Episodes
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Join our new Masterclass offering for couples wanting to reopen their hearts after conflict.
👉Sign up HERE: https://www.thesacredwe.com/rupture-and-repair
What does radical self-love actually look like when life refuses to cooperate? When you're in the middle of a custody battle that drags on for 13 years? When your son goes no-contact for six and a half years and you don't know where he lives? When every relationship you try to build seems to surface the same wound in a new disguise?
In this episode of The Sacred We, Mike and Courtney sit down with Allana Pratt -- Ivy League-educated intimacy expert, author of The One Is Bullshit, Becoming the One Is Brilliant and Beautiful, and host of the Intimate Conversations podcast. Allana has spent over 20 years helping people dissolve shame and return to themselves. And in this conversation, she doesn't just teach it -- she lives it out loud.
She shares the whole unfiltered story: the two divorces, the 13-year custody battle, the night she called her son's father a name so awful her coach reflected it right back on her -- and how that moment cracked the victim story open. The six-plus years of silence from her son. The 90-second birthday call that broke the dam. The lunch in New York where everything unraveled -- and then the moment she took full ownership for her pain and watched the veil around her son crack.
And through all of it: the fierce, devotional, imperfect, never-give-up practice of loving yourself.
About Allana Pratt
Allana Pratt is an intimacy expert, global coach, and author with over 20 years of experience helping people dissolve shame and move into radical self-love. She has been featured on CBS, TLC, Fox, and over 850 podcasts. Find her at allanaprat.com -- where you can connect with her podcast, Intimate Conversations, her Patreon community, and her books.
Website: www.AllanaPratt.com
Free Gift: www.allanapratt.com/top5mistakes
Book a Call with Allana: www.allanapratt.com/connect
Use a discount code: READYNOW for $400 savings!
Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/allanapratt/
Join The Intimate World: www.patreon.com/allanapratt
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachallanapratt
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/allanapratt
Work With Mike & Courtney:
The Initiated Man -- Mike's men's community for men ready to do the real work. https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/TIM
Rupture & Repair Masterclass -- For couples ready to heal and reconnect after conflict. July 20th. https://www.thesacredwe.com/rupture-and-repair
Private Couples Work -- Immersive 2:2 private container with Mike & Courtney. https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 →https://www.thesacredwe.com/2-2-container-details
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
Work with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast
Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4
Email:
Website:
https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/
https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe
www.courtneywren.com
Instagram:
@MikeElliott.Relating
@courtneywren.relating
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Join our new Masterclass offering for individuals and couples wanting to reopen their hearts after conflict.
👉Sign up HERE: https://www.thesacredwe.com/rupture-and-repair
In this episode of The Sacred We, Mike and Courtney go into some of the most honest, vulnerable territory they've shared yet. Mike's shadow: the numbness and freeze that comes from losing two primary attachments before his first birthday -- and how his body stopped showing signs of wanting connection even when he desperately craves it. Courtney's shadow: a fierce, protective fight response to masculine energy, forged through a childhood where she had to battle hard to protect herself.And then they get into the real work: what it looks like to actually love a partner in their shadow -- not fix it, not flee from it, not enable it -- but be in a real, boundaried, tender relationship with it. Together.
What "relating with your partner's shadow" actually means -- and why "they just need to do their own work" misses the whole point of intimacy
Mike's shadow -- the freeze and disconnect pattern -- what it looks like from the outside (blank face, no visual cues) and what's actually happening inside (deep longing for connection)
Courtney's shadow -- the fear of the masculine -- the fierce protector that had to fight hard to survive, and what it means to come into relationship with a man who embodies power
Love without enabling -- why letting the shadow drive the bus destroys the relationship, and how to hold both love AND boundary at the same time
The mirror and reflect practice -- how Courtney names what she sees ("you feel far away") to help Mike access what his own body can't show him
Making requests instead of managing -- how to invite your partner out of the shadow by asking for what you actually need, rather than pushing against what they're not giving
How your partner's shadow is your teacher -- why the places they trigger you most are the exact places you get to love yourself better
The gift of staying -- what becomes possible after years of learning each other's shadows that no shorter, easier relationship could give you
Go Deeper With Mike & Courtney:
The Initiated Man -- Mike's men's community for men who are ready to understand and move through their own shadows -- in the company of other men who get it. itsmikeelliott.com/TIM
Work With Mike & Courtney -- Private couples work and individual offerings for those ready to go all the way in.
https://www.thesacredwe.com/2-2-container-details👉Sign up for our couples list HERE: https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 →https://www.thesacredwe.com/2-2-container-details
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
Work with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast
🏹Join the Initiated Man →https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/TIM
Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4
Email:
Website:
www.itsmikeelliott.com
https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe
www.courtneywren.com
Instagram:
@MikeElliott.Relating
@courtneywren.relating
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Missing episodes?
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Want to turn moments of conflict into opportunities for intimacy?
👉Sign up for our couples list HERE: https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe
Your children are not just watching you. They are becoming you.
This is not a conversation about perfect parenting. It's a conversation about the invisible field that lives between you and your partner -- and how that field is shaping your children's nervous systems, their sense of safety, their capacity for love, and the relationships they will one day choose.
If you are a parent -- or want to be one -- this episode will change how you see your relationship forever.
3 Key Points Covered:
Your relationship becomes your child's nervous system -- The coherence (or incoherence) between you and your partner becomes the nest within which your child develops. Their sense of safety, their regulation, their capacity to stay connected through difficulty -- all of it is shaped by the relational field you hold together.
Your wounds become their blueprint -- Mike shares his own story of being adopted twice in the first 14 months of his life and the abandonment wounding that followed him -- and how, without awareness, that blueprint was handed directly to Cedar. The patterns we haven't healed become the patterns our children inherit.
How you treat your partner is how your child will treat themselves and their future partners -- From Cedar saying "I'm so stupid" after hearing it used around him, to mirroring a parent's shutdown behaviour during conflict, our children are always watching. What we model becomes their normal.
You'll Also Hear:
The story of Cedar's injuries -- including the ambulance call -- and what Mike and Courtney realized about the direct link to their disconnection
Mike's personal history with adoption, abandonment wounding, and how he unknowingly handed his blueprint to his son
What toxic fighting wires children to believe about love and connection -- and why they may grow up feeling that intimacy is dangerous
How to navigate co-parenting with honor and respect even when things aren't amicable -- and why talking badly about your partner in front of your child fragments them internally
The constellation practice of gratitude that Courtney has been bringing to their relationship: "Thank you for making me a mama"
The most powerful closing line of the episode: "How you tend the shared nervous system of your family is the love story your children will live"
Go Deeper With Mike & Courtney:
The Initiated Man -- Mike's online men's community for men who are ready to break the patterns they've inherited and become the embodied, connected fathers and partners they know they can be.
