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To paraphrase 80s ragamuffin Ferris Bueller “here’s where Dan goes berserk”. Weird for him to take a break from mischief making to boldly predict the first half hour of a Scottish football podcast several decades in the future, but there we are. Anyway, if you can make it through that, we promise it gets better, so pull up a pew and join your old pals for Episode 95 of The Dogger Saints Podcast!
Yep, we had to talk football. With four mens games to cover, and a look at some of the more contentious elements of the past few weeks, including Levein-ball, the skipper and VA-fucking-R.
However, on a happier note, we get to cover a couple of wins for the women’s team, covering fine performances against Livingston and Gartcairn, and even have a wee catch-up with *checks notes* centre-forward Nicole Carter.
We know what you’re all after though. Features, baby! Features by the damn barrel load! We’ve got them all, including a visit to everyone’s favourite talking shop in The Good, The Bad and The Banto, before the Banto comes up trumps in this week’s visit to see George in The Royal. We also head over to the home of this year’s Euros for a both puzzling and delicious instalment of the Club Shop of Shame, and we have a stylish instalment of Theme Team for your listening pleasure.
Buff Sam Miller! House Salesman Danny Williams! Punk Ass Bitch Tommy Lovenkrands! We’ve got it all and much more, including some fond farewells and a load of other shit, so settle down and enjoy yourselves. Get there!
This episode is not sponsored by the fine fine people at Possible estate agents. -
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“My mama said Saints is like a box of chocolates…you never know what you’re gonna get.” Not our words, friends, the words of running enthusiast, simpleton and utter doormat Forrest Gump. However, you know where you do know what you’re getting? The Dogger Saints Podcast - you’re getting capers, you’re getting your old pals Sam and Dan, and you’re getting them right here in our big post-winter break Episode 94!
Death. Taxes. Saints getting potted out of a cup competition by some lower league mob. On reflection, Saturday was inevitable, but we better go over it anyway, and assess what went wrong and where Saints can put it right for the rest of the league season. If you’re after some light relief from the women’s team you’re shit out of luck, but we do look at some of the January comings and goings, as the team looks to climb up the table, now under the sole charge of Kev ‘Candyman’ Candy.
You want some good times? We’ll give you all the good times, with a bucketload of features. Get your passports out as the old favourite’s return, as we slip on a pair of clogs for this week’s Club Shop of Shame, and we jet off with George for some winter sun in this weeks O’Boyle in the Royal. Dan pays an ode to the City of Discovery in the latest instalment of poetry corner, and we bring in two new features in the shape of ‘Unluckiest Saints Fan’ and our latest brain teaser ‘Littler or Hitler?’
For the first time since we held two cups, we are able to welcome a men’s first team player to the podcast, as we are delighted to be joined by Saints’s rock at the back, Ryan McGowan, to discuss Macca, globetrotting, Aussie Rules, getting Chicken Pox at the age of 34, and much more. A smashing guy and a great chat, you don’t wanna miss this.
We’re also delighted to be joined by a second guest, Aberdeen fan and podcast mainstay Erin Grieve, for a right old laugh discussing the Dandies, Steak and Chrizo pastry delights, and looking ahead to Wednesday night’s clash at McDiarmid.
Sam Miller vs Dalkeith! Danny Williams vs Motherwell! Increasingly poor impersonations of Tom Hanks! We’ve got it all, and much more, so get comfy and join your old pals for a right old chuckle. Get there! -
To paraphrase Boy George in a potentially racially insensitive 1980’s charity record “throw your arms around the Saints, it’s Levein Time!” The Saints are on the rise, Santa’s on his way, and we’re all going to be living it large as we rattle off four away wins on the spin over the festive season. So why not get yourselves right into the spirit of things, by settling down for Episode 93 of The Dogger Saints Podcast!
Many a game of kickball to cover since we last did this nonsense, with 5 (FIVE) games to cover from Levein’s Champagne Football Merchants, starting with the defeats against Hearts and Celtic, before the resurgent Saints struck back in style against St. Mirren, Motherwell and Hibs. We also have a look ahead to the January transfer window, and look at the impact of 16 year old wonderboy Fran Franczak.
We also have a look at the slightly more mixed fortunes of the Saints Women’s team, as we cover their four recent games against Livi, Glasgow Women, Gartcairn and Boroughmuir Thistle, and at various points kindly catch up with gaffers Kev Candy and Jamie Reynolds, and players Bex Robertson, Ellie May Cowie and Steffi Simson.
