Episoder
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For many of us, that’s exactly what we expected. We’d share the load, support each other, and figure parenting out together.
So why does it so often stop feeling like a team?
In this episode, I explore why the idea of 50/50 parenting might actually be setting us up for frustration. We talk about the difference between sharing tasks and sharing responsibility, why life can never be split perfectly down the middle, and what equal parenting might really look like when family life is constantly changing.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re carrying more than your fair share, or found yourself keeping score without wanting to, this episode offers a different way of thinking about fairness, partnership and modern parenthood.
👭 The Five Villages Every Mum Needs If this conversation resonated, download my free audio guide, The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs, where I explore the different kinds of support modern mothers need and why so many of us feel like we’re doing it alone. Get it here.
🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
Want to share your thoughts on this episode?
TikTok @nataliek.martin Instagram: @natalie.kmartin or Email: [email protected]
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.
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Have you become the shouty mum you always said you'd never be? This week, I'm talking about something so many mums experience but so few feel able to admit: anger.
I explore why mum rage is rarely just about the moment itself, what might be sitting underneath it, and how the realities of modern motherhood can leave us carrying more than any one person was ever meant to. I also talk about the guilt we feel and why children don't need perfect parents, they need repair.
If you've ever finished shouting and been left feeling overwhelmed by guilt, this episode is for you.
👭 The Five Villages Every Mum Needs this FREE audio guide will walk you through the different levels of support mums need, and how to build them. Get it here.
🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
Want to share your thoughts on this episode?
TikTok @nataliek.martin Instagram: @natalie.kmartin or Email: [email protected]
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.
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Manglende episoder?
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Some children sleep. Some don't. Some children happily walk beside you. Others seem determined to test every boundary they can find.
In this episode, I'm talking about something we don't say out loud very often: some children are simply harder to parent than others.
Not because they're bad. Not because we'd swap them. And not because we love them any less.
I'm exploring temperament, comparison, strong-willed children, and why different children create different motherhood experiences.
Because wishing things were easier doesn't mean you love your child any less.
👭 The Five Villages Every Mum Needs this FREE audio guide will walk you through the different levels of support mums need, and how to build them. Get it here.
🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
Want to share your thoughts on this episode?
TikTok @nataliek.martin Instagram: @natalie.kmartin or Email: [email protected]
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.
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Everyone seems to want a 90s mum summer right now. Less screens. More outside play. Slower days. Simpler memories. And honestly? I want that too. But it's not 1995 anymore.
In this episode, I'm talking about nostalgia, technology, childhood memories, social media, summer pressure, and why modern mothers are trying to recreate the feeling of 90s childhoods inside a completely different world.
Maybe what we're really longing for isn't the 90s. Maybe it's more breathing room, more support, and less pressure.
👭 The Five Villages Every Mum Needs this FREE audio guide will walk you through the different levels of support mums need, and how to build them. Get it here.
🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
Want to share your thoughts on this episode?
TikTok @nataliek.martin Instagram: @natalie.kmartin or Email: [email protected]
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.
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We're sleeping. We're resting. We're trying to slow down. And yet so many of us are still exhausted.
In this episode, I'm talking about the difference between being tired and being depleted, and why modern motherhood often gives us fragments of rest without the kind of recovery we actually need.
From brain fog and burnout to the pressure to keep functioning through everything, we're exploring why sleep isn't always enough, and why maybe the problem isn't that we're doing rest wrong.
🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
Want to share your thoughts on this episode?
TikTok @nataliek.martin Instagram: @natalie.kmartin or Email: [email protected]
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.
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Raising a child between cultures is beautiful, but it’s also more emotional and complicated than people often realise.
In this episode, Nat talks honestly about raising her mixed heritage son in Germany, the small cultural moments she never expected to grieve, and the pressure of trying to pass on language, traditions and identity when you live far from home.
From nursery rhymes and bonfire night to racism, bilingual parenting and belonging, this is a conversation about what it really feels like to raise intercultural kids.
