Episodes

  • Zoom Out: The One Egg Freezing Question No One Asks

    Zoom Out: The One Egg Freezing Question No One Asks

    · Building your family

    In this first episode of the Zoom Out series, reproductive therapist, researcher, and author Lisa Schuman, LCSW unpacks the most important question almost no one asks about egg freezing.

    Lisa explains why “How many eggs can I freeze?” is only part of the story, and why you also need to understand how many cycles and eggs you’re likely to need for the kind of family you actually want in the future. She introduces her Zoom Out Theory – a simple framework to help you step back from panic, manage stress, and make clearer decisions about your fertility.

    Drawing on decades of clinical experience and research, Lisa also shares surprising data about non‑genetic parenthood options: how many egg freezing patients are open to donor eggs, embryos, or other paths if needed, and why that matters for how aggressively you pursue more cycles now.

    You’ll learn:

    The critical egg freezing question almost no one thinks to askWhy freezing “as many eggs as possible” isn’t always necessary – or helpfulHow your emotional state can quietly distort your fertility decisionsWhat Lisa’s research reveals about patients’ real openness to non‑genetic optionsA practical way to zoom out and plan for your long‑term family, not just the next cycleIf you’re considering egg freezing – or you’ve already frozen eggs and are wondering what comes next – this episode will help you balance facts and feelings so you can move forward with more confidence.

    #eggfreezing #fertility #ivfjourney #fertilitypreservation#reproductivehealth #ttc #familybuilding #donorconception

  • From Infertility to Motherhood: Dr. Jessica Gray on Resilience, Miscarriage & Finding Control

    From Infertility to Motherhood: Dr. Jessica Gray on Resilience, Miscarriage & Finding Control

    · Building your family

    In this episode of Building Your Family, Lisa Schuman, LCSW sits down with Dr. Jessica Gray, a physician who has lived through infertility, miscarriage, and the intense pressures of medical training on her way to motherhood.

    Jessica shares how a stressful childhood shaped her resilience, what it was like to face endometriosis and IVF as both a doctor and a patient, and how she coped when a long‑hoped‑for pregnancy ended in miscarriage. She talks candidly about binders of notes, hours of research, and the feeling of “doing everything right” and still not getting the outcome she hoped for.

    Together, Lisa and Jessica explore the emotional burden of infertility on both partners, the importance of support systems, and the small planning behaviors that can create a sense of control in an uncertain journey. Jessica reflects on how she now gives back to the infertility and parenting community, and what she would say to her younger self who was just starting down this road.

    If you’ve felt isolated, overwhelmed, or “not like yourself” during infertility or pregnancy, this conversation offers validation, practical coping ideas, and hope.

    Dr. Jessica Gray resources:Website: https://www.drjessicagraymd.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drjessicagraymd

    #infertility #miscarriage #IVFjourney #endometriosis #ttccommunity #infertilitysupport #pregnancyloss #mentalhealth#familybuilding #fertilitytreatment #resilience#motherhood #medicaltraining #emotionalhealth #buildyourfamilypodcast

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  • Single Motherhood by Choice: 5 Steps Before You Decide (with Alexis Melnick, MD)

    Single Motherhood by Choice: 5 Steps Before You Decide (with Alexis Melnick, MD)

    · Building your family

    If you’re single or in a relationship that isn’t working and you’re quietly Googling “single motherhood by choice,” this episode is for you. In this conversation with SMBC fertility doctor Alexis Melnick, MD, we walk through 5 clear steps to help you decide before your back is against the wall.

    We cover both paths: staying on the relationship track and exploring single motherhood by choice on your own timeline. You’ll hear about the emotional, practical, financial, and support‑system questions to ask yourself so you can move from spiraling alone at 2 a.m. to making a grounded plan.

    Inside this episode:• Who this is really for (single, dating, or in a shaky relationship)• The 5‑step framework Alexis uses with clients considering SMBC• Grief, stigma, and the “mourning period” for the life you imagined• Why so many people say they wish they’d decided earlier• How to know you didn’t “fail” if you choose this path

    If you’re considering donor conception or surrogacy as a single parent, this will help you feel less alone, more informed, and better prepared.

