Episodes
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What a jar of Vegenaise taught me about intimacy, disappearance, and remembering my worth
If youâve followed my previous podcast (Sexplicit), youâll notice a shift â in tone, in depth, in direction. This isnât a new beginning, but a deepening.
In this first season Iâll be reading some of my own writings â essays and reflections that, to my surprise, have resonated deeply with so many people. I first shared them as blog posts and was gobsmacked by the messages I received â stories, confessions, thank-yous â from people who felt seen in ways they hadnât expected.
So I wanted to bring those pieces to life in audio form as wellâ for those of you who prefer to listen rather than read, and for those who want to feel the rhythm and breath behind the words.
In these essays, I write both as a sexologist and as a human. Sometimes I share my own experiences â with love, loss, sex, and intimacy. Other times, I draw from my clientsâ stories and the insights that have shaped my work.
As one reader put it so perfectly â âTheyâre meant to be felt, not necessarily understood.â
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If youâve followed my previous podcast (Sexplicit), youâll notice a shift â in tone, in depth, in direction. This isnât a new beginning, but a deepening.
In this first season Iâll be reading some of my own writings â essays and reflections that, to my surprise, have resonated deeply with so many people. I first shared them as blog posts and was gobsmacked by the messages I received â stories, confessions, thank-yous â from people who felt seen in ways they hadnât expected.
So I wanted to bring those pieces to life in audio form as wellâ for those of you who prefer to listen rather than read, and for those who want to feel the rhythm and breath behind the words.
In these essays, I write both as a sexologist and as a human. Sometimes I share my own experiences â with love, loss, sex, and intimacy. Other times, I draw from my clientsâ stories and the insights that have shaped my work.
As one reader put it so perfectly â âTheyâre meant to be felt, not necessarily understood.â
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Missing episodes?
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What makes someone leave a corporate career to become a male escort? In this eye-opening conversation, Anisa sits down with George Goulburn, who shares his unexpected journey into the world of professional intimacy.
George talks about:
The emotional and psychological depth of his work
The profound impact he has on his clientsâ lives
The biggest misconceptions about male sex work
Why intimacyâpaid or notâis a fundamental human needThis episode challenges everything you think you know about sex work. Whether youâre curious, skeptical, or just eager to hear a fresh perspective, Georgeâs story will make you rethink the way you view sex work.
Hit play and step into a world rarely discussed but deeply human.
Connect with George:
Website: www.georgegoulburn.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/george_goulburn/?hl=en -
In this special bonus episode, we step away from expert interviews to sit down with everyday people. Silence and stigma around sexuality can leave us feeling isolated, misunderstood, or even ashamed, but sharing stories reminds us that weâre not alone.
Today, Iâm joined by Lynton, who candidly shares his personal story. Together, we explore:
Polyamory: What it means to embrace ethical non-monogamy.Difficult Conversations: Navigating open and honest communication with partners, even when itâs uncomfortable.The Role of Vulnerability in Connection: How being vulnerable can deepen intimacy and foster stronger relationships.Managing Jealousy: Strategies for working through jealousy in any relationship.Living with an Acquired Injury and Disability: Lyntonâs talks about his experience of intimacy, connection, and self-acceptance post-injury.Tune in for an inspiring conversation that might just change how you view intimacy and connection.
Resources & Links
Our website: www.relatesexology.comLynton's Youtube channel: www.youtube.com/@BeingLyntonđŹ Have a story to share or a topic youâd love us to explore? Reach out â weâd love to hear from you!
đ§ Donât forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast â your support helps us continue provide free sexuality education to all.
