Episodit
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John Welwood developed a concept called Spiritual Bypass, it is defined as a âtendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.â Some features can be: exaggerated numbing from things, repression, overemphasis on the positive, anger phobia, overly tolerant compassion, poor boundaries, debilitating judgment of oneâs own negative sides, and delusions of having arrived at a higher level of being.
In previous sessions, there has been an exploration between a Fixed and an Open Mindset, and how having an open mindset can help you try different tools and perspectives to approach daily situations in a variety of ways.
People often tend to escape from feeling how they feel, minimizing and over-rationalizing situations. If you donât process the anger or frustration about your current situation, it would be very hard to attract a different outcome.
Whatever your process is, it is your process; you have to walk through it and see what it is that you need afterwards.
You thought until now that there was a reason to be afraid of negativity, but you can switch your mindset and every time you hear yourself saying âshould,â take it as a sign to take a deeper look into yourself.
You donât have to pour your frustration on others, you get your chance to yell, scream, kick and experience your frustration but not pass that to others. Get the feelings that are bothering you out and feel the relief afterwards. Give yourself permission not to be perfect, not to be happy all the time; feel your feelings; walk the process.
Release your spiritual bypass!
In This Episode You Will Learn: Consider/Ask Yourself:
- Have you ever experience spiritual bypass?
Key Insights and Ahas:
- In order to experience great love you also have to be able to feel great sadness and rage.
- A good sign is when you hear in your head the word âshould,â âshouldâ only exists in logic but emotionally it is not that way.
- Feelings want to be felt, not denied.
Action Steps:
1. What are you frustrated about? Share all the experience (write it, speak it).
2. Find a couple of things that you can acknowledge â what have you done right?
3. Share with someone that will cheer for you until you can cheer for yourself.
4. Set an intention.
5. Fill the empty will love, fill the pain with love.
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Monika and Jan Zands welcome you to Mindset Academy, a place to have a conversation, enhance your mindset, step into the essence of who you are in the world, and to prevent that the circumstances around you stop you in any way.
The Four Agreements is a very powerful book, it helps us make agreements with the world around us. The agreements explored in earlier sessions were: First: Be impeccable with your word. Second: Don't take things personally. Third: Don't make assumptions about anything.
Today´s session is about the fourth and last agreement: Always do your best. Sometimes the best version of ourselves is not what we expect to be. We have ideals about what âour bestâ should look like, but that changes every day, and our best today can simply be learning a lesson or recognizing a mistake.
The previous three agreements will help us realize what our best is. Sometimes we tend to think that things are ânot good enough yetâ and this way we create an environment of never enough, separating ourselves from others and from the experience we want to feel.
Bring to awareness what you have already achieved, attracting more of the positive you already have.
Doing our best is taking what is our best out of unconscious and putting it into conscious, owning it and using it to pay it forward.
Always doing your best is appreciating where you are in this moment. You are OK! Awareness is your access to you right now. You will always grow, you can't help it, it´s in human nature, but you are OK just as you are.
In This Episode You Will Learn: Consider/Ask Yourself:
- What dictates if you are doing your best or not? What are you comparing yourself to?
- What does it take to always do your best?
- Where in your life are you currently doing your best?
Key Insights and Ahas:
Expectation vs recognizing what is really your best. Always do your best is being nice and loving to yourself. Freedom comes when you are surrendering and accepting what is going on now. YOU ARE OK.Action Steps:
Begin to define what you have achieved until now. What is great now? Focus on what exists now, attracting achievement and arrivement. Receive and give away to others. Accept who you are now. Give access to a better version of yourself. Pay it forward. -
Puuttuva jakso?
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Jan and Monika Zands open todayâs session of Mindset Academy following the theme of this month, which is exploring the agreements set by Don Miguel Ruiz in his book The Four Agreements. Today, the third agreement will be discussed which is âDonât make assumptions.â
But letâs start from the beginning: âWhat even is an assumption?â It is information we use to fill a gap. We are trained to do this and we often believe that the assumptions we made on the missing information are the reality.
When we receive feedback from others, we can also assume it is our reality, but what others see really belongs to their own belief system and experiences. We have to question our perspectives and realities in order to recognize the assumptions that we are making.
There is a set of action steps:
1. Become aware,
2. learn how to make fewer assumptions, and
3. realize where are those assumptions are coming from.
