Episodes
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On August 9, 1969, while the worldâs attention turned toward the Manson murders across town, another woman was killed on what society considered the wrong side of Los Angeles.
Her name was Cletha, and she was my grandmother.
She was a poor mother of six whose injuries left her face unrecognizable, yet her death was recorded as natural causes. The man responsible never faced a courtroom. There was no justice, no public outrage, and no lasting headline to make sure the world remembered her.
But her story did not end there.
In this deeply personal episode, I honor my grandmother and confront the generational trauma, domestic violence, silence, and survival that traveled through the women in my family. This is a conversation about what happens when pain is inherited, when women are denied justice, and when one generation finally decides the cycle will end with them.
Cletha, you are the reason I teach trauma-informed martial arts in domestic violence shelters. I cannot help but believe that if you had been given the skills I have today, you might still be here with us.
I pass those skills on to other women so they do not suffer the same fate and so they know how to defend themselves, their bodies, and their lives.
My grandmother may never have received justice, but she will not be forgotten.
Her legacy lives in every woman who learns to protect herself, reclaim her voice, and refuse to disappear quietly.
This one is for Cletha. Welcome to the Edge.
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Childhood Trauma, Self-Destruction, and Reclaiming the Person Beneath the Performance
Content note: This episode includes discussion of childhood sexual abuse, suicide attempts, addiction patterns, abusive relationships, and trauma recovery. Please listen with care.
What happens when the version of you that learned how to survive becomes the identity you no longer know how to remove?
From the outside, high-functioning survival can look like success. It can look like earning degrees, building businesses, raising children, creating projects, and continuing to show up for everyone around you.
Underneath the achievement, however, may be a nervous system still running on fear, people-pleasing, overworking, perfectionism, and the relentless need to prove your worth.
In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with trauma specialist, embodiment coach, author, podcaster, filmmaker, entrepreneur, and founder of Victim 2 Victor, Anu Verma.
Anu has survived childhood trauma, suicide attempts, addiction patterns, abusive relationships, financial manipulation, and years of self-destruction disguised as coping. While appearing successful and capable to the outside world, she was often disconnected from herself and driven by the identities she had created to feel safe.
Today, she helps others understand the unconscious beliefs and survival patterns shaping their lives, rebuild self-trust, regulate their nervous systems, and move toward emotional resilience and lasting transformation.
Together, Lisa and Anu explore:
How high-functioning survival hides beneath achievement
Why people-pleasing and overworking can become trauma responses
What harmful coping mechanisms are trying to protect us from
How childhood trauma can distort love, intimacy, and self-worth
The difference between being desired and being valued
How financial and emotional abuse erode identity and boundaries
What people misunderstand about suicide and hopelessness
Why healing requires compassion for the person you became to survive
What rebuilding yourself actually looks like in the messy middleThis is not a polished transformation story.
It is an honest conversation about the masks we wear, the pain we numb, the roles we perform, and the courage it takes to reclaim the person underneath them all.
Host: Lisa Lacy
https://www.lisalacy.com
Guest: Anu Verma, Victim 2 Victor
https://linktr.ee/healing.journeyyWhat did you perform in order to survive?
Welcome to the edge.
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Missing episodes?
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The dogs woke me up. Menopause made sure I stayed awake. And suddenly my nervous system was hosting a 3:00 a.m. board meeting about every decision I have made since 1997.
In this episode of Midnight Menopausal Meanderings, we are talking about the biology behind menopause-related insomnia, including hormonal changes, temperature dysregulation, nervous-system activation, and why one small interruption can leave you staring at the ceiling for hours.
But this conversation goes deeper than sleep.
What happens when exhaustion, hormonal changes, and limited emotional bandwidth make it harder to keep performing, accommodating, and pretending everything is fine?
Maybe menopause does not create a new woman.
Maybe it reveals the woman who no longer has the neurological energy to tolerate bullshit.
We explore:
⢠Why sleep becomes more difficult during menopause
⢠How estrogen and progesterone changes affect the brain
⢠Why hot flashes and nighttime awakenings can trigger hypervigilance
⢠How sleep deprivation affects emotional regulation
⢠Why your tolerance for emotional labor may suddenly disappear
⢠How to listen to the truths that surface at midnight without immediately blowing up your entire life before breakfastYou are not failing at sleep.
