Episodes
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As you get older, your sense of physical balance declines a bit; and so you might think, well, I'll just try to be balanced and just stay there • but if you're working with a trainer, they deliberately try to throw you off balance • they're looking to see if you can return to balance when you're thrown off — which is the whole point • in meditation practice, we're continually trying to find the balance between too tight and too loose • as soon as you start to notice that you're losing your balance, you bring yourself back, until eventually the slipping itself brings you back • the Buddhist term “middle way” means finding a middle way between all sorts of extremes • for example, finding a middle way between “eternalism” on the one hand and “nihilism” on the other • eternalism is related to the blind hope that somehow everything is going to work out, and nihilism is the assumption that nothing is going to work out • the middle way approach cuts through both extremes: you don't buy into the assumption that some savior figure is going to come save the day and rescue you; on the other hand, you don't conclude that everything's hopeless and you're on your own • in a way, you carry such extremes with you like guardrails: you bounce off them and then come back to center • it's a very dynamic process: we can regain our balance; we can find a middle way between such extremes • like the compassionate bodhisattva, as soon as we slip, the slipping itself brings us back.
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In this episode, I'd like to explore the topic of confusion • a traditional chant has the line, “Grant your blessing so that the path may clarify confusion” • as you practice meditation and see how your mind works, you begin to uncover deep patterns of confusion — not confusion in the ordinary sense, but fundamental misperceptions that can lead to increased suffering for ourselves and others • for instance, it’s important to clarify our relationship with time: not confusing what you have experienced in the past, what you're experiencing now, and what you might experience in the future • in meditation practice we notice how much of the time we're dwelling and obsessing about things that happened in the past or about things in the future that may or may not ever happen • in meditation practice we actually invite our confusions and misunderstandings to reveal themselves so we can figure out how to deal with them and how to free ourselves from the traps that they set • when we extend a warm welcome to our confusion, it actually freaks them out, so to speak, because misunderstandings and confusions thrive on our ignorance and avoidance • the idea is to find some kind of middle way: we're not trying to fix anything, and we're not trying to avoid anything; we're just taking a fresh look and cultivating a little more self understanding and clarity.
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Missing episodes?
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In this episode, I'd like to focus on awareness, or vipashyana • while mindfulness refers to stabilizing, grounding, and focusing the mind, vipashyana is about clarity, openness, curiosity, and inquisitiveness • vipashyana is a natural outgrowth of mindfulness practice: as the mind settles, it begins to naturally clarify • vipashyana draws us outward; it is based on taking a genuine interest in the details of our life, in the details of our perception, and in the details of our own character • with vipashyana, we use our meditative grounding as a stepping stone to engage in the world with clarity and insight • the idea of clarity in vipashyana is more like a verb than like a noun: it's a positive kind of questioning mind, a process of seeking clarity, of not being satisfied with a superficial or vague understanding of our experience or of the teachings of Dharma • when you hear about something like the Four Noble Truths, what does that actually mean? • rather than just passively accepting that this is the way it's been taught, we try to really penetrate and understand it • vipashyana exposes how fuzzy we are about so much of our basic experience, how many unexamined assumptions we operate under, how much we miss • vipashyana is like having a set of fresh eyes: when you take a fresh look, you see things differently • you connect to a vaster world that is more vivid, and fresh, and true.
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The Eightfold Path is one of the early teachings the Buddha gave after his enlightenment • they are guidelines for living in accordance with the Dharma; they are guidelines for how to comport yourself, how to relate to one another, how to be in the world in a way that's more wise, more skillful, and more accurate • the first of the eight is right VIEW — cultivating clearer seeing, cultivating the ability to see for yourself, be curious, and to look deeply into the nature of your experience and the nature of reality • the second is right RESOLVE — having seen clearly what's going on, you develop the resolve to do something about it • the third is right SPEECH — not just blurting out whatever comes into your mind, but paying attention to your use of words and how you manifest altogether through your speech • the fourth is right ACTION — paying attention to your actions • the fifth is right LIVELIHOOD — is our approach to work ethical, and does our work benefit? • the sixth is right EFFORT — working with ourselves to develop greater skill with our thoughts, our speech, our actions, and interactions • the seventh and eighth — right MINDFULNESS and right CONCENTRATION —are the keys to the whole thing: cultivating mindfulness in whatever we're doing • these eight guidelines are not about being good or bad; they're simply suggestions that we can use to help us see how we go about our life altogether.