🏹Join the Initiated Man →https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/TIM
Couples Work with Mike & Courtney -- Private 2:2 intensive containers for couples who are ready to rewrite the blueprint -- for themselves, and for the next generation.
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 →https://www.thesacredwe.com/2-2-container-details
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
Work with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
If something's pulling you toward this work, let's talk. Book a free, no-pressure call to explore whether it's the right fit for you and your partner - Book Your Call →Tune-in Call with Courtney
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast
💎 Join the Waitlist for The Holy Mama Membership →https://www.courtneywren.com/holymamawaitlist
Email:
Website:
www.itsmikeelliott.com
https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe
www.courtneywren.com
Instagram:
@MikeElliott.Relating
@courtneywren.relating
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Want to turn moments of conflict into opportunities for intimacy?
👉Sign up for a FREE guide to 3 Somatic Practices for Deeper Connection HERE: https://www.thesacredwe.com/deeperconnection
You want him to open up. He wants to open up. So why isn't it working?
In this episode of The Sacred We, Mike and Courtney Elliott go deep into one of the most painful and confusing dynamics in modern relationships: the woman who desperately wants to feel her man, and the man who desperately wants to let her in—but can't. Not because he doesn't care. Not because he's broken. But because no one ever gave him the map.
Mike draws on over a decade of sitting in men's circles, coaching men in deep six-month containers, and his own lived journey of trying to open—and failing, until he finally understood why. Courtney brings her perspective as a longtime therapist who thought she understood men, until working alongside Mike revealed a world she had never been taught to see.
What unfolds is a conversation that will change how you see the men in your life—and yourself.
Emotional Inspection vs. Safe Harbor — Why questions like 'Are you okay?' trigger a man's defense system, and what to say insteadDecoding the Silence — What his silence actually means (it's not what you think)—and how to hold space that finally lets him arriveThe Secret Currency: Respect Precedes Vulnerability — Why criticism and correction—even when valid—will never open a man's heart, and what actually turns his health back on
3 Keys Covered in This Episode:You'll Also Hear:
Why do most men read 'What's wrong?" as a performance review—and go into fight-or-flight
The cultural wounding that taught boys that vulnerability equals weakness
Mike's story of reading hundreds of books trying to open up—and why none of it worked until he had the right relational containerCourtney's grief around the ways she unknowingly hurt men—and what that moment of honesty opened in MikeWhy men are more neurologically sensitive than we think—and what that means for how we approach themThe "relational deposit" practice that brings a collapsed man back into his strength👉Sign up for our couples list HERE: https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 →https://www.thesacredwe.com/2-2-container-details
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
Work with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
If something's pulling you toward this work, let's talk. Book a free, no-pressure call to explore whether it's the right fit for you and your partner - Book Your Call →Tune-in Call with Courtney
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast
🏹Join the Initiated Man →https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/TIM
💎 Join the Waitlist for The Holy Mama Membership →https://www.courtneywren.com/holymamawaitlist
Email:
Website:
www.itsmikeelliott.com
https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe
Instagram:@MikeElliott.Relating
@courtneywren.relating
Loved This Episode?Leave us a 5-star review. Share it with a woman who loves a man she wants to understand better—or a man who's been trying and doesn't know why it's not landing. Tag us at: @MikeElliott.Relating | @courtneywren.relating
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Curious about our new Masterclass?
👉Sign up for Seen & Heard a Sacred We deep dive: https://www.thesacredwe.com/Heard&Seen
If something's pulling you toward this work, let's talk. Book a free, no-pressure call to explore whether it's the right fit for you and your partner - Book Your Call →Tune-in Call with Courtney
What happens inside your body when you don’t feel heard? Your nervous system reads it as danger. Your defenses go up. And the very person you love becomes someone you can’t quite reach.
In this episode of The Sacred We, Mike and Courtney go deep into one of the most fundamental wounds in a relationship: the pain of feeling dismissed and invisible. They open with a raw, real story from their own week—Courtney asking to be met with more touch and warmth during a busy, full season, and Mike sharing his moment in the kitchen where he chose to move toward her, slowly and intentionally, hand on her heart, meeting her eyes. What unfolded was alchemy.
This isn’t just a love story. It’s a masterclass in the nervous system, attachment, and the sacred practice of learning to truly see each other.
Why being heard and seen is a biological need, not just an emotional preference
What your nervous system does when it doesn’t feel safe enough to receive love
The surprising truth about why your partner may not be withholding—they literally can’t hear you
How to deliver what you need to be heard in a way that actually lands
Dan Siegel’s integration framework and why relational attunement is the missing ingredient
BONUS: The one thing you can do to cut through your partner’s defenses instantly—even mid-conflict
Neuro-ception and why the nervous system scans for safety before it can open to love
Curiosity as a relational practice in triggered moments
The difference between authenticity and relational attunement—and why you need both
When you’re not hearing each other vs. when you literally can’t receive
The Heard & Seen Framework—practiced live in a real story
Heard & Seen Masterclass — Sunday, June 7th, 6–7:30pm PST | $97 | For couples and individuals calling in sacred partnership. Teaching, Q&A, and somatic practice. Recording available.
Mapping Your Relational Imprint — Courtney’s 1:1 private container for deep individual somatic and attachment work. Uncover the blueprint driving your patterns in love.
Couples Work with Mike & Courtney — Private 2:2 intensive containers for couples ready to do the deep work together with full support.
👉Sign up for our couples list HERE: https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 → https://www.thesacredwe.com/2-2-container-details
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
Work with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast
🏹Join the Initiated Man →https://www.skool.com/theinitiatedman
💎 Join the Waitlist for The Holy Mama Membership →https://www.courtneywren.com/holymamawaitlist
Email:
Website:
www.itsmikeelliott.com
https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe
www.courtneywren.com
Instagram:
@MikeElliott.Relating
@courtneywren.relating
Share it with someone who needs to hear this. Leave us a 5-star review and tell us what landed for you. Send us a DM we love hearing from you.
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Ready to go deeper? Join Mike and Courtney on June 8th for a 90-minute live deep dive on the To Be Seen and Heard Framework.
👉Sign up for Seen & Heard a Sacred We deep dive: https://www.thesacredwe.com/Heard&Seen
If you clicked this, some part of you doesn't feel seen. This episode starts by honouring that ache — and then it gives you a map.
In this raw and deeply personal solo episode, Mike Elliott traces the arc of his own unseenness from childhood to adulthood — and distils everything he's learned into three grounded, practical points.
