Episodes
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Inbox zero is such a seductive proposition.
Inbox zero was popularized by productivity gurus as an efficient approach to email. The idea is that you want to maintain your inbox with zero - or as close to zero - messages as possible.
For most people, this becomes a daily metric to track their own productivity.
And, I’d argue it’s a vanity metric.
It’s seductive because it makes you think you’re being productive, efficient, and valuable at work. But it’s just a veneer of productivity.
Inbox zero comes with real costs. Namely, it takes away your focus from the work that really matters. (Which, in most jobs, is not responding to email.)
This week, we explore the lingering “productivity myth” of inbox zero, and better ways of managing your inbox.
What You'll Learn:
Why inbox zero seems so efficient
The real costs (and opportunity costs) of trying to maintain inbox zero
Take a page from domestic management - would you ever try to maintain laundry hamper zero?
Better ways to manage your inbox
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Presentation anxiety. It’s incredibly common, even amongst leaders.
There’s that oft-quoted statistic that suggests that most people’s biggest fear is public speaking.
And what are presentations, if not public speaking? Even when the scale is small (like leading a team meeting), the stakes rarely feel small.
As a leader, you might need to give dozens of presentations a year. In some roles, you might give dozens a week.
What’s more, your presentation skills are part of your executive presence. You want to appear confident, calm, unflustered.
But how do you do that with your knees shaking?
In this episode, we’ll cover how you can conquer presentation anxiety, to show up with more confidence and more presence every time.
What You'll Learn:
Why the typical advice, like “fake it til you make it” is unhelpful (or downright terrible) for presentation anxiety
The ABCs of anxiety - what’s really going on when you’re on stage?
How to create an “anxiety management protocol” to help you perform at your best
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Decisions, decisions, decisions.
We live in a world of plenty…and it’s overwhelming.
There are so many options, and so much pressure to make the right choices.
And the sheer number of decisions that we need to make in a given week is mind-boggling.
Think about the time you spend in an average week researching, analyzing, and getting agreement on options.
It’s exhausting.
But there is a way to win back some bandwidth and energy, too.
It’s the practice of decision constraint.
And it’s incredibly effective for anyone feeling bogged down by the weight of the mental load at home (or stuck in analysis paralysis at work).
Try it this week for better balance and more bandwidth.
What You'll Learn:
Why having more options doesn’t necessarily make us happier or better off
What you need to know about how the brain operates, so you can reduce the cognitive load
What kinds of decisions benefit from constraint
How to implement decision constraint for better balance
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Is your work week best described as a daily grind?
Like, the kind of work where you are constantly working at max capacity, only to find yourself…slowly…grinding…down.
Most corporate jobs operate with a go-go-go mentality that keeps everyone in a permanent state of exhaustion.
This is disastrous for your stamina.
And not just at work. The “hangover” of working like this usually carries straight into life at home.
Making you feel “wound up” and stressed, and less able to be present and relaxed.
You might be tempted to think this is just a side effect of a demanding job. But it doesn’t always have to be.
In this episode, we’ll discuss a technique for rebalancing your calendar, that can increase your stamina.
If you want more control over your calendar at work, and fewer evenings feeling drained, listen and apply this week’s episode.
What You'll Learn:
How can “sprinting” not be draining?
The one trap you must avoid in setting up your work schedule (unless you like feeling fried)
Are you people-pleasing with your time?
Applying this to operational vs. strategic roles
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Albert Einstein allegedly said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used to create them.” Wise words, whether they come from Einstein or not.
But how do you actually develop higher-level thinking skills?
One technique I use is Superthinking.
It puts the amazing power of your human brain as a problem-solving machine onto your biggest challenges, and guides your brain to solve them strategically.
Super thinking is a meta-skill. It asks you to observe and direct your own thinking at the same time.
But we’re not taught this powerful skill. And that leaves us at the whims of our brain’s default mode. Which is riddled with biases and glitches.
Your brain is a bit like ChatGPT. Its output is only as good as the prompts you give it.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to “prompt” your brain more effectively. For better, more creative, more strategic problem solving. At home, and at work.
What You'll Learn:
The value of Superthinking, and why it’s worth learning this meta-skill
Why your brain’s “default mode” results in biased thinking – and how to correct for it
How to conduct a Superthinking session
2 benefits of doing regular Superthinking in your life and work
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Women tend to disproportionately bear the weight of the mental load.
That translates into a “second shift” at home: more hours spent on parenting, housework, emotional caretaking, and more.
