Episodes
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#138. We're off on an Ozzie adventure!
But, first things first, as promised, the all-important anonymous form: đ https://forms.gle/LmFrrd4xvvnEhG5R9 đ (it'll make sense when you've listened to the episode!)
Welcome to The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, exploring if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
This episode is a little different, because we recorded in an unusual location about a very unusual topic!We (Chris & Claire) are embarking on an adventure. For the rest of this year, we wonât be releasing our usual fortnightly episodes - primarily because weâre heading down under for a while - but this doesn't mean we'll be Silent. Why?
Listen to find out.
Oh, and about that ticking clock⊠no, youâre not going mad - I don't think you can hear it!
Send us a text
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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
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Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. -
#137. Can losing a friend be overlooked in our culture? What happens when the friend who knew you best is gone? And why are there so few resources to help with this kind of grief?
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to explore grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
Loss #65 of 101: Loss of a friend
In this episode, we meet Hannah Rumsey from Chicago. She's the founder of Friends Missing Friends, a community she created for people navigating the loss of a friend. And Hannahâs work grew out of her own story, when in 2015 her best friend Lauren died suddenly.
Hannah shares about the deep bond she and Lauren had, Laurenâs incredible zest for life, and the devastating way she first learned of her death - while posting a birthday message on Facebook.
Together, we explored the unique challenges of grieving a friend, and why this grief can feel invisible or minimised, how few resources exist for friend-loss grief, despite how common it is, and the surprising ways healing, and hope, can unfold over time.
This is a heartfelt and open conversation about a form of grief that isnât often acknowledged, yet touches so many lives.
And for listeners who enjoyed my behind-the-scenes episode on how to make a podcast - there's a little bonus in this episode - some unedited audio that shows just how in sync Chris and I are with our questioning. đ
For more about Hannah, Friends Missing Friends, and her podcast:
https://www.friendsmissingfriends.com
https://www.instagram.com/friendsmissingfriends
https://www.facebook.com/friendsmissingfriends
http://friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup
Podcast: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/friendsmissingfriendsSend us a text
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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
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Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. -
Missing episodes?
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#136. (We'll... we've actually done 226 episodes in total. You'll hear me talk about the annoying decision around episode numbering in this 226th episode!)
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
This episode is a little different. No blog, no interview, no Chris, and no focus on loss. Itâs just you and me, pulling back the curtain for a behind-the-scenes peek at how I create this podcast.
I often get asked:
- What does it really take to produce an episode?
- Can podcasting make money?
- How do you find guests?
Today, Iâm answering those questions (and more) while walking you through my own process of hosting, producing, and publishing a show.
Plus, if youâve ever thought about starting your own podcast, this episode will give you a real sense of the time, effort, and resources involved. As well as some lessons Iâve learned along the way.
A huge thank you to everyone who supports this podcast and helps keep it going.
Special gratitude goes to our âI Love The Silent Whyâ members and above, on Buy Me a Coffee, who not only get a shout-out on the website but deserve a mention here too: Evelyn Calaunan, Peter Ellis, Jackie Waring, Diane Fopp, Greg Williams, and Emily Luckham. Youâre amazing, and Iâm so grateful for you.
Thanks also to those who support through one-offs or other levels on Buy Me a Coffee, and of course to everyone who tunes in each week. I truly couldnât do this without you.
To learn more about the show, about Chris and me, our childless journey through loss, Herman, and everything else, visit: www.thesilentwhy.comSend us a text
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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods
Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. -
#135. How do we accept, and live with, a life we never really wanted?
Welcome to another My Why Blog episode - where I share the audio version of my latest blog post. But in this case, itâs actually a re-release of the most popular blog episode Iâve ever put out (to my surprise!).
If youâve been listening a while, youâll know I usually pause podcasting in August to focus on writing and other projects. But this August is a little different, and I explain why in the intro.
If youâd rather read the blog, youâll find it here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/acceptingalifeidontwant (with the video and song links included).
This post grew out of a rather heavy Easter weekend, when I found myself asking questions like:
What if life never turns out the way we hoped?