It starts with a rupture. Mike had a best friend from the age of 5 to 12. A fight, a shame spiral, and no one to guide him through the repair. His parents didn't notice. No one attuned. So he disappeared — three years of isolation, a skateboarding obsession, and the quiet belief that something was fundamentally wrong with him.
Then, at 16, he became a lifeguard. People saw him. Women wanted to date him. His whole reality cracked open. Not because he'd changed — but because he'd finally found a mirror. And what that mirror showed him is one of the most powerful illustrations of what feeling seen actually does to a human being.
This episode covers:
The two root causes of not feeling seen — and why one of them has nothing to do with your partner
Why our culture has trained us to immediately reciprocate compliments rather than actually receive them
The sabotage cycle: attracting love, then pushing it away — and what's underneath it
What's actually needed: teaching someone how to see you vs. waiting for them to figure it out
The bedroom moment — Mike asks Courtney to see him as a father, slows down to let it land, and watches something unexpected happen from the overflow
The 30-second practice that starts rewiring your capacity to receive
"Every single human being needs to feel seen, heard, and understood to integrate their lived experience and truly belong."
If you want to go deeper, Mike and Courtney are hosting a 90-minute live deep dive on June 8th — going two inches wide and two miles deep on the To Be Seen and Heard framework. Details in the show notes.
And if this episode is calling you toward the relational work itself — Courtney's Mapping Your Imprints Masterclass, her 1:1 private container, and Mike and Courtney's 2:2 couples work are all available. Links below.
We love you. Let yourself be seen.
Book a free, no-pressure call to explore whether it's the right fit for you and your partner - Book Your Call →Tune-in Call with Courtney
👉Sign up for our couples list HERE: https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 → https://www.thesacredwe.com/sacred-relating-couples
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
Work with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast
🏹Join the Initiated Man →https://www.skool.com/theinitiatedman
💎 Join the Waitlist for The Holy Mama Membership →https://www.courtneywren.com/holymamawaitlist
Follow: @sacredrelating | @MikeElliott.Relating | @courtneywren.relating
Website: www.itsmikeelliott.com
https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe
www.courtneywren.com
Email: -
Ready to do the relational work — not just the individual work? Mike and Courtney's 2:2 couples container holds both of you, tracks the patterns in real time, and wires you toward connection.
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 →https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe
What if the most well-intentioned support you're getting is quietly wiring you further from your partner?
In this disruptive, deeply honest episode, Mike and Courtney challenge one of the most common beliefs in the personal growth world: that doing more individual work will fix what's broken in your relationship.
It won't. And they've both lived it.
Courtney spent the first several years of her career as a therapist watching the same thing happen over and over: the more she affirmed each person's individual pain, the more separation grew. Mike worked with his first couple using 15 years of coaching skill — and things got more volatile. Both of them kept hitting the same wall: individual support, without relational training and advocacy for the relationship itself, doesn't heal the we. It erodes it.
Research backs this up. Studies show that therapists without relational training will pathologize the absent partner, affirm boundaries that create distance, and push individuals toward personal empowerment in ways that quietly chip away at the bond.
In this episode:
Why individual work and relational work are completely different skill sets
The three pieces of bad advice most commonly given by therapists not in relationship: more boundaries, take more space, they're not ready
Why "take a month apart" in rupture is often the worst possible advice — and what the nervous system actually needs
"Neurons that fire together, wire together" — and why hearts and nervous systems are no different
The three phases of relational consciousness: Me, You-Me, and We
Why interdependence is not codependence
A real script for teaching even single friends to hold the sacred we
The honest report card for every support person in your life: is it leading to more connection?
"You have to go through it to grow through it." This episode will challenge you, orient you, and give you a new lens for every support relationship in your life.
Ready to do the actual relational work?
Mike and Courtney offer 2:2 couples containers, Courtney's Mapping Your Imprints 1:1 private container, and her upcoming Masterclass. Links in show notes.
We love you. Turn towards each other. 💛
Curious about Mapping your Imprinting with Courtney?
If something's pulling you toward this work, let's talk. Book a free, no-pressure call to explore whether it's the right fit for you and your partner - Book Your Call →Tune-in Call with Courtney
👉Sign up Courtney’s Masterclass: https://www.courtneywren.com/mapping-your-relational-imprint-sales-page
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 → https://www.thesacredwe.com/sacred-relating-couples
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
Work with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast
🏹Join the Initiated Man Waitlist→ https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/initiated-man-waitlist
💎 Join the Waitlist for The Holy Mama Membership →https://www.courtneywren.com/holymamawaitlist
Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4
Email:
Website:
www.itsmikeelliott.com
https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe
www.courtneywren.com
Instagram:
@MikeElliott.Relating
@courtneywren.sacredrelating
**MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS: **https://mindfulmeds.io/Promo Code: TOGETHER
THE SKIN DEEP CARDS: https://shop.theskindeep.com/collections/all
Promo Code: Together15
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Curious about Mapping your Imprinting with Courtney?
If something's pulling you toward this work, let's talk. Book a free, no-pressure call to explore whether it's the right fit for you and your partner - Book Your Call →Tune-in Call with Courtney
What if the relationship patterns you keep repeating aren't about the person you're with — but about what's already written in your body, your DNA, and your ancestral field?
In this solo episode, somatic therapist and attachment specialist Courtney Wren introduces one of the most powerful frameworks she knows: relational imprinting. It's the hidden architecture of your love life — shaped by your ancestors, your conception, your time in the womb, your birth, and the first three years of your life. Before you had any conscious memory. Before you could even speak.
Courtney opens with her own story: a deep bond with her father that ruptured when she turned three, because of trauma he was carrying from generations before. She didn't understand it as a child — but she lived it for decades. In every long-term relationship, around year three, the same pattern would unfold. Men would pull away. The little girl would get angry, then go silent. Then the relationship would end. Until she and Mike named it, worked with it as allies, and broke the cycle.
In this episode:
What an imprint is — and how 97% of relational patterns are rooted before conscious memory begins
Why wanting to "do it different" will never be enough — the patterns are too alive in the body
The difference between fate (living out the pattern) and destiny (consciously working with the material)
Why intimate partnership mirrors your imprint like nothing else — and why personal work alone has limits
The story of Cedar and how generational adoption trauma played out through Mike's young son
When two imprints "ping" — and why this is where most couples get permanently stuck
A client whose relationship with her teenage son transformed after clearing imprinting from her pregnancy
This is deep, real, and rooted in decades of somatic and constellation work. It will land in your mind, your body, and your cells.
Courtney's Mapping Your Imprints Private Container is now open — only 3 spots remaining.
3 sessions2 months of WhatsApp supportCourtney's full attention on your imprintingBook a free 20-minute tuning-in call via the link in the show notes →Tune-in Call with Courtney
An upcoming Mapping Your Imprints Masterclass is also on the horizon — get on Courtney's mailing list so you don't miss it. Link in show notes
We love you. Let this land.
