Episoder
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Boy moms⊠this Gup Shup is for us.
After a recent conversation with my teenage son, I found myself reflecting on something Iâve been really intentional about while raising boys:
creating a home where disagreement feels safe.
IMO, so many boys grow up learning how to keep the peace⊠by staying silent but not necessarily how to communicate through conflict.Especially in a lot of South Asian homes where boys are deeply loved, protected, and prioritized â but sometimes unintentionally taught that speaking up, pushing back, expressing frustration, or holding boundaries feels disrespectful. And because vulnerability is often discouraged in boys, we sometimes only allow emotion once it comes out as anger. So sadness becomes irritability. Overwhelm becomes shutdown. Hurt becomes rage. And emotional expression becomes acceptable only when it shows up loudly.
Later, I see so many adult men struggle with speaking up, communicating honestly, holding boundaries, or balancing the emotional pull between their relationships, their mothers, and their partners.
And honestly, I want something different for my boys. I want them to be able to stay connected to the people they love without losing themselves in the process. I also think when we talk about menâs mental health, we often start the conversation once boys have already become men. But sooooo much of it starts earlier.
We know suicide rates remain incredibly high in men. We know many men isolate their thoughts, suppress emotion, avoid vulnerability, or cope through distraction, overworking, substance use, or anything that helps âtake the edge offâ instead of actually processing what they feel.And I canât help but wonder how many boys first learned that emotional discomfort should stay inside
In this MFU Gup Shup, Iâm reflecting on emotional safety, âgood boyâ conditioning, parenting with intention, boys and emotional suppression, and why emotionally safe relationships in childhood matter more than we realize.
I donât believe boys magically become emotionally avoidant men overnight. And also, Iâm not trying to raise âgood boys.â Iâm trying to raise emotionally whole men.
Support the show
If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. -
Some conversations stay with you because they answer questions. This one stayed with me because it opened more of them. Patty is back on the podcast after Episode 165 because honestly⊠we werenât done yet. I love talking with Patty because whenever we get together â on or off screen, we ask about the things we have been wondering about.
Last time we talked about the emotional world of children of immigrants. The guilt. The obedience. The pressure. The ways so many of us learned to survive by being âgood.â But underneath that conversation was something bigger around identity, belonging, and what it means to raise children across race and culture.
So this episode became two Brown women sitting together thinking out loud. Curious about interracial relationships. Curious about biracial identity. Curious about the âin betweenâ worlds so many kids quietly navigate every single day.
Patty is an Indian psychologist, writer, and mother who raised two adult Black and Brown daughters in the U.S. and this conversation went far beyond the trap of âlove is love.â We talked about the reality that interracial relationships are not all experienced the same way.
Because when a person of colour is in relationship with a white person, there are historical, societal, and systemic power dynamics there whether we name them or not. And part of the responsibility of the non BIPOC partner is not only understanding those dynamics themselves but helping their families understand their role in it too.
We talked about what it means to raise children who may constantly be navigating questions around belonging, visibility, identity, and worth. Kids who may not always have the language for what theyâre experiencing but are absolutely feeling it.
And I keep thinking about this idea that whether our biracial kids talk to us about it or not, better believe they are living in an âin betweenâ world. And we as parents are responsible for helping guide them toward wholeness instead of fragmentation. That there is no âhalf, quarter, but wholeness all around.
This conversation is layered, honest, curious, uncomfortable at times, and so so human. As you know, here at MFU, it is not about having all the answers, but about talking, building our own data. We are just scratching the surface.
Just two women sitting together trying to ask better questions.We would love to keep this convo going, please reach out with your thoughts, feelings, experiences.
Follow Patty@pjtemple7
Support the show
If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. -
Mangler du episoder?
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This episode felt special to me.
I sat down with Harvi â a soon-to-be high school graduate heading into psychology â for a conversation about growing up as children of immigrants, and honestly⊠it became so much bigger than I expected.
We talked about the invisible weight so many of us carry: the love, sacrifice, and survival behind our parentsâ journeys, alongside the pressure to achieve, be grateful, stay âgood,â and keep everything together.
And while preparing for this episode, I realized I didnât want this to feel like a typical interview.
I kept thinking⊠what if Harvi and I approached this like we were writing a guidebook together? Not one with perfect answers, but one that tries to make sense of the complicated space between immigrant parents and their children.