Man that is a lot of Champagne Football, but we know what you’re really here for - features baby! We take a trip to see our old pal George, as the Dogger Saints Podcast’s own Sam Miller provides two options, both of which face disqualification. However we also give our mental health a kicking by taking another trip to the Banto, Dan unveils his Christmas song, and we have a very special Big Fat Saints Quiz of the Year for all to join in with!
We have our first interview for a while, but boy is it a good one, as we’re joined by Saints Chief Executive and all round top fellow Stan Harris - who kindly gifted us his first interview in the role, only for us to lose the first five minutes. However, once resolved we have a tremendous chat covering all things surrounding Saints, Levein, offending pop megastars, and bingo attending budgies. You absolutely do not want to miss this.
Sam Miller tells a festive nonce joke! Danny Williams struggles to talk to girls! A waffle soften sleigh! We’ve got all this, and much more, so get yourselves comfy, grab a mince pie and come join us for a real Christmas Cracker of an episode. A very merry Christmas to one and all, from your two favourite wankstains. Get there! -
Hello? How are you? Not our words, friends, the words of popular light entertainer Holly Willoughby. It has been a wile though, and we’re glad to be joining you again. So gather round, and join your old pals Sam and Dan for The Dogger Saints Podcast Episode 92: Electric Boogaloo!
A lot can happen when you don’t do a podcast for three weeks, so in what could be considered an unusual move for this podcast, we discuss football and St. Johnstone at great length.
In one Blue Corner we discuss Levein, Macca, Killie, Motherwell, County and Alec Cleland’s ragtag bunch of good time merchants. In the other Blue Corner we discuss sub-par training sessions, quiz capers, Queens Park, Boroughmuir Thistle and Livingston. It’s all all going off, from all angles!
We’ve not forgotten what you’re all here for…features galore, baby! We take George to visit three Saintees enjoying a sensual freezer treat, Dan pays ode to new gaffer in his poetry corner, the Banto does just enough to survive another airing, and we set out our stall for a real soapy Theme Team.
Four shades of Levein with Danny Williams! Mathematics with Sam Miller! Incest! We’ve got it all, and much more, including a look forward to Saturday’s trip to Tynecastle. So get yourselves settled in and have a damn good time. Get there! -
In almost the words of The Walker Brothers, breaking up with legendary former players is very hard to do. Yep, it’s been another perfectly normal week at a perfectly normal football club, so what better way to round it all off than by two perfectly normal guys discussing it all? So take it easy on yourself, and join your old pals Sam and Dan for Episode 91 of The Dogger Saints Podcast!
Yes, we’re back at the managerial well, so after saying an ultimately fond farewell to Macca and Liam, we go through all the runners and riders to take the McDiarmid hot seat. Davie Martindale and his incredibly short arse? Robbie Neilson and his formerly lovely hair? Mark McGhee and his house of chuckles? We give you the full run down.
We also take a look at the free scoring Fair Maids, as we review their stunning up turn in form with comprehensive victories over Kilmarnock and Stirling, and catch up with a raft of players and gaffer Jamie Reynolds to get their views as they match up the SWPL2 table.
It’s been a heavy few weeks in Perth, but you know what’ll lighten the mood? Features, baby! And features by the bucket load! We take a trip to the Highlands with George, catch up on the latest Banto drama, and go to our favourite decade for a truly world class instalment of Theme Team.
We do not discuss the St. Mirren game, because who knows their right mind would want to do that, but we do take a look to the future as Alec Cleland’s Sexy Perth Soccer Hurricane take on Killie on Wednesday night, and then probably someone else’s Sexy Perth Soccer Hurricane welcome Motherwell and Ross County to Perth for two pivotal clashes through the month.
Sam Miller vs McDonalds! Danny Williams vs Three Year Contracts! Sam Miller and Danny Williams fully on board with Wycliff Jean! We’ve got it all, and we’d love for you to join us. Get there! -
‘Win, Lose or Draw’ was a 90s television game show with the emphasis on drawing, hosted by a plethora of cheeky cockney chappy’s including Danny Baker, Bob Mills, and Shane Ritchie. You know who are also fond of drawing? St. Johnstone. You know who are also in the 90s? Your old pals Sam and Dan, so come join us for - somehow - Episode 90 of your all time favourite nonsense, The Dogger Saints Podcast!
You want a football podcast that talks football? Then you’re shit out of luck, because we dive right into features this week with The Good, The Bad and The Banto seeing some truly outstanding Banto. We are truly blessed with the presence of loveliness and greatness in this weeks trip to The Royal, the club shop of shame jumps the shark, you lot do it again in this weeks Theme Team.
Not only we pay a second visit to Dan’s Poetry Corner to pay tribute to the loss of a true club mainstay, and introduce our new feature ‘Florida Man’.