👉Sign up Courtney’s Masterclass: https://www.courtneywren.com/mapping-your-relational-imprint-sales-page
👉Sign up for our couples list HERE: https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe
👉 Learn more here: https://www.thesacredwe.com/⭐
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 → https://www.thesacredwe.com/sacred-relating-couples
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
Work with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast
🏹Join the Initiated Man Waitlist→ https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/initiated-man-waitlist
💎 Join the Waitlist for The Holy Mama Membership →https://www.courtneywren.com/holymamawaitlist
Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4
Email:
Website:
www.itsmikeelliott.com
www.thesacredwe.com
www.courtneywren.com
Instagram:
@MikeElliott.Relating
@courtneywren.sacredrelating
**MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS: **https://mindfulmeds.io/Promo Code: TOGETHER
THE SKIN DEEP CARDS: https://shop.theskindeep.com/collections/all
Promo Code: Together15
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If something's pulling you toward this work, let's talk. Book a free, no-pressure call to explore whether it's the right fit for you and your partner - Book Your Call → Schedule Here
You long for it. You might not even have words for it yet. But something in your body knows — motherhood was never meant to be done alone.
In this intimate solo episode, Courtney sits down with her closest mama-sister, Skaia Warren — Oracle, village weaver, and mother to Aluna — for an honest, soul-nourishing conversation about what it actually takes to reclaim the mother village in modern life. Not the curated, cleaned-up version of connection. The real thing. The messy, inconvenient, deeply healing thing.
This is the Sacred We in sisterhood and motherhood — and it's one of the most important conversations we've ever had.
In This Episode:
Why so many mothers are isolated — and the nervous system reason it's so hard to reach out
The difference between curated connection and true village (and why only one actually fills you up)
What Skaia did when her daughter Aluna cried out from the womb: "Mama, where's my village?"
How Courtney and Skaia built deep sisterhood in the trenches — not when everything was perfect
The power of being witnessed in motherhood, even in the moments you're not proud of
Why weaving village is inconvenient — and why that's exactly the point
The sticky notes dynamic between children: what kids' relationship patterns reveal about ours
What "care" (not caretaking) really means in mama sisterhood
5 actionable things you can do right now to start building your village
📚 Resources:
📬 Sign up for Courtney's mailing list — upcoming webinars and short courses on motherhood, attachment & nervous system — https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
💑 Evolutionary Relationship: The Initiation — https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe
Connect with Skaia’s at her Instagram channel — https://www.instagram.com/skaiaschannel?igsh=c2xxZmRhMnpnMWZs
*If this episode landed in your heart, share it with a mama in your life who needs to hear it. And leave us a 5-star review — it helps us reach the mothers who are ready for this. 💛
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 → https://www.thesacredwe.com/sacred-relating-couples
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast🏹Join the Initiated Man Waitlist→ https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/initiated-man-waitlist
💎 Join the Waitlist for The Holy Mama Membership →https://www.courtneywren.com/holymamawaitlist
Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4
Email:
Website:
www.itsmikeelliott.com
www.sacredrelaring.com
www.courtneywren.com
Instagram:
@MikeElliott.Relating
@courtneywren.sacredrelating
**MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS: **https://mindfulmeds.io/Promo Code: TOGETHER
THE SKIN DEEP CARDS: https://shop.theskindeep.com/collections/all
Promo Code: Together15
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Curious about Evolutionary Relationship — The Initiation?
If something's pulling you toward this program, let's talk. Book a free, no-pressure call to explore whether it's the right fit for you and your partner - Book Your Call → Schedule Here
What does it actually look like to go from stuck, disconnected, and in the deepest grief of your life — to a love that radiates so strongly, people stop you on the street?
In this deeply moving episode, Mike and Courtney are joined by Jen and Eli — a real couple they've worked with closely over several years — to share the full arc of their relational journey. From anxiety-avoidance cycles and the devastating loss of their son, to a wedding that moved their community to tears and a marriage now rooted in conscious, sacred love.
This is what the work actually looks like. This is the evidence.
In This Episode:
How Jen and Eli went from a "power couple" surface image to hitting the painful patterns underneathLosing their son to an overdose — and how grief became the doorway to a deeper loveWhy Eli resisted the work at first (and the moment everything changed)The "sticky notes" exercise that helped them finally see each other clearlyWhat the Sacred We actually feels like in daily life — Eli's simple, powerful answerHow Jen learned to regulate her own fire instead of expecting Eli to walk into itThe moment the soul of the relationship clicked — and changed their marriage foreverWhy community and mentorship made the difference where therapy alone couldn'tHow their transformation is now radiating into their son's life and their entire communityResources:
📅 Book a free call with Mike or Courtney → Schedule Here
If Jen and Eli's story moved you, please leave us a 5-star review and share this episode with a couple you love. This is what's possible. 💛
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 → https://www.thesacredwe.com/sacred-relating-couples
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
Work with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast
🏹Join the Initiated Man Waitlist→ https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/initiated-man-waitlist
💎 Join the Waitlist for The Holy Mama Membership →https://www.courtneywren.com/holymamawaitlist
Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4
Email:
Website:
www.itsmikeelliott.com
www.thesacredwe.com
www.courtneywren.com
Instagram:
@MikeElliott.Relating
@courtneywren.sacredrelating
**MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS: **https://mindfulmeds.io/Promo Code: TOGETHER
THE SKIN DEEP CARDS: https://shop.theskindeep.com/collections/all
Promo Code: Together15
-
Curious about Evolutionary Relationship — The Initiation?
If something's pulling you toward this program, let's talk. Book a free, no-pressure call to explore whether it's the right fit for you and your partner - Book Your Call → Schedule Here
Most couples don't ask for help until the relationship is already bleeding.
In this episode, Mike and Courtney Elliott get personally vulnerable about what it actually costs to wait — and what becomes possible when you don't.
Courtney shares her experience across two long-term relationships where support came too late: years of patterns piling up, distance quietly hardening, and by the time help arrived, the gap had grown too wide. Mike shares how he showed up to couples therapy in his first marriage completely emotionally unavailable — and didn't even know it. His therapist told him she'd never met anyone like him. He took it as a compliment. It wasn't.
This episode covers:
Why the "wait until it's bad enough" pattern isn't just cultural — it's wired into us from childhood
How couples slowly normalize disconnection until the numbness becomes the relationship
The three phases of relational consciousness — Me, You-Me, and We — and what it takes to evolve into the third
How the inner child unconsciously steers the relationship toward its oldest wounds
A real couple who'd been struggling for 10 years — and reconnected in a single session
Why strong, thriving couples invest in support before crisis, not because of it
BONUS: The exact "We Language" framework to invite a resistant partner into support
If this is landing, the Evolutionary Relationship Program is open now. Don't wait for the crisis to decide you deserve something better.