Your biology has changed, your nervous system is adapting, and your body may finally be refusing to finance the performance.
Learn more about Lisa Lacy:
https://www.lisalacy.comNotes From the Edge is where we have the conversations we should have been having all along.
Welcome to the edge.
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What happens when the person you learned to abandon in order to survive is yourself?
Many of us learned early how to stay quiet, become useful, keep the peace, earn approval, and make ourselves smaller so other people would remain comfortable. Those adaptations may have helped us survive childhood, but they can follow us into our relationships, our faith, our work, and the way we understand our own worth.
In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with international award-winning author, speaker, trauma-informed, faith-aware self-love coach, and relationship repair specialist Danielle Bernock.
Danielle is a childhood trauma survivor who did not fully come into her own until her fifties. After publishing her memoir, Emerging With Wings, she transformed the story she was once afraid to tell into a body of work helping others move from survival into a life rooted in freedom, value, connection, and love.
Together, Lisa and Danielle explore childhood emotional neglect, trauma that remains invisible, church hurt, spiritual bypassing, self-abandonment, relationship repair, and what it truly means to love yourself after years of performing for acceptance.
They also discuss:
How childhood trauma shapes adult identity and relationships
Why emotional neglect can be so difficult to recognize
What happens when pain is minimized or invalidated
How to separate faith from the harm caused by religious institutions
Why self-love can feel unsafe for trauma survivors
How to tell your story without allowing trauma to become your entire identity
Why it is never too late to finally take up space in your own lifePerhaps healing does not begin when we finally become worthy of love.
Perhaps it begins when we realize we were worthy all along.
Host: Lisa Lacy
https://www.lisalacy.comGuest: Danielle Bernock
https://www.daniellebernock.comhttps://dani-daniellebernock-com.kit.com/de9e550f64
https://dani-daniellebernock-com.kit.com/074c8b6335
What did you perform in order to survive?
Welcome to the edge.
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What happens when a lifetime of caring for people, witnessing loss, raising a family, and navigating lifeâs hardest moments becomes the foundation for storytelling?
Join me for a new live episode of Notes From the Edge with author, legal nurse consultant, hospice specialist, teacher, and multi-genre storyteller Nancy Jasin Ensley.
Nancy has spent decades working in professions that require empathy, discernment, and the ability to remain present during some of lifeâs most critical moments. Those experiences now inform the stories she writes across memoir, literary fiction, science fiction, mystery, thrillers, action and adventure, and childrenâs literature.
Together, weâll explore:
⢠How nursing and hospice shape the way we understand life, loss, and what truly matters
⢠Why writing can help us process the experiences that leave a mark
⢠How family, faith, service, and lived experience become powerful stories
⢠The identity of being the helper, the strong one, or the person everyone depends on
⢠How writers turn real-life experiences into fiction, memoir, and meaningful conversations
⢠What it means to preserve memory and make sense of life through storytellingThis is a conversation about caregiving, creativity, resilience, reflection, and the stories that are quietly being written through each of us.
Host: Lisa Lacy
Writer, trauma educator, speaker, and host of Notes From the Edge
https://www.lisalacy.comGuest: Nancy Jasin Ensley
Author, legal nurse, hospice specialist, teacher, and storyteller
https://nancyjasinensley.com/What did you perform in order to survive, and is it still serving you?
Welcome to the edge.
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What happens to the surgeon after a patient experiences a devastating complication?
Clinicians are trained to make life-or-death decisions, perform under extraordinary pressure, and remain calm when everything is at stake. But they are rarely taught how to process the emotional aftermath when an outcome goes wrong.
In this live episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with trauma and acute care surgeon, educator, author, and healthcare leader Dr. Daniel Eiferman for an honest conversation about the side of medicine most people never see.
Dr. Eiferman is a tenured professor of surgery at The Ohio State University and a Castle Connolly Top Doctor. His book, Cut Open: A Surgeonâs Stories of Loss, Resilience, and Growth, explores the complications, difficult decisions, grief, leadership challenges, and moments of self-doubt that exist behind the operating-room doors.