We do actually eventually get round to having a chat about football, as we discuss Saints’ draws against Livingston and Aberdeen, and question how we might be able to actually score some goals in the future. We also review the Perth Princesses’ cup defeat to Glasgow City, and look forward to Kilmarnock’s visit to North Muirton this weekend.
Sam Miller on Saville! Danny Williams on ‘Joey Erotic’! Sam and Dan on The Countryside! We’ve got it all, and much more, so get comfy and join your old pals for a massive celebratory Episode 90 of The Dogger Saints Podcast! -
To paraphrase Frank Reynolds after he hijacked the tour boat “one the things I like to do most, is listen to the Dogger Saints Podcast. I listen to a lot of the Dogger Saints Podcast.” A strange man, but you can be like him too, if you come and join your old pals Sam and Dan for Episode 88 of The Dogger Saints Podcast!
We have all the skinny from all the Saints related action over the past few weeks, as we relive the mens 2-2 burglary against Dundee, and we Mac’s beautiful wee silky skills. We also look into the women’s double-header against Livingston, as Sam caught up with gaffers Jamie Reynolds and Kev Candy, and Dan with goalscorers Elvie McLean and Fern Newbigging after the thrilling cup victory, and then caught up with absolutely nobody after the league drubbing.
We all know what brightens up the time of year when the nights start fair drawing in - features, baby! And we’ve got them all with The Good, The Bad and The Banto, a visit to Mike Ashley’s emporium for this weeks O’Boyle, a small visit to the Club Shop of Shame, and we get in the ring for some wrastling in this weeks Theme Team.
With one on eye on the weekend, we’re take a look ahead to the womens game against Glasgow Women, before taking a look at the men’s clash against another Glasgow side, as we’re joined by Grant from the Heart and Hand Podcast as he gives a view from the other side.
Danny Williams’s Bucket of Chestnuts! Sam Miller’s Alcohol-Free Lager! Michael Beale’s ineptitude! We have it all, and lots more, so come along for the ride and join us for your all time favourite nonsense. Get there! -
A wonderfully inspiring conversation with ex Saintee Mark 'Mavis' Reilly on his time at the club, and his incredible journey into extreme races, all in the name of curing Rett Syndrome. We also discuss his Pirlo-esque midfield qualities, his plans for the Amazon and also his costume choice for an upcoming ballroom extravaganza. sit back and enjoy.
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‘Destroy this city of delusion’. Not our words, cousin’s, but the words of rock weirdos Muse. Speaking of delusion, Callum Davidson opened his mouth again this week. And speaking of gobshites opening their mouths, your old mates Sam and Dan are back, for a technical issue-delayed Episode 87 of The Dogger Saints Podcast!
Double Saints getting off the board, and it feels so good! We take a look at a thoroughly new look men’s team digging in for an unlikely point away at the reigning champs, and the women’s team coming back from Airdrie with all three points.
Cousin’s, we all know that you’re really here for the features….and we’re not gonna let you down with that! We take a trip to all the fun of the fair in this weeks Theme Team, a former stopper is the subject of this weeks trip to see George in The Royal, The Banto is suitably appraised, and we take a trip down to Norf Lahndan for some Club Shop of Shame refreshment. We also have the glorious return of Saintsmaster, with Cameron being the next to try and topple the Universe Joss at the head of the leaderboard.
Terrible comedy with Sam Miller! Terrible Bowls with Danny Williams! Terrible football with Celtic and Gartcairn! We have all this, a raft of technical issues, and a whole bunch of other crazy crap, so settle yourselves in and enjoy Episode 87 of The Dogger Saints Podcast! -
In the words of 80s Swiss musical oddballs “oh yeeeeaaah!” No, we’re not remaking Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or encouraging an entire office block to go to McDonalds solely using our eyebrows. No, we’re coming back from our day/week/months off to bring back your all time favourite loosely St. Johnstone based podcast, as your old pals Sam and Dan return with Episode 86 of The Dogger Saints Podcast!
We run the rule over the opening day defeat at McDiarmid against the Jam Tarts, and try and draw the positives from Saints’s miserable start to the season as we cast our expert* eye over the new arrivals into the squad.
You know what’s returned with us? Features, baby! And we have them by the barrel-load, including a brand spanker in which we catch up on all the weekly activity on the internets primary pit of nonsense with The Good, The Bad and The Banto. We also take a summery trip to Bavaria in this weeks Club Shop of Shame, and Sam witnesses some borderline larceny from Saints new stopper in this weeks trip to The Royal. Dan is also outed as a massive nerd as we take a trip to a galaxy far, far away in this weeks Theme Team.
