Episodes
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Welcome to this week’s episode! Over the past two weeks, your feedback on Kairos: The Power of Perfect Timing and A Time to Act has been nothing short of humbling. Many of you have shared how these episodes have resonated deeply, inspiring you to re-evaluate procrastination and the hidden consequences of time.
This week, I want to take it a step further. 2024 has been a challenging year for so many, myself included. But I’ve realised that challenges don’t just test us, they teach us. And those lessons can become the blueprint we use to navigate 2025 with clarity and determination.
In today’s episode, I share three powerful mindsets to help you transform life’s trials into stepping stones:
1. Reframing Your Perspective:
Learn how to give challenges a new meaning and navigate difficult relationships without unnecessary pain.
2. Acting in Faith:
Discover why God often leads us to take unrelated, sometimes illogical actions—and how obedience can lead to unexpected breakthroughs.
3. Finding Peace Amidst the Storm:
Understand how creating inner peace provides clarity, strength, and the ability to move forward even in the midst of chaos.
This episode is more than a reflection on 2024; it’s an invitation to step boldly into 2025 with a renewed mindset and a clear purpose.
Special Invitation:
Join me on Saturday, 28th December, at 10am UK time for a free Zoom session. We’ll explore how to take this year's lessons and turn them into a practical plan for the year ahead. Registration is essential; visit our website or Eventbrite to sign up.
Links and Resources:
• Visit our website: toksaruoture.com
• Register for our Online Event
•Mentioned episodes: Episode 106 - Social Media Crisis Management
Episode 106: Finding Calm in the (Social Media) ChaosEpisode 108: Kairos: Power of Perfect TimingEpisode 109: A Time to Act•HangOut Cafe with Pastor Funke Adeaga: Watch on YouTube
• Follow me on social media for more inspiration and updates: Instagram, LinkedIn YouTube
• Ready to take bold steps toward your purpose? I offer 1:1 coaching and group coaching programmes to help you live from the inside out.
If you found this episode valuable, please leave a five-star review and share it with someone who needs it. Your feedback truly means the world to me, and I’d love to hear how this episode is impacting you, so hit me up on social media!
Till next time, remember to live from the inside out. ✨
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Following last week’s episode on Kairos moments, which became the second most-listened-to episode of 2024 (thank you so much for your incredible feedback!), I felt led to continue this conversation. So today, we’re diving into the natural next step: taking action.
What do you do once you recognise that now is the time?
In this episode, I explore three “little foxes” that hold us back from acting with courage:
1. The Fear of Being Wrong:
• How our narrow definitions of success and failure keep us stuck.
• Why “wrong” might actually be a lesson in disguise—and how to shift your mindset.
2. The Fear of Being Different:
• Embracing your unique path and learning to love what sets you apart.
• Why standing out is worth the discomfort and how to start celebrating your individuality.
3. The Fear of Not Being Enough:
• How feelings of inadequacy can lead us to sabotage our own progress.
• Recognising that you already have everything you need to bring your ideas to life.
I also share personal stories—like revisiting the lessons I learned after losing everything and starting over, and how this year’s challenges have led to incredible growth and clarity in my purpose.
Key Takeaways:
• Your spirit is superior to your body; it speaks truth and guides you toward courageous action.
• Every idea comes equipped with everything it needs to succeed. Nothing is missing.
• The courage to act begins with uprooting the fears that are silently stealing your progress.
Links and Resources:
• Visit my website: toksaruoture.com
• Follow me on social media for more inspiration and updates: Instagram, LinkedIn YouTube
• Ready to take bold steps toward your purpose? I offer 1:1 coaching and group coaching programmes to help you live from the inside out.
If you found this episode valuable, please leave a five-star review and share it with someone who needs it. Your feedback truly means the world to me, and I’d love to hear how this episode is impacting you—so hit me up on social!
Till next time, remember to live from the inside out. ✨
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Missing episodes?
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Welcome back to the Living Inside Out podcast! In this episode, I explore the concept of time—not just as we know it but in its two distinct forms: Chronos (quantitative, linear time) and Kairos (divine, opportune moments). This conversation stems from a personal revelation about how small, often invisible habits, those “little foxes”, can block us from achieving our goals.
Here’s what you can expect in this episode:
• The Myth of Tomorrow: Why the phrase “I’ll do it tomorrow” is the most dangerous thing we tell ourselves.
• Chronos vs Kairos: Breaking down the difference between measurable time and critical, spiritual moments.
• The Power of Kairos Moments: Understanding and acting in your appointed time can lead to exponential growth.
• A Personal Story: My unexpected journey of learning luxury branding at Fortnum & Mason and how it completely transformed my business approach.
• Procrastination’s Silent Damage: Why hesitation and delay are subtle yet effective tools to derail destiny.
• Practical Steps: How to recognise and act on your Kairos moments, align your spirit with God’s timing, and stop missing opportunities meant for your growth.
Key Takeaways:
1. Time is more than a tool; it’s life itself. Every moment is loaded with potential to create life-altering results.
2. Kairos moments aren’t bound by human schedules. They’re divine opportunities that require spiritual sensitivity and action.
3. Procrastination is the thief of destiny. When you say “later,” you’re allowing comfort and hesitation to rob you of your appointed time.