And somewhere in the middle of preparing for this EP, the title became clear (LOL)
We Turned Out Fine⊠But Also, Did We?
A guide for immigrant parents, their children, and everything weâre still figuring out in between.
Throughout this conversation, we unpack:
-what our parents carried through migration, survival, and intergenerational trauma
-how pressure can sometimes be disguised as protection
-the âgood daughterâ role, how our mothers pass what they know down through their day to day, and how it shapes identity
-the myth of balance and why busyness often replaces peace
-mental health stigma in South Asian and immigrant communities
-achievement-based self-worth, perfectionism, and emotional suppression
-what it means to unlearn survival patterns that were once praised
and the complicated space between empathizing with our parents while still being honest about the impact certain things had on us
What I loved most about this conversation is that it never became a blame game. It became about curiosity. About trying to understand what shaped our parents⊠while also being honest about what shaped us.
Harvi brought so much wisdom, honesty, and gentleness into this conversation, especially as someone still living these experiences in real time. Huge shout out to this young, wise soul!
So whether youâre a parent trying to do better, a child of immigrants trying to understand yourself, or someone somewhere in the middle of both â I hope this episode makes you feel seen.
And maybe even gives you language for things youâve felt for a really long time.
Instagram: harvi.gilllSupport the show
If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. -
This episode is dedicated to our bodies.
The Brown ones. The bloated ones. The strong ones. The âwhy is my head filled with negativity about my body" ones.
I've been thinking a lot lately about how we were taught to fix our bodies before fully living in them. How little we learned to trust our gut, to understand the connection between mind and body. And how hard it is now to tune in.
This week on Middle Fingers Up, I sit down with Andrea: a South Asian mental health professional and content creator based in Australia --to talk about body image, fitness culture, the flat belly myth, BMI, hormones, and the exhausting experience of trying to achieve a beauty standard many of us were literally never built for.
We talk about:
-striving for a whiter ideal(even when we think we aren't. )
-why generic health advice often fails Brown women
-and how our body becomes something we monitor instead of something we build a relationship with.
One of the biggest takeaways?
We may not be able to stop people from commenting on womenâs bodies. Those aunties, guys and society...But we can stop turning those comments into our identity.
Also: maybe the goal isnât a flat stomach.
Maybe the goal is finally taking up space without apologizing for it. The tummy is the new black.
Listen now if youâve ever:
avoided the photo,
changed your outfit 14 times,
or believed your worth increased every time your body got smaller.
Middle Fingers Up to all of it.Instagram: andreasamtani
Support the show
If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. -
In this episode, I sit down with psychologist and writer Patty for a powerful conversation about the inner worlds of children of immigrants and how childhood conditioning continues to shape adult identity, relationships, and wellbeing.
Patty brings both clinical expertise and lived experience as an Indian psychologist, a mother raising two biracial daughters, and someone navigating life and partnership across race and culture. Together, we explore how obedience, guilt, silence, and sacrifice are often normalized in immigrant households and how those patterns quietly follow people into adulthood.
This episode examines why so many children of immigrants grow up lacking language for their emotional experiences, how unprocessed conflict and missing repair shape anxiety and shame, and why saying âI turned out fineâ often masks deeper burnout, disconnection, or physical symptoms. Rather than staying stuck in the past, the focus is on what healing can look like now and how doing this work impacts future generations.
From parenting differently, to redefining responsibility and gratitude, to understanding how the body holds stress and trauma, this conversation invites listeners to get curious, question inherited narratives, and reclaim authorship over their own lives.
If you grew up between cultures and have ever wondered âWhere is this coming from?â or âWho am I outside of who I was taught to be?â, this episode offers language, validation, and a place to begin.Instagram: pjtemple7
Website: pjtemple.com
Support the show
If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. -
Wedding season is meant to be joyful, full of love, music, and celebration.
However in this EP, we are naming what happens when youâre walking into those spaces carrying something else.
A welcome back to guest to Mohini, who is here to share her experiences with the in-between momentsâthe ones we donât always name. The reality that you can be genuinely happy for someone you love⊠and still be grieving, questioning, or processing something in your own life at the same time.