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As a student of Chögyam Trungpa, I heard the phrase “back to square one” quite a lot • he implied that doing something over and over again is very important — in our dharma practice, in our meditation, and in our studies • throughout his teachings, Trungpa Rinpoche put a great deal of emphasis on building a strong foundation, and on going back to the very earliest teachings of the Buddha, in particular to the teachings of the Four Noble Truths: the reality of suffering, the causes of suffering, the possibility of the cessation of suffering, and various pathways to do so • in a more immediate sense, going back to square one can mean going back to your very first personal inspiration to embark on the path of dharma • why are you doing this? what is the point? what inspired you from the very beginning? • going back to square one means to always touch back on the foundation • no matter how “advanced” you may feel, you always have to check back and ask: are you actually working on yourself, are you actually dealing with your own neuroses, your own habits, your own obstacles? • and as you extend your practice to working with others to cultivate wisdom and compassion and skillful means, how are you working with that? • so you go back to the beginning; you start from square one, over and over and over • this practice of going back to square one keeps things fresh and honest; it keeps us in tune with the fundamental questions that we need to look into.
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Buddhism is often referred to as a path; not as a set of beliefs or a doctrine, but as a trail, a path, a walkway • it's a direction, or a guideline, or a map of sorts; you have an idea of trying to get somewhere, but you can't see where the destination is • so there's a quality of faith that if you walk along this path, you'll get where you'd like to go • walking on a path teaches you about your own resilience, your own strengths, your own fears and hesitations • you're confronted with challenges all the time: the path is washed out, or something blocks the path • such obstacles are central to the experience • but there's also a sense of accomplishment, of building resilience and strength, of finding out who you are in the face of challenges • if you have a fixed idea of some destination, you might begin to wonder, Where am I trying to get anyway? • the path keeps unfolding and you keep walking along, but you have no idea how to know if you've reached your destination or not • Am I there yet? Is this it? You may even start to suspect that there is no “there” • all your thoughts about where you're trying to get to can begin to crumble — which is actually wonderful and amazing • you might even say, now you're finally getting somewhere.
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Walking meditation is often introduced in the context of group practice: you're sitting and a gong rings, and then you stand up and begin walking; then another gong rings and you go back to sitting • this brings up a couple of interesting things • how do we transition from one state to another without losing it and needing to regroup on some subtle level? • we are brought face to face with the challenge of having a more continuous sense of mindfulness and awareness, rather than turning it on and turning it off • the group aspect also brings up how easy it is to be in our practice bubble, and not really be aware of those around us or the environment in which we're practicing • it also brings in a relational aspect: when you are walking in a circle, there's someone in front of you and someone behind you • they may be wearing funny clothes, or they may be going faster or slower than you'd like • you have to coordinate what you're doing with others, so there's a relational aspect that has a rich texture • another important and inspiring aspect of walking meditation is how it's connected with going beyond our own concerns, with making gestures of peace in the midst of war-torn worlds • training in walking meditation can help us to be able to touch in with the force of peace, even in the midst of struggle and chaos and suffering.