I challenge you to reflect on the moments you’ve let slip away because of hesitation. What would be different if you acted in faith instead of waiting for the “perfect time”?
Resources and Links:
Ecclesiastes 1
• Visit my website: toksaruoture.com
• Follow me on social media for more inspiration and updates: Instagram, LinkedIn YouTube
• Want to go deeper? I offer 1:1 coaching and group coaching programmes to help you live from the inside out and achieve your divine purpose.
Thank you for listening! Please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs it. Let’s connect again next week as we continue the journey of living intentionally and purposefully.
And remember, live from the inside out. ✨
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Hello, and welcome back to Living Inside Out! This episode is close to my heart because we’re diving into a topic that affects so many of us; self-consciousness. Whether you’re a student, an entrepreneur, or someone just trying to figure things out, that nagging voice in your head saying, “What will they think?” can hold you back from truly living your life.
This week, I had the privilege of guest-lecturing at Goldsmiths, University of London. I was invited to teach a class on Entrepreneurship to the Master’s students studying Luxury Brand Management. Let me tell you, I was in my zone! Speaking to others about mindset, growth, and living authentically is one of the ways I come alive. But the truth is, this wasn’t always the case. Years ago, I struggled with self-consciousness and the fear of being judged. Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone, and this episode is for you.
Here’s what we cover in this episode:
•The Realisation That Set Me Free: Why nobody is thinking about you as much as you think they are, and how this can change your perspective on storytelling and vulnerability.
•The Difference Between Authenticity and Oversharing: How to share your story in a way that inspires and uplifts, not just to vent or seek validation.
•Three Practical Steps to Telling Your Story Boldly:
1.Get to Know Yourself: Why self-discovery is the foundation of authenticity.
2.Examine Your Intentions: Understanding the why behind your words and actions.
3.Write It Out First: How crafting and owning your story beforehand can turn self-consciousness into confidence.
One of the students at Goldsmiths asked me a fantastic question: “How come you’re so bold in sharing authentically?” Her concern, like many of us, was rooted in the fear of being judged. My answer? Nobody is keeping score. Most people are busy being the star of their own story, and what they think of you often says more about them than it does about you.
We’ll also explore how to handle those who genuinely critique or misunderstand you and why their opinions are, frankly, none of your business.
Lastly, I’ll share why it’s important to only share what you’re comfortable with and have healed from. Your story is powerful, but it’s not a dumping ground for unresolved emotions.
Resources Mentioned:
•Proverbs 20:5 The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.
•Choose your Mindset Course or Workshops: Your mindset is your foundation. Learn how to tell your story authentically while building your personal brand.
•Episode #106 (sorry I said 105 but its 106) On handling the Facebook disruption.
•Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and YouTube! Let’s continue the conversation.
Subscribe and Review:
If this episode spoke to you, I’d love it if you could give the podcast a 5-star rating. It helps others find the show and keeps the content coming!
As always, thank you for listening and being part of this amazing community. Until next time, remember to live from the inside out. You’ve got this! ❤️
Toks
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What do you do when something unexpected, like being locked out of your Facebook accounts, threatens to derail your day and disrupt your business? In this episode, I share my journey through a recent digital crisis, highlighting the steps I took to stay calm, productive, and resilient. From managing the initial panic to leaning on faith, family, and routines, this episode is packed with practical lessons for handling challenges with grace and perspective.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
•How to manage panic and regain control in moments of uncertainty.
•The importance of taking practical steps while knowing when to step away.
•Why routines are essential guardrails in times of chaos.
•Leadership tips for setting the tone during a crisis.
•How to gain a healthier perspective on challenges by anchoring yourself in faith, family, and context.
•The critical lesson of not putting all your digital eggs in one basket.
•How to plan for the future to mitigate risks and strengthen your business.
While this experience is related to my business, the tips and strategies I share will work in your personal life too. We cannot avoid disruptions, but we can regain control if we manage it properly.
Have you experienced a digital disruption or unexpected challenge in your business? Share your story with me on [LinkedIn](your link) or [Instagram](your link). Let’s start a conversation about staying resilient and prepared for the unexpected.
Resource:
•Tips for preventing a Facebook suspension:
https://chatterblast.com/blog/it-happened-to-me-staying-calm-when-facebook-suspends-your-account/
Connect with Me:
•Website
• LinkedIn
•Instagram
If you enjoyed this episode, I’d love for you to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an update. And if you found this conversation helpful, please take a moment to rate and review it—it really helps to spread the word and reach more people who could benefit from these insights. Your support means so much to me. Thank you!
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In this inspiring episode, Toks speaks with Getrude Matshe—3-time TEDx Speaker, author, serial social entrepreneur, and philanthropy consultant. Getrude, known for her vibrant energy and commitment to empowering women, shares her insights on finding one’s purpose and using it to uplift others. The conversation explores her journey, her belief in the African philosophy of Ubuntu, and her mission to educate and empower Africa’s next generation. Getrude’s story is one of resilience, self-belief, and an unbreakable commitment to community and unity.
Key Takeaways
Embracing Responsibility: Getrude shares her powerful experience of taking on the responsibility of raising 49 children orphaned by HIV. Her story exemplifies the Ubuntu philosophy—"I am because we are"—and her deep-rooted belief in uplifting her community.