When it comes to managing that mental load, so often the advice to women is one of two things:
Delegate it. Or lower your standards.
And while there’s nothing wrong with either of those approaches, that’s not the only way to “offload” tasks.
I get on my soapbox a little bit this week, to talk about how the mental load ends up pigeon-holing women, the sexist taxes that (too often) go unchallenged, and why we deserve better.
It’s time to talk about what it really means to offload the mental load, and how we start to make that happen.
What You'll Learn:
Why going part-time isn’t your only option for being a “good mom” in the paid workforce
The unchallenged assumptions that we need to rethink around the mental load of parenting.
The “isn’t that cute” version of women’s empowerment
The 3 sexist taxes that fall on you if you’re socialized as a woman
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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“It’s lonely at the top”, so the saying goes.
Which makes it all the more surprising that leaders rarely discuss the feelings of loneliness that can come as you rise.
It’s paradoxical. You’re surrounded by colleagues. You lead a team who look up to you and follow you. And at the same time, it can feel distinctly lonely to be the person standing out in front, making the big decisions.
Leadership loneliness isn’t only a problem at the top rungs of business. It can strike any time you’re elevated from being “one of the pack” to being in a position of authority.
It can feel like the spotlight is directly on you.
Doubly so if you’re a “pioneer” in your field – the first or only person of your gender, race, or other marginalized identity.
And there aren’t many people to whom you can turn. Your former peers? They can’t relate. Your current leaders? They might conclude you aren’t up to the job.
There’s so much stigma that many leaders end up trying to put on a courageous front.
But they’re secretly struggling with feeling alone, exposed, and the weight of having authority.
In this episode, we pull back the curtain on leadership loneliness, and strategies you can employ to navigate this often overlooked aspect of leadership.
What You'll Learn:
Causes of leadership loneliness, and the inappropriate workplace coping strategy that some people use
How leadership loneliness impacts your ability to problem-solve, and can end up driving great leaders out of jobs they once aspired to
Can you show vulnerability without being fully transparent?
4 strategies you can use to mitigate leadership loneliness, so you can feel confident and supported
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Imagine if you could sit down with your future self—the version of you who has achieved your wildest dreams, overcome your biggest challenges, and is living your best life. What would that conversation be like? How would it transform the decisions you make today?
Last month, we focused on the important relationships you have at home and at work.
But there’s one relationship we haven’t talked about. And it’s your most important relationship:
Your relationship with your Future Self.
This relationship drives major decisions about your career, your family, and how you show up in the arena.
So, it makes sense to treat this relationship seriously.
In this episode, we’ll explore strategies to connecting to the person you’re destined to become, and how doing so can transform how you lead, and how you live.
What You'll Learn:
Why the relationship between your Past, Present and Future Self matters for success
How your relationship with your future self can protect you from guilt and people-pleasing
4 Questions to ask yourself that will deepen your relationship with your future self
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Executive Presence. Most leaders know it’s a powerful ingredient for success. It’s that bit of leadership sorcery that allows some to command a room, influence key decisions, and inspire confidence.
You might be able to get ahead without it, but I don’t recommend trying!
But can you actually develop executive presence?
I’ve heard leaders describe it as, “you just know it when you see it.”
That may be true. But it’s spectacularly unhelpful.
Drawing on the latest research on Executive Presence, we’ll decode the formula for this important leadership skill. And discuss how you can leverage it to rise at work.
What You'll Learn:
Decoding Executive Presence: the 3 elements that matter most
Bias and executive presence – is it a catch-22, or can it be neutralized?
Why “fake it til you make it” isn’t the best strategy
How to develop your personal flavor of executive presence with your own, impactful “spice blend”
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Are you ready to rise in your organization?
Maybe you’re not sure. It’s a topic that can create a lot of ambivalence when you have kids.
“I’d love to do more, but I can’t work any harder…and I’m already so drained.” This is a phrase I hear often.
The problem is that there are two thought errors that underpin this phrase.
First, you might think that rising means doing more. More hours. More deliverables. More meetings.
Second, too often it means that you’re overinvesting in developing skills that will cause career stagnation (and underinvesting in the skills that will drive growth).
But when you put the 3 keys in this episode together, you open the door to better performance, better balance, and more leverage at work.