    Work with Alexis: [[email protected]]Get my free family‑building resources: 10 Things Donor Conceived Children Want Their Parents To Understand: https://familybuilding.net/free-downloads/

    #singlemotherbychoice #singlemotherhood #donorconception #fertilityjourney #queerfamily

  • Queer Family Pride Special: Donor Conception, Talking To Kids, and Embracing Your Family

    Queer Family Pride Special: Donor Conception, Talking To Kids, and Embracing Your Family

    · Building your family

    In honor of Pride, this episode is a love letter to queer family building.

    I’ve pulled my favorite moments from conversations with LGBTQ+ parents, a fertility doctor, a midwife, a donor‑conceived person, and queer influencers who’ve built their families through donor conception and surrogacy. Together, they share how they answer intrusive questions, how they talk to their kids about donors and surrogates, and how they’ve learned to fully embrace the families they fought so hard to create.

    We talk about:• Navigating fertility clinics, donor conception, and surrogacy as queer intended parents• What to actually say when people ask, “But who’s the real mom/dad?”• Age‑appropriate language for talking to children about donors and surrogates• Grief, joy, and pride on the path to queer parenthood• How our families feel now that their children are here

    If you’re using reproductive medicine, donor conception, or surrogacy to build your family, you are not alone. This episode is meant to sit beside you in the messy middle, give you words when you’re tongue‑tied, and remind you that your family is real, valid, and worthy of celebration.

    Please join us on the anniversary of Stonewall for a free Queer Family Building workshop. Register here: https://familybuilding.net/events-page/

    #QueerFamily #DonorConception #QueerFertility #FamilyBuilding#DonorConceived #Pride

  • Broadway Husbands: Their Road to Maverick (Pride Tribute) Re-Released for Pride in Bret’s Honor

    Broadway Husbands: Their Road to Maverick (Pride Tribute) Re-Released for Pride in Bret’s Honor

    · Building your family

    Re-released for Pride 2026 — In loving memory of Bret Hanna-Shuford (1979–2026)

    In this beloved episode, I sit down with Bret Shuford and Stephen Hanna — the Broadway Dads — to talk about one of the most heartfelt and hard-won family-building journeys I’ve ever witnessed. Together, these two Broadway performers navigated egg donation, surrogacy, financial challenges, a lost match, a miscarriage, and a global pandemic before welcoming their son, Maverick, in 2022.Bret passed away in January 2026 after a sudden and devastating illness. He was 46 years old.Stephen is now raising Maverick on his own — and remains a fierce, loving advocate for the LGBTQ+ community in their pursuit of parenthood. I re-release this episode with a full heart, because Bret’s spirit, humor, and generosity shine through every minute of it.

    In this episode we cover:• How Bret and Stephen chose their egg donor — and why the first profile felt right• The surrogacy process as two performers managing a major financial investment• How they handled the hard questions from others• What they wish they had known going in• The moment they knew it was “supposed to be this way”

    This one is for every queer person who has ever dreamed of becoming a parent — and for Bret, who never stopped believing it was possible.

    Episode resourcesBuy the new book "Goodnight Break a Leg": https://bit.ly/GoodNightBreakALegBook

    #DonorConceptionConversations #Pride2026 #BroadwayDads #LGBTQFamily#BroadwayHusbands #Surrogacy #QueerParenting #DonorConception #EggDonation#GayDads #InMemoriam #FamilyBuilding #BretShuford #BuildingYourFamily#RepresentationMatters #LGBTQ

  • Queer Families & Donor Conception: Building Strong Bonds Beyond Biology with Jaimie Kelton

    Queer Families & Donor Conception: Building Strong Bonds Beyond Biology with Jaimie Kelton

    · Building your family

    What does it really look like to build a queer family today – with donor conception, infertility, and non‑biological parenting in the mix?

    In this episode of Building Your Family, Lisa sits down with long‑time queer family advocate and podcast host of the Queer Family Podcast, Jaimie Kelton to talk honestly about infertility, the emotional weight of genetics, and the many paths LGBTQ+ families take to build their families. They explore how advocacy and resources for queer families have evolved, why non‑biological connections can be just as deep as genetic ones, and how humor helps normalize complex family dynamics.

