Episodes
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Ila and Charles sit down with Dan Newby, Founder of The School of Emotions, coach, and acclaimed author of five books. Dan is a fervent advocate for emotional literacy, working with educators, leaders, coaches, and families globally. He shares his insights on how understanding emotions can address many of our personal and organizational challenges.
Dan delves into the concept of emotional literacy as a vital life skill, emphasizing the significant benefits of learning to understand and articulate our emotions. Together, the three of us explore:
What trust is, and how different emotions foster a sense of trustThe vast spectrum of human emotions and their impact on trustHow certain emotions, like skepticism and affection, influence our decisions to trust or distrustUnderstanding the purpose and data behind our emotions, moving beyond the simplistic labels of âgoodâ or âbadâ based on how they make us feelDonât miss this thought-provoking discussion that challenges conventional views on emotions and their role in our daily lives.
We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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We sit down with Joseph Myers, trust specialist, renowned speaker, consultant, and author, to discuss our shared mission of leading a movement of more trust. Joseph helps people imagine, reframe, and refocus to foster transparency, engagement, and loyalty. He challenges the notion that trust is an either-or situation, instead exploring the complex interplay between trust and distrust.
We delve into the neuroscience of trust and distrust, examining where each occurs in the brain. Joseph explains that while distrust is natural and important for our safety, it needs to be used differently than we most often do. By learning to harness distrust as a guide, we can come to trust more safely and more often.
We discuss how, even when distrust exists, people and teams can still collaborate effectively if they manage their distrust differently. He emphasizes that trust will inevitably be broken or damaged and that itâs crucial to humanize these experiences. Join us as we explore these profound ideas and learn how to build stronger, more resilient relationships.
We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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Missing episodes?
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This is Part II of a special guest episode, where we delve into how trust manifests and shapes societies across the globe - with Andy Vasily.
Andy has immersed himself in diverse cultures and gained invaluable insights into the dynamics of trust in the many places he and his family have called home. He highlights Charles' book, "The Thin Book of Trust," as a valuable resource for understanding trust dynamics across cultures and we discuss how different cultural perceptions of care, sincerity, reliability, and competence shape interpersonal relationships and interactions.
The conversation takes a reflective turn as Andy emphasizes the universal human desire for connection and belonging. Drawing from personal experiences, he shares how prioritizing self-care has empowered him to cultivate trust within his relationships and emphasizes the importance of psychological safety in nurturing personal growth and fostering connections.
We invite listeners to embrace the inherent caring nature within each of us, and encourage a shift towards prioritizing values that promote trust and authenticity, both within ourselves and in our interactions with others.
We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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In this special guest episode, we delve into the world of trust - how it manifests, evolves, and shapes societies across the globe - with Andy Vasily. Andy is a Leadership/Performance Coach, Podcaster, and seasoned traveler who has immersed himself in diverse cultures and gained invaluable insights into the dynamics of trust in the many places he and his family have called home.
Drawing from his rich, sometimes harrowing, experiences, Andy shares the nuances of trust in various corners of the world. As he describes how he has experienced trust in places like Japan, China, Saudi Arabia, Cambodia, and Azerbaijan, together we ponder the balance between competence-based trust and the human bonds forged through care and sincerity.
We would happily have talked with Andy for hours and since our conversation ended up being longer than our typical episode, weâve broken it into two. This episode (67) is the first part.
We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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In this episode of Trust on Purpose, Ila and Charles delve into the intricacies of honest communication and its profound impact on trust. Inspired by a quote from James Clear, they explore the concept that "a truth unsaid can still be felt" and discuss the implications of withholding truths in personal and professional relationships.
Drawing from personal experiences and coaching insights, our hosts discuss the need to navigate a delicate balance between speaking up authentically and avoiding hurtful communication. From exploring the discomfort of âclearing the airâ to discussing ways to foster psychological safety in teams, they provide practical tips for navigating difficult conversations and repairing communication breakdowns. Through candid dialogue, they underscore the importance of vulnerability, empathy, and genuine connection in building trust within relationships.
We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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Ila and Charles talk with Sean Joyce about his personal journey to becoming a trusted team leader. He challenges the notion that anyone is fully prepared for a leadership role, emphasizing the more realistic, nuanced and gradual evolution of becoming an effective leader.
Sean emphasizes the importance of fostering a culture of collaboration and discusses the significance of transparency, acknowledging imperfections, and creating opportunities for open dialogue within the team. He believes that trust is built when we provide our teams the opportunity to work together toward a clear objective. Sean highlights the role of leaders as facilitators, solution providers, and catalysts for teamwork and innovation - not as someone who has all the answers.
Whether you're a seasoned leader or just embarking on your leadership journey, this episode offers practical advice on cultivating authenticity, setting clear shared objectives, prioritizing the collective success of the team, and, of course, building and maintaining trust.
We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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In the newest episode of their Trust on Purpose podcast, hosts Charles Feltman and Ila Edgar are joined by Michelle Brody - clinical psychologist, executive coach, and author of Own Your Armor - Revolutionary Change for Workplace Culture. Michelle offers insightful guidance on navigating workplace dynamics and delves into the intricate nature of conflict within teams. Drawing from her extensive experience, Michelle explains how understanding and owning one's armor - the behaviors we adopt to protect ourselves in response to perceived threats - can transform a team's culture. Tune in to explore how recognizing and managing armor can lead to more authentic and productive relationships in the workplace.