If you’re ready to practice these tools inside a community of couples doing the work, we invite you to join us inside Evolutionary Relationship: The Initiation.
👉 Learn more here:https://www.thesacredwe.com/⭐
We love you. We see you. ❤️
Follow: @sacredrelating | thesacredwe.com
If this episode supported you, please leave a 5-star review.
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 → https://www.thesacredwe.com/sacred-relating-couples
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
Work with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast
🏹Join the Initiated Man Waitlist→ https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/initiated-man-waitlist
💎 Join the Waitlist for The Holy Mama Membership →https://www.courtneywren.com/holymamawaitlist
Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4
Email:
Website:
www.itsmikeelliott.com
www.sacredrelaring.com
www.courtneywren.com
Instagram:
@MikeElliott.Relating
@courtneywren.sacredrelating
**MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS: **https://mindfulmeds.io/Promo Code: TOGETHER
THE SKIN DEEP CARDS: https://shop.theskindeep.com/collections/all
Promo Code: Together15
-
If you are feeling the pull to join our couples program Evolutionary Relationship- the Initiation, but also have some specific questions please connect with us.
Book Your Call → https://calendly.com/transform-rxg/evolutionary-relationship-discovery-call
The Attachment Truth Every Parent Needs to Know
What if the moment your child seems "totally fine" without you is actually the most important sign to pay attention to?
In this solo episode, Courtney — attachment therapist, somatic therapist, and mama — shares the developmental science that changed everything about how she parents her son Cedar. It's the information she wishes she'd had from day one. And it's something most parents have never heard.
You'll Learn:
What "defensive attachment" is — and why a happy, unbothered child may actually be in distressThe age children can actually hold connection while you're away (most parents are shocked)Why our culture gaslights mothers about their own instinctsHow to repair attachment ruptures — even ones that have already happenedThe 4 principles to anchor you as a conscious parent right nowTimestamps:
[0:00] — Introduction from Mike[1:30] — Sacred We community update: almost 100 five-star ratings![3:00] — The gem Courtney wishes she'd known as a new mama[4:30] — How to receive this without shame[8:00] — What attachment really is: the GPS system for connection[11:00] — The retreat story: Courtney leaves at 6am and what her body said[16:30] — The sacred developmental sequence of attachment explained[18:00] — The 4-hour rule: what age can kids hold connection with distance?[20:00] — Defensive attachment: why your child looks "totally fine"[26:00] — Watching defensive attachment unfold in real time[29:00] — The repair: what Cedar finally said ("You left me. I thought you were gone forever.")[35:00] — Cultural myths that get in the way of this landing[38:00] — The real sacrifices — and the real rewards[45:00] — What it looks like when a child IS ready to be away[47:00] — 4 key principles to anchor you[49:00] — Free PDF download + Gordon Neufeld Institute recommendationResources:
📥 Free PDF Guide — https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HIDD6eC6_9fdVbE8UFmBtwvzAhuOZqDy/view?usp=drive_link
📖 Gordon Neufeld Institute — Power to Parent online course - https://www.neufeldinstitute.org/
📅 Book a free call with Mike or Courtney — https://calendly.com/transform-rxg/evolutionary-relationship-discovery-call
💫 Evolutionary Relationship: The Initiation — https://www.thesacredwe.com/
Loved this episode? We're SO close to 100 five-star ratings on Spotify — screenshot your review and email it to us so we can celebrate with you! 💛
If you’re ready to practice these tools inside a community of couples doing the work, we invite you to join us inside Evolutionary Relationship: The Initiation.
👉 Learn more here:https://www.thesacredwe.com/⭐
If this episode supported you, please leave a 5-star review.
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 → https://www.thesacredwe.com/sacred-relating-couples
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
Work with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast
🏹Join the Initiated Man Waitlist→ https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/initiated-man-waitlist
💎 Join the Waitlist for The Holy Mama Membership →https://www.courtneywren.com/holymamawaitlist
Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4
Email:
Website:
www.itsmikeelliott.com
www.sacredrelaring.com
www.courtneywren.com
Instagram:
@MikeElliott.Relating
@courtneywren.sacredrelating
**MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS: **https://mindfulmeds.io/Promo Code: TOGETHER
THE SKIN DEEP CARDS: https://shop.theskindeep.com/collections/all
Promo Code: Together15
-
If you are feeling the pull to join our couples program Evolutionary Relationship- the Initiation, but have some questions, let's hop on a no- pressure call to feel into it together so that you and your partner can get clear on what the program is and whether it's a good fit for you. Book Your Call → https://calendly.com/transform-rxg/evolutionary-relationship-discovery-call
Are you feeling like the world is spinning faster than ever — and wondering how to keep up without burning out?
In this episode, Mike and Courtney dive deep into what ancient prophecies, astrology, and spiritual teachers have long called The Great Change — a cosmic shift that's accelerating everything: technology, relationships, consciousness, and the structures of society itself.
From the Hopi prophecy to Gene Keys, from Peru's ancient stone portals to Richard Rudd's teachings on the new human, Mike and Courtney weave together timeless wisdom and modern insight to help you understand why the world feels so chaotic right now — and what you can do to not just survive it, but thrive within it.
In this episode, you'll discover:
Why time is speeding up — and what ancient cultures predicted about this exact moment in history
The difference between the electromagnetic energy system (old) and crystalline energy (new) — and how this shift is affecting your nervous system
The Hopi prophecy's powerful metaphor of "getting in the canoe" and letting go of the banks
How the ego tries to keep you gripping for certainty — and why letting go actually feels better
Why your intimate relationships are your greatest resource for navigating collective chaos
The Gene Keys concept of your vocation key — and how your deepest wound is actually your greatest gift to the world
What Richard Rudd revealed at his 2024 London talk about the "new human" and the significance of 2027
Why interdependence — not hyper-independence — is where we truly thrive
Whether you're navigating uncertainty in your relationship, your career, or your inner world — this episode is an invitation to stop fighting the current and start riding it.
Hit play, get in the canoe, and let's go.
Timestamps:
00:00 — Introduction
02:00 — About Evolutionary Relationship: The Initiation
04:30 — Ancient prophecies & Peru
07:00 — Crystalline energy vs. electromagnetic energy
09:30 — The Hopi prophecy
11:00 — The ego's grip: Certainty vs. trust
13:00 — Splitting into two dimensions of experience
20:00 — Gene Keys & Richard Rudd
22:00 — Your vocation key
31:00 — Why the great change will strain relationships
35:00 — The initiation: Tools AND transformation
Resources & References Mentioned:
Gene Keys by Richard Rudd — genkeys.com
The Hopi Prophecy — search 'Hopi Blue Star Prophecy' to read the full teaching
If you’re ready to practice these tools inside a community of couples doing the work, we invite you to join us inside Evolutionary Relationship: The Initiation.