Assumptions can get us into trouble, but we can make agreements with others, explaining what we mean, clarifying our intentions, and listening to other´s intentions as well.
We often make assumptions:
- That people understand what we want and how we feel, - About what we believe is possible, - About what we can and canât do. On one side there is what really happened, and then an interpretation of what happened. The way to resolve is to ask questions and to clarify. Forgive yourself for judging yourself, and move forward trying to become aware of the assumptions you have made about yourself and others. There will be times where we never know the truth, and we can fill those gaps with the information we choose, make an assumption where you are winning; you get to create your reality from a positive and loving perspective. See your greatness, be your greatness, and pay it forward!In This Episode You Will Learn: Consider/Ask Yourself:
- Become aware of assumptions and the cost they have in your life. - Realize when you and others make assumptions. - Where are the assumptions coming from? - How have assumptions been running your life?Resources:
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book),
by Don Miguel Ruiz -
Monika and Jan Zands welcome you to Mindset Academy, a space thought to help you have the best possible mind, soul, spirit, and body relationship in order to live the life of your dreams.
This month, the book The Four Agreements is being discussed. Today, the second agreement is where the focus is: âDo Not Take Things Personally.â
We usually take things personally because somewhat we think we are special and whatâs happening around us is directly related to us. We carry this âbackpackâ of beliefs and thoughts that we assumed belong to us.
Jan divides this concept in two: Taking personally what people do or taking personally what people say. We usually make assumptions, giving reasons why people are saying or doing what they do and how that has to do with us personally. How can we change this?
We can create alternate perspectives, we can dive into why we felt touched and affected by this situation by discovering our own view about ourselves.
You know that you are taking things personally when there is a discomfort involved. Reflect into what hurts to find out what are your beliefs about yourself that are rising.
Ask yourself: What if I am not the way I show myself to be?
If you can really see what you are hiding from yourself, then you can really be free and stop taking things personally.
See your greatness, be your greatness, and pay it forward!
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Practice: Think about one time you have taken things personally and that created upset â where the hurt comes from; how that talks about you and what you think about yourself.Resources:
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book),
by Don Miguel Ruiz -
Mindset Academy is led by Monika and Jan Zands. This month we will dive into how do you limit your life in a way that does not allow you to become fully who you really are?
There are several books that are basic for personal development, one of them is The Four Agreements, written by Don Miguel Ruiz.
Jan set examples when we label ourselves as âliars.â Yes, that is a big word, but many times we promise to ourselves we are going to do something and we fail to do it. We are also âthievesâ stealing time from others when not showing up on time, we are âmurderersâ when killing other peopleâs dreams. Strong, isnât it?
The Four Agreements book brings us the First Agreement which is: âBe Impeccable with your word.â When you fail to be impeccable with your word, the biggest injury is not upon others but upon yourself. When you make a promise you first make it with yourself and by breaking it, you are affecting you first and then others.
Impeccable means without sin. What makes us unique as human beings is language. When you use your language to hurt, then you are sinning. We need to take responsibility of our words and manage how what we say has to do with ourselves more than with others. The emotional baggage that we carry around makes us sick, physically sick, but is not our body but our emotions that we are carrying unsolved.
Awareness and Repetition of our behaviors and words is needed. Sometimes âUpsetâ is the way of realizing that we have not being impeccable with our words.
Follow this process of healing when you have the access that upset is showing:
Think in a time when you were not impeccable with your word. You labeled yourself after that situation, you carry the memory of that moment, blaming and judging yourself. Free yourself by practicing forgiveness. Forgive yourself for judging yourself. What is the truth?Summarizing the work of todayâs session: Elevate your impeccability by: Awareness. Matter shifts when itâs observed. If you find upset, that is an opportunity to heal. Ask yourself, what is the emotion? Then track that emotion in time. (Find the pattern and heal them all by starting with one.) What happened? What was the judgment? Now, practice compassion and self forgiveness. Fill the space with LOVE, YOU ARE WORTHY!
In This Episode You Will Learn: Consider/Ask Yourself:
How often are you practicing compassion and self-forgiveness? Practice: âI forgive myself for judging myself asâŚâKey Insights and Ahas:
Emotional Upsets are the access to a place inside that hurts. Awareness and repetition leads to shift and healing. -
Monika and Jan welcome you to Mindset Academy! Today the session is all about âworking,â starting with a guided visualization and then a discussion. Guided visualization is to go inside yourself, where all the answers are, find your inner voice, and trust the process.
