Episodios
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Becoming a parent is one of life's biggest transitions. Alongside the practical changes of caring for a new baby can come profound shifts in identity, relationships, emotions and mental health.
In this episode, perinatal psychologist Julianne Boutaleb joins Dr Lee David to explore why this period can feel so challenging and why many new parents are surprised by the intensity of the experience. From changes in the brain and heightened sensitivity to uncertainty through to sleep deprivation, relationship changes and the loss of the village that once helped families raise children, the conversation explores some of the reasons life with a new baby can feel harder than expected.
Julianne explains how modern parents often place enormous pressure on themselves to get everything right. They discuss perfectionism, social comparison and the belief that we should somehow instinctively know how to care for a baby. The discussion highlights why babies do not need perfect parents and how the idea of "good enough" parenting may be more helpful than many people realise.
The episode also explores the importance of connection and support. Julianne reflects on the role of partners, family, friends and wider communities in helping parents navigate the emotional ups and downs of early parenthood. She explains why asking for help can be difficult and why many parents mistakenly believe they should be able to manage alone.
Lee and Julianne also discuss perinatal mental health, including anxiety, depression, intrusive thoughts and birth trauma. They explore how to recognise when additional support may be needed and why early support can make a meaningful difference.
This is a thoughtful conversation about the emotional realities of life with a new baby and a reminder that finding this period difficult is often a reflection of the scale of the transition rather than a sign that something has gone wrong.
And you can read Julianne's poem, Little Stranger, here in in our blog.
Key moments
00:00 The reality of becoming a parent
03:05 Why the transition feels so challenging
06:17 Uncertainty and loss of control
08:53 The support new parents need
12:07 Comparison and parenting pressure
17:00 How parenthood changes the brain
19:58 Why babies don't need perfect parents
23:58 The importance of a village
29:19 Small moments of support and kindness
31:22 Recognising perinatal mental health difficulties
36:24 Growth and change through parenthood
38:27 Choice Space takeawayAbout the guest
Julianne Boutaleb is a consultant perinatal psychologist and founder and clinical director of Parenthood In Mind. With more than 24 years' experience across the NHS and private practice, she specialises in supporting parents and parents-to-be with perinatal mental health difficulties including anxiety, depression, birth trauma, PTSD, tokophobia, reproductive loss, fertility treatment, attachment difficulties and relationship challenges. Julianne has a particular interest in the impact of birth trauma on parents, couple relationships and parent-infant attachment, and has extensive experience teaching and training health professionals in perinatal mental health, attachment and early years wellbeing. She works with individuals, couples and families using a range of evidence-based approaches including CBT, ACT, compassion-focused therapy and attachment-based interventions.
You can contact her via the Parenthood in Mind Website, LinkedIn and Instagram
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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Some women spend years wondering why everyday life feels more difficult than it seems to for other people. They may appear calm, capable and organised on the outside, yet privately struggle with overwhelm, overthinking, self-criticism and exhaustion.
In this episode, Dr Lee David is joined by Gabrielle Treanor, ADHD coach, author and founder of the Quiet ADHD Club, to explore how ADHD can be missed in quiet, introverted and sensitive women.
Diagnosed herself at 48, Gabrielle reflects on why many women do not recognise themselves in common ADHD stereotypes. The discussion explores how ADHD may be hidden behind competence, people-pleasing, perfectionism and a lifelong effort to appear as though everything is under control.
The conversation looks at masking, rejection sensitivity, burnout, hyperfocus and the impact of living for years without understanding why certain aspects of life feel harder than they seem to for others. It also explores the relationship between ADHD, menopause and the inner critic, and how understanding what is happening can bring relief, self-compassion and a different way of viewing ourselves.
Practical strategies are woven throughout the discussion, including creating space for joy and creativity, recognising rejection sensitivity, using movement to support regulation, managing time blindness and building compassionate approaches that reduce pressure rather than adding to it.
This is a thoughtful conversation about self-understanding, compassion and recognising ADHD beyond the stereotypes.
Key moments
00:00 Finding the quiet ADHD story
01:58 Gabrielle's late ADHD diagnosis
05:30 How ADHD can look different in women
08:56 The hidden inner experience of ADHD
12:25 Perfectionism, masking and the inner critic
14:05 Burnout and unmet potential
18:46 Why joy matters for the ADHD brain
23:07 Rejection sensitivity and relationships
29:40 Self-compassion and regulation
35:04 Time blindness and overcommitting
37:55 Hyperfocus and healthy boundaries
40:59 Movement as a regulation toolAbout the guest
Gabrielle Treanor is a coach, writer, author and podcaster based in Wales, specialising in supporting introverted and sensitive women who discover – or suspect – they have ADHD later in life. Diagnosed herself at 48, Gabrielle hosts the Quiet ADHD Club, works one to one with coaching clients, and has an MSc in Applied Positive Psychology. She is the author of The 1% Wellness Experiment and host of the Pressing Pause podcast. She is also creating the Better Read Book Fest – the UK’s first literary festival dedicated entirely to wellbeing books.
You can connect with Gabrielle via her website, Instagram and LinkedIn
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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When does clutter become more than too much stuff?
For many people, clutter is simply a practical challenge. But for others, it can become linked to grief, shame, overwhelm, changing identities and life experiences that are much harder to untangle than the possessions themselves.