👉 Learn more here:https://www.thesacredwe.com/⭐
If this episode supported you, please leave a 5-star review.
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 → https://www.thesacredwe.com/sacred-relating-couples
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
Work with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast
🏹Join the Initiated Man Waitlist→ https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/initiated-man-waitlist
💎 Join the Waitlist for The Holy Mama Membership →https://www.courtneywren.com/holymamawaitlist
Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4
Email:
Website:
www.itsmikeelliott.com
www.sacredrelaring.com
www.courtneywren.com
Instagram:
@MikeElliott.Relating
@courtneywren.sacredrelating
MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS: https://mindfulmeds.io/
Promo Code: TOGETHER
THE SKIN DEEP CARDS: https://shop.theskindeep.com/collections/all
Promo Code: Together15
-
If you are feeling the pull to join our couples program Evolutionary Relationship- the Initiation, but also have some specific questions, or want to know more, let's hop on a no- pressure call to feel into it together so that you and your partner can get clear on what the program is and whether it's a good fit for you. Book Your Call → https://calendly.com/transform-rxg/evolutionary-relationship-discovery-call
Jealousy in relationships isn’t just about insecurity — it often reveals a deeper wound of feeling “not enough.”
In this episode of the Together Podcast, Mike and Courtney explore how jealousy, comparison, and fear of replacement arise inside intimate partnerships. Beneath the surface reactions of control, accusation, or emotional withdrawal often lives a deeper story: the not-enough wound.
Drawing from their own relationship experiences and years of working with couples, Mike and Courtney unpack how jealousy can become either destructive or transformative depending on how partners meet it.
In this conversation you’ll learn:
What jealousy is really trying to reveal in relationshipsHow the “not enough” wound shows up in both partnersWhy comparison creates distance and disconnectionHow couples can turn jealousy into deeper intimacyWhat it means to heal side by side rather than aloneRather than seeing jealousy as something to eliminate, Mike and Courtney explore how it can become a doorway into vulnerability, truth, and deeper partnership.
Chapters:
00:00 Jealousy Is Not The Threat
00:30 Three Part Roadmap
01:43 Postpartum Insecurity Story
08:48 Naming Needs And Safety
10:55 The Cabin Reassurance Moment
19:51 Why Being Fine Disconnects
24:59 Thirds And Paper Cuts
29:26 Polyamory And Capacity
31:24 Social Settings Coping Pattern
32:40 Coping With Jealousy
34:11 Reaching For Vulnerability
36:42 Love Is Tender
37:47 Creating Safety Together
39:22 Support And Practice
43:17 Self Responsibility And Growth
48:02 Jealousy Versus Disconnection
51:12 Mike’s Temple Trigger
57:42 Needs Under The Jealousy
01:05:05 Program Invitation And Closing
If you’re ready to practice these tools inside a community of couples doing the work, we invite you to join us inside Evolutionary Relationship: The Initiation.
👉 Learn more here: https://www.thesacredwe.com/
⭐ If this episode supported you, please leave a 5-star review.
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 → https://www.thesacredwe.com/sacred-relating-couples
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
Work with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast
🏹Join the Initiated Man Waitlist→ https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/initiated-man-waitlist
💎 Join the Waitlist for The Holy Mama Membership →https://www.courtneywren.com/holymamawaitlist
Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4
Email:
Website:
www.itsmikeelliott.com
www.sacredrelaring.com
www.courtneywren.com
Instagram:
@MikeElliott.Relating
@courtneywren.sacredrelating
MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS: https://mindfulmeds.io/Promo Code: TOGETHER
THE SKIN DEEP CARDS: https://shop.theskindeep.com/collections/all
Promo Code: Together15
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Are you in a relationship where your partner feels angry, demanding, or never satisfied — yet underneath it all, you know they just want connection?
In this episode, we unpack anxious attachment in relationships — and why it often doesn’t look like anxiety at all. Instead, it shows up as rage, ambivalence, push-pull dynamics, emotional outbursts, and demands for connection that paradoxically push intimacy away.
We explore:
The “rage–ambivalence loop” of anxious attachment
Why anxious partners can look avoidant at times
The illusion of presence (“I’m the only one showing up”)
The demand stage vs. self-initiation
How to soothe anxious attachment without losing yourself
Whether you identify as anxious, avoidant, or secure, this conversation will help you understand what’s really happening beneath conflict — and how to move from blame into embodied partnership.
Chapters:
00:00 When Love Feels Repetitive
01:08 Program Invitation The Initiation
02:24 Rate And Share Request
02:57 Anxious Avoidant Setup
05:32 Anxious Looks Like Anger
06:54 Rage Ambivalence Loop
10:10 Anxious Versus Avoidant
12:35 Working With Inner Anger
18:22 How To Stay Present
21:38 Parenting Tantrum Parallel
24:33 Hard Work For Everyone
25:41 Only One Showing Up
26:16 Anxious Presence Illusion
28:28 Embodied Connection Skills
31:37 Hyperfocus Isn’t Attunement
33:18 True Presence Breakthroughs
35:33 Demanding vs Self Initiating
38:36 Reaching Through Old Wounds
44:33 What Anxious Partners Need
46:04 Relational Authority Framework
48:26 Invitation to Go Deeper
52:34 Closing Love and Support
If you’re ready to stop looping the same pattern and actually transform it, our signature couples program Evolutionary Relationship: The Initiation is where this work becomes lived practice.
👉 Join the program or book a call via the link below.For Couples: If you're ready to move from "unconditional acceptance" to "conditional devotion," join Mike and Courtney's flagship program, Evolutionary Relationship: The Initiation https://www.thesacredwe.com/
If you are feeling the pull to join our couples program Evolutionary Relationship- the Initiation, but also have some specific questions, or want to know more, let's hop on a no- pressure call to feel into it together so that you and your partner can get clear on what the program is and whether it's a good fit for you.
Book Your Call → https://calendly.com/transform-rxg/evolutionary-relationship-discovery-call
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 → https://www.thesacredwe.com/sacred-relating-couples
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
Work with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast
🏹Join the Initiated Man Waitlist→ https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/initiated-man-waitlist
💎 Join the Waitlist for The Holy Mama Membership →https://www.courtneywren.com/holymamawaitlist
Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4
Email:
Website:
www.itsmikeelliott.com
www.sacredrelaring.com
www.courtneywren.com
Instagram:
@MikeElliott.Relating
@courtneywren.sacredrelating
MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS: https://mindfulmeds.io/Promo Code: TOGETHER
THE SKIN DEEP CARDS: https://shop.theskindeep.com/collections/all
Promo Code: Together15
-
What if the part of you that feels weak is actually the key to emotional maturity, intimacy, and relational freedom?