Ahead of the return of the SWPL 2 this Sunday, we catch up with Saints Women’s managers Kev Candy and Jamie Reynolds for a delightful chat as we discuss new signings, how the team are shaping up ahead of opening day against Stirling Uni at the Riverside, and all things Crocs and no socks.
Mole’s with Sam Miller! Poetry with Danny Williams! Shenanigans with The Banto! We’re back, chums. And it feels so good! So go and make yourself comfy and come and join your old pals Sam and Dan for your all time favourite nonsense. Get there!
*Not at all expert in the fucking slightest. -
You think that your moustache is trendy!
You think your Kicker boots are too!
Got you Kangol and your fleece, got Ben Sherman on for weeks!
We can tell Dundee’s the team for you!
Not a stylish bunch are they those Dundonians? Well you needn’t worry about them, you’re a stylish Saintee, so come along and join your favourite stylish duo for Episode 85 of The Dogger Saints Podcast!
So, a rarity this week in that, aside from planning Betfred booze-ups in Stirling, we have literally no football to talk about. Not a kick. So we’re going big time, good time heavy on the features, baby!
Shiver me timbers! We have a pirate-based, long-awaited return of George O’Boyle in The Royal, and Saintsmaster also returns as perennial Dan substitute Sam Porritt turfs up to try and topple the Universe Joss at the top of the leaderboard.
We also delve once again into the weird world of the Old Firm for this weeks Club Shop of Shame, and we rattle through your bountiful entries for our pub-based Theme Team.
Away day logistics with Sam Miller! The Limited Edition Danny Williams! Philip Schofield! It’s all going off, so get yourselves comfy and come and give it a listen. -
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes! Possibly David Bowie’s last words, although we have it on good authority that his actual last words were “I wish I made a banger as good as ‘C’est La Vie’ by B*witched’. Either way, it truly is a time of change at Saints, as we enter an empty Spoony-less future. You know who will still be here though? Your old pals Sam and Dan, and we start that off with Episode 84 of your favourite good time listening, The Dogger Saints Podcast!
We talk about all the furore surrounding yet another St. Johnstone PR masterclass, as the two of the three most successful players in the history of the club unceremoniously made up part of the released list this week, and look at the job facing the new manager and CEO as they look to build a new version of St. Johnstone.
We also say fond farewells to retiring club legend Murray Davidson, and outgoing Chairman Steve Brown as they move onto pastures new following the conclusion of this season, as we also look at the trip to Dingwall and home game against Livingston to round matters off.
You know what’ll lift the mood? No, not Sam beatboxing, but features by bucket load! We have a glorious gardening related Theme Team, a frankly bizarre Club Shop of Shame, and an even more bizarre Cash Grab Chronicles.
Sam Miller’s deep dive into Artificial Intelligence! Danny Williams takes on Callum Davidson! Nike Pro Undercrackers! We’ve got it all, and you know what? We’d love you to join us. Get there! -
Danio, Danio, where art thou Danio. Dealing with housing issues so Sam is flying solo this week in a much changed episode as to what what was promised. Soz!
Do you suffer from getting as bit boozy now and again? We got your back with some solid advice to the casual beer hound in some peak non-saints related chat!
Sam catches up with the 2nd sweariest Fifer and Womens club captain Hannah Clark (who doesn't swear!) as we chat about the season past and next season. we also chat about 'banter with fans' and why you shouldn't have your relatives (especially grandparents) attend a match!
Young Sam Porritt sticks his head through the door to chat about Premiership safety and his love for white socks to be worn in any occasion.
I was very lonely this week so it would be lovely if you came and said hi!
Thanks to Stjarna Apparel for their continued support. -
Remember the play-off against Inverness last year? Friday night out in Inverness, big Monday night at McDiarmid. Some laugh, eh? We’ll keep clinging onto those good memories, because we might be doing it all again, babies! Unlike Stevie May up top, you’re not on your own for this here instalment of Squeaky Bum Time, you have your old pals Sam and Dan, and Episode 82 of The Dogger Saints Podcast!
Yep, Saints are crap again, so listen in as we talk about Saints being crap at home against Motherwell. There is another Saints team who are less crap, and we bring you all the skinny from Saints Women’s 3-2 victory over Gartcairn down by the Riverside, which keeps them in the hunt for the big SWPL 2 Play-Aff.
Anyway, enough of football, we have ourselves a pair of guests, as we are joined by Logan from local band Knackered and producer Kyle- both behind the fantastic new Saints song ‘Eagle’s Feather’ for a belting little chat about the song itself, life in the band and the dangerous crossover between the soccer and the music.