Ubuntu in All Areas of Life: Getrude describes the Ubuntu philosophy and its wide-reaching impact across various fields, from business to technology. Ubuntu is about recognising our interconnectedness and using it to drive success, unity, and compassion.
Philanthropy Starts at Home: For Getrude, being philanthropic isn’t just about large-scale projects; it’s about supporting those closest to us first. Building strong relationships at home can be the foundation for creating positive ripples in the wider community.
Overcoming Self-Doubt: Getrude shares her empowering affirmation for self-doubt: “Listen, I need to do this; I know I have the ability to do this.” Her resilience and inner drive are a testament to the strength that comes from believing in one’s capabilities.
Trusting Your Ideas: According to Getrude, if you have an idea, you already have the inherent knowledge and ability to bring it to life. Her advice encourages listeners to take action on their passions and trust in their potential.
Redefining Failure: Failure, for Getrude, is simply the act of not trying. She shares her perspective that life’s setbacks are stepping stones to growth and that the real failure lies in ignoring a desire to act. With this mindset, Getrude has been able to embrace challenges and learn from every experience.
This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to find purpose, strengthen their community, and overcome the fear of failure. Getrude’s journey is a powerful reminder that purpose and passion can drive positive change in ourselves and those around us.
NEXT STEPS:
If you need support, feel free to email Toks at [email protected]. As a certified coach, she helps individuals overcome limiting thoughts and unlock their full potential. Connect with us on social media @toksaruoture for daily inspiration and insights.
Have you subscribed to this podcast? If not, why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Also, head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to Living Inside Out, for more impactful conversations and personal growth content.
We would love to connect with you on social! Let’s stay in touch on toksaruoture.com and hang out on Instagram @toksaruoture and on Facebook at Living Inside Out.
Thank you for listening, and see you next time on Living Inside Out!
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In This Powerful Episode of Living Inside Out, Toks Sits Down with Elizabeth Solaru
In this episode, Toks Aruoture has an inspiring conversation with Elizabeth Solaru, a multi-award-winning luxury business consultant, author of The Luxpreneur, and former microbiologist turned cake artist. Elizabeth’s journey from science to the world of luxury and entrepreneurship is filled with incredible insights and transformative lessons on building a brand, finding your unique voice, and embracing authenticity.
Key Topics Covered:
•The Power of Authenticity: Elizabeth shares how staying true to yourself is essential when building a luxury brand. She explores how authenticity not only attracts the right audience but also strengthens brand loyalty.
•Building a Successful Luxury Brand: Learn the fundamentals of luxury branding, from mindset to strategy, and how Elizabeth built her own brand from the ground up while maintaining integrity and excellence.
•The Power of Storytelling in Business: Elizabeth delves into the importance of storytelling in creating a compelling brand narrative that resonates with clients and sets your brand apart in the luxury market.
•Diversity in Luxury: As the founder of the Diversity in Luxury Awards, Elizabeth also touches on the need for inclusivity and how diversity is reshaping the luxury industry.
Key Takeaways:
•Embrace Your Authenticity and Move Forward: Elizabeth reminds us to “Do it Afraid”—take risks and step forward even when facing fear or doubt.
•Luxury Starts with You: True luxury begins within, with a mindset focused on excellence, self-worth, and the value you bring to others.
•The 5 Key Pillars of a Luxury Mindset: Elizabeth outlines the foundational elements needed to develop a luxury mindset, essential for anyone aspiring to build a brand in this space.
Resources Mentioned:
•The Luxpreneur by Elizabeth Solaru – A must-read for those looking to elevate their business through the principles of luxury and authenticity.
•Diversity in Luxury Awards – A groundbreaking initiative recognising excellence and inclusivity within the luxury industry.
Connect with Elizabeth Solaru:
•Instagram: @elizabethsolaru – Follow Elizabeth for insights and inspiration in luxury, entrepreneurship, and personal growth.
•Website: ElizabethSolauru.com – Learn more about her consultancy, upcoming events, and luxury courses.
•LinkedIn: Elizabeth Solaru – Connect with Elizabeth for more professional insights and opportunities.
Listen to this Episode on:
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Let's talk about the reality of burnout—a hidden culprit behind feelings of exhaustion, detachment, and lack of motivation. Drawing from my recent experience, I’ll walk you through what burnout really looks like, the subtle signs to watch for, and practical ways to move from depletion to revitalisation. Whether you’re feeling a general sense of dreariness or struggling to find your motivation, this episode will offer insights, solutions, and encouragement to help you reclaim your spark.
Key Points:
1. What is Burnout?
Burnout is a state of chronic physical and emotional exhaustion resulting from prolonged stress. It can impact your motivation, emotional health, and even your physical well-being.
2. Signs of Burnout:
•Physical and Emotional Exhaustion: Feeling drained, fatigued, and unable to recover.
•Decreased Motivation: Finding it hard to stay productive and motivated.
•Detachment and Isolation: Withdrawing from relationships or feeling disconnected.
•Irritability and Frustration: Easily triggered by small stressors.
•Difficulty Concentrating: Struggling with focus and memory.
3. My Personal Journey Through Burnout:
•I share my own recent experience with burnout, how I recognised it, and the challenges I faced in acknowledging it.
4. Solutions for Alleviating Burnout:
•Set Boundaries: Protect your personal time by creating clear work-life boundaries.
•Prioritise Rest: Make rest and sleep a consistent priority.