If acceptance feels impossible, how do we ever begin to heal and move forward?I suspect more people than we realise are quietly wrestling with these same questions. Grieving the life you imagined, and learning to accept the one you have, is not easy. And while I donât claim to have figured it out yet, Iâm convinced itâs a vital step if we want to keep moving forward.
You can explore more blogs to read, or listen to, here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/blog
A few examples:What happens if I let go?:
https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/whathappensifiletgo
Disappointed with life:
https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/disappointment-with-life
You're not the only one:
https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/yourenottheonlyone
Navigating Mother's Day when you're childless:
https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7a23238b/navigating-mothers-day-when-youre-childless
Lost Inside, where am I? (my experience with PMDD):
https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/lostinsideSend us a text
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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods
Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. -
#134. Let's chat... about finding hope after feeling hopeless as a young widow.
Welcome to another Letâs Chat episode, where instead of continuing our 101 Types of Loss list, I (Claire Sandys) sit down with guests who have expertise and personal insight into different aspects of loss.
In this episode, I have the pleasure of talking with Rachel Powell from Colorado. Sheâs a life coach, speaker, author, and founder of Hope Speaker, where she supports widows in moving from a place of hopelessness and loneliness to one of healing, and confident steps forward.
Rachel lost her husband, Andre, to suicide in June 2019, and she was left raising four children: their two-year-old daughter and three of her biological nieces and nephew.
In this conversation, Rachel shares how hard this journey was for her and the darkness that led her to attempt to take her own life.
But as a person who's passionate about hope, we also talk about how she found hope again, what part her Christian faith has played in her healing, and why she now speaks so passionately about her experience.
Rachelâs faith has been a big part of her healing, and while we donât often delve into religion on this podcast, itâs important to see the different ways people find hope through grief. This episode is a powerful reminder that faith in God doesnât guarantee an easier path.
Rachel offers wisdom and encouragement for all of us â whether youâve experienced partner loss or are simply wondering what that journey might look like.For more about Rachel, and the resources we mention, visit:
www.hopespeaker.com
Faceboook: https://www.facebook.com/HopeSpeakerRachelPowell
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hope_speaker/
Free Resources: www.hopespeaker.com/library
If you are interested in working 1:1 with Rachel for widow support, learn more at www.hopespeaker.com/coachingTo contact Rachel: [email protected]
Send us a text
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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
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Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. -
#133. âGrief isnât sad â because it reminds you to make the most of today.â Curious about how Richard has reached this conclusion after losing his wife? Hit play and find out.
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to explore grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
Loss #64 of 101: Loss of a wife
In this episode, we meet Richard Smith, whose wife Heather died of breast cancer in 2014, leaving him as a solo parent to their three children, aged 15, 14, and 11.Recorded on the exact anniversary of Heatherâs death, Richard opens up about the past 11 years of navigating his grief as a widower, the evolving nature of loss, and how he keeps Heather's presence alive in a way that continues to shape his life today.
In this conversation, we explored the emotional journey of losing a partner (while raising grieving children), how grief has changed for Richard over the last decade, the difference between sadness and grief, and why Richard sees grief as a meaningful part of life.
This episode is a profound reflection on love, loss, and resilience, offering comfort and perspective to any of us facing grief.
More on Richard:
His blog about telling his children their mum is dying: https://www.sueryder.org/blog/richards-story-telling-our-children-their-mum-was-dying/The Pensions Dashboard: https://www.dashboardideas.co.uk/about/
Richard's straight line walk across the UK in 2019: http://www.52inbritain.co.uk/
Send us a text
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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
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Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. -
#132. Life is hectic. Sometimes we simply need to stop for a moment. And thatâs what this short episode is all about.
Oh, and the beautiful sounds of the Mediterranean Sea that I recorded when we were in Cyprus.
Welcome to The Silent Why podcast, here to help you navigate loss and grief, and possibly... find hope.
These very short, episodes will pop up every now and then to help you take a moment to check in and see how you're really feeling.
Less than 7 minutes total, including 2 minutes of time for you and you alone - join me (Claire Sandys, podcast host) in an imaginary place and allow yourself to press pause on life for a short while.
And for this episode, I'm asking you to sit on the beach with me in Cyprus, in front of the Mediterranean Sea, as the water laps at our feet, and just take a moment to pause.Send us a text
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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
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Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. -
#131. Let's chat... about where the love goes when someone dies. Can you still be 'in love' if it's not reciprocated? Does it eventually fade? Or die?