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In this conversation, Anisa Varasteh and Stacey Micallef discuss the concept of sexual confidence in relation to gender identities and the challenges faced by gender diverse individuals. Stacey shares practical tips for enhancing sexual confidence and emphasises the freedom that comes with gender diversity. The discussion also touches on the connection between gender and sexuality, and how individuals can find inclusive therapists to support their journey.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction
04:16 Challenges Faced by Gender Diverse Individuals
07:01 Impact of Body Acceptance on Confidence
11:26 The Importance of Labels in Gender Identity and Sexuality
18:38 The Connection Between Sexuality and Gender
21:56 The Benefits of Gender Diversity
23:52 Tips for Feeling More Confident Sexually
30:54 Creating a Safe and Affirming Environment with Therapists
Find Stacey here: everybodysexology.com.au -
In this episode of Sexplicit, Anisa sits down with Clinical Sexologist Kate Dempsey to explore the complex journey of rebuilding sexual confidence after infidelity. This episode delves into the intense emotional landscape that can emerge after betrayal, examining the ways it affects oneâs sense of erotic confidence and other areas of life. With practical tips grounded in Internal Family Systems (IFS), Anisa and Kate discuss strategies to manage overwhelming feelings and begin the healing process.
Kate is an Accredited Clinical Psychosexual Therapist, Certified IFS Clinical Consultant, and Clinical Sexuality Educator. She teaches in the Psychosexual Therapy Postgraduate Program at the University of Sydneyâs Faculty of Medicine and Health and works as an embedded contractor in a psychiatric hospital, where she facilitates sessions on âSexual Function and Mental Healthâ and âSexual Function and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorderâ for veterans and first responders. Kate also operates a private practice, Sexology North Queensland, where she works with adults in diverse relationship styles.
Topics Covered:
Overview of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and its application to infidelity recoveryThe impact of infidelity on both individuals and partners, including its effects on self-esteem and sexual confidenceRebuilding trust and courageous communication within relationshipsPractical tools for managing intense emotions during recoveryTune in for insights and actionable advice to help listeners regain confidence and reconnect with their authentic sexual selves, even after the challenges of betrayal.
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In this episode of Sexplicit, join Anisa as she dives deep into the topic of sexual confidence for heterosexual men with Cam Fraser, a Certified Professional Sex Coach and Certified Sexologist. Together, they explore the barriers men face when it comes to sexual confidence and provide practical strategies to overcome them.
Topics Covered:
Insecurities and anxieties men commonly experience in the bedroomThe influence of social norms and masculine identity on sexual confidenceHow sexual education (or lack thereof) shapes men's sexual experiencesPractical tips and resources to build lasting sexual confidenceAbout Our Guest: Cam Fraser is a Certified Professional Sex Coach, Certified Sexologist, and former Tantric Yoga Teacher. His work blends scientifically validated sexual health information with sacred sexuality teachings. Cam helps men move beyond surface-level sex to experience full-bodied, self-expressed, pleasure-oriented sexual experiences free from anxiety and shame. You can learn more about his work at cam-fraser.com.
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In this episode Anisa has a conversation with Ella Shannon, the National Chair of the Society of Australian Sexologists, for a candid conversation about sexual confidence after trauma. They explore strategies to reclaiming sexual confidence following traumatic experiences, offering hope and guidance to those on the path to healing.
Key Topics Discussed:
What is Sexual Confidence? AIs it Possible to Feel Confident Again? Practical Tips for Reconnecting with Safety and Pleasure.The Role of TherapyHow to Find the Right Therapist.Whether you've experienced trauma yourself or are supporting someone who has, this episode offers valuable insights and practical advice for anyone looking to reclaim their sexual confidence.
For more information about Ella Shannon and her work, visit her website at ellashannon.com. -
In this episode, we dive deep into the world of sexual confidence with Caitlin V.
Caitlin V is a sex and relationship coach, YouTuber, and host of Good Sex on Max and Discovery+. Formerly a professional sexual health researcher, she dropped out of her PHD program to start a career coaching men to gain confidence, satisfaction, and transformation both inside and outside the bedroom. Caitlinâs mission is to create a sex and pleasure-positive world.
