Episodes
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If itâs not a matter of my physical location, or my circumstances, it comes down to it being a matter of direction.
âSimply beginningâ is a great sentiment, and an effective practice when possible, but in my case, itâs often better in theory. Most days I donât know where to begin, let alone how. So, when that happens I try to follow my curiosity. I let tiny cravings speak more loudly if they feel worth pursuing. It doesnât have to be productive or sufficient or even important. It just has to be interesting enough to convince me to start. To stop scrolling and do literally anything else.
Thereâs no right or wrong method here that works all the time, there are just techniques that can sometimes break the cycle of consternation that often comes from a lack of direction and access to the internet.
Quoting Bourdain again here, âMaybe thatâs enlightenment enough: to know that there is no final resting place of the mind; no moment of smug clarity. Perhaps wisdom...is realizing how small I am, and unwise, and how far I have yet to go.â
So, instead of looking for clarity, I will continue to experiment with the options I can think of until one of them works this time, and next time Iâll try again and again until I find what works for that version of myself
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
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Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Because thatâs the thing for me: the idea of almost everything scares me but the practice often leaves me room to surprise myself.
Anthony Bourdain said something like, âYour body is not a temple, itâs an amusement park, enjoy the ride.â And I fuck with that heavy.
Like most people, I do better when I have something to look forward to, outside of my daily chores and needs and expectations. When I have small goals that feel fun and interesting and exciting to work towards, life feels lighter. It provides me with space to experience more enjoyment in getting my base needs met, and I donât dread everything nearly as much as I do when I have nothing to look forward to.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Missing episodes?
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I've been trying not to let myself identify with the pain but it's easier said than done. it's easier when you fill your time with so much good that there is less space for the painful patterns to persist.
"if you're trying to love yourself, you already do. where do you think the trying comes from?"
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Our emotions are houseguests not permanent residents. I am the ocean.
The Hannah Ro Writes Quote
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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(re-release) If youâre struggling to know whether or not youâre falling victim to the sunken cost fallacy in your current relationships, there are some reflective questions you can ask to check in and ensure youâre not settling.
Do you feel like you need to stay in your relationships?
Or do you feel like you want to stay in your relationships?
Do you resent the amount of time or energy youâve put in? Or do you focus more on the amount youâve grown and changed together through that energy?
If you find yourself focusing more on the things youâve lost in your relationships (which are things you can never recover) rather than the things you have gained? (which is growth you can never lose) than you may be staying out of obligation rather than desire - which is a surefire way to build resentment and toxicity in your relationships, if you havenât already.
Realize that past investment is exactly that. Your time and your energy and your efforts cannot be recovered - no matter what happens next.
Ask yourself, if you were starting over today, would you choose this person again? I do that regularly when I clean out my closet and decide what clothing gets to stay - as well as with my relationships and friendships to really ensure that I am continuously choosing people who are best for me and where I would like to go.
Then imagine what the future will likely look like if things remain as they are right now, with your person. What do you feel about that? Would anything NEED to change on your end or on their end to make a happy union more likely?
Think about a time when you have left a relationship in the past. Is that a relationship you wish you had back? Probably not. Making the decision to leave is often the hardest part. But cutting your losses now will be easier than cutting even higher and broader losses in the future.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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(rerelease) People seem to think because they have invested months or years of time into a person that they shouldnât give up on the potential for them to change, when their current reality is miserable and undeniably better if they cut ties.
I have heard countless friends justify staying too long bad relationships with âbut weâve been together for so longâ or âIâve put so many years into this,â or and âweâve worked so hard at it,â or âWe just have so much historyâ
The key to not falling victim to the sunk cost fallacy is by being real with yourself about the reality of your current state and remember that ALL sunken costs cannot be recovered.
Forget the past instead of dwelling on what used to be or how hard you worked, instead get real about the current costs and current benefits - and if the current costs arenât outweighing the current benefits or looking like theyâre going to realistically change in the foreseeable future, you gotta cut your losses.
Remember as humans, we have a tendency to fear losses more than we expect gains - so we must keep that in mind when we find ourselves clinging to things that weâre far better off without.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Rejection feels brutal because society taught us our value is in being chosen. What if we deconstruct that premise, together?
It's about relief, not romance. It's about validation, not love.
"If no one is going to arrive and pick you, you make yourself impossible not to keep. You become useful." - Meredith
THE SOURCE: https://aftertheclouds.substack.com/p/the-fantasy-of-being-chosen-and-how
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Do you know what you'd want to eat next if there was nobody else involved in the decision making process?