Together, we will explore:
⢠Why clinicians often experience complications as personal failure
⢠The psychological toll of a bad surgical outcome
⢠How the culture of perfection creates shame and isolation
⢠What it takes to rebuild confidence after failure
⢠How clinicians can recover without becoming hardened or disengaged
⢠What healthcare leadership owes the people working under relentless pressureThis conversation is not only for surgeons. It is for anyone who has worked in a high-stakes environment, experienced an outcome they could not entirely control, and quietly wondered whether they still belonged in the work.
Dr. Eiferman will also share practical tools for clinicians who are expected to remain steady, even when they do not feel steady inside.
Access his complimentary guide at:
https://integritysurgery.org/signup/
What did you perform in order to survive?
Welcome to the edge.
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How far will we push ourselves before we finally ask what we are running from?
Marc Hopkins has completed the Bigfoot 200, eight Ironman-distance triathlons, and more than 200 endurance events. But the most difficult terrain he has ever crossed was the landscape inside himself.
In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Marc joins Lisa Lacy for a raw conversation about the difference between true endurance and simply enduring life. Together, they explore what happens when grit becomes avoidance, achievement becomes identity, and pushing through becomes the only way we know how to survive.
Marc shares how a grueling 200-mile ultramarathon forced him to confront the anxiety, family patterns, relationship dynamics, and need to prove his worth that had followed him for decades. His memoir, Hard Things, is not simply a story about surviving an extreme race. It is about uncovering the deeper reasons we keep choosing hard things and learning when strength requires us to stop running.
This conversation explores:
⢠The difference between endurance and enduring
⢠When grit becomes a form of emotional avoidance
⢠The hidden motivations behind extreme achievement
⢠How family patterns shape relationships and parenting
⢠Who we become when we stop proving our worth
⢠Why vulnerability may be the hardest form of strengthLearn more about Marc, explore Hard Things, and read the first chapter at HardThingsBook.com.
What did you perform in order to survive?
Welcome to the edge.
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Why do relationships feel harder than ever, even when two people genuinely love each other?
In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with relationship coach, author, speaker, and ordained minister Andre Paradis for an honest conversation about love, communication, commitment, intimacy, and the survival patterns we unknowingly carry into our relationships.
Before becoming a relationship coach, Andre lived an extraordinary life as a professional dancer, performing alongside artists including Michael Jackson, Prince, Paula Abdul, and Julio Iglesias. He later became a husband, father, and successful business owner before discovering a deeper calling to help people build healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Together, Lisa and Andre explore:
⢠Why modern relationships feel so complicated
⢠How childhood wounds influence adult intimacy
⢠What men and women misunderstand about each other
⢠What makes someone commit or walk away
⢠Masculine and feminine energy without rigid stereotypes
⢠How trauma and protective behaviors can sabotage love
⢠What emotional safety looks like in a lasting relationshipLearn more about Andre and Project Equinox Coaching:
http://www.projectequinox.netLearn more about Lisa Lacy:
https://www.lisalacy.comWhat did you perform in order to survive, and is it still serving you?
Subscribe for more honest conversations about trauma, identity, relationships, recovery, leadership, and what it means to be human.
See you at the edge.
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We all get the same 24 hours.
So why do some people feel purposeful while others feel overwhelmed?
Join me for a live conversation with keynote speaker, author, and time strategy coach C.W. Hawley as we explore the hidden relationship between leadership, identity, and the way we experience time.
Rather than offering another productivity system, C.W. challenges us to rethink the beliefs, habits, and expectations that keep high performers feeling constantly behind.
Together weâll discuss:
⢠Why burnout is often a symptom of misalignment rather than a lack of time.
⢠How our relationship with time shapes the way we lead, work, and live.
⢠The connection between identity, expectations, and overwhelm.
⢠Practical strategies for creating sustainable leadership rhythms.
⢠How to pursue meaningful success without sacrificing your well-being.Whether youâre an executive, entrepreneur, leader, or simply someone trying to balance competing priorities, this conversation will leave you thinking differently about what it means to truly own your time.
What did you perform in order to survive?
