Episodes
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Do you ever feel like your relationships are stuck in a frustrating cycle of chasing unavailable and avoidant partners? You might be reliving dynamics you learned as a child. In this episode, we're diving into 5 Signs You Had Emotionally Immature Parents and how those early experiences might be influencing your adult relationships.
From unmet emotional needs to the deep-seated urge to "fix" or "earn" love, we’re exploring how your upbringing shapes who you chase and why emotionally unavailable partners feel familiar.
This is about understanding your story and rewriting it. Let’s heal the patterns that keep you stuck so you can stop chasing and start thriving.
Tune in for insights, validation, and some practical tips to help you take the first step toward breaking the cycle.
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In this episode of Lessons in Attachment, we dive into a common but unspoken challenge for anxious attachers, 'separation anxiety' for adults. While we might think of separation anxiety as something only children experience, actually, it can be a deeply distressing reality for adults with anxious attachment patterns. Whether it’s the constant “what if” worries about your partner leaving, fears for their safety, or anxiety about time spent apart, the thoughts become overwhelming and exhausting.
Listen as I unpack some common cognitive patterns that drive adult separation anxiety.
If this topic resonates with you, be sure to check out my Attachment Recovery Gym, where you’ll find a full bundle designed to help you work through these struggles: from workshops, to affirmations, to somatic practices.
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In this episode, Carly Ann shares a powerful 5 step-tool designed to help you find calm when anxious attachment leaves you feeling triggered and overwhelmed. If you’re someone who struggles with anxious attachment and you have reactive impulses, this tool will guide you to pause, ground yourself, and regain control before taking action you might regret.
I walk you through each step of using this technique effectively, sharing insights on how to get the absolute most from it so it becomes second nature in tough moments.
Beyond just the tool itself, this episode is packed with golden gems on making self-soothing techniques more effective, tailored of course towards anxious attachers, and real-life ideas to strengthen your secure self.
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EPISODE: Anxious Attachment or SituationOther useful links:
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In this episode we explore self-love from the perspective of anxious attachment. Over on social media (HERE), Carly Ann has been discussing how to communicate with an avoidant attachment - to do this whilst loving yourself is key.
What is Self-LoveWhy people with an anxious attachment struggle to self-love as adultsHow to practice self love using S-E-L-F-L-O-V-E as your guild
Whether you are single or in a relationship, this episode will provide you with some epic gems to support your healing journey today
That's why in this episode you will lear:
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Do you want to communicate better and more effectively with a dismissive avoidant person? In this episode, Carly Ann discusses 5 common communication challenges faced by anxious attachers when interacting with avoidant partners. These are 5 things that push them away (even though you don't mean to). Understanding these mistakes is essential for improving relationship dynamics and giving the anxious-avoidant dynamic a better shot at connection.
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In this episode, Carly Ann shares three practical tools to help you calm your anxiety when it feels overwhelming. Whether you're stuck in a cycle of overthinking or feeling emotionally flooded, these self-soothing techniques will guide you to regain control and find some balance when you have lost yourself. Perfect for anxious attachers looking for quick, effective strategies to use in the heat of the moment.
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In this episode we dive into the 'Expectation Gap' with our special guest, exploring what happens when life doesn’t go according to plan. Have you ever felt like you’re not where you thought you'd be by now? Maybe 30 feels like you should be further along, or you're panicking about running out of time. This episode is here to break down the pressure and set realistic goals, especially if you’re juggling a lot of them.
From understanding your relationship timeline to meeting someone, this episode is packed with great insights. Plus, Kate shares 4 steps to help you tackle any goal you're struggling with. Whether it’s career, love, or personal growth - this ep has got you covered
Loved this episode? Our guest Kate Berski has a new book that you can pre-order HEREOther useful links:
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Do you have an anxious attachment style? If so, you likely know all about being your own biggest critic. In this episode, Carly Ann explores how to quieten your inner critic using the 3 core elements of Self-Compassion, based on the work of Paul Gilbert & Kristen Neff. If you struggle with anxious attachment, self-criticism, or self-blame, this episode is for you. We’ll break down3 core elements of self-compassion that you can bring into your day to day life.
Becoming Secure: HEREOther useful links:
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In this very honest episode, Carly Ann tackles the often tricky terrain of expressing needs a way that is "reasonable" versus "too much".
We’ll share relatable examples that highlight the fine line between healthy expression and being driven by anxious attachment. Discover times it is unacceptable to be called needy VS times we might also need to look inwards.
This is all about empowering you to embrace your emotions without shame and being able to look at yourself and your relationships more honestly. This episode invites you to reflect on your experiences, helping you understand that your needs matter and that how you deliver them can make all the difference.
Tune in for an honest conversation designed to resonate with anxious attachers.
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Do you have an anxious attachment style? If so, you likely ruminate - on the past. Over your ex, what you wore, what you should have said, their tone of voice.... and why why why,
In this episode, Carly Ann discusses rumination and what makes it worse - amongst that you will take away some tips to help you!