Caitlin shares practical tips and strategies to enhance your sexual confidence, making this episode a must-listen for anyone looking to feel more empowered in their sexual journey.Key Topics:
Defining sexual confidence and why itâs importantThe challenges singles face in building sexual confidenceManaging anxiety in dating and sexual situationsPractical tips to boost your sexual confidenceHow to communicate your desires, needs, and boundaries effectivelyLearn More About Caitlin V.:
Website: caitlinvneal.comYouTube: youtube.com/caitlinv -
In this episode, Anisa is joined by Jacqueline Hellyer, one of Australiaâs leading sexologists and the founder of the Lovelife Clinic. They dive deep into the nuances of sexual confidence within long-term relationships, exploring what it truly means to feel confident and connected with your partner over time.
Understanding Sexual ConfidenceChallenges to Sexual Confidence in Long-Term RelationshipsImpact of Communication on ConfidenceChallenging Societal Norms and ExpectationsPractical Tips for Improvement
Key Topics Discussed:Resources Mentioned:
Lovelife Clinic: Explore more about Jacqulineâs work and the services offered at the Lovelife Clinic: www.thelovelifeclinic.comJacqulineâs Retreats: www.jacquelinehellyer.com/lovelife-retreats -
In this engaging episode, join Anisa, as she candidly shares her birth story and imparts valuable tips on minimising the risk of birth trauma. Get ready for an insightful discussion covering postpartum intimacy with Anisa Varsteh and Candice Care-Unger, both experienced clinical sexologists. Highlights include:
Anisa's personal birth journeyPractical advice on reducing the likelihood of birth traumaTips and perspectives on navigating post-party intimacyYou can contact Anisa on relatesexology.com
You can contact Candice on carerehab.com.au -
In this episode, I'm opening up and sharing my story, giving you a glimpse into what led me to become a clinical sexologist.
Amanda (Relate Sexology's Communications Manager) and I will be diving deep into the fascinating topic of why sex is taboo and shining a light on the historical policing of women's sexuality. It's a topic that hits close to home for many of us, and together, we'll explore why these issues persist and how they impact our lives today.
This episode is all about connection and breaking down barriers. I hope you will feel like we're sitting together, having this authentic conversation, as I share my personal experiences and insights.
So grab your favourite cozy spot, put on your headphones, tune in and be a part of this engaging and relatable conversation! -
In this episode you will hear Anisa Varasteh Clinical Sexologist discuss:
-Why people are interested in such extreme practices
- Is kink a sexual practice?
-Why there is a high representation of asexual and neurodivergent people in kink community
-Do masochists really enjoy pain?
-Sub/Dom space: an altered state of consciousness
Links:
https://www.relatesexology.com/healing-through-kink -
In this episode you will hear Anisa Varasteh Clinical Sexologist discuss:
Underlying causes of sexual painstrategies to address painful sexTo book an appointment with Relate Sexology team go to : relatesexology.com/our-team
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In this episode you will hear Anisa Varasteh Clinical Sexologist discuss:
-Discerning developmentally typical sexual behaviours in children from concerning behaviours
-Examples of developmentally typical behaviours and concerning behaviours in 4 age groups
Submit your questions anonymously here: https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DNMZV75 -
In this episode Anisa Varasteh, Clinical Sexologist discusses:
· The impact of sexual assault on relationships
· Why sex and intimacy can be very challenging after sexual assault
· How to re-build intimacy if you find any sexual or physical activity triggering
· What partners can do to support their loved one
· Strategies to enjoy intimacy again
· What type of therapist can help with intimacy related issues post trauma
Submit your questions anonymously here: https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DNMZV75
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In this episode Anisa Varasteh, Clinical Sexologist discusses:
What is narcissism? Identifying narcissism in relationships Early signs and red flags for narcissism in romantic and sexual relationshipsThe impact of long-term relationships with a narcissistLeaving a toxic relationship with a narcissist -
In this episode, Anisa Varasteh, Clinical Sexologists will discuss:
What the 5 Love Languages are
Why they may be hurting your relationship
Tips for healthy relationships
Managing conflicts in a relationship
Submit your questions anonymously here: www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DNMZV75
More about Relate Sexology: www.relatesexology.com
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