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In this special episode, I’m bringing you affirmations designed to support you through the holiday season and beyond. Living with anxiety can make boundaries, self-love, and emotional security feel like constant battle but today, we’re flipping the script.
These affirmations are here to help you reclaim your power, set boundaries that protect your peace, and nurture the secure version of yourself you’re striving to become. Whether you’re navigating tricky family dynamics, reinforcing your sense of worth, or dreaming of a more confident you, this episode is your go-to guide for feeling grounded and self-assured.
And don’t forget: for just a few more days, you can join The Attachment Recovery Gym for a special December deal of £199 for a full year’s access. It’s your chance to get all the tools, resources, and support you need to heal and grow in 2025.
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Have you ever felt that gut-wrenching moment when someone you care about pulls away? You’re left questioning everything from what you did wrong, why this always seems to happen, and if it’s somehow all your fault. But what if the reason had nothing to do with you?
In this episode, I dive deep into why people suddenly withdraw and what you can do to protect yourself as the anxious attacher. You’ll learn how their early experiences shaped their patterns and why their self-protection mechanisms kick in.
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Do you ever feel like your anxious attachment is just too much for others to handle? Maybe you’ve been in situations where you needed support, but the person you turned to couldn’t quite meet your needs. This can trigger big emotions, anger, or feelings of rejection, leaving you wondering why they don’t understand what you’re going through.
In this episode, I dive into what it feels like to be met with misunderstanding as an anxious attacher and explore how to navigate those moments. You’ll learn why others might struggle to get your needs and how to approach these situations with compassion.
Whether you’re looking to improve communication with your partner, manage your expectations, or find ways to self-soothe when support isn’t there, this episode offers practical insights to help you handle those overwhelming moments.
If you’ve ever felt unseen, unheard, or frustrated in your relationships, tune in to learn how to better navigate your anxious attachment and build stronger connections.
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Are your expectations in love setting you up for heartbreak? If you identify as an anxious attacher, your ideas about love and relationships might not be as "normal" as you think. This episode isn’t about dismissing what you deserve, it’s about redefining realistic expectations in relationships.
From craving constant reassurance to feeling like you should always be someone's top priority, these expectations can keep you trapped in a cycle of overthinking, disappointment, and emotional overwhelm. But what if your experience of love isn’t a reflection of reality? What if it’s a reflection of your attachment style?
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Are you stuck in a cycle of overthinking, replaying every moment, and wondering what you could’ve done differently? In this episode, we’re diving into the heartache of obsessing over an ex and uncovering how to break free from that mental loop. Whether you’re fresh out of a breakup or it’s been months (even years), those intrusive thoughts can hold you back from healing and moving forward.
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Do you have an anxious attachment style? When it comes to the future, anxious attachers often fall into patterns of overthinking, fear, and doubt - ones that can feel overwhelming and even hold you back from the life and love you want.
In today’s episode, we’re bringing these patterns into the light, helping you become aware of the ways they might be shaping your thoughts, decisions, and emotions.
This is your chance to step back, reflect, and begin noticing when this happens to you. By recognising these habits, you can start to shift towards secure ways of thinking.
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In this episode, we dive deep into the pain of holding onto someone who’s made themselves unavailable. Whether it’s an ex or someone you have deep feelings for, this episode explores the emotional turmoil of wanting someone who’s not emotionally present. If you tend to lean toward anxious attachment, this pain can feel amplified, as it’s often accompanied by the belief that you need this person in your life to feel complete or secure.
Together, we’ll unpack why it’s so hard to let go, what to do when you find yourself repeatedly hurt, and how to break free from the cycle of longing. If you're ready to release the grip of someone who’s not showing up for you the way you deserve, this episode will give you the tools to start healing, set boundaries, and ultimately open up space for someone who truly meets your needs.
Note: There is a December offer on joining The Attachment Recovery Gym. Get 12 months access for only £199Other useful links:
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In this episode of Lessons in Attachment, I'm feeling inspired and to speak to those of you with childhood wounds and unmet needs. Inspired by a juicy session inside the Attachment Recovery Gym, let's discuss the lasting impact of emotionally immature parenting and unmet childhood needs.
I share insights from our recent workshop, Heal Your Inner Child for Self-Worth & Healthy Love, where we explored themes of grief, forgiveness, and self-compassion. From navigating feelings of unworthiness to learning how to meet yourself with love today, this episode is here to remind you that you are not alone - and your past doesn’t have to define your future.
In this episode, I give you reflective prompts to help you reconnect with your authentic self and start showing up in relationships as your true SELF.
If this resonates, consider joining the Attachment Recovery Gym to catch the replay and access tools that help you feel less triggered, more worthy, and deeply secure in love.
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Are you wondering why anxious attachers have intense reactions that feel out of proportion to the situation?
In this episode, we’re diving into the psychology behind those big emotions and over-the-top responses.
You’ll discover how past memories and unresolved core wounds shape your sense of threat, leaving you feeling vulnerable in relationships. We’ll also explore how your brain’s logical side seems to “go offline” during these triggering moments, making it so hard for you to respond calmly, even though you're trying so hard.
Whether you’re tired of feeling overwhelmed by your own reactions or want to understand the deeper reasons behind them, this episode will give you the insight to understanding and being more compassionate about your situation - that's when change can really happen!
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4 times Anxious Triggers Hit Harder
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Do you ever feel like your relationships are stuck in a frustrating cycle of chasing unavailable and avoidant partners? You might be reliving dynamics you learned as a child. In this episode, we're diving into 5 Signs You Had Emotionally Immature Parents and how those early experiences might be influencing your adult relationships.