In this episode, Dr Lee David is joined by professional organiser and author Lesley Spellman to explore the hidden emotions behind clutter. The conversation looks beyond the practical task of tidying and asks why it can feel so difficult to let things go in the first place.
They discuss how possessions can become connected to memories, hopes for the future and versions of ourselves that are hard to leave behind. The episode explores why clutter may build up during periods of stress, poor mental health, trauma or loss, and why simply trying to become more organised rarely addresses what is happening underneath.
Lee and Lesley reflect on the role of shame and self-criticism, how clutter can affect confidence and relationships, and why many people find it difficult to ask for help. They also discuss the comfort that possessions can sometimes provide, and how that comfort can gradually become something that limits the life we want to live.
The conversation explores why small, manageable steps are often more effective than dramatic clear-outs, how confidence can grow through practice and why understanding the emotions attached to our belongings can make change feel more possible.
Rather than focusing solely on creating a tidier home, this episode reflects on how creating space in our environment can sometimes create more room for connection, wellbeing and the things that matter most.
Key moments
00:00 When clutter becomes a comfort
01:29 A house full of clutter
04:05 Shame and isolation
06:14 Understanding the emotional side of clutter
09:41 Clutter, safety and control
11:30 Clothes, identity and life changes
13:14 Building your decluttering muscle
15:02 Finding your bigger why
19:58 Grief and letting go
26:49 The power of community
28:36 Why small steps matter
31:26 What changes after decluttering
36:41 Where to startAbout the guest
Lesley Spellman is a professional organiser, author and co-founder of The Declutter Hub, a global online membership supporting thousands of people to declutter and simplify their homes. She co‑hosts The Declutter Hub Podcast with Ingrid Jansen, a show ranked in the top 0.5% of podcasts worldwide with over 3 million downloads and more than 400 episodes. Lesley is co‑author of Reset Your Home and also runs The Clutter Fairy, a successful professional organising service operating across the North West and Midlands in the UK. With 16 years of hands-on experience, she helps people move from overwhelm and guilt to calm, confident living.
You can contact Lesley via Instagram, Facebook, or the Declutter Hub website
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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What if movement in midlife is less about performance – and more about protecting the life you want to live?
In this episode of The Choice Space Podcast, Dr Lee David speaks with Dr Juliet McGrattan – former GP, runner, coach and author of The Runner’s Guide to Menopause – about why movement becomes especially important during midlife and menopause, and how to approach it in a way that feels realistic and supportive.
For many women, movement suddenly feels harder. Energy, motivation, recovery, aches and pains, changing bodies and busy lives can all affect how exercise feels. Others may feel unsure where to begin, particularly if movement has never felt enjoyable or part of their identity.
Lee and Juliet explore the many ways movement can support health and wellbeing during midlife – from improving mood, managing stress and supporting social connection, to reducing future risk of conditions such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes and frailty. They discuss why strength, mobility and balance become increasingly important during menopause, and how small, sustainable changes can make a meaningful difference over time.
The conversation also reflects on the pressures women often place on themselves around exercise. They discuss moving away from comparison, body shame and perfectionism, and instead finding ways of moving that feel flexible, enjoyable and personally meaningful – whether that means running, walking, strength work or simply starting where you are.
This is a thoughtful conversation about meeting your body where it is, valuing movement for what it gives back, and building habits that support the life you want to keep living.
Key moments
00:00 Why movement feels harder
04:16 Barriers to exercise in midlife
05:29 Why movement matters for health
09:14 Running as a gift to yourself
11:23 Making running feel enjoyable
13:07 Walking as a starting point
14:12 Listening to your body
16:59 What rest days really mean
19:12 Choice Pause – meeting your body where it is
21:05 Celebrating small wins
22:39 Staying motivated to move
29:14 Strength, mobility and ageing well
35:17 A small first step into movementAbout the guest
Dr Juliet McGrattan is a former GP, award-winning author, international speaker and coach who helps women improve their health and wellbeing through movement. Once an inactive mum and GP, Juliet’s own journey into running led her to become a marathon runner and passionate advocate for women’s health through exercise.She now combines medical knowledge with a practical, accessible approach to movement, helping women feel stronger, healthier and more confident in active lives. Juliet is the resident health expert for 261 Fearless and Women’s Running magazine, co-founder of the UK charity 261 Club UK.
SShe is the author of several books including: Sorted: The Active Woman's Guide to Health (2017), and The Runner’s Guide to Menopause: Your essential toolkit for strong, happy and healthy training was published in March 2026.
You can connect with Juliet via her website, Instagram, Facebook or LinkedIn
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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Many people recognise times when it becomes harder to switch off. We may feel constantly under pressure, more emotionally reactive or as though we are just about keeping up. But sometimes ongoing stress can begin to shift into something else – where we feel more exhausted, detached and less able to think clearly or recover.
In this episode of The Choice Space, Dr Lee David speaks with Dr Claire Plumbly, clinical psychologist and author, about how stress can sometimes progress into burnout through its impact on the nervous system.
The conversation explores the difference between stress and burnout and how burnout may develop when the nervous system stays under pressure for too long. Lee and Claire discuss the green, amber and red states of the nervous system and how understanding these can help make sense of why coping may suddenly feel harder – or why we may feel more disconnected, overwhelmed or shut down.
They also reflect on why burnout is often about more than work alone. Caring responsibilities, parenting, menopause, challenging relationships and the pressure to keep going can all add to the load we are carrying. The discussion explores why feeling heard matters when life feels overwhelming, and practical ways to support recovery – including building small pauses and transition points into busy days.