•Practice Self-Compassion: Allow yourself grace, and remember that healing takes time.
•Engage in Physical Activity: Move in ways that feel good to you, even if it’s a short walk.
•Seek Support: Find people or communities to connect with, whether friends, family, or professional support.
5. Inspiration and Action:
•Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own experiences, recognise signs of burnout, and implement one small step towards reclaiming balance.
Key Takeaways:
•Burnout can sneak up on us, especially when we feel unmotivated or weary without a clear reason.
•Recognising signs of burnout is crucial for taking steps towards recovery and finding joy in everyday life again.
•Solutions exist, and they’re often simpler than we realise, from setting boundaries to practising self-compassion.
Next Steps:
If you’re feeling exhausted or struggling with motivation, take a moment to assess where you might need rest or support. Small changes can have a powerful impact. Let this episode be your guide in moving from burnout to balance.
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In this episode, I had an incredible conversation with Shadé Akande, founder of ONE X LEAGUE. Shadé, raised as a first-generation American by Nigerian parents, shares her experiences of navigating culture clashes, embracing risk, and learning to trust herself—lessons that shaped her personal and professional journey.
You can watch this episode on YouTube
We dive into:
•Growing Up Nigerian-American: Shadé talks about the culture clashes of being raised by Nigerian parents in the United States and how those experiences influenced her career choices and personal growth.
•Career Evolution: From the fashion industry to HR at some of the biggest global companies like Google and Verizon, Shadé explains how each step in her career taught her more about people and herself.
•Launching ONE X LEAGUE: Shadé shares the mission behind ONE X LEAGUE, a private membership for Black and Afro-Latina executive women, and the upcoming ONE SUITE RETREAT, a retreat for Black executives, both male and female, happening in February next year.
•Risk-Taking and Resilience: We discuss the importance of taking risks, learning from failures, and building resilience in the face of entrepreneurship challenges.
•Building Your Tribe: A major theme of our conversation revolves around creating a supportive network. Shadé shares insights on how to build a tribe of mentors and supporters and reflects on our own trip to the Amalfi Coast, where we strengthened our community of women.
•Mentorship: We also explore how mentorship plays a vital role in personal and professional growth, and how to find the right mentors if you’re just starting out.
Shadé’s story is filled with practical insights and powerful lessons for anyone looking to take charge of their career, build resilience, and create a supportive network.
Next Steps:
If you loved this episode, make sure to subscribe and leave a review! You can connect with Shadé and learn more about ONE X LEAGUE at onexleague.com. Stay tuned for more insightful conversations, and follow us on @toksa to never miss an episode!
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Welcome back to Living Inside Out! After a brief hiatus, we’re back with a fresh new look and an exciting direction for the podcast. In this first episode of our new season, Toks Aruoture reflects on the journey so far, shares some of the lessons learned along the way, and gives you a sneak peek into what’s to come.
Here’s what you’ll hear in today’s episode:
• Why taking a step back and pausing to reflect was so important.
• A deep dive into the lessons Toks has learned over the past few years, including insights on faith, burnout, and personal growth.
• An exciting new direction for the podcast, with more interviews, deeper conversations, and transparency about Toks’ own personal journey.
• A look ahead at some incredible upcoming guests—people you’re familiar with and new voices to inspire you. • How this season has been designed with YOU in mind, offering insights and conversations that will help you live a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Key Lessons from Today’s Episode:
• “Nothing has meaning except the meaning you give it” – A powerful reflection on how we can frame our experiences and challenges.
• The importance of aligning with your purpose and reassessing where you’re headed.
• How to take care of yourself in the process and avoid burnout while still moving forward in life.
We’re thrilled to be back and can’t wait to continue this journey with you!
Your next steps:
If you loved today’s episode, be sure to:
1. Subscribe to our YouTube channel to catch the new video episodes, interviews, and more.
2. Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform so you never miss an episode—whether it’s Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.
3. And don’t forget, the waitlist is still open for our Get Unstuck program which begins on the 1st of November. It’s your chance to join a transformational journey to move forward in life with purpose and clarity.
Join the wait list to be considered
Resources
Introduction: A Perfect Storm
The Future is Superior to the Present
Toxic Friendships: Six Types of Friends to Avoid
Get Unstuck Wait List
If you need support, email [email protected]. As a certified coach, I help individuals overcome limiting thoughts. Connect with me on social media @toksaruoture.
Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out.
I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.
See you next time on Living Inside Out!
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Welcome to episode #100! Thank you for sticking with me through 100 episodes of this podcast journey.
This episode marks a special milestone—my continued conversation with Suzy, where we dive deep into the theme "Talk is Cheap, Actions Speak Louder than Words." Yes, it's a powerful message, and I'm thrilled to share it with you.
We often hear the saying, "Listen closely with your eyes." This episode is all about that—paying attention to the actions around us and the stories they tell. Suzy and I discuss how actions reveal true intentions and character far more than words ever could.
Reflecting on my past journals, I talk about the importance of not comparing one circumstance to another. Life gives us trials, but we are equipped to handle them. Comparing our past selves to our present can be a trap; instead, we should embrace our journey and growth.
Join us in this episode, part two of two, of Life Lessons with Suzy and Toks.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch the recording to see our cheerful faces 😊.
Connect with Me: I would love to hear from you!
