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Last week, we talked about what emotional insecurity looks like, the patterns that tell you safety is missing in a relationship. This week is about what comes next: what actually creates emotional safety.
Emotionally safe relationships do not just happen by accident.
They are built through small, consistent behaviors over time. Trust, respect, honesty, and repair are skills, not lucky outcomes.
Here are six things you can practice to build more emotional safety in the relationships that matter most to you.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/841
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If you've been carrying anger, disappointment, guilt, or emotional baggage, this episode offers a powerful new perspective on healing, peace, and personal growth.
In this conversation with Danielle LaPorte, we explore why emotional healing starts with compassion instead of control. We talk about resentment, rejection, gratitude, forgiveness, emotional resilience, and the surprising connection between creating the life you want and releasing what no longer serves you.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/840
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I am obsessed with emotional intelligence. It is something I have always done naturally without knowing what it was called.
Emotional intelligence, or EQ, measures your capacity to understand, perceive, and manage emotions, your own and other people's.
While IQ measures cognitive and logical ability, EQ measures your capacity for interpersonal success. Higher emotional intelligence is linked to better stress management, more satisfying relationships, and greater leadership potential at work.
The eight traits in this episode are how higher EQ shows up in real life, and they are all skills you can practice to raise yours at any age.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/839
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Stop falling into the anxious-avoidant attachment trap. In this episode, learn how to build a healthy relationship and experience corrective love. Today, I'm sitting down for a deeply personal, raw, and honest conversation with my longtime friend John Kim (aka The Angry Therapist) to discuss his brand new book, Love Hard on Purpose: Toss the Blueprints, Build Something Honest.
We are stripping away the fairytale narratives and diving into what it actually takes to build a secure relationship from scratch. John opens up about his heavy heart following a recent relationship rupture, how losing his home in the Altadena fires completely transformed his identity, and his own realization about childhood mother wounds and shadow addictions. I also share my own journey healing a father wound and breaking free from high-functioning codependency.
Whether you are single on purpose or trying to navigate a long-term partnership, this episode will show you how to move past the trauma breakers and rewire your body to accept a calm, healthy, and deeply intimate love.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/838
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A lot of what gets called "setting a boundary" out on the internet and in real life isn't a boundary at all.
Boundaries are not punishment.
They are not a lever for controlling other people.
They are not what you do when someone makes you mad.
I wrote a whole book about this called Boundary Boss, and the definition is simple. Your boundaries are your preferences, your desires, your limits, and your deal breakers, plus your ability to communicate them. That is the whole thing.
Misnaming a boundary does not just sound wrong; it makes the work harder. When you call a threat a boundary, communication has become confusing, and you may keep fighting about the same things on a loop.
Here are the five most common boundary impostors.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/837
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In this episode, I sit down with bestselling author Jane Green to talk about her rewilding memoir and her powerful journey of midlife reinvention.
We explore what happens when a woman reclaims her identity after success, marriage, and emotional breakdown — and what it really means to rebuild a life rooted in authenticity, boundaries, and self-worth.
We also dive into themes like the empty nester identity crisis, people pleasing recovery, and how somatic healing can help us process deep emotional trauma stored in the body.
If you've ever asked yourself how to rebuild your life after divorce, or how to stop people-pleasing and finally set healthy boundaries, this conversation will resonate deeply with you.
This is not just an interview — it's a conversation about coming home to yourself.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/836
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"It's fine." "I got it." "Don't worry about me." "I'll figure it out."
If you say one of these without thinking, several times a day, this episode is for you. These are the phrases that keep us stuck in high-functioning codependent behavior, and they sound generous. But there is an invisibility to what we are doing, and a cost.
These automatic behaviors are a nervous system response, habituated over years. As high-functioning codependents (HFCs), we react before we think, the moment a problem comes up. Learning to pause is the intervention. That moment before you say I got it is where the work happens, because on autopilot it is hard to change what comes out of your mouth.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/835
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Ever felt ignored, dismissed, or completely rushed by your doctor? In this episode, OB-GYN physician assistant and medical advocate Nikki Sapiro Vincier exposes the systemic flaws inside reproductive healthcare—and shares exactly how you can take control of your medical care today.
I sat down with Nikki to unpack the disturbing reality of medical gaslighting, why it takes an average of 7 to 10 years to get an endometriosis diagnosis, and why "breaking up with your doctor" might actually save your life. Whether you are navigating the gaps in postpartum care, trying to survive perimenopause, or just trying to get a straight answer from your clinician, Nikki provides the ultimate step-by-step guide to triaging your own symptoms, gathering your "receipts," and demanding the care you deserve.
It's time to stop passively existing in a system that wasn't built to serve you.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/834
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Do you know what you need? Not what your kids need, or what your partner needs, or what your team at work needs. What you need.
In my therapy practice, when I ask high-functioning women what they need for the coming week, many of them either freeze or hand me a list of responsibilities. Things they have to get done. These things are not the same thing.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/833
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Have you ever found yourself paralyzed by a major life decision, desperately wishing you just had the right answer?
In this episode of the show, I sit down with author and journalist Simone Stolzoff to dive into a topic we all struggle with: our deep aversion to the unknown. Simone shares the inspiration behind his latest book, How to Not Know: The Value of Uncertainty in a World That Demands Answers, and breaks down how our hyper-connected world has ruined our ability to sit with ambiguity.