This is a thoughtful conversation about stress, burnout and recovery, offering a more compassionate and realistic way to understand why coping can sometimes start to feel harder.
Key moments
00:00 The tennis ball machine analogy
02:46 Stress versus burnout
05:47 The tipping point into burnout
08:01 Burnout beyond paid work
10:47 Burnout and the nervous system
16:37 Green, amber and red zones
18:33 Why we need green to think
22:13 Burnout and trauma parallels
27:07 Relationships and nervous system safety
35:08 “Wow, that’s a lot”
40:02 Transition points and resetAbout the guest
Dr Claire Plumbly is a clinical psychologist, author of the Amazon bestseller Burnout: How to Manage Your Nervous System Before It Manages You, and founder of Plum Psychology – a psychology practice for overcoming trauma, burnout, anxiety and low self-esteem. Claire and her team are trauma-trained psychologists offering therapy, workplace workshops and EMDR intensives. She is based online and in Taunton, Somerset.
You can connect with Claire via her website, Instagram, YouTube and LinkedIn
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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Many people live with patterns of anxiety, stress or physical symptoms without realising that past experiences may still be shaping how they feel today.
In this episode of The Choice Space, Dr Lee David speaks with Dr Susanna Petche, GP and founder of Trauma Sense, about why trauma is often missed – and how it can affect both mind and body in ways that are not always obvious.
The conversation explores how trauma is frequently minimised or overlooked, both by individuals and within wider systems of care. They discuss how experiences that were never fully acknowledged can continue to influence how safe life feels, how we relate to others, and how we see ourselves.
They also reflect on how trauma responses can show up in everyday ways – through anxiety, physical symptoms, or reactions that don’t seem to make sense. This includes the role of the body in holding stress, and how triggers can operate outside of conscious awareness.
They explore how trauma can remain unrecognised for many years, sometimes being understood as anxiety, depression or physical health problems. This can make it harder for people to make sense of their experiences, and to find the right kind of support.
The discussion highlights the importance of being seen and believed, and how simple, human responses can support healing. They explore the role of self-compassion, curiosity and body-based approaches in helping people begin to make sense of their experiences.
This is a thoughtful conversation about recognising trauma, offering a more compassionate and realistic way to understand ourselves and others.
Key moments
00:00 Personal experience of trauma
04:16 Why trauma is often missed
05:03 Minimising and dismissing trauma
07:28 Trauma and loss of safety
09:17 Why validation matters
10:12 Trauma, shame and self-blame
17:36 Signs of trauma responses
21:57 Understanding triggers
24:01 The Choice Pause
27:46 Self-compassion and healing
32:05 Starting to make sense of traumaAbout the guest
Dr Susanna Petche is a GP with over 25 years’ experience and the founder of Trauma Sense. Her work focuses on improving understanding of trauma and its wider impact on health. She integrates insights from neuroscience, functional medicine and coaching to support individuals and professionals. Through her teaching, speaking and clinical work, she aims to bring greater awareness to how trauma can be recognised and understood in everyday life.
You can contact Susanna via her website, Instagram and watch her TEDx talk
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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Many men don’t grow up being shown how to recognise, name or talk about their emotions. So when life becomes challenging, there often isn’t a clear way to make sense of what’s happening or how to respond.
In this episode of The Choice Space, Dr Lee David speaks with Chris Hemmings, therapist and founder of Men’s Therapy Hub, about why men’s mental health can be harder to recognise, talk about and support.
They explore how men are often socialised to disconnect from emotions, making it harder to understand what’s going on or to ask for help. This can show up through behaviour rather than words – irritability, withdrawal, overworking or isolation – where something feels wrong but is hard to explain.
The conversation also reflects on the role of shame, both culturally and internally, and how this can delay men seeking support until things reach crisis point. Alongside this, they discuss how connection, curiosity and compassion – from friends, family and wider society – can begin to shift this.
Chris shares practical ways men can start to take small steps, including building awareness through behaviour, opening up gradually and finding spaces where it feels possible to be heard without judgement.
This is a thoughtful and grounded conversation about understanding men’s mental health with more compassion, and creating space for earlier support and connection.
Key moments
00:00 Feeling alone in struggle
01:37 Chris’s story and coping patterns
04:18 Why men suppress emotions
07:06 Strength vs flexibility
09:33 Crisis before seeking help
12:05 Supporting boys and listening
17:49 Why men come to therapy
23:37 Choice Pause – heavy moments
26:17 Behaviour as a signal
30:28 Reaching out for supportAbout the guest
Chris Hemmings is a therapist and coach who specialises in working with men. He’s the founder of Men’s Therapy Hub, a directory of male therapists for male clients. Before training to be a therapist he was a BBC journalist, writing and making documentaries about men, masculinity and mental health. He’s also the founder of M-Path, who go in to schools across the UK speaking to students about what it means to be a man.
Connect with Chris via his website, and Men’s therapy hub via Instagram, YouTube and LinkedIn
No Man's an Island podcast
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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Many people spend years chasing the next goal, hoping life will feel better when they finally arrive. But what if feeling happier works differently?
In this episode, Dr Lee David is joined by Mark Williamson, Director of Action for Happiness and author of a new book about how to make life happier.
They explore why happiness is often misunderstood as something we reach through success, achievement or finally getting everything in place. Mark shares why many people fall into the trap of “I’ll be happy when…”, and how this can keep fulfilment feeling just out of reach.