Welcome to another Letâs Chat episode, where instead of continuing our 101 Types of Loss list, I (Claire Sandys) sit down with guests who have expertise and personal insight into different aspects of loss.
In this episode, I have the pleasure of talking with David Kelly from Hertfordshire, who works as a Community Engagement Coordinator at Rennie Grove Peace Hospice Care.David reached out after a previous conversation Chris & I had on the podcast about love and grief. Weâd asked: Where does the love go when someone dies? David offered such a thoughtful response on an Instagram message that I invited him on the podcast to explore it further.
David shares from both personal experience - having lost his wife, Beverly, to cancer - and his deep understanding of grief models. Together, we unpack questions around love after loss: Does it stay the same? Can it fade? What does it mean to continue loving someone whoâs gone? How does it work when we find new love? Can you love two people with all your heart?
This is a thoughtful, moving conversation about grief, love, and how we try to make sense of both.Links from David for more information on what he shared:
Dual Process Model: https://whatsyourgrief.com/dual-process-model-of-grief/
Tonkinâs âGrow Around Griefâ Model: https://whatsyourgrief.com/growing-around-grief/
Continuing Bonds Theory: https://whatsyourgrief.com/grief-concept-care-continuing-bonds/
Grieving Beyond Gender: Understanding diverse grieving styles by Kenneth Doka & Terry Martin - https://amzn.eu/d/et82Zgh
Grief and gender: https://whatsyourgrief.com/grief-and-gender-a-preamble/Send us a text
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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
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Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. -
#130. Not all losses are bereavements. Sometimes they follow a diagnosis and impact someone for the rest of their life, like with our guest in this episode.
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to explore grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
Loss #63 of 101: Loss through chronic illness - Lupus
In this episode, we meet Olivia Abousaid - a grief coach based in Los Angeles who lives with the autoimmune disease Lupus. Olivia shares the lesser-seen grief that comes with chronic illness - losses that donât always get named or acknowledged.
We explore the impact of Lupus on daily life and identity, the challenging task of letting go of independence and learning to ask for help, navigating invisible grief as both a coach and a patient, the mental weight of âshouldsâ and societal expectations, and finding agency and hope amidst physical limitations.
From missing out on sunny afternoons with friends to facing the fatigue that alters routines and dreams, Oliviaâs story speaks to anyone who has experienced loss through ill health, medical diagnosis, or an unexpected change in lifeâs trajectory.
This is a powerful conversation about learning to grieve whatâs gone, while choosing to hope in what remains.To find out more about Olivia, visit: www.pact-coaching.com
www.instagram.com/pact_coaching
https://linktr.ee/pactcoaching
Send us a text
Support the show
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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
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Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. -
#129. What are the most valuable things we've learnt - or think really matter - after 20 years of marriage?
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, exploring asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
On 26 May 2025, we celebrated 20 years of marriage! It's a big deal for us as we love being married and find we don't have that much to celebrate in life! So we decided to sit down and discuss what we've learnt over the past two decades, and share what we believe have been the most important ingredients in keeping our marriage as healthy and strong as possible.
And since we host a podcast, we thought 'why not record it for you to hear too?'
So that's exactly what we did. No editing (just the music and usual polish), a Sunday afternoon chat - published on Monday night.
In the build-up, we each wrote down our top five things we think have made the biggest difference in our relationship, but we didnât share them with each other in advance. Were there overlaps? Surprises? Disagreements? You'll have to listen to find out!
If youâd like to hear more about us, especially our story around infertility and childlessness, you can hear us open up in a similar way in Loss 3: Loss of Fertility - https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/492a29c1/loss-3101-loss-of-fertility-chris-and-claire-sandys-part-1Send us a text
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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
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Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. -
#128. Did you know you can build mental muscles, as well as physical ones? And that you can start that any time - no matter how weak you might feel?
Welcome to another My Why from Claire Sandys (co-host of The Silent Why podcast). My Why episodes are audio versions of my latest blog post.