We get into what that actually looks like in real time, how unprocessed emotions donât just disappear, they show up in the way we move, react, and cope. We also talk about the subtle (and not so subtle) ways divorced South Asian women are labeled in these spacesâand how that shapes the experience of being there.
This isnât about taking away from the celebration.
Itâs about giving ourselves permission to be honest about what weâre carrying while weâre in it.
If youâve ever felt like you had to be âfineâ in a room where you werenât⊠this one is for you. And if you know someone that maybe isn't as 'fine' as they say to be- check in on them. Like one of those "but how are you really doing" kind of check ins. Wedding season can be tough, divorce stigma is a real thing, and we all can bring a little extra compassion with us.
You donât have to be over it to show up. You just have to be honest about where you are.Instagram: iammohinigima
CTA - This conversation doesnât end here.
If something landed for you, reach out to Mohini via IGâsheâs open to hearing your story and continuing the dialogue.Support the show
If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. -
Featured in The New Yorker and The Guardian, Sarah is a Nigerian child of immigrants, raised in the UK and now based in Canada, whose work as a cartoonist captures the quiet, in-between moments we donât always have the language for.
If youâve ever found yourself in a room thinking, âwhy doesnât this feel right anymore?â⊠this conversation will hit.
We talk about what it means to make sense of ourselves in a world that once taught us to suppress more than we expressed. From the question of âDo I belong, or am I just fitting in?â to navigating identity as children of immigrants, this conversation moves through the layers of growth, culture, and the subtle shifts that shape how we show up in our relationships.
Sarah shares how her art has become a mirrorâespecially for women of colorâreflecting back the feelings so many of us carry but struggle to name. And I can say, she did exactly that for me.
This is for the woman who feels in-between... and is learning to trust what she feels, even when she canât fully explain it yet.Instagram: sarah_akinterinwa
Support the show
If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. -
In this episode, I sit down with artist, mother, and fellow Randhawa, Harleen, to explore what happens when we stop performing the lives expected of us and start expressing our truth.
Having immigrated to Canada as a baby, Harleen grew up in the in-between, navigating identity as a child of Indian immigrants while learning who she needed to be to belong. She shares her journey through body image struggles, fat shaming, and the pressure to be the âgood girl, a version of herself shaped by family, culture, and the quiet weight of societal expectations.
From writing a letter to God at 12 asking why she didnât look âright,â to navigating grief after the loss of her mother, to leaving corporate work life to pursue her art. This conversation is about unlearning. Unlearning the belief that our bodies are the problem. Unlearning the idea that being âgoodâ matters more than being whole.
We talk about how beauty standards are constructed and reinforced, why fatness is so often villainized, and how language, family dynamics, and systems like patriarchy and white supremacy quietly shape what women believe theyâre allowed to be.
We also explore what it means to mother yourself while raising daughters, to break cycles in real time, and to create a life where 'we' and the next generation donât feel like we have to disappear to be loved.
At its core, this is a conversation about honoring your younger self, questioning the rules you were handed, and choosing joy, expression, and authenticity.
Join the conversation:
Whatâs one thing youâre ready to stop performing?Follow Harleenâs work:
Instagram: harleen.illustrates
Support the show
If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. -
A song comes on⊠and Iâm not here anymore. Iâm in a neural time machine and 15 again. And I donât just remember itâI feel it.
In this episode, I sit down with Nikkiâa therapist with a Masterâs in Arts and Counselling, and who I like to refer to as the voice behind The Mental Health Stylist. She blends fashion, music, and therapeutic insight in a way that makes nostalgia feel⊠deeper.
We talk about neural nostalgiaâwhy music hits our body before our mind can catch up, and why the same songs can feel comforting⊠and heavier at the same time.
Nikki also shares her storyâfrom growing up in a small Alberta town to building a life and practice in BCâand the identity shifts that shaped her along the way.
We get into:
how identity lives in the body, not just our thoughts
what women are really working through when it comes to identity and unlearning
why we were taught to disconnect from our bodies
what it means to outgrow versions of ourselvesâbut still feel attached to them
And we donât avoid the harder conversationsâlike what it means for white people, especially therapists, to show up with awareness, accountability, and a willingness to be uncomfortable.
Itâs reflective, honest, and one of those conversations that might make you pause the next time a song takes you back.