From unmet emotional needs to the deep-seated urge to "fix" or "earn" love, we’re exploring how your upbringing shapes who you chase and why emotionally unavailable partners feel familiar.
This is about understanding your story and rewriting it. Let’s heal the patterns that keep you stuck so you can stop chasing and start thriving.
Tune in for insights, validation, and some practical tips to help you take the first step toward breaking the cycle.
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In this episode of Lessons in Attachment, we dive into a common but unspoken challenge for anxious attachers, 'separation anxiety' for adults. While we might think of separation anxiety as something only children experience, actually, it can be a deeply distressing reality for adults with anxious attachment patterns. Whether it’s the constant “what if” worries about your partner leaving, fears for their safety, or anxiety about time spent apart, the thoughts become overwhelming and exhausting.
Listen as I unpack some common cognitive patterns that drive adult separation anxiety.
If this topic resonates with you, be sure to check out my Attachment Recovery Gym, where you’ll find a full bundle designed to help you work through these struggles: from workshops, to affirmations, to somatic practices.
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In this episode, Carly Ann shares a powerful 5 step-tool designed to help you find calm when anxious attachment leaves you feeling triggered and overwhelmed. If you’re someone who struggles with anxious attachment and you have reactive impulses, this tool will guide you to pause, ground yourself, and regain control before taking action you might regret.
I walk you through each step of using this technique effectively, sharing insights on how to get the absolute most from it so it becomes second nature in tough moments.
Beyond just the tool itself, this episode is packed with golden gems on making self-soothing techniques more effective, tailored of course towards anxious attachers, and real-life ideas to strengthen your secure self.
DOWNLOAD SHIFT OR SPIRAL PDF
EPISODE: Anxious Attachment or SituationOther useful links:
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In this episode we explore self-love from the perspective of anxious attachment. Over on social media (HERE), Carly Ann has been discussing how to communicate with an avoidant attachment - to do this whilst loving yourself is key.
What is Self-LoveWhy people with an anxious attachment struggle to self-love as adultsHow to practice self love using S-E-L-F-L-O-V-E as your guild
Whether you are single or in a relationship, this episode will provide you with some epic gems to support your healing journey today
That's why in this episode you will lear:
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Do you want to communicate better and more effectively with a dismissive avoidant person? In this episode, Carly Ann discusses 5 common communication challenges faced by anxious attachers when interacting with avoidant partners. These are 5 things that push them away (even though you don't mean to). Understanding these mistakes is essential for improving relationship dynamics and giving the anxious-avoidant dynamic a better shot at connection.
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In this episode, Carly Ann shares three practical tools to help you calm your anxiety when it feels overwhelming. Whether you're stuck in a cycle of overthinking or feeling emotionally flooded, these self-soothing techniques will guide you to regain control and find some balance when you have lost yourself. Perfect for anxious attachers looking for quick, effective strategies to use in the heat of the moment.
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In this episode we dive into the 'Expectation Gap' with our special guest, exploring what happens when life doesn’t go according to plan. Have you ever felt like you’re not where you thought you'd be by now? Maybe 30 feels like you should be further along, or you're panicking about running out of time. This episode is here to break down the pressure and set realistic goals, especially if you’re juggling a lot of them.
From understanding your relationship timeline to meeting someone, this episode is packed with great insights. Plus, Kate shares 4 steps to help you tackle any goal you're struggling with. Whether it’s career, love, or personal growth - this ep has got you covered
Loved this episode? Our guest Kate Berski has a new book that you can pre-order HEREOther useful links:
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Do you have an anxious attachment style? If so, you likely know all about being your own biggest critic. In this episode, Carly Ann explores how to quieten your inner critic using the 3 core elements of Self-Compassion, based on the work of Paul Gilbert & Kristen Neff. If you struggle with anxious attachment, self-criticism, or self-blame, this episode is for you. We’ll break down3 core elements of self-compassion that you can bring into your day to day life.
Becoming Secure: HEREOther useful links:
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In this very honest episode, Carly Ann tackles the often tricky terrain of expressing needs a way that is "reasonable" versus "too much".
We’ll share relatable examples that highlight the fine line between healthy expression and being driven by anxious attachment. Discover times it is unacceptable to be called needy VS times we might also need to look inwards.
This is all about empowering you to embrace your emotions without shame and being able to look at yourself and your relationships more honestly. This episode invites you to reflect on your experiences, helping you understand that your needs matter and that how you deliver them can make all the difference.
Tune in for an honest conversation designed to resonate with anxious attachers.
Join Becoming Secure: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/becoming-secure-courseOther useful links:
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Do you have an anxious attachment style? If so, you likely ruminate - on the past. Over your ex, what you wore, what you should have said, their tone of voice.... and why why why,
In this episode, Carly Ann discusses rumination and what makes it worse - amongst that you will take away some tips to help you!
Becoming Secure: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/becoming-secure-courseOther useful links:
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Do you have an anxious attachment style? In this episode, we get real about four times your anxious attachment hits the hardest - when you're most likely to spiral and feel out of control.
From the struggles of nighttime to the stress of sudden changes in routine, Carly Ann breaks down why these moments trigger intense anxiety. We will discuss the moments when it feels like your attachment issues are taking over. If you're ready to stop letting these key moments control you, have a listen to this episode
Becoming Secure: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/becoming-secure-courseOther useful links:
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