    You’ll hear candid stories about slow bonding, the myth of the “instant magical moment,” and why accepting your unique path changes everything. Lisa and Jamie also dig into the importance of intentional parenting, open communication about donor conception, and how to create safety for kids to ask questions about their origins.

    If you’re a queer parent, planning a family, or supporting LGBTQIA families, this conversation will give you language, perspective, and community for the journey.

    You’ll learn:

    How advocacy and resources for queer families have changedWhy infertility and emotional struggles are universal and important to acknowledgeHow to navigate feelings about genetics and non‑biological parentingPractical ways to talk with kids about donor conceptionWhy community support and openness matter so much for LGBTQ+ family building

    Guest resourcesWebsite: https://www.thequeerfamilypodcast.com/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thequeerfamilypodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thequeerfamilypodcast/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thequeerfamilypodcast

  • Ask the Experts: Everything You Need to Know About Donor Conception — with Dr. Mark Leondires

    Ask the Experts: Everything You Need to Know About Donor Conception — with Dr. Mark Leondires

    · Building your family

    Re-released for Pride 2026 — Because this conversation never gets old

    What does it actually feel like to need a donor to build your family? How do you choose the right one? What does the medical process look like — and what does the emotional process look like? In this rare co-author conversation, I put these questions to Dr. Mark Leondires, Founder and Medical Director of Illume Fertility and Gay Parents To Be — and he turns them right back on me.

    Together, Dr. Leondires and I wrote Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception. In this episode, we give you the condensed, honest version — the medical clarity, the practical steps, and the emotional truth — all in one place.

    You’ll walk away knowing:• The key medical steps in egg, sperm, and embryo donation• How to think about choosing a donor — and what really matters• The emotional landscape most people don’t expect• What to tell your children — and when• Why donor conception is more mainstream than ever, and what that means for your family

    Whether you’re just starting to explore the idea or are already in the process, this episode givesyou clear, actionable guidance from two of the leading voices in the field. No fluff. Nooverwhelm. Just answers.

    #DonorConceptionConversations #Pride2026 #DonorConception #LGBTQFamily#EggDonation #SpermDonation #IVF #FertilityDoctor #BuildingYourFamily#DrMarkLeondires #IllumeFertility #GayParentsToBe #FamilyBuilding #QueerFamily#FertilityPodcast #ListenNow

    Co-authors Lisa Schuman &; Dr. Mark Leondires answer your biggest donor conceptionquestions — medical, emotional &; practical. 50+ years of expertise in one episode.

    ABOUT THE GUESTSDr. Mark Leondires, MD — Founder and Medical Director, Illume Fertility; Founder, Gay ParentsTo Be; co-author, Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception. Father through donor conception and surrogacy.Lisa Schuman, LCSW — Founding Director, The Center for Family Building; host, Donor Conception Conversations podcast; co-author, Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception; award-winning researcher, ASRM.

  • Secondary Infertility & PCOS: What To Do When Doctors Say “Just Keep Trying”

    Secondary Infertility & PCOS: What To Do When Doctors Say “Just Keep Trying”

    · Building your family

    She was only 25 and already knew something was wrong.If you have one child and are secretly struggling to have another, this episode is for you.Margarita’s story of secondary infertility and PCOS shows what happens when “just keep trying” isn’t good enough.

    In this episode of Building Your Family, Lisa Schuman sits down with Margarita Lainez to talk about the often overlooked reality of secondary infertility and PCOS. After having her first child with ease, Margarita assumed a second would come naturally. Instead, she faced month after month of negative tests, dismissive “just keep trying” advice, and the heavy guilt of not giving her son a sibling.

    Margarita shares what it was like to live this while working inside the fertility world, how she finally pushed for a real workup and received a PCOS diagnosis, and the grief, shame, and loneliness that came with that season. Together, Lisa and Margarita explore self‑advocacy, setting boundaries, protecting your mental health, and finding the right support when friends, family, or even doctors don’t fully understand.

    If you’re in the middle of your own fertility journey, especially secondary infertility, this conversation will help you feel less alone and more equipped to ask for what you need.