If thatâs ever happened to youâthis oneâs for you.
What song takes you back in a neural time machine?Instagram: nikkiroy.collection
Support the show
If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. -
We say it all the time: âIâm just here for the music.â
But⊠are we?
In this episode, I sit down with Ali from @itsrealitywithali to unpack something Iâve been thinking about a lot lately â how pop culture stopped being âjust entertainmentâ and became a reflection of power, politics, and the systems shaping our everyday lives.
This conversation actually started in my own home. My kids have been asking questions like, âWhatâs this celebrityâs controversy?â â and it made me realize how different things are from how we grew up.
Now I find myself asking:
Am I helping improve things⊠or just participating without thinking about it?
Ali and I talk about what it really means to engage with the content we love â and how hard it can be to admit that âjust entertainmentâ might not exist in the way we think it does. We get into the tension of separating the art from the artist, what it means to financially and socially support celebrities, and how influence, platforms, and power are all deeply connected.
We also explore how identity and privilege shape that experience â why some people can disconnect more easily, while others are already navigating what it means to not be centered in those spaces.
This isnât about getting it perfect.
Itâs about asking:
What am I engaging with? What am I supporting?
And am I willing to look at it through a more critical lens?Instagram: itsrealitywithali (you can find Ali on Tik Tok and YouTube)
Support the show
If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. -
This episode is about shifting the way we think about our bodies â even as our day-to-day bumps up against old rules, comparisons, and messages (or should we say misogynies) weâve inherited.
We are here to challenge the pressure to look a certain way, diet culture, celebrity trends, or "finishing the plate". Itâs about noticing what our bodies are actually carrying and listening without shame.
Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, âHow did my body get here?â Life happens: stress, grief, motherhood, getting older, carrying more than you used to. And yet the advice so many women hear is the same: eat less, move more.
In this MFU gup shup, I sit down with returning guest Shuraya to talk about what our bodies really carry. Shuraya shares how losing her father showed up physically â from unexpected weight changes to a hypertension diagnosis â and how therapy helped her finally listen to her body and respond with care instead of guilt.
We also discuss the ACEs tool (Adverse Childhood Experiences) and why early life stress and trauma can show up physically years later, shaping health in ways we rarely talk about.
At the heart of this episode is one simple, radical idea: sometimes the better question isnât whatâs wrong with my body?
Maybe the real question is: what has my body been carrying?
Support the show
If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. -
Safe space. Youâve heard the term everywhere lately â but what does it actually mean? Who is responsible for the 'safety' part of the space?
In this gup shup, we sit with a phrase that shows up everywhere lately: safe space.
From social media to wellness circles to community conversations, the language is everywhere â but the experience doesnât always match the label.
Looking at the roots of safe spaces in Black civil rights organizing, feminist consciousness-raising groups, and queer and trans communities, alongside trauma-informed practice and psychological safety research, we explore what it really means to hold space for one another.
Historically, these spaces werenât created to remove discomfort. They were created so people could speak honestly, question power, and sit with difficult truths without fear of punishment or harm.
Because at the end of the day, safety comes before connection.Support the show
If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. -
In this episode of Middle Fingers Up, we sit down with Rama Swamy, a pelvic floor practitioner and physiotherapist who immigrated from India, for a necessary and overdue conversation about womenâs health â the parts we were never taught to understand, name, or advocate for.
Drawing from her lived experience with pregnancy, birth, and postpartum recovery, Rama shares how cultural taboos, education gaps, and the normalization of womenâs pain led her to specialize in pelvic health. Together, we unpack how silence â at home, in culture, in schools, and in healthcare systems â teaches women to endure rather than investigate whatâs happening in their bodies.
From the isolating period stories many South Asian women grew up with, to the ongoing fear around teaching children about bodies, hormones, and autonomy, this conversation challenges the idea that symptoms like chronic stress, mood swings, poor sleep, pain, or recurring infections are âjust normal.â
A key part of this episode focuses on teaching body literacy early â long before puberty or âthe talk.â We explore how everyday moments, starting as young as diaper changes, can lay the foundation for consent, confidence, and body awareness, and how early education helps reduce shame, stigma, and delayed care later in life.
This episode reframes womenâs health as head-to-toe and deeply interconnected â where hormones affect sleep, mood, brain function, stress, and pelvic health â and why ignoring early signs doesnât make them disappear, it simply pushes them further into the body.