Follow Monikaâs directions to this guided visualization. You will find your inner voices: the ones that judge you and are critical; the ones that are loving and supporting. You will discover what makes you unique.
Ask yourself: What do you want to accomplish? What is your goal? What would be the outcome of achieving this goal? What are three action steps that you could take towards achieving that goal?
The critical voices in your head are the ones that STOP you, in many aspects of your life. The loving voices are the ones that INSPIRE and MOTIVATE you, this represents the connection to your authentic self.
You are great and unique; discover your strength and potential to really unfold your âsuper-power,â and share it with the world.
Resources:
Get the guided visualization at Monika Zands Facebook live.
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Monika and Jan Zands lead Mindset Academy, a weekly meeting where you can raise your awareness, experience more joy, and spread more love on the planet.
This episode was recorded on Motherâs Day; Monika talks about how every holiday is
an opportunity to celebrate a spiritual cycle, the energy level in these special days allows to give back the love and share this energy with the ones you can reach.To express to people around us who they are, under our perspective, is a great gift that can change a life. It costs nothing and gives the greatest feeling of appreciation and acknowledgement. We often donât know how other people see us, and hearing this is a transforming experience. Practice: Tell someone today how you see them; take this as a task to spread love.
There is also a powerful way to do this to yourself; using affirmations and self-acknowledgement is a way to achieve this, celebrating where you are right now!
Affirmations can be called different ways; the goal is to reach what you say to yourself on a daily basis, that calls you forward into being.
We are all connected, we relate to others with what we bring with us⌠can we leave our âbackpacks of bricks,â to connect with others and with our reality now? There is a lot of self-judgment and admission of guilt, this is something we pass along to others around us.
To be here now is a series of un-doings, letting go of things, opening to receive things, and being willing to be aware.
There is a difference between what you are and what you see you are; what you are is changing all the time, you experiencing the lesson, is what you are now.
What we are is how we defined ourselves; we are not our past, our frustrations, or anything we are carrying around in our backpack.
Design your own affirmation, the one that represents you and helps you transit difficult moments to go back to your true essence. Start by asking yourself, âHow do I serve people the best?â From that place, design your affirmation, first, by serving you, and then bringing that out into others. Practice: Make a list of 25 âI am...â statements, after this statement is where you start to create. Choose three of each every day, and start to see which you resonate more with. Once you realize which represent you the most, write your affirmation, taking those under consideration.
Love yourself, love the opportunity to learn, and know that you are doing the best that you can.
In This Episode You Will Learn: Consider/Ask Yourself:
- How many times have you taken othersâ âLuggage of problems,â and made them your own?
- Have you ever wondered how to let go of your own âbackpack of bricksâ?
- What is your âbackpackâ made of?
- How do you develop willingness?
Key Insights and Ahas:
- Distinguishing between what I am and what I see I am.
Action Steps:
Who am I? Who am I witnessing myself to be? The âIâ that I define myself as, what lesson is it learning? What am I doing with the lesson? Create your own affirmation, âI amâŚâ and create your reality, based in how you perceive yourself. This is the powerful way to be here now.Resources:
Check iTunes for Mindset Academy or Monika Zands to hear podcasts or try meditations.
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Monika and Jan Zands lead you to a journey of self-help and awareness to set your mindset the right way, to get ready for what life will present to you.
This month it is all about being here now, connected with the present situation. Moment by moment we have an opportunity to create a new reality. Ask yourself: Who am I right now and what does that âmeâ need? Create the experience of the presence for you now, by not being in the present moment but looking into the moments of presence.
Anytime you declare that something is a certain way, you are creating in a fixed mindset. Leveling people, or even yourself, comes from a fixed mindset. Having a growth mindset creates a space to consider each moment an opportunity to make different choices.
As a species, we have a mentality where we are constantly wanting to progress. We have this need of growing, but the upset comes when we look at the present, wishing that it was different. Where do we get the idea that the presentâs supposed to be different than the way that it is? Culture, family, past experiences or even future projections, lead us to compare our ânow,â to another situation that is perceived as a better or more desirable one. If you are present, then you are not imagining it could be better.
We get to chose how we frame things. Usually the opportunity to reframe happens when we feel an upset. We can chose the words and how we want to define what we are experiencing. We can get to level ourselves everyday differently; this way we can create a different reality! Everything is changing all the time, and that includes you!