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In this episode I'd like to explore the topic of walking meditation • in some ways walking meditation is a link between stillness and movement; it is a bridge between the quiet and peaceful state of sitting meditation and the activities of daily life • but in walking meditation, we're not trying to get somewhere; the walking itself is the point • in walking meditation, you place your attention on the contact of your feet with the earth or the floor • you pay attention as your balance shifts from one foot to the other foot, and to the pushing off as you shift from one foot to the other • it’s very simple • the idea is not to be overly precious or self conscious, but simply keep our attention so that when we walk with each step, it's a genuine step, a true step • when we walk, we really walk; we include everything in each step • walking meditation has the sense of continuous presence, continuous awareness, continuous being • you don't have to be in a formal setting; you can notice how you walk, notice how connected or disconnected you are with your walking, and then work with that • I invite you to explore what it's like to walk, just to walk, with mindfulness • it's amazing how powerful one true gesture can be.
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In this episode I'd like to explore the role of self reliance on the Buddhist path • the basic idea is that nobody can walk your path for you; even if we encounter the wisest teachers and most supportive community that ever existed, fundamentally, at some very deep level, each of us is on our own • we must confront our own mind, our own emotions, our own habits; each of us must discover what this journey of awakening is all about • the quality of self reliance is very much related to a sense of persistence—learning how to just stick with something when our inspiration wanes • we might look for shortcuts, for ways to beat the system, so to speak; but there's really no way around the fact that if we want any results, we need to persist • one way of looking at this is to compare an escalator and a staircase • with an escalator, you just hop on and it lifts you up to your destination • it seems so much better than trudging up a staircase • but when you reach the top of the escalator, you haven’t really changed • when you walk up a staircase, one step at a time, you're building strength; with each step, something is transforming • the person at the top is very different from the person who took that first step.
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Today I'd like to explore the question of sacredness • there is a tendency to think that there are certain special things in life that are sacred, and then there's the rest of life, which is secular • is sacredness something that exists out there, or do we decide what is sacred? • in Buddhism there's an emphasis on seeing sacredness in the most mundane aspects of our ordinary life • viewing things with a sacred outlook has the power to reconnect us with a quality of wonder, a quality of awe, a quality of deep respect • you simply view everything — your body, your words, your emotions, your thoughts, your consciousness — as though it matters, as though it is worthy of your mindful attention and care • we can be inspired by certain special sacred sites, but the point is not to use those experiences to diminish or devalue the rest of our life • there are opportunities to see the sacredness all around us in every situation, in every encounter, all the time, hidden in plain sight.
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This episode focuses on the faults and shortcomings we see in ourselves and in other beings: how do we become friends with ourselves, with all our faults, without excusing them and without concealing them? • why is it so easy to see everybody else's faults and so hard to look at our own? • I was inspired in part by a traditional poem called “Calling to the Gurus from Afar”; it's an example of a student being willing to show up as they are • here is the stanza I’m referring to: “My faults are as large as a mountain, but I conceal them within me / Others faults are as minute as a sesame seed, but I proclaim them and condemn them / I boast about my virtues, though I don't even have a few / I call myself a Dharma practitioner and practice only non-dharma / Guru, think of me, look upon me quickly with compassion, grant your blessings so that I subdue my selfishness and pride” • this poem was written by a great Tibetan master named Jamgon Kongtrul • it's oddly reassuring that someone like that can lay out such faults so easily, so openly, and with a sense of humor or lightness as well • it’s like taking our pile of juicy neurotic habits or attachments and laying them out like dead fish and exposing them to the light of the sun, and in that environment of sanity and compassion, they simply dry up.
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In this episode, I'd like to focus on meditation in action, and particularly on speech • in Buddhism there is a tremendous respect for the spoken word • speech is powerful; it can be beneficial, and it also can be harmful • because speech plays such a large role in our lives, it is an excellent basis for meditation in action, for cultivating our mindfulness and awareness • so I'd like to introduce what are called the six points of mindful speech — six things to pay attention to when you are speaking • the first point is precision, which is based on enunciation and speaking clearly • it is quite kind to do this, for it makes it easier for others to understand us • the second point is simplicity; this includes choosing your words well, as well as noticing if you're talking just to be talking • the third point is pacing; being mindful that you are not speaking to too fast or too slow • the fourth point is silence; sometimes the most important communication we can make is to bite our tongue and not say what we're thinking • the fifth point is really listening to what others are saying; it's learning to pay attention to the nuances and the subtleties • the sixth point is making it a practice to pay attention to your own speech and your speech patterns • all of these points are based on cultivating a quality of mind that is gentle and true and precise and open.
