Episodes
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Dr. Dana Borchert sits down with Rob and Dave to push back on their views about toxic masculinity, non-violent communication, and more. It’s a fun, honest conversation where Dana offers fresh insights and challenges the guys to think differently about some things they’ve said before. Hit play and join the conversation! 🎧🧠
Don't forget to like and subscribe if you like our content! 👍
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Timestamps
(00:00) - Coming up
(00:26) - Introduction: Who is Dr. Dana Borchert?
(04:06) - Rob's wall update
(05:16) - Dana challenges our take on toxic masculinity
(12:52) - Rob's conversation with his wife
(16:06) - The problem with the term "toxic masculinity"
(22:23) - Non-violent communication
(26:39) - The benefits of non-violent communication
(28:53) - Facing our insecurities
(33:04) - What is toxic femininity?
(36:34) - The trad wife movement
(41:16) - Raising emotionally aware boys & the "Mrs. degree"
(43:22) - Why do we need rules and restraints in conversations? -
In this episode of Shrink Space, we explain the psychology of loyalty in politics, the workplace, and personal relationships through the lens of one of today’s most polarizing geopolitical dynamics: Donald Trump vs. Volodymyr Zelensky.
- What drives loyalty, even in the face of conflict?
- How do political leaders influence public trust and allegiance?
- What parallels can we draw between political loyalty and commitment in our personal and professional lives?Tune in for a discussion about the psychological and social factors that shape who we stand by and why.
🎧 Subscribe now for more expert insights into human behavior and psychology
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Missing episodes?
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How does someone become an abuser? Is it trauma, control issues, or something even darker? In this episode, psychologists Dave and Rob break down the psychology behind abusive behavior—what creates someone like Brian Laundrie, what triggers violence, and whether abusers even recognize what they’re doing.
They also explain the cycle of abuse, the mistakes police made when they encountered Gabby Petito, and the similarities between abusers and cult leaders. If you want to understand the warning signs before it’s too late, this is the episode for you.
David and Rob are speaking on this topic using their backgrounds in psychology. However, the purpose of this podcast is informational and entertainment. As a result, the information presented here is not intended as psychological advice.
If you think you might be in an abusive relationship or are concerned that someone you know might be, you can find resources at https://www.thehotline.org
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What do we really mean by toxic masculinity? And does toxic femininity exist too? In this episode of Shrink Space, psychologists Dave and Rob discuss what masculinity is, what makes traits toxic and how it may impact our children. Hit play and let's discuss!
<br>Do you agree with what we're saying or do you think we missed something? Let us know in the comments and don't forget to like the video! 👍💬<br>
Timestamps:
(00:00) Intro
(00:21) Update on the situation with our boss
(01:51) The talent show
(04:22) Today's Topic: Toxic Masculinity
(07:38) What does it mean to be masculine?
(11:00) Defending your wife
(13:51) What is TOXIC masculinity?
(18:39) Are we just trying to erase masculinity?
(20:17) Are we expecting boys to suppress their masculine traits?
(22:45) Masculinity as a trait
(23:31) Self-destructive behaviors
(24:25) Toxic Femininity: Does it exist?
(27:13 )The difference between Toxic Masculinity and Toxic Femininity
(30:41) Why do we label toxic behaviors with gender?
(32:57) Moms vs. dads: How they interact with their kids differently
(36:04) Is masculine behavior learned or innate?
(38:10) How we show affection with our kids
(40:12) How we interact with other men
(42:06) Toxic Masculinity on social media
(43:04) Rob's relationship with his father-in-law
(44:40) Crying in public
(48:21) Final thoughts -
In this episode, Rob and Dave discuss the complex dynamics of cancel culture. Rob shares his recent health struggles and his evolving views on language and communication. They explore the balance between addressing societal issues and the potential unintended consequences of cancel culture, particularly its impact on relationships and societal discourse. They also delve into the nuances of communication within professional and informal settings, touching on the importance of directness versus sensitivity. Tune in for an insightful conversation that challenges the extremes and seeks a balanced perspective.00:00 Introduction and Catching Up00:37 Rob's Health Struggles02:33 Language and Communication Rant04:02 Psych Speak in Everyday Life07:03 The Impact of Over-Politeness10:51 Nonviolent Communication Debate12:35 The Unraveling of Society20:56 Cancel Culture Discussion30:01 The Psychology Behind Cancel Culture32:04 The Emotional Reward of Canceling Celebrities34:24 The Value and Downsides of Cancel Culture37:03 The Role of the Me Too Movement39:30 Comedy and Cancel Culture41:48 The Impact of Cancel Culture on Society45:23 Navigating Sensitivity and Authenticity50:45 Concluding Thoughts on Cancel Culture