We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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Welcome to the episode about building habits, where we discuss the trust-building behaviours that define our relationships and how to make them habits. Our conversation is inspired by a question posed by James Clear, in a recent issue of his newsletter: âAre the results I'm expecting aligned with the habits Iâm following each day?â
We often intend to act in ways that build trust, yet our habitual behaviours may not always reflect our intentions. How do we bridge the gap? Join us as we navigate the process of habit change, understanding that replacing old habits requires more than sheer willpower. We discuss the reality of not getting it right the first time and the necessity of practice to build new habits, and offer practical strategies for initiating change.
We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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Whether spoken or unspoken, complaints can either foster trust or erode it within relationships. Ila and Charles delve into the intricate dynamics of trust, communication, and the often-overlooked causes and impacts of complaints. The conversation explores the importance of making clear and complete requests in driving desired outcomes and the many implications of expressing our grievances. They also explore the impact of unspoken grievances on relationships, from breeding resentment to undermining trust. Listeners are encouraged to ask themselves the tough questions: Is my complaint fair? Were my expectations clear? Am I avoiding difficult conversations? Do I care about salvaging the relationship?
We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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Ila and Charles dive into the fascinating world of embodied learning with Dr. Amanda Blake, the award-winning author of "Your Body is Your Brain" and the visionary behind the âBody = Brainâ experiential leadership course. In this captivating podcast, we explore a simple, powerful, science-based practice for harnessing the power of body and mind together to develop desired personal qualities.
Learn how to engage both your brain and body in the learning process, whether it's mastering the invaluable competency of trust-building, cultivating trustworthiness within yourself, or any quality you wish to develop. Using a holistic approach, Dr. Blake unveils a transformative process that combines conceptual self-awareness, embodied self-awareness, and relational skills to support human growth and development. Discover how to practice and refine these behaviours, transforming them into natural expressions of who you are.
We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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Uncover the secrets to maintaining trust despite disagreements in our latest episode, where Ila and Charles delve into why dissent doesn't have to spell distrust. As we walk you through the delicate interplay of expressing differing opinions, you'll gain strategies for keeping trust intact. Our experiences with clients in the throes of work-related disputes serve as a rich backdrop for this discussion, highlighting the role of psychological safety and the four trust domains.
We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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Our first episode of 2024 addresses a listener question: What do I do when my leader doesn't believe that I'm at capacity? Imagine your leader has asked you to take on new work and you are stunned. You think, âCanât you see I already have too much to do?!â You try to tell them, but they donât seem to believe you. Trust issue alert! Ila and Charles discuss the importance of building a foundation of trust so disbelief doesnât creep in, and how you can address it when it does, while building trust in the process.
We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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When commitments are made by a leader (âYes, my team can do that!â) without asking the people who will have to do the work, the inevitable outcome is an erosion of trust - both between the leader and their team, and with whoever they made the commitment to, if the team falls short. Ila and Charles dive into a topic raised by a listener for this âAsk us anythingâ episode, discussing how, if leaders want to maintain strong trust with their teams and other stakeholders, they need to take time to check in with their teams before committing.
We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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Being vulnerable in the workplace can be challenging for people. Yet trusting others is inherently an act of vulnerability: we canât get to trust without it. Deciding when, with whom, how, and to what extent to demonstrate vulnerability is part of the competency of trust-building. Discussing these decisions makes for a deeply human conversation between Ila and Charles.
We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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Whether you are giving advice when it hasnât been requested or receiving advice that you havenât asked for, there is potential for a direct and damaging hit to trust in the relationship. The messages - often unintentional - that are sent revolve around us not trusting the other personâs competence or them not trusting ours. Ila and Charles have an eye-opening discussion about why people jump to offer advice when not asked, what messages it sends when we do, and what we can say when we want to offer help so it is received in the way it is intended.
We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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Lies and omissions damage trust. That might sound painfully obvious, and you may think, âI never hide information, and I certainly donât lie.â In reality, we have all likely been in situations where we donât feel comfortable sharing everything we know, so we make a quick decision to keep quiet without considering possible consequences. Ila and Charles talk about what leads us to lie or withhold information (spoiler alert: reasons include unexamined assumptions, high pressure, and unclear expectations), and how we can build greater trust in our relationships with intention and practice.
We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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Weâve all been there - someone has said or done something that causes us to feel defensive and drives us to dig our heels into our ârightness,â fighting against anything that invalidates it. Good-bye trust. Ila and Charles have experienced trust breakdowns with clients even as professional coaches. They share their experiences and insights into how defensiveness erodes trust and what we can do to create relationships in which people feel safe to discuss feelings of defensiveness.
We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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Charles and Ila continue their conversation with Angela Cusack, executive coach and author of âDiscover the Matrix. Integrity: The True Mark of Leadershipâ about how recognizing what it means to be human - flaws and all - allows us to develop integrity and deep trust with one another.We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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In part 1 of a 2-part episode, Ila and Charles talk with Angela Cusack, executive coach and author of âDiscover the Matrix. Integrity: The True Mark of Leadershipâ about how building our emotional capacity to see our true selves and showing up in life and leadership with integrity, builds trust in ourselves and with others.
We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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If youâve ever wondered how to make real change in how your organization or team works together using a proven framework, common language, and actionable behaviours, this is a conversation youâll want to hear. Ila and Charles talk to a Leadership Development team from a school district in Maryland who used the insights, lessons, and framework from The Thin Book of Trust, written by Charles, to guide powerful trust-building work with real results.We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.
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