🎧 In this episode:
raising a child in a country different to your ownbilingual and intercultural parentingpreserving identity and traditions abroadmixed heritage children and visibilityBritish, Bavarian and Jamaican culturethe emotional reality of motherhood abroad🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
Want to share your thoughts on this episode?
TikTok @nataliek.martin Instagram: @natalie.kmartin or Email: [email protected]
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.
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It has been a BIG week (or two), and sometimes you need to be given permission to take a break.
🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
Want to share your thoughts on this episode?
TikTok @nataliek.martin Instagram: @natalie.kmartin or Email: [email protected]
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.
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Starting over after a breakup with kids isn’t just heartbreak.
It’s boxes everywhere.
Admin.
Bills.
Furniture.
Childcare.
Internet that still doesn’t work.
Trying to build stability for your child while your entire life is being rebuilt around them.In this episode, I’m talking honestly about the practical and emotional reality of separating with children, moving into my new apartment, rebuilding life from scratch and the hidden labour nobody really prepares mothers for.
This is for the mums carrying grief, logistics, parenting and survival all at the same time.
🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
Want to share your thoughts on this episode?
TikTok @nataliek.martin Instagram: @natalie.kmartin or Email: [email protected]
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.
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Separation with kids changes your finances overnight.
In this episode, we’re talking about money after a breakup, and what child maintenance actually covers, and what it doesn’t.
Because this is where a lot of the confusion and conflict starts.
We cover:
what child maintenance is really forwhy it often doesn’t stretch as far as expectedthe hidden financial load many mums are already carryingwhy money conversations after separation feel so chargedIf you’re navigating separation, or you might be one day, this will help you understand what’s really going on.
🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
Want to share your thoughts on this episode?
TikTok @nataliek.martin Instagram: @natalie.kmartin or Email: [email protected]
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.
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Breaking up is hard. Breaking up when you have children is something else entirely. Because you don’t just leave. You don’t get distance. And you don’t get the space most people rely on to actually process what’s happening.
In this episode, I’m talking about the reality of separating when you have kids. The emotional weight, the practical reality, and the parts that nobody really prepares you for.
This isn’t about how to move on.
It’s about why it feels so different when you can’t fully step away.If you’re in it right now, or if it’s something you’ve never really thought about before, this will help you understand why it can feel so heavy, complicated, and hard to navigate.
🎧 mentioned in this episode:
👉🏽 The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs a free audio guide for mothers who feel like they were never meant to do this alone.🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
Want to share your thoughts on this episode?
TikTok @nataliek.martin Instagram: @natalie.kmartin or Email: [email protected]
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.
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We spend months preparing for birth - the hospital bag, the antenatal classes, the birth plan. But almost no one prepares us for what comes after. Becoming a mother!
In this episode, Nat explores the gap between preparing for a baby and actually becoming a mother, and why so many women feel caught off guard by how much changes.
This is a conversation about motherhood as a transition, not a moment, and why it can feel so overwhelming when the practical preparation ends but the emotional, relational and identity shifts are only just beginning.
If you’ve ever thought, “why does this still feel so hard?”, this episode will land.
👉🏽 The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs a free audio guide for mothers who feel like they were never meant to do this alone.
🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
Want to share your thoughts on this episode?
TikTok @nataliek.martin Instagram: @natalie.kmartin or Email: [email protected]
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.
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This episode explores a moment many mums experience but rarely talk about, the realisation that in certain moments, you are completely on your own.
After a chaotic IKEA run, Nat found herself overwhelmed, stuck, and unable to see a solution. What followed was a deeper recognition of something many mothers feel, the gap between having support and actually being able to access it.
If you’ve ever thought “how am I supposed to do all of this on my own?”, this one will feel very familiar.
Free audio 👉🏽 The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs
🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
Want to share your thoughts on this episode?
TikTok @nataliek.martin Instagram: @natalie.kmartin or Email: [email protected]
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.
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Motherhood can feel overwhelming, even when nothing is “wrong”.
In this episode, I talk about why motherhood can feel so hard, especially when you’re juggling sleep deprivation, financial pressure, relationship strain, and the mental load all at once.