CTA:
If you grew up in the dark about your body â or youâre trying to raise children with more honesty, language, and confidence than you were given â this episode is for you. Listen, share it with someone who needs it, and help us break the cycle of silence around womenâs health, one conversation at a time.Instagram: _rama.swami_
www.lakeviewphysio.ca
www.healwithgrit.com
Support the show
If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. -
In this episode of Middle Fingers Up, Iâm in conversation with Farida D, author of The Shit That Made Me a Feminist â a body of work that names the lived realities many women are taught to swallow quietly.
Out of respect for her safety, this episode is audio-only. Faridaâs work â which centers women of color, power, rage, and structural inequality â does not allow her the privilege of visibility without risk. And yet, she has chosen not to stop. She continues to speak, write, and show up for women, even when doing so requires navigating the cost of being seen.
This conversation moves through the âshitâ that made feminism unavoidable â the moments where being grateful was expected instead of being honest, where motherhood shocked the system, where rage became information, and where the bar for men ended exactly where it began for women.
We talk about:
Why we are all born feminist, long before we have language for it
How boys are given credit before theyâre even born
Why we do not choose our privileges or our oppressions
The difference between having access to education but not access to safety
Why this work is about structures, not individual people
And why naming whatâs happening is the first step to understanding it
This episode is a reminder to trust your rage, "to feel the fire already inside you"
There is space for all of us â but not without truth.IG: @farida.d.author
đ§ Audio-only episode
Support the show
If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. -
The one where we stop pretending everythingâs fine just to keep the peace.
In this episode, I sit down with Kam Bassier (from Episode 136: âYouâre Not Lazy, Youâre Burnt Outâ) to talk about a tension so many BIPOC adults are carrying right now:
Why are we â the kids of immigrant parents, BIPOC millennials and Gen Z â having conversations our families never could?
Why does naming pain feel like betrayal?
And what does breaking cycles actually look like in real life?
We talk about harmony culture in collectivist and immigrant families â where keeping the peace wasnât about comfort, it was about survival and appearances. But when harmony is prioritized over accountability, the emotional weight doesnât disappear. It gets stored in our bodies and shows up later as burnout, people-pleasing, numbing, substance use, overworking, resentment, and silence in our marriages and parenting.
This conversation isnât about tearing our parents down.
Itâs about understanding what they couldnât take responsibility for â so we donât keep carrying it, and so we donât pass it on to our kids.
What we get into:
Gratitude and grief can coexist â you can honor the sacrifices and name the emotional gaps
Why âthey did their bestâ often shuts down real healing
How choosing peace over accountability trains us to minimize ourselves
Why inner-child work isnât cute â itâs necessary
Rest, boundaries, and feeling all emotions (not just âhappyâ) as acts of resistance
A raw moment about quitting weed â not because itâs bad, but because numbing became easier than feeling
Not everyone in your family will be ready for this work â and thatâs okay. You donât need permission to heal. The work may feel lonely, but itâs how cycles end and new ones begin.
One thing to take away:
You can love your family deeply and still choose healing over fake harmony.
The next generation is watching what we do with what we were handed.Instagram: kambassier
Support the show
If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. -
Taken from South Korea as a baby, removed from his culture, and told itâs for a âbetter lifeâ that he "wasn't wanted". This is the reality behind many international adoptions.
In this episode, I speak with Moses, a therapist, advocate, and human being whose lived experience gives him a unique perspective on how 'adoption' functions as an industry of child trafficking. Through his work, he challenges the narratives that frame removal as rescue, and exposes how children are commodified, displaced, and erased for profit.
We explore commodification: turning human beings, culture, and lived experience into something that can be bought, sold, or managed, stripping away history and rights.
We also confront a common question: Isnât it better to give an unwanted child a âgood North American lifeâ? Moses explains why this belief is a false narrative that assumes Western life is superior, erases the abuse many children experience, and leaves some struggling with trauma so severe that many have taken their own lives.
This episode challenges the fantasy, the brainwashing, and the language that normalizes global-scale harm, asking listeners to see 'adoption' for what it often is: a system that commodifies children and erases their histories.