Connect with me on social media and stay updated with the latest news and events:
• Email: [email protected]
• Instagram: Toks Aruoture
• LinkedIn: Toks Aruoture
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Welcome to episode #99! I thank you for riding with me through 99 episodes of my podcast.
This episode has been a long time coming—my conversation with Suzy on the life lessons we learned in 2023! Yes, I know, 19 months later, but we made it, and that’s what counts, right?
One cannot quantify the benefits of having the right people in your space. Besides having good friends who watch your back, make great company, and lend a listening ear, we should have wise people who plant words of life in and around us.
We also have a responsibility to ourselves to learn the lessons that life teaches us. Last year, I learned that life is not a straight line. Somehow, we were led to believe that the kinks and bends in our paths should be straightened. Consequently, many of us have spent months fixing what isn’t broken because the idea of an imperfect journey doesn’t sit well with us.
Since our last conversation, which was well received, Suzy’s divorce has been finalised, and she is living her best life. At the time of our previous recording, it was impossible to imagine the freedom she would experience. Yes, we knew it would happen, but when you are in the trenches, all you can see is mud and dead weight. Meanwhile, I have survived a long, challenging season of my own and share some of the lessons that came out of it and some tools to navigate rough terrains.
Join us in this episode, part one of two, of Life Lessons with Suzy and Toks.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch the recording to see our cheerful faces 😊.
Connect with Me: I would love to hear from you! Connect with me on social media and stay updated with the latest news and events: • Email: [email protected] • Instagram: Toks Aruoture • LinkedIn: Toks Aruoture
Contact Information
• Email: [email protected]
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This week on Living Inside Out, we dive deep into the roots of weariness and its impact on our lives and goals. Toks explores how chronic disappointments can spiral into discouragement, hopelessness, apathy, and even depression. Discover practical strategies to stay energised and focused on your God-given purpose, despite the enemy’s attempts to derail you.
Episode Highlights:
• Understanding Weariness: Learn how repeated disappointments lead to discouragement, and how this can devolve into hopelessness and depression. Depression is described as a dark pit of hopelessness, a place where defeat feels inescapable. • Spiritual Perspective: Understand how the enemy uses weariness to prevent us from fulfilling our purpose. Explore how God’s purpose aligns with our deepest desires, and why staying energised is crucial to achieving our goals. • Personal Testimony: Hear a personal story of unwavering belief in a future vision, despite facing logical reasons to give up. Discover the power of holding onto your dreams even in the face of weariness. • Common Causes of Overwhelm: Identify key factors contributing to weariness, such as overwork, stress, lack of sleep, poor nutrition, and emotional burdens. • Three Dimensions of Existence: Delve into the interconnectedness of our physical, emotional, and spiritual dimensions. Get a sneak peek into how spiritual battles influence our weariness and the hope in God’s promise of overcoming the world. • Recognising Signs of Weariness: Learn about the physical and emotional signs of weariness, from chronic fatigue and headaches to irritability and lack of motivation. Understand how our modern habits, like consuming short content on social media, contribute to emotional and mental fatigue.
Practical Tips to Stay Energised:
1. Physical Health: Prioritise sleep, balanced nutrition, and regular exercise to maintain energy levels. 2. Mental and Emotional Well-being: Practice mindfulness, take regular breaks, and nurture positive relationships. 3. Spiritual Practices: Engage in regular prayer and meditation for peace and rejuvenation, and connect with a faith community for support.
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Welcome to The Living Inside Out podcast. I’m your host, Toks Aruoture. This is episode 97: “Challenges to Opportunities: Steps to Help You Change Your Perspective.”
Hello, my friend. I hope you are well. If you’re in the UK and have a 16-year-old, congratulations! The exams are over. I, too, have a 16-year-old, and now that exams are done, I told him he’d need to get a job. Initially, I thought providing everything was a sign of love, but I’ve realised the importance of work ethic and early skill acquisition.
If this is your first time listening, thank you. Please rate and review this podcast and share it with your network. If you’ve been with me for a while, welcome back and thank you for your consistency. A couple of announcements: I have spaces for my PR workshop on 27th June. Also, for our 100th episode, I want to record in front of a live audience. Email [email protected] if you’re interested.
Recapping last week, we discussed how our perspective on circumstances affects our growth. Today, we’ll delve into the benefits of seeing circumstances as neutral. This perspective enables us to see opportunities even in difficult times.
Recently, I faced a tough week, but through it, I learned to trust in God’s invisible realm beyond our physical world. This trust helps us navigate challenges with the understanding that God is working for our good.
To change our perspective during tough times:
1. Embrace dual realities. There can be good amidst challenges. 2. Rest when tired, don’t quit. Busyness can drown out divine guidance. 3. Acceptance. Identify the lies in your thoughts and counter them with God’s truth.
If you need support, email [email protected]. As a certified coach, I help individuals overcome limiting thoughts. Connect with me on social media @toksaruoture.
Before we go, let’s pray. Dear Jesus, I pray for the listener. Help them navigate this season, fulfil their potential, and take the next step. Amen.
Thank you for listening. God bless you.
Show Notes:
• Spaces available for PR workshop on 27th June. • Interested in attending the 100th episode live recording? Email [email protected]. • Follow me on social media: @toksaruoture. • For coaching support, email [email protected]. • Visit my website for mindset courses and workshops: toksaruoture.com.