I share two personal moments where everything felt like too much, and what I realised looking back.
This episode is for you if you’ve ever thought:
why am I finding motherhood so hard?is it just me, or does everyone feel like this?why does everything feel like too much?A reflective conversation about overwhelm, pressure, and the reality of modern motherhood.
🎧 listen, and share with a mum who might need this
👉🏽 The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs
🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
Want to share your thoughts on this episode?
TikTok @nataliek.martin Instagram: @natalie.kmartin or Email: [email protected]
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.
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Most of us expect that going back to work will make things easier, but for many mums, it doesn’t. Costs increase. Illness increases. The mental load expands. And suddenly, you’re holding a job, a household, and a child at the same time.
In this episode, I’m unpacking why going back to work often feels harder than expected, and the structural tension behind it. Because the issue isn’t your ambition. It’s the conditions you’re working inside.
🎧 If this resonates, the free audio guide The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs explores the kinds of support that are often missing in moments like this: 👉🏽 The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs
🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
Want to share your thoughts on this episode?
TikTok @nataliek.martin Instagram: @natalie.kmartin or Email: [email protected]
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.
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Living together after a breakup is one of the least talked about stages of separation.
You’re not fully together.
You’re not fully apart.
And you’re not fully independent.From the outside, everything can look the same.
Same house. Same routines. Same family structure.But internally, everything has shifted.
In this episode, I’m naming what actually happens in that in-between space:
The emotional tension of sharing space while detachingThe constant nervous system activationWhy the mental load and division of labour suddenly feel sharperHow the “contract” of your relationship quietly disappearsWhy home can stop feeling like homeAnd why this stage, as hard as it is, can also bring clarityThis is a relationship debt episode, with threads of emotional and identity debt running through it.
If you’re in this stage, or heading towards it, you’re not imagining how hard it feels.
And you’re not the only one living it.
🎧 If this resonates, the free audio guide The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs explores the kinds of support that are often missing in moments like this: 👉🏽 The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs
🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
Want to share your thoughts on this episode?
TikTok @nataliek.martin Instagram: @natalie.kmartin or Email: [email protected]
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.
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Today, I’m talking about something that feels deeply uncomfortable for a lot of us, needing help when the numbers stop adding up.
Through the lens of motherhood, separation, and navigating finances, I share what it’s been like to realise that I can’t actually do this alone. Not because I’ve done something wrong, but because the reality of modern motherhood often doesn’t add up financially.
I talk about the shame that can come up when asking for help, especially financial help, and where that shame actually comes from.
This isn’t just about money. It’s about identity, independence, and the stories we carry about what it means to be someone who “should be able to manage”.
In this episode:
what happens when your income and expenses stop aligning in motherhoodwhy asking for help can feel so uncomfortablethe difference between personal failure and structural realityhow cultural and class conditioning shapes our relationship with money and supportwhy systems like benefits and subsidies exist in the first placeIf you’ve ever felt like you shouldn’t need help, this episode is for you.
🎧 Free resource: The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs
A short audio guide exploring the types of support modern motherhood requires, and where those gaps often are.👉🏽 The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs
🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
Want to share your thoughts on this episode?
TikTok @nataliek.martin Instagram: @natalie.kmartin or Email: [email protected]
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.
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In this episode, I’m sharing the idea that sits underneath so much of this podcast: the motherhood debt.
It’s the hidden cost of becoming a mother, not just financially, but emotionally, relationally, mentally and practically too.
I talk about the moment I realised I felt like I was drowning, why so many mums end up blaming themselves, and what I started to notice in conversations with other women.
Different struggles. Same underlying weight.
I also break down the different debts so many of us carry, from identity and relationships to time, energy, support and money.
This episode is the foundation for everything that follows. If motherhood has ever felt heavier than you expected, this will put language to it.
🎧 Mentioned in this episode:
The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs, where I talk more about the support structures modern mothers are navigating.👉🏽 The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs
🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
Want to share your thoughts on this episode? Comment on Spotify or:
Instagram: @natalie.kmartin
Email: [email protected]
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin
📢 Don’t forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.