    Inside this episode:

    What secondary infertility can feel like day‑to‑dayBeing told “just keep trying” when you know something is wrongGetting to a PCOS diagnosis and what self‑advocacy really looked likeShame, blame, and the pressure to “give a sibling”Setting boundaries, finding community, and caring for your mental healthWhat grounded, realistic hope can look like after griefIf you’re in secondary infertility or on a donor conception path and want help with the emotional and decision‑making side, that’s exactly what we do inside Building Your Family.👉 Learn more and get support here: https://familybuilding.net/building-your-family-community/

    Guest resourcesLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/margarita-lainez-950a2860/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/margaritalainez100/

    #secondaryinfertility #PCOS #fertilityjourney #infertilitysupport #buildingyourfamily #donorconception #ttccommunity

  • When Standard IVF Isn’t Enough: How One Fertility Doctor Thinks Differently

    When Standard IVF Isn’t Enough: How One Fertility Doctor Thinks Differently

    · Building your family

    If you’ve been told “this is just your protocol,” “we’ll just try again,” or “everything looks fine” while IVF keeps failing, this episode is for you. Standard IVF works for many people, but not for everyone. So what happens when you don’t fit the usual box?

    In this conversation, I’m joined by Dr. Pietro Bortoletto, reproductive endocrinologist at Terra Fertility. He trained at Northwestern, Brigham & Women’s / Mass General, and Weill Cornell, and now focuses on the hard cases: diminished ovarian reserve, recurrent implantation failure, recurrent pregnancy loss, endometriosis, fibroids, and Müllerian anomalies.

    We talk about:

    Why he stepped out of the traditional IVF systemHow real experts think “outside the box” without going fringeWhen surgery actually helps (and when it’s just more trauma)The role of endometriosis, inflammation, and the immune system in fertilityWhat thoughtful immunologic workups look like (and when they’re not useful)When to seek a second opinion and how to do it respectfullyMindset tools for staying sane when the road is long and uncertainThis is not personal medical advice. It is a window into how a well‑trained REI thinks when standard IVF isn’t working, so you can have better, deeper conversations with your own team.

    🔗 If you’re in treatment, using donors, or considering surrogacy and want more support with the emotional and decision‑making side of this journey, that’s exactly what we do inside The Building Your Family Community. You’ll find the link in the description.

    Guest resources:Website: https://www.terrafertility.com/

    #IVF #Fertility #Infertility #FertilityTreatment #DiminishedOvarianReserve#RecurrentImplantationFailure #RecurrentPregnancyLoss #Endometriosis#FertilityDoctor #FertilitySupport #FertilityJourney #IVFSupport#TryingToConceive #FertilityClinic #FamilyBuilding

  • Toxins & Fertility How to Think About Chemicals with the Co‑Founder of Green Chemistry

    Toxins & Fertility How to Think About Chemicals with the Co‑Founder of Green Chemistry

    · Building your family

    Unexplained infertility. Failed cycles. Constant “what ifs” about plastics, products, and the environments we live in.

    We’re surrounded by headlines about “toxins” and especially worried about how they might affect fertility, but almost no one teaches us how to think clearly about any of it. In this episode, Lisa Schuman, LCSW, talks with Dr. John Warner, a founder of Green Chemistry, about how everyday materials may influence fertility and health, and how to think about risk without spiraling into fear. Dr. Warner shares the personal tragedy that pushed him to re‑invent how chemistry is taught and practiced, and together they explore what realistic, informed choices look like for people in fertility treatment, donor conception, and surrogacy.

    You’ll hear about:

    How environmental exposures intersect with fertility and overall healthThe “devastating realization” that changed Dr. Warner’s careerWhat Green Chemistry is and why it matters for future parentsWhy testing chemicals is so complex (and why “no data” ≠ “safe”)How to ask better questions instead of panicking about “toxins”The four pillars of chemistry education and “intellectual ecology”How consumer choices quietly shape what companies create nextWhy fear itself can become toxic and block clear decision‑makingIf you’re going through IVF, using donor conception, working with a surrogate, or pregnant after infertility, this conversation offers a calmer, clearer way to think about your environment, without chasing perfection or drowning in guilt.