Becoming Secure: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/becoming-secure-courseOther useful links:
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Do you have an anxious attachment style? In this episode, we get real about four times your anxious attachment hits the hardest - when you're most likely to spiral and feel out of control.
From the struggles of nighttime to the stress of sudden changes in routine, Carly Ann breaks down why these moments trigger intense anxiety. We will discuss the moments when it feels like your attachment issues are taking over. If you're ready to stop letting these key moments control you, have a listen to this episode
Becoming Secure: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/becoming-secure-courseOther useful links:
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In this episode, Carly Ann discusses a tender and often overlooked topic - grief and its deep connection to anxious attachment. People with anxious attachment tend to experience unique and profound types of complex grief, often tied to unmet emotional needs, lost relationships, and the fear of abandonment. We'll explore 5 different types of unresolved grief that can manifest in daily life when ignored.
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Do you have an anxious attachment style? We all have core wounds that live in our subconscious. If you have an anxious attachment style, it's likey you fall into a certain type of wounds. In this episode Carly Ann discusses
What core wounds areImpact of Your Core WoundsAnxious Attachment Core WoundsHealing Core WoundsA reflective practice to help you identify your core wounds todayBecoming Secure HERE
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Are you on a journey of healing your anxious attachment? Well, what exactly does healing mean?
There is a lot of misleading information about what it means to heal... what are you allowing yourself to believe?
We know it's not easy, right? We know you want it to be quicker...You want it to be easier! That makes sense to us. But still.. what is it??
In this episode Carly Ann discusses some TRUTHS about healing your anxious attachment. Not only will you hear what healing IS, you will also hear what it is NOT.
https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/becoming-secure-courseOther useful links:
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Do you have an anxious attachment? In this episode, Carly Ann offers a practical tool and five essential questions that you can use daily to help manage your triggers. By planning ahead and taking proactive steps, you can significantly reduce and understand your triggers over time.
Tune in to learn how to navigate your anxious attachment and walk away with five powerful questions that will empower you to manage your triggers more effectively each day.
Curiously Triggered: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/Curiously-TriggeredOther useful links:
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FREE WORKSHOP: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/anxious-to-secure-free-workshop
In this episode of Lessons in Attachment Carly Ann gives the key indicators that you or someone you know might be experiencing anxious attachment in relationships. If you often feel insecure, crave constant reassurance, or have a deep fear of abandonment, this episode is a must-listen.
We'll break down the most common signs of anxious attachment so you can recognise these patterns in yourself and others.Other useful links:
The Attachment Recovery Gym FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram Book a Call -
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Are you on a journey of healing your anxious attachment? Well, what exactly does healing mean?
There is a lot of misleading information about what it means to heal... what are you allowing yourself to believe?
We know it's not easy, right? We know you want it to be quicker...You want it to be easier! That makes sense to us. But still.. what is it??
In this episode Carly Ann discusses some TRUTHS about healing your anxious attachment. Not only will you hear what healing IS, you will also hear what it is NOT.
Becoming Secure Course: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/becoming-secure-courseOther useful links:
The Attachment Recovery Gym FREE RESOURCES Follow Carly Ann on Instagram Book a Call -
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Welcome to Lessons in Attachment! If you struggle with anxious attachment, past experiences can quickly lead you into mind-traps when triggered. Recognising these patterns is crucial for healing attachment wounds and moving from anxious to secure.
In this episode, Carly Ann explores four common cognitive reactions that occur when your anxious attachment is triggered. You might experience flashbacks, where past traumatic events replay in your mind. Intrusive imagery can also occur, with vivid, distressing mental images. Automatic thoughts, often negative and self-critical, may flood your mind.
Tune in to understand these responses and take a key step towards a more secure attachment style. Don't miss this essential guide to overcoming anxious attachment and fostering healthier relationships!Other useful links:
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Welcome to Lessons in Attachment! If you have an anxious attachment style, you know the struggle of feeling obsessed and preoccupied with someone you like. Have you ever heard of 'outside-in orientation'? It's a common tendency among people with anxious attachment.
In this episode, Carly Ann discusses some of the reasons behind this obsession and preoccupation you experiencer.
Discover how this mindset leads to neglecting and self-abandoning the most important relationship of all—the one with yourself. Tune in to learn how to break free from these patterns and nurture a healthier connection with yourself and others.Other useful links:
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Do you have an anxious attachment style? If so, it's very likely you know all about being triggered and having your anxious attachment system activated.
Perhaps your date has cancelled, they haven't text back, or your partner seems different towards you.
In this episode, Carly Ann shares practical strategies for managing anxious attachment triggers. Drawing on her personal experiences and professional expertise, Carly offers evidence-based advice to help you recognise and handle emotional triggers in your relationships. This is especially important if you are on a healing journey to becoming securely attached.
If you struggle with anxious attachment and want to develop a more secure attachment style, this episode is for you.Tune in for essential tips and actionable insights that can help you today!Other useful links:
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