The conversation looks at a more realistic path to wellbeing – including where we place our attention, the habits we build and how small repeated actions can shift the direction of daily life. Lee and Mark discuss mindfulness, gratitude and why noticing what genuinely helps matters more than chasing perfect routines.
They also reflect on the importance of relationships, kindness and listening well. Mark explains why connection remains one of the strongest predictors of long-term happiness, and how even small everyday interactions can have wider ripple effects.
This is a thoughtful and grounded conversation about creating a happier life through realistic choices, meaning and everyday moments that often go unseen.
Key moments
00:00 Kindness and ripple effects
01:21 Introduction
02:09 What happiness really means
07:45 The “I’ll be happy when” trap
12:21 Agency and values-led choices
16:29 Mindfulness in daily life
21:51 Gratitude and noticing good
29:00 Tiny habits that last
32:38 Why relationships matter
35:28 Listening and reducing conflict
43:20 Choice Space takeaway
45:04 Being interested, not interestingAbout the guest
Dr Mark Williamson is the Director of Action for Happiness and has led this social movement from an idea on paper to a thriving community with over 800,000 members in 100+ countries. He was previously Director of Innovation at the Carbon Trust, Senior Manager at Accenture and worked at Hewlett-Packard Labs and Orange.
Mark’s new book, Make Life Happier: 23 Practical Ways to Feel Better, Find Meaning and Make a Difference was published in April 2026.
You can follow Mark on LinkedIn, Facebook, X, Bluesky, TikTok and Instagram
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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Many people seem to be managing day to day, while privately dealing with a mind that rarely switches off. Worry can go round in circles – replaying conversations, looking for reassurance, imagining what might go wrong or trying to feel certain about an uncertain future.
In this episode of The Choice Space, Dr Lee David is joined by GP and author Dr Martin Brunet to explore why worry happens, what keeps it going and what can help when it starts to take over.
They discuss the role of uncertainty in anxiety, and why the mind often responds to uncertainty by producing more thinking rather than more clarity. From health anxiety to fears about loved ones, they explore how checking, reassurance seeking and repeated mental reviewing can bring short-term relief while keeping the cycle alive.
Martin shares practical ways to respond differently, including shifting from “what if?” to “even if”, using planned worry time, and learning how to calm the body through breathing and inner tone of voice. The conversation also explores his memorable character Wilbur – an anxious companion who is trying to protect us, but often uses unhelpful methods.
Together, they reflect on a more compassionate relationship with anxiety – not handing it control, but not fighting it endlessly either. They also explore the value of taking laughably small steps towards the life that matters to you, even when fear is present.
This is a warm, practical conversation about understanding worry, building flexibility and creating more choice in the moments that matter.
00:00 Why worry feels so powerful
01:05 Understanding anxiety differently
03:32 Fear, avoidance and self-judgement
06:09 Anxiety as one part of us
06:56 Meeting Wilbur
11:40 Patience instead of criticism
13:44 Health anxiety and symptom checking
18:07 What if versus even if
25:07 Choice Pause – moments of uncertainty
31:39 Using worry time well
35:04 Breathing and calming the nervous system
41:14 Laughably small steps forwardAbout the guest
Martin Brunet is a GP, speaker and author with an interest in communication and mental health. He works three days a week as a GP and spends the rest of his time writing, teaching and posting about mental health on social media, where he has been surprised to find that his @doc_martin_gp accounts have built a large following. His first book, The GP Consultation Reimagined, a Tale of Two Houses, was published in 2020 and outlines the Two Houses model for the consultation. Your Worry Makes Sense, his new book on anxiety and burnout, was published in 2025 for a general readership.
You can connect with Martin on Instagram and TikTok
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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In this episode of The Choice Space, Dr Lee David speaks with Samantha Evans, sexual health and pleasure expert and co-founder of Jo Divine, about sexual health, intimacy and how our relationship with our bodies can change across life.
The conversation explores how changes in hormones, health and life experiences can affect desire, comfort and confidence. They discuss how common issues such as vaginal dryness, irritation and reduced sensation are often misunderstood – and how small, practical changes can make a meaningful difference.
They also reflect on why sexual health is still difficult to talk about, both for individuals and healthcare professionals. Samantha shares insights into how shame, lack of education and cultural messaging can prevent people from seeking help, and why open, informed conversations can support both physical and emotional wellbeing.
The discussion highlights the importance of inclusive language and avoiding assumptions about age, identity or relationships. It explores how intimacy can take many forms and how people can reconnect with their bodies – and with others – in ways that feel right for them.
This is a thoughtful and practical conversation about understanding change, reducing self-judgement and finding new ways to approach intimacy across different stages of life.
Key moments
00:00 Why sexual health matters
02:30 Common intimacy concerns
06:00 Vaginal dryness and irritation
09:30 Ingredients and product awareness
12:00 Inclusivity in sexual health
14:30 Why it’s hard to talk about sex
18:00 Intimacy, grief and loss
21:20 Myths about desire and arousal
23:30 Aging, identity and assumptions
25:10 Body image and confidence
27:30 Self-criticism and kindness
29:00 Choosing intimacy on your termsAbout the guest
Samantha Evans is a sexual health and pleasure expert, former nurse and co-founder of Jo Divine, an online company specialising in skin-safe, irritant-free sexual wellbeing products. She works with healthcare professionals across the NHS and private practice to support patients with sexual function, intimacy and pleasure, including lubricants, vaginal moisturisers and appropriate products. Samantha is also a writer and educator, producing practical resources that help normalise conversations about sex and support people to explore intimacy in ways that work for them. She collaborates with cancer and menopause charities, delivers training and webinars for healthcare professionals, and has contributed to media discussions on sexual health, including appearing in Sex, Myths and the Menopause.