    Guest resourcesWebsite: https://johnwarner.org/

    Chapters00:00 The Impact of Environment on Fertility03:42 John Warner's Journey to Green Chemistry08:33 The Birth of Green Chemistry15:43 Practical Steps for a Healthier Life19:31 The Challenge of Testing and Regulation25:58 Finding Reliable Information on Toxicity27:51 The Four Pillars of Chemistry Education29:00 Intellectual Ecology in Chemistry30:08 Navigating Public Skepticism32:55 Finding Balance in Information34:54 Making Informed Choices36:27 Embracing Chemistry in Daily Life39:22 Consumer Responsibility and Market Influence42:20 Understanding Marketing and Product Labels45:45 Overcoming Chemophobia and Embracing Chemistry49:39 The Role of Fear in Consumer Choices

    #fertility #IVF #donorconception #greenchemistry #environmentaltoxins #infertility #womenshealth #familybuilding #eggdonation #surrogacy

  • When You’re Not the Genetic Parent: Staying Connected as a Couple

    When You’re Not the Genetic Parent: Staying Connected as a Couple

    · Building your family

    If you’re building your family through donor conception and one of you is not genetically related to your child, this episode is for you.

    Lisa Schuman, LCSW, unpacks the real emotional challenges non-genetically related parents face: jealousy, insecurity, fear of being “less than,” and the quiet worry about connection and bonding. She walks you through five key suggestions for navigating these feelings together, so you can protect your relationship and your future family.

    You’ll learn:

    Why the non-genetic parent often gets overlooked, and how to change that How to talk openly about jealousy, insecurity, and grief The critical difference between privacy and secrecy in donor conception How to stay flexible as roles and feelings shift over time What the genetically linked parent needs emotionally, and how to support each other as a team

    This conversation is about intention, compassion, and clear communication so both parents feel seen, secure, and fully “real” in their role. If you want a strong relationship and a healthy environment for your donor-conceived child, start here.

    Get free resources on donor conception here: https://familybuilding.net/free-downloads/

    00:00 Introduction to Donor Conception and Parenting Dynamics01:44 Challenges for Non-Genetically Related Parents02:59 Navigating Emotional Complexities06:05 Five Key Suggestions for Couples08:18 The Importance of Open Communication10:16 Privacy vs. Secrecy in Family Building12:04 Creating a Supportive Environment14:36 Flexibility in Parenting Roles15:06 Recognizing the Genetically Linked Parent's Role17:16 Normalizing Feelings in Parenting18:46 The Importance of Intention and Communication

  • Proactive Fertility: When To Get Checked, Freeze Eggs & Plan Ahead | Dr. Shefali Shastri, RMA NJ

    Proactive Fertility: When To Get Checked, Freeze Eggs & Plan Ahead | Dr. Shefali Shastri, RMA NJ

    · Building your family

    Most people only meet a fertility specialist in crisis mode.In this episode, Dr. Shefali Shastri, Clinical Director and Physician Partner at RMA New Jersey, explains what proactive fertility actually looks like.

    Dr. Shastri is a board‑certified reproductive endocrinologist who has helped bring thousands of babies into the world since joining RMA New Jersey in 2009. Inspired by her OB/GYN mother, she now combines cutting‑edge science with deeply personal, patient‑centered care.

    We cover:• Who should consider a fertility workup before trying• How to understand your “fertility age” vs your birthday age• What a proactive fertility checkup actually includes (hormones, AMH, ultrasound, semen analysis, basic genetic screening, etc.)• Red flags where you should not “wait a year”• Egg freezing, preimplantation genetic testing, and underlying genetic causes of infertility• Exercise, weight, stress and movement for fertility• Specific guidance for single parents by choice, queer couples, and people planning for donor conception or surrogacy• How to turn fear of “bad news” into informed, empowered decisions

    If you’re not trying yet but want options later, or you’re already in treatment and feeling stuck, this conversation will give you a clear, compassionate roadmap.