Welcome to the Edge.
www.lisalacy.com
How to work with C.W.:
Lets Talk Time - Let's Talk TimeC.W. Hawley | LinkedIn
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What does success cost when the person carrying it is quietly breaking underneath it?
In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with James Lang, Managing Partner and co-founder of OverLang Venture Partners, for a conversation about ambition, identity, leadership, medical crisis, and the human cost of high performance.
Before launching OverLang, James served as COO of a MedTech startup, where he helped grow the company to more than $20 million in revenue, built a global team of 60 people, and helped lead the organization toward a successful exit.
Then a serious medical crisis changed everything.
James was forced to reconsider what he believed about work, leadership, success, and the life he was building. Today, he helps American companies grow through strategy, operations, culture, and artificial intelligence, while challenging leaders to remember that growth must support the humans carrying it, not just improve the numbers on a dashboard.
In this conversation, we explore:
⢠The hidden internal cost of outward success
⢠How a medical crisis reshaped Jamesâs identity and ambition
⢠What human-centered growth looks like inside an organization
⢠Why company culture matters when scaling quickly
⢠What businesses are getting wrong about artificial intelligence
⢠How leaders can separate sustainable AI from expensive hypeLearn more about James and OverLang Venture Partners:
https://OverLang.comLearn more about Lisa Lacy:
https://www.lisalacy.comWhat did you perform in order to survive, and is it still serving you?
Subscribe for more honest conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, leadership, reinvention, and what it means to be human.
See you at the edge.
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What happens when the future disappears?
In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Iâm joined by dystopian thriller author T.A. Thompson, creator of The Mark, to explore the fascinating intersection of survival, morality, power, and human nature.
Through the lens of fiction, weâll discuss why stories about collapse often reveal uncomfortable truths about ourselves. From morally complex characters and impossible choices to leadership, identity, and what happens when consequences begin to disappear, this conversation goes far beyond writing a novel.
Weâll also explore:
⢠Why dystopian fiction continues to resonate today
⢠Building unforgettable anti-heroes readers love and hate
⢠The psychology of survival under extreme circumstances
⢠How a career built around risk shaped an entirely fictional world
⢠What fiction can teach us about who we become when everything changesWhether youâre a reader, writer, or simply fascinated by the psychology behind great stories, this is a conversation you wonât want to miss.
Join us live, bring your questions, and be part of another meaningful conversation.
Welcome to the Edge.
www.lisalacy.com
How to find T.A. Thompson's Work:
https://www.tathompsonwriter.com/
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What happens after a loss that changes your life forever?
How do we talk about suicide, grief, and mental health in ways that bring healing instead of silence?
Join me for a powerful live episode of Notes From the Edge as I sit down with author, nationally syndicated columnist, founder of The HelpHUBâ˘, Trevor Project crisis counselor, and three-time suicide loss survivor Lisa Sugarman.
Together weâll explore what it means to survive profound loss, why the language we use around suicide matters, how to support someone in crisis, and how honest conversations can save lives.
This is a conversation about resilience, compassion, hope, and the courage to speak openly about the experiences so many families carry in silence.
Whether youâve experienced loss personally, support others professionally, or simply want to better understand mental health, this episode offers insight, humanity, and practical wisdom.
What did you perform in order to survive?
Welcome to the Edge.
www.lisalacy.com
How to Find Lisa's Resources:
https://www.thehelphub.co/
Lisa Sugarman (she/her/hers) | LinkedIn
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What happens when one extraordinary experience changes the course of your entire life?
In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with Australian visionary author Eugene Samolin to explore the intersection of spirituality, consciousness, creativity, and purpose. After a profound spiritual experience reshaped his understanding of reality, Eugene dedicated his life to writing stories that bridge science, faith, philosophy, and the shared human search for meaning.
Together, they discuss identity, awakening, religious traditions, creativity, healing from trauma, and how our deepest experiences can transform the stories we tell about ourselves.
Whether youâre deeply spiritual, cautiously skeptical, or simply curious, this conversation invites you to think beyond labels and explore the questions that unite us all.