You can connect via the Jo Divine website, Facebook or Instagram: @samtalkssex and @jo.divine
10% discount code for Jo Divine: CHOICESPACE (£5 minimum spend on full priced products excluding P&P) ENDS 30/6/26
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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In this episode of The Choice Space, Dr Lee David speaks with Dr Sally Doust, GP and women’s health specialist, about premenstrual distress, including premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). The conversation explores how hormonal changes across the menstrual cycle can affect mood, energy, sleep and emotional sensitivity – and why these patterns are often overlooked or misunderstood.
They discuss the wider context of women’s health inequalities, including the lack of research and the ways this can affect recognition and treatment. Sally explains how changes in oestrogen and progesterone interact with the brain and body, and why premenstrual symptoms can look very different from one person to another.
The episode also looks at how to tell when symptoms may be cyclical, why tracking patterns can be so helpful and how recognition itself can reduce self-blame. There is thoughtful discussion of PMDD, including the severity of symptoms some women experience and the importance of feeling believed and supported.
Lee and Sally also explore practical support, from cycle tracking and self-compassion to lifestyle changes, supplements and medical treatment options. This is a grounded conversation about understanding patterns, widening choice and responding with more care and clarity.
Key moments
00:37 Introduction
02:48 Women’s health inequalities
04:27 Hormones across the cycle
08:52 Hormones and the brain
11:16 What PMS can look like
14:22 Cyclical patterns and timing
16:42 Choice Pause – changing mood and energy
25:35 Understanding PMDD
31:35 Supportive choices for PMS
35:29 Treatment options
41:52 Cycle tracking takeaway
42:50 The 30 – 30 – 30 approachAbout the guest
Dr Sally Doust is a GP with a specialist interest in women's health and medical educator. She works in the NHS, in private practice, and at Brighton and Sussex Medical School. In her GP work she found many women had adverse experiences of healthcare because of gender biases and lack of research into women's health - this inspired her to specialise in this area and remains the key purpose of her career. She holds diplomas in obstetrics and gynaecology (DRCOG) and sexual and reproductive healthcare (DFSRH). She is a member of the Primary Care Women's Health Society and the British Menopause Society. For the past two years she's been a delegate for the United Nations Commission on the Status of Women.
You can connect with Sally on LinkedIn.
Here is a link to the NAPS PMS guidelines
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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In this episode of The Choice Space, Dr Lee David speaks with Nic Malcomson, integrative psychotherapist, about the success trap – the pattern where strengths that once helped us thrive can gradually become rigid and exhausting.
The conversation explores how early success, positive feedback and high standards can shape identity over time. When life becomes more demanding or circumstances change, the same qualities that once worked well can begin to create pressure, self-doubt and a fear of slipping.
Lee and Nic discuss how this can show up in different ways – from ongoing over-striving and perfectionism to a deeper sense of feeling stuck after a setback. They reflect on the link between performance and self-worth, and how difficult it can be when identity becomes tied to always coping, achieving or getting things right.
The episode also explores Nic’s idea of fallible flourishing – a more compassionate and realistic way of thinking about growth, motivation and thriving. Together, they consider the value of naming the pattern, recognising the role of environment and finding space for being human rather than endlessly performing.
This is a thoughtful conversation about pressure, identity and self-worth, offering a kinder and more sustainable way to think about success.
Key moments
00:00 Why naming it matters
00:29 Introducing the success trap
01:30 Nic’s own experience
04:27 How identity develops
06:37 Burnout and breakdown
07:03 Chronic, acute and stuck patterns
11:01 Why setbacks can help
13:37 Ideal lived self and feared self
19:08 The importance of normalising
26:54 Under, over and optimal motivation
31:49 Fallibility and connection
33:18 Environment and supportive changeAbout the guest
Nic Malcomson is an integrative psychotherapist who has delivered more than 5,000 therapy sessions for doctors through NHS Practitioner Health and in his private practice, Eudemedics: Well-being for Doctors. He developed the Fallible Flourishing Model, which explores how early experiences of success can later create psychological traps around performance, identity and self-worth, and how these patterns can shift towards more sustainable flourishing.
You can connect with Nic on LinkedIn or through his website: www.eudemedics.com
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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In this episode of The Choice Space, Dr Lee David speaks with GP and menopause specialist Dr Carys Sonnenberg about the complex ways menopause can affect emotional wellbeing, physical health and everyday life.
Menopause is often described in terms of hormones alone, yet the experience is rarely that simple. In this conversation, Lee and Carys explore how hormonal changes interact with sleep, stress, lifestyle habits and wider life pressures. Many women find themselves navigating fluctuating moods, disrupted sleep and changes in concentration at the same time as managing work, family responsibilities and other demands.
The discussion highlights how menopause is highly individual. Some women experience few symptoms, while others notice significant changes in mood, anxiety or energy. Understanding these differences can help create a more compassionate and personalised approach to care.