In This Episode You Will Learn: Consider/Ask Yourself:
Do I operate in my mind from a fixed mindset, or from a growth or flexible mindset? Can I be permanently gentle with myself? Where do I get the idea that the presentâs supposed to be different than the way that it is? As a child, you were shown the world through someone elseâs perspective, then you had to figure out what is your value, and what is important to you.Key Insights and Ahas:
You walk into Mindset Academy with one perspective, and you walk out with a new perspective that can create an entirely new reality. Step into the present moment, looking at what itâs giving to you. Practice reframing â ask yourself: Is there a gift in what has been presented to me? Create a reality around the new perspective. If it doesnât serve you, you can change. You canât just help but change!Action Steps:
Who has defined your reality? What do they sound like? How can you reframe yourself in order to create a completely new reality? Chose the work you want to do, and who will go with you along the journey. -
Lesson of the episode: Choose your present!
Jan and Monika Zands introduce this monthâs topic, which is: You are here now! That brings the question of Who are you? Which âYouâ is the one here today?
We usually get comfortable being whoever we have been being, and as everybody knows us, but we can get to create whoever we want to be every single time. What if everytime you start and do something you have the choice to decide who you want to be?
The main source of human suffering is wishing things were different than what they actually are. Right now there is nothing you can do to change it, you can either chose it or suffer. But how can you chose it? Often the reality we get is not what we are expecting, the upset comes when we suppose our reality should be different.
Practice with Jan and Monika:
Write down 10 things that you wish were different in your life. Pick the one that impacts you the most. Close your eyes and look at your life. Imagine the movie theater of your life. You are in the movie, your feelings, your circumstances. Now roll the movie back, and go to a time before you felt that way. How was your life then? Now imagine yourself before this upset existed, how do you feel? Now give yourself a little care to prepare yourself for what was going to happen, and play it forward and get back, but tapping into the love you have given to yourself. Create a new ending, chose a different end for the future, free yourself and perceive how do you feel when things turn out the exact way you wanted.Ask yourself: How did this transform you?
Be present, be first, and then invite the world to who you are. The expectations have been made up by us, but things are already the way they should be. Own your present! Choose it! This way we remove suffering and add love!
Key Insights and Ahas:
Ask the Universe what you are looking for, so it can be provided to you. The biggest source of human suffering is wishing that something was different than the way that it is. Most of the time upsets are the results of misunderstandings.Resources:
MonikaZands.com
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Monika and Jan Zands present todayâs session at Mindset Academy. How you perceive your reality is creating it for you, your Mindset is everything!
We usually make assumptions after othersâ behaviors, that cause feelings and thoughts, and afterwards we make choices in response to those assumptions. Become aware of the distance between what really happened to the assumptions we made. Our way is not the only way! Probably peopleâs behavior do not match with our assumptions. Why don't you start with love?
People usually show up the way we need them to appear, in order to learn something from them. People change because you change; it depends on how you present yourself that others will come at you.
People change! We are continuously changing from a physical aspect to our perspective, the circumstances that we are in modify how we act.
Monikaâs signature phrase is: âSee your greatness, be your greatness, and pay it forward.â
Pay something forward from your life experiences and help others from what you learn. It might happen that what worked for your life can also work for the ones around you. Paying it forward its exponential â when you give to someone, that act reflects in every other person that connects to the person you helped. Sometimes you stop yourself in the middle, judging that you might not be good enough to give, or thinking you are giving too much.
Giving and receiving go hand in hand, they are the same thing, you are giving what you have received, so there is no way you are just a âgiver,â because you have to get first, in order to give.
You can only pay it forward unconditionally, when you see and be your greatness.
When you are trying to avoid being something that you are, you are not being great; be your authentic loving self! Be your truth!
In This Episode You Will Learn: Ask Yourself:
Are you making assumptions? What defines your truth? Which path are you navigating? It is yours, or did you adopt somebody elseâs path in order to make this other significant person happy? Maybe you feel you are giving too much and not receiving, but, ask yourself: Are you numb to receiving? Are you rejecting what is being giving to you? -
Monika and Jan Zands invite you to explore different perspectives over the experiences you are living, through Mindset Academy.
Sometimes you think you are not great yet. Feeling that you are almost there, but it feels like not enough. You are great! You don't need a reason to be great, the miracle of life is already stating that your essence is greatness.
Undo whatever you believed you need to achieve in order to be great, since the fact that you exist on this planet is the proof of your greatness.
