Episodes
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The Most Powerful Question A Woman Can Ask Herself: "What Do I Want?" | Sofi (The Oddity)
What happens when you stop living according to everyone else's expectations and start making decisions based on what you truly want? In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle sits down with digital creator, storyteller and podcaster Sofi (The Odditty) for a deeply honest conversation about reclaiming ownership over every part of your life.
From questioning societal expectations as a child to navigating life as a young African woman in America, Sofi shares how choosing herself, again and again, has shaped the woman she is today. Together, they unpack why financial independence is about more than money, why emotional regulation is one of the greatest investments a woman can make, what it means to redefine beauty and desirability on your own terms, and why being bold is often the beginning of freedom.
In this episode:
Why asking "What do I want?" can change your lifeReclaiming ownership over your identityGrowing up questioning societal expectationsMoving to America after surviving sexual harassment in universityWhy financial freedom creates personal freedomThe emotional work every woman deserves to invest inTherapy, journaling and emotional regulationChoosing authenticity over approvalBald heads, beauty standards and reclaiming femininityRedefining desirability beyond the male gazeBuilding community without losing yourselfWhy bold women create extraordinary livesConnect with Sofi
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_odditty
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theodditty
Podcast: Am I Too Loud?: https://www.youtube.com/@amitooloudpod
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If this episode challenged you, inspired you or reminded you of a woman who's learning to choose herself, share it with all the mannerless, or almost mannerless women in your life. -
Your Marriage Ended. Your Story Didn't. | Finding Yourself After Divorce with Faith Guchu
Divorce isn't just the end of a marriage. It's the loss of shared dreams, identity, routines, belonging, and sometimes even yourself. In this week's Mid Week Tease, Adelle sits down with accredited psychologist Faith Guchu for an honest conversation about what healing after divorce really looks like.
Together, they unpack the grief nobody prepares you for, why so many women lose themselves in relationships, how shame keeps us stuck, rebuilding your support system, navigating co-parenting, and how to know you're truly ready for your next chapter. Whether you're walking through a divorce, supporting someone who is, or simply want to understand how to hold space for people experiencing this kind of loss, this episode is for you.
In this episode, we discuss:
The many kinds of grief that come with divorceWhy divorce can feel like a personal failureLosing your identity inside a relationshipThe pressure women face to "keep the marriage together"How divorce changes friendships and family dynamicsRebuilding your support system after separationCo-parenting with compassionHealing before entering another relationshipWhy the end of a marriage isn't the end of your storyJoin Our Upcoming Wellness Talk Divorce Care:
When the Marriage Ends, Finding Yourself Again!
Healing after divorce takes more than time, it takes support, understanding, and practical tools. Join accredited psychologist Faith Guchu for an interactive virtual Wellness Talk where we'll go deeper into the themes discussed in this episode and explore practical ways to navigate life after divorce. Together we'll cover:
The Grief Nobody Talks AboutThe Weight of ExpectationsUntangling Yourself From the RelationshipRebuilding Your VillageHealing Before the Next ChapterCo-Parenting, Family & New RealitiesRebuilding a Life You LoveSaturday, 25th July
10:00 AM EAT
Virtual (Join from anywhere in the world)
Book your ticket here:
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If this episode resonated with you, share it with a woman who needs the reminder that healing is possible, and that the end of a marriage is not the end of her story. -
Missing episodes?
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"I Was Declared Cancer-Free"
At just 25 years old, Annkia was diagnosed with a rare form of bladder cancer after living with unexplained pain for most of her life.In the final part of her story, she shares the emotional days leading up to major surgery, surviving a life-threatening bout of sepsis, and the remarkable care she received from a doctor who not only treated her illness but restored her hope.
This is a story about resilience, compassionate healthcare, and what becomes possible when expertise is matched with humanity.
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#LegallyCluelessPodcast #LegallyCluelessAfrica #AfricanStories #Storytelling #Healing #BladderCancerAwareness #CancerSurvivor #PodcastKE -
What happens when the woman the world celebrates isn't the same woman you experience when you're alone?
In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle sits down with DJ, broadcaster, creative entrepreneur, and healer Precious Nkadimeng (Spoken Priestess) for a powerful conversation about self-trust, spirituality, identity, and the journey back to yourself.
Together, they explore the tension between achievement and authenticity, the cost of self-doubt, ancestral guidance, spiritual awakening, and why choosing yourself is one of the most radical things a woman can do.