If you're tired of overthinking, catastrophizing, or trying to control the future, this episode is exactly what you need to expand your window of tolerance and reclaim your peace.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/832
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For the past six months, people have been asking me to do an episode on managing anxiety. We are living in genuinely anxious times, and the real things to be anxious about are not in short supply. So here it is.
For me, anxiety feels like unease. Like I am forgetting something. Like something is wrong, even when I cannot point to what it is.
I have noticed a clear uptick in clients describing this lately, too. Difficulty sleeping, intrusive thoughts, a body that cannot relax, the sense of panic gathering. This is anxiety that interferes with daily life and makes it difficult, or even impossible, to do the things we want to do. If this is you, you are not alone, and there are things that help.
Read the show notes for today's episode terricole.com/831
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This conversation with the incredible Dr. Paul Conti changed how I look at mental health. We've all been taught that we're driven by aggression or pleasure—but Paul reveals there is a third "Generative Drive" that is the actual key to our wellness.
In this episode, we dive deep into his new book, What's Going Right. We talk about why we are so "lost" in negativity, how to move past the stigma of mental health, and the practical "self-inquiry" tools you can use to pull your unconscious patterns out of the "basement" and into the light.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/830
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Most little girls grow up being cared for by their mothers.
Some little girls grow up caring for their mothers.
This episode is for the second group. We are talking about parentified daughters. What it means, why it happens, and how it may still be impacting your life now.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/829
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I've always said that our relationships are the mirrors of our internal world, but what happens when you realize a friendship has reached its expiration date? In this episode, I'm joined by the incredible Alex Elle (New York Times bestselling author of The Company We Keep) to dive deep into the "taboo" side of friendship.
We're talking about why it's okay to outgrow people, how to handle that "visceral" feeling of misalignment, and why some of our most sacred bonds are actually voluntary. If you've ever felt like you're walking on eggshells with a friend or struggling with the guilt of moving on, this conversation is for you. We're curing the "disease to please" and learning how to cultivate a VIP section that actually feels safe.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/828
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We talk about everything now. Trauma, therapy, childhood, the things that happened to us, and the things we are still working through. Almost everything is fair game.
Except this one.
When the relationship with your mother is a painful one, the cultural agreement is that you keep it to yourself. On today's episode, I'm sharing why that's a bad idea and what you can do to break the taboo.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/827
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Struggling with anxiety or overthinking? Learn the science of EFT Tapping for instant stress relief and nervous system regulation.
In this episode, I'm joined by New York Times bestselling author Jessica Ortner to dive into her brand-new book, Rewired.
Jessica reveals the science behind EFT Tapping and how it can literally lower your cortisol by 43% in minutes. We explore why your brain gets "stuck" in loops of overthinking and how to send a signal of safety to your nervous system so you can finally feel at ease. Whether you're struggling with self-sabotage, boundary-setting, or parenting anxiety, Jessica's approach is a total game-changer.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/826
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If you had a mean or rejecting mother, you probably learned early not to talk about it. People don't want to believe it. They say things like "you only have one mother" or "she did her best," and suddenly you're defending your own experience to someone who can't imagine having it.
That isolation is often the first wound.
This episode continues the mother wound conversation from last week. While every story is different, there are patterns I've seen consistently across almost 30 years of clinical work with daughters of mean and rejecting mothers. Here's what the research and the therapy room both show.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/825
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Is it possible to heal when the person who raised you continues to cause chaos?
In this episode, Terri sits down with journalist and editor Ashley Oerman to dismantle the stigma surrounding toxic family dynamics. Following the viral conversation sparked by recent national debates on family estrangement, they dive into the heart of a question many struggle with: Do you have to go "No Contact," or is "Low Contact" a viable path to peace?
From her "origin story" in therapy to the realization that her social anxiety was a symptom of a deeper family wound, Ashley offers a roadmap for anyone grieving the relationship they never had.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/824
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Have you ever wondered if your relationship with your mother was normal? Or noticed patterns in your adult relationships and traced them back to something that happened long before you had words for it?
Mother-daughter relationships can be among the most complicated we ever have. Whether the dynamic between you was loving, painful, confusing, or somewhere in between, it impacted you. After almost 30 years as a clinician, I've seen seven recurring archetypes, and that's what this episode covers: what each one looks like, and the lasting impact it can have on your adult life.
One thing before we start. Mother here means whoever raised you. It could be a grandmother, an older sibling, or an aunt. What matters is the dynamic, not the biology.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/823
Find my mother wound course at terricole.com/motherwound
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Is the "Male Loneliness Epidemic" actually a human connection crisis? I'm sitting down with clinical psychologist Dr. Morgan Anderson to break down why avoidant attachment is skyrocketing and how we can rebel against a system that keeps us isolated.
In this episode, Dr. Morgan shares her personal journey from "relational trauma" to becoming a secure attachment expert. We dive deep into the rising trend of AI partners, why "over-functioning" is killing your joy, and the radical power of becoming a "Love Scientist." Whether you're navigating the apps or trying to heal a long-term partnership, this conversation is your roadmap to secure, high-IQ love.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/822
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