Feeling great does not mean you are perfect, or that you donât need to learn anything, but that you are already ready.
In our world, we tend to think that we are either great or not great; realize that whether you have a good or a bad day you are still great, since your ânot so goodâ days are necessary for you to become aware of what makes your âgreat daysâ what they are. Then âNo Greatâ becomes a solution finder instead of a reason for procrastination.
We exist in different realms: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual, sometimes you can feel great in one realm and not the others but, you are great all the time.
Letâs practice: When you are feeling you are not great you can explore why you are feeling that way, are you comparing/judging yourself? First have the awareness of these thoughts and then get back to the affirmation that you are already great!
See your greatness, be your greatness and pay it forward.
In This Episode: Ask Yourself:
What would happen in a world that everyone knows they are great and they help others feel that greatness in them too? Which is the best day of your week? The day when you feel you shine?Key Insights and Ahas:
Practice as a silent mantra âI am great⌠I am great⌠I am great⌠â
Action steps:
When you are not feeling great, stop and explore why. Become aware of the thought/criticism/comparison that is creating this feeling. What is the conversation in your brain that is creating it? Realize this is an irrational belief that has proven itself not to be true in the past. Go back to realizing that you are great! -
Monika and Jan Zands talk about what is stopping us from meeting our greatness. There are many thoughts that are âslavingâ us, they prevent us from being our greater selves.
We are slaves of our own ideas, when something goes wrong, or just different from what we were expecting, we tend to sabotage our plans and wishes. We canât carry on if we do not question our âslavement,â questioning the conceptions and beliefs that are behind this slavement.
It is our internal dialogue that is stopping us from finding the solutions.
The very first step is awareness. Only by becoming aware something shifts.
First become aware of the thought that is stopping you, and which feeling comes with that thought, going from mental plane to an emotional one. When were times in the past that you had those feelings? Can you find the pattern? These feelings will repeat over and over again until they are released.
Practice with Monika, Jan, and the audience; go through the journey to discover what is preventing you from reaching your greater self.
When you are not judging yourself you dare doing things you would not attempt in the past, regardless the result, your value and greatness are still intact.
Give yourself permission to surrender, just letting feel and be yourself.In This Episode You Will Learn: Ask Yourself:
⌠What is stopping us along the way? How can we let those things go?
⌠How am I slaved? To what I am slaved? And What does slavement mean to me?
Key Insights and Ahas:
⌠Many people fear being successful. When you fail no one has an expectation on you but when you are successful the world now counts on you! This is the reason why fear of success is so relevant. Fear of letting people down.
Action Steps:
1. You are great!
2. First step is awareness: What is the thought in my head that is preventing myself for being my greatest version?
3. What is the feeling? When did I have that feeling in the past?
4. How does this feeling show up in my life repeatedly?
5. What is the truth?
6. How can I anchor that truth? Bring the truth back every time those feelings come back.
7. Make it happen!Resources:
Itunes - Mindset Academy
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Monika and Jan Zands bring the topic of this month which is âYou Are Great!â Connect with your own unique greatness!
Sometimes you can think and perceive yourself as not that likable, motivated, or you are just not loving yourself that much. How can you connect back to your greatness? Explore in this session the meaning of greatness itself.
The system we live in, tends to pay attention to weakness instead of greatness, and here in Mindset Academy the highlight is on GREATNESS.
Practice with Monika and Jan:
Letâs follow a process to learn how to connect with your greatness:
1. What do people say is great about you?
2. Come up with a recent example.
3. Find that example throughout your life. Find AWARENESS of what it is you are GREAT at.
If you create the intention of connecting with your greatness and connecting with people, the rest of your day will be purpose-filled!
Comparing yourself with someone else wonât help you find your greatness, it will make you busy finding what you donât have, instead of seeing what you really are!
Connect with your greatness everyday!
In This Episode You Will Learn: Consider/Ask Yourself:
How can you connect with your greatness?
Become aware of your greatness throughout your life.
How are you bringing your greatness to the world, to others?
Key Insights and Ahas:
We live in a system that pays more attention to peopleâs weakness than to their strengths, trying to fix failures, and to make everyone reach the minimum acceptable common denominator â A system that doesnât pay attention to your greatness.
Resources:
- Itunes store: research for Monika Zands, check Podcasts, Meditations and Mindset Academy. Leave your positive review!
- Youtube Monika Zands with Brendon Burchard.