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In this episode, Natalie reflects on how expectations around Mother’s Day can quietly shift after children arrive. What was once about celebrating your own mum can suddenly become multi-generational, bringing different traditions, assumptions, and sometimes tension about how the day should be spent.
Natalie also explores a deeper question: do mothers actually need one day of appreciation, or something more consistent than that?
Flowers, cards, and breakfast in bed are lovely, but they are not the same as everyday support. In modern motherhood, the small, practical moments of care and shared responsibility often matter far more than symbolic gestures once a year.
This episode looks at how resentment in relationships often builds through tiny moments over time, and why the opposite is also true. Small acts of support can quietly strengthen a partnership and help mothers feel less alone in the weight of family life.
Natalie also introduces the idea behind her Five Villages Every Mum Needs framework, which explores the different forms of support mothers need in modern life.
If Mother’s Day has ever felt more complicated than joyful, this conversation will likely resonate.
If this resonates, you can download my free audio guide, The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs, where I talk more about the support structures modern mothers are navigating.
👉🏽 The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs
🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
Want to share your thoughts on this episode? Comment on Spotify or:
Instagram: @natalie.kmartin
Email: [email protected]
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin
📢 Don’t forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.
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You’re told to stay calm. Keep explaining. Offer choices. Negotiate gently. But what happens when you’ve repeated yourself ten times and nothing changes?
In this episode of The Mama Circle Podcast, Nat shares a shift she’s been experimenting with during the toddler years: stepping away from endless negotiation and allowing safe, natural consequences to do the teaching instead with FAFO (F*ck Around, Find Out) parenting.
This isn’t about abandoning gentle parenting or becoming stricter. It’s about recognising that much of modern parenting advice assumes unlimited patience, time and emotional capacity, conditions most parents simply don’t have.
Because parenting doesn’t happen in ideal circumstances. It happens when you’re tired, running late, overstimulated, and trying to hold an entire household together at the same time.
Drawing from real-life toddler moments, Nat explores what changed when she stopped trying to control every outcome and started getting curious instead of exhausted.
Inside this episode:
why negotiation stops working with some toddlers
parenting strong-willed children without constant conflict
the exhaustion of endless repetition
boundaries versus “being soft” in modern parenting culture
letting go of control without becoming harsh or reactive
why toddlers often learn through experience rather than explanation
If you’ve ever felt like you’re failing because parenting feels harder than it’s supposed to, this episode offers a different perspective.
You’re not doing it wrong. You’re parenting inside real constraints.
If this resonates, you can download my free audio guide, The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs, where I talk more about the support structures modern mothers are navigating.
👉🏽 The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs
🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
Want to share your thoughts on this episode? Comment on Spotify or:
Instagram: @natalie.kmartin
Email: [email protected]
☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin
📢 Don’t forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode
New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.
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When we fall in love, we don’t sit down and map out how we’d separate.
We assume love will carry us.
But love is not a custody plan.
In this episode, I talk about something that might feel uncomfortable at first: what if we treated parenting like the structural commitment it is? What if we had the hard conversations about childcare, money, mobility and decision-making before resentment, betrayal or grief enter the room?
Because most couples only negotiate structure once they’re already hurt.
I share how navigating co-parenting after separation opened my eyes to how much of family life is built on hope. And how quickly hope collapses when structure hasn’t been defined.
This is not about predicting failure.
It’s about protecting children from the worst versions of adults in pain.We talk about:
Why breakups become so volatile once kids are involved
The emotional weight behind child maintenance
Mobility, relocation and parental responsibility
Why clarity is not unromantic
How systems like custody law shape what’s possible
If motherhood creates invisible debt, then relationship debt is one of the most expensive.
And pretending love alone will carry it is what leaves so many families fighting when they’re already bleeding.
If this resonates, you can download my free audio guide, The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs, where I talk more about the support structures modern mothers are navigating.
👉🏽 The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs
🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.
We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle
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