In this episode, we discuss:
⢠The experience that changed Eugeneâs life forever
⢠Spiritual awakening and personal transformation
⢠Bridging science and faith
⢠Identity, purpose, and conscious evolution
⢠Healing trauma through meaning and story
⢠Why curiosity may be more important than certaintyIf this conversation resonates with you, please like, subscribe, and share it with someone who values thoughtful conversations.
What did you perform in order to survive?
Welcome to the Edge.
How to find Eugene's Work:
Eugene Samolin | LinkedIn
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Success isnât always a sign that weâre thriving.
Sometimes itâs evidence of how well weâve learned to survive.
In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Iâm joined by internationally recognized stress management expert, speaker, coach, and six-time Amazon #1 bestselling author Lolita Guarin for a conversation about burnout, nervous system health, boundaries, and the hidden cost of high achievement.
Together weâll explore why so many successful people confuse chronic stress with resilience, how trauma and overperformance become intertwined, and what it really takes to rebuild self-trust before burnout forces us to stop.
If youâve ever felt like youâre accomplishing everything while quietly falling apart inside, this conversation is for you.
Weâll discuss:
⢠The difference between stress and survival mode
⢠The hidden signs of burnout most people miss
⢠Why high achievers struggle with boundaries
⢠Rebuilding self-trust after chronic stress
⢠Creating sustainable success without sacrificing your wellbeingJoin us live for another honest, human conversation about the stories we perform to survive and what becomes possible when we stop performing.
Welcome to the Edge.
www.lisalacy.com
How to Work with Lolita:
Be Amazing You - Stress Management
Lolita Guarin | LinkedIn
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If youâve ever walked away from betrayal wondering, âWhat happened to me?â this episode is for you.
Whether the betrayal came from a partner, family member, workplace, friendship, your health, or even life itself, chronic stress and betrayal donât just break trust. They can change the way your brain processes safety, relationships, and decision-making.
In this solo episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy explores the neuroscience behind betrayal, trauma, and survival without shame or jargon. Youâll learn why you second-guess yourself, overthink everything, struggle to trust your instincts, and why those responses may be signs of adaptation rather than weakness.
In this episode, youâll discover:
⢠How betrayal affects the brain and nervous system
⢠Why youâre not âcrazyâ or broken
⢠The role of the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex in survival
⢠Why insight alone doesnât create healing
⢠Practical steps to begin rebuilding self-trust
⢠How neuroplasticity gives us hope for lasting changeIf this conversation resonates with you, youâre invited to Betrayal Rewiredâ˘, a complimentary live experiential workshop on Sunday, August 2, where weâll move beyond information and experience practical tools for nervous system regulation, self-trust, and healing.
Because maybe the problem isnât that youâre broken.
Maybe your brain simply learned to survive.
If this episode speaks to you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs the reminder that they are not alone.
What did you perform in order to survive?
Welcome to the edge.
Betrayal Rewired: Register Here
https://calendly.com/contact-lisa-lacy/betrayal-rewired
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What if the behaviors we judge the most are actually the ones that helped us survive?
Join me for a powerful live episode of Notes From the Edge with Jessie Hannah, creator of Bare Becoming, as we explore the neuroscience behind body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs), trichotillomania, shame, nervous system regulation, and the path from self-judgment to self-understanding.
After hiding her hair-pulling disorder for more than 25 years, Jessie made the courageous decision to shave her head publicly and share her story. Today, her work has reached millions of people by helping them replace the question, âWhatâs wrong with me?â with a far more compassionate one: âWhat is this behavior trying to protect me from?â
In this conversation, weâll explore:
⢠The hidden reality of body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs)
⢠The neuroscience behind habits that are so difficult to stop
⢠Why shame rarely leads to healing
⢠The connection between coping behaviors, identity, and the nervous system
⢠How curiosity can become the beginning of lasting change
⢠What it means to truly understand yourself instead of judging yourselfWhether youâve struggled with anxiety, perfectionism, compulsive behaviors, or simply want to better understand how the brain protects us, this conversation will leave you seeing yourself and others through a more compassionate lens.
Welcome to the Edge.
www.lisalacy.com
Where to find Jesse:
https://www.tiktok.com/@barebecoming?_r=1&_t=ZT-97wP30W0zOA
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What if the biggest challenges in our relationships arenât about communication at all?