    Connect:• Learn more about Dr. Shastri and RMA New Jersey: https://rmanetwork.com/staff/shefali-mavani-shastri/• Follor Dr. Shastri on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shefalishastrimd/• Get my proactive fertility & family‑building resources:https://familybuilding.net/free-downloads/

  • National Infertility Awareness Week: RESOLVE, Queer & Solo Parents, and How Your Story Changes Policy

    National Infertility Awareness Week: RESOLVE, Queer & Solo Parents, and How Your Story Changes Policy

    · Building your family

    National Infertility Awareness Week is about more than awareness posts. It is about whose stories get heard, who gets left out, and how we turn lived experience into better policy for everyone building their family.

    In this episode, I’m joined by Danielle, the new CEO of RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. We talk about what RESOLVE is really doing behind the scenes, how they’re supporting single parents by choice and queer families, and why telling your story is one of the most powerful forms of advocacy you have.

    We also get practical: how to advocate for yourself at work, how to approach HR about fertility benefits, and how to find common ground in a divided moment so we can actually move legislation forward.

    We cover:

    What RESOLVE does for patients beyond social media during NIAWHow current policies help some groups and still miss singles and LGBTQ+ familiesConcrete RESOLVE resources for talking to HR about fertility coverageAdvocating for yourself at work without risking everythingUsing your story to build empathy, shift culture, and influence lawmakersFinding common ground across differences as a path to better legislationIf you’re a single parent by choice, part of a queer couple, or anyone navigating reproductive medicine who has ever felt invisible, this conversation is for you.

    Episode resources

    Resolve: https://resolve.org/National Infertility Awareness week: https://www.infertilityawareness.org/

  • What To Do With Unused Embryos: Options, Big Feelings & A 3‑Step Path Forward

    What To Do With Unused Embryos: Options, Big Feelings & A 3‑Step Path Forward

    · Building your family

    Deciding what to do with unused embryos after IVF can feel overwhelming, lonely, and loaded with grief.

    In this episode, we talk honestly about the emotional weight of unused embryos and why so many people get stuck here for years. I walk through the most common options clinics offer, explain what each one actually means, and introduce additional paths like compassionate transfer and using ritual when none of the standard choices feel right for you.

    Then I share a simple 3‑step system to help you move forward when you feel completely stuck, so you can make decisions that align with your values and find some peace with whatever you choose.

    In this episode you’ll learn:

    Why unused embryos bring up such big and conflicting feelingsWhat your clinic’s standard options really involve (storage, donation, research, disposal, and more)What a compassionate transfer is and when it may be offeredHow ritual and meaning‑making can help with grief around unused embryosA practical 3‑step process to move from paralysis to the next right decision for youIf you’re facing decisions about unused embryos and feel torn, this conversation is for you. You are not alone, and there is a way through.

    For more support around IVF, donor conception, and surrogacy, check the links in the show notes.

  • Jenna Wolfe on Building a Two‑Mom Family, Donor Conception & Coming Out on TV

    Jenna Wolfe on Building a Two‑Mom Family, Donor Conception & Coming Out on TV

    · Building your family

    Journalist and TV anchor Jenna Wolfe joins therapist Lisa Schuman to share how she built a two‑mom family through fertility treatment and donor conception, came out on the Today Show, navigated a double mastectomy after a BRCA diagnosis, divorced, and is now co‑parenting two daughters. This episode is for anyone using reproductive medicine, or donor conception and worries, “Will my family really be OK?”

    We walk step‑by‑step through Jenna’s story:• Coming out publicly while pregnant and what she was most afraid of• Meeting her wife, deciding to have kids, and whose genetics to use• Fertility treatment in the public eye and choosing a sperm donor• Facing a double mastectomy as a new mom and talking to her kids about it• Divorce, building a healthy co‑parenting relationship, and focusing forward on the children• Small, doable changes that helped her get through fertility, surgery, and starting over

    If you’re building your family with fertility treatment, or donor conception, and want more structured support, you can learn about the Building Your Family education and support platform here:https://familybuilding.net/building-your-family-community/

    This episode is sponsored by Seattle Sperm Bank, a donor sperm bank focused on rigorous screening, a wide donor selection, and thoughtful support for LGBTQ+ and solo parents. Learn more here:https://www.seattlespermbank.com/building-your-family/

  • ‘Screw It’ Moments in Fertility: How Stress Quietly Shapes Your Family-Building Choices

    ‘Screw It’ Moments in Fertility: How Stress Quietly Shapes Your Family-Building Choices

    · Building your family

    When you’re going through fertility treatment, donor conception, or surrogacy, it’s completely normal to hit a point where you think, “Ugh… screw it.”