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This episode Jan Zands guides us into the Topic of the month, which is âYou are not alone,â analyzing our perspectives and realizing that our way is not the only way.
Janâs purpose is to help us bust the myth of thinking that at the end of the day everything is on our shoulders, and we are all by ourselves. In reality, every breath we take is proof that we cannot do it all by ourselves â air is there, helping us survive each breath at a time.
There is a strange relationship that we have with âAsking for helpâ â prejudgements about considering it as a negative thing, âI should know,â or âI am weakâ â all this criticism comes to our minds. What is stopping you from asking for help is the same thought that is stopping you in other areas in your life. Where is that thought coming from?
Practice with Jan:
1. Think of an area in your life that is not giving you the result you expect.
2. Who would you ask for help? Is there any pattern in your behavior?
3. Ask for information, even when you fear the content is not what expect.
4. When we embrace our conditions as humans, a vulnerable being that needs help, we can feel free to just be ourselves, it is liberating!
The Universe wants to help you. You need to frame specifically what you want, because that is what you will get. What you seek is what you see. If you donât ask for it, you wonât get it! Life loves you!
Ask Yourself:
Do you often feel that you are all alone? How do you feel about asking for help? Where do you look for new perspectives when you want to shift your lifeKey Insights and Ahas:
The spots that hurt are opportunities to learn, grow and heal.
We go to life thinking that we are communicating, when in reality we tend to take the hardest struggles to ourselves.
Action Steps:
1. You are free to ask for help.
2. What is stopping you from asking for help?
3. Where is that preventing thought coming from?
4. Allow yourself to feel vulnerable as a result feeling free and authentic. You are not alone.
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Jan and Monika Zands talk this month in Mindset Academy about the topic âYou are not alone.â Often in life we feel that we have all the weight on our shoulders and everything depends on us; but it is not true â you are not alone!
Walk outside your door; you are surrounded by people, and our context is there with us all the time. We often get into ourselves, we donât communicate, we donât connect because there is so much in our minds, that we cannot see the others existing.
We need to redefine the word âaloneâ like equal to abandoned, away, separated⌠that is not the truth! Are you doing anything not to do everything by yourself? ARE YOU ASKING FOR HELP? We usually have prejudgements about asking for help, we think we should know, as if being adult means not to need anybody to assist us.
Jan and Monika are sharing their current purpose: How do Mindset Academy get their content in the world? How do they spread their word in the planet? Look into your own purpose and follow these steps:
1. Write down what is your primary request: I need help!
2. The secondary request is: What do you really want? Show the universe you are ready to receive! Be as specific as you can asking for what you need. Action must be taken!
3. Then decide Who or What can help you. Make a list of people or organizations.
4. Usually we talk down to ourselves, thinking that we would be ashamed, or not good enough to reach out to these people. Whatever it is that is stopping you, is what is in the way of your getting what you need. âNo,â could be an answer, but what is next, what other doors can open?
In This Episode You Will Learn: Consider/Ask Yourself:
Are we being our greater selves?
How do we let go of what is holding us back?
Are you doing anything not to do everything by yourself?
âI need help!â opens the door to receive.
Key Insights and Ahas:
Are you ready to be vulnerable? Are you ready to receive the help you need? -
Monika and Jan Zands focus on creating new perspectives to create the results you are seeking. How can we be happier?
Have you been feeling that you have to do it all by yourself? You are not alone.
You are not alone in any of the four different realms: Physical, Emotional, Mental or Spiritual.
Jan exposes how there are two ways of starting to consider that you are not alone:1. Connecting the parts inside. Various aspects of your personality that show up in different moments and contexts.
2. How do you serve you? Connect to the part of you to get in touch with the inner you that chooses the life you are living.
3. Listen to one of the participants sharing an experience of trying to âsaveâ and âfixâ one of her nephews from making poor choices and instead understanding that he needs to live his own experiences, and what those experiences will mean in his own life; her intervention being only to give unconditional love: JUST LOVE.
4. Another participant shares the pain he feels from the rejection of his mother who does not accept the fact he is gay and is in an interracial relationship. Love, compassion and acceptance, will help him go through the difficult moment of welcoming his partner into his home town.
5. Sometimes we create the illusion that in the future, things will happen as we project they will, shaped by our previous experiences, when in reality these events have not taken place yet.