They also explore practical ways of supporting wellbeing during this time – including the role of lifestyle medicine, cognitive behavioural strategies, nutrition and hormone treatment where appropriate. Rather than focusing on a single solution, the conversation reflects on how multiple approaches can work together to support women through the menopause transition.
This is a thoughtful conversation about complexity, choice and self-understanding during a significant stage of life.
Key moments
00:00 Emotional symptoms in menopause
02:22 Mood changes and mental health
04:01 The six pillars of lifestyle
09:10 Habits, coping and awareness
12:21 Hormones and brain chemistry
20:27 CBT approaches for menopause
28:35 Hot flushes and thoughts
32:28 Breathing and stress regulation
37:37 Nutrition and neurotransmitters
41:01 A small wellbeing choiceAbout the guest
Dr Carys Sonnenberg is an NHS GP and British Menopause Society menopause specialist. She founded Rowena Health, an online service providing holistic menopause care for women. She is trained in CBT and nutrigenomics and is co-author of Women’s Health Made Easy, due to be published in 2026. Carys is also a member of the Primary Care Women’s Health Society wider committee and contributes to education through national conferences and webinars.
You can contact her via her website, or on LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram: @drcaryssonnenberg
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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Modern family life can leave parents feeling pulled in all directions – trying to support their children, manage daily pressures and make the right decisions in a world full of advice, expectations and opinions about getting it right. In that context, the idea of being a good enough parent can feel both reassuring and like an important reset.
In this episode of The Choice Space, Dr Lee David is joined by clinical psychologist and author Dr Tara Porter to explore what good enough parenting really means, and why it matters for children’s mental health and family wellbeing.
They discuss how modern parenting has become increasingly outcome-focused, with pressure around education, activities, behaviour and getting things right. Tara reflects on how these pressures can make parenting feel like something to optimise or perfect – and how aiming for the messy middle instead can help families find more flexibility, balance and connection.
The conversation also explores relationship-based parenting, including the importance of showing up, staying present and allowing for rupture and repair. Rather than aiming to be endlessly calm or perfect, Tara highlights the value of authenticity, emotional competence and adjusting as children grow and change.
They also discuss the idea of being firm and kind – holding boundaries in a way that is guided by values rather than control. From phones and screens to everyday family life, the episode looks at how parents can stay connected while still offering structure, guidance and care.
This is a thoughtful conversation about easing pressure, focusing on what matters and finding a more compassionate, realistic way to parent.
Key moments
00:21 Good enough parenting
02:16 Where the idea comes from
03:33 Pressure, culture and modern life
06:39 The messy middle
13:13 Relationship-based parenting
19:26 Rupture and repair
29:46 Being firm and kind
32:04 Values and boundaries
36:13 Emotional competence
42:18 Lead with relationshipAbout the guest
Dr Tara Porter is a clinical psychologist and author with 28 years’ NHS experience working with children, adolescents and families, specialising in eating disorders. She now works privately in London, with a particular focus on the adolescent and young adult years. Tara has a strong interest in mental health in schools, contributing to the Anna Freud Centre’s Schools in Mind project, writing for TES and teaching in schools. She is also an Associate Tutor at UCL and the author of several books including You Don’t Understand Me and Good Enough: A Framework for Modern Parenting.
Connect with Tara via LinkedIn or Instagram @drtaraporterpsychologist
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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Spending time in the mountains can offer something rare in modern life – space to think, to feel and to see our lives from a wider perspective. For many, the outdoors provides not only challenge and adventure but also regulation, clarity and meaning.
In this episode of The Choice Space, Dr Lee David is joined by adventurer and Mind Over Mountains founder Alex Staniforth to explore how time outdoors can shape resilience, perspective and everyday choices.
They discuss how early experiences of illness, bullying and feeling different can shape self-belief, and how discovering the mountains offered Alex a sense of safety, possibility and purpose. The conversation explores how stepping beyond familiar limits – outdoors or in daily life – can build confidence and coping capacity.
The episode reflects on Alex’s experiences on Everest and the lasting impact of the Nepal earthquake, including making sense of trauma and finding meaning through helping others. Rather than viewing resilience as toughness alone, the discussion highlights values, connection and self-compassion in sustaining wellbeing.
They also explore nature’s role in mental health – widening perspective, supporting presence and creating opportunities for connection. Alex shares how this led to Mind Over Mountains, combining outdoor activity with psychological support to help people build lasting tools for wellbeing.
This is a grounded conversation about finding strength through challenge, living in line with what matters and using small, intentional choices to support resilience and wellbeing.
Key moments
00:33 Challenge, perspective and resilience
03:18 Early experiences and self-belief
07:29 Finding safety and possibility in the mountains
11:50 Values, purpose and challenge
15:15 Connection, solitude and restoring energy
20:14 Creating space through the outdoors
23:07 Everest, survival and the Nepal earthquake
27:12 Trauma, meaning and long-term recovery
35:59 Nature as therapy and Mind Over Mountains
39:14 Nature's impact on wellbeing and connection
42:14 Supporting mental health with time outdoorsAbout the guest
Alex Staniforth is a record-breaking adventurer, ultra-runner, speaker and founder of the mental health charity Mind Over Mountains. By 19, he had survived two Mount Everest disasters, and has lived with epilepsy, mental ill health, a stammer and bullying since childhood. He is the fastest person to climb all 446 mountains in England and Wales under human power and is the author of Icefall and Another Peak.