If you'd prefer to read it, you can find it here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/how-to-build-mental-muscles-when-you-re-feeling-weak
Flexing your mental muscles is like training your body - it takes time and consistency. But once you start, they grow stronger and more reliable. In this episode, Iâm sharing the tips and tools that helped me through tough times, including practical ways to stay grounded and protect your sanity and your relationships.
Think of this as a mental workout: exercises to support you when your mind feels hormonal/confused/frustrated/depressed/griefy [you fill in the gap].
If youâre aware that youâre not always your best self - snapping at loved ones, stuck in negative thought spirals, or simply struggling to cope with your own mind - this episode is for you.
(And if youâre supporting someone whoâs feeling that way, it might help you too.)
For more on the Amiko Cards I mention: https://www.littlechallenges.com/storeSend us a text
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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
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Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. -
#127. Think menopause is just a physical change?
What if we told you it can also bring grief, loss of identity, and a hit to your mental health?This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, exploring asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
Loss #62 of 101: Loss through menopause
In this episode, we welcome Diane Danzebrink, advocate, educator, and author of Making Menopause Matter. Diane experienced surgical menopause following surgery related to a potential ovarian cancer diagnosis in 2012. What followed was a mental and emotional decline that she never expected, and a battle few talk about openly.
This topic is especially close to our hearts. In 2019, Claire (your host) was also thrust into surgical menopause following a total hysterectomy, so weâve been waiting to find the right person to speak to about the unique grief and loss tied to menopause. And we definitely found her!
Diane brings both lived experience and professional dedication to this conversation. She works tirelessly to support women through the often-invisible losses of menopause while campaigning for improved education, awareness, and support.
In this heartfelt episode, Diane speaks openly about the loss of identity, confidence, stability, and mental health, and how she ultimately transformed her pain into purpose.
Whether youâre going through menopause, supporting someone who is, or simply want to better understand this transition, this episode offers compassion, clarity, and hope.
To find out more about Diane, her book and her work:
https://dianedanzebrink.com
https://menopausesupport.co.uk/
My blog on PMDD: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/lostinsideOur story with loss of fertility & childlessness: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/492a29c1/loss-of-fertility-chris-and-claire-sandys-part-1
Sadly, since the podcast aired, the group I mentioned, Together in Surgical Menopause, had to close as a group.
Send us a text
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thesilentwhy.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn
What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods
Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. -
#126. Let's Chat... about seeing grief as an adventure.
Welcome to another Letâs Chat episode, where instead of continuing our 101 Types of Loss list, I sit down with guests who have expertise and personal insight into different aspects of loss.
In this episode, I (Claire) have the pleasure of talking with Bianca Neumann, the Assistant Director of Bereavement at Sue Ryder â a charity dedicated to providing the right support, at the right time, for people who are end of life or grieving.We explore the idea of grief as an adventure - what it is, what it isnât, and how we can navigate its unfamiliar terrain. Bianca shares insights on how grief is often misrepresented, the power of support groups, and why learning to self-soothe in sorrow matters.
We also talk about the idea that while we canât choose our losses, we can choose how we respond. And we reflect on one powerful question: What do you want from life?
Also, Bianca adds a tool to my metaphorical shed, which is bursting with resources to help us grow through grief.For more about Bianca and Sue Ryder's work (including their Grief Kind Spaces), visit:
https://www.sueryder.org/authors/bianca-neumann/
https://www.sueryder.org/our-campaigns/grief-deserves-better/https://www.sueryder.org/grief-support/
Send us a text
Support the show
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thesilentwhy.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn
What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods
Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. -
#125. What impact can possessions have on grief? The lack of them, the loss of them, too many of them etc.
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, exploring asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
Loss #61 of 101: Loss of possessionsIn this episode we welcome Naomi Westerman, a playwright, screenwriter, and author from South East London. Naomi's experienced profound loss from a young age, and with that, the difficult task of sorting through her loved onesâ possessions.
Naomi shares about the emotional weight of dealing with a parent's belongings after they die, the unexpected and sometimes painful discoveries made during this process, and how our personal experiences, relationships, and circumstances shape the way we interact with these items.
She also talks openly about her two-year journey to sort through her mumâs house and the surprising childhood object she still treasures, and the special jumper she chose for her dadâs burial.
