Episodes
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How do you make a mixed-orientation relationship work? There are SO many ways. In this episode, Libby talks with Fernanda of the Polycurious Podcast about how she does it with her partner, who is monogamous.
You can find Fernanda’s work here:
https://www.polycurious.com/
https://www.instagram.com/polycuriouspodcast/
https://www.youtube.com/@polycuriouspodcast
https://www.tiktok.com/@polycurious
Here’s the interview I did with Fer a few months back: https://youtu.be/-PGn9T1PbO8?si=-kWJ1fiqJKIWpg0T
(Oh and according to the ONE YouTube commenter I’m a “nightmare” so that’s my first hate comment! Achievement unlocked!)
Link to get on my email list: https://www.libbysinback.com/email
Workbook: https://www.libbysinback.com/workbook
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Learning to hold space for people you love is an essential relationship skill. In this episode, Libby breaks down what holding space is, why it's important, and how to practice it.
Join my email list to learn about the new membership offering coming soon! https://www.libbysinback.com/email
What it Means to Hold Space for Someone by Heather Plett: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/11-things-that-will-help-you-hold-space-for-someone-0523175
11 Ways to Hold Space for Someone by Reaca Pearl: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/11-things-that-will-help-you-hold-space-for-someone-0523175
Morgan Burch: https://www.instagram.com/goodmorgantherapy/
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Missing episodes?
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Meet John and Jamie, a made-up couple with a very real story. What do you think? Should they open their marriage?
SHOW LINKS
Emily Nagoski on Making Polyamory Work: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/makingpolywork/episodes/Maintenance-Sx-with-Emily-Nagoski-e2kpe5p/a-abbns15
Fair Play by Eve Rodsky: https://bookshop.org/a/91754/9780525541943
All About Love by bell hooks: https://bookshop.org/a/91754/9780060959470
(I also recommend The Will to Change by the same author)
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Also! Libby has created a workbook based on the most popular episodes of the podcast — with simple practices and reflection questions so that you can apply this stuff to your life.
Go to https://libbysinback.com/workbook to get your copy.
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Sometimes in polyamorous relationships, our attachment system gets activated, something Jessica Fern calls "primal panic" in her book Polysecure. In this episode, Libby discusses primal panic, what can trigger it, and some tools to navigate it.
SHOW LINKS:
Join Libby for an Open Community Call: https://go.libbysinback.com/community-calls
Polysecure by Jessica Fern: https://bookshop.org/a/91754/9781944934989
Leaning In Episode: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/makingpolywork/episodes/Leaning-In-e3c7lgc/a-acbv8i2
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Also! Libby has created a workbook based on the most popular episodes of the podcast — with simple practices and reflection questions so that you can apply this stuff to your life.
Go to https://libbysinback.com/workbook to get your copy.
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Libby is joined by Mel Cassidy, author of the new book, Radical Relating, A Queer and Polyamory-Informed Guide to Love Beyond the Myth of Monogamy to answer a listener question: how do I handle things if I'm having dating success and my partner isn't? I'm having a joyful, expansive experience, and my partner is sitting on the bench feeling unwanted and envious? This experience is so common and Libby and Mel dive into some tools that can help including some somatic practices for both people.
Mel Cassidy's website: https://radicalrelating.ca/
Mel's book: https://bookshop.org/a/91754/9798889842453
Mel's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radicalrelating/?
Links
Join an Open Community Call
https://go.libbysinback.com/community-calls
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Also! Libby has created a workbook based on the most popular episodes of the podcast — with simple practices and reflection questions so that you can apply this stuff to your life.
Go to https://libbysinback.com/workbook to get your copy.
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Most advice about polyamory focuses on established couples, often overlooking the unique challenges faced by "incoming partners" aka those entering a relationship with someone who already has a long-established relationship. In this episode, Libby offers support and advice for those incoming partners so that they can feel empowered in a situation that can feel really tricky to navigate.
Episodes referenced in the episode
Veto Happens https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/makingpolywork/episodes/When-is-it-Okay-to-Have-a-One-Pnis-Policy-e1ddpq3
Is Hierarchy Bad? https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/makingpolywork/episodes/Is-Hierarchy-bad-e2hu61d
A Rule is just a Bad Agreement https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/makingpolywork/episodes/A-Rule-is-just-a-Bad-Agreement-e1alt5u
One P*nis Policy https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/makingpolywork/episodes/When-is-it-Okay-to-Have-a-One-Pnis-Policy-e1ddpq3
How to Date a Couple https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/makingpolywork/episodes/Dating-as-a-Couple-e2b7u8a
This May be a Bitter Pill https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/makingpolywork/episodes/This-May-Be-a-Bitter-Pill-e1e1eoe
Current offerings from Libby
Join an Open Community Call
https://go.libbysinback.com/community-calls
What Actually Makes Polyamory Work - the Workshop
https://libbysinback.com/workshop
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Libby invites Laura Boyle of Ready for Polyamory to join her on the show to talk about living together, chores, finances, coparenting, and more - all things having to do with cohabiting and polyamory.
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Show Links:
Laura's website: https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/
Laura's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/readyforpolyamory/
Monogamy? In this Economy? (The Book):
https://bookshop.org/a/91754/9781805011187
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Also! Libby has created a workbook based on the most popular episodes of the podcast — with simple practices and reflection questions so that you can apply this stuff to your life.
Go to https://libbysinback.com/workbook to get your copy.