What would you do if you didn't have to please or consider anyone else?
Olivia is Growing's Post: https://www.tiktok.com/@oliviaisgrowing/photo/7639965256235633934
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Do you struggle to answer the question: "what do I want?"
Do you tend to put other people's needs above your own?
Do you think the only way to be loved is through being helpful?
Constantly making choices that put other people's needs before your own that force us to abandon our own well-being can slowly erode our ability to understand what we want.
It doesn't feel like self-abandonment. It feels like "keeping the peace" or "getting through it". So we dismiss ourselves and our basic needs, and that pattern becomes a habit. Self-neglect becomes the norm.
We minimize ourselves out of fear of pushing people away.
But this is dangerous. And counter-intuitive. We build better, more connected relationships when we allow ourselves to connect to ourselves, first.
THE SOURCE: https://positivepsychology.com/self-abandonment/
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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a relationship is a space for both of us to breathe, when it no longer creates that space, we must be willing to detach from our expectations.
Angela Han: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8ssTnrs/
life in focus with suttida: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8sGMw2k/
Jay: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8sG6RLT/
empathy without boundaries is dangerous and a form of self abandonment.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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a relationship is a space for both of us to breathe, when it no longer creates that space, we must be willing to detach from our expectations.
Angela Han: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8ssTnrs/
life in focus with suttida: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8sGMw2k/
Jay: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8sG6RLT/
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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I tend to neglect myself in relationships so I can focus more on creating peace + wellbeing in others, over my own.
A good, healthy relationship will provide space to become more yourself. I have never experienced this. I feel this tendency to erase myself and nurture others with that extra energy.
âLove is not staying. Love is showing up. If you cannot stay and show up then what your offering is not intimacy, itâs absence with good intentions.â - Justin Scott
The Inspiration Videos:
Justin Scott on relational self erasure: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8sG1g1g/
Amber Akilla's Video on Detachment: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8ssKsMv/
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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don't die. - some days this is finding joy to keep me moving, other days it's simply not dying even though I can't move. don't let shame drive the car. - shame is a violent toddler throwing a very persuasive temper tantrum in the backseat. I have to stop giving that jerk the keys to the car. don't future trip. - if I lost someone I never dreamed of losing I also have to leave space to believe I can gain someone I never dreamed it was possible to gain. be gentle with the process. - compassion is key. I'm treating myself like a baby. Like a puppy. Lots of treats, walks, forced playtime, enrichment, and a snuggly little cozy bed to rest in.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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He went to a wedding without me. He lied about my dad being sick when people asked about me. He was also regularly asking a woman from work if he could come meet up with her before shifts and after shifts. He had said "I love you" to another woman he sent thousands to for photos. I was devastated. And I spiraled. I hit rock bottom.
So I spent a week drilling in. Leaning into the horrors and demons. I got some closure but all the answers in the world will never be enough.
You can't explain a chaotic choice like cheating or betrayal.
But it has reminded me that I'm responsible for protecting my spark. He took it and snuffed it out, but I am fully capable of relighting it. I will keep it safe myself, and never trust anyone to be responsible for it again.
My goal is to not hate him. And as far as I can tell, it's his goal too. I still waffle between anger/hatred/contempt/ick to despair/fear/unworthiness/shame/sadness and complete confusion/betrayal/alarm at the unpredictability of humans. But for now, I'm honoring the part of me that wants to save myself. I'm relighting my spark. I'm nurturing myself with compassion and grace and patience I couldn't find in someone else. And that has to be enough for now.
I shouldn't have needed to hit rock bottom to remember to take care of myself, and I'll never let myself get to that point again.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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He didn't find it funny, as tricksters rarely do.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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This motherfucker looked me in my eyes and said I promise there is nothing else that will upset you in here.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Today's episode is explicit.... but not as explicit as tomorrow's.
This motherfucker looked me in my eyes and said I promise there is nothing else that will upset you in here. That... was a lie.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Coyotes represent a trickster spirit, thank goodness there aren't coyotes in this suburb of Florida.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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I fall asleep ruminating. I wake up ruminating. Things are blinking and flashing on my dash but I canât figure it out so I just keep trucking. I stop creating. It feels suddenly like math is a farce and chaos and disorder is the only reality.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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âI donât like it when the math ainât mathing.â - KENTHEMAN
I can do anything temporarily as long as there's hope at the end of the tunnel. The problem is, if I can't see that light? I'm gonna be freaking out until I believe there's hope ahead.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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