Naomi has also wrestled with the difficult "why" questions that can arise in grief â Why me? Why did this happen? So, she shares with us what has helped her find healing, connection, and hope.
To find out more about Naomi and her book, Happy Death Club, visit:http://www.naomiwesterman.com
http://www.happydeathclub.org
http://www.instagram.com/naomi_writes_deathSend us a text
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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods
Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. -
#124. Let's Chat... about how writing and running can help us through grief.
Welcome to another Letâs Chat episode, where instead of continuing our 101 Types of Loss list, I sit down with guests who have personal insight into different aspects of loss.
In this episode, I (Claire) have the pleasure of talking with fellow podcaster and writer, Justin Creps. Justin is a teacher based in Ohio and co-hosts the podcast Writing in Progress, which is how I first discovered him.
Justin and I share a deep love for podcasting and writing - though heâs also an avid runner, which is where our similarities take a sharp turn! But when I learned how both writing and running helped him process grief, I was keen to chat about it.Justin had shared a powerful blog post with me, one he wrote in 2022 about navigating the grief of his wifeâs miscarriage. His story is a moving reminder that we all process loss in our own ways, and it sparked an important conversation about the role of creativity in grief.
In this episode, we explore writing as a tool for processing grief (fiction or nonfiction), how lifeâs hardest moments shape us as writers, the unexpected ways helping others can also help us heal, and how running plays an important role in Justinâs journey.
This is an honest, heartfelt conversation about grief, resilience, and the power of storytelling. I canât wait for you to hear it.
Find out more:
Justin and his writing: https://www.justincreps.com
'Hey Logan' blog post: https://jmcmarathon.blogspot.com/2022/02/hey-logan.html?view=flipcard'"Why did it matter?" - My final thoughts to the class of '22' blog post: https://jmcmarathon.blogspot.com/2022/06/why-did-it-matter-my-final-thoughts-to.html?view=flipcard
'The Red Line' blog post: https://jmcmarathon.blogspot.com/2021/04/the-red-line.html?view=flipcardWriting in Progress podcast: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1124339 https://www.instagram.c
Send us a text
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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods
Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. -
#123. Can hope be found in 101 different types of loss?
We're well on our way to finding out, as we reach another milestone!
We've hit loss number 60 on our mission to explore 101 different types of permanent loss, meaning we only have 41 (!) to go. Now over halfway to our goal.
In this episode, we (Chris & Claire Sandys) pause briefly to discuss life in general (something new we thought we'd try!), the last batch of losses (51-60), and what nuggets of wisdom we've taken from each guest.
We're loving every second of talking to others on this podcast, but we're also learning a lot about healthy ways to process our own grief, whether childlessness, pets, relatives, friends, health, or even just the day-to-day losses we sometimes face.
And the not-yet-famous-but-might-be-one-day 'Hermontage' is back! As we, once again, mix together the last 10 guests' Hermans. If you don't know what a Herman is, check out the link below.
Huge thanks to Thea Rickard, Mark Field, Laura Burns, Lisa Newman, Kay Backhouse, Jared Altic, Rachel Hart, Dannie-Lu Carr, Ken Anderson and Bex Eyles.
If you'd like to see our guests and encourage them, pop over to our social media for the latest collage of their lovely faces and hit 'like'.
Full list of our 101 losses: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/101lossesSend us a text
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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
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Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. -
#122. Let's Chat... about how the Covid pandemic reshaped important death rituals.
These 'Letâs Chat' episodes are conversations with guests who have experience/expertise in a particular area of loss.
In this episode, I (Claire Sandys) chat to Natasha Mikles who is an assistant professor at Texas State University.
Natasha is a scholar of stories about death and what happens next, and researches traditions related to death and grief around the world (especially in Tibet and the Americas). Her most recent book, âShattered Grief: How the Pandemic Transformed the Spirituality of Death in Americaâ, examines how Covid-19 affected the spirituality of death and the grieving rituals surrounding it.Grief is not just a personal experience, it is a community journey shaped by rituals that connect us to the dead and each other. This conversation reveals how Covid-19 drastically altered the rituals we rely on during loss, redefining our understanding of mourning.