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Episode Summary
In this episode, we explore the concept that circumstances in themselves are neutral, and it is our thoughts about them that shape our emotional responses. As always, I draw from personal stories, reflections, and examples, to see how our perceptions and attitudes can transform our experiences of pain, so we are not crippled by it, but instead we advance in spite of it.
Episode Highlights
• Introduction to the Concept: • Statement from the previous episode: Circumstances are neither good nor bad. • The idea that it is our thoughts about circumstances that determine our emotions. • The Influence of Our Perception: • Factors influencing perception: personality, culture, mood, mental state. • Personal story of discovering and embracing this concept. • Personal Story About Pets: • Childhood experiences with pets in Benin. • Decision to get pets for children despite potential for pain. • Realisation that the doorway for pain is the same doorway for joy. • Embracing Pain and Disappointment: • Reflection on Earl Nightingale’s advice to embrace pain and disappointment. • Choosing to embrace rather than fight against life’s challenges. • Perspective on Tough Seasons: • Conversation with friend Shade about tough seasons and blessings. • Realisation that what we have today was once something we prayed for. • Comparing Pain: • Thoughts on the Gaza-Israel conflict as an example of different perspectives on the same circumstance. • Discussion on the futility of comparing one’s pain to others’. • Emphasis on pain being felt internally, not externally. • Seeking Joy in Difficult Times: • Reflection on the brain’s tendency to seek joy and avoid pain. • Personal story of seeking joy through prayer during challenging times. • The importance of finding joy and peace within, regardless of external circumstances.
Key Takeaways
1. Circumstances are Neutral: It’s our thoughts about them that create our emotional responses. 2. Embrace Challenges: Choosing to embrace pain and disappointment can give us more control over our lives. 3. Avoid Comparison: Pain and joy are internal experiences, and comparing our circumstances to others’ can be misleading and unhelpful.
Announcements
• PR Workshop: Join us for an upcoming PR workshop where you’ll learn the essentials of public relations, effective communication strategies, and how to elevate your brand. Stay tuned for dates and registration details. • Coaching and Workshops: Explore our range of coaching services and workshops designed to help you achieve personal and professional growth. Whether you are looking to improve your mindset, enhance your entrepreneurial skills, or navigate life’s challenges, we have something for you.
Connect with Me: I would love to hear from you! Connect with me on social media and stay updated with the latest news and events: • Email: [email protected] • Instagram: Toks Aruoture • LinkedIn: Toks Aruoture
Contact Information
• Email: [email protected]
Listener Challenge
Reflect on a time when you prayed desperately for something you now have. How do you feel about it now? Consider how your thoughts and attitudes have influenced your emotions towards it.
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Next Episode Teaser
Stay tuned for the next episode where we will continue exploring the neutrality of circumstances and how to harness our thoughts to navigate life’s challenges.
This podcast is brought to you by Living Inside Out; a platform where we explore the intersection of mindset, entrepreneurship, and faith. For more insights and inspiration, visit our website and stay connected with our community.
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We’re just five episodes away from our 100th episode, and we’re planning to celebrate big! I have some exciting ideas, including recording in front of a live audience. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, so please let me know what you think.
Embracing ChallengesThis week, I had the wonderful opportunity to speak to graduate students in Brazil, and it has left me on a high. It got me thinking about the challenges we all face in life.
After months of waiting for a challenging season to end, I’ve finally embraced it as a part of life. Have you ever found yourself waiting, like being in a valley, hoping someone will hoist you up to the mountain? Life in the valley is something we all experience. It’s a stop on our journey but not where we’re meant to stay. If you’re in a valley, surrounded by mountains and obstacles, know that this too shall pass.
The Power of PerspectiveRecently, I had a revelation about our thoughts, emotions, and circumstances. It’s not the circumstance that causes us to feel discouraged, sad, or angry—it’s our thoughts. Circumstances are neutral; they don’t carry any power. It’s our interpretation of them that shapes our emotions. This explains why two people in the same situation can react so differently.
A Personal AnecdoteI’ll share a recent personal experience to illustrate this. I changed my phone provider, moving from a high business tariff to a much lower one. The switch-over process wasn’t smooth, and the new company only offered live chat support. You can imagine the frustration! During my first interaction, I was getting annoyed. I even felt like cursing out the agent, but I managed to keep my anger in check 🙈
Although the problem wasn’t resolved by the third conversation, my reaction was different. I felt irritation rising but managed to push it down. Here’s why:
I had a chat with myself after the first interaction.this conversation was at home, at the start of the day, when I was at peace and not stressed.It was a different day—Friday, to be exact!Shifting Your MindsetRecognising that circumstances don’t directly dictate our emotions allows us to work on our internal responses. Here are three mindset shifts to adopt during challenging seasons:
Accept that everyone goes through challenges.When I lost my business in the 2008 recession, it helped to know that it wasn’t just me—many were affected. Understanding that challenges are normal in life can help us feel less burdened and more focused on moving forward. Resist the temptation to compare your life to others. Accepting that challenges are universal and neutral stops you from searching for the cause of your pain and allows you to nurture your soul.
Resist the urge to medicate the pain.It’s natural to want to avoid pain, but sometimes, the path to our destination involves facing difficulties head-on. There’s treasure to be found in dark places, but only if we resist the urge to numb ourselves with distractions like alcohol, shopping, or binge-watching TV.