    In this solo episode, Lisa Schuman names and explains the “Screw It Principle”: the quiet ways stress, exhaustion, jealousy, and resentment slip into big decisions about clinics, donors, and agencies. She breaks down the two versions of “screw it” moments, why they feel so good in the moment, and how they can slowly pull you away from your deepest values for yourself and your future child.

    You’ll learn:

    The two types of “screw it” decisions and how they show up in fertility, donor conception, and surrogacyHow decision fatigue, jealousy, and burnout push you toward what feels comforting instead of what matches your long-term valuesA simple two-question checkpoint to catch “screw it” moments in real timeHow to gently redirect that “I’m done” energy into safer places, without judging yourselfLisa also shares a free Stress Tools Guide to help you calm your nervous system when you feel burned out, angry, or jealous, so you can return to big choices with more clarity and self-compassion. She also points you to SART, a resource for looking up official U.S. IVF clinic data so you can better align clinic choices with your values, not just your stress level.

    You are not weak for having “screw it” moments. You’re human. This episode helps you notice them before they quietly steer the parts of your family-building journey that matter most.

    Episode resources

    Grab your free ebook here: https://familybuilding.net/free-downloads/Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology (SART) - https://www.sart.org/ Fertility and Sterility: https://www.fertstert.org/

  • Inside the IVF Lab: How Clinics Keep Your Embryos Safe with AI

    Inside the IVF Lab: How Clinics Keep Your Embryos Safe with AI

    · Building your family

    Most patients never see what actually happens to their eggs and embryos once they disappear “into the lab.” In this episode, we go behind the scenes with Dr. Eduardo Hariton to unpack what safety really looks like in modern IVF: barcodes, double-checks, lab standards, and how AI is starting to support better decisions.

    Dr. Hariton earned his MD from Harvard Medical School and MBA from Harvard Business School, has published over 70 papers and presentations, and leads innovation across a large fertility network. He brings a rare perspective that combines hands-on patient care with systems-level insight into how labs actually run day to day.

    We cover:

    How eggs and embryos are labeled, tracked, and verified at every stepWhy lab conditions and protocols can quietly impact success ratesHow clinics use redundancies, checklists, and technology to prevent errorsWhere AI is already being used in IVF (and what is still early hype)What “good” answers sound like when you ask your clinic about safetyHow donor eggs, sperm, and embryos are handled and safeguardedPractical questions you can take to your own clinic without feeling adversarialIf you’re using IVF, donor gametes, or surrogacy to build your family, this conversation is designed to give you clarity and better questions, not fear.

    Guest resourcesDr. Hariton on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/haritonmd/Dr. Hariton’s website: https://rscbayarea.com/doctors/hariton/AutoIVF Technology: https://autoivf.com

    My resourcesBuilding Your Family Podcast: https://familybuilding.net/podcast/

    If you want help turning this episode into specific questions and checklists for your own journey, you’ll find guides and tools in our community.

  • Trans Family Building with Trystan Reese: Same Love, Harder Path to Parenthood

    Trans Family Building with Trystan Reese: Same Love, Harder Path to Parenthood

    · Building your family

    Trans people don’t want “special” families. They want what every parent wants: to tuck their kids in at night and know they’re safe.

    In this episode of Building Your Family, Lisa Schuman, LCSW, sits down with educator and advocate Trystan Reese to talk about trans family building: what’s the same, what’s different, and what trans parents need from clinics, communities, and allies right now.

    They cover:• Trystan’s journey as a pregnant trans man and becoming a parent• Why trans people’s desire to parent is the same as anyone’s• How fertility, pregnancy, and adoption can be more complex for trans individuals• The role of supportive communities and affirming medical care• How providers can build real trust with humility and curiosity• Legal protections like second‑parent adoption and why they matter• What non‑trans patients using donor conception or surrogacy can learn from trans families about “difference and belonging”

    Whether you’re trans, cis, a fertility patient, or a clinician, this conversation will help you better understand and support trans families in a world where family building is increasingly politicized.