Connect with Alex:
Website, Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram @alexstaniforth_
Mind Over Mountains
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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In a world of constant notifications and competing demands on our attention, many of us feel too busy to read. Yet books and stories offer something increasingly rare – a quiet, immersive space where we can reflect, feel and make sense of our experiences.
In this episode of The Choice Space, Dr Lee David is joined by Dr Charley Baker, Associate Professor of mental health at the University of Nottingham, to explore how literature helps us understand psychological distress, identity and experiences that do not fit neatly into clinical language.
They discuss reading as an active process that can restore energy, broaden perspective and deepen empathy. Stories allow us to encounter complex emotions, stigma and trauma from the inside, in a space that feels safer and more intimate than other media.
The conversation explores how literature can help us find language for difficult experiences, challenge preconceptions and strengthen connection – with others and ourselves. They reflect on the role of fiction in clinical understanding, the value of poetry and shorter forms when concentration is low, and how sharing books can become an act of care that strengthens relationships.
Rather than presenting reading as something we should do, this episode invites a gentler approach – noticing what draws us in, allowing ourselves to stop when a book does not connect, and recognising that stories can meet different needs at different times.
This is a grounded conversation about how literature can support understanding, connection and emotional wellbeing.
Key moments
00:57 Why reading offers a different kind of space in a fast-paced world
02:18 Charley’s journey into literature, mental health and the health humanities
04:18 How stories build empathy and broaden perspective
06:03 Immersion, representation and feeling understood through fiction
10:58 Literature and understanding self-harm
15:11 Finding language for trauma and complex experiences
17:19 Choice Pause – opening space for creativity and curiosity
19:57 Reading as nourishment and active recharge
23:32 Sharing books as connection and enacted kindness
31:07 Listening to our needs and finding our own relationship with reading
33:48 Audiobooks and new ways of accessing stories
39:44 Permission to stop reading what doesn’t connectAbout the guest
Dr Charley Baker is an associate professor of mental health at the University of Nottingham. Her work explores literature, mental health and the health humanities, focusing on how stories support understanding of distress and lived experience. Her clinical interests include domestic abuse, violence against women and girls, self-harm, suicide and OCD, and how narrative approaches can support people experiencing distress.
Instagram: @CharleyBakerTheBookPusher
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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For many people, the word selfish is linked with guilt and a sense of having done something wrong. It’s often understood as putting yourself first at the expense of others, which can lead to a habit of placing your own needs last.
In this episode of The Choice Space, Dr Lee David is joined by Suzy Reading, psychologist and author of How to Be Selfish, to offer a different perspective. Suzy reframes selfishness as allowing your needs, feelings and limits to matter, rather than being overridden by everyone else’s.
Together, they explore why many caring people label themselves as selfish for resting, setting boundaries, expressing emotions or asking for support. Guilt is examined as a signal of values and care, not proof that something is wrong, and how quickly self-criticism can take hold when expectations feel relentless.
They discuss how selflessness is often learned early, shaped by family roles, cultural messages and ideas about being “good”, particularly for women and parents. Lee and Suzy reflect on how neglecting our needs can lead to exhaustion and burnout, and why attending to ourselves supports healthier relationships.
The episode also explores boundaries as practical ways of taking responsibility for wellbeing. Suzy shares simple tools drawn from psychology, movement and nervous system regulation, alongside a Choice Pause to help listeners check in during moments of pressure.
This is a reflective conversation about developing a kinder relationship with yourself and letting go of the idea that worth is earned through self-sacrifice.
Key moments
00:00 Why selfishness is associated with guilt
04:09 Reframing selfishness as allowing your needs to matter
05:27 Selflessness, identity and putting yourself last
07:09 Guilt as a signal of care and values
09:32 Depletion, exhaustion and burnout
11:43 Where fear of selfishness comes from
13:24 Parenting and modelling emotional honesty
16:06 What boundaries are and how they work
18:38 Requests, agreements and responsibility
26:06 A simple grounding practice
31:49 Noticing nourishment and awe
37:27 Kind self-talkAbout the guest
Suzy Reading is a chartered psychologist and self-care and self-advocacy expert with three decades of experience across psychology, yoga and personal training. She supports people to develop sustainable habits and heal their relationship with self. Suzy is the author of The Little Book of Self-Care, The Self-Care Revolution, Self-Care for Tough Times and her latest book, How to Be Selfish.
You can connect with Suzy on LinkedIn and Instagram - @suzyreading
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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Concerns about our bodies are common and part of being human. For some people, they remain occasional worries. For others, they begin to take up more attention, influence mood and shape everyday choices about food, movement, relationships and confidence.
In this episode of The Choice Space, Dr Lee David is joined by Joanna Silver, a psychologist specialising in eating disorders and body image difficulties, to explore why appearance-related distress can become so persistent – and what can genuinely help.
They discuss body image as something that exists on a continuum, from everyday dissatisfaction to more intense distress that narrows attention and reduces quality of life. Joanna explains how self-worth can become overly linked to weight or shape, why comparison often increases distress, and how cultural messages, family language and social media all shape how we relate to our bodies.
Rather than framing body image as something to fix or eliminate, the conversation approaches it as a relationship – one that can soften and become more balanced over time. They explore why change is rarely linear, how shame thrives when concerns stay hidden, and why curiosity and kindness are often more helpful than self-criticism.
The episode also includes a Choice Pause – a short, guided moment to help create space from comparison and reconnect with what matters in the present moment.
