Episodes
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Welcome to the Garden of the Glorious Future Podcast! The only podcast which seeks divine glory from Jupiter through staunch adherence to classical Roman virtues! Co-consuls James and Jared continue their exploration of the histories of Emperor Claudius, after checking in on the status of our glorious military campaigns in the east and discussing the many trials of Tribune of the Plebs, Donald Maximus Trump. Then we learn more about the incestuous origins of the Julio-Claudian dynasty.
Sources:
Graves, Robert. 1934. "I, Claudius". The Modern Library. Book.
Al Jazeera and News Agencies. 1 April 2023. "Russia protests over ‘provocative actions’ by US forces in Syria". Al Jazeera. News Report. https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2023/4/1/russia-protests-over-provocative-actions-by-us-forces-in-syria
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Continuing the story of Rome, Claudius, and his wonderful family, hosts James and Jared examine the roots of American Exceptionalism via the ancient world.
Also, sorry, we got jobs :_( but you can still find our patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=10729973
Sources:
Graves, Robert. 1934. "I, Claudius". The Modern Library. Book.
Jones, Kristin. 25 March 2023. "Colorado emerges as a refuge for transgender children and their families". The Colorado Sun. Web Article: https://coloradosun.com/2023/03/25/transgender-children-colorado-health-safety/
Savage, Luke. 15 March 2023. "Democrats in Michigan Are Showing National Democrats How to Actually Wield Power". Web Article: https://jacobin.com/2023/03/michigan-democrats-republicans-right-to-work-lgbtq-gun-control
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Missing episodes?
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Hosts Jared and James mine the public archive for compostable books of literary merit. Join us as we shred this dry-brown material for our hungry compost piles.
Source:
Graves, Robert. 1934. "I, Claudius". The Modern Library. Book.
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James and Jared poke their pitchforks into the very firmament of reality on this episode of Compost Bin of History. Seeking to uncover the "why" of physical existence, James delves into quantum mechanics and tries to get his explanation past the least credulous person east of the Missouri, Jared. We explore the philosophical implications of the universe's ontology, the "big bang" itself, and some of the physical evidence for it. Examining the work of recent Noble Laureate Roger Penrose, we find evidence for a compost cosmology, and, in-line with our recent vein of esotericism, validate ancient myths.
Lo, the pile shall be ever turned!
Sources:
Wilson, Alastair. "How could the Big Bang arise from nothing?" 3 January 2022. The Conversation. Online. https://theconversation.com/how-could-the-big-bang-arise-from-nothing-171986
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Hosts Jared and James check in with their chief source of compostables, Alan Guebert, of the Farm and Food File. You’ll remember Guebert from our first episode, “Big Meat Made It’s Pitch”, and his takes continue to be that of the safest of centrist liberals. This time, we read Guebert’s meta-analysis of the phenomenon of neoliberalism and it’s profound impact on agriculture. Unfortunately, his contribution is only half composted, and needs some significant pitchforking by yours truly. We discuss: What is a neoliberal, anyway? How does this ideology help us understand the political developments of the last 50 years? And if it is failing, why does this boot remain on my neck?
Check out our cool patreon page!
patreon.com/user?u=10729973
Sources:
brk861. “Thatcher: There is no such thing as public money”. 1983. Posted 28 July 2009. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvz8tg4MVpA
Chait, Jonathan. “Drudge Tape Exposes Young Obama As Neoliberal”. 18 September 2012. New York Magazine; Intelligencer. https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2012/09/drudge-tape-exposes-young-obama-as-neoliberal.html
Clinton/Gore ‘92 Committee. “Bill Clinton in 1992 ad: 'A plan to end welfare as we know it'”. 1992. Posted 30 August 2016. https://www.washingtonpost.com/video/politics/bill-clinton-in-1992-ad-a-plan-to-end-welfare-as-we-know-it/2016/08/30/9e6350f8-6ee0-11e6-993f-73c693a89820_video.html
Guebert, Alan. “You’re a Neoliberal, I’m a Neoliberal, We’re all Neoliberals–For Now”. 6 January 2023. The Farm and Food File. https://www.farmandfoodfile.com/2023/01/06/youre-a-neoliberal-im-a-neoliberal-were-all-neoliberals-for-now/
Mangan, Dan. “Nestle and Cargill win child slavery case at Supreme Court”. 17 June 2021. CNBC. https://www.cnbc.com/2021/06/17/supreme-court-rules-in-favor-of-nestle-in-child-slavery-case.html
Tgrane. “President George H.W. Bush signs NAFTA”. 17 December 1992. Posted 26 September 2017. CSPAN. https://www.c-span.org/video/?c4683504/president-george-hw-bush-signs-nafta
Trump, Donald. “USMCA: President Trump announces NAFTA replacement (FNN)”. 1 October 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AukkG613y-E
Vice News. “‘I Don’t Feel Safe’: Ohio’s Derailed Train Left a Cloud of Distrust”. 24 February 2023. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifPxwQOqnkY
Wallace, George. “Inaugural Address”. 14 January 1963. Wyzant. https://www.wyzant.com/resources/lessons/history/hpol/wallace/segregation/
Yahoo! Finance. “House Speaker Pelosi on whether members of Congress should be allowed to trade individual stocks”. 20 December 2021. YouTube Shorts. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/YqDU7t-kA7U
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Argh, ye feline free-booters, ye viking rat-slayers, ye most god forsaken of grumpycats, this be the podcast for you!