We explore the fascinating world of death rituals across different cultures, including the Tibetan sky burial ceremony. Natasha and I reflect on how the pandemic forced religious communities to innovate, balancing tradition with contemporary needs, often using technology as a bridge to maintain connection in times of isolation.
This episode discusses the vital role of community in mourning, the psychological impact of Covid-related deaths, the importance of ritual, how other cultures and religions honour and recognise death, and how Covid-grief can differ from other forms of grief.Plus, how you can have your body eaten by vultures in the US ...legally!
For more about Natasha: www.hellscholar.com
For her book:
https://cup.columbia.edu/book/shattered-grief/9780231558921
Amazon: https://gogl.to/3MzdSend us a text
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thesilentwhy.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn
What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods
Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. -
#121. Go on, be honest, can you understand why someone who's getting remarried, or celebrating a miracle pregnancy, or beginning a new job, might be experiencing some unhappiness alongside the cheer?
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, exploring whether hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
Loss #60 of 101: Loss in happy life transitions
In this episode, we meet Bex Eyles from Berkshire in England. She's a professional counsellor who joined us to talk about the sneaky grief that can weave its way into lifeâs celebrations.
And we feel itâs important to say that just because grief can show up in these moments it doesnât mean joy and gratitude arenât there too. Bex, like so many others, has felt immense happiness and gratitude in her lifeâs changes, but sheâs also honest about the unexpected emotions that surfaced at the same time, and we're really grateful she was happy to explore these with us.Bex has navigated bereavement, divorce, fertility struggles and loss of time, and opens up about the unexpected emotions like fear, loss and guilt, that came with suddenly being pregnant after believing it might never happen. She talks about the joy, the fear of finally having what she longed for, and how, as a counsellor, she navigated her grief and processed these complex feelings.
Acknowledging the emotions of loss in a joyful life transition doesnât diminish the happiness or gratitude felt in those moments. Both can coexist, and thatâs okay.
For more about Bex visit: www.pineforesttherapies.com
Send us a text
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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods
Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. -
#120. Well, after our 'looking ahead to Christmas' episode, how did it go? Were our festive hearts filled with joy? Or were there tears?!
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss, and we're Chris & Claire Sandys, your childless hosts.
Every year, we dedicate an episode to sharing our thoughts and feelings about the Christmas season - before, and after, it happens. Now that the holiday buzz has settled and a new year has begun, weâre back to reflect on how Christmas 2024 unfolded, whether our intentional choices helped us enjoy it, and how weâre stepping into 2025.Includes; Sherlock Holmes, cinnamon buns, advent calendars, and Chris' meat monologue explaining Meat Chicken!
And if you want some questions to reflect on as you enter a new year, here's the 10 we mention in the episode:
1. Personal high moment/experience for you individually this year.
2. Personal lowest moment of the year.
3. Joint best memory
4. Joint hardest memory.
5. Biggest personal dream you have for the future.
6. Biggest fear you have for the future.
7. Something you don't want to take into next year.
8. Something you really want to take into next year.
9. 3 things you want to achieve this year.
10. 3 things you want to stop/be better at/improve on.
To listen to our pre-Christmas episode, 'Chris and Claire's Chatty Christmas Catch-up', visit: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/793f6bd9/chris-and-claires-chatty-christmas-catch-upSend us a text
Support the show
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thesilentwhy.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn
What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods
Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. -
#119. Life is hectic. Sometimes we simply need to stop for a moment. And thatâs what this short episode is all about.
Oh, and the beautiful sounds of a distant thunderstorm that I recorded in Belgium.
Welcome to The Silent Why podcast, here to help you navigate loss and grief, and possibly... find hope.
These very short, episodes will pop up every now and then to help you take a moment to check in and see how you're really feeling.
Less than 7 minutes total, including 2 minutes of time for you and you alone - join me (Claire Sandys, podcast host) in an imaginary place and allow yourself to press pause on life for a short while.
And for this episode I'm asking you to sit by a window with me and watch the beautiful storm on the horizon from our Air BnB in Belgium. Listen to the rain and thunder, watch the lightning and take a moment to think about things as you enter a new year.Send us a text
Support the show
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thesilentwhy.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn
What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com
Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy
Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter
How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving
Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods
Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com
Thank you for listening. - Show more