What if theyâre about survival?
Join me for a live episode of Notes From the Edge with licensed marriage and family therapist Kayla Crane as we explore the hidden ways trauma, attachment, and past experiences shape the way we love, fight, trust, and connect.
Together weâll discuss:
⢠Why communication alone doesnât solve relationship problems
⢠How trauma silently affects even healthy relationships
⢠Healing after infidelity and rebuilding trust
⢠The role of attachment styles in adult relationships
⢠Why couples keep having the same arguments
⢠What authentic connection looks like after survival modeThis conversation is for anyone who has ever wondered why relationships can feel so hard, even when love is present.
Welcome to the Edge.
How to Find Kayla:
https://www.southdenvertherapy.com/
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What if success isnât the destination weâve been taught it is?
Join me live for an honest conversation with Ted Kopecko, #1 international bestselling author of Finding JOY⌠Journey of You, as we explore why so many accomplished professionals still feel burned out, disconnected, and unfulfilled despite doing everything âright.â
After more than 30 years in business, architecture, entrepreneurship, and commercial real estate, Ted discovered a common pattern: people were building successful careers while quietly losing themselves in the process.
Together, weâll explore:
⢠The difference between being Life-Led and JOY-Led
⢠Why achievement doesnât always create fulfillment
⢠How identity shapes every decision we make
⢠The hidden cost of living on autopilot
⢠Practical ways to align your mindset, purpose, and time
⢠What it really means to rewrite your storyThis conversation is for entrepreneurs, executives, leaders, creators, and anyone who has ever wondered:
âIâve built the life I thought I wanted⌠so why doesnât it feel the way I expected?â
Welcome to the Edge.
www.lisalacy.com
How to Work with Ted:
Ted Kopecko Author "Finding JOY... Journey Of You" | LinkedIn
Home | Finding Joy
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What if healing ourselves is the first step toward healing the world?
Join me for a powerful live conversation with author, artist, environmental advocate, and longtime meditation and yoga practitioner TeZa Lord as we explore the connection between recovery, spirituality, resilience, and our relationship with the natural world.
After overcoming addiction and transforming her own life, TeZa has dedicated her work to helping others rediscover purpose, inner peace, and a deeper sense of connection. Together, weâll discuss what it means to move beyond survival, navigate lifeâs hardest seasons, and find hope even when everything seems to be falling apart.
In this conversation, weâll explore:
⢠The hidden gifts of recovery and personal transformation
⢠Why healing ourselves may be the greatest act of service
⢠The relationship between nature, spirituality, and mental well being
⢠Finding meaning during grief, loss, burnout, and major life transitions
⢠How to stay compassionate in a divided world without losing yourself
Whether youâre navigating your own healing journey or simply looking for a thoughtful conversation about what it means to be fully human, this episode is for you.
Welcome to the Edge.
www.lisalacy.com
How to Work with TeZa:
teZa Lord | LinkedIn
ZLORD podcastteZa Lord
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Weâve all heard the advice.
Go to therapy.
Journal.
Meditate.
Read the books.
Do the inner work.But what happens when youâve done all of that and something still feels stuck?
Join me for a live conversation with Cheryl Stelte, bestselling author, speaker, and founder of the Azarias Energy Healing Certification Program, as we explore why awareness doesnât always lead to transformation and what it takes to create lasting change.
Together weâll discuss the intersection of trauma, subconscious conditioning, nervous system regulation, identity, spirituality, and the survival patterns that quietly shape our lives.
Whether youâre a clinician, coach, leader, survivor, or simply someone curious about the human experience, this conversation will challenge you to think beyond insight and toward embodied transformation.
Weâll explore:
⢠Why insight alone often isnât enough
⢠Trauma and subconscious survival patterns
⢠Cherylâs near-death experience and its impact on her work
⢠The difference between knowing and becoming
⢠What authentic transformation actually looks likeBring your questions. Join us live. Letâs have another human conversation that matters.
Notes From the Edgeâ˘
Where high performers stop performing and start having the conversations they should have had all along.www.lisalacy.com
How to Work with Cheryl:
Home Page V4 - Star of Divine Light Institute
Cheryl Stelte | LinkedIn
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