Hosts James and Jared examine the history of the ship's cat, dovetailing between divine grace and evolutionary biology. They track the spread of the domestic cat (Felis catus L.) as it evolved from the African wild cat (Felis lybica Forster) and was quickly adopted as an important ally in the burgeoning maritime trades. Why is this animal, shrouded in superstition, perfect for sailors? Learn how the polydactyl gene makes magical creatures into practical demigods. Then, famous ship's cats! Check out the PATRIOT HERO cats of WWII, turncoat cats, and cat-omens!
If a cat abandons your boat?!?! bruh.
It's the pat-reon - $1/lunar cycle - it's really not that much!
patreon.com/user?u=10729973
Poor Brotherhood of Composters
This one is for Grimer!
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Notorious Cactus Pirates, Jared and James, go periodical on the fanciest element, Gold!
In the first episode of this new series we review atomic theory, the immortal science of alchemy, and the properties of the most coveted element on the crust of this-here earth. Also: star farts, the deposition and distribution of gold, how it’s gathered and extracted, and why having lots of it basically makes you god. Curious themes already emerging in this series: slavery and exploitation, violence towards women, and being terrible to your family. I’m sure a better podcast would synthesize these together with a commentary on capitalism, its necessity of an exploited ‘other’, and the commodification of human relationships, all in a very compost-y way, but don’t worry folks, we’ll get there!
Our Patreon: patreon.com/user?u=10729973
Sources:
AvengedS939 - The James Bond Network. “Goldfinger - James Bond & Pussy Galore Barn Scene HD”. YouTube. 3 Dec. 2011. Web. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pUXH1Bye88&t=1s
Bernstein, Peter L. “The Power of Gold: The History of an Obsession”. John Wiley and Sons, Inc. New York, NY. 2000. Book.
Bower, Bruce. “Golden Fleece myth was based on real events, geologists contend”. Science News. 25 Nov. 2014. Web. https://www.sciencenews.org/article/golden-fleece-myth-was-based-real-events-geologists-contend
Wikipedia contributors. "Gold." Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, 24 Jan. 2023. Web. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gold
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Picking up where we left off - we follow a broke, bored, and ambitious young man as he explores the enticing world of speculative assets. Spanish land claims become the NFTs of 1821 Louisiana, and Jim Bowie coordinates one of the most spectacular rug pulls in history. A man who loves to start fights comes up against the bureaucratic might of the young nation's registrars and repeatedly steps in it. Political polarization poses both threats and opportunities for those with loose morals and a willingness to collapse the contradictions of the frontier within themselves, and manifest destiny springs forth from effective altruism.
Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/user?u=10729973
Sources:
Christofaro, Beatrice. (13 Oct 2022) Destruction of the Amazon: What you need to know. [News Report]. Deutsche Welle. https://www.dw.com/en/amazon-fire-deforestation-carbon-capture-carbon-sink-emissions-logging-bolsonaro/a-63428244
Davis, William C. (1998) Three Roads to the Alamo. [Book]. Harper Collins.
Paul, Logan. [Logan Paul]. (05 Jan 2023) My Response To Coffeezilla's Scam Allegations. [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1buyQRWw8M
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New Episodes Coming Soon!
Find us on Patreon: patreon.com/user?u=10729973
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Compost Bin of History is roaring back with a historical reading series! Workin’ guys James and Jared prod the underbelly of the ruling class by reading about the shenanigans of Peter Paul Montgomery Buttigieg and his zany former employer, McKinsey & Company, in “An Army of Pete Buttigiegs”, by Nicole Aschoff.