In This Episode
The gap between who the world sees and who you really areBuilding an identity beyond your workSelf-doubt, confidence, and learning to trust yourselfDepression, healing, and confronting what's been hidden awaySpirituality beyond religionAncestors, dreams, and intuitionPrecious' journey through traditional spiritual initiationWhy women need to stop asking for permissionThe power of making choices that honour yourselfWhat it means to live authenticallyConnect With Precious
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/spokenpriestess
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@spokenpriestess_
Resources From Precious
"I'd say the book: 5AM Club has really inspired me a lot this past year.
I'm currently reading the Body Keeps A Score and it's also enlightening, it's a book about how trauma is stored in our bodies"
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Your share could be exactly what another woman needs to hear today. -
The Lie Women Are Sold About Being Good
What if one of the greatest obstacles to your freedom isn't other people, it's the version of womanhood you've been taught to perform? In this episode of Mid Week Tease, Adelle explores the hidden costs of being "a good woman," why so many women struggle to choose themselves, and the deeper fear that often sits underneath self-abandonment: the fear of freedom.
From childhood conditioning to the burden of responsibility that comes with creating your own life, this episode invites you to question the scripts you've inherited and ask yourself a powerful question:
Am I living a life I've chosen, or one I've inherited?
In This Episode
How girls learn to become "good"When goodness becomes an identityThe hidden cost of self-abandonmentWhy being good doesn't protect us from painThe fear of freedom and responsibilityWhy women fear judgment more than failureThe difference between being good and being wholeChoosing a life that is truly your ownJoin the LCA Newsletter:
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If this episode resonated with you, share it with a woman who's learning that her worth is not determined by how much she sacrifices for others. -
For years, Annkia knew that something wasn't right.She had spent most of her life living with pain, navigating hospital visits, procedures, medication, and conflicting diagnoses. But despite everything she was experiencing, the answers never seemed to come.
In Part 2 of her story, Annkia shares what happened when she finally met a doctor who listened. What followed was a series of tests that revealed the true cause of the pain she had been living with since childhood: a rare form of bladder cancer.
This is a story about resilience, self-advocacy, hope, and the life-changing power of being believed.
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#LegallyCluelessPodcast #LegallyCluelessAfrica #AfricanStories #Healing #CancerSurvivor #Storytelling #KenyanPodcast #BladderCancerAwareness -
Pleasure, Freedom & The Myth Of The Good Woman | Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah
What does it mean to be a "good woman"?
And who benefits when women spend their lives trying to fit into that role?
In the first episode of this special season of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango sits down with writer, activist and author Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah for a deeply liberating conversation about pleasure, freedom, womanhood and self-definition! Together, they unpack the fear-based messages many African women receive about intimacy, the pressure to be socially acceptable, the complicated relationship many women have with their bodies, and what it takes to build a life rooted in curiosity, autonomy and joy.
Nana also reflects on lessons from documenting the stories of African women across the continent, the inspiration behind her books The Sex Lives of African Women and Seeking Sexual Freedom, and why reclaiming pleasure is about far more than intimacy, it's about reclaiming ourselves. In this episode:
The messages African girls receive about being a "good woman"Growing up with fear, shame and silence around intimacyLearning to feel at home in your bodyBody image, beauty standards and self-acceptanceWhy pleasure is politicalThe freedom to define womanhood for yourselfUnlearning what no longer serves youReclaiming African traditions around pleasure and womanhoodWhy curiosity can be a pathway to liberationCreating a life that feels like freedomConnect With Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah:
Website: https://www.darkoathewriter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dfordarkoa
Substack: https://substack.com/@nanadarkoa
The Sex Lives of African Women: https://www.instagram.com/thesexlivesofafricanwomen
Sexual Freedom Festival: https://www.instagram.com/sexualfreedomfestival
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If this conversation resonated with you, share it with the mannerless, or almost mannerless, women in your life.
#ForMannerlessWomen #LegallyCluelessAfrica #NanaDarkoaSekyiamah #AfricanWomen #Womanhood #Freedom #Pleasure #SelfDiscovery #AfricanStories -
This week on Mid Week Tease, we're talking about generational cycles! Not just the obvious ones, but the invisible family rules, coping mechanisms, beliefs and survival strategies that quietly shape our lives. Many of us inherit ways of thinking, loving, communicating and surviving long before we're old enough to question them. We grow up believing they're simply part of who we are. But what happens when we begin to realize some of what we've called personality is actually inherited pain?
In this episode, Adelle explores:
The unspoken rules every family passes downThe survival strategies we mistake for personality traitsWhy the first person to choose differently is often labelled difficultThe difference between understanding and excusing our parentsHow trauma can be passed down through behaviours, not just experiencesWhat it truly means to become a cycle breakerThe legacy we're creating through our healingBecause breaking generational cycles isn't just about what you're refusing to pass on. It's also about what you're choosing to build.