6. Pause and breath, connect to the part of you that is giving you company and support.
7. New perspectives create new results and new realities!Ask your self:
⌠Do you often feel you have to do it all by yourself?
⌠Can you identify the various aspects of your personality that take the center of the scene in different contexts?
⌠How do you serve you?
⌠Are you giving unconditional love? (Towards yourself and others)Key Insights and Ahas:
Your story is specific to you but at the same time is a Universal Story! You are not alone! -
Replace judgement and self-criticism with gratefulness and love.
Monika and Jan Zands talk about connecting with love and creating a loving context. In this context, which is your personal âloving bubble,â you can love yourself and each other. The more love we can share and produce, the more we can live with others by bonding through loving connections.
Loving the moment and loving the journey, loving every moment along the way. We often take for granted our blessings; if we could connect to what we have, we would enjoy more and be grateful.
Monika explains the concept of âspiritual bypass,â with the difference between denial of our negative thoughts to making a real shift in our perspective. Donât skip the voices in your head, because there is where healing is possible.
Try to exercise the connection with what is real now, the abilities, people, things, and moments you can enjoy at this very moment, without criticism and self-deprivation; this negativity is not a vehicle to make us closer to our goals, it just fills this moment with negativity about ourselves and our moment.
Exercise with Jan and Monika:
Direction: Imagine something that youâre not really looking forward to but know will take place in the following day/week.Strategies to connect to loving:
1. Take a good look at the structure of the situation;
2. Connect with the upset; when there is upset is an opportunity to heal;
3. Think about how do you reacted to this sort of situation before;
4. How are you really feeling about this?
5. Feel compassion for yourself, be the best version of yourself;
6. Search if you have a âFuture fantasyâ about how everything will turn out; you can be unexpectedly surprised, and the result could be totally different from your anticipated failure.
7. How is this an opportunity to learn how to better love yourself?
Consider/Ask Yourself:
How do we shift the way we experience our reality?
How do we go from self-criticism to gratefulness?
How quickly are you unreasonable with the expectations you set up to yourself?
Key Insights and Ahas:The external circumstances often donât change; how we relate to them can make all the difference.
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Lesson of the episode: Following a Love Manifesto to Amplify Love.
Monika and Jan Zands have the purpose of spreading love in this planet. During this month they have been talking about love. They invite you to think along with them on how are you spreading love in the world. Which are the ways you are actually spreading love?
What stops loving is the way we have to judge the way we are going to spread it. Love comes from who you think you are for others. This is your important way of being in the planet in relationship to others.
Love is from within. The judgement of whether one is good enough or not opens the door and we enter the world of assumptions and expectations.
Pure love is the condition of loving, and then there is a different love, the one that is looking for a sort of compensation for that loving, and this is when you can be disappointed or hurt, when the outcome was not was expected.
If the condition to love on the planet is self-love then we are in trouble â since we do not always feel that we love ourselves â but still the ultimate goal is to spread love regardless!
A Love Manifesto is written in this session, this is how it would look:
â The goal is Pure love, the unconditional love. â Prayers or connection is needed to connect with love and to amplify love. â Ignoring the non loving, disconnect from the negativity. â Discipline and practice of loving (thoughts, relationships, yoga, meditation⌠any act that brings you inside to inner reflection). â Our role is to amplify love by passing it along. â Now is the moment when we need to love! Everyday you wake up and you acknowledge you are love, you exist in love, then you can amplify it. You don't need a reason to love, you just have to believe it and share it. Fear can be caused by unworthiness, âI can't be loving or be loved if I am not worthy.â Being open and vulnerable is the way of loving. Dare to love and manifest your love! In This Episode You Will Learn: Consider/Ask Yourself: Which are the ways you are actually spreading love? What do you feel and think about this question? How do you help someone? how have you been helped?, and what helps you? Key Insights and Ahas: If the condition to love on the planet is self-love then we are in trouble! Pure love is unconditional love. Being open and vulnerable is the way of loving. -
Lesson of the episode: Asking for help.
Jan and Monika introduced the topic for today´s session by stating how we often are trying to create things in our lives, and frequently feel that we have to do that all by ourselves, but somewhat, not asking for help creates a stigma of loneliness. We feel we need to prove we can do it alone, but on the contrary, the more vulnerability you allow yourself to show, the more connected to others you will feel.
What does it mean to love yourself? Being vulnerable and let yourself be seeing!
Opportunities are always showing, but we do not take them, since we think we are still not worth being loved. There are opportunities waiting to serve us everywhere!