Instagram: mosesafarrow
societyforadoptiontruth.org
thetruthguide.com
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If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. -
I came across Shawn Ahmedâs work the way so many of us do now â through a moment of laughter that quietly turned into curiosity. What followed was a conversation that went far deeper than comedy.
Shawn is a South Asian Canadian actor with an impressive body of work across television, film, and comedy â and in this episode, we talk about what lives beneath the credits. Growing up in that in-between space â being Canadian while being raised by immigrant parents â and how that lived experience shapes creativity, confidence, and the risks we take.
We explore what it means to choose a path that isnât considered âsafe,â how family support shows up in subtle ways, and what early auditions teach you about how the world sees you before you even speak. We also get into the tension many South Asian artists face: wanting the freedom to play roles not defined by race, while knowing that representation still matters â especially for the kids watching from the sidelines, wondering whatâs possible for them.
This conversation isnât about arriving at neat answers. Itâs about staying in relationship with yourself, trusting your voice, and giving yourself permission to want more â even when it doesnât match the script you were handed.
If youâve ever felt caught between worlds, expectations, or versions of yourself â this one will land.Instagram: iamshawnahmed
Support the show
If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. -
Weâve all been in rooms where the energy doesnât match the claim of being a safe space - overthinking, comparing, and surface-level talk are what tends to go down instead. I sat down with Arunie, Psychologist with PCHS Calgary and co-host of Brown Girl Problems, for a conversation that goes beyond surface-level chats. Arunie highlights the truth behind the pressure to turn trauma into currency, and what it takes to build connection and support beyond the surface. We explore what brown women are tired of carrying, what weâre quietly unlearning together, and how to show up for each other - listening deeply, celebrating honestly, and supporting without competing, comparing, or explaining ourselves. Arunie 's MFU is a CTA in how we are showing up as a community.
Instagram: browngirlproblems.podcast
Support the show
If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. -
Reshma Kearney returns to Middle Fingers Up following Episode 128, where she first shared her experience of losing her husband to suicide and raising three children through grief. In this conversation, we go deeper â into what grief looks like over time, how it lives in the body, and how it quietly shapes our mental health, parenting, and sense of self.
We talk about grief as an ongoing relationship rather than something to âget over,â how Reshmaâs trauma-informed yoga and mindfulness work has evolved, and what sheâs learning as a mother raising one son and two daughters through loss. We explore gendered grief, breaking South Asian cultural silence, emotional safety for boys, and what it means to raise the next generation with more permission to feel.
This episode is about breath, stillness, boundaries, and the courage to protect your peace â especially during transitions and the holidays. Itâs about what grief takes, what it gives, and what we carry forward.
Because grief isnât linear â and healing doesnât mean forgetting.Find Reshma on Instagram reshmakearney for more on her work and family updates.
Short, practical reminder: grief is about what we carry forward as much as what weâve lost.
Support the show
If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. -
In this episode of Middle Fingers Up, we sit down with Rahell, a 23-year-old mixed-race individual navigating identity, privilege, and growth.
Rahell shares his experience as a âpassing white kidâ unpacking whiteness â what it meant to belong in some spaces, and what it cost in others. He talks about how hip-hop shaped his understanding of culture, power, and resistance, and the ongoing work of unlearning misogyny with honesty and accountability.
From childhood experiences in hockey and school that exposed racial divides, to reflections on survival, community-building, and responsibility in anti-racism work, this conversation explores the in-between spaces many mixed-race people live in.
As Rahell says, âWe are not math problems.â Identity isnât something to calculate or explain away â itâs something lived. He challenges listeners to move beyond surface-level allyship and ask, âWhat do I actually want from societal change?â
And for anyone listening who considers themselves aware, supportive, or âone of the good ones,â this episode quietly asks:
If the people most impacted by your actions feel dismissed, exhausted, or blamed â is it possible your intention to help is getting in the way of your ability to listen?
Whether youâre mixed-race, raising mixed kids, or reflecting on your own identity and blind spots, this episode offers an honest dialogue on healing and what it means to show up with integrity.New episodes drop regularlyâsubscribe now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite platform!
Instagram: rahell_theg.o.a.t23
Support the show
If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to [email protected]. Thank you for listening!
In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuutâina, the ĂyĂąxe Nakoda Nations, the MĂ©tis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta. - Se mer