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Are Awards Really Important? A Deep Dive with Rob and DaveIn this episode, Rob and Dave discuss the significance of awards, specifically focusing on entertainment awards like the Grammys and Oscars. They share personal experiences and perspectives on why people care about awards, whether they are still relevant, and the psychological impact of recognition and status. They also debate intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation, the subjective nature of awards, and if these accolades genuinely reflect the best in a field. Join them for a nuanced conversation about awards, recognition, and what truly matters in creativity and achievement.00:00 Catching Up: Parenting Challenges01:11 Award Shows and the Grammys02:19 Fashion Highlights and Critiques04:26 Kanye West and Bianca's Entrance09:32 The Relevance of Award Shows13:28 Personal Connection to Awards18:35 The Value of Awards and Recognition29:42 The Distortion of Rewards31:34 Intrinsic vs Extrinsic Motivation32:19 The Impact on Creativity33:59 The Changing Landscape of Movies35:48 The Role of Status and Recognition40:19 Subjectivity and Bias in Awards43:06 Personal Reflections on Awards47:15 The Future of Awards53:51 Conclusion and Viewer Engagemen
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In this episode, Dave and Rob dive headfirst into the Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni drama. They react to the voice memo Justin left Blake at 2 AM and explore the nuances behind their conflict. 00:00 Introduction and Initial Disappointment00:53 Switching Topics: Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni02:56 Deep Dive: The Movie and Promotional Issues05:22 Allegations and Controversies08:40 Voice Memo Analysis15:29 Psychological Insights and Reactions29:45 Respect and Deference in Communication30:29 Building Relationships Through Voice Memos32:06 Coaching and Intimidation33:37 Directness vs. Deference in Leadership34:18 Industry-Specific Communication Styles35:59 Navigating Creative Partnerships38:31 Addressing Past Experiences and Apologies45:08 Public Perception and Assumptions48:25 Celebrity Culture and Public Fascination56:15 Final Thoughts and Viewer Engagement
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In this episode, Dave and Rob catch up on their recent adventures and dive deep into the topic of parasocial relationships. They discuss the nuances of these one-sided relationships, using examples like Taylor Swift, Kevin Hart, and even sports teams to illustrate their points. They explore the types, benefits, and potential downsides of parasocial interactions, making connections to self-help gurus, political figures, and the impact of social media. The conversation also includes insights into gender differences, the motivations behind these relationships, and personal anecdotes about their own parasocial connections. Join the discussion and share your thoughts on the phenomenon of parasocial relationships.00:00 Reunion and Legoland Adventures03:02 Listener Suggestion: Parasocial Relationships03:44 Taylor Swift and Parasocial Bonds09:10 Defining Parasocial Relationships15:48 The Impact of Social Media on Fame22:34 Curated Content and Social Division29:10 Fan Loyalty and Celebrity Obsession31:09 Degrees of Parasocial Relationships33:42 Age and Gender Differences in Parasocial Relationships42:07 The Role of Self-Help Gurus47:06 Personal Parasocial Experiences51:42 Building Parasocial Relationships with Shrink SpaceIf you want to see more Shrink Space, like this video and subscribe to the channel!
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In this episode, hosts Rob and Dave delve into the concept of mass formation and group think, discussing how society reacts to significant stressors such as the fires in California. They explore how people construct narratives and find scapegoats to make sense of chaotic events, sometimes leading to misguided and harmful behaviors. The discussion also touches on the implications of social media, celebrity influence, and the psychological need for belonging and meaning. Strategies to prevent mass formation and promote critical thinking are also examined.00:00 Introduction and Catching Up00:50 Fires in California01:05 Theme Parks and Personal Experiences04:05 Societal Reactions to Tragedies08:28 Mass Formation and Group Think13:37 Mass Formation Psychosis Debate19:29 Media Influence and Public Perception27:23 The Origin of the Fires27:48 Psychological Motivations Behind Arson28:29 The Role of Narratives in Social Movements29:52 The Power Dynamics in Everyday Actions31:25 Mass Formation and Its Implications37:04 Strategies to Prevent Mass Formation42:19 The Importance of Mindfulness and Self-Awareness48:03 Public Perception and Anonymity in Surveys52:07 Concluding Thoughts and ReflectionsIf you want to see more Shrink Space, like this video and subscribe to the channel!
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In this episode, Dave and Rob discuss their holiday experiences, share hilarious stories about their kids, and dive into the topic of personal change. They explore how behaviors, habits, and environments influence our ability to change, especially in the context of the new year. Rob shares insights from his dissertation on organizational change resistance, and both hosts set their own New Year's resolutions while providing practical advice for making lasting changes. Tune in for a mix of humor, personal anecdotes, and actionable tips on achieving your goals in the new year.00:00 Catch-Up After the Holidays00:41 Holiday Mishaps and Norovirus03:15 Family Conversations and Political Views07:11 Do People Really Change?14:24 Challenges of Changing Habits26:20 The Comfort of Coffee and Snacks27:31 College Eating Habits and Rewards29:03 Breaking Unhealthy Patterns29:20 Environmental Influence on Change33:14 Resistance to Organizational Change42:19 New Year's Resolutions and Behavioral Change44:45 Strategies for Successful Habit Change46:48 Personal Resolutions and Accountability51:35 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsIf you want to see more Shrink Space, make sure to like this video and subscribe to the channel!