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Libby talks about feeling grief and letting it move through you rather than being in a state of constant fixing as a way of avoiding it.
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My episode on holding space: https://www.makingpolyamorywork.com/episodes/no-advice-please
What it Means to Hold Space for Someone by Heather Plett
11 Ways to Hold Space for Someone by Reaca Pearl
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Also! Libby has created a workbook based on the most popular episodes of the podcast — with simple practices and reflection questions so that you can apply this stuff to your life.
Go to https://libbysinback.com/workbook to get your copy.
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Visit https://makingpolyamorywork.com to search back episodes
Libby's coaching website: https://libbysinback.com
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Libby invites Mia Schacter of Consent Wizardry to join her to answer two listener questions. The first one asks, what if I don't feel intense NRE with a new partner? Does that mean something or is it okay? The second asks, Is it okay for me to not want my partner to date monogamous people or is that something I need to learn to be okay with?
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Find Consent Wizardry
on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/consent.wizardry/
on Substack: https://consentwizardry.substack.com/
on the web: https://consentwizardry.com/
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Also! Libby has created a workbook based on the most popular episodes of the podcast — with simple practices and reflection questions so that you can apply this stuff to your life.
Go to https://libbysinback.com/workbook to get your copy.
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Visit https://makingpolyamorywork.com to search back episodes
Libby's coaching website: https://libbysinback.com
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Libby invites her spouse, Drew to talk the established partner's side of the experience LIbby described in Gamechanger.
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Also! Libby has created a workbook based on the most popular episodes of the podcast — with simple practices and reflection questions so that you can apply this stuff to your life.
Go to https://libbysinback.com/workbook to get your copy.
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Visit https://makingpolyamorywork.com to search back episodes
Libby's coaching website: https://libbysinback.com
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What happens when a new relationship completely upends everything you thought you knew about yourself? What if that person is a catalyst for more love, sexiness, and aliveness than you ever thought was possible? What does that mean for your existing relationship(s)? In this episode Libby shares her thoughts and a very personal part of her own journey.
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Also! Libby has created a workbook based on the most popular episodes of the podcast — with simple practices and reflection questions so that you can apply this stuff to your life.
Go to https://libbysinback.com/workbook to get your copy.
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Visit https://makingpolyamorywork.com to search back episodes
Libby's coaching website: https://libbysinback.com
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Libby answers a common listener question: When starting a new relationship when you both know you want non-mongamy -- should you be open from the beginning, or should you be monogamous while you establish your partnership? Even if this isn't where you are right now in your polyamory journey, there's something for everyone here in Libby's thoughtful return to Making Polyamory Work.
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Also! Libby has created a workbook based on the most popular episodes of the podcast — with simple practices and reflection questions so that you can apply this stuff to your life.
Go to https://libbysinback.com/workbook to get your copy.
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Visit https://makingpolyamorywork.com to search back episodes
Libby's coaching website: https://libbysinback.com
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In Part 2 of Libby's conversation with Emily Nagoski, there's a deeper conversation about the concept of "maintenance s*x" and how you may be doing it to safe your relationship, but it may actually be destroying it.
Emily Nagoski's website: https://www.emilynagoski.com/ Emily Nagoski on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enagoski/
Emily Nagoski's books (highly recommended!): https://bookshop.org/contributors/emily-nagoski-4318b5e2-0f22-4415-963b-ce5a1f467607
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The amazing Emily Nagoski joins Libby on Making Polyamory Work to drop truth bomb after truth bomb about sex in long-term relationships.
Emily Nagoski's website: https://www.emilynagoski.com/ Emily Nagoski on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enagoski/
Emily Nagoski's books (highly recommended!): https://bookshop.org/contributors/emily-nagoski-4318b5e2-0f22-4415-963b-ce5a1f467607
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The Multiamory crew takes over Making Polyamory Work to talk about aggressive fairness in polyamory, what it looks like, and how you can find equity in your relationships.
Multiamory's website: https://www.multiamory.com/
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Let's think about dating and rejection differently. Shine your light.
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What happens when your relationship (or your life) doesn't look the way you thought it would or were told it was supposed to look? Libby talks with Carrie Jeroslow about how having a relationship diversity mindset may help you make peace and even embrace with how your life and love actually work for YOU.
Carrie's Website: https://www.carriejeroslow.com/
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If you're struggling and need help with your relationships, where should you turn? Libby shares her advice on how to find good help.
Meta analyses of studies that show that therapeutic alliance matters more than therapeutic modality for positive outcomes in therapy: https://psycnet.apa.org/PsycARTICLES/journal/pst/55/4
APA article explaining: https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/11/ce-corner-relationships
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What is compersion? Can you cultivate compersion in yourself and in your relationships? Libby invites Marie Thouin, PhD to discuss her research and book on this important and sometimes misunderstood topic in polyamory.
Marie's book! https://rowman.com/ISBN/9781538183939/What-Is-Compersion-Understanding-Positive-Empathy-in-Consensually-Non-Monogamous-Relationships
Marie's Compersion Resources: https://www.whatiscompersion.com/
Marie's Coaching Website: https://www.loveinsight-dating.com/
Marie's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/love_insight_dating/
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Libby is joined by Genevieve King of Chill Polyamory to discuss individualism, community care, and ways you can shift your mindset to ecological thinking within polyamorous (or not!) relationship structures.
Genevieve's Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/chillpolyamory
Genevieve on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3PUizxdp_vj2A5fUdBgzgw
Genevieve's website: https://www.chillpolyamory.com/
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