In this deeply personal solo episode, Mike explores how avoiding weakness, shame, and shadow parts of ourselves creates projection, defensiveness, and disconnection in relationships. Many of us try to build confidence, strength, discipline, and success to outrun the parts of ourselves that feel inadequate — but the more we resist weakness, the more it quietly shapes our behaviour.
Drawing from personal stories, including childhood trauma, overcompensation, addiction patterns, masculine identity, and relational conflict, Mike introduces a powerful three-part framework inspired by Gene Keys shadow work: Allow. Accept. Embrace.
He unpacks how unintegrated weakness leads to projection, criticism, gaslighting, emotional defensiveness, and the inability to attune in partnership — and why true intimacy begins when we stop fighting the parts of ourselves that feel small.
This episode is about masculine vulnerability, shadow integration, relational accountability, and how loving your weakest parts increases your capacity to love others.
For Couples: If you're ready to move from "unconditional acceptance" to "conditional devotion," join Mike and Courtney's flagship program, Evolutionary Relationship: The Initiation https://www.thesacredwe.com/
If you are feeling the pull to join our couples program Evolutionary Relationship but also have some specific questions, let's hop on a no pressure call to feel into it together so that you and your partner can get clear on what the program is and whether it's a good fit for you → https://calendly.com/transform-rxg/evolutionary-relationship-discovery-call
🎁 Free Gift: Click here to grab your FREE Masculine & Feminine Essence resource https://www.thesacredwe.com/offers/tnF5MFbN/checkout
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 → https://www.thesacredwe.com/sacred-relating-couples
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
Work with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast
🏹Join the Initiated Man Waitlist→ https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/initiated-man-waitlist
💎 Join the Waitlist for The Holy Mama Membership →https://www.courtneywren.com/holymamawaitlist
Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4
Email:
Website:
www.itsmikeelliott.com
www.sacredrelaring.com
www.courtneywren.com
Instagram:
@MikeElliott.Relating
@courtneywren.sacredrelating
MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS: https://mindfulmeds.io/Promo Code: TOGETHER
THE SKIN DEEP CARDS: https://shop.theskindeep.com/collections/all
Promo Code: Together15
-
Most of us have been told that unconditional love is the highest expression of a spiritual relationship. But what if that belief is actually killing your chance at true intimacy?
In this episode, Mike and Courtney challenge the cultural narrative around unconditional love and propose something radical: that mature, evolutionary love is actually conditional. And here's what they discovered—this understanding creates MORE love, not less.
If you've been feeling drained, unseen, or losing yourself in the name of love, this episode is for you.
What You'll Learn:
Why unconditional love often masks neglect, enabling, and soul death
The difference between love as a feeling vs. love as an action
How the lack of conditions actually makes us MORE selfish and less loving
The moment Mike realized unconditional love was hurting his relationship
How "fierce love" and clear conditions transformed their partnership
Why boundaries and conditions are actually deeply loving
How to identify YOUR conditions for feeling truly loved
Real examples: parenting, marriage, and supporting clients through this shift
Key Moment: Mike shares the powerful realization of honoring his own inner child and the vow he made to never abandon his own needs for love again—and how this actually deepened intimacy with Courtney.
For Couples: If you're ready to move from "unconditional acceptance" to "conditional devotion," join Mike and Courtney's flagship program, Evolutionary Relationship: The Initiation. Early bird pricing available until February 19th—$2,000 savings. https://www.thesacredwe.com/
Timestamps:
0:01 The problem with unconditional love2:11 Introducing the radical idea: love is conditional5:01 Bell Hooks changed everything: "Love is an action"7:04 Why this matters in relationships11:47 The story: How Mike's unconditional love was actually hurting them14:47 Courtney's fierce love and what shifted15:49 The river needs banks: why conditions create safety17:34 Parenting example: How boundaries created more love19:40 Client example: How clarity on conditions changed everything20:28 Gordon Neufeld's insight: No boundaries = neglect21:52 True mature love has limits24:05 The paradox: Love as action + unconditional self-love27:42 Why knowing your conditions attracts the right partner28:27 The Evolutionary Relationship: The Initiation programIf you are feeling the pull to join our couples program Evolutionary Relationship- the Initiation, but also have some specific questions, or want to know more, let's hop on a no- pressure call to feel into it together so that you and your partner can get clear on what the program is and whether it's a good fit for you. Book Your Call → https://calendly.com/transform-rxg/evolutionary-relationship-discovery-call
🎁 Free Gift: Click here to grab your FREE Masculine & Feminine Essence resource https://www.thesacredwe.com/offers/tnF5MFbN/checkout
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 → https://www.thesacredwe.com/sacred-relating-couples
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
Work with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast
🏹Join the Initiated Man Waitlist→ https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/initiated-man-waitlist
💎 Join the Waitlist for The Holy Mama Membership →https://www.courtneywren.com/holymamawaitlist
Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4
Email:
Website:
www.itsmikeelliott.com
www.sacredrelaring.com
www.courtneywren.com
Instagram:
@MikeElliott.Relating
@courtneywren.sacredrelating
MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS: https://mindfulmeds.io/Promo Code: TOGETHER
THE SKIN DEEP CARDS: https://shop.theskindeep.com/collections/all
Promo Code: Together15
-
🌱 If you’re feeling called to practice this work in real time, our flagship offering Evolutionary Relationship - The Initiation, price is increasing in two weeks—join at the current rate here. →
If you’ve been told to take space, go into another room, and self-regulate before reconnecting with your partner, this episode may completely change how you understand intimacy.In the conscious relationship and nervous-system world, self-regulation is often treated as the gold standard for healing conflict. But what if focusing on self-regulation alone is actually creating more separation, loneliness, and disconnection in your relationship?
In this deeply embodied episode, Mike & Courtney challenge the self-regulation myth and introduce a radically different approach: co-regulation as the foundation of intimacy. Drawing from attachment science, developmental psychology, and real moments from their own relationship, they explain why humans learn regulation through connection — not isolation — and why intimacy deepens fastest when partners become regulation buddies.
They share how ruptures that once lasted days now resolve in minutes, why taking space too soon can reinforce attachment wounds, and how learning to stay together in dysregulation builds trust, safety, polarity, and desire.