You know what will cheer us all up? Features, baby! And we’ve got them by the truck full, as we join Alex Gogic
circa May 2021 for a space themed Theme Team, we take a trip to foggy London Town for this weeks Club Shop of Shame, and we introduce a brand new sister feature to the CSOS rattling through the weird world of official football club partnerships.
Sam Miller writes soft drink based song! Danny Williams takes on the world! Shania Twain! Cool! We’ve got it all, and we’d love for you to get comfy and join us for it. Get there! -
Have you ever seen Steven MacLean camping? I haven't but I bet he would be good at it. By simply putting the correctly shaped pegs into the correctly shaped, he has already broken a number of McDiarmid based horror stats!
We discuss the remarkable turn around! You don't want to hear just about Dundee UTD though. That'd be a terrible listen, as you know, Dundee United are a horrible bunch.
But not as horrible as Montrose Women's team and their fans. Sam and Dan encounter a new unlikely nemesis in the North-East coasters.
Do you like features which could be about dressing small rodents? We've got you covered!
The prize bungle is finally won!
We witness saints players arm wrestle!
Come join the fun for episode 81! -
‘Goodbye Callum, it’s been nice, hope you find your Paradise’. Not our words friends, one of our words and the rest the words of 70s hit parade ticklers Supertramp. You know what else is nice, coming and having a rare time with your old pals Sam and Dan for Episode 80 of The Dogger Saints Podcast!
Alas, matters got a bit too much, and the club and Callum Davidson had a parting of ways, and we delve into all matters around where it went wrong and the job facing Steven McLean and the boys for the rest of the season.
We also catch up with our old pal, the man behind the mic and West Lothian’s premier nickname crafter Liam Innes to chat through all matters relating to the last embers of the Davidson Era.
There was a Saints team who did enjoy success over the weekend, as we have all the skinny from Saints Women’s Team’s stunning comeback victory over Stirling University down by the Riverside.
You know what will cheers us all up? Features, baby! We take a trip to Germany for the Club Shop of Shame and enjoy a tasty trip to everyone’s favourite fast food emporium for this weeks Theme Team.
Cycling with Sam Miller! Pornography with Danny Williams! Big Mick Energy! We have it all, and much more, so get yourself comfy and have a damn good time with your old pals. Get there! -
St. Johnstone are bad at football. Given you’re here, we assume that this is both not what you want to hear and also something you’re entirely aware of already.
Your old pals Sam and Dan are also aware of it already. Therefore, as we do every time it all gets too much and we can’t be arsed depressing ourselves talking about it, we open up our hotline for Episode 79 of The Dogger Saints Podcast - The Phone In 2: Electric Boogaloo!
Stuart, Nathan, Kerr, Kev, Ian and Cameron all join us for the cathartic experience, and try to answer the big question of just where does the gaffer stand. Ignore the Banto, ignore the old Conway Twitter, this is the place for all the Saints and Callum related chat you could possibly ever need. So pull up a chair, get comfy and get it smelt, it’s the good stuff! -
Cyprus, Cyprus, could nae kick a jelly….oh hold on, we’re a week early for baffling appraisals of teams ability to kick confectionary. You know who used to live in Cyprus though? Sam Miller! You know what he does now? Gets joined by his mate Danny Williams to host a podcast loosely based around a football team from Perth! So why not come and join Sam and Dan, as we bring you Episode 78 of The Dogger Saints Podcast!
We discuss Saints women’s dogged 0-0 draw with Kilmarnock at Riverside, and catch up Ellie May (Ellie May, Ellie Ellie May) Cowie to talk through the only Saints action of the weekend.
What do you want when there’s limited football action? Features, baby! And boy we’re digging them all out this week! We take a thoroughly hygienic trip down to Wolverhampton for this weeks Club Shop of Shame, get the dice and counters out in this weeks Theme Team, and a welcome return of International Blues sees an ode to midfield maestro Dan Phillips. We also have a return of Saintsmasters, as Ross has a tilt at topping the leaderboard, and Amanda joins us to have guess at just who Wendy is.
We also catch up with our old pal Gary from the ABZ Podcast to have a look forward to this Saturday’s game, Ross from Saints in the Community comes on for yet more additions to the increasingly incredible bungle, and we have a packed notice board for your listening pleasure.
Geography with Sam Miller! Concacacacacacaf with Danny Williams! True crime in Perth! We’ve got it all, and you don’t want to miss any of it, so settle in and join your good time buddy old pals for Episode 78 of The Dogger Saints Podcast. - Vis mere