What You'll Learn:
Why “rising” doesn’t always mean a promotion – the different flavors of rising, and their benefits
The 3 elements you need to rise in an organization
Why you shouldn’t rely on strong performance alone
How “rising” can create better work-life alignment and increased energyTo learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Valentine’s Day is in the air. And whether you consider yourself a romantic or not, let’s do a quick status check on your relationship with your partner.
Does your relationship with your partner feel fantastic? Or is it weighed down by a growing list of resentments? Maybe you’d consider your relationship more of an afterthought…something that gets your time and attention once in a blue moon?
It’s no secret that kids bring on changes in relationships.
Sometimes, those changes are an evolution, a deepening of an important bond with your partner in childrearing.
But too often, the all-consuming nature of modern parenting leaves this important relationship starved for attention. It starts to languish.
So this week, I’m going to share with you how a seemingly unromantic practice borrowed from the corporate sphere – the Annual Review – can strengthen your relationship and diffuse resentment.
If you’re looking to keep your relationship on track (or get it back on track), despite kids and demanding jobs, this episode is a must-listen.
What You'll Learn:
Why many couples avoid “relationship feedback”, and why that’s a “false good idea”
The 3 questions to ask yourself before Valentine’s Day
How to conduct an Annual Relationship Review with your partner
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Many high achieving women work by the old adage “just keep your head down and do good work, and you’ll be recognized.”
Sometimes the advice comes directly from a mentor or a parent.
For others, it’s an implicit to the way a meritocracy is supposed to work.
The good girls who do stellar work without making too much of a stink are supposed to get rewarded.
Right?!
But here’s the unvarnished truth: if you’re doing great work, but no one knows about it…you’re not going to get the recognition you deserve.
That’s why it’s not optional to be your own PR person at work.
It doesn’t have to be hard. In this episode, we’ll explore how you can create a routine that helps get visibility for your work.
So you can get credit for all that you contribute.
What You'll Learn:
How your “PR” shapes your personal brand and visibility at work
Internal PR vs. External PR, and the benefits of each
How to create an effective PR routine in just 1-2 hours per month
4 ways to get started, without it feeling awkward and uncomfortable
For more information, visit The Mental Offload.
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More and more employers are offering coaching as a perk at work. But it wasn’t always this way.
20 years ago, executive leadership coaching was a perk limited to a very small subset of employees: people at the very top, or those leaders who were at risk of failing.
And in many organizations, coaching retained that reputation: either unavailable to all but the highest rungs, or remedial instruction that you should be embarrassed about needing.
But that’s changing.
Coaching is seen as a sought-after perk by employees.
Wise employers are listening. And responding.
They’ve seen the impact of coaching on individual employees. They recognize that coaching is a perk that can support, grow, and retain talent.
That means that many companies are more willing to help you if you want to work with a coach.
In this episode, we’ll explore how the attitudes around leadership and executive coaching have shifted, and ways you can approach your company around getting coaching even if it’s not an advertised perk.
What You'll Learn:
How the employer mindset around coaching has shifted
Why these shifting attitudes are so beneficial for working mothers, women of color, and marginalized groups
How to ask for support from your company, and influence your company if they’re hesitant to financially support investments in coaching
For more information, visit The Mental Offload.
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Many companies require development planning. But few teach you how to it.
In many firms, development is a “tick the box exercise”: you build out a plan, file it away, and pull it out at the next review cycle.
Despite your best intentions, development may be an afterthought for you and your team.
And yet, you probably realize that continued growth = continued success.
So, how do you make sure that your development plan gets the traction it deserves?
In this episode, you’ll learn how to avoid the common development planning pitfalls. And create an actionable, impactful growth plan.
So that you can be the architect of your own growth.
What You'll Learn:
4 development planning approaches (and how to know which one is right for you)
The key thing to do to keep your development plan from getting too watered down
Go beyond SMART goals to make your development highly actionable
A valuable tip to 2x the pace of your development
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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It’s well-known research: merely writing down your goals makes it more likely you’ll achieve them.
And yet, writing down a goal is usually not enough to get us to the finish line.
What gives?!
Yes, writing down a goal is useful. And it’s definitely better than doing nothing. But often, this makes your goal little more than a wish. A nice intention. But not something you actually follow through on.
Vision is great. But it’s the execution that really counts.
Achieving a goal requires consistent action.
And the best way to make your actions consistent? Systems. A good system makes it easy for you to do what needs to be done to achieve a goal.
It doesn’t matter whether your goal is to consistently walk 10 thousand steps per day, or to stop working evenings, or to maintain a regular date night.