✨ In this episode:
Why self-regulation alone can deepen separation
How co-regulation actually builds nervous-system resilience
Why taking space too quickly can backfire
The concept of becoming “regulation buddies”
The golden rule: connection before communication
Chapters:00:00 Introduction to the Self-Regulation Myth00:51 Evolutionary Relationship: The Initiation01:23 Special Offer Announcement02:13 Challenging Relationship Myths03:00 The Self-Regulation Myth Explained04:01 The Power of Co-Regulation05:11 Personal Experiences and Insights08:00 The Sacred We Space23:29 Practical Applications and Success Stories42:24 Conclusion and Invitation
🎁 Free Gift: Click here to grab your FREE Masculine & Feminine Essence resource https://www.thesacredwe.com/offers/tnF5MFbN/checkout
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 → https://www.thesacredwe.com/sacred-relating-couples
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
Work with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast
🏹Join the Initiated Man Waitlist→ https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/initiated-man-waitlist
💎 Join the Waitlist for The Holy Mama Membership →https://www.courtneywren.com/holymamawaitlist
Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4
Email:
Website:
www.itsmikeelliott.com
www.sacredrelaring.com
www.courtneywren.com
Instagram:
@MikeElliott.Relating
@courtneywren.sacredrelating
MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS: https://mindfulmeds.io/Promo Code: TOGETHER
THE SKIN DEEP CARDS: https://shop.theskindeep.com/collections/all
Promo Code: Together15
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Do you find yourself constantly trying to help, coach, or fix your partner — and still feeling disconnected, resentful, or exhausted?In this powerful episode of the Together Podcast, Mike & Courtney explore the subtle but destructive line between loving someone and trying to fix them. While fixing often looks like care, support, or problem-solving, it frequently masks anxiety, control, and an avoidance of our own inner work — and it quietly erodes intimacy, polarity, and trust.
Drawing from deeply personal stories from their past relationships and their current marriage, Mike & Courtney unpack the fixer–fixee dynamic, why it’s so common among helpers, coaches, and healers, and how it creates codependence rather than connection. They introduce practical frameworks like the sticky note theory, the Go First principle, and their sacred no-coaching rule — tools that help couples move out of resentment and back into true partnership.
✨ In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why fixing feels helpful but damages intimacy
The hidden anxiety underneath the fixer role
How fixing kills polarity and desire
The difference between reflection, vulnerability, and fixing
How to reclaim your own seat in relationship
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction to the Podcast
01:07 The Fixer Dynamic in Relationships
03:06 Personal Stories of Fixing
07:10 Realizations and Shifts
12:44 The Sticky Note Theory
14:02 Mike's Experience with Fixing
18:25 The Impact of Fixing on Relationships
26:13 Personal Growth and Responsibility
29:09 Discovering Self in Relationships
30:30 Embodying Your Desires
32:50 The Sacred We: A Partnership Approach
33:57 The Mirror of Relationships
35:53 Navigating Fixer Tendencies
38:48 Setting Boundaries and Seeking Support
41:54 The Power of Vulnerability
44:19 Rules for Healthy Relationships
46:30 Trusting the Process
51:15 Final Thoughts and Call to Action
🎁 Free Gift: Click here to grab your FREE Masculine & Feminine Essence resource https://www.thesacredwe.com/offers/tnF5MFbN/checkout
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 → https://www.thesacredwe.com/sacred-relating-couples
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
Work with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast
🏹Join the Initiated Man Waitlist→ https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/initiated-man-waitlist
💎 Join the Waitlist for The Holy Mama Membership →https://www.courtneywren.com/holymamawaitlist
Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4
Email:
Website:
www.itsmikeelliott.com
www.sacredrelaring.com
www.courtneywren.com
Instagram:
@MikeElliott.Relating
@courtneywren.sacredrelating
MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS: https://mindfulmeds.io/Promo Code: TOGETHER
THE SKIN DEEP CARDS: https://shop.theskindeep.com/collections/all
Promo Code: Together15
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If you’ve been trying to “calm” your child in the name of nervous system regulation, this episode may completely change how you parent.
In today’s parenting culture, regulation is often mistaken for calmness — but true nervous system regulation has nothing to do with suppressing energy, emotions, or vitality. In this powerful solo episode, Courtney Wren unpacks the biggest myth in nervous-system–aware parenting and explains what real regulation actually looks like in children and parents.
Drawing from her background in somatic therapy, trauma healing, and lived experience as a mother, Courtney explains how children naturally move through cycles of high energy, rest, emotion, and activation — and why labeling active children as “dysregulated” often reflects the parent’s nervous system, not the child’s. She introduces two core nervous system types (often misunderstood in parenting), explains how generational trauma shaped our ideas of “good behavior,” and offers practical tools for tracking regulation accurately.
✨ In this episode:
Why regulation does not equal calm Parenting the Nervous System Th…
The difference between vitality and dysregulation Parenting the Nervous System Th…
The two primary nervous system types in children Parenting the Nervous System Th…
How parents project their own overwhelm onto kids Parenting the Nervous System Th…
Why this generation of children has more life force Parenting the Nervous System Th…
Practical bedtime tools that actually work Parenting the Nervous System Th…
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction to the Podcast
00:59 Understanding the Nervous System
01:30 Parenting with a Regulated Nervous System
06:39 The Myth of Regulation Equals Calm
08:59 Stages of Nervous System Healing
10:43 Defining True Regulation
15:49 Recognizing Dysregulation in Children
20:22 Types of Nervous Systems: Hummingbirds and Whales
24:53 Parenting Different Nervous System Types
28:41 Recognizing Whale Children's Needs
29:52 Engaging Whale Children
31:46 Understanding Hummingbird Children
35:30 Parenting Strategies for Different Children
39:11 The Impact of Ancestral Trauma
48:27 Bedtime Tips for Whale and Hummingbird Children
🎁 Free Gift: Click here to grab your FREE Masculine & Feminine Essence resource https://www.thesacredwe.com/offers/tnF5MFbN/checkout
💛 Work with Mike & Courtney 2:2 → https://www.thesacredwe.com/sacred-relating-couples
Work with Mike → https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching
Work with Courtney → https://www.courtneywren.com/rebirth
📺Subscribe to our YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast
🏹Join the Initiated Man Waitlist→ https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/initiated-man-waitlist
💎 Join the Waitlist for The Holy Mama Membership →https://www.courtneywren.com/holymamawaitlist
Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4
Email:
Website:
www.itsmikeelliott.com
www.sacredrelaring.com
www.courtneywren.com
Instagram:
@MikeElliott.Relating
@courtneywren.sacredrelating
MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS
https://mindfulmeds.io/
Promo Code: TOGETHER
THE SKIN DEEP CARDS: https://shop.theskindeep.com/collections/all
Promo Code: Together15
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