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For years, Annkia knew something wasn't right. At just 9 years old, she was living with constant pain, countless trips to the bathroom, and long periods away from school. As doctors searched for answers, she found herself navigating a childhood marked by hospital visits, procedures, medication, and the loneliness of being misunderstood.
In Part 1 of her story, Annkia shares what it was like growing up with a chronic health condition, being dismissed by adults who should have helped, missing school because of pain, and carrying the emotional weight of an illness that nobody seemed able to explain.This is a story about resilience, survival, and the lasting impact of not being believed.
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This week on The Mid Week Tease, Adelle explores one of the most confusing relationship dynamics: loving someone who is deeply attached to being the victim. Not everyone who has experienced pain is stuck in victimhood. Many people carry trauma, grief and heartbreak while still taking accountability for their actions. But what happens when someone's wounds become their identity? When every ex was toxic, every friendship ended in betrayal, every boss was unfair, and every conflict somehow ends with them being the injured party? In this episode, Adelle unpacks:
The difference between pain and victimhoodWhy empathy can sometimes become self-abandonmentThe hidden entitlement that often sits beneath chronic victimhoodHow accountability gets reversed in unhealthy relationshipsWhy so many women become trapped in the role of healer, rescuer or saviourThe difference between someone who is healing and someone who is attached to staying hurtWhy you cannot do someone else's healing for themThe question every woman should ask herself before staying in these dynamicsIf you've ever found yourself exhausted from carrying the emotional weight of a relationship, this episode is for you.
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As a child, Jeanette Soi was repeatedly made to feel like she wasn't smart enough. In part two of her story, she shares how years of favoritism, public humiliation, and discouraging comments from teachers followed her into high school, shaping how she saw herself and her future.
By Form Two, the pressure had become so overwhelming that she began questioning whether life was worth living. But through the unwavering support of her parents, a growing belief in herself, and a purpose bigger than her grades, Jeanette slowly began to rewrite the story she had been told about who she was. This is a powerful story about resilience, self-worth, and why a child's potential can never be measured by exam results.
This is part two of Jeanette's story.
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Keywords: teacher favoritism, school trauma, academic pressure, childhood experiences, mental health, self-worth, resilience, overcoming self-doubt, education system, healing childhood wounds, African stories, Kenyan podcast, Legally Clueless Podcast. -
This week on The Mid Week Tease, Adelle explores a question many of us rarely ask ourselves:
Who are you beyond your wounds?
As women, we're often praised for how much we can endure. We celebrate resilience, sacrifice, and survival. But what happens when pain becomes the primary way we understand ourselves? In this episode, Adelle unpacks why so many women build identities around struggle, why suffering is often mistaken for strength, and how pain can quietly become the centre of our lives.
She also explores the radical possibility that joy, delight, pleasure, beauty, and aliveness are not rewards we earn after healing, they are part of what it means to be human. If you've ever found yourself defining yourself by what you've survived, this episode is an invitation to imagine who you might be beyond your pain.
In this episode:
How pain can become part of our identityWhy women are often rewarded for sufferingThe difference between honouring pain and living inside itHow struggle becomes a measure of worthWhy joy, delight and pleasure deserve a place in our livesThe question every healing journey must eventually answer: What am I healing toward?Connect with us:
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When Jeanette Soi was growing up, school became a place where she slowly began to question her worth. In this deeply relatable episode, Jeanette shares memories of being publicly shamed for her grades, experiencing favoritism from teachers, and carrying the painful belief that her academic performance determined her future.
As teachers and classmates repeatedly reinforced the idea that she wasn't smart enough, she began to internalize those messages and doubt herself. But behind her was a family that never stopped believing in her. This is part one of Jeanette's story.
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What if the things women have been taught to “just endure” are actually signs that something is wrong?
In this season finale of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango is joined by Consultant Obstetrician & Gynecologist Dr Claire Kinuthia for one of the most important conversations we’ve had on the show.Together, they unpack menstrual cycles, PMS, PMDD, PCOS, fibroids, endometriosis, perimenopause and menopause, while also exploring the ways women’s pain has historically been minimized and dismissed in medicine.
This episode is eye-opening, affirming and deeply necessary for every woman trying to better understand her body.
Listen to Dr Claire’s podcast:
Circling the Rabbit Hole Podcast https://www.instagram.com/ctrh_podcast/
Follow Dr Claire Kinuthia: I
nstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.clairekinuthia/
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This week on The Mid Week Tease, Adelle Onyango unpacks the different kinds of rest and why sleep alone may not be fixing your exhaustion. So many of us are burnt out in ways we haven’t learned to name. We sleep, take breaks, scroll online, binge shows and still feel tired. Why? Because not all exhaustion is physical.