Systems are your secret weapon for goal success.
What You'll Learn:
The 3 levels of goal setting
The most important question you can ask to help you build better systems for goal achievement
Why a good system helps you operate in "autopilot" mode, and why that's a good thingTo learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Whether you’re looking at the business press, or the motivation quotes on Pinterest, you’ll often get a one-dimensional look at what it takes to be successful.
“Go for GROWTH!”
It’s so ingrained in our culture’s approach to success, that you can feel like a failure if you’re not constantly trying to achieve the Next Big Thing, personally or professionally.
I was sitting in my office with a client, who was almost apologetic about her desire to ratchet down the pace as she adjusted to a new baby in the family.
“I’m not sure this is a growth year for me,” she admitted. “Is that terrible?”
She was slightly terrified by the idea that if she dared to slow down the career treadmill, she’d never regain her speed.
The idea that a career needs to be linear, with a steady pace, seems really tidy, but it’s not necessary in order to be successful.
That’s why, as you consider your ambitions for a new year, it’s critical to consider this as well:
Your pace.
Specifically, whether you want to aim for a Growth, Balance or Pivot year.
This episode will help you set your own pace on the route to success.
What You'll Learn:
Why plotting your pace for the year is as important as plotting your goals for the year
3 ways to set your pace: growth, balance or pivot
Why society treats some paces as “better”, and how to get comfortable with your own pace
The tradeoffs that come with each pace
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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The start of a new year is an invitation to change. You think about what you want to achieve this year. Make a few New Year’s resolutions. As the clock starts midnight, you’re ready to get started: new year, new you. Right?
But the statistics tell a depressing truth: most new year’s resolutions fail. In fact, most resolutions are abandoned before January is even over.
What’s going on with resolutions? Is there a way to make change in the new year that actually works?
In this episode, we’ll explore what you need to know about successfully achieving your goals for the year ahead.
What You'll Learn:
Why most New Year’s Resolutions fail
How to “fail-proof” your resolutions
2 alternatives for successful goal setting
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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Is it possible to thrive in a biased world?
It can feel like an impossible task, one where we’re always at risk of failing someone else. Or our own standards. Trying to navigate a world that has soooooo maaaannny rules for how we’re supposed to do things can be utterly exhausting. And thankless. It also leaves many of us as perfectionistic people-pleasers.
But where did those rules, standards and expectations come from anyway? In this episode, we break down the process of how we ended up in this state, starting with “good girl” conditioning.
We also take a glimpse of how conditioning of additional cultural identities can compound the pressures of socialization.
And we talk about the tools for breaking free of all of it.
What You'll Learn:
What Good Girl Conditioning is, and how it turns into internalized sexism
How we end up carrying around a “Manual”, and how we end up deferring to it
How our cultural background impacts the Manual
The problem with the Manuals we have for ourselves
Why breaking free of Good Girl Conditioning requires re-writing our Manual
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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When overachievers become mothers, something strange can happen. And it’s rarely discussed. It’s Mom-poster syndrome.
Most people have heard about imposter syndrome. Those feelings of being not good enough, of feeling like a fraud, that can sneak up on us.
We mostly think of imposter syndrome in our professional lives. But our inner critic can also come up around our “other” job as mothers. It might hit when you’re expecting, or as a new mom, or at a major developmental transition.
Our inner critic can amplify all of our other worries, doubts and guilt. Left unchecked, Momposter syndrome can send your career off the rails, it can drive a wedge into your marriage, and may even contribute to post-partum mental health struggles.
Let’s break down Momposter Syndrome.
What You'll Learn:
Why Momposter Syndrome seems more prevalent in younger generations and for Type A mothers
2 very different ways that Momposter Syndrome can show up for working mothers
How understanding the lies of the Momposter & inner critic can help us find freedom from it
For more information, visit The Mental Offload.
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Mom Guilt seems to lurk everywhere. Especially if you’re a working mother. Work long hours? You’re supposed to feel guilty about not being a good enough mother. Missing meetings when your kid is sick yet again? You’re supposed to feel guilty about not being a good enough employee.
How to escape from the guilt trap? Is it even possible?! In this episode, we go deep into Mom Guilt, and how to get rid of it. Mom Guilt truly is optional when you learn this approach.
What You'll Learn:
The root cause of mom guilt
3 sneaky things that we don’t realize cause guilt
How to “opt out” of mom guilt
To learn more, visit The Mental Offload.
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