    Resources & Links– Learn more about Trystan Reese: https://www.trystanreese.com/– Building Your Family community, workshops, and newsletter: https://familybuilding.net/building-your-family-community/– Learn more about Collaborate Consulting: https://collaborate.consulting/– Learn more about Transfertility: https://transfertility.co/

    Building Your Family is hosted by Lisa Schuman, LCSW, a leading expert in fertility, donor conception, and surrogacy, helping parents and professionals support children growing up in “different” families.

    #TransFamilyBuilding #TransParents #TransPregnancy #LGBTQFamily #QueerParenting #FertilityJourney#DonorConception #Surrogacy #InclusiveCare #AffirmingCare #LGBTQHealth #BuildingYourFamilyPodcast#TrystanReese #InfertilitySupport #FamilyBuilding

  • Empowering Your Fertility Journey: From Egg Freezing to Future Choices with Dr. Jaime Knopman

    Empowering Your Fertility Journey: From Egg Freezing to Future Choices with Dr. Jaime Knopman

    · Building your family

    How do you make smart, grounded choices about egg freezing today that support whatever comes next – IVF, donor conception, or deciding not to pursue treatment at all? In this episode, reproductive endocrinologist Dr. Jaime Knopman joins Lisa to unpack the real numbers, timing, and trade‑offs so you can feel more empowered and less sold to.

    We talk honestly about when egg freezing makes sense, what “ideal before 35” actually means in real life, and why success rates are never higher than about 75% – no matter what the brochure says. Dr. Knopman explains how to think about lab quality, age, and medical factors, while Lisa brings in the emotional side of planning for the possibility of future IVF or donor conception.

    In this conversation, we cover:

    How to think about fertility planning in your 20s and 30sWhen to consider egg freezing or embryos – and when it may not be worth itThe truth behind egg freezing success rates and “control is an illusion”Common myths about egg quality and what actually mattersHow today’s decisions can shape later choices, including donor conceptionWhy your lab and team are so importantChapters:

    00:00 Empowering Fertility Planning06:02 Navigating the Decision to Freeze Eggs or Embryos11:56 Addressing Concerns About Egg Quality17:57 Debunking Myths Around Egg Quality23:44 Grieving and Acceptance in Fertility29:39 The Importance of the Lab in Fertility Treatments

    If you’re in fertility treatment, thinking about egg freezing, or considering donor conception and want more emotional support and education, you can find my workshops and membership at https://familybuilding.net/

    Learn more about Dr. Jaime Knopman: https://drjaimeknopman.com/Follow Dr. Jaime Knopman on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drjaimeknopman/

    #fertilityjourney #eggfreezing#fertilityplanning #fertilityawareness#reproductivehealth #ivfjourney#donorconception #infertilitysupport#womenshealth #fertilityclinic

  • Loving Your Donor‑Conceived Child When Your Feelings Are Complicated

    Loving Your Donor‑Conceived Child When Your Feelings Are Complicated

    · Building your family

    Many intended parents secretly ask themselves: “How can I have such negative feelings about donor conception and still love my child?”

    In this episode, Lisa talks directly to that fear. She explains why you don’t have to “feel good” about donor conception to be a deeply loving, attuned parent – and how the part of you that’s grieving and the part of you that loves your child are not the same part.

    We explore:• How guilt, grief, and ambivalence can show up during and after treatment• The “two parts of you” that get intertwined during fertility treatment – and how to start gently separating them• What Lisa has seen in younger donor‑conceived people who are doing well emotionally• Why the extent to which parents are comfortable with their family story shapes how safely their children can talk about it• Small, practical steps you can take if you can’t imagine feeling fully “okay” about donor conception, but you still want to move forward

    If you’re building your family with donor eggs, sperm, or embryos and carrying a lot of complicated feelings, this conversation is for you.

    For more support and education around donor conception, visit Building Your Family:familybuilding.net/building-your-family-community/

    #donorconception #donoreggs#donorsperm #donorconceived#intendedparents #fertilitysupport#ivfjourney #ivfcommunity#infertilitysupport #familybuilding#reproductivemedicine #mentalhealth

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