Don’t search for someone or something to blame.Blame is a common response to crises, but it doesn’t help us move forward. Instead of pointing fingers, take responsibility for your life. This doesn’t mean blaming yourself—it means owning your journey. By doing so, you remain in control and can more effectively navigate challenges.
Final ThoughtsChallenges often involve deception, which blinds us to the goodness around us and amplifies our struggles. Remember, deception is simply a lie posing as truth. The best way to counter it is by internalising and speaking the truth—God is good, and His plans for you are to prosper you and give you hope and a future.
AnnouncementsI'll be hosting a PR workshop on the 27th of June to teach and share with you the nitty-gritty of building your personal/business brand. These are the strategies I used to grow from $75 in the corner of my room to the destination for luxury baby furniture in London.Here's what you can expect to take away from the workshop: Learn MY tips and strategies that got me featured in top publications such as The Telegraph, The Times, The Metro, etc.
Discover how to build a strong online presence that attracts clients and opportunities and makes you feel confident and visible!Master the art of storytelling to make your brand stand out, and get access to exclusive insights you won't find elsewhereLearn how to craft pitches that land you on top media platforms and make your voice heard!Join me on Zoom on 27th of June,2024 and take the first step towards elevating your brand with PR mastery. Register now on the website or send an email to [email protected].
Spaces are limited, so sign up soon. For personal insights and reflections, check out my “Dear Diary” segment on social media and YouTube.Action Point
Be especially mindful this week and watch your emotional response to uncomfortable situations; then ask yourself, what thought created this feeling, or what did I just think? This will help to self-regulate emotions as opposed to being at their mercy.
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Hey you! Would you agree that we are in a pivotal moment in the world? It feels as though the rebate of change and evolution is at the highest speed. Social media, pandemic, wars, economic crises, artificial intelligence? Imagine someone who has been in a coma foe the past six years, waking up today? They’d freak out 😅 This episode explores how we can live authentically in a rapidly changing, and increasingly artificial world. You were created to fulfil a purpose, but you won't be able to do so unless you practice living authentically.Because the layers that embellish us to make us more acceptable also hide our gifts and our true selves.Recently, I’ve been reflecting on how I lead my team and the role of emotions in business. It’s been a challenging yet enlightening period, showing me that emotions can steer our decisions unpredictably.One theme that has been recurring is facing the fear of judgement. This is something I’ve struggled with and I am getting past, and it’s a common challenge many of us face. We have got to push past self-doubt and societal expectations to live authentically.Full Circle MomentIf we are connected on social media, you'll notice that I’ve been featured in Nigerian press for my work on mindset transformation, and will be guest lecturing at a Brazilian university, a nod to my Brazilian roots. But I also happen to be dealing with some other challenges which has led me to believe trials and success are two sides of the same coin.Life is about accepting dual realities. We often fear judgement from others, but pushing past this fear is crucial for authentic living. It’s about embracing both the good and the bad and understanding that both can exist simultaneously. Limiting beliefs, formed from past hurts, can hinder our true potential. Like pearls formed from irritants, these beliefs create protective layers that we must address to live authentically. Practical Tips for Authentic LivingDaily Practices: Journaling, mindfulness, and setting boundaries help stay connected to yourself.Mindful Consumption: Curate your environment to minimise negative influences.Setting Personal Goals: Align your goals with your true self, not external expectations.Final ThoughtsReflect on your journey towards authenticity and take proactive steps to live genuinely. If you need guidance, I offer coaching services to help uncover and overcome limiting beliefs. Contact me at [email protected] or visit toksaruoture.com. AnnouncementsThe next PR Workshop is on 27th June. Spaces are limited, so sign up soon. Also, check out my “Dear Diary” segment on social media and YouTube for personal insights and reflections. Next stepsReflect on your authenticity journey and take steps to embrace it fully. Reach out if you need support—I’m here to help you uncover your amazing self. Thanks for tuning in! Until next time, keep living authentically and embrace the journey. Do reach out with any questions or thoughts on this episode via email or social media. Looking forward to hearing from you!
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Are you an overwhelmed entrepreneur struggling to find balance? In episode 93, we dive into practical strategies for overcoming overwhelm and reclaiming control of your business and life.
Overwhelm is a common challenge for busy entrepreneurs, but it's not insurmountable. Join us as we explore actionable solutions to help you navigate overwhelm and achieve greater freedom in your entrepreneurial journey.
In this episode, we discuss:
Recognising the Normalisation of Overwhelm: Discover why overwhelm has become normalised in entrepreneurship and how it can negatively impact your business and well-being. Learn the importance of setting boundaries, prioritising self-care, and combating burnout.
Addressing Unrealistic Time Management: Explore the pitfalls of unrealistic time management and how it contributes to overwhelm. Learn practical time management techniques, including the Pomodoro Technique, to boost productivity and efficiency while reducing stress.
Confronting Mental Distractions and Lack of Focus: Uncover the impact of mental distractions and information overload on entrepreneurial overwhelm. Discover strategies for enhancing focus, practising mindfulness, and minimizing social media distractions to regain clarity and control.