Mayor Pete is the current Secretary of Transportation and noteworthy loser/winner of the 2020 Iowa Caucus. His management expertise and ambition for public service have made him a valued “asset” to many a “company” over his short career. Foremost among them, McKinsey & Co have pioneered the use of data translation and analytic technology to streamline shareholder revenue for the most trusted names in the Corporate World, from Enron to Best Buy, and have advised political actors from Eisenhower to MBS. Learn why this network of powerful business elites, this shadowy political faction – a cabal, if you will – is actually just really good at doing business stuff and worthy of your undying support.
But you’re probably too dumb to understand anyway, because you didn’t go to Harvard.
Sources:
Aschoff, Nicole. “An Army of Pete Buttigiegs”. Jacobin Magazine. No 41, pp 41-48. 27 April 2021.
https://jacobinmag.com/2021/04/an-army-of-pete-buttigiegs
Gaviola, Anne. “Canadians Are Convinced Mayor Pete Helped Fix Bread Prices” Vice News Online. 10 December 2019.
https://www.vice.com/en/article/epgggz/canadians-are-convinced-mayor-pete-buttigieg-helped-fix-bread-prices
Unknown author. “New York Times Reporter Accuses Pete Buttigieg of Fixing Bread Prices. Air.TV. 19 January 2020.
https://www.air.tv/watch?v=5QCE84TiRmCVm0irKxswug
Wikipedia contributors. "Pete Buttigieg." Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, 17 Jun. 2021. Web. 22 Jun. 2021.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pete_Buttigieg
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In this much anticipated episode we begin our examination of Jim Bowie – son of three countries and leading figure in the conflict at the Alamo.
From their roots in the Royal Court of Scotland to the revolutionary United States, the Bowies stood out from their contemporaries as iconoclasts and opportunists. We dig deeper into the time-honored American tradition of squatting, and its evolution into the equally relevant tradition of land speculation. Learn how generations of Bowie’s “improved” said land, earning massive grants of capital for the sweat off their brows, and considerably less for the sweat off those 4-8 people who were forced into working for them. Finally, when the U.S. Congress prohibits the import of slaves, we see what roguish schemes a couple of good ol’ boys who are looking to make some easy money come up with.
OUTLAW COUNTRY!!!
Sources:
Davis, William C. [Jeff to his friends]. (1998) Three Roads to the Alamo. [Book]. Harper Collins.
St. Jean, Keith. [Canadian Permaculture Legacy]. (26 April 2021). Grass to Food Forest - Part 2: Lets jump into dumpsters, shall we? Dumpster diving for trees, [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/mlBUsYzZzbc
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Wherein we continue our Alamo series, first by introducing a new resource, and then by examining one Davey Crockett, a celebrity and otherwise totally normal person. We then synthesize a broader view on the violent pathologies of America by holding the events of the past up to those of the present in a very compost-y way. This is a good episode, but you probably shouldn’t tell the people back home about the potatoes.
Sources:
Davis, Willam C. (Jeff to his friends). “Three Roads to the Alamo”. Harper Collins. 1998
Davis, William C. (Jeff to his friends). Interviewed by Frank Williams: “Lately at the Library”. Mississippi State University Libraries. 30 June 2020. https://youtu.be/FB1X1ueFoak?t=1698
Sanchez, R., Murphy, P., Ellis, B., Vera, A. “Here's what we know about the Boulder, Colorado, mass shooting suspect”. CNN. 24 March 2021. https://www.cnn.com/2021/03/23/us/boulder-colorado-shooting-suspect/index.html
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Join Garden Variety Perverts as we tour the anarchist’s garden and learn about common plants with defensive and deadly properties!
Notoriously pious hosts James and Jared introduce you to the natural history and chemical properties of: stinging nettle (Urtica dioica L.), morning glory (Ipomoea purpurea [L.] Roth), foxglove (Digitalis purpurea L.), death camas (Toxicoscordion venenosum [S.Watson] Rydb.), poison hemlock (Conium maculatum L.), water hemlock (Cicuta maculata L.), lily of the valley (Convallaria majalis L.), castor bean (Ricinus communis L.), and the Big Bad itself – motherflippin’ poison ivy (Toxicodendron radicans [L.] Kuntze).
Enjoy the fine aromas of compost as we mix botany's heritage of Enlightenment-era racism and ancient Greek pederasty with modern medicine and organic chemistry. Has your boss been described as “effective, but harsh”? This is the podcast for you!
WARNING: Podcasts are an audial medium and plant identification depends on visual stimulus. Do not rely on this or any other podcast to identify plants, especially those which may be toxic. Neither Compost Bin of History nor Garden Variety Perverts condone plant-based violence. CTFO.