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Loving kindness – known in Sanskrit as maitri – is a cornerstone of the entire Buddhist path • without loving kindness, no matter how much you meditate or how much you study the dharma, it will lack ultimate value • maitri is the valve through which the power of the dharma can flow • it is the foundation of true spiritual practice; it is transformative; and it is fundamental to our human nature • yet, ironically, it's easy to lose our connection, to lose that sense of the heart of things • at first, maitri might arrive just as simple little pinpricks, little noticings in the midst of our struggles and dramas • in the midst of all that, there are little refreshing moments where we're pulled out of our own dramas for a second • it might be sparked by the simplest thing — as simple as the sun coming out from behind the clouds after days of cloudiness • when we start to notice those little moments, we begin to realize that kind of tenderness and heartfulness of life is always there • instead of being caught up in perpetual strategies and struggles to secure happiness, maitri, or loving kindness, is something that is always accessible, no matter the circumstances.
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When Trungpa Rinpoche spoke about the importance of joining intellect and intuition, he was referring to combining learning and study with the practice of meditation • the practice of meditation helps us to overcome the chaos of conflicting emotions, while learning or sharpening the intellect leads to gentleness • the idea of learning in this case isn't necessarily about acquiring large amounts of of information; it is about cultivating an inquisitive mind • first you need to listen and learn, to pay attention, to get the facts • but then you have to really think about what you have learned; you have to work with it and struggle with it • there's a kind of laziness of mind that settles for a superficial understanding without really questioning what is being said, and why • this is particularly true in this “age of information,” which in many ways has become the age of disinformation and conspiracy theories • there is a tendency to not really think about what you hear, but just respond on an emotional level to rumor and innuendo • such gullibility can leave us vulnerable to manipulation by people who don't necessarily have the best of intentions • the type of questioning I'm referring to is not cynical questioning based on hatred and aggression, but a questioning that comes from curiosity and genuine interest • because we're willing to question ourselves as well as others, it leads to a kind of softness or gentleness, as well as clarity and depth.
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When you go to a play, you see people who are pretending to be other people; they learn their lines and move about in scripted ways • they perform on a stage, and in front of the stage is an audience, people watching a little world unfold in front of them • so there are the actors, the audience, and the relationship between the two • Trungpa Rinpoche suggested that we're not all that different from actors on a stage • he used the metaphor of a “portable stage” that we carry around with us, so we can act out our little dramas in front of our little audiences • like the actors, we go through life pretending — looking for applause, affirmation, recognition... maybe even an Emmy • this tendency is heightened by social media, where we're all posing, gathering likes and freaking out about dislikes and unfriendings • do we even know who we are when there is no audience to confirm us? • one aspect of meditation is finding some simple ground that is not part of this game, that is not dependent on affirmation or confirmation, but is direct, immediate, simple experience • we can begin to investigate for ourselves: how we are relating to the roles we find ourselves in, or that we create? how can we avoid becoming trapped within these roles? why do we always need an audience? and how can we make use of such roles for benefit? • these are questions that might be worth exploring.
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One of my favorite nursery rhymes contains quite a bit of wisdom: “Row row, row, row your boat gently down the stream; merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream” • if we think of the stream as a stream of teachings, then we could consider the Buddha as the source of the stream • from that beginning a great river continues to flow over thousands of years • where does this stream flow? It flows into an ocean, which you could say is the awakening of the practitioner • you have a boat to carry you down this stream, and you have a set of oars to row with • what kind of effort do you apply? it's a steady effort, but it's also a relaxed effort: you're rowing gently, but regularly and persistently • and how are you doing all this? you're doing it merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily • it's not a big struggle; there's a sense of delight • in fact it could be dreamlike because it's not so solid, it's not so frozen • we're in a shifting and changing world; it's so dreamlike and so unreal in so many ways, but so beautiful and colorful at the same time.