Resources and Links:
EXCITING NEWS! I'll be hosting a PR workshop titled 'Transform Your Stories into Headlines.' this coming 18th of May at 7pm via Zoom. Learn storytelling, media relations, and guerrilla tactics for personal and business brand success.
Want to learn more? Check out all the details and secure your spot at this link.
Pomodoro TechniqueTomi Rotimi on InstagramTomi Rotimi on amazonEpisode 6: Joy or Pain - Emotional Decision MakingDon't let overwhelm prevent you from achieving your entrepreneurial dreams. With practical strategies and a proactive mindset, you can overcome overwhelm, reclaim time, and find greater freedom in your business and life. Subscribe to the Living Inside Out podcast for valuable insights and support on your entrepreneurial journey.
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Today we're diving into the topic of overcoming impostor syndrome.
In this episode, we explore the insidious ways impostor syndrome can manifest in our lives:
1. **Seeking External Validation:** Relying on others' approval to feel worthy, even when we've achieved success.
2. **Crippling Self-Doubt:** Allowing impostor syndrome to undermine our confidence and hinder our ability to make decisions.
3. **Fear of Success:** Subconsciously sabotaging our own progress due to a deep-seated belief that we're not deserving of our achievements.
Drawing from personal experiences and insights, I share practical strategies to combat impostor syndrome:
1. **Celebrating Wins:** Taking time to acknowledge and celebrate even the smallest victories empowers us to recognise our worth.
2. **Preparation and Practice:**
Thoroughly preparing for tasks or projects helps alleviate anxiety and boosts confidence.
3. **Self-Affirmation:** Embracing self-praise, free from the constraints of cultural stigma, reinforces our sense of self-worth and diminishes the grip of impostor syndrome.
Join me as we navigate the complexities of impostor syndrome and embark on a journey towards self-acceptance and empowerment.
**Past Episode References:**- Episode 12: Toxic Friendships: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iATOLZd9KEk&list=PLMsxgKktXsjbYxCMgQINuPV6WE6nB8soR&index=80- Episode 9: Lies We Believe: Exposing the Mindsets that Limit Growth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VhPxdD7QkQ&list=PLMsxgKktXsjbYxCMgQINuPV6WE6nB8soR&index=83
Thank you for tuning in! Don't forget to subscribe and rate this episode, and I look forward to connecting with you on social media at toksaruoture. Until next time!
EXCITING NEWS! I'll be hosting a PR workshop titled 'Transform Your Stories into Headlines.' this coming 18th of May at 7pm via Zoom. Learn storytelling, media relations, and guerrilla tactics for personal and business brand success.
Want to learn more? Check out all the details and secure your spot at this link.
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This week we are continuing our 'entrepreneur' series and exploring what it looks like to be a Christian entrepreneur. I considered naming this episode The Spiritual Entrepreneur, but I realised that "spiritual" can mean many things to different people. So, it helps to be clear on this.
Personal Story: Finding Guidance
My earliest recollection of leaning on God for guidance as a Christian businesswoman was when I prayed for a mentor. God took my cry for help seriously and sent me Betsy Stevenson, a wonderful mentor who guided me through the fog. Her warmth and friendship is why I am committed to mentoring women entrepreneurs.
God's Intervention in Business Decisions
I’ve experienced God’s intervention numerous times in my business journey, from deciding whether to sell my store to navigating the complexities of building a website. Each time, His guidance was clear and led to remarkable outcomes.
Learning from Challenges
Through prayer and obedience, I’ve learned valuable lessons in business. Obedience in one area often releases favour in another, leading to unexpected opportunities and growth.
Inviting God into your Business
How can you include God in the running of your business? Believe in His desire to see you succeed, pray from a place of victory, and know that obedience often leads to favour and blessings.
Announcements
If you missed my interview with Channels TV, it will re-air this Saturday at 7:30pm on the programme Africans in Diaspora. Also, I have a PR workshop coming up in May. Send me a message to learn more.
Workshops & CoursesI am excited to announce our upcoming PR on a Shoestring Workshop.
One thing I can say after being in business for almost 20 years is that PR is essential. My business would not be where it is without PR. Having started with $75, I had no budget to pay an agency or pay for advertising. Yet, I ended up in national and international publications like Vogue, Hello!, Architectural Digest, The Telegraph., Times, Channel 4, ITV, BBC, and so many more. In this workshop, I will teach you all I know to get yourself into the media without having to pay thousands. Email [email protected] to register your interest, and we will add you to the list once we finalise the details.
Your Rock Star Story
Your story is waiting to be written. If you don't write it, someone will do so for you; it will soon become your narrative. Some of us are already living someone else's version of our story. End that today and purchase the Introduction to Your Rock Star Story course. This is a 2-hour video that allows you to work through the process at your own pace. My story took me from hiding to the TEDx stage. What I was once ashamed of became my calling card. And you can do the same for yourself today.
If you have not subscribed to and rated the Living Inside Out podcast, please do so on your favourite podcast app. It helps me grow my listenership and reach more people with relevant content. Thank you!
Gratitude
Thank you for tuning in and listening to this podcast. If it has blessed you in any way, please share it with your friends and give us a five-star rating. I wish you a fantastic day ahead. God bless you.
Resources:
Betsy Stevenson, founder of Clear Creek GroupToks Aruoture's TED Talk: Channels TV interview: Diaspora NetworkWebsite - Show more