In this episode, Adelle explores the 7 different types of rest, from emotional rest and sensory rest to creative, mental, social, physical, and spiritual rest, and how chronic overstimulation, emotional labor, burnout, and constant productivity culture are affecting our wellbeing.
This episode is a reminder that rest is not laziness. It is restoration. Listen if you’ve been feeling:
emotionally drainedmentally exhaustedoverstimulatedcreatively burnt outdisconnected from yourselftired no matter how much you sleep#TheMidWeekTease #LegallyCluelessAfrica #MentalWellness
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In this episode of the Legally Clueless podcast, Annitah Rae shares the second part of her deeply personal story. She opens up about surviving domestic violence in her marriage, becoming a young mother, struggling with alcoholism, navigating fame and media success while battling depression and suicidal thoughts privately, and the long journey toward healing, accountability, and self-awareness.
Annitah also reflects on the difficult but powerful process of no longer seeing herself only as a victim of her story, but learning how to confront the ways unresolved trauma shaped her choices, relationships, and sense of self. This episode is an honest conversation about survival, accountability, healing, addiction, self-worth, and choosing yourself.
Connect With Annitah Rae:
https://www.instagram.com/annitahraey/
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#LegallyCluelessAfrica #LegallyCluelessPodcast #AfricanStories #MentalHealthAwareness -
This week on For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango sits down with activist, civic creator and political commentator Tatiana Gicheru for a powerful conversation about courage, womanhood, activism and choosing yourself unapologetically.
Tatiana opens up about:
Standing up to authority from a young ageFinding her voice through blogging & storytellingPleasure, shame & reclaiming ownership of women’s bodiesThe 2024 Finance Bill protests & documenting injusticeFear, surveillance & continuing to speak up anywayInternet backlash, misogyny & online bullyingIntergenerational sisterhood & learning from older womenWhy women need to stop shrinking themselvesThis episode is a reminder that speaking up doesn’t mean you’re fearless,
it means you choose your values anyway.
Connect With Tatiana: https://www.instagram.com/tatianagicheru/
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This week on The Mid Week Tease, Adelle unpacks emotional abuse in romantic relationships what it is, how it manifests, why it’s often difficult to identify, and the long-term impact it can have on your nervous system, self-worth and sense of reality. Many people only recognize abuse when it becomes physical. But emotional abuse can be quieter, subtler and deeply destabilizing. It can look like gaslighting, emotional withdrawal, control disguised as love, walking on eggshells, chronic criticism, emotional unpredictability and constantly second-guessing yourself.
In this episode, Adelle explores:
What emotional abuse actually isThe psychology behind gaslighting and trauma bondsWhy emotionally abusive relationships are difficult to leaveHow emotional abuse impacts your nervous systemSigns a relationship may be emotionally unsafeRebuilding self-trust after emotional harmThe episode also references insights from therapists and trauma experts including Dr. Ramani Durvasula, Dr. Gabor Maté, Nedra Glover Tawwab and Lundy Bancroft.
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In this episode of the Legally Clueless podcast, media personality, mental health advocate and GBV activist Annitah Rae shares the first part of her deeply personal story. She opens up about growing up feeling deeply loved by her father but struggling through a painful relationship with her mother, becoming rebellious as a teenager, substance use, running away from home, surviving life on the streets at 14, and the traumatic sexual assault that changed her life forever.
This episode is an honest conversation about pain, survival, trauma, mental health, and the ways unresolved childhood wounds can shape a young person’s life.
Connect With Annitah Rae:
https://www.instagram.com/annitahraey/
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#LegallyCluelessAfrica #LegallyCluelessPodcast #AfricanStories #MentalHealthAwareness -
This week on For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango sits down with lawyer and entrepreneur Bev Munga, founder of Gspot Kenya and popularly known as “The Vibrating Lawyer.” In this bold and honest conversation, Bev opens up about:
Building one of Kenya’s most talked-about pleasure brandsThe backlash she faced for centering women’s pleasureChoosing a child-free lifeSolo travel as self-careFulfillment outside motherhoodFreedom, autonomy, and redefining womanhood on her own termsConnect with Bev Munga:
https://www.instagram.com/theevibratinglawyer
Follow Gspot Kenya:
https://www.instagram.com/gspotkenya_
Join Bev's Childfree Community:
We've had to pull down the link as the group has reached capacity.
Follow Bev on instagram for more information.
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