Donny.
Consequently, this episode is a complete twisting of our Pop-Crazed melons. Out goes the studio in Television Centre, and in comes the BBC Television theatre, the natural domain of Crackerjack, That’s Life! and the Basil Brush Show. Out goes the usual melange of sullen youths chatting about lads and shoes and what they bought at Chelsea Girl last Saturday, and in comes 3,000 girls with their pants all of a piss at the sight of an Osmond. Yes, there is a presenter – Noel Edmonds, wearing possibly the most Different Times shirt ever – but he’s only there to stop the endless SCREAMING that might was well not be there.
Musicwise, well: Obviously the Osmonds get to plug their next single, but it’s a mixed bag of fag-end Glam, Black American sophistication, future advert jingles, and Brit-rubbish. The Glitter Band show off their Cyberman bukkake hairdos. Marie Osmond continues her reign as the World’s Oldest 14 Year-Old. Cozy Powell and his band of Egg and Chippers thud away. Pans People airlift a vital supply of Dadisfaction. Steve Harley and his pickup band look at each other in amused disbelief. The dark secret of Sara Leone is revealed. OH MY GOD IT’S THE BAY CITY ROLLERS. Sylvia pops up for a bit of Spanish Schlager – Schangria, if you will. The Osmonds get a massive plug for their next single, and the grown-ups enter the room with this week’s Number One.
Sarah Bee and Taylor Parkes join Al Needham for a good scream – at everything – in this episode, veering off on such tangents as Sovereign Citizens, the Osmonds’ Barbershop Raga, Mike Read’s Shakin’ Jackanory, a horrifying tale from the Wank Factory involving a tin of anchovies and the Eastenders Omnibus, Tam Paton’s Star Bar obsession, and the most Plastic item of clothing ever. Swearing a-plenty. BE CALM.
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Sarah Bee, Taylor Parkes and Al Needham conclude their investigation into this episode of Top Of The Pops, and are left shaking their heads at the success of the Bay City Rollers. The Osmonds take their final stand against the Tartan Gimmicks, the grown-ups enter the room for a properly decent No.1, and then it gets all Sunday Night At The London Palladium. RUN IN THE SUN HAVING FUN, POP-CRAZED YOUNGSTERS!
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Sarah Bee, Taylor Parkes and Al Needham continue their odyssey through one of the strangest TOTP episodes ever, with a right bunch of Egg n’ Chippers, a chance to see if you’re marriage material for Donny Osmond, a necessary blast of Dadisfaction, a foreshadowing of an advert 14 years from now, and the most Different Times incident we’ve ever come across...
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Sarah Bee, Taylor Parkes and Al Needham begin their quest through the dungeons of Castle Osmond. It’s August, it’s 1974, and the BBC have given an entire week over to Ken, Ken, Ken, Ken, Donny, Marie and Little Jimmy for six nights of Mormonised Borscht Belt Wisecracks, karate demonstrations and Barbershop Raga, live from the BBC Television Theatre. And tonight they’ve taken over our Thursday Evening Fizzy Pop Treat...
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We’re BACK, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, and we’ve foolishly decided to tuck into one of the strangest episodes of Top Of The Pops ever. But first, Sarah Bee, Taylor Parkes and Al Needham have a massive catch-up, which means tangents, a big flick through that week’s NME, and alarming news about the most Plastic item of clothing ever...
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