This is a compassionate, practical discussion about understanding body image distress and finding steadier ways to care for our bodies, even on difficult days.
Key moments
00:39 Why body image concerns are common and when they become more distressing
03:50 When self-worth becomes tied to appearance
07:12 How family, culture and language shape body image
09:16 Comparison, social media and increased distress
11:26 Signs body image concerns may be affecting daily life
15:27 Shame, secrecy and the value of talking
19:31 The Choice Pause creating space from comparison
22:04 Relating to body image as a relationship
28:47 Shifting focus from appearance to function
35:15 Body distress as a signal
40:34 Small steps towards a kinder relationship with the bodyAbout the Guest
Joanna Silver is a Counselling Psychologist who specialises in working with people affected by Eating Disorders, Body Dysmorphic Disorder and body image problems. She works as the Lead Psychological Therapist at Orri, a treatment centre for people with Eating Disorders. I am passionate about bringing compassionate, evidence-based conversations about mental health and body image into the public space.
You can connect with Joanna via Linked in
Beat eating disorders charity
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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There’s something quietly powerful about singing alongside other people. Music is known to support emotional wellbeing, and singing in a group brings breath, sound and attention together in a shared space. Shared voices and shared rhythm can create a sense of connection and ease, even when life feels busy or full.
In this episode, Dr Lee David speaks with Glen Harvey – musician and long-standing choir leader with Rock Choir – about what he has observed over many years of bringing people together to sing, and why community choirs often become meaningful spaces for wellbeing and connection.
They explore how singing supports both body and mind through breath, posture and movement, and how it can help people feel more present and settled without needing to analyse or fix anything. Glen shares why people from very different backgrounds are drawn to choir, and how a sense of belonging often develops naturally when the focus is on the shared experience rather than performance.
The conversation also touches on the thoughts that can sometimes hold people back, such as self-criticism or worry about getting things wrong, and how community singing gently shifts attention away from judgement and towards being in the moment together.
Highlights & Key Moments
00:00 Singing as a shared experience
02:08 Glen’s journey into choir leading
03:49 Why singing together feels different from singing alone
05:16 Stress, breath and the physical effects of singing
08:04 Posture, breathing and confidence
10:22 Thoughts that can hold people back from singing
13:10 Letting go of perfection in performance
18:40 The Choice Pause – settling with sound
22:13 Attention, anxiety and staying present
26:03 Music as a way of quietening a busy mind
27:00 Why people come to choir
29:37 Inclusivity, kindness and feeling safe in groups
33:21 A simple music-based takeawayAbout the Guest
Glen Harvey is a versatile musician and choir leader with advanced skills as a vocalist, pianist and guitarist. He trained at the Academy of Contemporary Music and first became known as a semi-finalist on Pop Idol in 2003. He's been leading Rock Choirs for over 16 years, spreading harmonies and laughter across Hampshire, Berkshire, Northern Ireland and soon the Republic of Ireland.
A master of turning strangers into friends and choirs into families, he’s sung everywhere from Abbey Road to Wembley, for audiences of up to 20,000 people, from royalty to George Clooney. At home in Farnham with his wife Lisa and their three children, Glen swaps his microphone for gardening gloves, gym gear or a dinner menu. Whether on stage or in the garden, he’s all about growing joy – one song, one laugh, one memory at a time.
Connect with Glen: Instagram @glenharveymusic
Find out more about Rock Choir via their website
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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Shame is rarely spoken about openly, yet it quietly shapes how many people see themselves and relate to others. It can affect how safe we feel, whether we believe we belong and how harshly we judge ourselves. For many people, shame grows from repeated experiences of feeling different, criticised or not quite fitting in.
In this episode, Dr Lee David speaks with Simon Lyne – CBT therapist with specialist experience in shame, identity, sexuality and trauma – about how shame develops, why it can feel overwhelming and how it becomes closely tied to our sense of self.
They explore shame as a deeply human response linked to our need for connection and acceptance, often shaped early in life through family relationships, school experiences and social messages. Simon describes how shame differs from guilt and how it can drive patterns such as perfectionism, people-pleasing, withdrawal or anger as ways of coping.
The conversation also looks at the cumulative impact of repeated comments, assumptions and experiences of exclusion, particularly for LGBTQIA+ individuals and others from marginalised groups, and why this makes shame harder to shift through individual effort alone.
Alongside this, Lee and Simon discuss how compassion – from others and towards ourselves – can help dismantle shame, supporting values-led choices, connection and resilience.
This is a grounded conversation about naming shame gently, finding safe relationships and creating room for self-acceptance in everyday life.
Key moments
00:00 Shame, identity and belonging
03:08 What shame is and why it runs so deep
06:14 Shame and the sense of being fundamentally wrong
09:50 How shame shapes behaviour in adult life
11:23 Why shame thrives in secrecy
14:09 The impact of repeated exclusion and micro-messages
15:31 Compassion as a way of softening shame
18:39 Choice Pause – a moment of self-kindness
28:57 Guilt versus shame and self-blame
37:46 Choice Space Takeaway – small steps towards kindness and connectionAbout the guest
Simon Lyne is an accredited CBT therapist, psychosexual psychotherapist, and published author practising within the NHS and private practice. His specialised areas include shame, sexuality, working with queer communities, and relational trauma. He combines CBT with EMDR and compassion-based approaches, offering nuanced, client-centred support.
https://simon-lyne.squarespace.com/
About the host
Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here: https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david
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