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The phrase, “When you lose your mind, come back” describes a lot of what happens in meditation: repeatedly losing our minds, and repeatedly bringing ourselves back • the moment we’ve noticed we’ve lost it is the moment we can return • what are we returning to? the simplicity of the present moment • another phrase Trungpa Rinpoche used quite a lot was, “Don’t think too much” • what are the benefits and what are the limits of thinking and conceptual understanding? • in the Buddhist tradition scholarship is highly valued • however, to be a realized person, to live a dharmic lifestyle, you don’t need to be a scholar; you don’t need to be all that clever • “coming back” in this context could mean coming back from the tangle of conceptual notes and fascinations to something immediate and basic and close to the heart • Trungpa Rinpoche used the term “intellect and intuition” when referring to these two streams • they are not in opposition or at war; there’s a sense of sophistication in the interplay between these two.
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At our core is our tender heart, tinged with a touch of sadness • it is sweet and vulnerable • this soft spot may be deeply buried, but it is always there • even very simple or momentary experiences can connect us with this heart: you might watch a pair of swallows fly back and forth, over and over, bringing food to their hungry chicks, and something melts or softens in you • it is so beautiful to be touched in this way; but this inner core of tenderness can also make us feel threatened and vulnerable • so we learn to armor up, to wrap that tenderness in layers of protection • we begin to buy into the dichotomy between strength on the one hand and vulnerability on the other • little by little, we dull our feelings to hide our vulnerability • but as we hide that openness and vulnerability, we also cut off the tender wellspring of kindness and compassion • the posture of meditation, with its strong back and soft belly, symbolizes the integration of strength and vulnerability • when these two are in harmony, we may discover that our vulnerability is not actually a weakness, but our greatest source of strength • when we bring vulnerability and strength together in harmony, we begin to live in this world in a more confident, fresh, and vivid way.
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Trungpa Rinpoche emphasized the importance of understanding space; he encouraged us to explore our experiences of boredom, our discomfort with stillness, and our tendency to fill space • he taught that the basic energy pervading all of space is love and kindness; so to cultivate greater kindness and love, it is important to relate to space and its qualities • he introduced three aspects or qualities of space • the first is that space is indestructible, because it doesn't come from anywhere and doesn’t go anywhere; it is unborn, it is unceasing, and it is impossible to manipulate • the second aspect of space is that it accommodates birth and death: things are always arising and dissolving within it, and space accommodates it all • the third aspect of space is that it creates obstacles; it seems to rebel against our ideas of importance and what we'd like to accomplish • this aspect of space reminds me of the kind of experience people can have in the vicinity of a dying person • in that space, all projects and activities and preoccupations just dissolve on the spot • I'd like to invite you to explore these qualities of space in your daily life experience and in your meditation practice.
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Today I'd like to explore the topic of space • the idea of space as it relates to meditation practice is connected with the notion of “gap” — noticing gaps at the end of each outbreath, noticing the little refreshing moments between things, which we often miss • our connection with space can be an almost embodied or physical sense of things: we can sense when a space seems threatening or welcoming • we can begin to explore our relationship with space very simply by noticing our tendency to keep ourselves occupied when discomfort arises • can we just be at ease with ourselves? can we relax in space? • when there is too much space we start to feel groundless; but when there is not enough space we begin to feel claustrophobic • so we look for some kind of spacious quality that we can manage, to fit between those extremes • but trying to manage space is like trying to corral the sky; it can't be done • space dissolves any such schemes and strategies • maybe we need to drop all of our strategies for a moment, and let wisdom arise spontaneously from the freedom and vastness of space.
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