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In this episode, Rob and Dave share their personal holiday experiences, discussing common family dynamics and challenges during the festive season. They dive into various personality types that often surface at holiday gatherings, such as the 'drunk uncle,' the passive-aggressive parent, and the family member who insists on confronting issues head-on. The conversation alsocovers strategies for dealing with these situations, as well as the responsibilities and frustrations around holiday gift-giving. Join them for insights, humor, and practical advice on navigating family interactions and ensuring a joyful holiday.
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Psychologists David and Rob delve into a recent controversial documentary about Lily Phillips, a successful OnlyFans star. The discussion covers the psychological aspects of her extreme behaviors, the reactions of society, and the differing perceptions based on gender. They also explore the social and moral implications of such events and the role of social media inshaping public opinion. Tune in for a deep dive into the complex intersection of mental health, pop culture, and societal values.00:00 Introduction and Unexpected Pivot01:56 Who is Lily Phillips?02:39 The Documentary Breakdown04:36 Public Reaction and Moral Debate05:26 Psychological Analysis of Lily's Actions08:44 Comparing Self-Harm and Sex Work14:22 Societal Judgments and Personal Values22:35 The Role of Social Media28:51 The Paradox of Compassion and Judgment30:20 The Role of Society and Friends31:44 Shifting Gears: The Male Perspective33:49 Psychological Impact of Pornography35:25 Moral Gray Areas and Societal Norms48:31 The Gender Double Standard52:25 Conclusion and Upcoming TopicsIf you want to see more Shrink Space, make sure to like this video and subscribe to the channel!
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In this episode, Rob and Dave discuss the various psychological and situational stressors that arise during the holiday season. They explore the pressures of family expectations, financial strain, nostalgia, and the challenges of managing relationships. The conversation also includespersonal anecdotes and tips on how to handle the stress that comes with holiday gatherings.
Tune in for part two of a three-part series focused on making your holiday season more manageable and enjoyable.00:00 Reconnecting and Setting Up01:24 The Cat Hoodie Dilemma01:57 Carhartt and Caterpillar Stories05:35 Holiday Stress Series Introduction08:03 Personal Experiences with Holiday Stress17:56 Financial Strain and Expectations25:49 The Container Store Obsession28:01 Holiday Expectations and Disappointments29:16 The Stress of Hosting and Impressing31:59 Family Dynamics and Emotional Work39:08 Anxiety About Aging Relatives43:39 Nostalgia and Changing Traditions49:28 Wrapping Up and Looking AheadIf you want to see more Shrink Space, make sure to like this video and subscribe to the channel!
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Join Rob and Dave as they dive into the theme of gratitude just in time for Thanksgiving. Hear about their personal Thanksgiving traditions, thoughts on gratitude practices like journals, and the psychological benefits and downsides of focusing on the positive. The episode is filled with humor, personal anecdotes, and meaningful reflections on what they're thankful for this year.If you want to see more Shrink Space, make sure to like this video, and subscribe to the channel!
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In this episode, Psychologists David and Rob use the presidential election to delve into the psychological concept of the False Consensus Effect. They discuss how it impacts political perspectives in the United States, and explore cultural influences, social media's role in polarization, and the effects of individualistic versus collectivist societies. If you want to see more Shrink Space, make sure to like this video, and subscribe to the channel!
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Some of us are competitive. Like, we flip the Monopoly board because we just had to pay taxes on boardwalk and just went to jail, again, kind of competitive. Some of us are not competitive at all. Some people really don't care if they win or lose. Today, Rob and Dave dive into the concept of competition and if being competitive is good or bad, why we love to compete, why we don't love to compete, and other things sprinkled with that good ole childhood trauma and insecurities. If you want to see more Shrink Space, make sure to like this video, and subscribe to the channel!
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Join Rob and David on Shrink Space as they dive into the Dunning-Kruger Effect, exploring how overconfidence and lack of knowledge play out in politics and everyday life. The conversation unfolds around election season in the U.S., highlighting the importance of humility and questioning in understanding public policies.Don't miss this insightful and engaging discussion!
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What makes a good cult leader? Why would anyone join a cult?In today's episode, Rob and Dave take a deep dive into the underlying psychological mechanisms that create cults. If you'd like to see more Shrink Space content, be sure to like this video and subscribe to this channel
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You know that feeling - when you are 'so right' about something? In this episode Rob and David discuss benefits and pitfalls of feeling like you have the moral and intellectual high ground. If you'd like to see more Shrink Space content, be sure to like this video and subscribe to this channel
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