Links to sources:
Ioannidis JPA (2005) Why Most Published Research Findings Are False. PLoS Med 2(8): e124. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.0020124
Editors of Erowid (????) Everything on Erowid cause it’s great. https://erowid.org/splash.php
Caselli, Irene (2010) Ecuador's indigenous justice system on trial. BBC. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-10683003
Garms, Gabe (2015) How to Tell the Difference Between Poison Hemlock and Queen Anne's Lace. Raven’s Roots Naturalist School. http://ravensroots.org/blog/2015/6/26/poison-hemlock-id
Lindquist, Karen (2020) How to Identify Water Hemlock. WikiHow. https://www.wikihow.com/Identify-Water-Hemlock
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We begin our examination of the Bloody Battles that led up to the eponymous conflict, starting with the Battle of Medina (1813). This clash between the Gutierrez-Magee filibustering expedition and the Spanish loyalist army would prove to be the bloodiest battle fought on Texas soil (so far) with over 1300 dead.
Also in this episode, both the American "War of 1812" and the Mexican War of Independence are contextualized within the broader events of the Napoleonic Wars, laying the groundwork for future conflict in southwestern North America. We likewise review the time-honored practice of fillibustering, and indulge ourselves in some conspiracy-theory history. Then, we touch-base with young Santa Anna, and see how school is going for our favorite up-and-comer.
Thanks for listening to this "capital-H" History-packed episode, with a dressing of chilled vibes.
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Special guest TickMan joins the composters as they sink their mouth-parts into the global phenomenon that is Lime Disease.
Also known as "The Great Imitator", Lime Disease comprises a host of different symptoms which affect millions of people and lead to billions of dollars in lost economic productivity. Join us as we uncover the murky origins of this disease with a real professional expert. You'll also get practical tips for Lime Disease prevention, treatment, and mitigation in this episode.
Then, it's 'Compost Bin of History; After Dark', as the lads shoot-through some general interest topics with their guest, including:
- the Covid19 NFL/NCAA football seasons;
- the cultural heritage of New Spain, de un autentico Neomexicano; and
- the many reasons James and Jared are prone to diabetes.
Thanks for listening!
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In the second part of our series on the Battle of the Alamo, we look at some of the plants and peoples of New Spain.
Colonization brought both the cultures and species of the Old World crashing into the New, with many surprising consequences. In this episode we examine the role of African slavery in the development New Spain, and how it differed from their neighbors in the Thirteen Colonies. Also; how did the subtleties of European religious warfare influence the development of North America? And; why the hell was the Mission of San Antonio called "the Alamo Mission"? For that matter; what kind of church requires artillery and basic fortifications? Find out here!
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In our first ever Historical Reading Series, hosts James and Jared perform séance to summon the spirit of communist leader Leon Trotsky, and offer him their precious virginal souls in exchange for his takes on the phenomenon of National Socialism. Trotsky artfully breaks down the dynamics of racism, capitalism, and demagoguery that combined behind Hitler's movement, and offers some cutting insights which remain relevant today.
Links to sources:
Trotsky, Leon. 1933. "What Is National Socialism?" Originally published in The Modern Thinker. https://www.marxists.org/archive/trotsky/germany/1933/330610.htm
In the interest of fairness in media, we were asked to also post this rebuttal by the Honorable Reich Chancellor of South Dakota:
Noem, Kristi. 2021. "The Republican Party Has Failed America, And Here's How It Needs To Change Now". The Federalist. https://thefederalist.com/2021/01/08/the-republican-party-has-failed-america/
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They didn't name it after Carl.
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Compost Special Report!
Jared and James pick-up the Iron Pitchfork of Class Analysis and turn-over the recent events in Washington D. C., comparing them to those of the Beer Hall Putsch in Weimar Germany (1923). Enjoy some Carlin-esque immersive history as we take you to Munich's Burgerbraukeller that eventful night. What lessons do these events hold for those who would hope to build a brighter future? Who the f_ck knows.
Sources:
Ullrich, Volker. Hitler - Ascent: 1889-1939. Translated by Jefferson Chase. Alfred K. Knopf, New York. 2016.
Dobbs, Michael. "Trump's spell seems to have broken". Opinion for Washington Post. 8 January 2021.
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To begin our series on the Battle of the Alamo, Jared and James uncover the rotten economics of colonialism in New Spain, exploring its incestuous roots in European aristocracy, racial hierarchies, and systems of trade and exploitation. We are also introduced to our first major player in the Alamo conflict itself, Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna. The son of a merchant and an ever-rising political star, he bears some comparison to other well-known American political figures.
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