Last week, Monika and Jan talked about âasking for helpâ people can contribute, to achieve your goals. Why people do not ask for help? Help has a negative connotation, for example: uselessness, weakness, helpless, stupid, open to criticism, people will think you should know how, feeling inferior, etc., etc. That is why we live in a society where people wonât ask for help. When we were children it was ok to ask for help, but as adults we start to believe it is negative to get help, when in reality, we are constantly receiving help from every member of the community.
Whatever the thought you have when you are about to ask for help but stopped, this thought is probably stopping you in many areas â where is that thought coming from? When do you begin to shift the way you look at asking for help? What is your relationship with help?
What is the scenario that tells you that you are going to get the help you need? You are not alone, you can ask for what you want, seek help, and receive the help you need!
You can receive by giving away! By sharing you find mastery. Sometimes we are scared about sharing, maybe considering that what we have to offer wonât be appreciated or that we will be judged ⌠in this painful situation, both parties are alone. We need courage to go over this barrier!
We perceive everything through our perspectives, seeing shapes, auras, heat, smells ⌠but when we ask for help, it is a way to get connected with anotherâs perspective, that could help us reach our own goal.
Exercise with Monika and Jan, and explore your perspective about help. What are the âshoulds,â that come to your mind when you think about needing help? Explore your history with help, the ideals you try to achieve, the defenses and fears that are holding you back.
When you give to someone, they feel that they owe you, they are in debt, they feel that they need to reciprocate; when in reality, if the goal of the person that gives is giving, by receiving you are helping them to reach their purpose. Unluckily, our minds are not trained this way. When you are asking for help, you are giving that other one the chance to give/help, which is so wonderful!
Give, receive, help, get help; get out of your isolation and feel the love!
In This Episode You Will Learn to Consider/Ask Yourself:
What does it mean to love yourself?
Why people do not ask for help.
What is your relationship with help?
Key Insights and Ahas:
â There are negative beliefs about help. â Society told us that being an adult means not needing help. â Our perspectives expand when we show vulnerability and ask for help. â When you know what you need, and ask for it, the universe will provide it. Action Steps: 1. Why you don´t ask for help? 2. What are the thoughts that prevent you to reach out for help? 3. When did they start? 4. Acknowledge the opportunities of exploring different perspectives by receiving help. -
Lesson of the episode: Learn to love and be compassionate with yourself.
Monika and Jan Zands invite you to explore LOVE. Many times we focus on our surroundings, relationships, and things. If we cannot change the external things, we can change how we relate to these external factors, we can always change our mindset.
How to live in a context of love? We are made out of a number of things that create the container that we are, and this way we receive what comes from outside. The context of love is itself the definition of context.
What are we? How am I? What if I am not what I always thought I was? So who could I be? The best way to achieve your most joyful life has to do with a loving context.
Everyday the possibility of things going wrong is very likely but you have to learn how to navigate them. Not trying to change but being loving and compassionate relating to ourselves and to others, the human judgment tends to perceive things going wrong when they actually happen the way they âshould.â
Exercise with Monika and Jan:
FIRST: Close your eyes and think about something you are upset about that has happened to you this week.
SECOND: Listen to the opinions of the voice in your head about what happened.
THIRD:Think about the person that is maternal, kind and loving to you, now let that voice speak about the upset.
FOURTH: Now think about a pet, your loyal companion, unconditional love, and think what would that puppy intervene about what upset you?
This last voice is your authentic self. When we are babies we are just happy, everything is just love and acceptance. The voice in your head is only comparing you to something else, if you are not comparing you will be good enough.
Your senses lead you to perceive the world around you in a specific way, try to listen from your heart, not protecting yourself, but just feeling from your heart. There is a discovery by listening to your heart. The goal is not to learn, but just being present, receiving what is intended for you.
Your Homework, better said âHeartwork,â is to listen to your context of love. First receive the message then: Step 1: Assume everyone is doing the best that they can. Step 2: What are they trying to say? What is the message? How can I hear that from a place of love? What is underneath it. Step 3: If it is not clear then clarify, try to get the message clear.
Share love, spread love, be love!
In This Episode You Will Learn: The importance of love yourself, love others and love the path.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
How do we access loving? What are we?
What if I am not what I always thought I was, so what could I be?
Key Insights and Ahas:
Why not win in your own fantasy?
- Näytä enemmän
